Graduation ceremony: Shall I go or not ?!

[Blossom]

Assalaam alaikum.

I am not sure if I should go for my graduation ceremony.

I hope I can benefit from other muslims experience and opinion as of this graduation ceremonies.

The dilemma is: Is it haram or not.

I asked from a learned person, she told me its haram for me to go and parade myself in front of all and sundry.

But I do not see it like that, I see it as a mark of my academic achievements and want to participate for memory, at the same time I am aware of the likely haram that could occur and I am sure I can keep myself aloof of such occurence since I have been doing these throughout my studies in the University.

I have asked about handshaking and I have been told people are exempted for religious or whatever reasons.

My classmates have shown me a great deal of respect and have been very supportive of me irrespective of the fact that I was the only muslim amongst them. I have had not a single problem with any of them and celebrating with them is just part of the academic experience I have shared with them as a student.

When I saying celebrating, I don't mean singing, dancing, drinking and all. I have alway stayed aloof all this things that is clearly haram. What I meant is sharing the same atmosphere of achievement I belief everybody will be experience on that day.


what I will be doing on that day if I decide to go are

1. Give thanks to Allah for his support through out my studies
2. Dress normally in my hijab/jilbaab
3 Put on an atmosphere of celebration but no pride
4.Wear the academic gown: compulsory by convention
5. Meet with classmates in the hall
6. Take my turn on the queue for my award
7. Collect my award
8. Order video of the day for my family since they are not available to attend
9. Not sure if to take picuture or not(I follow the opinion picture is haram, which I think most Muslims do,at least not displaying it)
10. Help myself to some food, if hallal available.
11. Go home


What I will not do if I go
1. I will not shake hands to receive my award if the presenter is a man
2. I will not shake hands with any man for that matter
3. I will not go for after dinner parties
4. In short I will not get involve in anything apparently haram

But if participating is haram in the first place all the above is useless.

So, who says its haram, and why ?

If you did not go, why didn't you?

If you go, why did you go?

What is your experience ?

How did you handle your graduation ceremony and the events. ?


All responses will be appreciated.

Thank you

[aamilah]

Assalaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu


I was actually in the very situation you're in abt two yrs back. At first I didnt want to go because I thought graduation clothes and niqaab can look a bit weird :rubeyes: but then I knew quite a lot of sisters who wore niqaab were getting ready for the ceremony.

Despite everything, eventually I decided not go. I spoke to quite a few knowledgeable people on this matter as well as go on the fatwa sites and each site I did go and each person I spoke to convinced me more and more not to go.

On the day of the ceremony, I was there with my friends while they were getting ready and I just felt so :( coz I wanted to be part of all that excitement. I waited in the prayer room while they were attending their ceremony and I just felt like crying because I thought I made a mistake. But just then a sis came up2 me and we were talking about the ceremony (this sis ive never spoken to before) and her graduation ceremony was in a few days too and she felt confused too.

We just found speaking to eachother gave us so much strength and in a way boosted our Imaan and made us believe that inshaAllah we are doing the correct thing by not being part of this whole graduation thing.

Our ceremony wud have ben very lavish.. the whole walking in to the national anthem, which was led by this guy holding wat looked like a cross and it wud have been in this posh uni hall :rolleyes:

But alhamdulillaah, I know as time went on, I most probably would have regret it.

I celebrated my achievement by going for a meal with my family and friends and as long as the closest people to me were there for me, I didnt really care abt the costume (which costs a bomb) and the whole parade thing too.

As for the handshake, you dont have to shake the hand. If any woman doesnt want to, she just walks up by putting her hand behind her backto hint at the deen not to shake the hands.

Hope this helps sis :)

[Quest]

my oh my (here goes my crap advice)

first of all my sisters, it is not for anyone to say this is haram and this is not. by doing so what we have just done is legislate a law, and only ALLAH is the law giver.

secondly seeing that the poster above me asked a learned person and that person said no, i take it he she is correct. and i am not qualified to argue anything different simply because i dont have the knowlede to support it.

HOWEVER lol I LOVE saying that!

Islam says leave doubtful matters alone
islam does not burden a soul for more then it can bear

and there is a hadith which says "Allah made some things haram for u, and somethings HALAL, then there are those things ALLAH did not mention, not because Allah forgot but because its a pardon for you"

^ never read the commentary for this hadith, so i wont attempt to give my verdict on what it means.

If their is alcohol present, even if u are not drinking but others around you are, you according to ISLAM are not allowed to be in their presence, this is based on a hadith (someone paste it pls)

regarding all the things u said u will do, i dont have a problem with it nor do i see the problem, but then again i have not graduated yet so i dont know what the atmosphere looks like.

Islam says do not imitate the kufar, so my advice to u, especialy since u are in doubt my love, is to leave it be, let this be the many sacrifices u make for the sake of ALLAH.

believe when u see ur reward in the next life, u will wish to return to earth so u can not go again.

keep ur eye on the price paradise :_)

you can do what the other sister said, celebrate with those u love thank ALLAH etc

if i was around i would have thrown u a muslima party to celebrate your achievment.

for what its worth, am proud (pleased) with your achievement

you go girl and keep your head up

regards
Q

[jimm]

go or dont go. Its up 2 you.

You cannot make haram what isnt haram.

[ilmwear.com]

Assalaam alaikum.

I am not sure if I should go for my graduation ceremony.



Salaam

Go and make your family and the Ummah proud. Great dawah!

[Te'oma]

Do they hold graduation ceremonies at Islamic universities?

[VoiceoftheWest]

Its the mark of your academic achievements, and it shows how hard you've worked. Don't miss out on it, because it truly makes you feel like you mean something, and gives you that uplifting feeling that only achievement could bring.

Its a once in a LIFETIME oppurtunity. I think a small sacrifice in the name of pride is worth it here.

[Quest]

Its a once in a LIFETIME oppurtunity. I think a small sacrifice in the name of pride is worth it here.

putting aside the integral point, i just want to say no sacrifice unless in the name of ALLAH is worth anything :up:

[MangoChutney]

Assalaam alaikum.

what I will be doing on that day if I decide to go are

1. Give thanks to Allah for his support through out my studies
2. Dress normally in my hijab/jilbaab
3 Put on an atmosphere of celebration but no pride
4.Wear the academic gown: compulsory by convention
5. Meet with classmates in the hall
6. Take my turn on the queue for my award
7. Collect my award
8. Order video of the day for my family since they are not available to attend
9. Not sure if to take picuture or not(I follow the opinion picture is haram, which I think most Muslims do,at least not displaying it)
10. Help myself to some food, if hallal available.
11. Go home


What I will not do if I go
1. I will not shake hands to receive my award if the presenter is a man
2. I will not shake hands with any man for that matter
3. I will not go for after dinner parties
4. In short I will not get involve in anything apparently haram




^^ this doesnt seem haram at all....go for it. :up:

[Emelianenko]

Do they hold graduation ceremonies at Islamic universities?
The Islamic School close to moi..When they students graduate as scholars..Majority of the teachers etc from around the UK are invited, Freinds and Family and the Last hadith in Bukhari is taught in front of everyone followed by a Dua by one of the head teachers and maybe recitation of the Quran and so on by one of the students :D :D and then everyone just goes and congratulates the Graduates :D

[Blossom]

Assalaam alaikum,

Jazakallahu khayran brothers and sister for repsonding to my initial post. I read all your responses and I agreed with everything you said.

For the sisters that said I should not go you are right about it, it would not have made any difference if I did not go. More importantly not going consciously to avoid fitnah for the sake of Allah would be more rewardable than just not going, if you understand what I mean.

For those who said to go, you are also right too, going would have just been like puting a seal on all those years of academic rigour and celebrating what I have achieved. But would this have made any difference in my life, I am not sure. To my understanding, this is worldly and I see no sin in it, simply because it would have been sinful for acquiring education in the first place.

This could mean that for all of us who has passed through the academic system, whatever subject you studied and whatever you do with it, would have been sinful in the first place. Because, everything you do, on the graduation day, you would have done it 100s of times, if not more while studying, starting from your first day at school.

Remeber, graudation ceremony, is not about singing and dancing, is just about people, collecting certificates after listening to some long boring speech from some VC about how good their university is, how good you've done to have graduated from their university and so on.

If you've attended an open day, or your first week ceremony as a fresher, sitting in that hall with all those strange faces, listening to speeches from different people from different department telling you what a good choice you have made to choose their university and so on. All this is the same as grad ceremony, the only difference here is you do not get a certificate.

You do the same thing throughout your stay at the Uni, attending lectures and talks sitting in those halls with all them people around you both male and females. If all these is haram, then us muslim shouldn't be attending university or studying in the first place.

This is not a justification of the ceremony, this is just looking back at the likeness of grad ceremony to what we've been doing acquiring education in the first place. Its all the same things, from the beginning to end.

All in all, I think it up to me to decide what is best for me to do, having seen other people's opinion on it.

Islamically thinking, I will not go.

In line with my academic experience which I sincerely hope and think is not sinful, I will go.


Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.