sexuallity!

[the-green-revol]

i have a big problem, i wanna convert so bad, but there is this dark cloud hanging over me. I am a guy in love with a guy, even though i know its wrong, i cant help my true feelings, he is a fellow muslim himself a very respectful person who is a fantastic guy. I have fell in love with him and have a desire to be with him. I know, i thought about it hundreds of times, its wrong, i shouldnt feel this way, but what if someone does? they are going against gods will, but what about how the person feels. Ive prayed to god hoping that one day ill wake up and not love him anymore, but it doesnt work, i feel i love him with all my heart. I have told him how i feel, and hes fine with it but dont feel the same way, hes such a great friend of mine, but how do i control my emotions, what if i feel this way to someone else in the future. I feel this in my heart, i cant tell you the pain it brings me, it hurts so bad, i want god to love me and forgive me for thinking like this, but how do i control it, the feelings i have for him are only good ones, but yet im still comitting a sin!

[seven]

there's nothing wrong with a guy loving another guy.

when it gets physical/sexual... that's where the line is drawn.

[Niqaabi]

Maybe you dont love him sexually but more because of his character, like you said he is a good guy etc.
Just try and keep it for the sake of Allah and do not think about him much in any sinful sense.
Make duah and fast a lot. And pray Allah helps you :)

['Inayah']

i have a big problem, i wanna convert so bad, but there is this dark cloud hanging over me. I am a guy in love with a guy, even though i know its wrong, i cant help my true feelings, he is a fellow muslim himself a very respectful person who is a fantastic guy. I have fell in love with him and have a desire to be with him. I know, i thought about it hundreds of times, its wrong, i shouldnt feel this way, but what if someone does? they are going against gods will, but what about how the person feels. Ive prayed to god hoping that one day ill wake up and not love him anymore, but it doesnt work, i feel i love him with all my heart. I have told him how i feel, and hes fine with it but dont feel the same way, hes such a great friend of mine, but how do i control my emotions, what if i feel this way to someone else in the future. I feel this in my heart, i cant tell you the pain it brings me, it hurts so bad, i want god to love me and forgive me for thinking like this, but how do i control it, the feelings i have for him are only good ones, but yet im still comitting a sin!

Perhaps this is a test for you ... Feelings are not a problem ... Same as thoughts ... as long as we don't act upon them.

[the-green-revol]

Maybe you dont love him sexually but more because of his character, like you said he is a good guy etc.
Just try and keep it for the sake of Allah and do not think about him much in any sinful sense.
Make duah and fast a lot. And pray Allah helps you :)

i know that, u guys dont wanna hear this, but i actually do fancy him, or at least i feel i do, what if i didnt fancy a women and only men what could i do, ive prayed to god to help me about this and i dont feel it has helped, must i go on forever without recieveing love back? is this gods way of telling me i should be on my own?

[tauheedul]

to tawbah and istighfar, This is the shaitan who is trying to lead you astray. Shaitan puts daft thoughts into everyones heads

should such a thing happen recite "aothubillahhi minashaitanir rajeem, bismillahir rahmanirrahim" repeatedly

I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM THE ACCURSED SATAN - IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THE BENEFICENT THE MERCIFUL

Always bear in mind homosecuality is forbidden and is greatly disliked by Allah and righfully so. Muslims should love there muslim brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah only. Bad thoughts are from the shaitan not you - do not give into the shaitan and you will be succesful.

[Desi_Madam]

"hes such a great friend of mine"
tell yourself that everytime you let your emotions control you.


stay away from him if you think your emotions will become stronger towards him.. and as Niqaabi sis advised, pray inshallah. you've got our prayers too inshallah - dont allow yourself to do something you know you'l regret. :)

God bless.

[Guardian Hijab]

Allah test those He love.

This is your test.

[MG]

ameen to all the duas and good advice from everyone.

Green revol, maybe allah is answering your prayers to turn u away from these feelings buy guiding u towards islam. Whatever u do dont stop praying, take refuge in allah swt from the shaitan (devil).

On one side shaitan seems to be pulling u (towards these unatural feelings for this guy) and on teh other side, allah swt is guiding u to success in this world and then next inshallah, through islam.

i advise u to stop meeting, or seeing this person until u knwo u have control over your feelings, however long that takes. Yes it will be hard as you sem to be good friends but u must protect yourself FIRST from any kind of sin. On the day of judgement, we will be by ourlselves with nothing but our deeds from this world. So the first thing u should do is stop contactwith this person.

may allah swt make it easy upon u.Ameen

[Universal_Islam]

Good to see sisters dealing with man-to-man issues :)

[stranger101]

Bro....if your financially able...just get married to a pious sister....for our Prophet (PBUH) reccomends such actions, because when you marry at a young age, you will not be promted to do haram stuff....and inshaAllah you will only like your wife more than the friend you talk about :)

As some brothers/sisters said....sincerely pray to Allah(swt) and always hope for the best, keep on doing Istikhara, wait up till midnight and do Tahajjud and then make Tawbah to Allah.

If i was u....i would wanna get married straight away bro :D

[islam-truth]

Good to see sisters dealing with man-to-man issues :)

Salaam

May be you should have from distance from him for awhile to see if the feelings go away.

[the-green-revol]

ameen to all the duas and good advice from everyone.

Green revol, maybe allah is answering your prayers to turn u away from these feelings buy guiding u towards islam. Whatever u do dont stop praying, take refuge in allah swt from the shaitan (devil).

On one side shaitan seems to be pulling u (towards these unatural feelings for this guy) and on teh other side, allah swt is guiding u to success in this world and then next inshallah, through islam.

i advise u to stop meeting, or seeing this person until u knwo u have control over your feelings, however long that takes. Yes it will be hard as you sem to be good friends but u must protect yourself FIRST from any kind of sin. On the day of judgement, we will be by ourlselves with nothing but our deeds from this world. So the first thing u should do is stop contactwith this person.

may allah swt make it easy upon u.Ameen


thanks so much for your advice, i need to have a hard think about things, we go college together and hes in my class to its hard to avoid him, but it is ok to love him still isnt it? what if i just loved him as a brother like instead? would that be better? i need to have a hard think and sort myself out, ive tried what you have said, keep away from him, but when i see him again i start to feel that way again, if i can change it into a kind of brotherly love maybe it can be accepted more!

i friend once told me when i told them about the situation that god will love you for who you are as he made you, as long as i am good, then he will love me all the same! maybe this isnt true, although i feel hard done by, gods ruling should be respected, who am i to change the rules? maybe if i can control my feelings on earth, when i die he may allow me, i dunno, i need to thik about it allot!!

cheers for the replies though guys, i apreciate your help!

[MG]

[quote=the-green-revol]thanks so much for your advice, i need to have a hard think about things, we go college together and hes in my class to its hard to avoid him, but it is ok to love him still isnt it? what if i just loved him as a brother like instead? would that be better? i need to have a hard think and sort myself out, ive tried what you have said, keep away from him, but when i see him again i start to feel that way again, if i can change it into a kind of brotherly love maybe it can be accepted more!

as a brother on here said b4, brotherly is ok, its only wen u go beyond that , shaitaan starts leading u astray. If u keep away from him Green revol, u need to be completely away, as in dont see him, u might think im being melodramatic but if u feel that these feelings could lead u to sin, then i seriously suggest u look at going to another college.

i friend once told me when i told them about the situation that god will love you for who you are as he made you, as long as i am good, then he will love me all the same! maybe this isnt true, although i feel hard done by, gods ruling should be respected, who am i to change the rules? maybe if i can control my feelings on earth, when i die he may allow me, i dunno, i need to thik about it allot!!

green revol, please dont fall for this "god will live u no matter what u do" garbage, thats wat it is , garbage. This is jus an excuse for sinful people to do all the wrong things they want without feeling any guilt.The way u are feeling guilty for the feelings u have , is the correct way to feel, please pray and if u can get married, like a brother said , do so.

[the-green-revol]

[quote=the-green-revol]thanks so much for your advice, i need to have a hard think about things, we go college together and hes in my class to its hard to avoid him, but it is ok to love him still isnt it? what if i just loved him as a brother like instead? would that be better? i need to have a hard think and sort myself out, ive tried what you have said, keep away from him, but when i see him again i start to feel that way again, if i can change it into a kind of brotherly love maybe it can be accepted more!

as a brother on here said b4, brotherly is ok, its only wen u go beyond that , shaitaan starts leading u astray. If u keep away from him Green revol, u need to be completely away, as in dont see him, u might think im being melodramatic but if u feel that these feelings could lead u to sin, then i seriously suggest u look at going to another college.

i friend once told me when i told them about the situation that god will love you for who you are as he made you, as long as i am good, then he will love me all the same! maybe this isnt true, although i feel hard done by, gods ruling should be respected, who am i to change the rules? maybe if i can control my feelings on earth, when i die he may allow me, i dunno, i need to thik about it allot!!

green revol, please dont fall for this "god will live u no matter what u do" garbage, thats wat it is , garbage. This is jus an excuse for sinful people to do all the wrong things they want without feeling any guilt.The way u are feeling guilty for the feelings u have , is the correct way to feel, please pray and if u can get married, like a brother said , do so.


ok if i was to get married, who do i get married too? i dont know any fellow muslim girls, nevermind any of them wanting to marry me! id prefer an asian muslim women but are there any that would go with a handsome white man, lol, how do i get married straight away? and to whom?


sorry, i just go on and on and on dont i?:rolleyes:

[dhakiyya]

i have a big problem, i wanna convert so bad,

brother I have read your posts and understand that this is very difficult for you, may Allah help you to overcome this problem.

the first thing in you post struck me though........

if you want to convert, go right ahead and convert, take your shahada ASAP. we all have things that we are battling against, some have harder battles than others, but the best advice I was given when I was thinking about Islam and had doubts about one thing and another.......... a brother advised me to come to Islam and start praying and not worry about the other things just yet. You don't have to be perfect before you convert to Islam - otherwise no-one would be able to convert ever.

I'm not saying that the minute you convert your problem will go away, but it will make you closer to Allah and increase your iman (faith) and you will be learning to pray and everything else, and that insha'Allah will help you a lot.

If you try to wait until you have got over this problem before converting - to me that sounds like another trick of the shaytaan... not only trying to tempt you to sin but also stopping you from coming to Islam. Half of what the shaytaan is trying to do to you you can overcome just by taking your shahada.

[miss-islamic]

There is a book by Ibn al-Qayyim for Muslims with homosexual feelings..i will find it for you…

[the-green-revol]

brother I have read your posts and understand that this is very difficult for you, may Allah help you to overcome this problem.

the first thing in you post struck me though........

if you want to convert, go right ahead and convert, take your shahada ASAP. we all have things that we are battling against, some have harder battles than others, but the best advice I was given when I was thinking about Islam and had doubts about one thing and another.......... a brother advised me to come to Islam and start praying and not worry about the other things just yet. You don't have to be perfect before you convert to Islam - otherwise no-one would be able to convert ever.

I'm not saying that the minute you convert your problem will go away, but it will make you closer to Allah and increase your iman (faith) and you will be learning to pray and everything else, and that insha'Allah will help you a lot.

If you try to wait until you have got over this problem before converting - to me that sounds like another trick of the shaytaan... not only trying to tempt you to sin but also stopping you from coming to Islam. Half of what the shaytaan is trying to do to you you can overcome just by taking your shahada.


nice way of seeing it, maybe that is what shaytaan is trying to do, well i have to make sure he doesnt procede in Knocking my confidence in my faith.

[Niqaabi]

i know that, u guys dont wanna hear this, but i actually do fancy him, or at least i feel i do, what if i didnt fancy a women and only men what could i do, ive prayed to god to help me about this and i dont feel it has helped, must i go on forever without recieveing love back? is this gods way of telling me i should be on my own?
Well this is all a test. You have strive and believe me i know a person who was in the position, well similar and now they dont have this porblem anymore :alhumdull. Dont worry this is just a phase, be strong and keep your feelings to yourself.
Make plenty of sincere duah, and seriously try fasting it really does help!

[wizard]

shaitan creates false desires in your heart. seek refuge with allah from shaitan the rejected one.

"gay-ism" is not accepted in islam. allah punished the people of loot (as) for this. even the wife of loot (as) was not spared. and, if i remember correctly, the whole place was covered in storm for 8 days and 8 nights. can you imagine being in a tornado for that long without any break? i wasnt able to find the detailed incident but you might want to research into it. i have seen prophet loot's name spelled as "lut" also (in case that helps).

many homosexuals try to justify their behavior by saying that god has made them that way. if god made people homosexuals, he would not have made it a sin. people kill, steal, lie..does that mean they were born that way? no.

i suggest you contact a scholar of islamic sciences and ask him for help regarding your situation and how you can stop feeling the way you feel.

regarding marriage, i am not sure if your are in a condition to get married; however, i am not an alim so my answer cannot be definite. again, i strongly recommend that you get in touch with an alim and clarify your situation.


i don't know which school of jurisprudence you follow, so i took the liberty of finding some relevant information for you from the sources i trust.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1887&CATE=42
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2747&CATE=17
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4617&CATE=42

[wizard]

shaitan creates false desires in your heart. seek refuge with allah from shaitan the rejected one.

"gay-ism" is not accepted in islam. allah punished the people of loot (as) for this. even the wife of loot (as) was not spared. and, if i remember correctly, the whole place was covered in storm for 8 days and 8 nights. can you imagine being in a tornado for that long without any break? i wasnt able to find the detailed incident but you might want to research into it. i have seen prophet loot's name spelled as "lut" also (in case that helps).

many homosexuals try to justify their behavior by saying that god has made them that way. if god made people homosexuals, he would not have made it a sin. people kill, steal, lie..does that mean they were born that way? no.

i suggest you contact a scholar of islamic sciences and ask him for help regarding your situation and how you can stop feeling the way you feel.

regarding marriage, i am not sure if your are in a condition to get married; however, i am not an alim so my answer cannot be definite. again, i strongly recommend that you get in touch with an alim and clarify your situation.


i don't know which school of jurisprudence you follow, so i took the liberty of finding some relevant information for you from the sources i trust.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1887&CATE=42
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2747&CATE=17
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4617&CATE=42

[the-green-revol]

shaitan creates false desires in your heart. seek refuge with allah from shaitan the rejected one.

"gay-ism" is not accepted in islam. allah punished the people of loot (as) for this. even the wife of loot (as) was not spared. and, if i remember correctly, the whole place was covered in storm for 8 days and 8 nights. can you imagine being in a tornado for that long without any break? i wasnt able to find the detailed incident but you might want to research into it. i have seen prophet loot's name spelled as "lut" also (in case that helps).

many homosexuals try to justify their behavior by saying that god has made them that way. if god made people homosexuals, he would not have made it a sin. people kill, steal, lie..does that mean they were born that way? no.

i suggest you contact a scholar of islamic sciences and ask him for help regarding your situation and how you can stop feeling the way you feel.

regarding marriage, i am not sure if your are in a condition to get married; however, i am not an alim so my answer cannot be definite. again, i strongly recommend that you get in touch with an alim and clarify your situation.


i don't know which school of jurisprudence you follow, so i took the liberty of finding some relevant information for you from the sources i trust.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1887&CATE=42
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2747&CATE=17
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4617&CATE=42

cheers for the links mate, their helpful:up:

[the-green-revol]

There is a book by Ibn al-Qayyim for Muslims with homosexual feelings..i will find it for you…


please, that would help allot:up: ;)

[islamirama]

ok if i was to get married, who do i get married too? i dont know any fellow muslim girls, nevermind any of them wanting to marry me! id prefer an asian muslim women but are there any that would go with a handsome white man, lol, how do i get married straight away? and to whom?


sorry, i just go on and on and on dont i?:rolleyes:

i would advise against marrying while you are in this dilemma, best not to get a girl involved in this and ruin her life when you are not certain as to where you're heading. Also, you would need to convert before you can marry a muslim girl as they are allowed to marry muslim men only.

This is a sin that the peopl of Lut (prophet Lot) committed. Allah talks about this in the Quran stating that these people committed a sin no man had done before them. The city of ghamora and sodom (thus the name sodomy) were rampant in this evil sin and Allah destroyed them with a rain of fire and rocks from the heavens (possible asteroids and meterorites). Also, there's hadith (saying of the prophet s.a.w.) that says that "if you find someone doing the act of the people of the Lut (sodomy) then kill them". This is indeed a very evil sin that should be kept away from. This sin is so rampant in today's society, and Allah has punished them by sending a disease on upon them (Aids) and we can see do their sins, millions are dieing each year becuase of this disease which is brought upon those who engage in this act.

Inshallah read up as much as you can on this topic from islamic sites for islamic view and non-islamic sites that speak out against homosexuality for facts of its harmfulness and why it shouldn't be done. A good site to visit is www.islam-qa.com

[tamaz]

I think it should be pointed out that more 'straight' people have HIV than gays, and 70% of new cases in the UK are among west African immigrants. It is however obvious that those who have sex outside marriage (marriage being the only islamic condition for sex in the west), are infinitely more likely to get sexual diseases. Homosexuality is clearly forbidden in Islam, and as Muslims we should oppose it, but all humans tend to get hysterical about this matter; many worse sins are carried out, such as murder, and adultery with a married woman.

Some of you may be interested to know that in 1978 the Israeli Geophysical Survey discovered the remains of Sodom under the Dead Sea - the lowest place on earth. Geologists have proven that massive volcanic activity destroyed Sodom and Gommorah. This is another example of science proving true religion correct.

[*Muhammad*]

i have a big problem, i wanna convert so bad, but there is this dark cloud hanging over me. I am a guy in love with a guy, even though i know its wrong, i cant help my true feelings, he is a fellow muslim himself a very respectful person who is a fantastic guy. I have fell in love with him and have a desire to be with him. I know, i thought about it hundreds of times, its wrong, i shouldnt feel this way, but what if someone does? they are going against gods will, but what about how the person feels. Ive prayed to god hoping that one day ill wake up and not love him anymore, but it doesnt work, i feel i love him with all my heart. I have told him how i feel, and hes fine with it but dont feel the same way, hes such a great friend of mine, but how do i control my emotions, what if i feel this way to someone else in the future. I feel this in my heart, i cant tell you the pain it brings me, it hurts so bad, i want god to love me and forgive me for thinking like this, but how do i control it, the feelings i have for him are only good ones, but yet im still comitting a sin!

well , what's wrong with loving him, just love him, be kind to him and stop there , don't go further :)

[*Muhammad*]

i know that, u guys dont wanna hear this, but i actually do fancy him, or at least i feel i do, what if i didnt fancy a women and only men what could i do, ive prayed to god to help me about this and i dont feel it has helped, must i go on forever without recieveing love back? is this gods way of telling me i should be on my own?

life is temporary you know:) and our existence's purpose is to worship God, try to marry a girl you may love her in the long run:) inshallah

[*Muhammad*]

Always bear in mind homosecuality is forbidden and is greatly disliked by Allah and righfully so. Muslims should love there muslim brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah only. Bad thoughts are from the shaitan not you - do not give into the shaitan and you will be succesful.

and be careful to don't mislead that guy (who you love)some people turned gay after befriending gays

[*Muhammad*]

as Niqaabi sis advised, pray inshallah. you've got our prayers too inshallah
yeah let's pray to him, Amen:)

[*Muhammad*]

when i see him again i start to feel that way again,
no problem , when a guy see a girl he feels the same thing but will not have the same feelings after 4 years when he will see her, it will be reduced inshallah and will become normal:up:
cheers for the replies though guys, i apreciate your help!

we appreciate your attendance, thank you for listening to us :) welcome, anytime

[*Muhammad*]

green revol, please dont fall for this "god will live u no matter what u do" garbage, thats wat it is , garbage. This is jus an excuse for sinful people to do all the wrong things they want without feeling any guilt.The way u are feeling guilty for the feelings u have , is the correct way to feel, please pray and if u can get married, like a brother said , do so.

Allah stated:
Muhammad Al-Hilali & Muhsin Khan:

[003:031] Say (O Muhammad to mankind): "If you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept Islamic Monotheism, follow the Quran and the Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

[*Muhammad*]

You don't have to be perfect before you convert to Islam - otherwise no-one would be able to convert ever.
wow :) mashallah

If you try to wait until you have got over this problem before converting - to me that sounds like another trick of the shaytaan... not only trying to tempt you to sin but also stopping you from coming to Islam. Half of what the shaytaan is trying to do to you you can overcome just by taking your shahada.
Muhammad Al-Hilali & Muhsin Khan:

[003:102] O you who believe! Fear Allah (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. (Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always), and die not except in a state of Islam (as Muslims)
you don't know when you will die

[*Muhammad*]

nice way of seeing it, maybe that is what shaytaan is trying to do, well i have to make sure he doesnt procede in Knocking my confidence in my faith.

Muhammad Al-Hilali & Muhsin Khan:

[004:119] Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah." And whoever takes Shaitan (Satan) as a Walee (protector or helper) instead of Allah, has surely suffered a manifest loss.

Muhammad Al-Hilali & Muhsin Khan:

[007:027] O Children of Adam! Let not Shaitan (Satan) deceive you, as he got your parents (Adam and Hawwa (Eve)) out of Paradise
all the best :)

[*Muhammad*]

i would advise against marrying while you are in this dilemma, best not to get a girl involved in this and ruin her life when you are not certain as to where you're heading.

excuse me;)
Muhammad Al-Hilali & Muhsin Khan:

[011:078] And his people came rushing towards him, and since aforetime they used to commit crimes (sodomy, etc.), he said: "O my people! Here are my daughters , they are purer for you (if you marry them lawfully). So fear Allah and degrade me not as regards my guests! Is there not among you a single right-minded man?"
it is a part of the cure:)

[*Muhammad*]

I think it should be pointed out that more 'straight' people have HIV than gays, .

I think it should be pointed out that 'straight' people are more than gays;)