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opinion seeker
18-04-06, 03:52 AM
would you marry...
for brothers
a sister who is 'compatible' but is alot more younger than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs younger)
for sisters
a brother who is 'compatible' but alot more older than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs older)
jz/k to all those who answer
Assalamu-aliakum
aamilah
18-04-06, 06:20 PM
for sisters
a brother who is 'compatible' but alot more older than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs older)
jz/k to all those who answer
Assalamu-aliakum
yeh i wud, thats minor. wat u need is someone who u are able to relate to and is good for ur deen and if that is with someone who is older or younger than you, then whats the problem?
age is only a number. The prophet(SAW) married his first wife and she was much older then him
would you marry...
for brothers
a sister who is 'compatible' but is alot more younger than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs younger)
for sisters
a brother who is 'compatible' but alot more older than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs older)
jz/k to all those who answer
Assalamu-aliakum
like sis aamilah said, that is minor :p
i think up to a certain extent, age is definately just a number. I can see how some people would find it as a problem tho, it depneds upon your thinking really.
sometimes you only find out if youre truly compatible a few years in to the marriage and you have been truly tested.
you might actually find great compatibility with someone you wouldnt have dreamt off.as i did with my no 2 missus
Yep, the prophet (S) was 25, and his first wife was 40...
A story..
A Judge from Khurasan wanted to marry off his son, so he sought counsel with a man who was a follower of the Majus religion. The man said, 'People come to you seeking judgement, and here you are coming to seek counsel from me!' The judge said, 'You must advise me.'
He said, 'Our leader, Khosrau (kisra), would choose wealth (when seeking a wife); the leader of the Christians, Caesar, would choose beauty; and the pre-Islamic Arabs would choose based on ancestry and status; and your Prophet (S) would choose based on religion - so choose which among them you follow.
-----------------------------
So as long as the Istikhara turns out alright, go for it... :)
Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuh,
Yes, of course I would. I am an American revert (nearly 4 years) who is searching for one such muslima. One who is loving, caring, younger, good for my deen, younger, intelligent, younger, beautiful inside & out, younger, not materialistic....and did I mention younger?....I'm 32
i would marry a 50 year old:D
age aint nothing but a number:up:
opinion seeker
19-04-06, 09:25 AM
Mashallah jz/k for your answers
ok so now
a sister is in a situation where a brother, has proposed to her, but she has said no because she is but 17 and he is 31
[1] what do u people think about this age gap ? he is double her age
in 'compatibility' she has a higher level of Eman as well as knowledge in the religion. this is why he wishes to marry her
he has recently started practicing even though born muslim. he lived all of his life in 'jahil' but wishes to settle down now after repenting with a good sister
concidering the fact that her parents would never agree to such a marriage reasons for this is: his AGE, his PAST and his lack in knowledge of the religion
he does seem to show he has sincerity for his religion. he also claims to have done istihara. the brother apparently saw positive signs and is determined to get married to this sister.
the sister has told the brother why she cannot marry him. but he is still determined to get married to her as this is what he believes to be 'Allah's wish'
what should the sister do ?
Assalamu-aliakum
aamilah
19-04-06, 12:07 PM
It is down to personal prefrences. Im not going to sit here and say the sister is doing a bad thing by rejecting the proposal because her prefrences would possibly be different to mine or another sister's.
If the sister seriously does not wish to go ahead with it, then the brother should just move on and accept that inshaAllaah.
However, if she does want it but is scared of what the family might say etc, maybe the brother should arrange to meet her father or another one of her mahrams and give them a convincing reasong.
As for his past, whats in the past should remain in the past. InshaAllaah ta'aala I'm assuming he has sincerely repented (for whatever he feels he has done wrong). So, to make his past apparent is not something correct.
ur_yusra
19-04-06, 01:43 PM
erm.. if the girl does not wish to marry this man then he shouldnt persist..
He should just move on.. why not find someone else to marry who is a practising muslimah with knowledge?
Allah's wish?
If I'm not mistaken, that he saw positive signs after completing Istikhara, does not necessarily mean it's Allah's wish (Allah knows best) but merely that she would be suitable for him.
May be she needs to ask herself the following:
Does she like him personally? Is he a good dude? Does she find him attractive (granted it's not the most important issue, but it nonetheless counts as no one wants to marry someone they find ugly)? Does he have a stable income to support the family? Is she certain that he will treat her well throughout thier life together? Is she certain that he will retain his desire to live his life in accordance with the teachings of Islam?
If she likes him, trusts him and feels truly that he will take care of her and live by Islam, I don't see what the problem is. If she is not sure, tell her to ask him to give her more time to decide. If he cares about her, then he will give her more time. If he doesn't give her more time......well, that answers for itself. If he cares for her, he will have to realise that she can't make this judgement and come to a decision overnight. Tell her to also perform Istikhara.
Supernova Nebula
21-04-06, 02:15 PM
I would marry Gandalf....:rolleyes:. Seriously though, it's about acceptance. Too big a gap won't be good though. But at the end of the day, it's individual.
whoknows
21-04-06, 02:57 PM
age is certainly anumber but in this day and age one needs to be very very careful. i know sumone who has been take advantage of by two men 14/15 years older then her, because of her young charm, she is now grievend!and during prophet pbuh was different not anymore!
If one of my daughters came to me with a man 14 years older then her, I would counsel her that in the end all that matters is if she is happy. If she goes into the relationship expecting there to be a problem then indeed she will make it a problem. If they have a lot in common and he can prove to me that he is a decent man then I would have no problem if she didn't.
BTW I have 4 daughters, 17, 18, 19 and 23 so this is not an answer off the top of my head. I have considered the possibility
ze leetle elper
26-04-06, 09:31 AM
If the sister has said no then the brother should forget about her and turn away.
Regardless or not of whether his istikharah was positive, the istikharah is only a guidance from Allah to what is suitable for you. He may be suited to her, but perhaps she is not suited to him.
He should move on and not persist with the sister as this can cause trouble, both to her and her family inshaAllah.
FollowerOfMuhammad
26-04-06, 12:27 PM
such marriages are a bit difficult to handle.
10 15 years difference is a hue gap.
Maryam_akhtar
26-04-06, 12:55 PM
would you marry...
for brothers
a sister who is 'compatible' but is alot more younger than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs younger)
for sisters
a brother who is 'compatible' but alot more older than you?
(5/6 to 7 yrs older)
jz/k to all those who answer
Assalamu-aliakum
Yeh i wuld, as long as he's on the deen, then i wont have anything to comlain about.
;)
opinion seeker
26-04-06, 04:47 PM
If the sister has said no then the brother should forget about her and turn away.
Regardless or not of whether his istikharah was positive, the istikharah is only a guidance from Allah to what is suitable for you. He may be suited to her, but perhaps she is not suited to him.
He should move on and not persist with the sister as this can cause trouble, both to her and her family inshaAllah.
jz/k for every one's replies, especialy; aamilah, Paris,Te'oma and ze leetle helper
Assalamu-aliakum
yeah i agree age is nothing but a number..but i sure wudnt get married to a guy thats younger than me...thats freaky. wud make me feel like a cradle snatcher:D okay on a serious note?
id get married to someone..,but not if hes old..mann cmon its lust speaking...i hope she never met him on the net! its decieving!:rubeyes:
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