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100 Premarital Questions
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
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Not a perfect set of questions, but useful suggestions, for sure:
100 Premarital Questions
[sent by a subscriber]
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
As you know most masjids now and Islamic communities are doing what is called premarital counseling...this is before engagement or nikkah or anything just for the 2 prospects to really know one another. There is usually an imam who does 3 sessions or even more of premarital counseling in which the 2 individuals have to respond to a series of questions. Below is 100 questions that might be asked of your future prospect...it is to your advantage (especially sisters) to give this to your future husband if be so that you can get a better understanding of him. However, I recommend that ya'll do it with an imam b/c it is less bias and the true colors come out.
When I went to ICNA this past weekend, they were talking about the importance of premarital counseling. Most states are doing it now so you might want to contact your local masjid and see if the imam or marriage counselor has something of the sort.
100 Premarital Questions
What is your concept of marriage?
Have you been married before?
Are you married now?
What are you expectations of marriage?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
What is the role of religion in your life now?
Are you a spiritual person?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
What is the role of the husband?
What is the role of the wife?
Do you want to practice polygamy?
What is your relationship with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
How did you get to know them?
Why are they your friends?
What do you like most about them?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
What are the things that you do in your free time?
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
Do you travel?
How do you spend your vacations?
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
Do you read?
What do you read?
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
Do you like to write your feelings?
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
Do your friends use foul language?
Does your family use foul language?
How do you express anger?
How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
What do you do when you are angry?
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
How do you support your own health and nutrition?
What is you definition of wealth?
How do you spend money?
How do you save money?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
Do you use credit cards?
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
Do you believe in abortion?
Do you have children now?
What is your relationship with your children now?
What is your relationship with their other parent?
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
What is the best method(s) of raising children?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
How were you raised?
How were you disciplined?
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
Do you believe in public school for your children?
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
Woah........:S.....that would be one heck of a long conversation!!!!....lol
Jazakullah khayr sis.......mashallah
muslim_sis
09-04-06, 07:05 PM
Woah........:S!!!.
thats exactly wat i was like,woah , 100 questions :eek: lol suppose its a serious matter :rolleyes:
well if he/she still wants u after that interrogation, their the one! ;)
Mr_Jailer
09-04-06, 07:14 PM
100 Premarital Questions
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
:rolleyes:
muslimah85
09-04-06, 07:15 PM
Are you a spiritual person?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
Do you travel?
How do you spend your vacations?
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
a must! :up: :inlove:
well if he/she still wants u after that interrogation, their the one! ;)
LOL!!!!!!!!
That is very true actually!!!!!.........but does that mean he might fire the same questions BACK at you...:S....
I dont think I could talk about myself for that long....:S
Damn, that seriously is a long convo..........lol
LOL!!!!!!!!
That is very true actually!!!!!.........but does that mean he might fire the same questions BACK at you...:S....
I dont think I could talk about myself for that long....:S
Damn, that seriously is a long convo..........lol
im sure he would allow you a tea break :D
:rolleyes:]
:)
i think depenedant on what kinda person u are, u can pick and choose what is poor important to u
muslim_sis
09-04-06, 07:20 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!
That is very true actually!!!!!.........but does that mean he might fire the same questions BACK at you...:S....
I dont think I could talk about myself for that long....:S
Damn, that seriously is a long convo..........lol
lol it IS 100 questions woah
lol MG u joka :p
Mr_Jailer
09-04-06, 07:21 PM
well if he/she still wants u after that interrogation, their the one! ;)
Marriage inquisitaion :rolleyes:
Its like an exam....lol.....have the questions on a peice of paper in front of you....any peeking or fake responses deserve automatic failure...lol
No actually, the questions relating to health etc, anger...are not ones I would have immediately thought of.....interesting.......
Marriage inquisitaion :rolleyes:
hmmmm , im running out of replies to your negative responses!
Its like a job interview :nervous:
Its like a job interview
a job forever :nervous:
Ar-Raya
09-04-06, 09:27 PM
A job forever
It's so much more than that...
Choosing the right person to marry,Is choosing your best friend forever...
Someone that would hold your secrets close to their heart and reveal them to noone...
Someone who won't go back to sleep until you have gotten up and prayed your fajr salah...
Someone whom you wake up and stand next to,lengthening your salah during the last part of the night...
Someone whom you can playfully compete to increase your islamic knowledge and together become closer to Allah...(InshaAllah)
Someone whom you want to spend all the best moments of your youth and old age with...And InshaAllah ta'ala be with in Jannah
Someone whom you would want to be with during the most difficult and testing time in their lives...
It is not a decision to make lightly,but Alhumdulilah it's a wonderful feeling when you are sure that you have found someone that you could spend forever with...MashAllah...Alhumdulilahi Rabbil Alamin
It's like a job in the way that there is a contract and each member has his/her roles to play...
But it's so much better than any job...
Tahiyah
09-04-06, 09:27 PM
alhamdulillah, thank you for sharing these
some of them are really good questions to ask a young man interested in marrying your daughter
alhamdulillah, thank you for sharing these
some of them are really good questions to ask a young man interested in marrying your daughter
Subhanallah..........now THATS scary........lol
I feel sorry for the poor guy, imagine having a MUM or DAD firing these at you!!!!..........
:nervous:.......:outta:
Arsalan
10-04-06, 09:22 AM
dats too long man. i think ill print it out and pass it on to the needy.
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 09:25 AM
Subhanallah..........now THATS scary........lol
I feel sorry for the poor guy, imagine having a MUM or DAD firing these at you!!!!..........
:nervous:.......:outta:
exactly firing those questions at you , its not nice to be made to feel so uneasy , i probly wudnt answer all of those ,lol.
i personally think these questions can be broken up in stages, as in, wen u first meet, u could ask about family, marriage wise what he expects of his wife etcc
and then maybe as the meetings go on, u can go into the more intimate questions, about health etc (only if at the point u r sure ur gonna marry him "
ummbilal
10-04-06, 12:15 PM
these questions are important as a starting point but bare in mind people change and their views on things change too,
eg when i was 16 my goals were very different to my goals today,
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 12:48 PM
i personally think these questions can be broken up in stages, as in, wen u first meet, u could ask about family, marriage wise what he expects of his wife etcc
and then maybe as the meetings go on, u can go into the more intimate questions, about health etc (only if at the point u r sure ur gonna marry him "
yeh suppose so and guess it depends on how much u know about the person already.
Salman Al-Farsi
10-04-06, 12:55 PM
All of these questions are irrelevant imho, except one or two.
I dont believe answers to any of these questions will lead to finding happy marriage parnter,
Arsalan
10-04-06, 12:58 PM
Marriage is overrated and proper missions. If it werent for the islamic recommendation on it , id allow it proper.
ur_yusra
10-04-06, 01:02 PM
Marriage is overrated and proper missions. If it werent for the islamic recommendation on it , id allow it proper.
lol.. subhanAllah..
marriage is such a thing.. you love it and you hate it at the same time..
Salman Al-Farsi
10-04-06, 01:03 PM
Marriage is overrated and proper missions. If it werent for the islamic recommendation on it , id allow it proper.
too late mate.
Its waste of time thinking about marriage.
Arsalan
10-04-06, 01:06 PM
^ trust man , the idea of sharing your life with some person, and resposbilitility and then dealing with all the chattiness and blah de blah blah blah of the other person is proper a heavy load to carry.. and some people always demand attention like little babies.
mayby todays quality of partners is not good enuff , dunno.
Yep marriage is missions finding the right person...its not going to be easy....may involve a lot of stress.....probably a lot of headache.....Id probably allow it and all if it werent so highly recommended in Islam...
But of course it is recommended with wisdom......and at the end of it...inshallah....the benefit is having a life long companion.....Id rather go through stress to find the right person, then to take the easy option and end up with someone that may not even be right for me....or simply die alone..old and wrinkly....:S
^ trust man , the idea of sharing your life with some person, and resposbilitility and then dealing with all the chattiness and blah de blah blah blah of the other person is proper a heavy load to carry.. and some people always demand attention like little babies.
mayby todays quality of partners is not good enuff , dunno.
Hmmmm............thats harsh......I dont think thats true at all...... I think if people have attitudes like that....no wonder your stressed :D
Arsalan
10-04-06, 01:15 PM
^Just my thoughts... a bit selfish as it is.
Id rather die alone and wrinkly . "Life long partner" ... mayby its just me, but that just messes up your life and how you wont it to go. Instead your leading a life with the other person and their baggage ( kidds , family , needs ) constantly in da scheme.And its impossible to shut em out.
That is just out of order.
Thankfully iam sure in Jannah , its not like this. Id recommend da crew here to waite for jannah marriage , aite...
Id rather die alone and wrinkly . "Life long partner" ... mayby its just me, but that just messes up your life and how you wont it to go. Instead your leading a life with the other person and their baggage ( kidds , family , needs ) constantly in da scheme.And its impossible to shut em out.
that is just out of order.
Eh???? 'THEIR BAGGAGE'???? last time I checked, the kids, family and needs would be your baggage and all......
'shut em out'..........sheesh.......why would you want to??? They are you family?????........
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 02:10 PM
Thankfully iam sure in Jannah , its not like this. Id recommend da crew here to waite for jannah marriage , aite...
well we wont be getting there (to jannah) if we dont follow the prophets practises and accept his advise, so lets stop dreaming of what we're gonna get in the hereafter , but rather work for it, by followin the example of the prophet (s.a.w)
Allah knows us better than we know ourselves , he is our creator , he knows how he has created us...
''and among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has out love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect'' (quran 30:21)
... The prophet said '' the best of you are those who are best to their wives'' he also said ''whoever is deprived of rifq(kindness and gentleness) is deprived of all virtues'' (muslim)
so i think the problem lies with us and how much we adopt the behaviour of the prophet into our lives ... surely islam is the best way of life , and islam encourages marriage, so are we doubting that it isnt part of a best life!?
Al-Irhaab
10-04-06, 02:11 PM
What is your concept of marriage? huh?
Have you been married before? No
Are you married now? No
What are you expectations of marriage? Pain and pleasure
What are your goals in life? (long and short term) Short term marriage long term being shaheed ..
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future. getting married, staying married, dying..
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term. same as above
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse? stupidity
What is the role of religion in your life now? huh?
Are you a spiritual person? yes?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage? man,woman, wali, witnesses, imam saab, nikah,
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously? Obediance
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area? Good..
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities? Yes
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually? feel like shes married an angel :D
What is the role of the husband? Providor..
What is the role of the wife? Washing, Ironing, Feeding, Entertainment, Looking after Kids
Do you want to practice polygamy? Is there any man who doesnt :rolleyes:
What is your relationship with your family? Good
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be? Good
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be? Good
Is there anyone in your family living with you now? No
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future? Yeah MY wife my Kids :rolleyes:
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done? You Should Grow Up
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.) none of your buisness
How did you get to know them? Do you work for mi5?
Why are they your friends? No Comment!
What do you like most about them? No Comment
What will your relationship with them after marriage be? No Comment
Do you have friends of the opposite sex? Taubah Taubah
What is the level of your relationship with them now? Taubah
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage? Taubah
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends? Taubah
What are the things that you do in your free time? Havent had much free time answering these questions
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment? Only My Wife
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house? Make tea go upstairs until we need some more
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family) Learn them then
Do you travel? Yes
How do you spend your vacations? With Friends
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations? At Home
Do you read? Yes
What do you read? Books
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally? Depends :D
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public? No
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now? Words
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you? Words
Do you like to write your feelings? Will You marry me If I say Yes :(
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize? ERrr what do you think?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you? errr with thir mouth
How much time passes before you can forgive someone? err 5 mins?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life? toss a coin
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family? tobah tobah
Do your friends use foul language? just manni but hes mentally retarded
Does your family use foul language? you ever met a punjabi family?
How do you express anger? Punch something
How do you expect your spouse to express anger? on someone else
What do you do when you are angry? Hit Something
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage? When you want to marry someone :D
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved? Obey husband
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. Writing this
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused? errr
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused? 999
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition? errrr
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage? huh u mean like an aids test?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition? cant stand fat women
How do you support your own health and nutrition? err what?
What is you definition of wealth? bling bling
How do you spend money? with my hands
How do you save money? cpr?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage? Dont ask
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them? planning a bank robbery
Do you use credit cards? only other peoples
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home? no
What are you expecting from your spouse financially? not to spend too much
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage? food clothing shelter
Do you support the idea of a working wife? does not compute
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds? does not compute
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances? does not compute
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible? does not compute
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids? hell no
Do you want to have children? If not, how come? yes
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children? errr yes
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when? errr yes
Do you believe in abortion? no
Do you have children now? not that i know of
What is your relationship with your children now? tobah tobah
What is your relationship with their other parent? tobah tobah
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent? huh
What is the best method(s) of raising children? wot?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children? slapping
How were you raised? at home
How were you disciplined? beats
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances? why spank when u can slap
Do you believe in public school for your children? no
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children? yes
Do you believe in home schooling for your children? what the heck man i already said islamic school
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends? do dawah or stay away from them
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country? my family yes your family no
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents? good
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them? NONE!]
Ar-Raya
10-04-06, 02:24 PM
*frowns* ...some of the people in this thread...
Have you not read the ayat...Perhaps you like something that is bad for you and you dislike something that is good for you (not an exact quote,can't remember the surah)
But Marriage has been prescribed for you...As in...Like a prescription against an ailment...It protects you from a lot of things...
And through it you are rewarded for a lot of things...
True it is stressful etc etc...But you are rewarded for your patience through times of difficulty and stress...
what was that other quote...Not a thorn pricks a believer except that his sins are forgiven through it...
hardship brings forgiveness...
Some of you are making it sound like being married is just having an extra person to take care of...someone to nag you,moan at you,and someone that you have to drag around and pay travel expenses for...
(BAGGAGE)...
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT MARRIAGE IS...
And if you are older than 25 and still not married,still not thinking of getting married and don't want to get married...then there is something wrong with you...
PERHAPS YOU SAY ..."BUT I WANT TO LIVE BEFORE I GET MARRIED"....
but that suggests that after you get married you'll be burdened and unable to do anything...THIS IS NOT TRUE...
You can still do all that you want when you are married,BUT you have the SUPPORT and CARE of someone to be there when times are difficult...
perhaps I'm taking the comments a little too seriously...with regards to the childish and imature nature of some of the members on here toward marriage...
May Allah ta'ala guide you and myself to that which pleases Him...
And may He make our hearts enjoy it...
Arsalan
10-04-06, 02:27 PM
iam already married ( yeh i know i feel sorry for her too ) so i talk from a valid pov, however biased or slefish or wrong it mayby. BTW i dont argue with the Quran and the SUnnah of the Prophet as that is the best guidance. I was only talking from a POV.
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 02:29 PM
*frowns* ...some of the people in this thread...
Have you not read the ayat...Perhaps you like something that is bad for you and you dislike something that is good for you (not an exact quote,can't remember the surah)
...
''...it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know'' (quran 2:216)
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 02:30 PM
iam already married ( yeh i know i feel sorry for her too ) so i talk from a valid pov, however biased or slefish or wrong it mayby. BTW i dont argue with the Quran and the SUnnah of the Prophet as that is the best guidance. I was only talking from a POV.
well sorry to sound harsh but if u and ur wife are following the quran and sunnah , u shouldnt have to say comments like that !
ur_yusra
10-04-06, 02:32 PM
What is your concept of marriage? huh?
Have you been married before? No
Are you married now? No
What are you expectations of marriage? Pain and pleasure
What are your goals in life? (long and short term) Short term marriage long term being shaheed ..
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future. getting married, staying married, dying..
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term. same as above
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse? stupidity
What is the role of religion in your life now? huh?
Are you a spiritual person? yes?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage? man,woman, wali, witnesses, imam saab, nikah,
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously? Obediance
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area? Good..
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities? Yes
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually? feel like shes married an angel :D
What is the role of the husband? Providor..
What is the role of the wife? Washing, Ironing, Feeding, Entertainment, Looking after Kids
Do you want to practice polygamy? Is there any man who doesnt :rolleyes:
What is your relationship with your family? Good
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be? Good
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be? Good
Is there anyone in your family living with you now? No
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future? Yeah MY wife my Kids :rolleyes:
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done? You Should Grow Up
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.) none of your buisness
How did you get to know them? Do you work for mi5?
Why are they your friends? No Comment!
What do you like most about them? No Comment
What will your relationship with them after marriage be? No Comment
Do you have friends of the opposite sex? Taubah Taubah
What is the level of your relationship with them now? Taubah
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage? Taubah
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends? Taubah
What are the things that you do in your free time? Havent had much free time answering these questions
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment? Only My Wife
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house? Make tea go upstairs until we need some more
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family) Learn them then
Do you travel? Yes
How do you spend your vacations? With Friends
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations? At Home
Do you read? Yes
What do you read? Books
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally? Depends :D
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public? No
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now? Words
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you? Words
Do you like to write your feelings? Will You marry me If I say Yes :(
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize? ERrr what do you think?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you? errr with thir mouth
How much time passes before you can forgive someone? err 5 mins?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life? toss a coin
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family? tobah tobah
Do your friends use foul language? just manni but hes mentally retarded
Does your family use foul language? you ever met a punjabi family?
How do you express anger? Punch something
How do you expect your spouse to express anger? on someone else
What do you do when you are angry? Hit Something
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage? When you want to marry someone :D
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved? Obey husband
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. Writing this
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused? errr
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused? 999
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition? errrr
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage? huh u mean like an aids test?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition? cant stand fat women
How do you support your own health and nutrition? err what?
What is you definition of wealth? bling bling
How do you spend money? with my hands
How do you save money? cpr?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage? Dont ask
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them? planning a bank robbery
Do you use credit cards? only other peoples
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home? no
What are you expecting from your spouse financially? not to spend too much
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage? food clothing shelter
Do you support the idea of a working wife? does not compute
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds? does not compute
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances? does not compute
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible? does not compute
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids? hell no
Do you want to have children? If not, how come? yes
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children? errr yes
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when? errr yes
Do you believe in abortion? no
Do you have children now? not that i know of
What is your relationship with your children now? tobah tobah
What is your relationship with their other parent? tobah tobah
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent? huh
What is the best method(s) of raising children? wot?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children? slapping
How were you raised? at home
How were you disciplined? beats
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances? why spank when u can slap
Do you believe in public school for your children? no
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children? yes
Do you believe in home schooling for your children? what the heck man i already said islamic school
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends? do dawah or stay away from them
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country? my family yes your family no
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents? good
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them? NONE!]
potential spouse's response after the intense questioning --> 'Right excellent, My father will show you the way to the door.. cheerio :)'
*frowns* ...some of the people in this thread...
Have you not read the ayat...Perhaps you like something that is bad for you and you dislike something that is good for you (not an exact quote,can't remember the surah)
But Marriage has been prescribed for you...As in...Like a prescription against an ailment...It protects you from a lot of things...
And through it you are rewarded for a lot of things...
True it is stressful etc etc...But you are rewarded for your patience through times of difficulty and stress...
what was that other quote...Not a thorn pricks a believer except that his sins are forgiven through it...
hardship brings forgiveness...
Some of you are making it sound like being married is just having an extra person to take care of...someone to nag you,moan at you,and someone that you have to drag around and pay travel expenses for...
(BAGGAGE)...
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT MARRIAGE IS...
And if you are older than 25 and still not married,still not thinking of getting married and don't want to get married...then there is something wrong with you...
PERHAPS YOU SAY ..."BUT I WANT TO LIVE BEFORE I GET MARRIED"....
but that suggests that after you get married you'll be burdened and unable to do anything...THIS IS NOT TRUE...
You can still do all that you want when you are married,BUT you have the SUPPORT and CARE of someone to be there when times are difficult...
perhaps I'm taking the comments a little too seriously...with regards to the childish and imature nature of some of the members on here toward marriage...
May Allah ta'ala guide you and myself to that which pleases Him...
And may He make our hearts enjoy it...
u go tell'em sis, sheesh ! some of the comments from brothers on here jus dont make sense to me :confused:
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 02:34 PM
potential spouse's response after the intense questioning --> 'Right excellent, My father will show you the way to the door.. cheerio :)'
which proves the point salman made , it being a waste of time, well for people who arent serious :)
too late mate.
Its waste of time thinking about marriage.
:scratch:
Ar-Raya
10-04-06, 02:35 PM
''...it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know'' (quran 2:216)
jazakallah Khair ...May Allah reward you with a pious husband whom may benefit you as much as you may benefit him,You've given a lot of good advise on the marriage related threads recently...MashaAllah...
May Allah ta'ala give us all patience...
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 02:37 PM
jazakallah Khair ...May Allah reward you with a pious husband whom may benefit you as much as you may benefit him,You've given a lot of good advise on the marriage related threads recently...MashaAllah...
May Allah ta'ala give us all patience...
inshallah ta'ala ameen
Ar-Raya
10-04-06, 02:39 PM
u go tell'em sis, sheesh ! some of the comments from brothers on here jus dont make sense to me
*smiles*...Is my style of writing really that feminine...MashAllah...
perhaps I should start my posts off with things like...*grrr*...or something else that's stereotypically masculine...hmm?
ukhti-I'm a BROTHER(With almost a fist length BEARD,yeah I know...but it doesnt grow very fast...and it's kinda curly)
...although don't feel bad...Your around the 20th person that has made that mistake from reading my comments...
Although now I'm beginning to wonder what it is that makes people think that...hmmm?
*smiles*...Is my style of writing really that feminine...MashAllah...
perhaps I should start my posts off with things like...*grrr*...or something else that's stereotypically masculine...hmm?
ukhti-I'm a BROTHER(With almost a fist length BEARD,yeah I know...but it doesnt grow very fast...and it's kinda curly)
...although don't feel bad...Your around the 20th person that has made that mistake from reading my comments...
Although now I'm beginning to wonder what it is that makes people think that...hmmm?
oh, im really sorry brother, ill give u a rep for that :)
Al-ghurabah
10-04-06, 02:54 PM
Has Any1 Asked These Question. Imagine That.. In The Hot Seat Having To Answer All Those Questions. Id Run Away. Say Forget Marraige Man..
muslim_sis
10-04-06, 05:17 PM
Thankfully iam sure in Jannah , its not like this. Id recommend da crew here to waite for jannah marriage , aite...
well we wont be getting there (to jannah) if we dont follow the prophets practises and accept his advise, so lets stop dreaming of what we're gonna get in the hereafter , but rather work for it, by followin the example of the prophet (s.a.w)
Allah knows us better than we know ourselves , he is our creator , he knows how he has created us...
''and among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has out love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect'' (quran 30:21)
... The prophet said '' the best of you are those who are best to their wives'' he also said ''whoever is deprived of rifq(kindness and gentleness) is deprived of all virtues'' (muslim)
so i think the problem lies with us and how much we adopt the behaviour of the prophet into our lives ... surely islam is the best way of life , and islam encourages marriage, so are we doubting that it isnt part of a best life!?
Mr_Jailer
10-04-06, 05:56 PM
What kinda answers are you lookin' for to these questions?
Bottom line u have to compromise... 'cos no-one will giv u answers to what ur lookin' for... n besides aftermarriage, ppls circumstances change, and what was important before marriage may not be an issue afterwards.
umm_musa
10-04-06, 10:48 PM
Nice list! Wish I asked all those before I got married! lol:hidban:
OthaEllen
20-04-06, 06:14 PM
These are all good questions which should be answered before marriage. Failure to understand a person before marriage may result in unnecessary arguments and/or divorce.
Niqaabi
20-04-06, 06:19 PM
The only question i would ask:
Are you sure you want to marry me? :rolleyes: (yes the rolleyes is a must in that sentence)
Lol, these questions are joke man. Were posted in bros section already. I will personally ask my potential spouse pretty a lot of these questions inshaAllah, but over a period of time and drop it in, not like I'm interrogating. If you ask all them at once its like a blooming A level exam.
Imagine they answer perfectly to all your questions, your all happy and ready to say yes , just need to answer the last question and then...
OK, sis/bro, sorry about all that, last question then we can proceed.
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
He/She replies: Sexual.
:rubeyes: Nooooooo
Lol, these questions are joke man. Were posted in bros section already. I will personally ask my potential spouse pretty a lot of these questions inshaAllah, but over a period of time and drop it in, not like I'm interrogating. If you ask all them at once its like a blooming A level exam.
Imagine they answer perfectly to all your questions, your all happy and ready to say yes , just need to answer the last question and then...
OK, sis/bro, sorry about all that, last question then we can proceed.
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
He/She replies: Sexual.
:rubeyes: Nooooooo
i think caution them b4 u start the interrogation and what will happen if they dont answer them honestly.........
HamnahBintJahsh
12-05-06, 11:42 AM
Alot of Questions..!
Alot of Questions..!
Yeh but if anything, I think they are rather excellent as a test of how the other person responds under pressure and interrogation...I mean, thats an important quality to assess you know :rolleyes:
muslimah85
12-05-06, 06:24 PM
:salams
I could never even imagine sitting with someone for marraige purposes and asking them a bunch of questions as if its a job interview :scratch:,
People can lie :freedom:, be decietful, exaggerate theres no way you can get to know someones true colours by using that method, some people will say anything to please and look good :confused:
moreover its important to get to know them informally over a period of time and do background checks on them. Those questions can be exactly asked just not in the interview method type! :p
id feel very intimidated if someone asked me those questions in an interview style and very uneasy!
:wswrwb:
muslim_sis
12-05-06, 07:34 PM
People can lie :freedom:, be decietful, exaggerate theres no way you can get to know someones true colours by using that method, some people will say anything to please and look good :confused:
thats true , i dont think it should be like a job interview , like question >answer , like they are robots ...
but how would u suggest the saying, ''actions speak louder than words'' ,would fit into this ??
muslimah85
12-05-06, 08:00 PM
thats true , i dont think it should be like a job interview , like question >answer , like they are robots ...
but how would u suggest the saying, ''actions speak louder than words'' ,would fit into this ??
by checking out their character getting to know them over a period of time seeing them in a different light, mere questions is far too easy! :)
Job interview.......why not eh??
Personally I think they should be asked as short-fire questions, asked really quickly and answered within a time limit, preferably yes/no answers where applicable, connected up to a lie-detector and a heart rate monitor thingy machines...any stuttering or uneasiness...they can count their footsteps to the door and take the mastermind seat and machines with them (no point wasting time disconnecting all them wires)..:D
*Im kidding by the way* :rolleyes:... Its true, ofcourse someone might just lie etc and they may just tell you what they think you want to hear or want....hence we should all invest in a lie detector....lol..hehe...
muslim_sis
12-05-06, 08:18 PM
Job interview.......why not eh??
Personally I think they should be asked as short-fire questions, asked really quickly and answered within a time limit, preferably yes/no answers where applicable, connected up to a lie-detector and a heart rate monitor thingy machines...any stuttering or uneasiness...they can count their footsteps to the door and take the mastermind seat and machines with them (no point wasting time disconnecting all them wires)..:D
*Im kidding by the way* :rolleyes:... Its true, ofcourse people can lie etc and they may just tell you what they think you want to hear or want....hence we should all invest in a lie detector.
then how dya deal with those who learn how to master the lie detector , so even though they are lying , u wont see it , coz they've learnt to control the detector (hey i saw that in a film , lol)
ur_yusra
12-05-06, 08:18 PM
Job interview.......why not eh??
Personally I think they should be asked as short-fire questions, asked really quickly and answered within a time limit, preferably yes/no answers where applicable, connected up to a lie-detector and a heart rate monitor thingy machines...any stuttering or uneasiness...they can count their footsteps to the door and take the mastermind seat and machines with them (no point wasting time disconnecting all them wires)..:D
*Im kidding by the way* :rolleyes:... Its true, ofcourse people can lie etc and they may just tell you what they think you want to hear or want....hence we should all invest in a lie detector.
LOL..
oh dear.. you may have a point.. where can we get one of them from then ..:D
I think its also good during marriage..
husband walks in late at night.. 'erm where have you been'? .. lie detector all the way.. :)
by the way does it work?
muslim_sis
12-05-06, 08:25 PM
when looking to make a decision , Allah has ordained that we ask his assistance , i.e. istikhara , so if your pleasing Allah and want to do things for the sake of Him , then Allah will give you whats best for you (so regardless of having a lie detector or not, Allah should be enough for us) & even after , when in a marriage, having taqwah should be enough for trust, not a lying detector ...
*read my sig
:rotfl:...looks like my lie detector idea is taking off, yusra lol...and yeh muslim sis might not even work...
look girls, the point is, even if dont work...you know, all the pressure and stuff....SCARE TACTIC....does he mind being put through all that, machines and black mastermind seat galore (might be an idea to hire that presenteryou know), walis at hand observing if not asking there own questions too, mum keeping an eye on him in the background...how does he react??? this is the question...muwahahahaha :evilb:
I mean, lets face it, its all largely for your own amusement but thats beside the point....:D
when looking to make a decision , Allah has ordained that we ask his assistance , i.e. istikhara , so if your pleasing Allah and want to do things for the sake of Him , then Allah will give you whats best for you (so regardless of having a lie detector or not, Allah should be enough for us) & even after , when in a marriage, having taqwah should be enough for trust, not a lying detector ...
*read my sig
Ofcourse sis, jazakullah khayr, ofcourse, inshallah Allah (swt) ordains the best for you, inshallah for this life and the akhirah, He (swt) is sufficient for us and as believers, we should put our tawwakal in Him alone, and he will rectify us of our affairs in the best manner... :)
Sorry, no more lie detector jokes :embar:
muslim_sis
12-05-06, 08:38 PM
Ofcourse sis, jazakullah khayr, ofcourse, inshallah Allah (swt) ordains the best for you, inshallah for this life and the akhirah, He (swt) is sufficient for us and as believers, we should put our tawwakal in Him alone, and he will rectify us of our affairs in the best manner... :)
Sorry, no more lie detector jokes :embar:
wa iyaaki
and ameen to dua!
:)
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
Is this premiership football or something? :rolleyes:
Way to destroy the whole trust thing...Jesus... :I
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 10:17 PM
Way to destroy the whole trust thing...Jesus... :I
Yeh but also way not to get an STD!
http://www.avert.org/stdstatisticuk.htm
Oh silly me, because Muslims are so into screwing people before marriage...
:eek: OH SNAP...
Meh, maybe youd do it for some lying jerk from the homeland, but then doesnt Istikhara come into it? If an isitkhara comes out good for you...doesnt it mean something?
:)
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 10:30 PM
Muslims are into drugs.. Muslims are into all sorts.. and often don't know the state of their own health.. and also having an illness (even an STD) doesn't necessarily imply wrongdoing on the persons part either!
I actually wouldn't be surprised at people wanting to get the prospective partners health checked out.. afterall you're probably going to know very very little about them, but by getting married are giving this person who is practically a stranger your whole life and body! Surely a check up is not much to ask beforehand.
However obviously if someone asked you personally to get checked out you'd most likely be like :eek3: what the heck is that about?
Muslims are into drugs.. Muslims are into all sorts.. and often don't know the state of their own health.. and also having an illness (even an STD) doesn't necessarily imply wrongdoing on the persons part either!
I actually wouldn't be surprised at people wanting to get the prospective partners health checked out.. afterall you're probably going to know very very little about them, but by getting married are giving this person who is practically a stranger your whole life and body! Surely a check up is not much to ask beforehand.
However obviously if someone asked you personally to get checked out you'd most likely be like :eek3: what the heck is that about?
exactly, im sorry but i would ask for them to get a check up but only once we knew we are defintely going to marry, im sure in this day and age a prospective husband or wife would agree....
Fine pansys, I wont ask for one, and you ask for one...
P.S. I am at no fault if my mum arranges one behind my back... :eek:
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 10:48 PM
exactly, im sorry but i would ask for them to get a check up but only once we knew we are defintely going to marry, im sure in this day and age a prospective husband or wife would agree....
I know it sounds really rude and many people would not bother asking or would feel bad asking.. but people can be really ignorant of how common std's are and the different ways they can be passed on, considering the drug problem amongst asian lads, i don't think it's unreasonable to ask at all.. also even from previous husband/wife and whatever else..
Was just reading up and:
Majority of people with std's don't know they have them.. and apparently blacks/asians are more prone to some!
Some STD's are caused by viruses which although not always active (so no symptoms) are still present in the body forever once they get in :eek: ..so the illness they cause can reoccur at any time.
Others are bacterial and go away after treatment.
Many are passed on to children via their mothers.
..so yeh, prevention is definately better than cure, especially when a) most people don't know they have an std, b) viruses causing them remain in the body, c) they get passed onto babies if the mother gets one..
Scary!
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 10:49 PM
Having said all that I still find it difficult to imagine asking anyone to have a medical examination.. it's like :eek3:
tht medical exam bit sounds like ya startin off onda wrong foot
I guess it depends on who you grow up with...
I don't intend to marry a slutty Muslim girl who wears a duputta and has her fat belly showing, whose out all the time and doesnt come back till late...Id probably end up marrying someone like me (a woman version of TEH, oh heavenly bliss), and if their parents and friends can vouch them...sometimes thats enough..
But then if youve grown up around chavvish kiddies, who do nothing but mess around all day, then maybe you would be worried, and yes I probably would be too...
Like I said though, Istikhara is a big deal... :)
hey now tht we gonna get married can i ask u to get checked for std's
:salams
ima say if ya want an easy life.... dont marry me :rolleyes:
a ninja always reads underneath the underneath :D
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 11:03 PM
Thats very naive little bro (the bit about depends who you grew up with and slutty muslim girl) .."every sinner has a future and every saint has a past" ..and "never judge a book by its cover".. and like I said, it doesn't necessarily imply wrongdoing!!
As for istikhara, good point. ..but its not a ticket to a problem free married life, you still have to do the leg work.
But everyones friends and parents can vouch for them!
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 11:05 PM
Besides noones saying everyone should do it.. but if people do ask the prospective spouse, I don't think thats a negative reflection of them, they obviously care about their health and that of their future kids/family.. and take things very seriously..
I think you'd have to be well brave to ever ask someone to get a medical examination anyway..
Thats very naive little bro (the bit about depends who you grew up with and slutty muslim girl) .."every sinner has a future and every saint has a past" ..and "never judge a book by its cover".. and like I said, it doesn't necessarily imply wrongdoing!!
As for istikhara, good point. ..but its not a ticket to a problem free married life, you still have to do the leg work.
But everyones friends and parents can vouch for them!
lol, why was it naive baji ji? I guess the whole he or she might have a past might be something, but then, thats why you talk to their friends and family, thats why you do istikhara...
And I know it isnt the ticket, but then it is a big factor in choosing a spouse...
And yes they can vouch for them, people dont usually lie, they usually tell the truth...so if she did come back late at night...then Im sure they would tell you, if someones sister was a bit dodgy in the past, I'm sure they'd tell you...Im not saying theyd say dodgy, but that other things that put you off...
And if it does, then fine, maybe you should ask for the test...but then again, Istikhara...
Imagine if you dream guy said no because you asked him to take an std test... (and dont come out with he wasnt your dream guy then.. :D )
I guess it depends on who you grow up with...
I don't intend to marry a slutty Muslim girl who wears a duputta and has her fat belly showing, whose out all the time and doesnt come back till late...Id probably end up marrying someone like me (a woman version of TEH, oh heavenly bliss), and if their parents and friends can vouch them...sometimes thats enough..
But then if youve grown up around chavvish kiddies, who do nothing but mess around all day, then maybe you would be worried, and yes I probably would be too...
Like I said though, Istikhara is a big deal... :)
being covered and slutty with your fat belly showing, does not necessarily mean you have an std.....brothers and sisters with really good reps from "family and friends" does not vouch for wether they have an std either,they cant see whats going on inside the person's body or what they have been doing behind their backs.
Asking someone for an std does not have to sound tactless or rude, u use some tact and explain how serious u are abnout the marriage, if it makes it easier, offer to have one together so u both feel at ease.
being covered and slutty with your fat belly showing, does not necessarily mean you have an std.....brothers and sisters with really good reps from "family and friends" does not vouch for wether they have an std either,they cant see whats going on inside the person's body or what they have been doing behind their backs.
I never said either does mean you have an std...it is just more likely...
I never said either does mean you have an std...it is just more likely...
so letssay the person your going to marry has had a "past" and your istikhara is "positive" would u be comfortable in knowing that this person has no std becos the istikhara came out positive?
Let's say my wife actually turns into shrek after Maghrib, but my istikhara is still positive...what would I do?
I guess each situation is different...and when the bridge comes, I'll cross it...
Let's say my wife actually turns into shrek after Maghrib, but my istikhara is still positive...what would I do?
I guess each situation is different...and when the bridge comes, I'll cross it...
hmmmmm........ur gonna ask her to take a test, i knew u would!! :D
Does a shrek test even exist? Who cares, Shrek is just Subhanaalah anyway... :love:
Does a shrek test even exist? Who cares, Shrek is hot anyway... :love:
well theres a test going for everything these days, so dont worry ,im sure u will be able to arrange for a "shrek test"
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 11:51 PM
lol, why was it naive baji ji? I guess the whole he or she might have a past might be something, but then, thats why you talk to their friends and family, thats why you do istikhara...
And I know it isnt the ticket, but then it is a big factor in choosing a spouse...
And yes they can vouch for them, people dont usually lie, they usually tell the truth...so if she did come back late at night...then Im sure they would tell you, if someones sister was a bit dodgy in the past, I'm sure they'd tell you...Im not saying theyd say dodgy, but that other things that put you off...
And if it does, then fine, maybe you should ask for the test...but then again, Istikhara...
Imagine if you dream guy said no because you asked him to take an std test... (and dont come out with he wasnt your dream guy then.. :D )
Bro it is naive.. because having an std may is NOT necessarily be an indicator of wrongdoing!
Do you know how common AIDS is in Africa for example? Do you think that indicates every AIDS sufferer in Africa or even the world is someone of questionable character? Of course not!
People can get it from past spouses, if they've been abused in the past,they could be born with it, used needles.. there are a whole host of ways!
And I can't believe you think a family member or friend of someone would tell a prospective spouse "oh yeh she came home late on such and such occasion" ..for starters coming home late is hardly an indication of wrongdoing?! :eek3: ..secondly it's just such a weird thing to say to a prospective spouse.. why on earth would you say anything like that about a family member or friend whose trying to get married, that'd be crazy!
Like I said, I'm not saying we should make it standard procedure or all do it.. some people could just never ask for a medical examination (i think it'd be rather tactless to say "have an std test". doubt anyone would put it that way )
But if someone does ask, what have you got to be offended about or hide?
Actually, call me sexist, but an unmarried woman I wouldn't be surprised if she got well offended and told you to get out of her house (fair play to her, lol) ..but a man shouldn't be :p
Afterall it's the woman that has the babies and has every right to look out for them, even before they are born :meow: ..Plus the woman is the one that is taking the biggest gamble and giving away the most in getting married. She is bound to obedience and fulfilling her husbands sexual rights.. she's most likely moving away from her family and will basically be living life according to the husbands idea's wants etc.
She's giving a hell of a lot in agreeing to get married.. so if a woman asks a guy for a medical examination.. I think the guy should be understanding and not act like it's above him to do that.. it just shows she is a careful, forward-thinking and cautious woman and that she cares for her health and that of any kids you may have toegther.. all of which are surely good qualities in a wife!
Chained_Water
21-07-06, 11:54 PM
Also we shouldn't be narrow-minded.. there are all sorts of other reasons someone may need to ask for a medical examination of any type... for example some people carry recessive genes which if in their spouse can lead to a much greater chance of certain diseases or disorders effecting their children.. if someone is aware of such issues they would definately ask for tests..
So it's not just STD's.. there may be many other issues involved that we wouldn't typically think of.
In either case though it is a matter of HEALTH that is the quetsion.. not a matter of good character.. and the result of a medical test is NOT an indicator of good or bad character or even of past wrongdoing.. it is NOT.. it just shows whether someone is ill or not.. it doesn't tell you ANYTHING else about them..
So to assume everyone with an STD has it through their own fault is very ignorant.
People can get it from past spouses, if they've been abused in the past,they could be born with it, used needles.. there are a whole host of ways!
Like I said, maybe in certain cases you would ask for one...and at others you wouldnt...
And I can't believe you think a family member or friend of someone would tell a prospective spouse "oh yeh she came home late on such and such occasion" ..for starters coming home late is hardly an indication of wrongdoing?! ..secondly it's just such a weird thing to say to a prospective spouse.. why on earth would you say anything like that about a family member or friend whose trying to get married, that'd be crazy!
Again, I think it depends on the family, if someone is fobbing you off..you can usually tell..and istikhara istikhara istikhara...you know, I think we are starting to talk about 2 different things now..
Like I said, I'm not saying we should make it standard procedure or all do it.. some people could just never ask for a medical examination (i think it'd be rather tactless to say "have an std test". doubt anyone would put it that way )
Except to be perfectly blunt, thats what the other persons gonna think...
Actually, call me sexist, but an unmarried woman I wouldn't be surprised if she got well offended and told you to get out of her house (fair play to her, lol) ..but a man shouldn't be
Arnt women like capable of carrying more STDs than men? Or more prone to them? :eek:
Afterall it's the woman that has the babies and has every right to look out for them, even before they are born ..Plus the woman is the one that is taking the biggest gamble and giving away the most in getting married. She is bound to obedience and fulfilling her husbands sexual rights.. she's most likely moving away from her family and will basically be living life according to the husbands idea's wants etc.
Yes and for us men it is just hunky dory lovey dovey, masha allah perfect wives that do our every whim and desire... :D
I think the guy should be understanding and not act like it's above him to do that
That kicks out the option of marrying a fob..dear oh dear...
Also we shouldn't be narrow-minded.. there are all sorts of other reasons someone may need to ask for a medical examination of any type... for example some people carry recessive genes which if in their spouse can lead to a much greater chance of certain diseases or disorders effecting their children.. if someone is aware of such issues they would definately ask for tests..
Good point...
Then again, what happened with the people of old? Im sure STDs were around then too no? They didnt have tests then...I'm assuming they relied on Istikhara..if the istikhara was positive, and the person did have a disease...Id assume it would have been a test, Allah only gives you as much as you can handle...so maybe that is your test...
Hey, Im not saying dont test, if you want to, go for it...but maybe sometimes Istikhara is enough... :)
Maureen
22-07-06, 12:15 AM
a must! :up: :inlove:
This list of 13 is preferable to the list of 100. Even so, it is preferable not to have any list at all. I would take offence if a prospective partner sat down with a list and started firing questions.
The actual process of going out with someone (which I gather Islam does not permit) is the way to find out the answers, bit by bit. You then gather pieces of information about the person, who you come to know very well before the marriage.
See actually you shouldnt know...it takes out the fun when youre actualy married...as long as you click...thats usually enough..
:D
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 12:25 AM
You shouldn't know about your prospective life partner? Finding out is fun? "clicking" is usually enough? :eek3:
Now the whole world knows you are a ikkle wikkle teenager.. aww :p
No...you shouldnt find out the answers to all those questions...because it takes the whole fun out of marriage..
You see, there should be this element of trust in Allah, we don't date our partners..we marry them, and we do istikhara and if it is ok, then we marry the person, and trust in Allah that insha allah everything will be fine..
I think somebodies becomming a ghoree... :D
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 12:32 AM
No...you shouldnt find out the answers to all those questions...because it takes the whole fun out of marriage..
You see, there should be this element of trust in Allah, we don't date our partners..we marry them, and we do istikhara and if it is ok, then we marry the person, and trust in Allah that insha allah everything will be fine..
Of course there should be an element of trust.
But trusting Allah doesn't mean walking off the edge a cliff does it.. and marrying the wrong person can have far more devastating consequences than that even :D
..trusting in Allah means exerting your absolute best into working the hardest for something, trying to make the best most informed decision about something and doing everything that is within your power to make something happen whilst also believing firmly in Allah(swt) and that whatever comes to you is solely from Him.. and whatever He's written for you, noone can prevent and whatever He has prevented from reaching you, noone can make happen.
It's like when Maryam(as) was under the date palm and had no strength, no food, was heavily pregnant, had no person to help, had nothing, was away from home, hungry and exhausted.. but she still shook the tree like she was told to and did her bit, exerted herself and did her best.. even though it was totally through Allah(swt)'s doing that the dates fell.. not through any strength or ability of hers (they're not easy to shift them trees!).
I think somebodies becomming a ghoree... :D No white reverts for you then :rolleyes:
Of course there should be an element of trust.
But trusting Allah doesn't mean walking off the edge a cliff does it.. and marrying the wrong person can have far more devastating consequences than that even :D
Which is exactly why you do Istikhara...
You can still marry the right person..and things become rubbish later on in life, you see, we call these things tests...:eek:
No white reverts for you then
Stop dreaming, it aint as if youre gonna be allowed either... :rolleyes:
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 12:41 AM
Stop dreaming, it aint as if youre gonna be allowed either... :rolleyes:
My kids will be though :inlove: ..inshaAllah
Also I shouldn't have said reverts, that makes it sound like reverts are the only types of white Muslims you can have, which is obviously not true.
Yknow actually, by then, everyones kids will be able to, and it won't be in fashion anymore...it won't be the in thing...so you know whats going to happen don't you...
Everyones gonna start thinking that marrying FOBs is the cool thing to do.. :D
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 01:03 AM
Yknow actually, by then, everyones kids will be able to, and it won't be in fashion anymore...it won't be the in thing...so you know whats going to happen don't you...
Everyones gonna start thinking that marrying FOBs is the cool thing to do.. :D
Yeh maybe on planet AJ it will be the cool thing to do :eek3: :wacko:
Yeh maybe on planet AJ it will be the cool thing to do :eek3: :wacko:
:rofl1:
Yeh maybe on planet AJ it will be the cool thing to do :eek3: :wacko:
Oy, you best watch it, we are talking about your potential nephews and nieces here...
:nuts:
Fresh Off the Boat...a freshie...
Fresh Off the Boat...a freshie...
err yeah..oka.:rubeyes: *coughs*
Muslim Pride
22-07-06, 01:18 PM
It doesnt have to be a long convo as many of you have mentioned in ure earlier posts. You can break them up and ask them over a number of meetings.
Some very good questions in there btw.
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 01:43 PM
Oy, you best watch it, we are talking about your potential nephews and nieces here...
:nuts:
Now it is potential again? I thought you had made your mind up against that :p
whats an FOB?
Look inda mirror
Now it is potential again? I thought you had made your mind up against that :p
Shhhhh, silly paki, don't tell the whole world.. :eek:
Anyway, I answered all these 100 questions to someone once... :D
Look inda mirror
i have..:inlove:
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 01:54 PM
Shhhhh, silly paki, don't tell the whole world.. :eek:
Anyway, I answered all these 100 questions to someone once... :D
To who? :rolleyes:
Hey, I already announced it on the radio.. I may as well take it back :rolleyes:
Chained_Water
22-07-06, 01:56 PM
Sajid... :inlove:
:rotfl:
Seriously?
I think it would be funny if we created a thread just for users to post their 100 answers :eek3:
Me: What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
Sajid: I'm willing to take her all the way to the seventh heaven and back... ;)
Me: :inlove:
(ok, no thats a lie, someone else said that..but honestly, this list was made for flirting :eek: )
:rotfl:
Seriously?
I think it would be funny if we created a thread just for users to post their 100 answers :eek3:
only do tht onda day when we pout up my ummah.com front page.
*BUMP*
i knwo some bros and sisters on here will be needing these inshallah ;)
Al-Irhaab
18-09-06, 08:02 PM
:rotfl:
Seriously?
I think it would be funny if we created a thread just for users to post their 100 answers :eek3:
i posted my answers :D
i posted my answers :D
to the potential wife? ................i take it u aint heard back yet :rolleyes:
Al-Irhaab
18-09-06, 08:25 PM
to the potential wife? ................i take it u aint heard back yet :rolleyes:
heard back from the wife... she wants to marry me... :coolbro:
father in laws a bit iffy though... need to make him an offer he cant refuse :rolleyes:
heard back from the wife... she wants to marry me... :coolbro:
father in laws a bit iffy though... need to make him an offer he cant refuse :rolleyes:
more like "the father in law,loved me" and the wife went :rubeyes::rubeyes:
Al-Irhaab
18-09-06, 08:30 PM
more like "the father in law,loved me" and the wife went :rubeyes::rubeyes:
nah both loved me :inlove: but me thinks father in law was a bit nervous :rubeyes:
nah both loved me :inlove: but me thinks father in law was a bit nervous :rubeyes:
u better tell him to ask u those questions ....face to face :D
Al-Irhaab
18-09-06, 08:34 PM
u better tell him to ask u those questions ....face to face :D
him or her :confused:
him or her :confused:
HIM, jus the TWO of you ;)
Al-Irhaab
18-09-06, 08:37 PM
HIM, jus the TWO of you ;)
ah tried that hes not two fond of the 100 questions hes got other issues... :rolleyes:
my mother in law inshall hated my answers.... but she liked my honesty :inlove: then i tasted her cooking and realised i shld have lied :rotfl:
:ban:
ah tried that hes not two fond of the 100 questions hes got other issues... :rolleyes:
my mother in law inshall hated my answers.... but she liked my honesty :inlove: then i tasted her cooking and realised i shld have lied :rotfl:
:ban:
awwwwww @ her cooking
im sure we can wittle the questions down to .....98?
islamirama
18-09-06, 08:59 PM
First day this forum returns and this topic is back in the flow :rolleyes:
First day this forum returns and this topic is back in the flow :rolleyes:
and look where u come park yourself :D
islamirama
19-09-06, 02:32 AM
and look where u come park yourself :D
just trying to fit in :D
just trying to fit in :D
is that the line, the anti-marriage squad is using these days.... :p
ok so these 100 questions seem to be from the sisters point of view, how about from the brothers point of view?
ok so these 100 questions seem to be from the sisters point of view, how about from the brothers point of view?
put he instead of she and wallah!!
put he instead of she and wallah!!
hmm, ok :D
hmm, ok :D
wen are u printing your answers on here then?
islamirama
19-09-06, 12:17 PM
is that the line, the anti-marriage squad is using these days.... :p
So how come you haven't been hooked yet ms. pro marriage :coolbro:
So how come you haven't been hooked yet ms. pro marriage :coolbro:
is that your way of a diversion from my question...... ;)
islamirama
19-09-06, 12:28 PM
Some of the questions here are dodgy or can be misrepresentation and can help you turn away a great person :rolleyes:
100 Premarital Questions
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
What is your concept of marriage?
Have you been married before?
Are you married now?
What are you expectations of marriage?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
What is the role of religion in your life now?
Are you a spiritual person? relative
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area? inaccurate self-representation
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities? inaccurate self-representation
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
What is the role of the husband?
What is the role of the wife?
Do you want to practice polygamy?
What is your relationship with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
How did you get to know them?
Why are they your friends?
What do you like most about them?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
What are the things that you do in your free time?
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment? hmmm
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
Do you travel?
How do you spend your vacations?
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
Do you read?
What do you read?
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
Do you like to write your feelings?
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
Do your friends use foul language?
Does your family use foul language?
How do you express anger?
How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
What do you do when you are angry?
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage ? :eek: ...can a guy ask for a hymen exam?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
How do you support your own health and nutrition?
What is you definition of wealth?
How do you spend money?
How do you save money?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
Do you use credit cards?
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
Do you believe in abortion?
Do you have children now?
What is your relationship with your children now?
What is your relationship with their other parent?
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
What is the best method(s) of raising children?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
How were you raised?
How were you disciplined? inaccurate self-representation
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
Do you believe in public school for your children?
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
islamirama
19-09-06, 12:29 PM
is that your way of a diversion from my question...... ;)
if that is your way of avoiding the answer to my question ;)
if that is your way of avoiding the answer to my question ;)
no, i dont avoid questions, jus like mine answered b4 im interrogated myself :p
akhi, the examination i think is meant for like STDs psossibly or any other illness?
and wats wrong with the "do u do any islamic activities" question, i think its ok.
I agree, there are some questions in there i wouldnt ask myself
islamirama
19-09-06, 01:01 PM
no, i dont avoid questions, jus like mine answered b4 im interrogated myself :p
akhi, the examination i think is meant for like STDs psossibly or any other illness?
and wats wrong with the "do u do any islamic activities" question, i think its ok.
I agree, there are some questions in there i wouldnt ask myself
i tend to answer questions with questions :P
I understand the request for a physical but don't you think the guy/girl would be insulted by that. And what if a person refused it, even when there's nothing wrong with him?
Like personaly i might think about it if i think she's worth it and ask her to do the same, but majority of the time i think i'll say go find someone else to put on the table for you marry him. and i think most people would say that also.
How are you with your muslim community? well you might be from a great community so you're well involved and mine might suck with all the fitnah and what not so i stay away from them. So what impression would that give you for an answer like "i stay away from my community"
How were you disciplined? some one might got their butt whooped big time but do to such a childhood would vow never to touch his child. And some abused kids turn out to be abusers themselves. So what impression would that give.
I agree most questions are pretty good. But then again some questions i think are bit too noisy that even if it doesn't work out, you are left with knowing sooo much about the other person that you don't need to know.
Al Qadr
19-09-06, 01:03 PM
Whats the point of 100 questions if ur rents make u marry some1 u dnt want to :(
[quote=islamirama;1206702]i tend to answer questions with questions :P
i thought so....lokoslike u wil be getting nothing outta me then :D
I understand the request for a physical but don't you think the guy/girl would be insulted by that. And what if a person refused it, even when there's nothing wrong with him?
me and al-ihraab and other memebers had a detailed discussion about this in the temp forum, but i cant remembr the title of the thread:confused:
Like personaly i might think about it if i think she's worth it and ask her to do the same, but majority of the time i think i'll say go find someone else to put on the table for you marry him. and i think most people would say that also.
How are you with your muslim community? well you might be from a great community so you're well involved and mine might suck with all the fitnah and what not so i stay away from them. So what impression would that give you for an answer like "i stay away from my community".
That type of question me personally? i wouldnt ask cos it wouldnt tell me anything, i.e for the reasons u have stated, id leave that out
How were you disciplined? some one might got their butt whooped big time but do to such a childhood would vow never to touch his child. And some abused kids turn out to be abusers themselves. So what impression would that give.
again i think that hasnt really got any relevance for me personally wen going thru the "vetting" process :D
I agree most questions are pretty good. But then again some questions i think are bit too noisy that even if it doesn't work out, you are left with knowing sooo much about the other person that you don't need to know
:up:
Whats the point of 100 questions if ur rents make u marry some1 u dnt want to :(
well that is forbidden in islam, and needs to be pointed out to them :(
Al Qadr
19-09-06, 01:13 PM
well that is forbidden in islam, and needs to be pointed out to them :(
Ive told mum it is forbidden, she still goes on abt it :( even when she says ok, dnt marry him. Then next day same thing..and then aunt fones... sayin marry em, when no has been said a million times.
:crying:
islamirama
19-09-06, 01:14 PM
Whats the point of 100 questions if ur rents make u marry some1 u dnt want to :(
forget the rent, find a doc or engineer whose 10yrs your senior. it's way of the arabs and desi! ...or wrap someone around your fingure from college/univ, someone who will succeed in life, make'em fall for you and marry him...it's way of young muslims these days. :D
Ive told mum it is forbidden, she still goes on abt it :( even when she says ok, dnt marry him. Then next day same thing..and then aunt fones... sayin marry em, when no has been said a million times.
:crying:
i really ahve difficulty understanding our parents generation . :(
sis come into sis section :)
islamirama
19-09-06, 01:17 PM
Whats the point of 100 questions if ur rents make u marry some1 u dnt want to :(
I don't get it :confused:
Al Qadr
19-09-06, 01:19 PM
MG, sis section isnt lettin me post..well it doesnt have reply button :eek:
Later Insha'Allah.
I don't get it :confused:
rents = parents
her paretns are trying to force her to marry someone she doesnt want to :(
MG, sis section isnt lettin me post..well it doesnt have reply button :eek:
Later Insha'Allah.
ok try later inshallah :)
islamirama
19-09-06, 01:31 PM
rents = parents
her paretns are trying to force her to marry someone she doesnt want to :(
oh i see. i guess relatives are no help either huh?
oh i see. i guess relatives are no help either huh?
from what the sis has said about her auntie, it seems the relativs are joining in ! :(
islamirama
19-09-06, 01:46 PM
from what the sis has said about her auntie, it seems the relativs are joining in ! :(
yea, typical desi!
I'd say get some verses that warn against such forced marriages and recite those in english everytime they say something about it. Remind them on J-Day, Allah will question them for forced marriages. And such forced marriages even in west only shows what the non-muslims say about "oppression of women" and doesn't help in anyway.
Al Qadr
19-09-06, 01:49 PM
:( me n sis was shoutin no we dnt wana marry em, n then the phone disconnected..and then aunt foned bak n said something like shes sorry n she wnt say anything again n she put it down :confused:
Whats the point of that, we said no a million times and when we was in pak, they clda jus told that family no straight up then, but they chose to let it carry on :( Insha'Allah everything will work out for the best. jus dnt want some1 from bak home :(
:( me n sis was shoutin no we dnt wana marry em, n then the phone disconnected..and then aunt foned bak n said something like shes sorry n she wnt say anything again n she put it down :confused:
Whats the point of that, we said no a million times and when we was in pak, they clda jus told that family no straight up then, but they chose to let it carry on :( Insha'Allah everything will work out for the best. jus dnt want some1 from bak home :(
ya allah not a back home job is it!! :(
sis u must stand your ground if your sure u definately dont want to marry them.
Sit your paretns down and without shouting , get your point across.
People from back home are very hard to shake of, once they think they can get a passport *ahem* i mean rishta out of u :(
islamirama
19-09-06, 02:03 PM
:( me n sis was shoutin no we dnt wana marry em, n then the phone disconnected..and then aunt foned bak n said something like shes sorry n she wnt say anything again n she put it down :confused:
Whats the point of that, we said no a million times and when we was in pak, they clda jus told that family no straight up then, but they chose to let it carry on :( Insha'Allah everything will work out for the best. jus dnt want some1 from bak home :(
You have to understands thier mentality. It won't sink in till you say it a million times. They think if they keep pushing, you'll eventually cave in like they did at your age. Stick to your story and stick together as siblings and it'll be hard for them to push you for too long. Tell them they can't force you to marry someone you don't want to and force you to spend your life in misery, tell them do you really want me to hate you for the rest of my life because you put in such a misery? Tell them to fear Allah and find someone that's acceptable to you and not the paki culture and sacrifice their daughter's happiness for nothing.
Al Qadr
19-09-06, 02:09 PM
^^^ :jkk: for the replies n help MG and islamirama.. I have been stubborn, i shout and say no (me and sis) . As for sticking together as siblings, that family 1st wanted me or sis, now they want both :eek: or one of us, altho the family seems good, and plus one of thier sisters is married and has 2 kids, but she has still been able to carry on with her education. So that makes it harder cos mum says they r good ect..but I dont care, I dont wana marry a freshie n nor does sis. No is no at the end of the day. And besides, I'm sure they have lots of other people they could ask for a rishta, even mum said that once.
islamirama
19-09-06, 02:21 PM
^^^ :jkk: for the replies n help MG and islamirama.. I have been stubborn, i shout and say no (me and sis) . As for sticking together as siblings, that family 1st wanted me or sis, now they want both :eek: or one of us, altho the family seems good, and plus one of thier sisters is married and has 2 kids, but she has still been able to carry on with her education. So that makes it harder cos mum says they r good ect..but I dont care, I dont wana marry a freshie n nor does sis. No is no at the end of the day. And besides, I'm sure they have lots of other people they could ask for a rishta, even mum said that once.
exactly! if they are good ppl then they shouldn't have a problem finding someone else. Tell your mom that you're sure they are nice ppl and all that but you have your preferences as well. And one of them is you don't want to import but someone local with similiar view on life and mentality. I know its hard sis but inshallah tell them what's in your heart and rather then going aggressive (unless necessary), try to have your mom sympathise with you and see your side. and as always, make duas :)
^^^ :jkk: for the replies n help MG and islamirama.. I have been stubborn, i shout and say no (me and sis) . As for sticking together as siblings, that family 1st wanted me or sis, now they want both :eek: or one of us, altho the family seems good, and plus one of thier sisters is married and has 2 kids, but she has still been able to carry on with her education. So that makes it harder cos mum says they r good ect..but I dont care, I dont wana marry a freshie n nor does sis. No is no at the end of the day. And besides, I'm sure they have lots of other people they could ask for a rishta, even mum said that once.
sis i think u should both pray isitikhara, incase this is the right thing for u, and inshallah allah will guide u both to wat is best for u and make things easy for u.
Subhanallah, everytime i haev done, i have had my "answer" in a matter of days, i.e i know in my heart wat is best
outlandish
18-12-06, 01:06 PM
:rubeyes: whose gonna ask all that
the guy might run away after it :p
outlandish
18-12-06, 01:12 PM
My point exactly :p
lol imagine someone really asking u all that,i would get annoyed
:rubeyes: whose gonna ask all that
the guy might run away after it :p
Yeah and to be honest with you..some of the questions I mean.. what do u expect the person to say? :rolleyes:
Do you use foul language?
Yes I repeatedly use the f word in all daily conversations and sometimes I address other people with the B word. I refrain from swearing in Ramadan tho..
What do u do when you are angry?.
I often pick up furniture, be it a table or chair and hurl it at the other person, I dont always intend harm
I mean, no one will be that honest with you, even if they are practising and fear Allah. And if they are, chances are people will say no to them! Best thing is to give such questions, especially ones regarding character to someone else to answer about that person. Be it a family member or best friend who knows them well enough in terms of behaviour!!
i know a brother who was asked so many question, one after another, mashallah that he answered them truthfully, but he couldn't believe how many the sister asked him!
i know a brother who was asked so many question, one after another, mashallah that he answered them truthfully, but he couldn't believe how many the sister asked him!
did they end up getting married?
did they end up getting married?
na, i think that one wasn't happy so they didn't go through wit it.
A grilling is pointless. 10-20minutes asking each other systematic questions won't teach you more about the person than a general chit chat would.
If anything, it'll scare the poor guy away.."if thats how she treats me now, imagine the questions I'll get when i arrive home late as her husband" ;)
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 06:39 PM
i'd put up with the questions, if i want something ill go through hoops of fire for it
Khubaib
18-12-06, 07:25 PM
:rofl1:
at this thread.
Especially these questions.
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
If parents took all of these into consideration though that would be excellent. Sometimes when I talk to brothers they say that all parents care for are looks and money. Inshallah I will start working on these now so I can do well during the interview! :D. Maybe I should just answer like Al-Irhaab did and then ask the parents
101. Do you have a sense of humor? :rotfl:
lol u lot giving me jokes, why u all having a panic attack thinking u gotta "grill" and interroagte the poor person, its jus to give u an idea of things u MIGHT want to ask....so calm down and count to 10 :rolleyes::D
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 07:38 PM
I think the questions would be nice to hear cuz then i'd hav a laugh, what with already seeing them on here i would love to hear them
Mr_Jailer
18-12-06, 07:39 PM
When you're asked matrimonial questions, can u give jokey responses to show your witty side n personality?
Or must u be serious all the time?
I think the questions would be nice to hear cuz then i'd hav a laugh, what with already seeing them on here i would love to hear them
to be honest i did once ask MOST of the questions on that list to a potential husband.....but he got the wrong idea thinking, im asking cos my answer is "yes" to marriage already :rubeyes: (no we didnt get married)
islamirama
19-12-06, 02:03 AM
Calm down people, these questions are just a guideline for you to get an idea of what kind of stuff to ask and what kind of things you should focus on when heading in this direction.
Abdelrhman
19-12-06, 02:10 AM
Arsalan said:
Id recommend da crew here to waite for jannah marriage , aite...
:salams
Just a word of advice, don't recommend anything against what the Prophet :saw: recommended. Not trying to put you on the spot or anything, but marriage is half our iman if I remember the hadith correctly. Living life solo is not the way to go, and you will be doing the Muslim Ummah a disservice. (Or unservice? Who knows LOL). Every kid you have is +1 for the Muslim population, and +1 for the number of people you've brought into Islam.
And we all remember that hadith about the only 3 actions that don't cease after a person's death, and one of them is 'a righteous child that makes dua for their deceased parent.' another is 'knowledge that you taught that people are still b