View Full Version : what's the islamic ruling on this..
Assalamu bros and sisters
what is the Islamic stand on the issue where the parents want to marry off their daughter ASAP but the daughter (a mature 22 year old) wants to wait ?
can the parents force their daughter to marry, even tho there's a good chance of her gettin married after a couple of years to a decent, practicing bro ?
is the gal using her Islamic right when she says no, i am not in the 'marriage-mode' i need time to prepare myself, is the gal right in stating so ?
jazakallah
dhakiyya
17-06-06, 07:06 PM
no her parents can't force her. the consent of the bride and the groom are requirements for the marriage to be valid.
Assalamu bros and sisters
what is the Islamic stand on the issue where the parents want to marry off their daughter ASAP but the daughter (a mature 22 year old) wants to wait ?
can the parents force their daughter to marry, even tho there's a good chance of her gettin married after a couple of years to a decent, practicing bro ?
is the gal using her Islamic right when she says no, i am not in the 'marriage-mode' i need time to prepare myself, is the gal right in stating so ?
jazakallah
dunno if this might help insha Allah
Dowries and forced marriages
There is no place in Islam for marriages arranged against a woman or mans will. This is something completely unacceptable in Islam. A marriage is invalid without the two parties' total agreement and consent. We can look at the case of Khunsâ', who's father married her off with her disapproval, so the Prophet may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, had her marriage annulled.
Regarding dowries, in Arabic "Mahar" this is given to a woman on the event of her wedding, this is something for the woman alone. Unlike the Hindu tradition of the arranged marriage with a woman's family receiving a large payment upon "handing over their daughter" no one has any right to any portion of it, neither her family, nor her husband. A woman may ask for whatever she wishes, whether it is money, jewellery etc. and if the man wishes to marry her, then he must give her the pre-agreed dowry of her choosing.
Allah said "O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them - except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it, a great deal of good."
A young woman complained to `A'ishah the wife of the Prophet Muhammad, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him saying: "My father married me to his brother's son in order to raise his social status. However, I hate it." When the Prophet, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, heard her complaint, he gave her the option of having the marriage annulled. She said: "O Messenger of Allah! I have accepted what my father has done. However, I wanted to know that women had a choice in the matter."
Then we have the story of Burayrah and her husband Mughîth. Both of them were slaves. When she acquired her freedom, she had the legal right of staying with her husband who was still a slave, or of leaving him. She chose to leave him and he began following after her, crying for her to return to him. The Prophet, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said to her: "If only you would go back to him." She asked, "O Messenger of Allah! Are you commanding me?" He said, "No I am only pleading on his behalf." She replied: "Then I have no use for him." And that was the end of the matter.
islamirama
21-06-06, 08:53 PM
A muslimah came to the prophet *S* and said that i was forced to marry this man by my father without my consent. The prophet *S* said you are free from this obligation and can choose someone you like. The woman said i'm happy with who my father has choosen for me, I asked because I wanted to see if we women have a say in who we get to marry.
Al-Irhaab
21-06-06, 11:53 PM
the sister is wrong for refusing to get married... she is 22 and should understand that in islam early marriage is reccomended... it is forbidden for the parents to force her to get married without her consent, it is not forbidden on them to pester her to get married .... there is a difference between the two situations... like for example alhamdulillah i have a sister and my bro has said to her that she will get married at around the age of inshallah 21 (i said 18 but my bro said is too early :rolleyes: ) so she dont like it but she knows she has to now but she will marry of her own consent ie whoever she is shown if she dont like the guy then she wont marry him...
kulazzi
01-08-06, 02:43 PM
to get married at a young age is only recommended in Islam.
When a couple is binded by marriage, they must realise the responsibilities they will have to face in marriage life.
If the sister does not feel comfortable and/or prepared to take take responsibility as a wife, then no, she doesn't have to. As dhakiyya said, consent is needed on both sides before the marriage proceeding can take place. And you yourself have said that there is a good chance of her getting married later on.
Al-Irhaab
09-08-06, 09:43 PM
to get married at a young age is only recommended in Islam.
When a couple is binded by marriage, they must realise the responsibilities they will have to face in marriage life.
If the sister does not feel comfortable and/or prepared to take take responsibility as a wife, then no, she doesn't have to. As dhakiyya said, consent is needed on both sides before the marriage proceeding can take place. And you yourself have said that there is a good chance of her getting married later on.
there is no such thing as ONLY RECCOMENDED... it is like saying it is ONLY fulfilling the advice of the prophet (SaW), it is ONLY doing as Allah (swT) said is best for a person...
in todays age the situation is that it a almost neccessity for people to get married young due to the ammount of fitnah and fassad they are exposed to...
consent it needed no doubt, but that does not mean the parents cannot pressure her to marry, it means that she has the right to accept or decline any person they wish her to marry...
the muslim sisters r too fussy nowadays
XxXmisbaahXxX
18-09-06, 10:17 PM
the muslim sisters r too fussy nowadays
not all da muslim sister r too fussy im 16 ann im wanna get married it has said thou that the parent cant force da child to get married and if they do den da marriage is not valid therefore she will be commitin adultry in islam and da parents will be gettin punished for this act
:salams
the muslim sisters r too fussy nowadays
It is advisable to be fussy when choosing a partner for life I say. Of course, we have guidelines in Islam regarding how to choose a good partner, but the decision to get married and to whom is a monumental one that should be thought over carefully.
Remember, a wife is for life :insha: :) If in doubt, you can always do Istikhara.
:salams
the sister is wrong for refusing to get married... she is 22 and should understand that in islam early marriage is reccomended... it is forbidden for the parents to force her to get married without her consent, it is not forbidden on them to pester her to get married .... there is a difference between the two situations... like for example alhamdulillah i have a sister and my bro has said to her that she will get married at around the age of inshallah 21 (i said 18 but my bro said is too early :rolleyes: ) so she dont like it but she knows she has to now but she will marry of her own consent ie whoever she is shown if she dont like the guy then she wont marry him...
Al Irhaab, are you saying that the prophet(SAW) is wrong in the hadeeth that Islamirama posted?
Your own words...recomended...this does not make it Fard
Al-Irhaab
20-09-06, 10:25 PM
Al Irhaab, are you saying that the prophet(SAW) is wrong in the hadeeth that Islamirama posted?
Your own words...recomended...this does not make it Fard
:rubeyes:
i dont see what i have said that goes against the hadith that islami rama quoted...
it is reccomended highly to marry... it becomes obligation if there is fear of fitnah etc...
it is forbidden to force your daughter to marry someone she doesnt want to and if you do so the woman has no obligation to stay married to that person...
it is NOT forbidden to pressure your daughter into marrying someone... meaning that a father can say to his daughter that she needs to get married but she can marry whoever she likes as long as he is good ...
do you see the difference between the two bro?
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