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abuahmed
19-05-06, 07:59 AM
All perfect praise is due to Allaah; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is His Slave and Messenger; may Allaah exalt his mention, as well as his family and all his companions.



The Internet has had great negative effects on many people who misused it, and especially on marital relations. In order to show you how serious this problem is, I will only narrate a story as it came to me from one of the sisters.



The story goes as follows: “As-Salaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaah Wa Barakaatuh; I am writing to you and would like to say in the beginning that my main problem with my husband is the Internet. We were living a happy life, and our house was one that was overwhelmed with the mention of Allaah.



My husband never used to sleep after praying Fajr, and always prayed the regular prayers on time. He also used to designate a period of his time weekly to check on the poor and the needy people and other times to visit his relatives.



He always went around the different mosques to check if there was a need for anything and if so he used to provide it, because Allaah had blessed him with wealth and he used to utilize his wealth to help as many people as he could.



But … When the Internet entered our home, it was a serious test for him. He, and for the first time, saw pictures of naked women on the net and as a result his situation totally changed.



Dear Shaykh! He does not even pray the Fajr prayer anymore, as if it is wiped out from his dictionary. As for the rest of the prayers, he prays them after their designated times, and he does not attend the congregational prayers any more.



I have done the impossible to advise him and used different methods, but to no avail. I even told him to marry a second wife, but he became upset and said to me: `I will never find anyone like you`.



I am very confused and do not know what to do. I have lost hope in any change happening because he told me that he can not stop what he is doing and that he will continue to do it for as long as he lives.



All he does now is sit in front of this devilish device and stair at it and he has abandoned all the good he used to do and forgot how he used to spend his time … but this is the case of the one who is overwhelmed by Satan.



I have three children from him and wish to raise them as pious people who memorize the Qur’aan, so what should I do? If he does not help me raise them properly, who will help me? I strive hard and try to cultivate them in the way that pleases Allaah, but if the situation remains as it is now, then I do not know what will happen.



The problem developed to become even worse when he told me that he is planning to buy a satellite and subscribe to pornographic channels. I do not know how much worse he will get.



Please help me and tell me, what should I do? Should I stay with him and persevere or leave him?



I can not stand him anymore, because I perceive him as a hypocrite now. Please deliver a Khutbah on the Internet and marital problems resulting from it, and mention my story to the people and tell them that many sisters are suffering from the same problem” [End of story].



This is the story of this sister, and I believe that it does not need any clarification, as it is self-explanatory.



Pornographic sites in Numbers: One of the companies that own such sites claims that 4.7 million visitors view its site weekly.



A company by the name of “Website Story” did a survey and stated that more than two hundred and eighty thousand visit certain pornographic pages daily, and that there are one hundred similar pages which are viewed by more than twenty thousand visitors daily, while two thousand other pages are viewed by more than fourteen hundred visitors daily. Only one of these pages received more than forty three million visitors in the past two years.



Another company stated that they have circulated more than three hundred thousand pornographic photos for more than one billion times through the net.



Researchers in Carnegie Mellon University conducted a statistic on more than nine hundred and seventeen thousand pictures that are circulated on the net which have been viewed 8.5 times by people from two thousand cities in forty countries. The result was that they discovered that more than fifty percent of these were pornographic pictures.



Another statistic was conducted by a company named “Zogby” in the year 2000, and found out that more than twenty percent of the population of the United States view pornographic pages. Steve Waters, the researcher in this company stated that mostly people view these pages the first time out of curiosity, then things develop to become an addiction, which usually lead to marital problems and other evil consequences.



In the year 1999 the percentage of pornographic material purchased electronically was 8% with revenue of eighteen billion dollars, and people electronically spent nine hundred and seventy million dollars to subscribe to pornographic sites, and it was expected to increase up to three billion dollars by the year 2003.



The number of pornographic pages increase in an amazingly rapid manner and it could reach hundreds of pages weekly, most of which provide free services to attract people.



The Department of Justice in the United States stated that never before had such a huge amount of pornographic material been made available for children through any media means, as it has been made available through the Internet, which has entered most homes with absolutely no restriction.



Sixty three percent of the teenagers, who view such pages, do it with out their parents’ consent, although the ages of the majority of those who view such pages are between twelve and seventeen years.



When a believer is cultivated to be fearful and conscious of Allaah, and when it is instilled in his heart that Allaah is The All Knowing, and is aware of all that one does or says, and that some of His attributes are that He is The All Seeing, All Hearing, The Witness, The One Who Holds to Account and nothing escapes His Knowledge and that He is The One Who Controls all the affairs; belief in all this yields fruitful results and makes the person fear Allaah in secret just as he fears Him in the open. It also makes the person refrain from sinning and control his desires which is the main cause for many people to indulge in prohibitions.



If ones lower-self whispers to him to view such obscene pages, then he should remember the saying of Allaah:

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ

which means: “And know that Allaah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him” [Al-Baqarah: 235]



And also:

وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ رَقِيبًا

which means: “And ever is Allaah, over all things, an Observer” [Al-Ahzaab: 52]



And also:

وَهُوَ مَعَكُمْ أَيْنَ مَا كُنْتُمْ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ

which means: “and He is with you (In knowledge, observing and witnessing.) wherever you are. And Allaah, of what you do, is Seeing” [Al-Hadeed: 4]

.: hayat :.
26-05-06, 06:45 PM
I even told him to marry a second wife???????????????????????i read good?ohhhhhhhhhhh,i am trying to marry and be only wife and u say this?when i marry someone i do not want to share him with other woman..yeah u can call me selfish but i want a strong love and if i love him so much how can i let him be with other woman too..?i want me and my husband to be like one person..no space for a 2nd wife!
if he is just watching pornography is better than doing zina by cheating u...there r men who do not watching and had more than one wife and cheat them both...so ur situation is not the worse..
sure he watch cuse he is a man..he likes so much cuse u r muslims..here european ppl are used with pornography but r not so crazy about it i think..it's like saying:"if u do not let a child to eat a candy,later when he find them he will eat the whole box!" hope u understand smth..may allah help u sis and give u peace..

nomadicfoodie
28-05-06, 08:01 PM
Pornography is a toxin that is wrecking our society. it is a carefully controlled multi billion $ industry and even governments make too much tax $ off of its effects to control it properly. It objectifies women and is a pernicious unravelling of a basic and happy sexuality in our society.

aurorascopic
28-05-06, 09:23 PM
its disghusting. i go to a mixed 6th form (college for 16-18 yr olds) and the other day there was this magazine 'zoo' (porn) and my friend picked it up and went '*gasp* its zoo!' and she put it flat down on this shelf. unfortunatly the muslim brothers on the table heard her and started screaming 'OH ZOO OMG pass it here!! GIVE IT TO MEE!!' and my friend was like 'NO its disghusting im not letting u see it!' and she took it from the shelf and tried to hide it under her seat, meanwhile another brother began shouting 'no give it to ME!' and was coming to my friend to snatch it off her, so i took it off my friend and chucked it in the bin, because i know thre is no way those boys would dig into the bin, not even for porn. anyway when i did that, the whole table, even the muslim sisters, were like 'what the hell..u didnt have to chuck it in the bin..' and like looked down on me?? :s im thinking..what did i do so wrong..tut

Nawar
28-05-06, 09:37 PM
:eek: :rubeyes:

I cant believe this. MUSLIMS not being ashamed of such a vile haraam act?? and sis aurorascopic obviously you did the right thing.

Subhanallah I felt so sad reading the story of the sister in the first post :( . Her patience and strength subhanallah, I cant imagine what she must feel :(. This is the effect of kuffar society, their filth, and it is being spread across the world.

Obviously the only cure is to repent and not return to the sin. Indeed the knowledge that Allah (swt) sees everything should be at the forefront of a muslims mind. Im just baffed that someone seemingly pious would do it in the first place, would not be ashamed or acknowledge what they are doing is wrong and then vow to continue doing it??

Astagfirullah :(

aurorascopic
28-05-06, 09:43 PM
:eek: :rubeyes:

Im just baffed that someone seemingly pious would do it in the first place, would not be ashamed or acknowledge what they are doing is wrong and then vow to continue doing it??

Astagfirullah :(

yeah i was abit confused at tha too..when the sister wrote that her husband said he would do this for as long as he lives? you'd think a pious person would acknowledge his acts were wrong, admit he was comitting those wrong acts and then make attempts to stop or atleast repent or something..

ur_yusra
28-05-06, 09:53 PM
oh no.. :crying:

Thats really sad.. I'm gnna ban my husband from the net.. if he has time on the net then he can use it more productively by working overtime.

MMS
28-05-06, 10:07 PM
im going to take my husband to Oman and we will live amongst the desert bedouins and we wont even have electricity forget internet :D
there he shall ride a horse and go hunting and just look handsome for me :D

puella
28-05-06, 10:50 PM
im going to take my husband to Oman and we will live amongst the desert bedouins and we wont even have electricity forget internet :D
there he shall ride a horse and go hunting and just look handsome for me :D

and you will live in a makeshift tent amongst the scorpions and lizards....nice!!:hidban:

MalikOne™
28-05-06, 10:55 PM
:vomit: Isnt that basically Adultery?

If I was a woman he'd be sleepin wit tha fishes or if I cudnt do it, id tell someone male in ma fam to send him ther.

When my lil sista gets married Insha'Allah (when I let her) if her husband ever did anything like that his new rescidence would be ICU.

:torture:

Al-Irhaab
28-05-06, 10:58 PM
I even told him to marry a second wife???????????????????????i read good?ohhhhhhhhhhh,i am trying to marry and be only wife and u say this?when i marry someone i do not want to share him with other woman..yeah u can call me selfish but i want a strong love and if i love him so much how can i let him be with other woman too..?i want me and my husband to be like one person..no space for a 2nd wife!
if he is just watching pornography is better than doing zina by cheating u...there r men who do not watching and had more than one wife and cheat them both...so ur situation is not the worse..
sure he watch cuse he is a man..he likes so much cuse u r muslims..here european ppl are used with pornography but r not so crazy about it i think..it's like saying:"if u do not let a child to eat a candy,later when he find them he will eat the whole box!" hope u understand smth..may allah help u sis and give u peace..


:wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko:

puella
28-05-06, 11:24 PM
:vomit: Isnt that basically Adultery?

If I was a woman he'd be sleepin wit tha fishes or if I cudnt do it, id tell someone male in ma fam to send him ther.

When my lil sista gets married Insha'Allah (when I let her) if her husband ever did anything like that his new rescidence would be ICU.

:torture:

may every sister have a brother like you! :up: ameen

MalikOne™
28-05-06, 11:36 PM
may every sister have a brother like you! :up: ameen

I really hope they dont :|

Still my lil sista is very lucky shes got four brothers aint no one gona mess wit her :p

puella
29-05-06, 03:14 AM
I really hope they dont :|

Still my lil sista is very lucky shes got four brothers aint no one gona mess wit her :p

for you to be so protective over her, of course that is a very good trait and there fore every sister should have a brother like you inshaAllah.

Al-Irhaab
29-05-06, 09:03 AM
I really hope they dont :|

Still my lil sista is very lucky shes got four brothers aint no one gona mess wit her :p

i know man... thats what u need to do... me before my sis gets married im gonna sit down with the guy... explain that she got older bros, that we is a bit crazy millitant with some proper crazy friends... :torture:

im still thinkin about whether it would be feasible to pull out a gun and show him what we could do to him if he messes about :scratch:

i mean it could be done but would it be over the top, what do you think... maybe we should have a poll :D

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 09:57 AM
i know man... thats what u need to do... me before my sis gets married im gonna sit down with the guy... explain that she got older bros, that we is a bit crazy millitant with some proper crazy friends... :torture:

im still thinkin about whether it would be feasible to pull out a gun and show him what we could do to him if he messes about :scratch:

i mean it could be done but would it be over the top, what do you think... maybe we should have a poll :D

Naa dont wana scare him too much esp if ur sista likes tha guy he'd prolly end up running away (which aint a bad thing I guess :p) but id take him out wit me on a couple of occasions show him how we do so he knows that he cant do anything and then id interrogate him like I was some CIA officer make sure he's not dodgy in neway and isnt gona mess about :up:

puella
29-05-06, 11:22 AM
i think you two have got it spot on!...but remeber your future wives may also have brothers and they will do the same to you!...and so they should!

Al-Irhaab
29-05-06, 11:48 AM
i think you two have got it spot on!...but remeber your future wives may also have brothers and they will do the same to you!...and so they should!

nah i doubt it... takes a certain kind of person to do it and then most will only do it to certain people :rolleyes:

puella
29-05-06, 01:38 PM
nah i doubt it... takes a certain kind of person to do it and then most will only do it to certain people :rolleyes:

whats to say one is immune?...you obviously have a sister and she is exteremely precious to you...so others regard their sisters like that too...so irresspective of whether there is a certain type of guy who deems such a talking to, i think i should be done in every circumstance...so that the ground rules are set...do u not think?

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 02:08 PM
i think you two have got it spot on!...but remeber your future wives may also have brothers and they will do the same to you!...and so they should!

Id make it so her brother asks me to marry her :p

Naa on a level the thing is people that we think we know very well we actually hardly know anything about them, people are very difficult to figure out thas why i'll always be cautious as in who tha ppl close to me get involved wit. Lets jus say ur sista brings a guy to u and says I wanna marry him you talk to him but doesent necessarily mean u get to know him because he cud jus be frontin to u, i.e u'll only find out/know what they want u to find out/know.

.

HandsomeMujahid
29-05-06, 02:21 PM
Id make it so her brother asks me to marry her :p

Naa on a level the thing is people that we think we know very well we actually hardly know anything about them, people are very difficult to figure out thas why i'll always be cautious as in who tha ppl close to me get involved wit. Lets jus say ur sista brings a guy to u and says I wanna marry him you talk to him but doesent necessarily mean u get to know him because he cud jus be frontin to u, i.e u'll only find out/know what they want u to find out/know.

.

ya get me cuz:D

nomadicfoodie
29-05-06, 04:10 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=388134&in_page_id=1770

interesting article

MMS
29-05-06, 04:56 PM
and you will live in a makeshift tent amongst the scorpions and lizards....nice!!:hidban:

thats the beauty of it all :inlove:

http://www.lisayoung.co.uk/imgs210505/Bedouin%20camp%20at%20Sunrise%20Oman_l.jpg

:inlove::inlove:

thats where i wanna be

Omar
29-05-06, 05:07 PM
^^ tht is amazing :D

the simplicity

aurorascopic
29-05-06, 05:34 PM
thats the beauty of it all :inlove:

http://www.lisayoung.co.uk/imgs210505/Bedouin%20camp%20at%20Sunrise%20Oman_l.jpg

:inlove::inlove:

thats where i wanna be

aw wow thats amazing. you're so much like me, when i tell my friends i want to move from this country and go to some random desert they're like :wacko: no-one understands people like us! lol..although to be honest, ive been considering undeveloped/natural coastlines..i love the sound of water

MMS
29-05-06, 09:11 PM
aw wow thats amazing. you're so much like me, when i tell my friends i want to move from this country and go to some random desert they're like :wacko: no-one understands people like us! lol..although to be honest, ive been considering undeveloped/natural coastlines..i love the sound of water

everybodys tents are the same their not competeing to see who has the bigger house or the newer car, all you think about is where your next meal comes from, it keeps you away from the petty things, no taxes, no bills
no stress :hidban:

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 09:19 PM
everybodys tents are the same their not competeing to see who has the bigger house or the newer car, all you think about is where your next meal comes from, it keeps you away from the petty things, no taxes, no bills
no stress :hidban:

Your saying not knowing where your next meal is coming from isnt gona stress you out? :p

What about your kids?

The simplicity is cool- a great way of escaping tha fitnahs of life. But unless you have such a system in place where you have a continuous supply of food and water and a decent shelter then life wont be stress free.

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 09:20 PM
ya get me cuz:D

u kno how we do cuz ;)

ur_yusra
29-05-06, 09:30 PM
may every sister have a brother like you! :up: ameen

I wish I had older brothers to back me up, be nice to me and buy me things..

Mind you I'l probably complain about them being over protective.. :torture:

Maybe its better to be a free ranger after all.. a free lone ranger.. :rolleyes:

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 09:34 PM
Mind you I'l probably complain about them being over protective.. :torture:


They all do :p

But they'll understand one day :up:

nomadicfoodie
29-05-06, 09:45 PM
everybodys tents are the same their not competeing to see who has the bigger house or the newer car, all you think about is where your next meal comes from, it keeps you away from the petty things, no taxes, no bills
no stress :hidban:

Err, have you seen inside those tents? I have been invited inside some that are like them, the carpets and tea sets vary enormously and that's just a start....

We all need wilderness, too bad we don't protect it more...

Jum'u@h
29-05-06, 09:51 PM
The desert is v.nice mash'Allah - but personally id rather go here...

http://www.scubagrl.net/Island_Fantasy_SS.jpg

Hmmm, im sure there must b an island somehwhere on Earth that no one has found yet :rolleyes:

Mite juss set out one day on a boat and see where it takes me :banbear:

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 09:54 PM
Mite juss set out one day on a boat and see where it takes me :banbear:

Oh seen its all startin ta make sense...thas where bengalis fondness of fish came from when tha floods came y'all got on ur boats and had no choice but to eat fish :up:

Jum'u@h
29-05-06, 09:58 PM
Edit: :rotfl: :1peace:

MalikOne™
29-05-06, 10:10 PM
Edit: :rotfl: :1peace:

I shud make a book on that subject innit :up: I got a phd on the relationship between Bengalis and Fish :cool:

RaNdOm
29-05-06, 10:18 PM
for you to be so protective over her, of course that is a very good trait and there fore every sister should have a brother like you inshaAllah.

:salams

here here :D

i really really really wish i had an older bro :(

ur_yusra
29-05-06, 10:24 PM
:salams

here here :D

i really really really wish i had an older bro :(

awww dnt worry .. ask people who have older bros..

older bros are mean..

better to have a younger bro who you can boss around.. :p

RaNdOm
29-05-06, 10:31 PM
awww dnt worry .. ask people who have older bros..

older bros are mean..

better to have a younger bro who you can boss around.. :p

:salams

loool little bros that tie towels round there heads pretending its a hijab and then put on a niqab pretending to be some rockin ninja sistaaaah?? :hidban: (yeh ehem thats what ma bro just did or should it be 'bro' :p --- lool dont worry hes reading this :eek3: )

nahhhh i think older bros are just THE coolest, but its true i probably imagine to be way better in ma head than he would be in real life :torture: but like when they get all strict and protective of ya even if theyre bein mean its like :crying: i want an older bro tooooooooooo...so he can like go beat people up and stuff....:D