View Full Version : Muslim male marrying a woman of zoroastrian faith
l_ali_khan
14-06-06, 05:20 PM
A/S,
I am a 28 yr old muslim male reisiding in the US.
I am in love with a non-muslim woman of zoroastrian faith and intend to marry her. She loves me too and wants to marry me and is willing to be outcast by her people but will not abondon her religion or embrace Islam for me.
My options for marrying a woman of the muslim faith are through an arranged marriage.
I suffer from a disease which is in an initial stage and theres a good probability that I might not live for a real long time. I am looking at 20 years. Because of this no one will give away their daughter to me, and I do not want to spoil any girls life by not telling her before marriage.
GothiKa
14-06-06, 05:46 PM
Do not marry mushrik women till they believe in Islam.
If you suffer from a disease and feel that death is near, know that if you have been a good believer, Inshallah, you will get a pure companion in paradise.
I think a muslim sweeper is far better than a non muslim hero even though he or she may be seemingly alluring...
Love of ALLAH is muslim's first love
l_ali_khan
14-06-06, 06:07 PM
The girl that I am in love with has been very supportive about my illness and is willing to commit to me inspite of the risk.
What do I do here? I really love this girl but cannot marry her under Islam. Otherwise, I cannot marry anyone else.
What is the punishment under Islam for this sin, ie if I marry her??
Rayhana
14-06-06, 06:27 PM
Salam! I think the real punishment is that u dont love a muslim woman! I am not sure about the punishment, but its clear that u shouldnt for many reasons: were it not so - Allah would not told us not to... Anyways i wish u Allah may bless u with more love and knowledge!
GothiKa
14-06-06, 06:44 PM
The girl that I am in love with has been very supportive about my illness and is willing to commit to me inspite of the risk.
What do I do here? I really love this girl but cannot marry her under Islam. Otherwise, I cannot marry anyone else.
What is the punishment under Islam for this sin, ie if I marry her??
Now is the best chance to test your Iman
Do you want to violate Allah's law and marry an infidel woman? Or, do you want to wait for Allah to give you a better companion who will be a Muslim? Or, do you wish for the chaste females awaiting the true believers in Paradise?
Remember, Allah is testing you. Moreover, The Prophet(pbuh) said that a woman(not all women) can lead a believing man astray.
Be very careful.
islamirama
14-06-06, 07:44 PM
The girl that I am in love with has been very supportive about my illness and is willing to commit to me inspite of the risk.
What do I do here? I really love this girl but cannot marry her under Islam. Otherwise, I cannot marry anyone else.
What is the punishment under Islam for this sin, ie if I marry her??
Muslim man can marry a muslimah or people of the book provided she meets the criteria (chaste, good, etc). Marry a muskrik women and your marraige will be invalid, you'll be living in a state of zina (fornication) and your kids will be bastards. If you can't find the "normal" mulsims then look among the reverts who would be willing to marry you, get married now and have kids soon. In 20 yrs, they'll be old enough to take care their mom and themselves inshallah.
Don't do unislamic stuff and you wont' fall in love with opposite gender (this goes for everyone). Live according to islamic rules and guidelines and you won't have to worry about falling in love with anyone (not even a muslim) because you will limit your "socializing" with them within islamic limit, and wont' get to know them enough to fall for them or engage in further interaction expressing love, interests, what not to further the mutual feelings.
What is stated in this question is that the woman is “non-Muslim”. This may be understood as meaning that she is one of the people of the Book – i.e., Jewish or Christian – or it may be understood as meaning that she is something else – such as Buddhist, Zoroastrian or communist. If the woman who wants to marry a Muslim man is one of the people of the Book, there is no shar’i impediment to this marriage, so long as it fulfils the shar’i conditions, such as the requirement that she be chaste. But the Muslim husband should be keen to bring his wife into Islam so as to save her from eternity in the Fire and so that he and his children will have a home that is based on Islam.
But if the woman who wants to marry a Muslim man is not one of the people of the Book, then it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry her.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Ibn Katheer said:
Here Allaah forbids the believers to marry mushrik woman who worship idols, and if this were general in meaning, it would include every mushrik woman, whether she is of the people of the Book or is an idol worshipper, but the woman of the people of the Book are excluded from that in the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas concerning the words “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)”: Allaah excludes from that the women of the people of the Book. This was also the view of Mujahid, ‘Ikrimah, Sa’eed ibn Jubayr, Makhool, al-Hasan, al-Dahhaak, Zayd ibn Aslam, al-Rabee’ ibn Anas and others. And it was said that what is meant is the mushrikoon who worship idols, and it does not mean the people of the Book at all. This meaning is close to the first meaning. And Allaah knows best.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/474
Whilst noting that this is permissible, we should also remember that Islam encourages the Muslim man to marry a Muslim woman who is religiously committed, because the Muslim’s life with his wife is a complete and comprehensive life which involves chastity, lowering the gaze, and protecting and looking after the house and children. These and similar things cannot be achieved except with a religiously-committed wife.
See the answer to question no. 12283 (http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=12283&dgn=3); also the answer to question no 20227 (http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=20227&dgn=3), which gives more details on the bad consequences of marriage to a non-Muslims woman. In the answer to question no. 3320 (http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=3320&dgn=3) it states that it is not permissible to allow her to celebrate (non-Islamic) festivals inside or outside the home.
And Allaah knows best.
www.islam-qa.com
I think at the moment you really love this person and it's a big deal to you that she's willing to support you through an illness. It makes sense in a way that you like her because you would want to marry someone who would support you through hardship, but her refusal to accept Islam is very telling. Here are some issues you need to consider very carefully:
- It's most likely that in spite of the hardships, if you marry this woman, you would end up having a family with someone who refuses to accept Islam. This will have a significant impact on how they'd be brought up and I've seen it happen loads of times where guys marry Kufaar and how they cry years later when they see how the kids turn out.
- It's so easy to get wrapped up and fixated on a person, especially when you're in love, but ignore the hype, love is not the best foundation for a marriage. Look at Kufaar nations in general, they don't have arranged marriages, they almost always have love marriages and yet they have the highest divorce rates as well. Love aint all that ;)
- You are most likely concerned about your future and how your life will be for the next 20 years. What about the next 2000 years after that? The "future" in the context of the akhirah is a much bigger "long term commitment" than a 20 year marriage in this world. Can you risk facing that long term future with the displeasure of Allah (swt) to deal with?
I think the crux of this matter is not so much how close you are to her, but how seriously you take Islam yourself and how much you're willing to apply it in your own life.
Mikha’eel
22-06-06, 11:35 AM
- It's so easy to get wrapped up and fixated on a person, especially when you're in love, but ignore the hype, love is not the best foundation for a marriage. Look at Kufaar nations in general, they don't have arranged marriages, they almost always have love marriages and yet they have the highest divorce rates as well. Love aint all that ;)
I'm sorry but that is utter rubbish. Love is the reason why so many marraiges are sucessful in the western world. How-ever being a muslim women, you cannot exactly easily get a divorce without good reason can you?
How can one spend the rest of their lives with a person they do not even love? Do you expect to force yourself to love a person?
That seems like a rather miserable life wouldn't you say?
GothiKa
22-06-06, 11:53 AM
I'm sorry but that is utter rubbish.
You do a great job at disagreeing with muslims-almost all the time.
Love is the reason why so many marraiges are sucessful in the western world. How-ever being a muslim women, you cannot exactly easily get a divorce without good reason can you?
Arranged marriages are also successful. Albeit, it's my opinion, and I do not have the statistics uderpinning my claim as I don't venture into such minor issues. I am merely relying on my observations. But I can assure you that arranged marriages in my country, bangladesh, are common and blissfull.
As for the question you posed, I was listening to Aminah Asslimi's lecture in which she narrated a hadith: a woman, during the time of the Prophet(pbuh) divorced her husband simply because he was ugly. I suppose that should satisfy your question.
How can one spend the rest of their lives with a person they do not even love? Do you expect to force yourself to love a person?
That seems like a rather miserable life wouldn't you say?
works for most of the people in my country, and in India, pakistan, etc.etc.
Mikha’eel
22-06-06, 01:19 PM
GothiKa
You do a great job at disagreeing with muslims-almost all the time.
Thank you, i do my best- my soul purpose in life is to disagree with those that don't agree with me. its all about me.
As for the question you posed, I was listening to Aminah Asslimi's lecture in which she narrated a hadith: a woman, during the time of the Prophet(pbuh) divorced her husband simply because he was ugly. I suppose that should satisfy your question.
Well that is a silly reason to divorce someone. How-ever a person should have the right to choose whom they marry/
works for most of the people in my country, and in India, pakistan, etc.etc
Not for the poorer class of people. Those women are treated like slaves. hey aren't allowed to get an education. They are forced into marraige at a young age, to some delinquent they don't want to be with but what can the woman do? She refuses and she'll get beaten or killed.
Without love in marriage, you're better off not being married at all.
GothiKa
22-06-06, 01:29 PM
Thank you, i do my best- my soul purpose in life is to disagree with those that don't agree with me. its all about me.
By "those" you only mean the muslims? I know you have disagreed with sister neelu's statment, but the least you could have done is disagree in an affable manner.
Well that is a silly reason to divorce someone. How-ever a person should have the right to choose whom they marry/
Which is sanctioned by Islam-a woman cannot be forced into marriage. If that person would rather that her marriage is arranged, what's it to you? You make it sound like the concept is evil. BTW I take it that your question about women not being able to divorce freely is adequately answered.
Not for the poorer class of people. Those women are treated like slaves. hey aren't allowed to get an education. They are forced into marraige at a young age, to some delinquent they don't want to be with but what can the woman do? She refuses and she'll get beaten or killed.
Without love in marriage, you're better off not being married at all.
You have been watching too many hindi flicks. But I do agree with you to some extent. The activites you have mentioned occur mostly in the villages.
Thank you, i do my best- my soul purpose in life is to disagree with those that don't agree with me. its all about me.
That's the wrong purpose to live :p
You have been watching too many hindi flicks. But I do agree with you to some extent. The activites you have mentioned occur mostly in the villages.
LOL @ hindi flicks :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Mikha’eel
22-06-06, 03:10 PM
GothiKa
By "those" you only mean the muslims? I know you have disagreed with sister neelu's statment, but the least you could have done is disagree in an affable manner.
Yes, you are right, my apologies.
Which is sanctioned by Islam-a woman cannot be forced into marriage. If that person would rather that her marriage is arranged, what's it to you? You make it sound like the concept is evil. BTW I take it that your question about women not being able to divorce freely is adequately answered.
If a person wants an arranged marriage then thats fine. If a person chooses to do something of their own will, then so be it. But many don't even get a chance to refuse. Their parents arrange the marriage and thats it for the girl. She refuses and she'll get beaten till she accepts.
You have been watching too many hindi flicks. But I do agree with you to some extent. The activites you have mentioned occur mostly in the villages
I despise watching Hindi movies. They sicken me, especially the so called muslim actors that play hindu's and even fake pray to idols :torture: . All the music is just blah...story-lines are predictable. Give me a hollywood action flick anyday.
Village and tribal area's are just so backwards. How-ever they seem to be a majority rather then the minority, especially in the places such as pakistan/india and various muslim countries.
Umm Ibraheem
24-06-06, 01:10 AM
Asslamaoalikum,
Explain Islam to the Zorastian woman - show her the truth and explain it to it simply in terms she will understand. Introduce her to soft gentle muslims who are experts in the Dawah and understand the nature of people.
Research her religion and explain to her that worshipping fire is simply foolish. Our nature is to believe in a single creator and here are the proofs from the Quran -Mohammed and the mission of the propehts.
Be scientifc and rational and inshallah if she is open to Islam she will be come muslim.
DO NOT MARRY her until she converts. If she does not keep trying in the hope that she will but DO NOT MARRY her unless she accepts Islam. If she does not become muslim after significant effort she has failed the test and is not worthy of marrying you.
Inshallah Allah will give you someone better.
Walaikumasalam.
Love is the reason why so many marraiges are sucessful in the western world.
That's why such countries have the highest divorce rates in the world and the highest number of children born out of wedlock.:rolleyes:
Tristan
24-06-06, 11:27 PM
Marry her , love only comes once in a lifetime , don't worry , I think God if he exists is more merciful than punishing someone who loves....
God is Love.....
Voice~of~Song
24-06-06, 11:35 PM
You do a great job at disagreeing with muslims-almost all the time.
Arranged marriages are also successful. Albeit, it's my opinion, and I do not have the statistics uderpinning my claim as I don't venture into such minor issues. I am merely relying on my observations. But I can assure you that arranged marriages in my country, bangladesh, are common and blissfull.
As for the question you posed, I was listening to Aminah Asslimi's lecture in which she narrated a hadith: a woman, during the time of the Prophet(pbuh) divorced her husband simply because he was ugly. I suppose that should satisfy your question.
works for most of the people in my country, and in India, pakistan, etc.etc.
I dont know about that i cant tell nothing to this, but, if u did meant this woman was the one that Messengers adopted son married, i have to tell you that i can not imagine and i don't believe that the Messenger would have marry a woman with such ugly soul! ... Salam
Voice~of~Song
24-06-06, 11:47 PM
I'm sorry but that is utter rubbish. Love is the reason why so many marraiges are sucessful in the western world. How-ever being a muslim women, you cannot exactly easily get a divorce without good reason can you?
How can one spend the rest of their lives with a person they do not even love? Do you expect to force yourself to love a person?
That seems like a rather miserable life wouldn't you say?
Ofcourse u can, in Qur'an is an ajah that tells" exactely its better to arrange on these issues, so in marriage and other related relationships between men and women are women perfectly guided and guarden. :cool:
Mikha’eel
25-06-06, 11:38 AM
That's why such countries have the highest divorce rates in the world and the highest number of children born out of wedlock.:rolleyes:
The only reason its not the same in any Muslim country is because the women cannot divorce without a good reason. And not to mention what their families then say about the women.
Love is everything. Love is the basis of a good marriage. I'd rather be alone the rest of my life then live in a loveless marriage. Its obvious people here don't get it. After all, it is a western concept so it has to be rejected. :rolleyes:
Asslamaoalikum,
Research her religion and explain to her that worshipping fire is simply foolish. Our nature is to believe in a single creator
Ah yes... the best way to make someone convert is to insult his faith and showing your ignorance :up:
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoroastrianism:
Ahura Mazda is the beginning and the end, the creator of everything which can and cannot be seen, the Eternal, the Pure and the only Truth.
snip
...to worship a lesser divinity is to worship Ahura Mazda, since all the divinities are but a manifestation of the Creator.
Zoroastrianism is uniquely important in the history of religion because of its possible formative links to both Western Abrahamic and Eastern dharmic religious traditions.
"Zoroastrianism is the oldest of the revealed credal religions, and it has probably had more influence on mankind, directly or indirectly, than any other single faith... some of its leading doctrines were adopted by Judaism, Christianity and Islam". (Boyce, 1979, pg 1)
To me, a Muslim insulting Zoroaster is like a Christian insulting Mithras (a figure Jesus is based on) that is you are basically insulting yourself.
And boy oh boy, if you cannot accept and love her for what she is, trying to change -her-, questioning yourself whether she is good enough for you, then I think you are a jackass and really should be ashamed of yourself.
islamirama
25-06-06, 11:56 PM
The only reason its not the same in any Muslim country is because the women cannot divorce without a good reason. And not to mention what their families then say about the women.
Love is everything. Love is the basis of a good marriage. I'd rather be alone the rest of my life then live in a loveless marriage. Its obvious people here don't get it. After all, it is a western concept so it has to be rejected. :rolleyes:
How ignorantly foolish you are. Love is but a feeling, one of many human feels. Understanding, compromising and open communications are the basis of a good marriage. Ask any marriage counselor...
Love in Islam
ByAisha Tahira Stacey (http://www.islamonline.net/English/family/2004/10/article03.shtml#*)
01/11/2004
Coming from a Western or European background, we often equate love with the stereotypical images that we see in all forms of media. The pouting woman waiting breathlessly at home for husband to appear to “love her,” alternatively the career woman who throws off the shackles of the workforce to return breathlessly home to her waiting husband. Sex sells, and the print and visual media take advantage of this fact. Sex sells, and businesses in all corners of the world will do anything to make an extra dollar. Sex is not love, and the word ‘love’ has, unfortunately, lost much of its true meaning.
We drive to work past the giant billboards selling cars and clothes and laundry detergent. The billboards all have one thing in common a pouting woman who says with smoldering eyes “drive this car and attract women like me”; “wear this brand of clothes and women will want you more then the clothes.” We open the newspaper to see advertisements for exotic destinations; the people appear to be happy and “in love.” The television and movie screens tell us that if you consume this product you will be desirable, your husband or wife will “love you.” Drink brand X and fall in love, wear brand Y and have all fall in love with you.
This is not love, this is an advertising ploy. Marriages fall by the wayside because husbands and wives find that they cannot live up to the expectations that they impose on themselves and each other. The images are impossible to emulate simply because they are not real; they come from the minds of advertising executives, not from the natural order of our lives. Our senses are assaulted almost every waking moment by images of what the media feeds to us as a normal lifestyle. These images are not normal, and the lifestyles that they portray are in no way a reflection of how men and woman should live together in a normal, healthy relationship.
Islam, on the other hand, being the natural way for human beings to live, employs no trickery or gimmicks. Love in Islam brings men and woman together with strong bonds that tie couples together with the rope of Islam. [And hold fast all of you together, to the rope of Allah (i.e., this Qur’an), and be not divided among your selves, and remember Allahs favour on you] (Aal `Imran 3:103). A marriage based firmly and soundly on the Qur’an and the Sunnah should suffer none of the pangs of insecurity and subterfuge that abound in marriages whose role models are the pouting woman and muscle bound man found in all forms of media. Marriage in Islam is a contract between two people, a man and a woman, by which they agree to enter into a [halal] relationship for the sake of Allah Most High.
It is a relationship that binds them to each other through all the tests and trials of this life, through hardship and ease. [Verily along with every hardship is relief] (Ash-Sharh 94:6). It should be a relationship whose sole purpose is to worship, praise, and thank Allah Most High. If love—the tender blissful feeling of being in love—is present in this relationship, then it is an extra blessing from Allah.
Marriage in Islam is not based on whether we find our partner desirable or whether he or she contributes a great deal of money to the family. Marriage in Islam is a partnership. Two people, working as one unit. One unit striving for Jannah, longing to secure themselves a place in the shade of Allah. Love in Islam is a [halal] marriage secure in the knowledge that the wealth and adornments of this world are but illusions and that it is in the Hereafter that our real lives will begin.
[And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But far better is the house in the hereafter for those that are al-muttaqun (the pious). Will you not then understand?] (Al-An`Am 6:32)
If we examine our thoughts on love and marriage and endeavor to renew our intentions to have a marriage for the sake of Allah Most High, we will, , find that we are no longer blinded by the subtle advertising that invades our lives and eats away at our [iman]. Shaytan (Satan) works in devious and treacherous ways and loves nothing more then to put enmity between a husband and wife. His work is made easier by the fact that we are so easily deceived. Before we realize what is happening, the seeds of destruction have grown into an evil tree.
We begin to think and worry because our marriages are not what we see on the television or read about in the latest release novels. Our minds are invaded with thoughts that are contrary to the natural order of Islam and the universe, and our insecurities lead us to long for unattainable and unnecessary ideals in our lives and marriages. We have grown complacent in our commitment to our marriages and to our Islam, where as Shaytan is ever watchful and eager to guide us to the path that leads to nowhere but eternal Hellfire.
A marriage in Islam is about more than ‘love’; love in Islam is about more than tender feelings and smoldering sexual desires.
Through our commitment to Islam we should be able to return to an era where love and marriage are synonymous. Where a marriage is a partnership, a bonding of two people that, like ripples on water, moves ever steadily outwards to encompass the ideals of an Islamic community. The bonds of marriage should tie us to each other, to our families and children, to our brothers and sisters in Islam, to the worldwide Ummah. If we put our love for Allah first and our own desires last, then we should find ourselves in a relationship that no longer falls prey to the subterfuge of Shaytan. We should cling tightly to the rope of Islam and recognize the fact that life is not always sunshine and roses but that this [dunya] is a place of testing and tribulations. [Do people think they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested] (Al-`Ankabut 29:2). We should bear our tests with patience and gratitude, take refuge with Allah, and take comfort in the arms of our spouses.
[[I]And We will most certainly try you with somewhat of fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits; and give good news to the patient, Who, when a misfortune befalls them, say: Surely we are Allah's and to Him we shall surely return. Those are they on whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the followers of the right course.] (Al-Baqarah 2:155–157)
Aisha Tahira Stacey writes for Qatar daily publications the Times and The Penninsula. The author is currently working on a series of stories based on the lives of the Sahabas and a series of historical stories for children.
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