Second Wife

[*muslim*]

Which case could a muslim have second wife?:confused:

[TEH]

To avoid adultery...

[icarrim]

it is easy for many to use this reason, especially the perverts and they are many .Is this really the reason?

[ur_yusra]

He doesnt have to have a reason..

There is no criteria..

If he wants more then one.. then he must be able to treat them with justice.. as long as he is able to comply with this.. then he can have up to four.

[icarrim]

Allah s.t. is All knowing,Omniscient and finally it is He Only who knows whether the candidate for polygamy (2,3 or 4) can comply,despite the claim of the latter.

[CheifJunior]

Allah knows best.

But i personally think its apllicable when there are more women than men, and its a time where war has just taken place and finished i.e. iraq and asghanistan and chechnya etc. and there are a lot of widows who without any care may end up in serious life threatening situations. That is when i would think marrying multiple wives comes into action. Where you marry 3 more widows to take care of them financially and otherwise and to be just with each one.

But thats just my opinion. Allah knows best because as the others here have mentioned there is no criteria. But i would think taking on 3 wives and not being just and fair with each one? that alone can be you hell ticket so i would be careful, only go into that when you think you are capable of handling them: :)

[Tahiyah]

a man is allowed to take a second wife for the same reasons he took his first wife

[TEH]

it is easy for many to use this reason, especially the perverts and they are many .Is this really the reason?

Yes, because so many Muslims are perverts arnt they... :eek:

[ur_yusra]

Yes, because so many Muslims are perverts arnt they... :eek:

Well.. unfortunately.. if your a female and you go to any arab country..

You may find that that is the case.. :S

[TEH]

Hey, dont leave out the desis, they are just as bad...if not worse...

And yes, thats why you wear hijaab.. :hidban:

[ur_yusra]

Hey, dont leave out the desis, they are just as bad...if not worse...

And yes, thats why you wear hijaab.. :hidban:

yeh true..

another pointer.. alot of times people get more attention when they wear the hijab..

sorry .. but its true.. :S

[TEH]

...and? They can stare...but they got nothing to look at...

Oh, and thats why you keep a stun gun with you, you never know when your husband will bring up the second wife...or if he really is a cheeky sod, second, third and fourth at the same time... :eek:

[MalikOne™]

Do u believe it is possible to marry more than one woman and love them equally? I can understand how a man can treat them equally, provide for them equally, spend time with them equally but isit possible to love them equally?

[puella]

Do u believe it is possible to marry more than one woman and love them equally? I can understand how a man can treat them equally, provide for them equally, spend time with them equally but isit possible to love them equally?

mashaAllah, i am impressed...a very good question bro :up:

[Abu Mus'ab]

I Dont Know About That But Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala Says In The Quran,

"Allah has not made for any man two hearts within him"

And Some Mufassireen Has Said That This Means That A Man Cant Love All His Wives Exactly The Same.

[SoulAsylum]

Simple answer - NO.

[puella]

Simple answer - NO.

sorry, my apologies, but are you a brother?

[MalikOne™]

This brings me ta another question, If you love one wife more than the other your bound to treat her differentley right? Or spend more time with her? So can normal men truely do justice between thier wives?

[Abu Mus'ab]

sorry, my apologies, but are you a brother?

Yes He Is A Brother.

[puella]

If you love one wife more than the other your bound to treat her differentley right? Or spend more time with her?

not intentionally though would you...especially if you fear Allah, you would try your upmost to be eaual

(have i accidentally tripped into the brothers section here?)

[SoulAsylum]

Yes He Is A Brother.

Thanks bro :up:

[SoulAsylum]

This brings me ta another question, If you love one wife more than the other your bound to treat her differentley right? Or spend more time with her? So can normal men truely do justice between thier wives?

They can.......whatever time you spend with one wife ur supposed to spend with the other wife, same goes for materially. What you spend on one wife your supposed to spend on the other wife.

But in terms of how much you love each one of your wives in your heart thats another ball game. Love in the heart can not be mesured.

[puella]

They can.......whatever time you spend with one wife ur supposed to spend with the other wife, same goes for materially. What you spend on one wife your supposed to spend on the other wife.


i think MO is echoing the feelings and emotions of the heart rather than the mind...which understandably is more complex

[MalikOne™]

i think MO is echoing the feelings and emotions of the heart rather than the mind...which understandably is more complex

Yep

Real strong imaan is needed to practise polygamy successfully (and a real big wallet :p )

[Al-Irhaab]

This brings me ta another question, If you love one wife more than the other your bound to treat her differentley right? Or spend more time with her? So can normal men truely do justice between thier wives?

u trying to impress some sister or something :rolleyes:

prophet (saw) loved aisha (ra) more then his other wives who were alive yet he treated them all equally...

its haram to treat ur kids unequally aswell yet you will always love one more then the other etc.... :D but no one says its forbidden to have more then one kid :rolleyes:

[ur_yusra]

yeh spot on eeman is the key.. taqwa is vital..

For it is your fear of Allah (swt) that will make you part from the wife you love more..(when your time with her is over) to go to the wife you love less.. nothing else..

[MMS]

Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (4:129)

[puella]

Yep

Real strong imaan is needed to practise polygamy successfully (and a real big wallet :p )


Spot on there brother!...and the strong imaan means that the women also need to support the husband...just like you cannot have a roof without the four walls of a house supporting it ...you cannot have a successful polygamous marraige if all wives do not support the husband

[.: Anna :.]

u trying to impress some sister or something :rolleyes:

prophet (saw) loved aisha (ra) more then his other wives who were alive yet he treated them all equally...

its haram to treat ur kids unequally aswell yet you will always love one more then the other etc.... :D but no one says its forbidden to have more then one kid :rolleyes:I noticed it always seems to be the dad who takes one as their fave kid. The mums love equally but some fathers prefer one and they make it sooo obvious :rolleyes:

Not my dad though :D

[MalikOne™]

u trying to impress some sister or something :rolleyes:

prophet (saw) loved aisha (ra) more then his other wives who were alive yet he treated them all equally...

its haram to treat ur kids unequally aswell yet you will always love one more then the other etc.... :D but no one says its forbidden to have more then one kid :rolleyes:

lol man ask a simple question and my intentions get attacked :rolleyes:

My dad loves my lil sista more than me :crying: she has him wrapped around her finger...I dont :crying: (I wish I did :p)

[puella]

lol man ask a simple question and my intentions get attacked :rolleyes:

My dad loves my lil sista more than me :crying: she has him wrapped around her finger...I dont :crying: (I wish I did :p)

daughters always get ttheir dads wrapped aorund their little fingers...its the norm...and dad is tough with you because he doesnt wantyo to turn into a nancy boy type thing...keep you toughned up...but i am sure he loves you just as much...and hey bet your mum showeres you with attention...if not hten you hav Al-Irhaab!

[Rayhana]

Assalamu aleyqum! I dont care if he would love me if he dont respect me.. besides that i would not stand one word of love from any of this kind of person. :)

[MalikOne™]

daughters always get ttheir dads wrapped aorund their little fingers...its the norm...and dad is tough with you because he doesnt wantyo to turn into a nancy boy type thing...keep you toughned up...but i am sure he loves you just as much...and hey bet your mum showeres you with attention...if not hten you hav Al-Irhaab!

2 b perfectly honest ma dad isnt tough wit me anymore as a lil kid yer...but now I have alot more freewill

Yer my mama showers me wit too much attention thas tha problem :p

Assalamu aleyqum! I dont care if he would love me if he dont respect me.. besides that i would not stand one word of love from any of this kind of person. :)

wasalaam

Come again? :rubeyes:

what kind of person? :rubeyes:

[Rayhana]

Salam again! :) I thought this topic is about the feelings, so, i meant it this way :) ... any person who dont bring me respect, enough as there should be in the according relationship : dont have to feel for me "love"! It doesn't weight it out. So : respect first! 1. ! Maa'salam

[NotOverYet]

i don't think if there is any case that allows you to have a BF or GF.
please don't interprete AHkaam according to the western values.
having a gf or bf itself gives you a step closer to adultary. to avoide that, do nikah. nothing more, nothing less. otherwise you would be from the biggest sinners

[NotOverYet]

Do u believe it is possible to marry more than one woman and love them equally? I can understand how a man can treat them equally, provide for them equally, spend time with them equally but isit possible to love them equally?

well, loving of course you cannot more than one, because that is not in your hands. if we look at the Seerah of Muhammad SAS, we find out that He SAS loved 'Aisha more than others, but HE SAS was equal to all.
so if love one of them then this never gives an excuse to not be equal to all in each terms.

[alld]

Logic and rationale demands that in order to solve bigger problem we may have to endure lesser problems as can be seen in case of deseases and ailments.
It is natural that first wife can not welcome second wife ( Sautan) in her life.
Herein lies sacrifice by sisters.
women's sacrifice helps solve many bigger problem like over population of females.... prostitution .., many other social evils.
polygyny solves many bigger problems.

[NotOverYet]

Which case could a muslim have second wife?:confused:

at any case.

[Abu Mus'ab]

This brings me ta another question, If you love one wife more than the other your bound to treat her differentley right? Or spend more time with her? So can normal men truely do justice between thier wives?

Let Me Try To Explain This In A Simple Manner,

Question: Who Was The Person Who Had The Most Wives?

Answer: Hazrat Muhammad sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

Question: Who Was The Most Fair And Did The Most Justice To All His Wives?

Answer: Hazrat Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

Now Ask Yourself The Question Which Of The Wives Of Hazrat Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam Narrated The Most Hadith?

Answer: Hazrat Ayesha Radiallahu Ta'aala Anha

Which Shows You What?

Answer: It Shows You That Hazrat Muhammad Sallalalhu Alayhi Wa Sallam Spent More Time By Hazrat Ayesha Radiallahu Ta'aala Anha Then By Any Of His Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam's Other Wives.

And Also Look At The Ayah Posted By Ukhti "MMS" ,

Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (4:129)

1: Shows You Can Never Treat Them All The Same.

2: Tells You Dont Abandon Your Wives But Treat Them Justly Then There Is No Problem.

3: Which Tells You Treat Them Properly And Do Not Mistreat Them.

[MalikOne™]

Yeh I had gathered what you said above after my question was posed but :jkk: neway

[ur_yusra]

at any case.

No offence intended.. just a comment.. why do you have to have a persons face on your avator.. ??

[NotOverYet]

that is me/myself. why should i have someone else's?

[NotOverYet]

Let Me Try To Explain This In A Simple Manner,

Question: Who Was The Person Who Had The Most Wives?

Answer: Hazrat Muhammad sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

Question: Who Was The Most Fair And Did The Most Justice To All His Wives?

Answer: Hazrat Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

Now Ask Yourself The Question Which Of The Wives Of Hazrat Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam Narrated The Most Hadith?

Answer: Hazrat Ayesha Radiallahu Ta'aala Anha

Which Shows You What?

Answer: It Shows You That Hazrat Muhammad Sallalalhu Alayhi Wa Sallam Spent More Time By Hazrat Ayesha Radiallahu Ta'aala Anha Then By Any Of His Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam's Other Wives.

And Also Look At The Ayah Posted By Ukhti "MMS" ,

Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (4:129)

1: Shows You Can Never Treat Them All The Same.

2: Tells You Dont Abandon Your Wives But Treat Them Justly Then There Is No Problem.

3: Which Tells You Treat Them Properly And Do Not Mistreat Them.

No NO NO! he (SAS) didn't spend more time with her (RA) than others! If the Ahadeeth was narrated that is something else. but yes revelations were mostly on the night which was her RA turn. do you know what her RA turn means? it means that Muhammad SAS never went against the schedule. he SAS was spending keeping the equality, and spending the nights were according to the turns.
But yes, he SAS was loving her more than others.

[ur_yusra]

that is me/myself. why should i have someone else's?

Why can't you have a pic of something else.. do you really want the whole world to see what you look like.. Imagine if your worst enemy joined the forum.. they'd know who you were..

very bizarre.. :rolleyes:

[bint]

Why can't you have a pic of something else.. do you really want the whole world to see what you look like.. Imagine if your worst enemy joined the forum.. they'd know who you were..

very bizarre.. :rolleyes:


orrr...:D ?????????

ur yusrah makes sense eh? loool..:eek3:

seriously bro...u shudnt display pics of ureself..:nono:i mean..there may be girls on here that may just fall for ure looks :nuts: :outta:orr maybe even guys :nervous:

[ur_yusra]

orrr...:D ?????????

ur yusrah makes sense eh? loool..:eek3:

seriously bro...u shudnt display pics of ureself..:nono:i mean..there may be girls on here that may just fall for ure looks :nuts: :outta:orr maybe even guys :nervous:

lol.. no seriously.. :p

It should be against the rules to have a pic of yourself on your avator..

[bint]

lol.. no seriously.. :p

It should be against the rules to have a pic of yourself on your avator..

see tut someone agrees with me..cmon guys girls are dangerous:mujahida: :boom: :badguy: :bang: look after ureself..looool.

[Al-Irhaab]

the prophet (saw) did spend more time with aisha (ra) ... the reason being that some of the prophet (saW) wives forfeited their time to aisha (Ra) in order to please the prophet (saW) as they knew she was his most beloved... mashallah can u imagine that a wife actually saying to her husband the time you spend with me spend with her instead because i know you have the msot love for her :inlove: the wives of the prophet (SaW) were indeed examples for all women

[Al-ghurabah]

Has Any Brothers Here Married More Than Once?????????

[NotOverYet]

orrr...:D ?????????

ur yusrah makes sense eh? loool..:eek3:

seriously bro...u shudnt display pics of ureself..:nono:i mean..there may be girls on here that may just fall for ure looks :nuts: :outta:orr maybe even guys :nervous:
hahaha, ok ok, i will remove it. however regarding my enemies knowing me? they already do! i don't wanna say it, but i would like you people to know that i am not someone who comes to internet just calm his/her emotions down this way. I am doing a lot more here, that is why my name cannot hide anywhere. this is a gift from my lord Almighty that has given me the love, passion, energy and time (and a littllllllllllle piece of knowledge) for the deen, Alhamdulillah. now if i do it the other way (not by gun) that is something else, and i might have some reasons for it, however....
anyhow from now on i will remove it inshaAllah, although I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THE GIRLS WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MOST UGLIEST PERSON OF THE WORLD (me).

[NotOverYet]

Has Any Brothers Here Married More Than Once?????????
i haven't even once :(

[muslimah85]

Do u believe it is possible to marry more than one woman and love them equally? I can understand how a man can treat them equally, provide for them equally, spend time with them equally but isit possible to love them equally?
no you never really could ever love two women equally.

Im not defininate or sure but didnt the prophet love Aisha slightly more then the other wives? again im not 100% sure.

[Al-ghurabah]

ok.. this problem or issue exist with alot of musilmahs in this country.. they have been bought up with all the feminist ideas and this countries culture that most do not like the idea..
i know its natural to get jelous.. but its also sunnah. do not dislike something which was done by the prophet.. its a recomended act.. but also has conditions attached to it..

[NotOverYet]

Why can't you have a pic of something else.. do you really want the whole world to see what you look like.. Imagine if your worst enemy joined the forum.. they'd know who you were..

very bizarre.. :rolleyes:
the pic in your avator is like a shrine. isn't it? if so, then YOU have to drop it out. that is prohibited!

[Al-Irhaab]

the pic in your avator is like a shrine. isn't it? if so, then YOU have to drop it out. that is prohibited!

masjid al aqsa is a shrine :wacko:

[ummbilal]

I came to this thread to read what i thought would be intelligent conversation and find its mostly the wafflings of fools, & a few sane ones trying to educate the fools,

mashallah a man marries a wife whether 1st 2nd etc.. because he is attracted to her, he loves her love of Allah and he loves women.

islam came and limited the number of wives a man can have, yes i said LIMITED, men alover the world have more than one wife of all religions, some men dont give these women wife status eg mistresses and girlfriends, Islam gives a woman respect and honor,

now how many kufr women are in the new s this week saying their husband cheated on them or how many MP's have been "caught" with their mistress????

Now doesnt Islam make more sense?????

Mashallah Allah guide us all.

[muslim_sis]

I came to this thread to read what i thought would be intelligent conversation and find its mostly the wafflings of fools, & a few sane ones trying to educate the fools,

mashallah a man marries a wife whether 1st 2nd etc.. because he is attracted to her, he loves her love of Allah and he loves women.

islam came and limited the number of wives a man can have, yes i said LIMITED, men alover the world have more than one wife of all religions, some men dont give these women wife status eg mistresses and girlfriends, Islam gives a woman respect and honor,

now how many kufr women are in the new s this week saying their husband cheated on them or how many MP's have been "caught" with their mistress????

Now doesnt Islam make more sense?????

Mashallah Allah guide us all.

yes thats very true, but he has to be financially stable , unfortunately , some muslim men cant even look after their first wife, let alone have another one ... in the quran it says it is a mans right to have 2,3 or 4, but at the end of the ayah , it says which of them can be just and treat them equally (not word for word,but its surah an nisaa,first couple of ayat)

Allahu alam , but Islam has its balances

[NotOverYet]

I came to this thread to read what i thought would be intelligent conversation and find its mostly the wafflings of fools, & a few sane ones trying to educate the fools,

mashallah a man marries a wife whether 1st 2nd etc.. because he is attracted to her, he loves her love of Allah and he loves women.

islam came and limited the number of wives a man can have, yes i said LIMITED, men alover the world have more than one wife of all religions, some men dont give these women wife status eg mistresses and girlfriends, Islam gives a woman respect and honor,

now how many kufr women are in the new s this week saying their husband cheated on them or how many MP's have been "caught" with their mistress????

Now doesnt Islam make more sense?????

Mashallah Allah guide us all.
Dear Sister in Islam;
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho
I don't think so if we are allowed to use a bad tongue even to a Kafir!
we are not allowed to do any kind of personal attacks, therefore your Muslim brother would respectfully request you to not use such words anymore, because all of us almost really hurt by whatever is going on, so one another Muslim is doing this to us, then....
so please....
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho

[NotOverYet]

yes thats very true, but he has to be financially stable , unfortunately , some muslim men cant even look after their first wife, let alone have another one ... in the quran it says it is a mans right to have 2,3 or 4, but at the end of the ayah , it says which of them can be just and treat them equally (not word for word,but its surah an nisaa,first couple of ayat)

Allahu alam , but Islam has its balances
Dear Sister in Islam;
could you please tell me over here, if in that Ayah it is said that the Condition for the second marraige is keeping equality?
As far as I know, it is not condition, rather it is an obligation (Fardh)!
if the condition was so, then the men could not get married for the second time, if he was not able to do so. however if it is an obligation, then it means that the men is obligated for doing so, it never means he cannot do this nikah if he cannot keep the equality. he just would be sinful if he could not. do you get my point?

we should drop out the western values that we have in our minds and then we go analysing Islam with that method. Islam has its own method of thinking and we should follow that!
the problem is that we use the scientific method of thinkings even in Fiqhi aHkaam!
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho

[muslim_sis]

Dear Sister in Islam;
could you please tell me over here, if in that Ayah it is said that the Condition for the second marraige is keeping equality?
As far as I know, it is not condition, rather it is an obligation (Fardh)!
if the condition was so, then the men could not get married for the second time, if he was not able to do so. however if it is an obligation, then it means that the men is obligated for doing so, it never means he cannot do this nikah if he cannot keep the equality. he just would be sinful if he could not. do you get my point?

we should drop out the western values that we have in our minds and then we go analysing Islam with that method. Islam has its own method of thinking and we should follow that!
the problem is that we use the scientific method of thinkings even in Fiqhi aHkaam!
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho

brother , these are not western views i have. Alhamdulilah i am happy with the religion i choose , al islam , but when people mis-use it , then it gets upsetting ... u should read into these things before making such statements ... i did not condemn polygamy , islam allows it , but we shouldn't abuse this ! (which many men do!!!)

it is not an obligation to have four wives, it is not fardh.Yes it is a sunnah of the prophet (saw) but not fardh ! and yes it is a right upon a man , but it is between him and allah , if he has taqwah,he will fear that he will do injustice , which of you brothers can treat your wives 2,3 or 4 as equally as the prophet did , none of you !

surah an nisaa (4) , ayah 3 : ''and if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls,then marry (other) women of your choice,two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) , then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice''

and so we see there are conditions in order for a man to have more than one wife ... he should be able to treat them equally ! and how can you deny that he wont have to be financially stable ... you think its wonder land , where you know ''everythings gonna be alright'' ... im sorry , but it is just greed when men marry more than one wife without being able to look after the first effectively ! ... you seriously think a man can just go and marry another wife without taking into account hadeeth :

''feed her when you feed yourself,clothe her when you clothe yourself,do not beat her on the face,do not use hurtful language to her,and do not leave her except in the home''

again , i am not saying i am against it , but , you cant just see a few words and get excited about it - look into it , what does it mean , what are the conditions,what does allah say , what does the prophet say ... subhanallah !

[aurorascopic]

there are some really useful quotes from hadith and quran on this forum that i havent actually read before and ive saved them all :| lol

where i live, (in west yorkshire in england) theres been this new 'trend' amongst the older men like about 30-50's mybe even older where..they're all getting second wives. these men already have children who have grown up at university some even married! and now..theyre all going off, one country in particulare may i mention, Morocco, and getting themselves more wives and also let me tell you- the first wives who are now old who have had like 4, 5 kids theyre not happy but when u talk to them they reply you with 'we've got no choice..look at us..its not like we can divorce and someone will want to marry us..' and i know of many cases in my home town where women have gone into depression and its really sad! this is a MAJOR issue in our town and its spreading throughout the Indian/ asian community in neighbouring cities! and the men, their replies are 'islam allows four wives :|' and its like they dont understand the conditions that go with it, seriously they should come on ummah and read these threads- even the YOUTH who are supposed to be 'naive' know better than these grown men. and let me shock you even more they are ALIMS and IMAMS and MOULANAS! they're all going in groups of 10 for 'trips' to Morocco, Egypts became the new hot spot too and they all come back married..it's destroying families...its DESTROYED families actually astagfirullah and it's getting out of hand. plus because the moulanas are doing it, the normal uneducated average ali kinda guys are following them.
im sorry if im just waffling on here but it hurts me so much because i know alot of these women, people ive lived with in my home town and its just not right how the men are manipulating islam.

[bint]

lemme guess...dewsbury?

hmm weird...but whats wrong with thm getting married sexcond tym? its allowed in islam...but these men shud tell their wives that they are getting married again. sad cases!:torture:

[aurorascopic]

lemme guess...dewsbury?

hmm weird...but whats wrong with thm getting married sexcond tym? its allowed in islam...but these men shud tell their wives that they are getting married again. sad cases!:torture:

not dewsbury but round there yeah. and whats wrong!? the women dont want them to get married..isnt the nikaah haraam if u dont have permission from the first wife? they're supposed to treat both wives equally..you call making the first wife going into depression equal treatment??? and the wives have no say and no option but to just let them have other wives..i think from an outide perception it's hard to be sympathetic but when you know these women and you talk to them and they tell you of their sorrows and how they feel like theyve got nothing left to live for..it really hurts you..

[ninja]

man thats sad..:crying:

[muslim_sis]

there are some really useful quotes from hadith and quran on this forum that i havent actually read before and ive saved them all :| lol

where i live, (in west yorkshire in england) theres been this new 'trend' amongst the older men like about 30-50's mybe even older where..they're all getting second wives. these men already have children who have grown up at university some even married! and now..theyre all going off, one country in particulare may i mention, Morocco, and getting themselves more wives and also let me tell you- the first wives who are now old who have had like 4, 5 kids theyre not happy but when u talk to them they reply you with 'we've got no choice..look at us..its not like we can divorce and someone will want to marry us..' and i know of many cases in my home town where women have gone into depression and its really sad! this is a MAJOR issue in our town and its spreading throughout the Indian/ asian community in neighbouring cities! and the men, their replies are 'islam allows four wives :|' and its like they dont understand the conditions that go with it, seriously they should come on ummah and read these threads- even the YOUTH who are supposed to be 'naive' know better than these grown men. and let me shock you even more they are ALIMS and IMAMS and MOULANAS! they're all going in groups of 10 for 'trips' to Morocco, Egypts became the new hot spot too and they all come back married..it's destroying families...its DESTROYED families actually astagfirullah and it's getting out of hand. plus because the moulanas are doing it, the normal uneducated average ali kinda guys are following them.
im sorry if im just waffling on here but it hurts me so much because i know alot of these women, people ive lived with in my home town and its just not right how the men are manipulating islam.
i totally see where ur coming from
... its not the idea of having a second wife thats sad (with the way islam has prescribed it),but its the way people pick and choose from the sunnah , like we are fatwa shopping or sumin ,basically choosing what suits them and their desires, and not following the correct rules (in regards to roles ,responsibility etc and most of all obdiance towards allah). islam is complete and has the answers for eveything , its the ignorance that makes this ''taking only what u like'' acceptable...

[aurorascopic]

i totally see where ur coming from
... its not the idea of having a second wife thats sad (with the way islam has prescribed it),but its the way people pick and choose from the sunnah , like we are fatwa shopping or sumin ,basically choosing what suits them and their desires, and not following the correct rules (in regards to roles ,responsibility etc and most of all obdiance towards allah). islam is complete and has the answers for eveything , its the ignorance that makes this ''taking only what u like'' acceptable...

exactly! but ok you have people trying to justify music like rap 'oh the lyrics are meaningful' or people trying to justify not wearing jilbab and only headscarf etc but this is trying to justify something which is interfering with society with marriage with family which is one of the most important basis of Islam- marriage..i don't know how much more i can emphasise this

[muslim_sis]

exactly! but ok you have people trying to justify music like rap 'oh the lyrics are meaningful' or people trying to justify not wearing jilbab and only headscarf etc but this is trying to justify something which is interfering with society with marriage with family which is one of the most important basis of Islam- marriage..i don't know how much more i can emphasise this
anything which is interfering with the teachings of islam is a big problem ... it intefers with our destination in the akhira (whether jannah or jahanam)...and as muslims our goal should be jannah , in order to get there INSHALLAH, we must follow the striaght path , not take short cuts (those are the routes witht the shaytaan!!!)... InshAllah Allah guide us all , Ameen.

[ur_yusra]

hahaha, ok ok, i will remove it. however regarding my enemies knowing me? they already do! i don't wanna say it, but i would like you people to know that i am not someone who comes to internet just calm his/her emotions down this way. I am doing a lot more here, that is why my name cannot hide anywhere. this is a gift from my lord Almighty that has given me the love, passion, energy and time (and a littllllllllllle piece of knowledge) for the deen, Alhamdulillah. now if i do it the other way (not by gun) that is something else, and i might have some reasons for it, however....
anyhow from now on i will remove it inshaAllah, although I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THE GIRLS WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MOST UGLIEST PERSON OF THE WORLD (me).

Thats good masha'Allah..

Don't be too harsh on yourself.. :)

[mgk81]

Ur dont need to inform ur first wife if u getting married, but it would be righteous of the husband informing her that his wanting to marry another. The husband dont need the wife's permission.

The husband should be able to maintain the wives. We should also understand what is meant by equality. Imagine my 1st wife has 3 kids and my 2nd wife is childless or has 1 child, the 2nd wife cannot expect to receive the same wage as the 1st wife. I should treat them equally with respect etc.
And many instances u find jealousy in that situation among other issues which might arise. yet its only natural.

That is why its advised to have only 1 wife, to avoid complications in ur marriage. There is a much broader picture then to just think the quran allows u to have 4 wives. One has to look much deeper then that. We should look at when is it really advisable to have a second wife or when does it come into affect, not just taking another cause we can afford another.
And to go to another country to marry another woman, darn we find alot of those cases, and its quite sad that a man can go to that lengths especially in finding a younger wife, its none other then lust.

[aurorascopic]

i don't find anything respectable about not informing your wife of a second wife or marrying without her permission..thats disghusting and rude and offensive to the first wife and if i was ever to be a second wife (FOR EG only) i would never marry unless the first wife was 100% ok and happy with it, i think the second wives are wrong too in marrying in these situations. although to be honest, in my home towns case, the women have this 'dream' of coming to Europe thinking they're gonna live like rich celebrities or something.

lol, there's this one case in my town, this man about 45 brought this moroccon girl about 20, like his own bloody daughters age! lol anyway, she came here..to find out hes only an average guy and lives in like this dingy terraced house etc and she was like demanding expensive designer watches and demanding jewllery and well..being the typical arab woman ~ahem~ no offence intended.

[muslim_sis]

i don't find anything respectable about not informing your wife of a second wife or marrying without her permission..thats disghusting and rude and offensive to the first wife

.
i dont see in which way it is respectable either ... these brothers want to follow the sunnah so strongly though ... so they should ask theirselves , did the prophets wives know he had other wives , course they did subhanallah... thats sunnah then isnt it ... *rolleyes*

[NotOverYet]

brother , these are not western views i have. Alhamdulilah i am happy with the religion i choose , al islam , but when people mis-use it , then it gets upsetting ... u should read into these things before making such statements ... i did not condemn polygamy , islam allows it , but we shouldn't abuse this ! (which many men do!!!)

it is not an obligation to have four wives, it is not fardh.Yes it is a sunnah of the prophet (saw) but not fardh ! and yes it is a right upon a man , but it is between him and allah , if he has taqwah,he will fear that he will do injustice , which of you brothers can treat your wives 2,3 or 4 as equally as the prophet did , none of you !

surah an nisaa (4) , ayah 3 : ''and if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls,then marry (other) women of your choice,two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) , then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice''

and so we see there are conditions in order for a man to have more than one wife ... he should be able to treat them equally ! and how can you deny that he wont have to be financially stable ... you think its wonder land , where you know ''everythings gonna be alright'' ... im sorry , but it is just greed when men marry more than one wife without being able to look after the first effectively ! ... you seriously think a man can just go and marry another wife without taking into account hadeeth :

''feed her when you feed yourself,clothe her when you clothe yourself,do not beat her on the face,do not use hurtful language to her,and do not leave her except in the home''

again , i am not saying i am against it , but , you cant just see a few words and get excited about it - look into it , what does it mean , what are the conditions,what does allah say , what does the prophet say ... subhanallah !
Assalam o Alaiikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho
Dear Sister!
with full of my kholoos and a brotherly good neyah, i would like to request you, to not talk about Fiqhi aHkaam ever, unless you do not have any Fiqhi knowledge. Wallahi i am telling this to you from deep of my heart.
don't put any kind of conditions on anything from yourself. because you wo't know but you will say something which will take you to Jahanam (Allah Forbid) for 70 years. please stop answering to such issues, before you get full Fiqhi knowledge.
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho

[NotOverYet]

there are some really useful quotes from hadith and quran on this forum that i havent actually read before and ive saved them all :| lol

where i live, (in west yorkshire in england) theres been this new 'trend' amongst the older men like about 30-50's mybe even older where..they're all getting second wives. these men already have children who have grown up at university some even married! and now..theyre all going off, one country in particulare may i mention, Morocco, and getting themselves more wives and also let me tell you- the first wives who are now old who have had like 4, 5 kids theyre not happy but when u talk to them they reply you with 'we've got no choice..look at us..its not like we can divorce and someone will want to marry us..' and i know of many cases in my home town where women have gone into depression and its really sad! this is a MAJOR issue in our town and its spreading throughout the Indian/ asian community in neighbouring cities! and the men, their replies are 'islam allows four wives :|' and its like they dont understand the conditions that go with it, seriously they should come on ummah and read these threads- even the YOUTH who are supposed to be 'naive' know better than these grown men. and let me shock you even more they are ALIMS and IMAMS and MOULANAS! they're all going in groups of 10 for 'trips' to Morocco, Egypts became the new hot spot too and they all come back married..it's destroying families...its DESTROYED families actually astagfirullah and it's getting out of hand. plus because the moulanas are doing it, the normal uneducated average ali kinda guys are following them.
im sorry if im just waffling on here but it hurts me so much because i know alot of these women, people ive lived with in my home town and its just not right how the men are manipulating islam.
the problem today is that WE are taking the Mullah's or Maulana's (who themselves are missed up with the wrong concepts being entered in their minds) as our rule Modals, whilst we should have the Muhammad SAS and his Companions RA as our rule Modals. surely they are the only ones deserving it.
i am seeing the guys here, sometimes follow me since they think that by being religious i am doing all the things right, and i am telling them, that you should not follow me in everything, because I am not a Ma'soom (the way Shi'as are thinking) so you should understand that this was wrong that i did and this was right.
the same goes with you my sister in islam, that you are taking the example of these few people and then applying it on all. AND THAT IS WHAT THAT I WILL CALL WRONG!

[NotOverYet]

not dewsbury but round there yeah. and whats wrong!? the women dont want them to get married..isnt the nikaah haraam if u dont have permission from the first wife? they're supposed to treat both wives equally..you call making the first wife going into depression equal treatment??? and the wives have no say and no option but to just let them have other wives..i think from an outide perception it's hard to be sympathetic but when you know these women and you talk to them and they tell you of their sorrows and how they feel like theyve got nothing left to live for..it really hurts you..
no one has to get the permission from his first wife for the second. please get some knowledge, and drop your emotions away!

i think it is so useless talking here, because everybody (even some sisters) are saying that permession is not needed, but still these sisters are repeating that one line (of their own interest) only the way if the CD is stuck in that one line!
do you people try to read other's lines?
everybody is talking of if even someone can get married in secret or not, and you are coming here and saying that permession is needed or not! lol

[NotOverYet]

Ur dont need to inform ur first wife if u getting married, but it would be righteous of the husband informing her that his wanting to marry another. The husband dont need the wife's permission.

The husband should be able to maintain the wives. We should also understand what is meant by equality. Imagine my 1st wife has 3 kids and my 2nd wife is childless or has 1 child, the 2nd wife cannot expect to receive the same wage as the 1st wife. I should treat them equally with respect etc.
And many instances u find jealousy in that situation among other issues which might arise. yet its only natural.

That is why its advised to have only 1 wife, to avoid complications in ur marriage. There is a much broader picture then to just think the quran allows u to have 4 wives. One has to look much deeper then that. We should look at when is it really advisable to have a second wife or when does it come into affect, not just taking another cause we can afford another.
And to go to another country to marry another woman, darn we find alot of those cases, and its quite sad that a man can go to that lengths especially in finding a younger wife, its none other then lust.
if even it is for lust only, you still cannot forbid it. this is not the democracy rules that you should forbid anything you dislike or you allow anything you like! if that was so, then i was going to allow the Sigha marraige for myself. BUT I DON'T!

[NotOverYet]

i dont see in which way it is respectable either ... these brothers want to follow the sunnah so strongly though ... so they should ask theirselves , did the prophets wives know he had other wives , course they did subhanallah... thats sunnah then isnt it ... *rolleyes*
don't you mix the things up with each others? let me tell you one thing in advance. if i am defending this, it never means that I want to get married for the second time and the same i think is for other brothers as well. i don't have a good experiance in my life, from what my dad had done, however, if i am defending this issue, it is because i defend the true concept about it. the same is surely with other brothers. please don't issue any judgment from your own mind in to the Fiqhi issue. it is not that easy, the way you have thought of it! please don't put any conditions on those things which are allowed by Allah Almighty and then HE Almighty has not putted any kind of conditions on it.
Wassalam

[muslim_sis]

Assalam o Alaiikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho
Dear Sister!
with full of my kholoos and a brotherly good neyah, i would like to request you, to not talk about Fiqhi aHkaam ever, unless you do not have any Fiqhi knowledge. Wallahi i am telling this to you from deep of my heart.
don't put any kind of conditions on anything from yourself. because you wo't know but you will say something which will take you to Jahanam (Allah Forbid) for 70 years. please stop answering to such issues, before you get full Fiqhi knowledge.
Assalam o Alaikom wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatoho
wa alaikum asalam warahmatullahi wabarakatu

this is not from what i think brother , there sheikhs i listen to , books i read, .... im not going to say anymore because it seems you dont understand , but i recomment for u to read ''bent rib'' by Huda Al Khattab

May Allah be with you

[muslim_sis]

don't you mix the things up with each others? let me tell you one thing in advance. if i am defending this, it never means that I want to get married for the second time and the same i think is for other brothers as well. i don't have a good experiance in my life, from what my dad had done, however, if i am defending this issue, it is because i defend the true concept about it. the same is surely with other brothers. please don't issue any judgment from your own mind in to the Fiqhi issue. it is not that easy, the way you have thought of it! please don't put any conditions on those things which are allowed by Allah Almighty and then HE Almighty has not putted any kind of conditions on it.
Wassalam
i am not issuing my own fiqhi issues , seriously brother , u need to read properly ... I AM NO AGAINST POLYGYNY , ALLAH HAS SAID YOU MEN ARE ALLOWED TO MARRY UP TO FOUR , HOW COULD I POSSIBLY BE AGAINST IT , BUT MEN SHOULDNT ABUSE IT , JUST AS ALL MUSLIMS SHOULDNT ABUSE ANYTHING IN THE DEEN

[NotOverYet]

wa alaikum asalam warahmatullahi wabarakatu

this is not from what i think brother , there sheikhs i listen to , books i read, .... im not going to say anymore because it seems you dont understand , but i recomment for u to read ''bent rib'' by Huda Al Khattab

May Allah be with you
Ok dear Sister, you follow something just becaue you read it in one book or heard it from one Shiekh? then why don't you take a little interest, because so many Shaikhs have issued an allowance on it. on some books, covering the bossoms only are called Hijab which means that you don't have to cover your hair, then why don't you follow them?
I am not saying that you are against this plygyny, I am saying that you are putting conditions on this issue, and that is what you shouldn't! if Allah Almighty has not putted this then why should we do so?
if you were right with your conditions, then what About Sahaba's? they were all the time getting married for one to four, then?
Don't try to interperete the Quranic verses yourself, if you don't have any knowledge about the Fiqhi fundamentals.
i did not want to embarace you or anything, and Allah Almighty knows that. All i wanted was to let you know to not write something this publically while you don't have enough knowledge about it.
let me tell you one thing, i read this reply that you had brought the Ayah's interperetations for the Ayah from An-Nissah Surrah, I didn't want to say anything about it, because i got confused with its english, therefore i went and ask my those friends who could have access to the Fiqhi fundamentals. I feel no shame to ask if I am wrong, to avoid spreading any mis-interpretations, and the same i think is on each Mumin!

[NotOverYet]

wa alaikum asalam warahmatullahi wabarakatu

this is not from what i think brother , there sheikhs i listen to , books i read, .... im not going to say anymore because it seems you dont understand , but i recomment for u to read ''bent rib'' by Huda Al Khattab

May Allah be with you
Ok dear Sister, you follow something just becaue you read it in one book or heard it from one Shiekh? then why don't you take a little interest, because so many Shaikhs have issued an allowance on it. on some books, covering the bossoms only are called Hijab which means that you don't have to cover your hair, then why don't you follow them?
I am not saying that you are against this plygyny, I am saying that you are putting conditions on this issue, and that is what you shouldn't! if Allah Almighty has not putted this then why should we do so?
if you were right with your conditions, then what About Sahaba's? they were all the time getting married for one to four, then?
Don't try to interperete the Quranic verses yourself, if you don't have any knowledge about the Fiqhi fundamentals.
i did not want to embarace you or anything, and Allah Almighty knows that. All i wanted was to let you know to not write something this publically while you don't have enough knowledge about it.
let me tell you one thing, i read this reply that you had brought the Ayah's interperetations for the Ayah from An-Nissah Surrah, I didn't want to say anything about it, because i got confused with its english, therefore i went and ask my those friends who could have access to the Fiqhi fundamentals. I feel no shame to ask if I am wrong, to avoid spreading any mis-interpretations, and the same i think is on each Mumin!

[aurorascopic]

I AM NO AGAINST POLYGYNY , ALLAH HAS SAID YOU MEN ARE ALLOWED TO MARRY UP TO FOUR , HOW COULD I POSSIBLY BE AGAINST IT , BUT MEN SHOULDNT ABUSE IT , JUST AS ALL MUSLIMS SHOULDNT ABUSE ANYTHING IN THE DEEN

AGREED. couldn't have said it better myself.