View Full Version : Sticking to one's own kind when it comes to marriage
illusionz
30-08-02, 08:41 PM
i was discussing this topic with sum friends of mine who had married ppl of different origins(but same religion ofcourse) 2 theirs, wat do u ppl think of ppl getting married 2 sum1 wit a different cultural background n origin 2 urs. :confused: :p
aa
personally i tink its fyn marryin sum1 from diff culture as long as they muslim...coz culture shud neva b mixd up wiv religion. if u no ur religion n gonna stik to ur religion then it shud b of no probs..if ya get wat i mean... lol
wsm
shamshire-SHIR
30-08-02, 09:10 PM
i like most others like my culture more than others, nut in the end only iman matters.
wasalam
Verbal-Hijacker
30-08-02, 10:54 PM
Asalaamu alaikum
I beleive that it doesnt necessarily matter what cultural background you or your partner originate from, as long as you dont let that interfere with your marriage and of course muslim duties. However i also beleive that if your partner was from your own culture then your future marriage is more likely to succeed, as you have more in common, but like i said before , culture differences are not necessarily a must.
w/s
cyber-muslim
30-08-02, 11:06 PM
Assalaamu Alaykum
There is nothing wrong with it, the only thing that may happen is internal arguements within the family, let me expln.
With many families from south asia they tend to have a big problem with this, they find it so hard to handle, that there son is going to marry a white sister.
but you know what this all goes with time, i remember the time i told my parents i didnt wanna get married to my cousins, wal'lahi they almost flipped, all that went through there head, oh no he is going to marry a gori, in'nallahi wa in'nallhi rajoon. but Allhumdillah they got used to the idea, and now masha'Allaah there good about things, even though they know one of these days im going to bring a revert sister home, and say "Mum, Dad this is the women i want to spend my life with.."
oops i rambling on now........sorry!
Walaykum as Salaam
Variety is the spice of life.
:)
illusionz
31-08-02, 06:31 PM
but even if u do marry sum1 of the same culture, u wil stil hav differences which rnt culteral, so a differnet culture shudnt matter:confused:
Nothing wrong with it in principle, I think the same rules apply as with any marriage; you've got to get on with eachother.
When I told my parents that I was going to propose to the lady who is now my wife (who is from another country from my own as it happens) the first thing they asked me about was whether we agreed about money LOL!!
noob saibot
03-09-02, 11:20 PM
Originally posted by chilla
aa
personally i tink its fyn marryin sum1 from diff culture as long as they muslim...coz culture shud neva b mixd up wiv religion. if u no ur religion n gonna stik to ur religion then it shud b of no probs..if ya get wat i mean... lol
wsm
Salaams,
someone correct me if I'm wrong, I am a new revert to Islam, but we are allowed to marry a person who is Christian or Jewish, right?
The Strategist
03-09-02, 11:52 PM
Originally posted by noob saibot
Salaams,
someone correct me if I'm wrong, I am a new revert to Islam, but we are allowed to marry a person who is Christian or Jewish, right?
If you are a man, you are allowed to marry a woman from amongst the Ahl al Kitab- the Jews, Christians and the Zoroastrians. If you are a woman, you are only allowed to marry a Muslim.
noob saibot
03-09-02, 11:56 PM
Zoroastrians?
Who are they?
The Strategist
04-09-02, 12:23 AM
Originally posted by noob saibot
Zoroastrians?
Who are they?
The Majusi. Some scholars have included them in the Ahl al Kitab.
They are the original inhabitants of Persia, now Iran.
sweetserenade
04-09-02, 03:34 AM
Assalaamu’alaikum wr wb
Here’s my two cents worth.
Marrying someone from the same cultural background doesn’t necessarily guarantee that the marriage will be a success.
I speak through experience coming from a family where inter-racial marriage is common.
One of my aunts has been thru two marriages and is now into her third. He ex husbands are Muslims and are of same race...and cultural background.
An uncle married a Muslim of the same race and the marriage ended in divorce. His second marriage is to a Chinese revert and they have two lovely children. They are into their 11th year of marriage. And his wife, masha Allah, is a devoted and pious lady.
I have cousins who married reverts… American, British, Chinese and Indians. And they are all happily married. Alhamdulillah. Insha Allah.
Race is not important. What IS important is… that your partner is a practising Muslim. In every sense of the word. It does not matter where they come from.
Wa alaikum salaam wr wb
sweetserenade
04-09-02, 03:50 AM
Assalaamu 'alaikum wr wb
Some scholars have included them in the Ahl al Kitab.
I always thought they are fire-worshipperse. How could they be included in the Ahl al kitab.
Infidel
04-09-02, 12:10 PM
"If you are a man, you are allowed to marry a woman from amongst the Ahl al Kitab- the Jews, Christians and the Zoroastrians. If you are a woman, you are only allowed to marry a Muslim."
Hmmm. One can only speculate as to the driver behind that decision.
My brother is married to a Chinese Muslim, they have three beautiful kids and as strong and happy a relationship as I have ever seen.
Regards
Christians both men and women are not allowed to marry outside the faith but many do.
Reality check: Marriage is difficult enough, and communication is difficult enough when you are from the same cultural background. Coming from different cultures it will probably be even harder. Thats not to say it wont work, but the people involved will have to be extra committed to make it work. The whole idea of committment and selflessness has been lost to very many and without these ingredients its hard to make a marriage work. Lets face it, the "honeymoon" wears off and then your faced looking at all the flaws and idiosyncracies of your partner. Whats going to help you continue to love that person even when your feelings arent there? The "feeling of being in love " comes and goes (this is natural). It will be even harder with a person of another culture. So if your thinking of marrying, be prepared.
Hen
Don't ppl love the expression
oppsoites attract??????
Its true though. Opposites do attract.
Hen
Its true though. Opposites do attract.
Hen
yes and can at times destruct.
i think birds of a feather do flock together in terms of personality and opposites attract in the things that shouldnt matter like race, prefrences etc
there is nothing wrong with marrying ppl from other races
and i personaly dislike when folks say stick 2 ur own, isnt a muslim one of our own?
peace
yes and can at times destruct.
i think birds of a feather do flock together in terms of personality and opposites attract in the things that shouldnt matter like race, prefrences etc
there is nothing wrong with marrying ppl from other races
and i personaly dislike when folks say stick 2 ur own, isnt a muslim one of our own?
peace
:salams
Yeah... but...
I think it depends on each person. Some people like the adventure of marrying someone from a different culture and learning about each other, etc. However, you need to be ready to compromise A LOT. From different taste for food, to different kind of entertainment, to different hobbies, etc, etc. So you can take it as something great to learn about, and then it's an amazing experience, or you can feel alienated and fail.
I married outside my culture (me Arab, he french-canadian) and I have been "forced" to try all these new different things that I was not used to! And it's been great and an amazing experience, but it was hard!
In that sense if you like your lifestyle and your customs and habits and you'd rather not change them, then it's better to "stick with your own".
But if you're willing to discover new things... and intercultural/interracial marriage is an amaaaaaaazing thing.
I can't thank my dad enough for letting me marry a non-Saudi!
My wife was born in Canada but she was raised a city girl in the UK. I'm a mixed breed that was raised with a lot of traditional mohawk teaching, on a farm in rural Ontario. I consider ours a mixed marriage that has been going strong for 24 years so yes, it can work.
sunrise
15-02-07, 08:52 AM
My wife was born in Canada but she was raised a city girl in the UK. I'm a mixed breed that was raised with a lot of traditional mohawk teaching, on a farm in rural Ontario. I consider ours a mixed marriage that has been going strong for 24 years so yes, it can work.
I hate the word breed! we are all Human so i don't see different breed just different race.
I rememebr talking to someone not so long ago, and she asked me if i would marry someone from another background other than mine and i said definatley.
And as a joke she said so your going to have 'mixed breed children, half and half'.....i swear to God i have never felt so much anger and sadness.
Mixed breed like the person is half a person?
I know you must have used it in a different context, but for people who use it in an offensive manner it's sickening subhanAllah...i just don't get why people make it an issue when did it matter if the person is black, benagli, Scottish who cares.
I mean we are all muslim.
Sorry Sunrise rating on again
Anyways mixed marriages :inlove: love em
.: Anna :.
15-02-07, 11:01 AM
yeh me and my husbands marriage is mixed, im irish background he's sri lankan background, but both brought up n born in the uk although me northerner and him in london, but alhamdulillah i dont find ne prob with that at all :inlove:
Ruprecht
15-02-07, 11:22 AM
I hate the word breed! we are all Human so i don't see different breed just different race.
I rememebr talking to someone not so long ago, and she asked me if i would marry someone from another background other than mine and i said definatley.
And as a joke she said so your going to have 'mixed breed children, half and half'.....i swear to God i have never felt so much anger and sadness.
Mixed breed like the person is half a person?
I know you must have used it in a different context, but for people who use it in an offensive manner it's sickening subhanAllah...i just don't get why people make it an issue when did it matter if the person is black, benagli, Scottish who cares.
I mean we are all muslim.
Sorry Sunrise rating on again
Anyways mixed marriages :inlove: love em
You're right, we shouldn't refer to people as "breeds".
Personally I'm 100% pure blood mongrel. :D
Ar-Raya
15-02-07, 11:35 AM
I think we really should stick to our own kind when getting married...
There is no place for intermingling of different kinds...
Thats why when i got married I chose someone from my own kind...
humankind...
Al-ghurabah
15-02-07, 11:41 AM
a muslim is a muslim we shouldm arry for the belif their imaan. their character their deen not colour or language or country..
our parensts generation find it difficult to let ehir kids marry outside of their own culture.. but inshalalh our kids will have no problem
:salams
Yeah... but...
I think it depends on each person. Some people like the adventure of marrying someone from a different culture and learning about each other, etc. However, you need to be ready to compromise A LOT. From different taste for food, to different kind of entertainment, to different hobbies, etc, etc. So you can take it as something great to learn about, and then it's an amazing experience, or you can feel alienated and fail.
I married outside my culture (me Arab, he french-canadian) and I have been "forced" to try all these new different things that I was not used to! And it's been great and an amazing experience, but it was hard!
In that sense if you like your lifestyle and your customs and habits and you'd rather not change them, then it's better to "stick with your own".
But if you're willing to discover new things... and intercultural/interracial marriage is an amaaaaaaazing thing.
I can't thank my dad enough for letting me marry a non-Saudi!
hi hun i agree with u 100%
personaly if one is following islam as a way of life its sufficient.
i dont think u fully got what i meant by birds of a feather flock together.
in areas of mentality. state of mind, personality, etc i think opposites is not a good idea (this was the reason i ended my engagement, me and him were to different in these areas)
when it comes to personal things like prefrences of hobbies, food etc i agree opposites attract.
^ when u look at islam the prophet scw and Allah both support this view of mine of birds of a feather flock together. for the truthfull is the truthfull, for the patient is the patient. for the stranger is the stranger etc
when to ppl have to different state of minds in the diin, this is an opposite but believe it isnt attractive. the more i got to know my ex fiance the more i found out that he wasnt as enthusiastic abt islam as i was he loved it, he prayed yes, but he compromised some aspects like a true moderate this was an instant put of me. and knew then i was making a mistake, and he was not the ghariib i longed for. hence EX
the problem is some ppl interperate birds of a feather flocking together to mean, the person must be therefore form the same race, tribe etc
no by Allah this isnt what i mean at all.
a muslim is a muslim we shouldm arry for the belif their imaan. their character their deen not colour or language or country..
our parensts generation find it difficult to let ehir kids marry outside of their own culture.. but inshalalh our kids will have no problem
Inshahallah
$HugoBoss$
15-02-07, 05:46 PM
If your a family oriented person than it's better that you marry someone from your own race so they get a long with the rest of the family without any problems.
If your Independant than it doesn't matter.
Khubaib
15-02-07, 06:07 PM
Muslims are my own kind. Inshallah I will marry my own kind. :up:
Muslims are my own kind. Inshallah I will marry my own kind. :up:
thats it! alhamdulilaah some1 else noticed the weirdness of the thread title.
Some dumb Paki (who thought she was really smart cos' she got a 1st degree in Engineering) was not very happy when I said I'd marry a person of any race as long as the guy is a compatible, good Muslim. Well... apart from the fact that she thought that having mixed race children was "selfish" and "cruel" for the kids because "they would have an identity crisis", she then asked "Well as you're Pakistani and your hubby would be from somewhere else, what would your kids be then?" and I said..... "They'd be gorgeous (inshallah)":up:
Some dumb Paki (who thought she was really smart cos' she got a 1st degree in Engineering) was not very happy when I said I'd marry a person of any race as long as the guy is a compatible, good Muslim. Well... apart from the fact that she thought that having mixed race children was "selfish" and "cruel" for the kids because "they would have an identity crisis", she then asked "Well as you're Pakistani and your hubby would be from somewhere else, what would your kids be then?" and I said..... "They'd be gorgeous (inshallah)":up:
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
i hate narrow minded ppl
.: Anna :.
15-02-07, 07:24 PM
Some dumb Paki (who thought she was really smart cos' she got a 1st degree in Engineering) was not very happy when I said I'd marry a person of any race as long as the guy is a compatible, good Muslim. Well... apart from the fact that she thought that having mixed race children was "selfish" and "cruel" for the kids because "they would have an identity crisis", she then asked "Well as you're Pakistani and your hubby would be from somewhere else, what would your kids be then?" and I said..... "They'd be gorgeous (inshallah)":up:
oh come on!! they dont need to have an identity crisis... they can have a strong and proud identity, that of being a muslim :D and also they will have a diverse background and heritage and yeh insha allah will be gorgeous :inlove:
especially as many many more people are mixed these days i really do not think it will affect kids in ne significant way! especially since i think the next generation of muslims is going to be further mixed than our one
sunrise
15-02-07, 07:24 PM
I think we really should stick to our own kind when getting married...
There is no place for intermingling of different kinds...
Thats why when i got married I chose someone from my own kind...
humankind...
I was about to say! loool
*~IslamRulez~*
16-02-07, 09:58 AM
hmm "my own kind..."
.................................................. ......................................
...................................Humankind...... ..................................
............................/........................\......................... ..........
.........................Man....................Wo man.............................
....................../.........\................/...........\..........................
..............Believer...Disbeliever.....Believer. ..Disbeliever...............
................|................................| ......................................
................|................................| ......................................
................^ Halal marriage for my kind...................................
.................................................. ......................................
.................................................. ........................................
.: Anna :.
16-02-07, 11:18 AM
LOL nice diagram masha allah
*~IslamRulez~*
16-02-07, 11:27 AM
LOL nice diagram masha allah
JazzakAllah khayr :p
wassalam
Abu Mus'ab
16-02-07, 01:46 PM
There's nothing wrong with wanting to marry in your tribe nation whatever you want to call it.
It's mu3tabar in nikah, so if someone doesn't want to marry someone who's not from their tribe then they don't have to.
Abu Mus'ab
16-02-07, 01:48 PM
The Majusi. Some scholars have included them in the Ahl al Kitab.
They are the original inhabitants of Persia, now Iran.
They are not ahle kitab, they're mushrikeen.
Yeah i know you're gone for years already
ghanamuslima
16-02-07, 02:18 PM
there's nothing wrong with marrying from a different background or ethnic group, islam does not promote racism, ALLAH(SWT) said an arab is not better than a non arab a white is not better than a black man etc, the only thing that makes one person better than the other is their level of iman (paraphrased). this is coming from our LORD, we should only look at the level of a persons deen when choosing a marriage partner not their skin colour etc.and also who ever heard of the Prophet (SAW) being racist???????????? marriage completes a persons deen, so the only thing one should be concerned with when seeking a partner is peity etc.
Abu Mus'ab
16-02-07, 02:51 PM
there's nothing wrong with marrying from a different background or ethnic group, islam does not promote racism, ALLAH(SWT) said an arab is not better than a non arab a white is not better than a black man etc, the only thing that makes one person better than the other is their level of iman (paraphrased). this is coming from our LORD, we should only look at the level of a persons deen when choosing a marriage partner not their skin colour etc.and also who ever heard of the Prophet (SAW) being racist???????????? marriage completes a persons deen, so the only thing one should be concerned with when seeking a partner is peity etc.
No one was saying it's wrong to marry people from other backgrounds, i was saying it's permissable to not marry someone from a different background according to the shariah as well, no one is forced to marry people from other backgrounds.
ghanamuslima
17-02-07, 10:46 AM
you're right, there's no compulsion in this religion we marry who we like. as long as they're muslim
uhkt_al'muminun
17-02-07, 11:35 AM
sticking 2 my own kind would be simply Muslim but anywhoo i no wat u mean Alahmdullilah.
me personaly wen i was younger i'd always say "nah i aint ever gonna marry someone from Eritrea!", but subhan'Allah as time goes by you learn to aperciate your own race and others but you also understand that what unites ppl is the quran and sunnah, its like when you meet a new sister whos not from wherever your from you still have that connection and you talk to the sister like you known her for ages and its all down to Islam.
i aint fussed at all weather or not i marry from my race or not, it doesnt faze me :rolleyes:
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