a young muslimaah seeking help...

[786Noor]

My dearest sisters,

I am a young muslimaah living in the west, and I am very interested on the idea of wearing hijab.
I wasn't a bad muslim before, but coming from a modern family, no one ever really explained to me of the importance of practicing Islam properly. I have three sisters and my mother, and neither of us wear hijab. When we moved to the west, I was very young, not even in school but my mother and three sisters wore headscarf and long coats but slowly it started to come off. Then soon we only started to take these small little scarfs and let them hang loosely over ourselves and they are useless rags just for an excuse!
A few years ago, my cousin has gotten married to a very pure and religious woman and she comes from a very religous family, and after spending so much time with her, and observing her with hijab and other sisters and learning more of our way of life, Islam, I have truly become inspired to become like them. I have even secretly bought all the hijabs and try them on secretly. Because if my mother finds out I'm having the ideas of starting hijab, she will be furious. She's been hinted about it a couple of times because she's treated me like a little child, sternly telling me 'Praying is enough in Islam', or 'If you start hijab, no one will marry you' and I know this is all wrong but she is after all my mother...how and when can I start hijab?
Also, she has also had the idea that I'm only trying to wear hijab b/c I am interested in my cousin's wife's older brother, because he wants to marry a hijabi. It is true he is a righteous man to marry and I admire him, and if it happens someday it would be a dream come true. But it is not like/love/lust/affection, just those silly thoughts of marriage, nothing serious!

How can I wear hijab with four other modern women in the house against it? How can I let my mother know I won't be just starting it because I'm trying to get married to this single man? I need serious help, my sisters don't mind much and just don't care and are silent about the idea, my dad doesn't mind it either and at times is enthusiastic towards it and he would not create a fuss. But it is my mother that is becoming stubborn about the idea and I don't want to start anything with her, but she is a very stubborn woman that can start giving nasty comments! And I think just to prevent me from wearing hijab, thinking I only want to do it to marry a man that wants a hijabi, she randomly told me once she doesn't like his family!!! :torture: PLEASE HELP! :confused: :rubeyes:

[islamirama]

:salams


The prophet Abrahab a.s. used to defeat the pagans with logic and reasoning alone. What you need is islamic knowledge inshallah so you have a weapon to combat (ignorance) when taking your mom on. Also, when it comes to adults its best to have alliances or allies that will back you up.

Inshallah the sisters here can give you lot of good advice sis. My advice is very simple. Read as much as you can on hijaab and it's obligation in islam and the punishment of not wearing such as you are disobeying Allah. Then share with your dad all that you learn and tell him about your feelings of how you want to be close to Allah and be a better Muslim and how you don't like the way your family has gone away from islam and all that, but do so in gentle words. Make him understand your position so that he will be able to stand up with you against your mom.

Then tell your sisters about islam and what islam says about this or that and how islam is a way of life and not certain tasks here and there. Your mom may not like this but this is a good opportunity to give her dawaah as a well inshallah. Also you can ask her strong questions like if she's a muslim and is the Quran book of Allah (word of Allah) and hence forth. once she confirms this then point the surahs in the Quran related to hijaab and as rhetorical questions like "aren't we disobeying Allah when He commands us this or that in the Quran?"

of course, this is a bit direct appoarch but inshallah hang in there and make duas. Other sisters will inshallah give you better advice perhaps thru personal experience or what not.



"And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful." (Surah Nur: 31)

Rasulullah S.A.W. said, "A women who reveals her body or even wears tight fitting clothes won't come within 500 years of the smell of Jannah."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that the following type of women constitute one of the categories of the dwellers of Hell: "Those women who seem naked even when dressed and those who walk flirtingly and those who plait their heads like the humps of camels, thus inviting people's attention, will not enter Paradise nor will they smell its fragrance even though its fragrance can be smelt from a very long distance." (Muslim).


And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils* all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.

More on Hijab:
http://www.minhajsisters.com/home/articles/index.minhaj?id=10&e=1136245827

(http://www.minhajsisters.com/home/articles/index.minhaj?id=10&e=1136245827)

[THC]

ASALAMU ALAIKUM

If you do not mind me asking how old are you?

[1 ummah]

Assalamu Alaikum,

As islamirama said, use ur Islamic knowledge as ur weapon, and Allah will help u. Don't worry because this is a test from Allah swt, and He wants to see how u respond to it. My advice is just wear the hijaab when u go out, if ur mum notices, let her say what she wants, and Inshallah u'll be able to respond to her. If she remains persistant, then let ur deen come first. Yes, we must obey our parents, but not when they do not allow is to practise our religious duty as women. But don't make it like, "Mum, I've decided to wear a hijaab and I don't care what u think".. as I said, just wear it and see what happens..explain to her nicely.. and may Allah keep u strong in ur faith, and not allow anyone to get in ur way :)

[truth786]

" And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts from sin and not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent, and draw their headcovers over their necks and bosoms and not reveal their adornment except to And that they should not I strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And 0 you Believers! Turn you all together towards Allah in repentence that you may be successful." (24:31)

Surah An-Nur spells out specifically the commands concerning the fact that a woman's natural beauty and her adornments are to be concealed from strangers.

Allah says: "0 Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their outer garments above themselves ( when they go out). That is better so that they may be recognized and not molested. And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (33:59)

Abu Dawood narrates that Aishah (raa) said: " Asma'a the daughter of Abu Bakr (raa) came to see the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) wearing a thin dress; so Allah's Messenger (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) turned away from her and said: "0 Asma'a, once a woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen but this -and he pointed to his face and hands."

[786Noor]

I'm starting high school this september. so...I'm fourteen..

Thank you for all your help sisters! I truly appreciate how we're always there for each other! I wasn't expecting a reply for days and just now I've gotten much help. But what about she thinking I'm only starting hijab b/c she thinks I like someone that wants a hijabi, and the whole family and relatives will think that. How do I deal with that?! It'll be awful if people backbite me for something I'm not rven doing hijab for!!!

[sisterKhadija]

I'm starting high school this september. so...I'm fourteen..

Thank you for all your help sisters! I truly appreciate how we're always there for each other! I wasn't expecting a reply for days and just now I've gotten much help. But what about she thinking I'm only starting hijab b/c she thinks I like someone that wants a hijabi, and the whole family and relatives will think that. How do I deal with that?! It'll be awful if people backbite me for something I'm not rven doing hijab for!!!

Assalaam alakium Sister,

I would open the Quran and show them the proof that you are doing it for Allah. Then tell them think what ever you want, but just becuase you think that doesn't make it the right answer. Allah knows my intentions and as long as he and I know the truth that is all that matters. Tell them also, what is wrong with a Brother wanting a Hijabi? Then I will have a pious Husband and a blessed family from Allah, InshaAllah.

Tell them obviously you are too young for marriage now, but you want to perfect yourself and your deen before you have a Husband and children to take of later.

Tell them, of all people, my Family should be supporting me.

Salaam,
SisterKhadija

[786Noor]

thank you for the help and advice sisters! I have been really encouraged to stay strong and just do this for allah s.w.t.!!!