PDA

View Full Version : Dude, where's the Washing Machine?


cheeky
15-06-06, 06:10 PM
Dude, where's the Washing Machine?
by Talal Sarwani

There's a very interesting worldwide phenomena taking place among the Muslim youth of today. Everyone's favorite bit of Sunnah has become the advice of
the Prophet (SA'AS) to get married asap. Alhamdulillah, the wisdom of that
advice is nothing short of Divine, but the abuse of that advice is causing
much trouble in the Ummah today.

That trouble has manifested itself into the most hated of what is Halaal:
Talaq (Divorce). Kids are getting married right and left, lost in some
romanticized version of what married life seems to be about, and the second
they find themselves stuck in a mud of responsiblity, it's time to flip out
the cell phone and SMS your significant other:
*I divorce you. *
*I divorce you. *
*I divorce you.*
Indeed, it is a time of cowards. So I set out to investigate what was
causing this desperate desire for the Great Hookup. What did I find? Were
the beards really growin' and the brows left un-threaded? Were the kufis
being worn and the hijabs being tightened? Was the thawb and the 'abaya
truly being donned? Was the scent of 'oud aromafying the surroundings? Read
on, brothers and sisters, read on for the truth....

The number one danger towards the one who is single, is to be around those
who have newly become doubles. It's been referred to in the past as The
Fever. The Fever is not just the feeling that one needs to get hitched, it's
the malady that causes such feelings simply from having attended the
hitching ceremonies of all-too-many people in an all-too-short amount of
time. For proof of the existence of this syndrome, please go up to any
brother (though I claim to know their perspective as well, out of respect, I
shall take the Fifth as far as sisters are concerned) during the summer,
especially during this Summer of a Thousand Weddings. You'll hear the usual
talk of empty hearts needing companionship, of guys swooning over she who
looked back and if you're around one after someone else's wedding, a feeling
of slight dejection rather than complete happiness for his just betrothed
brother and sister.

The Fever is a powerful thing, taking over the life of he or she who is
stung by it, causing him or her to find themselves raising their hands to
Allah every night, asking for either the filling of their empty hearts or at
the very least a respite from their feelings. So, brothas and sistas, if you
find yourself in this most unwanted predicament, the prescription is as
follows:

*Step 1*: Lower your gaze
*Step 2*: Pray for the feeling to go away
*Step 3*: Lower your gaze
*Step 4*: Don't talk to others about your predicament (you'll realize
they're in the same hole, and then the both of you will wallow in each
other's misery)
*Step 5*: Lower your gaze Rinse. Spit. Repeat. InshaAllah The Fever should
soon subside and all will be back to normal.
HOWEVER, say the ol' heart sparks at the just barely-sighted-glance of a
certain someone, then be sure to follow the following steps. Now, keep in
mind this is the ONLY acceptable follow-up to that "cue the chorus" moment.
Consider this your final warning not to join certain committees of certain
organizations, "accidentally" finding certain someones sitting there.

BONUS:
*Step 6*: ISTIKHARA TIME!!!!!!!!
*Possible Step 7 for Brothers*: Be a Man. Call her parents.
*Possible Step 7 for Sisters*:Just sit there all coy and shy (I keed, I
keed).

This prescription is signed and endorsed by Shaykh (of the Polaroid Picture
kind) Ishq ibn Al-Hubbatani, so you better believe it works. There is
however a lot more that contributes to the I Think I Love You, Marry Me
syndrome plaguing the Ummah today. The majority of these causes rests in the
realm of what a brother once said: "Blame it on the Deen".

The Romantic Islam As a preface to what follows, let me say that this topic
includes far more than I can write about in this space, so I'm not gonna
cover anything... I mean everything. There's literally an incredible amount
of things that fall into The Romantic Islam, but I'll just touch upon these
two of varying extremes, to give you just a taste of what I mean.

I'm using the word romantic not in the sense of an ideal, but in the plain
old Qais/MajnuN/Romeo and their Lailas/Juliet sense. These are those bits
(according to the very doubtable research done for this) of Islam that when
people gain knowledge of them, at a certain time of their lives, in that
certain state of mind, all havoc lets loose, the hearts open up in need, and
the shaitaan is called in for playtime. You... complete... me... When Tom
Cruise uttered those words to his love in Jerry McGuire, the heart of every
woman in movie theaters around the world let out a collective sigh. If only
they knew what Muslimahs had already known for centuries, or at least what
they did, once, know.

I'm referring to the oft-repeated hadith of the Lone Hearted: *Narrated by
Anas, who reported that the Prophet(SA'AS) said: "When a man marries, he has
fulfilled half of his religion..."* We are the creations of a Creator who
knows our innards better than we know our names, so when we experience this
wisdom that has been passed down to us, our hearts yell: SUBHANALLAH!!! I
NEED to get married.
Let's just face it, this hadith makes everyone feel good about things, and
is among the greatest proliferators of Wandering Heart technology. Do note
the "...", because you rarely ever hear the rest of the hadith: "...so let
him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

*'Nuff said, yo. Fo schizzle. *

Sweet Nothings Ahem, the following is a very interesting tidbit. It's
something I gleaned from a brother in whom the desire to be wed was gnawing
at him from the inside. We were in a room with just pillows on the floor to
chill on. It of course happened to be a time of someone else's wedding,
which is why I just sat relaxing after a long night of partying with the
*cough*aunties*cough*.

So, this brother comes up to me, with a copy of Sahih Bukhari of all things,
and he prompts me to read: Volume 2, Book 21, Number 258: *Narrated 'Aisha :
After offering the Sunna of the Fajr prayer, the Prophet used to talk to me,
if I happened to be awake; otherwise he would lie down till the Iqama call
was proclaimed (for the Fajr prayer). *

"Alright", I thought, "so?".

He plopped himself down onto the floor, and with a bleary-eyed look, said:
*"Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone to talk to when you walk up a
little early for Fajr?". *

Let's just say he didn't take too kindly at me falling over from laughter
nor my suggestion that he could always give me a call anytime he feels
lonely at that hour. If you're in this state. brothers and sisters, please
follow the prescription given to you above, and inshaAllah spare the rest of
us from stomach-hurting hilarity.

The End of This Alas, all great things come to an end, as must this column.
I just barely touched upon what I really wanted to talk about, but my mind
is not in a state of organization, so I leave you with this little
conclusion. Realize that marriage isn't a joke or little fling you go
through. It's a responsibility, where the third party in the trust between a
husband and wife is Allah. All this talk of love and all that jazz is a
distraction, so pay little attention to it. There is ONE person for whom you
are meant, inshaAllah, so take care of your personal half of your deen, and
Allah will provide you with the best of companionship. Take the halaal way,
and you'll feel it yourself. The second the Nikah is done, the man and woman
are infused with a feeling of rahmah towards each other granted to them by
Allah. It's akin to that sudden mercy felt by one who has just become a
parent. It's not something you can understand beforehand.

There's lots of things in Islam that stir the hearts, but they are there to
convince you of the correctness of the Straight Path. Don't let the shaitaan
lead you astray when he discovers the state of your heart and mind. Seek
refuge and establish trust in Allah, for that is the only way to keep
yourself on the Sirat-Al-Mustaqeem.

Someone once questioned the hurried rush to marriage seen in the Ummah, and
couldn't understand how they took that step when they didn't even have a way
of supporting a family.

"When you're capable of getting her the washing machine, then you're ready
to begin a life together".

So, I humbly bow out, going back to saving a little every two weeks, so that
I can inshaAllah buy whatever washing machine her heart desires <-- sarcasm
alert for the troublemakers among you. If I offended anyone, forgive me,
inshaAllah. Oh, and to those souls who recently have been, or soon will be
paired back to those they were with in Fitra, our Du'as are with you.

May Allah grant you all the best in the Dunya and the Hereafter.. Ameen,
Ameen, Ya Rabbil 'Alameen.

Peace out, wa alaikum as salaam

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So what do you guys think?? [seen as Ummah.com seems to be full of people who are obsessed with marriage! lol]

Its a good read!

Ibn al-Mubarak
15-06-06, 06:23 PM
genius.

Ebony
15-06-06, 06:26 PM
:up:

This is the kind of stuff that needs drummed into the head of some people.

Bravo ~clap~

Brilliant.

Nawar
15-06-06, 07:07 PM
:up:, cool article.

striveforjannah
15-06-06, 10:53 PM
mashAllah this post is good.. the article makes alot of sense. Often i hear people wanting to get married, which isn't wrong.. but ofcourse you have to be able to support your family and wife.. so it takes alot of responsibility..

For waiting to long for marriage I disagree.. I heard of some sisters who had proposals and said "No" because they where still in university doing education.. Once the sisters reached the age of 28 or early 30's they had trouble getting married.. because finding people that age was difficult.. or not of their type.. Please forgive me if i hhurt anyones feelings..

Trusting Allah swt.. should come first and staying patient... if you have Men (non Mehram, or brothers who have non mehram sisters on their msn (messenger) List.. You should consider deleteing them just for the sake Of Allah swt... because their is no use people talk or converse with non mehrams.. and soo the whole WEstern mentality of *guys and girls* being friends doesnt Work in Islam.. there is no such thing..

ur_yusra
16-06-06, 03:39 PM
Dude.. wheres the washing machine..

Wheres the ironing board.. heck wheres the iron?

Wheres my six piece cutlery set?

Wheres the refridgerator? Wheres the freezer?

Wheres the four bedroom house? Wheres the car?

Wheres the dining table? Where are the sofas?

Wheres the bedroom cupboards?

Where is the Dysons vacuum?

:rolleyes:

Nawar
16-06-06, 07:03 PM
:rotfl:...yeh :p

and dont forget, details matter ukhtee, like if it aint a hotpoint washing machine :nono:

.: Anna :.
16-06-06, 08:30 PM
interesting article

bint
16-06-06, 09:28 PM
yup interesting indeed verrry:inlove:

MalikOne™
16-06-06, 10:40 PM
Its true marriage is a hype...but we all have that god given gift of being attracted to the opposite sex and people these days alhamdullilah want to outlet that desire ina halal way so of course they're wanting to get married. I think the writer is fronting a bit tbh, and plus ive seen Marriages work when the couple were young and without jobs it just means u have to find a job and balance your life...its not all that hard.

ur_yusra
16-06-06, 10:50 PM
Its a good article but I feel it doesnt give a real solution - rather it outlines the problem.

The fact is that divorce is far too common amongst the muslims and somewhere along the line it would be very nice to find a real solution to the dilemma.

I of course will blame the man :) while some would say it takes two to tango :rolleyes:

bint
16-06-06, 10:52 PM
Its a good article but I feel it doesnt give a real solution - rather it outlines the problem.

The fact is that divorce is far too common amongst the muslims and somewhere along the line it would be very nice to find a real solution to the dilemma.

I of course will blame the man :) while some would say it takes two to tango :rolleyes:

lmaoooo

yusra sis..when u said lol those words...

'two to tango'

i remembered the goooood ol days..mannn were they a laff:rotfl:

ahem sory.

ibn suleman
16-06-06, 11:01 PM
salaams

divorce.....

has anyone noticed how in the older generation - i.e our parents and grandparents there were a lot less divorces!!!

.....must be western culture thats causing the problem!!!!!:rolleyes:

the more and more marriages turn away from Islamic teachings, the higher and higher the divorce rates are going!

ur_yusra
16-06-06, 11:12 PM
salaams

divorce.....

has anyone noticed how in the older generation - i.e our parents and grandparents there were a lot less divorces!!!

.....must be western culture thats causing the problem!!!!!:rolleyes:

the more and more marriages turn away from Islamic teachings, the higher and higher the divorce rates are going!

I have to disagree with you there..

Divorce amongst practising people is actually common.

I know too many practising people who are divorced.

ibn suleman
17-06-06, 08:49 AM
Salaams

I have to disagree with you there..

Divorce amongst practising people is actually common.

I know too many practising people who are divorced.

fair point, but what i meant was the islamic teachings before and at weddings of a couple!

like when they meet for the first time i've seen many occurances of where the bride to be has her friend or sister sitting with them rather than their mahram, or where the couple are effectively dating after the so-called "engagement". or the spouse wasn't chosen because of their deen!

and then there are the problems at weddings which is another issue in itself,

they may be practising (which is a paradox in itself, but that's another topic), but did these things happen at their wedding? did they repent for their mistakes (if they made any)?

a marriage that starts off badly (i.e against Islamic teachings) is likely to fail!

if you look back at the weddings of a lot of couples who have divorced, u'll probably find something thats gone on contrary to islamic teachings at the time of the wedding.

(please note these are only my thoughts)

obviously there are going to be genuine cases of divorce, these happened at the time of the sahabah-the best of people, so they'll happen now definitely anyway

muslim_sis
28-06-06, 05:08 PM
hmm interesting read

Ebony
08-01-07, 02:38 PM
~bump

Al-Irhaab
08-01-07, 02:44 PM
the wasing machine is currently on order waiting to be delivered... unfortunately there has been a slight glitch in the delivery process due to some an apprarantly long waiting list because of extremely high demands... currently some pressure is being applied to reduce the waiting list inshallah and some zamzam has been used for use in the washing machine... machine still lacks appropriate cooking functions which will need to be rectifed upon or before delivery :D

Cristiana
08-01-07, 03:01 PM
Very inetersting.

I often thought that - although it was done to help young people avoiding a sin - people here on Ummah advise kids to get married too soon.

The fact that you have sexual instincts means that yuo are physiologically able to procreate...not that you can have a family and take care of it! (this btw applies to both brothers and sisters!).

It's a balance between resisting sin and not rushing into a marriage lightly...

May Allah guide us all:)

Nawar
08-01-07, 03:03 PM
Dude.. wheres the washing machine..

Wheres the ironing board.. heck wheres the iron?


:rolleyes:


:rotfl:

Lu'Lu
08-01-07, 03:14 PM
He plopped himself down onto the floor, and with a bleary-eyed look, said:
*"Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone to talk to when you walk up a
little early for Fajr?". *

LOL HAHAHAHAHAHA that made me laugh out loud. I honestly thought that only sisters were that bad, but brothers??!!!! Talk about reading into the hadith man...I mean...sisters can get like that reading a hadith about marriage, but this one was about fajr!!!:rofl1:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Quite cute actually when you think about it, didnt think brothers were into 'talking' as much ...:there: Awww...bless I hope he did find someone to talk to before fajr...

Rameez
08-01-07, 09:39 PM
wow that helped me so much! Jazakallah! :)