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View Poll Results: Does Skin Colour Play A Role When Selecting A Wife/Hubby

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  • No It Doesn't Matter As Long As The Individual Is Pious With A Positive Character

    283 58.47%
  • Yes It Makes A Differences To Me It's Personal Preference.....

    88 18.18%
  • I'm So Desperate I'll Take Anybody Please

    16 3.31%
  • Never Thought About It.....

    24 4.96%
  • I Don't Care...

    73 15.08%
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  1. #1
    Resident Optometrist $HugoBoss$'s Avatar
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    Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Well does it matter to you because a lot of muslim brothers these days want to marry muslim girls with very fair skin which i think is wrong. Most of you will say it doesn't matter as long as he/she is pious with a positive character and thats how it should be but if there were two identical girls/guys one light skin and the other dark skin would you close your eyes and pick one or say skin colour doesn't matter but if i had to choose it would be ________

    I was talking with my cousin today and she got a marriage proposal and she rejected the guy because he was to dark skinned because she's white like a ghost. I asked her is that not being biased??? She's like skin colour doesn't matter to me it's just my personal preference i was like She's dumb thats all i can say about her.


    I don't want to offend anyone it's just a thought...........
    Everyone thinks their a scholar because they know how to copy and paste, you get your ummah face on and the second you log out, you know your reality. Anyone can attain knowledge, how many can implement it?

  2. #521
    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    There's no logic to any of these factors. Its all shaped by customs, society, media, culture and so on.

    Take PB's example of two identicle twins who share the same features, looks, everything except for one factor. Based on that one factor alone some people will be able to decide who they prefer in 'attractiveness'.

    Height - If one twin is 5ft 7 and the other one 5ft 0, there will be people who prefer the taller one and others who might prefer the shorter one. I know generally amongst Asians being tall is always seen as an attractive trait. You hear aunties say "MashaAllah you're so tall" but never the other. But there is no logic in having a height preference, but it's something many of us have. Also why is it that women seldom will marry someone shorter than them and men the opposite. There is no logic behind this objection but it's something a lot of us have.

    Size - If one twin was slim and the other one is a bit chubby, there will be some preferring one over the other. Again no real logic behind this and the dominant preference changes depending on society and time.

    Colour - One twin could be fair (light brown) and the other could be darker (chocolate brown), and some people will prefer one over the other. Just like the others above no logic behind this but people will have preferences.
    it's features

    like I don't like big lips but like some people might like them

    it's not colour cos like every shade has its own it's just features

    like I can make a post describing them but then u lot are all gonna start on me
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  3. #522
    ... Khalid b. Walid's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    it's features

    like I don't like big lips but like some people might like them

    it's not colour cos like every shade has its own it's just features

    like I can make a post describing them but then u lot are all gonna start on me
    You're mentioning a facial feature but colour is just another physical feature that people hold.

    A feature can be any physical attribute of a person. No need to restrict the definition to only facial features.

  4. #523
    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    You're mentioning a facial feature but colour is just another physical feature that people hold.

    A feature can be any physical attribute of a person. No need to restrict the definition to only facial features.
    I still don't fully get it cos I still think it's features

    but like I kinda get it cos it's like when u eat red or yellow tomatoes. They taste the same but u just auto like the yellow ones. But that's cos they're rare so actually no I don't get it
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  5. #524
    ... Khalid b. Walid's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    I still don't fully get it cos I still think it's features

    but like I kinda get it cos it's like when u eat red or yellow tomatoes. They taste the same but u just auto like the yellow ones. But that's cos they're rare so actually no I don't get it

    But you mentioned lips earlier and said you don't like big lips. What is the rationale behind that? There is none. It's just a preference you have with no reasoning why. There'll be people out there thinking "???", as they will be completely indifferent to big or thin lips. It makes no difference to them in the area of attractiveness.

    I heard comments in real life praising sharp noses and negative towards fat noses. There could be a person thinking "???" as that person is completely indifferent to the person's nose and has no preference.

    In the context of this thread, it is you who's going "???" because you have no preference when it comes to colour. On the flip side there may be someone reading your lip size comment and going "???" as they have no preference in that area.

  6. #525
    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    But you mentioned lips earlier and said you don't like big lips. What is the rationale behind that? There is none. It's just a preference you have with no reasoning why. There'll be people out there thinking "???", as they will be completely indifferent to big or thin lips. It makes no difference to them in the area of attractiveness.

    I heard comments in real life praising sharp noses and negative towards fat noses. There could be a person thinking "???" as that person is completely indifferent to the person's nose and has no preference.

    In the context of this thread, it is you who's going "???" because you have no preference when it comes to colour. On the flip side there may be someone reading your lip size comment and going "???" as they have no preference in that area.
    Oh i see

    but the big lips thing makes sense

    ok maybe it doesnt

    i never thought of it like that stop winning I don't know who's right or wrong anymore
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  7. #526
    Forgive me please patient believer's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    But you mentioned lips earlier and said you don't like big lips. What is the rationale behind that? There is none. It's just a preference you have with no reasoning why. There'll be people out there thinking "???", as they will be completely indifferent to big or thin lips. It makes no difference to them in the area of attractiveness.

    I heard comments in real life praising sharp noses and negative towards fat noses. There could be a person thinking "???" as that person is completely indifferent to the person's nose and has no preference.

    In the context of this thread, it is you who's going "???" because you have no preference when it comes to colour. On the flip side there may be someone reading your lip size comment and going "???" as they have no preference in that area.
    No akhi there is a reasoning behind every preference as far as i am aware . In order to see this we must be truthful with ourselves . Preference usually comes from upbringing , environment/surroundings and media. With big lips , there was a time no one liked it , as in the west ,and Asia . Big lips/full lips is a usually a trait of Africans . They were ridiculed for centuries until the media has shown preference for it. Now we have young girls injecting their lips with some kind of serums or even going through surgery just so that they get full lips . So what is going on?
    Similarly , people tend to prefer a specific skin colour becasue they are either influenced by their environment /media and culture . No child is born to prefer a specific color .Preference is usually down to featrures and that is not equal to colour.
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

  8. #527
    ... Khalid b. Walid's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by patient believer View Post
    No akhi there is a reasoning behind every preference as far as i am aware . In order to see this we must be truthful with ourselves . Preference usually comes from upbringing , environment/surroundings and media. With big lips , there was a time no one liked it , as in the west ,and Asia . Big lips/full lips is a usually a trait of Africans . They were ridiculed for centuries until the media has shown preference for it. Now we have young girls injecting their lips with some kind of serums or even going through surgery just so that they get full lips . So what is going on?
    Similarly , people tend to prefer a specific skin colour becasue they are either influenced by their environment /media and culture . No child is born to prefer a specific color .Preference is usually down to featrures and that is not equal to colour.
    I agree with you and actually mentioned that earlier. I think logic was a better word to use then reasoning in that last post of mine. There may be reasons as to why people's preferences have been shaped as such, but there is no logical reasoning.

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    There's no logic to any of these factors. Its all shaped by customs, society, media, culture and so on.

  9. #528
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    I agree with you and actually mentioned that earlier. I think logic was a better word to use then reasoning in that last post of mine. There may be reasons as to why people's preferences have been shaped as such, but there is no logical reasoning.
    There's logic or something deeper behind many preferences.
    Why do girls and guys feel uncomfortable with the guy being short or shorter than her?
    That's just an example but if you think about it, there are deeper reasons for a lot of these common preferences. It's the same thing with skin colour.
    Your mind attributes features and characteristics to skin colours depending on what you see in your everyday life, skin colours also fit into their different ethnicities, we have our own ideas about each ethnicity based on what we hear and see and based on the society.
    We all do it, it's in our minds somewhere. This shapes our 'preference'.

    There are so many other factors as well, things that are naturally built in us in terms of what men look for and what women look for.
    So I disagree that there is no 'logic' to preference, there's always something behind it whether we realise that or not.

    You might be saying the same thing, i'm not sure. But this is for those saying "I just prefer darker/lighter skin" as if there is nothing else behind that preference. We don't just 'prefer' things.
    Last edited by Rumaysah~; 11-11-16 at 03:10 PM.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
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  10. #529
    جبريل -Jibril-'s Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    I've seen beauty and ugly in every shade.
    I don't discriminate
    There is rest only in the aakhira.
    Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

    - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

    If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
    and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
    then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

    - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

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    That's right, a nude dog.
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  11. #530
    *alhamdulillah* noraina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    Every skin colour or shade is beautiful in its own way, I don't think I've ever seen any skin tone and thought 'gosh, that's ugly'. Allah swt has created us into different tribes and nations, actually even within the same nation or ethnicity there can be such a variety of features and skin tones...for me personally skin colour actually doesn't have any impact of what I think of someone.

    But yes character is important. I once met this girl who was extremely beautiful but the moment she opened her mouth I just couldn't see that beauty in her any more - I think it's time we were taught that the beauty which is seen without a mirror or a compliment is the one we should focus on.
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
    Oh turner of the Hearts make my heart firm on Your Deen

  12. #531
    mommys boy msmoorad's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    salaams to all

    this is one topic thats always popular.
    no matter ppl say- actions speak louder than words

    u can judge what people actually prefer/find attractive based on the choices they make.
    bcos when it comes to things like skin colour, many ppl will try to avoid conflict by agreeing/conforming with/to the majority on the forum despite their ACTUAL preference being something else.

    and Allah ta'ala knows best
    jazakallah
    Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
    very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

  13. #532
    Odan
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Colour is just skin deep, what is MOST important is person's Deen and akhlaq.

  14. #533
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Yes it does matter ...alot.

  15. #534
    islamreligion.com eesa the kiwi's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post
    Yes it does matter ...alot.
    Explanation?
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

  16. #535
    Its fine, take a 38mm noobz's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    of course it does , would anyone here marry someone who has that disease which makes their skin go yellow'ish ?




  17. #536
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by noobz View Post
    of course it does , would anyone here marry someone who has that disease which makes their skin go yellow'ish ?
    I had an islam teacher who had white spots, i seen him some months ago hes almost completely white now
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  18. #537
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Btw is it bad to have a preference? Islamically wrong?
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  19. #538
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Btw is it bad to have a preference? Islamically wrong?
    What can you do if you like some specific type, tall, short, skinny,fat, dark,fair etc....I went for lecture, and shaykh said that's why we are told to look before getting married.

  20. #539
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    What can you do if you like some specific type, tall, short, skinny,fat, dark,fair etc....I went for lecture, and shaykh said that's why we are told to look before getting married.
    Lol i guess id just feel weird specifying to someone who would be my wali
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  21. #540
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Lol i guess id just feel weird specifying to someone who would be my wali
    I know, but they want us to have attraction between us....
    If,you don't tell, he'll bring you wrong guys all the time...

  22. #541
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    I know, but they want us to have attraction between us....
    If,you don't tell, he'll bring you wrong guys all the time...
    Many ppl asume that everyone wants so mary within their race lol
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by noobz View Post
    of course it does , would anyone here marry someone who has that disease which makes their skin go yellow'ish ?
    He needs to go see dr and get better first....

  24. #543
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Many ppl asume that everyone wants so mary within their race lol
    People should be more open, our Ummah is big and beautiful, Alhamdulillah.

  25. #544
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    People should be more open, our Ummah is big and beautiful, Alhamdulillah.
    True sis!!
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  26. #545
    Its fine, take a 38mm noobz's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    I had an islam teacher who had white spots, i seen him some months ago hes almost completely white now
    he proly drank milk after he ate fish.




  27. #546
    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by noobz View Post
    he proly drank milk after he ate fish.
    I think he mentioned he drank tea before eating meat
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  28. #547
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Btw is it bad to have a preference? Islamically wrong?
    No ofc not

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by noobz View Post
    of course it does , would anyone here marry someone who has that disease which makes their skin go yellow'ish ?
    U mean joarndis?

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    I had an islam teacher who had white spots, i seen him some months ago hes almost completely white now
    I think you're talking about vitiligo

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    U mean joarndis?
    Jaundice

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    I think you're talking about vitiligo
    Yea exactly
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    skin colour doesnt matter, taqwa matters
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    Jaundice
    Yh joarndis lol
    I cba to check the spelling

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Allah is the best of creators.

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    ::eek:: Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    why is this even a thread..

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    Explanation?
    I only find myself attracted to dark skinned men ...that's it really, thats the only reason lol

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    I think you're talking about vitiligo
    There was one person I saw with that skin condition and appearance wise I thought he was good looking

    For me it's more to do with the overall face, not the skin colour

    Had to be Bengali as this was my parents choice and much easier to adjust with certain things
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    I guess having a preference and considering one skin colour better than another are two seperate issues.

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Funny how you can't even have a marry someone you find attractive nowadays because it's apparently some deeply rooted hidden 'racism' inside you that has been culminating since your childhood due to your upbringing, surroundings, culture etc.

    Which is why you need to marry against someone you don't find attractive against your will to prove to the world that you are not 'racist'.

    Another reason why I don't take people who casually throw around the word 'racist' seriously.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

 

 

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