Help me, please....

[SuperDuper]

Dear brothers and sisters....

Asalamwalekum.....

I am here today to seek help for something that has terribly ruined my life.... Brothers and sisters, I am not the best muslim... however I never sinned with such gravity before in my life than I have a few nights ago... My girlfriend of about a year was with me and we rented a room and were enjoying each others company until things began to heat up and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were on the verge of having sex. We didnt, because I stopped it and moved away... However we agreed to have anal intercourse since it would "save" our virginity... I know what I did was wrong, brothers I don't know what to do any mroe with my life. Never before have I drank alcohol, never before have I had sexual contact with a woman, never before have I sinned so severely... I cannot stand to live with myself and cannot face myself in the mirror anymore... I cannot begin to fathom what I have done and I feel as if a part of me is gone after that day and I feel as if Allah will never forgive me for this sin and Im afraid his blessings and help might be led astray from me... I have stooped down to such a low that my days consist of absolutely nothing but depression, regret and utmost sorrow for doing what I have done... What do I do? Please help me... Have I ruined my life? Have I ruined my shot at happiness and purity? Have I ruined whatever good was left in me? Please.... Such sins, I can't live and think of them at the same time... I've made the biggest mistake of my life and I don't know what to do... Please help me brothers and sisters... Please, ease me... I don't know what to do, never have I been this lost in my life... I've never been this lost and sad... Forgive me for such vulgarity... I apologize... Please help me, I beg you....

[Te'oma]

first of all you do not reveal your sin to others because it is between you and Allah. If you need advice, you need to speak to an Imam or a scholar but I suspect that you already know what to do. Repent sincerely, stop seeing the sister until you have pursued marriage through proper channels and seek allah's forgiveness. Allah accepts the repentance of a man to his dying breath.
I do have to say that I find it strange that you would call yourself Superduper and your first post is like this

[Mujaheedah]

go talk to a sheikh, or Imam.

[Mujaheedah]

really brother you should talk to a sheikh or Imam.

[Rie_Maya]

Wa alaikum as salaam,

I am sure that there will be lots of brothers and sisters on the site who will tell you about the situation with lots of Hadiths etc. I am not that learned so will only say what I 'think' on the subject.

Islamically - as you already know - Muslims should not have girlfriends/boyfriends [you can probably understand that logic perfectly now no doubt! Isn't hindsight wonderful - if only us humans listened in first place!!!] - but many do have relationships......... From what I gather you have both kept a non-sexual relationship till now - so why rent the room??? Did you not think it through beforehand?

My advice - repent sincerely - Allah is all-forgiving for those whom sincerely repent and promise not to make the same mistake (I tried to find a link to the steps to forgiveness I read from a previous posting but can't find it:(

Here is a forgiveness dua I was told to read morning and night - 'apparently' if read then the reader will go to Heaven if they die that day or night [someone may be able to confirm that for me?]

Allaahumma anta rabbee,
laa ilaaha illaa anta,
khalaqtanee wa ana abduka,
wa ana alaa ahdika wa wa’dika ma istata’tu,
a’oodhu bika min sharri maa sana’tu,
aboo’u laka bi ni’matika alayya,
wa aboo’u bi dhanbee fa ighfir lee fa innahu laa yaghfiru al-dhunooba illaa anta.

(O Allah, You are my Lord, there is no god but You; You created me and I am Your servant; I stand by my covenant and pledge with You according to the best of my ability; I seek refuge in You from the evils of my own deeds; I acknowledge Your favours upon me; I confess my sins to You; so forgive me for You alone can forgive sins.)-pray:

Avoid being alone again - do you have intention to marry? Perhaps haste would be a good thing......anal sex is haram too - yes the girl may have not broken her hymen but does that really mean she is still a virgin and you also???

Personally I think you obviously show the signs of wishing to repent sincerely, Insha'Allah Allah SWT will accept this, just please try not to repeat the same mistakes...............all is never lost with Allah SWT......... :)

I hope that this will be of some use.....and I hope I havecaused no offence

[Mujaheedah]

But just one suggestion brother, I think you really need to study Islam a bit more, go to some lectures read the Quran. Girlfreinds are not allowed in Islam, when there are 2 people alone in a room or wherever the 3rd one is always shaitan. Brother you have to repent and find out from an Imam or sheikh on what you should do, go to your local mosque, you can talk to an imam there.

[RaNdOm]

Walaikum Asalaam

Check out these answers on www.islamqa.com (http://www.islamqa.com)

Question #52803 - http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=52803&dgn=4

Question #1397 - http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=1397&dgn=4

Question #69842 - http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=69842&dgn=4

Brother I sincerely pray you learn from this grievious mistake and try and ensure that you become one of the best muslims you can. Ameen hmmm

[islamirama]

Follow what others have said, got www.islam-qa.com and search there as many others have fallen down this path and have asked similiar questions. you'll find your answer there from a shiek and scholars.