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View Poll Results: Does Skin Colour Play A Role When Selecting A Wife/Hubby

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  • No It Doesn't Matter As Long As The Individual Is Pious With A Positive Character

    283 58.47%
  • Yes It Makes A Differences To Me It's Personal Preference.....

    88 18.18%
  • I'm So Desperate I'll Take Anybody Please

    16 3.31%
  • Never Thought About It.....

    24 4.96%
  • I Don't Care...

    73 15.08%
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  1. #1
    Resident Optometrist $HugoBoss$'s Avatar
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    Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Well does it matter to you because a lot of muslim brothers these days want to marry muslim girls with very fair skin which i think is wrong. Most of you will say it doesn't matter as long as he/she is pious with a positive character and thats how it should be but if there were two identical girls/guys one light skin and the other dark skin would you close your eyes and pick one or say skin colour doesn't matter but if i had to choose it would be ________

    I was talking with my cousin today and she got a marriage proposal and she rejected the guy because he was to dark skinned because she's white like a ghost. I asked her is that not being biased??? She's like skin colour doesn't matter to me it's just my personal preference i was like She's dumb thats all i can say about her.


    I don't want to offend anyone it's just a thought...........
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    Odan Chained_Water's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    No it does not matter at all.

    Not one little bit.

    Nope.
    My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi

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  3. #3
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Chained_Water View Post
    No it does not matter at all.

    Not one little bit.

    Nope.
    I agree totally. Its a stupid thing to a base decision upon!
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  4. #4

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    i also say its stupid but it does have an effect, if its sum1's personal preferance and they are givin the oppertunity of 2 identicle people only diff, one light skinned one dark, its come to what that person likes i guess, coz remember one of the 4 charateristics is beuty right so if u happen to like light skinnned people more then thats you..but personally dark or light it dont matter!!!

  5. #5
    System Error Quest's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Asalama alaykum wr wb

    I will Be Honest, skin color doesnt matter, people are people yes
    however i dont think those who have certain preferences should be i dont know whats the word but they shouldnt be made to feel bad.

    after all the intention behind the preference makes a big difference no?

    Personally i am not attracted to jet pale white brothers nor am i attracted to jet black/blue brothers. but then again thats a general statement regarding my preference it does change depending on the features. also even if it doesnt, it doesnt mean i dont love them for the sake of allah nor does it mean i would stand in the way of family, friends or my own children in the future if they preferred what i dont prefer.

    There is a thin line between preference and discrimination, we should acknowledge that.

    yes its stupid to dismiss a brother who was pious due to such preferences.and when put in that position i didnt, i think diin, aqlaaq, etc are all better criterias to judge by. however the other criterias are also allowed they are just not reccomended above the diin criteria.

    The same way i prefer taller brothers to short
    i prefer brothers who are mid way in complexion. however it doesnt matter if a particular bro didnt meet this preference, i disagree with shalow people who dismiss brothers and sisters based on them not meeting minor preferences like the one i mentioned.

    if anyone is going to comment on my post, pls re read it, understand it and see where am coming from, i hate people posting replies misunderstanding my initial point.

    I am not a racist nor a tribalist, i just have a particular preference.
    which when other important things over shadow it i would disregard it (preference).

    peace
    Last edited by Quest; 24-02-07 at 01:48 AM.
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

  6. #6
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    I agree with anna & CW here, what a shallow way of being attracted to someone subhanaAllah.

    You can choose someone for their good looks its permissable but what has skin colour got anything to do with being attractive physically. The prophet (saw) said pick the pious woman, but placing your decision solely on how light her skin colour is pretty retarded.

    It's whats underneath the skin that matters everything else meaningless.
    "It is He who sent to an illiterate people a messenger from amongst themselves, reciting to them His signs and purifying them and teaching them the Book and the wisdom even though before they were clearly in error." [Soorah al-Jumu`ah (62):2]

  7. #7

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    ...of course not ...

    Is there anything in any of the holy books that say so? .... coffee, caramel, mocha, milk ... skin tones are beautiful ...

    I'm speckled by the way ....

  8. #8
    Banned Kal-El's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    I've found people that are extremely sensitive over this, even talking about it.

    Like Quest said above, people's preferences can be based on any physical aspect such as their eyes, their height, their weight, their lips, their physique and even their complexion. More than often, the idea of skin colour as a preference can automatically fall into the 'racist' bracket, that's why people have an extra layer of sensitivity regarding it.

    It's not always as simple as "skin colour"; it could mean just their complexion. I.e. are they dark, are they light? And sometimes it can very well mean "are they black or white?".

    I can understand why some people are sensitive about even mentioning the skin aspect (because of its links with racism), but everyone has their own preference - and as long as that preference is not judgemental, then there isn't nothing wrong with it IMO. Every man and woman on this Earth has an image of their ideal partner, there's nothing wrong in describing that image.

    But with this complexion thing; it's ancient. Every culture thinks the lighter the complexion, the more attractive, especially in regards to women - I hear alot of Muslim women are dismissed because their complexion isn't light enough for the man's preference

    But this talk is all based on looks. There's more to being a husband/wife than looks - they fade away in time.
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  9. #9
    System Error Quest's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by ADZ w3 View Post
    i also say its stupid but it does have an effect, if its sum1's personal preferance and they are givin the oppertunity of 2 identicle people only diff, one light skinned one dark, its come to what that person likes i guess, coz remember one of the 4 charateristics is beuty right so if u happen to like light skinnned people more then thats you..but personally dark or light it dont matter!!!
    heres the problem tho, what makes light skin women the definition of beauty?

    i have seen some darker sisters with much better features then some light skin sisters.

    features is what symbolises 'beauty' IMO
    but i do believe based on what i see that color does compliment beauty.

    hence why darker people use powder to look a bit lighter
    and white people get tans.

    there is a reason behind why they do this, after all beauty is relative and everyone has their definition of whats beauty.
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

  10. #10
    Banned Kal-El's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Quest View Post
    heres the problem tho, what makes light skin women the definition of beauty?
    Quote Originally Posted by Quest View Post

    i have seen some darker sisters with much better features then some light skin sisters.

    features is what symbolises 'beauty' IMO
    but i do believe based on what i see that color does compliment beauty.

    hence why darker people use powder to look a bit lighter
    and white people get tans.

    there is a reason behind why they do this, after all beauty is relative and everyone has their definition of whats beauty.
    Sis, I think it's because darker colours is seen as more masculine and hence why it's associated with men, and not women.

    It's the same sentiment as to why most women would want a taller husband. It's all preference.
    Last edited by Kal-El; 24-02-07 at 01:58 AM.
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  11. #11
    System Error Quest's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Kal like i said, there is a thin line between preference and discrimination.
    this thin line can be seen when the intention behind the preference is made known.

    many people dislike these topics because it brings sensitivities to come to surface. these sensitivities are due to the train of thought the subject produced. in my opinion, unless the intention behind such subjects or the one stating their view in such subjects isnt made clear, the whole subject can become controversial, in that many people will respond to the subject based on an implication they derived from whats said, an implication by the way not neccessarily pointed to by the text in itself, but rather presumptions made abt the text.

    i have seen this happen many times, the above is based on observations i have made in the past.

    Peace
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

  12. #12
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    I have an honest question for people.


    I hear about skin color, but in many countries there are same ethnic people with same language, same culture with two different skin colors....


    If you were a kashmiri pakistani light skin bro would you marry a darker pakistani sister? and vice versa...

    even from where I come from (somalia) we are ONE people but yet you would be suprised the differen shade of skin color there is amongst us.


    Skin color is not the issue in most cases, what it tends to be is people's fanatic obsession with their foreign traditions of looking down at people from different cultures.. its disgusting.

    and not last of all, its also unislamic.
    Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
    "None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself"


  13. #13
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Kal-El View Post

    Sis, I think it's because darker colours is seen as more masculine and hence why it's associated with men, and not women.

    It's the same sentiment as to why most women would want a taller husband. It's all preference.
    lol more masculine? Now thats a 1st i have never heard this b4 are u serious?

    i thought some chicks liked taller men because its an old fashioned mindset . some people are under the notion that the man must be taller and older than the woman. i have never heard the woman must be fairer then the men, this isnt an old fashioned mindset its a mindset which mainly became widespread during the colonial times.
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

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    System Error Quest's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by abdusamad View Post
    I have an honest question for people.


    I hear about skin color, but in many countries there are same ethnic people with same language, same culture with two different skin colors....


    If you were a kashmiri pakistani light skin bro would you marry a darker pakistani sister? and vice versa...

    even from where I come from (somalia) we are ONE people but yet you would be suprised the differen shade of skin color there is amongst us.


    Skin color is not the issue in most cases, what it tends to be is people's fanatic obsession with their foreign traditions of looking down at people from different cultures.. its disgusting.

    and not last of all, its also unislamic.
    I think somalis have more problems inregards to tribalism then skin color.
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Quest View Post
    I think somalis have more problems inregards to tribalism then skin color.


    I honestly believe skin color plays little role in people's mind. On the other hand i believe it is different cultures which people dislike and as a result tend to take it out on the person instead of his culture.
    Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
    "None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself"


  16. #16
    Banned Kal-El's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Quest View Post
    lol more masculine? Now thats a 1st i have never heard this b4 are u serious?
    Quote Originally Posted by Quest View Post

    i thought some chicks liked taller men because its an old fashioned mindset . some people are under the notion that the man must be taller and older than the woman. i have never heard the woman must be fairer then the men, this isnt an old fashioned mindset its a mindset which mainly became widespread during the colonial times.
    Like you said, colour emphasies beauty, or if not colour, atleast different shades. I think colour or too much colour can be seen as feminine.

    Ask most boys what their favourite colour is and what do you think they'll answer? Now compare the colours they tell you with the colours the girls would prefer...they would like the brighter, more colourful ones better right?

    I don't know whether or not it's natural, or social, but males prefer lack of colour or atleast darker shades of colour - the opposite to the women. So it may not be masculine literally, but that preference is ultimately what seperates the two when we talk about colour.

    Most women want their husbands to be taller because that is seen as more masculine; because of the physical presence. Physical power/presence = masculine, because it's mainly predominantly a male attribute.

    And most husbands would prefer wives as tall, or shorter than them. Same reason, they don't want a physical presence or they think shorter wives is more 'feminine'.

    It's the same concept with the skin complexion aspect. It's unacceptable that you can judge someone based on their appearance, there's no question in that - but prefering something over another doesn't automatically mean you intend on discriminating the opposite of your preference.
    Last edited by Kal-El; 24-02-07 at 02:09 AM.
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  17. #17
    Banned Kal-El's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by abdusamad View Post
    I honestly believe skin color plays little role in people's mind. On the other hand i believe it is different cultures which people dislike and as a result tend to take it out on the person instead of his culture.


    Well I haven't come across any Somali's having an exclusive preference towards appearance...tribalism however..
    If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

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    System Error Quest's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Kal-El View Post

    Ask most boys what their favourite colour is and what do you think they'll answer? Now compare the colours they tell you with the colours the girls would prefer...they would like the brighter, more colourful ones better right?

    I don't know whether or not it's natural, or social, but males prefer lack of colour or atleast darker shades of colour - the opposite to the women. So it may not be masculine literally, but that preference is ultimately what seperates the two when we talk about colour.
    lol these 2 paragraphs contradict each other, when i read the 1st i was thinking in line with the second. but i get ur point. so wont over analyse
    " Whoever abandones jihad in order to be safe from fitnah, then he has already fallen into fitnah that is a result of doubts in his heart, sickness of his mind and his abandoning jihad that Allah ordered him!" Ibn Taymeeyah r/a

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Yea sorry, I meant the girls would prefer the brighter in the 1st para..
    If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    salaam

    hmm... i think culture has a big influence. some cultures believe the more fair a woman's complexion is, the more beautiful she is. u can hav small eyes and a fat nose but as long as ur fair u r considered to be beautiful.

    even though a darker skinned person can hav more attractive facial features, the colour of skin i guess dominates over features
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by GuCcI View Post
    salaam

    hmm... i think culture has a big influence. some cultures believe the more fair a woman's complexion is, the more beautiful she is. u can hav small eyes and a fat nose but as long as ur fair u r considered to be beautiful.

    even though a darker skinned person can hav more attractive facial features, the colour of skin i guess dominates over features
    Or it western culture it's the opposite, so lets do this: transfer male population of the west to south asia and transfer male population of south asia to the west. Everybody will be happy, insha'allah!
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Wouldnt skin colour come under the category of attractiveness? After all, it may be that the person doesn't find dark skin attractive, alongside tiny eyes, huge teeth etc.

    And if he/she doesnt find the person attractive because one of the reasons being he/she is dark skinned then that is her/his preference.
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    evry1 has their likes and dislikes
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Kal-El View Post

    Sis, I think it's because darker colours is seen as more masculine
    Thas just mean..

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    It's all good.

    As long as they aren't hairier than I am
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Unique Muslimah View Post
    Thas just mean..
    I meant no offence but I don't see how it is mean. It may be stereotyping, but it's true. Boys prefer darker colours to represent themselves whereas most girls prefer lighter colours as representations..
    If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Irfan GBH View Post
    Or it western culture it's the opposite, so lets do this: transfer male population of the west to south asia and transfer male population of south asia to the west. Everybody will be happy, insha'allah!

    salaam

    err... i dono lol. im not talking about just males preferring a fair skinned woman. im talking serious desi culture where a mother will want her son to marry a fair skinned lady rather than a darker one even if she is more educated, etc.
    dont even get me started on if u [not YOU but i mean generally speaking] hav a sister or a cousin ur age who is fairer than u
    it kills the self esteem
    Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    It could almost be considered close-minded to marry someone because of their skin colored. It think that it is idiocy to to marry someone because of their skin color.

  29. #29
    Positivity!!! ummbilal's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    skin colour doesnt matter at all, its piety that people need to look at,
    avatar from deviant art

    bring back PAGAL LADOOOO

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    ~ A Clasp of Innocence ~ ur_yusra's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Its all about the money.
    - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

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    ~Unworthy of Mercy~
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by ur_yusra View Post
    Its all about the money.
    i concur!!
    Some claim that u are like any one of us, But who can claim, to have visited the Arsh? We say bashr, but respect is also due. For mankind are like rocks, but a pearl are u. U travelled the 7Heavens, and ur eyes did not lie. For Jibril could not pass, but u, O Madani, glided by.

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    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by MMS View Post
    i concur!!


    bravo jolly good sonny jim!
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Odan Chained_Water's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by ur_yusra View Post
    Its all about the money.


    My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi

    Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.- Shaykh al-Shadhili

    Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. - Jibreel (as)

    ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ
    O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
    Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. - Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

    أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Nope..not at all...the girl could be brown...white..purple..orange...or all shades of the rainbow..it don't matter. Its about the personality..thats what counts.

  35. #35
    ~ A Clasp of Innocence ~ ur_yusra's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Mustafa_A View Post
    Nope..not at all...the girl could be brown...white..purple..orange...or all shades of the rainbow..it don't matter. Its about the personality..thats what counts.
    If the girls gone purple - most likely she has hypoxia and eventually respiratory failure so no guarantees she'll be able to attend the wedding.

    Its not good news if shes orange either - indicatory of severe jaundice and liver failure which ultimately means death.

    Sorry.
    - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

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    Courtesy of bro AbuMus'ab cl@rity's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Personally it dusnt mater at all abt theskin colour, however family does prefer fair skin. It basically depends on ur culture and family. If u were to marry a a dark person then the family wud be like...eeeww hes dark isnt he? Bt it dunt matter to me.
    We choose what Allah swt wills because thats our choice and His will.

  37. #37
    ~Alhamdulillah~ Masumah's Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by GuCcI View Post
    salaam

    hmm... i think culture has a big influence. some cultures believe the more fair a woman's complexion is, the more beautiful she is. u can hav small eyes and a fat nose but as long as ur fair u r considered to be beautiful.

    even though a darker skinned person can hav more attractive facial features, the colour of skin i guess dominates over features

    i agree it happens alot.

    personally i prefer darker skin but wen it cums to marriage only the piety matters
    *Alhamdulillah*

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    it definately matters to a lot of people. for example, i have heard my own "type" paki's, say that this paki is too dark, i dont want to marry him/her...
    ...

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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Quote Originally Posted by ur_yusra View Post
    If the girls gone purple - most likely she has hypoxia and eventually respiratory failure so no guarantees she'll be able to attend the wedding.

    Its not good news if shes orange either - indicatory of severe jaundice and liver failure which ultimately means death.

    Sorry.
    If the bride can't come to the groom..then the groom will go to the bride.. havin a wedding in a hospital room would be something different for sure!

  40. #40
    ʚϊɞ ᎵᎡᎥᏁᏟᎬᎴᎴ ʚϊɞ Umm_Adam_'s Avatar
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    Re: Does Skin Colour Matter?????

    Allah made us all with different skin colours
    because each and everyone of us is unique
    we are also all equal

    so skin colour doesnt matter and the fact that she turned
    the proposal down (dnt mean to cause offence) becasue of
    his skin colour is well bad she soun ds kind of vain like she is
    better than him when in fact she is just as equal as him.

    But maybe she had other reasons, im not going to judge her
    but you know inshallah she finds some one who makes her happy
    Everyone deserves happiness,
    And He found you lost and guided you,
    ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

    Salaah Reminders

    Guide us to the straight pain.
    " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
    ~ Quran 1:6 ~

    الله أعلم


 

 

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