Advice to a daughter

[mulk91]

Advices that an Arab mother gave to her daughter who was getting married.

The First Advice

My beloved daughter!
Lead a life of contentment.
Be content even with simple food.
The dry bread and water,
which is eaten with contentment,
is better than a rich meal,
which is eaten after your persistant
complaints, forcing him to
grudgingly provide it for you.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Second Advice

My beloved daughter!
Always listen attentively to what your
husband says. Give importance to what
he says and do as he says. In this manner,
you will soon win a place in his heart, because
it is not really a person who is beloved,
but what the person does that is most loved.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Third Advice

My beloved daughter!
Tend your beauty carefully
so that whenever he will look
at you, he will be pleased with his
choice. Within the limits of decency,
use as much fragrance as possible,
and remember that no part of
your body or dress should
repulse him."

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Fourth Advice

My beloved daughter!
Be always attractive to him, put
Surma in your eyes, for beautiful
eyes make a person's whole being
beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.
Bath and do ablution regularly,
as this is the best perfume
and the best way to
cleanliness.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Fifth Advice

My beloved daughter!
Prepare his meals before it is
time as hunger becomes a flame if
not satisfied. During the hours of
rest, keep it quiet and peaceful
as disturbed sleep makes a
man miserable and angry.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Sixth Advice

My beloved daughter!
Protect his home and treasure;
let no one enter the house without
his permission and do not waste his
treasure by indulging in exhibition,
for treasure can only be tended
through good management and
the family only through good
sense.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Seventh Advice

My beloved daughter!
Never disobey him and always
keep his secrets, for disobeying such
a honourable man would put fuel to fire
and revealing his secrets would destroy
his trust in you. And you, yourself will
not be safe from his (retaliatory)
double standards. Someone has
rightly said " To be trusted is
better than to be loved."

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Eighth Advice

My beloved daughter!
If he is grieved over something,
then do not mention to him anything
that has pleased you. Share his grief.
When he is happy, do not disclose your
hidden grief and do not complain to
your husband about his behaviour.
Be happy with him. Otherwise
you will be regarded as one
who confuses him.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Ninth Advice

My beloved daughter!
If you wish to be respectable in his
eyes, then honour and respect him
and act according to his wishes.
Then at every stage of your life
you will find him to be your
best companion.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Tenth Advice

My beloved daughter!
Hold fast onto this advice from me.
Sweet flowers will not blossom in your
life as long as you do not suppress your
wish for his pleasure. My dear daughter,
my darling! I bid farewell with these
words and give you in Allah's care.
May He make all steps in your life
good and preserve you from
all evil. (Ameen)

~~~~~***~~~~~
May Allah bless us with the ability to implement these advices into our married lives, and May Allah (swt) bless us with the ability to fulfill all the responsibilities and promises that come with the bond of marriage. Ameen

[puella]

Allahumma ameen

[TEH]

Theres another story I heard...

A Mothers Advice to her Daughter Prior to Marriage

Harith bin Amr, the king of Kindah, proposed to marry the daughter of ‘Auf bin Muhillim. Her mother said to her the following words on the day that she was to be taken to her husband:

“My daughter, if advice was to be left off to those of virtue, I would have abstained from advising you, but good advice is a reminder to the heedless and a helper to the wise. If a woman did not need a husband because of the richness of her parents and because of their great need for her, then you would have been the richest of people in that regard; however, women were created for men and men were created for women.

My daughter, you are indeed leaving this house that you have been raised in, leaving to go to a man you do not know and to a partner that you are not used to. Be a slave to him and he will become your slave, and preserve for him 10 qualities:

1,2) Sincerity towards him by always being satisfied with your condition and good obedience to him.

3,4) Be careful about his eyes and his nose: do not let him see you in a bad state and do not let him smell from you any odour except for the most fragrant of odours.

5,6) Look after the time of his sleep and the time of his meals, for the continued state of hunger makes one weak and restless sleep leads to anger.

7,8) Protect his wealth and look after his family – the key to wealth is good estimation, and the key to the family is good planning.

9,10) Never disobey his command and never spread his secrets – the former embitters his heart and the latter will make you unsafe from his betrayal.

[Supernova Nebula]

Excellent, maybe we could also have a thread on "Advice to a son"?:D

[1 ummah]

Excellent, maybe we could also have a thread on "Advice to a son"?:D

yep that would be good inshallah :rolleyes:

[.: hayat :.]

shukhrun "mum"!:up:

[Al-Irhaab]

as one crazed sister said to me.... what does this bedouin woman know about marriage nowadays :rolleyes:

but then again why should we listen to crazed sisters when we have mums :D

[sunrise]

MashAllah i think that is excellent advice!!

We all know that pleasing your husband is our key to jannah inshAllah!

Sunrise

[islamirama]

‘Abd al-Malik said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) choose what is best for you and protect you.’” 38

She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.

This advice clearly included everything that one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every young girl who is about to get married.

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/herhusband.htm

[toxic]

:up: Keep 'em commin...... Masha'allah.

[mulk91]

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