View Full Version : would you marry her?
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 07:13 PM
Wa Alaikum Salaam,
To be honest my first response would be "No Way," but giving it some thought. Maybe I would, I mean I myself am by no means perfect. As long as she (truly/sincerely) loves Allah (swt), then in time she would change (for a choice of a better word) for the better.
Ma'aSalaama
but how would you know she did? hmmmmmmmmm .... i know everyone says it's what is on the inside that matters but i dno...
if all the pious bros and pious sisters were to marry each other
then how can we help guide those who need it
:salams,
For me it would be neccessary, at least the basics, which is the jilbaab and hijab.Thats like saying would I marry a girl who doesnt do her 5 prayers...The fardh is neccessary, Sunnahs are preferred, but wouldnt be deciding factor.
Works both ways. (If) I was a bro without a beard d someone who wears Niqaabi said to me no cos I dont have a beard, thats fair enough..
OFF TOPIC: KAAAAAAAAAAF, HAAAA, YAAA, AYN SAAAAAAAD (listen to Surah Maryam by Salah Bukhatir, its sooo beautiful mashaAllah)
that's sooo true.....but then i know i wanna marry someone really religious and has a beard and everything and i wouldn't really think about anyone that didn't seem to be that much into their religion cos afterall we're only meant to marry for religion sake if we wanna succeed.....i wear a headscarf but not like an abaya or anything....so i was thinking does that leave me out of the running?
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 07:23 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
I don't agree with that nonsense about what’s on the inside. What’s inside should reflects what’s outside, otherwise that’s just hypocrisy, and not true belief.
I don't know how you could tell, I guess one would just have to rely on their better judgement, and maybe just plain old gut feeling. Of course there's always Dua', Salaatul Istikharah and Salaahul Hija.
Also many say they will change for the better, become more practising, after they marry. What makes them so sure they would, it just seems like insecurity to me. Is a person who is not comfortable with themselves ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage, and children there after.
I wonder what the sisters here would think if it was concerning a man without a beard, that would be interesting.
Ma'aSalaama
hmmmm that's kinda true....
as for the beard thing i'd def def def wanna marry someone with a beard inshAllah.....but then the whole fist length beard comes into aswell....
:salams,
For me it would be neccessary, at least the basics, which is the jilbaab and hijab, or at least she agrees to wear it after marriage. Thats like saying would I marry a girl who doesnt do her 5 prayers...The fardh is neccessary, Sunnahs are preferred, but wouldnt be deciding factor.
Works both ways. (If) I was a bro without a beard d someone who wears Niqaabi said to me no cos I dont have a beard, thats fair enough..
OFF TOPIC: KAAAAAAAAAAF, HAAAA, YAAA, AYN SAAAAAAAD (listen to Surah Maryam by Salah Bukhatir, its sooo beautiful mashaAllah)
but then she would be wearing it because u told her to and not for the sake of Allah
hmmmm that's kinda true....
as for the beard thing i'd def def def wanna marry someone with a beard inshAllah.....but then the whole fist length beard comes into aswell....
im sure there are some decent bro's without beards but for me its a must
personally i feel beardless guys look gay :outta:
muslimah85
22-02-06, 07:28 PM
but then she would be wearing it because u told her to and not for the sake of Allah
true, id rather wear it for allahs sake then rather if my husband just told me.
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 07:30 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,so i was thinking does that leave me out of the running?You sound extremely sincere and kind at heart. I don't believe for one second you'd be out of the running.
What’s bad is a Muslim observing the proper Hijab, yet sprout out nonsense that contradicts the teachings of Islam i.e. nationalism etc...
Ma'aSalaama
but then she would be wearing it because u told her to and not for the sake of Allah
:up:
I think the most important thing is if the girl is open minded to the deen and wants to learn not everyone is on the same level.
Id want her to know why shes wearing the Hijab not because me or her parents forced her too. Also knowing why you wear the hijab is important because that gives u more understanding of the total hijab not just the cloth over ur head.
but then she would be wearing it because u told her to and not for the sake of Allah
Hey, I edited that line, unquote me :p
Was trying to be fair on those less practicing but then realised what I said after contradicted it.
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 07:36 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
But there is a way of telling a person to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah. Like suggestions with kindness and love, I'm sure it'll make things easier for them. For example, 'I think your so beautiful, and it makes me jealous (gareeha) to see other men drooling at you, and we are very much aware of the commands of Allah (swt) and the Rasool (saw), let us abide by them, so we may be examples of good for the wider society as well as our own children.' or maybe I’m just in my own world.
Ma'aSalaama
if her husband encouraged her to wear it and that gave her more strength....would that still be the same though?
and if she realised why she was wearing the hijab wouldn't that lead her to wear an abaya anyway? but then i'm so contradicting myself here
Na, it was the fact that she agreed to do it after marriage that was wrong, why doesnt she do it now if she is doing it for the sake of Allah?
cos shes young and stupid
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 07:43 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Can someone correct me if I am wrong. But what about Hamza (ra), was his intention to become a Muslim pure, did he not revert because of pride of his family, so to protect the Prophet (saw) from insults from the Kufaar, in time though he became amongst the best Muslims to ever walk this earth.
Ma'aSalaama
Nightfall
22-02-06, 07:46 PM
Akhee salah and hijaab are very different, abandoning salah in some ulema's opinion takes you out of Islam.
I agree with what some people here are saying, its not always about the inside, the outside has orders to fulfill too, like men with isbal and beard, sisters with hijaab and jilbaab.
As for doing this fisabeelillah, yes that is true, but a wife has to obey the orders of her husband unless it is contradicting the orders of her Lord. The husband telling the wife to observe cover is a good thing, and :insha: once she gets used to it, she will change her intention and do it fisabeelillah.
Akhee salah and hijaab are very different, abandoning salah in some ulema's opinion takes you out of Islam.
Indeed they are, but my point was its a fardh and (in my opinion) I would look for basics and the fardh comes under bacis.
ur_yusra
22-02-06, 08:06 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Can someone correct me if I am wrong. But what about Hamza (ra), was his intention to become a Muslim pure, did he not revert because of pride of his family, so to protect the Prophet (saw) from insults from the Kufaar, in time though he became amongst the best Muslims to ever walk this earth.
Ma'aSalaama
sahih..
mashaAllah :)
janathi
22-02-06, 08:45 PM
sahih..
mashaAllah :)
:salams
I wonder what the sisters here would think if it was concerning a man without a beard, that would be interesting.
^^Na'am Masha'Allah :)
I think If I'm a true believer and sincerly Love Allah(swt)..I would automatically follow the Sunnah, and practicing Sunnah means implementing it in characteristics wise as well as everything else. If we follow the Sunnah how can we leave bits out of it?
so if keeping a beard is also apart of the Sunnah, a pious brother would also keep it..not to look religious but the fact that it is Sunnah to do so!
and yes it does matter what is inside the heart but one must take into concideration if he understands and has love for his deen in his heart..why does he not practice something which is apart of it? i.e keeping the beard...:rolleyes:
lol Allahu Alam just my petty opinion....Allah(swt) indeed knows best of everything! especially what dwells in the heart :inlove:
Subhan'Allah
:wswrwb:
ur_yusra
22-02-06, 09:09 PM
:salams
^^Na'am Masha'Allah :)
I think If I'm a true believer and sincerly Love Allah(swt)..I would automatically follow the Sunnah, and practicing Sunnah means implementing it in characteristics wise as well as everything else. If we follow the Sunnah how can we leave bits out of it?
so if keeping a beard is also apart of the Sunnah, a pious brother would also keep it..not to look religious but the fact that it is Sunnah to do so!
and yes it does matter what is inside the heart but one must take into concideration if he understands and has love for his deen in his heart..why does he not practice something which is apart of it? i.e keeping the beard...:rolleyes:
lol Allahu Alam just my petty opinion....Allah(swt) indeed knows best of everything! especially what dwells in the heart :inlove:
Subhan'Allah
:wswrwb:
wa alaikum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatahu sis..
not a petty opinion at all.. :up:
Multi-lingual
22-02-06, 09:10 PM
This is a difficult one, but I think that I'd be open enough to find out about her before I married her, as I'd assume my future wife (or her parents) would do for me. If I were to find someone who I thought I could inshallah spend a long and happy life together whilst perfecting our deen, then I'd consider it. After all, does anyone really know who they're marrying?
A sister with hijab who may be conniving; a brother with a fist length beard who is arrogant and stupid; or any combination therein: how do we really know unless we look behind the symbols? Even before marrying someone who seems religious, we must find out about them because the shaytaan could assume any form. How are we to know that behind a beard or hijab does not lurk something sinister, unless we find out?
So in conclusion; if I saw a genuine intention to be a good and practising muslimah and wife, then yes, I'd consider it.
ummbilal
22-02-06, 09:31 PM
interesting poll, you know appearences can be decieving, i know hijaabis who have weak imman, and people who have just converted with more taqwa,
a beard doesnt make u a good muslim, nor the length of your trousers, its whats in your heart that counts and how u impliment that,
inshaallah Allah will guide us all,
i would recommend to brothers, marry a sister MORE pious than u so you can strive to be better, inshaallah.
why not a sister marrying someone more pious than herself, afterall he will be head of the house, what he says goes....
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 09:47 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,why not a sister marrying someone more pious than herself, afterall he will be head of the house, what he says goes....Because men are weak when it comes to women, they will do anything they ask (kindly) to do.
On a serious note, I doubt many sisters would marry men who have less knowledge then themselves.
Ma'aSalaama
ummbilal
22-02-06, 09:50 PM
why not a sister marrying someone more pious than herself, afterall he will be head of the house, what he says goes....
well if everyone aims for someone more pious, it will make people try harder inshaallah, what he says goes yes, but if she is more pious surely that can only be good, it will help him raise his imman inshaallah and they'll raise pious children, as the mother is the one responcible for that mostly,
wouldnt u rather have a wife that woke u for fajr than one u had to shake awake??
ummbilal
22-02-06, 09:51 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,Because men are weak when it comes to women, they will do anything they ask (kindly) to do.
On a serious note, I doubt many sisters would marry men who have less knowledge then themselves.
Ma'aSalaama
I married a convert and we are learning together Allhumdulilah, i know many sisters who marry converts with little knowlage but high imman and there is mutual respect as they strive to please Allah.
Al-Dhikr
22-02-06, 10:02 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,I married a convert and we are learning together Allhumdulilah, i know many sisters who marry converts with little knowlage but high imman and there is mutual respect as they strive to please Allah.Masha'Allah, I stand corrected. May Allah (swt) bless the both of you with a wonderful and tranquil marriage, ameen.
Ma'aSalaama
hmmm i dno i thnk in marriage i've always seen me goin for someone with way more knowledge than me someone that i proper look up to and someone that gave me so much reason to love them cos they strived towards the path of Allah so strongly
Desi_Madam
22-02-06, 10:22 PM
i think if used correctly...it can actually help a person with their faith. the right encouragement from a more pious person than yourself could be the motivation you need. :up:
Ar-Raya
22-02-06, 11:55 PM
Whether you decide to marry someone with a better understanding of islam or a lesser understanding of islam...The idea is that you marry someone that will take u a step closer towards Allah subhannah wa ta'ala rather than a step back...
You do not want to marry someone that will be a burden on ur deen...Someone that makes u neglect all those sunnah's and nafl etc etc...
U want to marry someone that will encourage you to better yourself for the sake of Allah azawajal and for them to love you more because of it...
So whether you want to marry someone in order to share with them some of your knowledge of islam...whether you want to marry someone so that they may teach you or so that you may teach you...I think that the thing you should really consider is...If I marry this person will it benefit me deen wise,or if i marry this person is there a chance that i will neglect some of these things that i do...
For myself...I know there are some aspects of Islam that i am knowledgable about(Alhumdulilah)...and there are some subjects that i am not so knowledgable about...
InshaAllah when I am married I can be the student and the teacher...*smiles*...
That way InshaAllah my wife can get the barakah for teaching me things i didn't know previously...And I can get the barakah for teaching her...
*smiles*...InshaAllah ta'ala...
May Allah grant each one of you a partner (husband or Wife) that is a blessing for you...Someone whom by marrying both of you will become closer to Allah azawajal than you were before you were married...
May Allah ta'ala bless your marriages and your children and Increase the love between you,your husband/wife and your children...
May Allah ta'ala make you at the front of that line of people standing in the ummah of Muhammed Salalahu alaihi wa salam on the day that will be like no other day,ready to enter the best abode ever created...
ammeeeen
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 02:57 AM
Whether you decide to marry someone with a better understanding of islam or a lesser understanding of islam...The idea is that you marry someone that will take u a step closer towards Allah subhannah wa ta'ala rather than a step back...
You do not want to marry someone that will be a burden on ur deen...Someone that makes u neglect all those sunnah's and nafl etc etc...
U want to marry someone that will encourage you to better yourself for the sake of Allah azawajal and for them to love you more because of it...
So whether you want to marry someone in order to share with them some of your knowledge of islam...whether you want to marry someone so that they may teach you or so that you may teach you...I think that the thing you should really consider is...If I marry this person will it benefit me deen wise,or if i marry this person is there a chance that i will neglect some of these things that i do...
For myself...I know there are some aspects of Islam that i am knowledgable about(Alhumdulilah)...and there are some subjects that i am not so knowledgable about...
InshaAllah when I am married I can be the student and the teacher...*smiles*...
That way InshaAllah my wife can get the barakah for teaching me things i didn't know previously...And I can get the barakah for teaching her...
*smiles*...InshaAllah ta'ala...
May Allah grant each one of you a partner (husband or Wife) that is a blessing for you...Someone whom by marrying both of you will become closer to Allah azawajal than you were before you were married...
May Allah ta'ala bless your marriages and your children and Increase the love between you,your husband/wife and your children...
May Allah ta'ala make you at the front of that line of people standing in the ummah of Muhammed Salalahu alaihi wa salam on the day that will be like no other day,ready to enter the best abode ever created...
ammeeeen
:up: ameen barak Allahu feek, i feel that this relationship is essential...for no-one is perfect and abaayaas are not all that they seem neither are beards...
but i think we are forgeting that its hard to wear abaayaa or have a beard in todays soc so masha'Allah to those trying.., i mean i have started the abaaya but i have not worn it in coll yet and my own MUSLIM friends are finding it weird so Allah knows how my non-muslim friends will be... But may Allah increase my imaan and help us all with striving for the greater good....
as for husbands i would like the student teacher relationship...but with my imaan would prefer some one stronger to help me along...
May Allah guide us all...keep us on the straight path and give us Janaat al firdous...May He forgive me if i have said anything wrong..
^ masha allah sis is good to here ure tryin to wear abaya.. :)
i find its good if ure around ppl that wear abaya then u wont find it so difficult to wear it
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 03:27 AM
^ masha allah sis is good to here ure tryin to wear abaya.. :)
i find its good if ure around ppl that wear abaya then u wont find it so difficult to wear it
yeah lool its funny im more scared about my muslim friends then the non muslims...you see my friends are mainly erm progressive muslims as i used to eb for a short time...untill Allah swt guided me and insha'Allah he guides them...but its my final yr in coll...and so insha'Allah in future i will try mix with a lil more practising ppl wnt get my self in such a twist...
Fi amaan illah jazak Allahu khairan for your support.....
:inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 03:27 AM
^ masha allah sis is good to here ure tryin to wear abaya.. :)
i find its good if ure around ppl that wear abaya then u wont find it so difficult to wear it
yeah lool its funny im more scared about my muslim friends then the non muslims...you see my friends are mainly erm progressive muslims as i used to eb for a short time...untill Allah swt guided me and insha'Allah he guides them...but its my final yr in coll...and so insha'Allah in future i will try mix with a lil more practising ppl wnt get my self in such a twist...
Fi amaan illah jazak Allahu khairan for your support.....
:inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
i know wat u mean sis, u get more slack from your own sometimes wen u try to further yourself in your imaan/religion :rolleyes:
hecks sometimes my family (i.e sisters or cousins) start on me sometimes, one even said "well if u dont like the country u know wat u can do" ( we were talking about teh govts and tehir forign policies) :eek: :(
i feel liek giving them a good shake sometimes!
Refugee
23-02-06, 08:18 AM
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
Well i guess it depends - does she even prays or if she wear shorts pants, drinks, goes clubbing, smokes etc
m-shahzad
23-02-06, 10:34 AM
I think Soul should be pure!!the Body language(Face look) doesn't matter.
coz It all comes from the heart.Not by out look:rolleyes:
MalikOne™
23-02-06, 10:37 AM
true, id rather wear it for allahs sake then rather if my husband just told me.
But isnt wearing it because ur husband told u to for Allah's sake? You obey ur husband because Allah has commanded u to do so right, so as long as u recognise tha fact that ur pleasing Allah because ur pleasing ur husband by obeying his order, then that is doing it for the sake of Allah..alie?
And to tha question starter yeh I would, people change for each other, and if I saw potential in some one I liked, but they werent that religious, then we'd talk about it and try and solve it. Your there to help one another, none of us are perfect in our deen.
Desi_Madam
23-02-06, 10:38 AM
But isnt wearing it because ur husband told u to for Allah's sake? You obey ur husband because Allah has commanded u to do so right, so as long as u recognise tha fact that ur pleasing Allah because ur pleasing ur husband by obeying his order, then that is doing it for the sake of Allah..alie?
And to tha question starter yeh I would, people change for each other, and if I saw potential in some one I liked, but they werent that religious, then we'd talk about it and try and solve it. Your there to help one another, none of us are perfect in our deen.
nicely put..
abukatheer
23-02-06, 10:49 AM
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
Bismillaahi was Salaatu was Salaamu 'ala Rasoolillaahi wa 'ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam, wa ba'd:
Asalaam alaikum rahmatullahee wa barkatuhoo
Wonder whether the thread is still alive or not. Alright, the fact is that what the sister has asked seems pretty casual or just-to-know question. But seriously if you say yes it opens the door to many questions and if you say no then again many tongues to whip...and we bearded men( fungus faced) cant just stay quite. .....
My straightforward answer is No..... I beileve in tieing my camel and putting the trust on Allah ...i want to be more realistic not optimistic ( hoping vainly for vanity)...just coz the girl who doesnt practice hijaab might start practicising it ... May Allah guide all those girls who dont wear hijaab to practice and all those men who dont have a beard to have a beard,
No no no i am not jumping my guns and accusing any girl that so and so is characterless or less knowledgable or anything likes of this. Secondly.. If people are ignorant (Not knowing whats islam is, not weak and lazy) then the rulings differ however if the girl knows very well whats her Awra and how does she has to take care of her body (just not the face) if she knows whats her obligation when it comes dressing and socializing and does not practice in that case one has to worry about himself before marrying her. Because there are numerous hadeeths instructing and guiding and warning us about companionship..... well my wife is my companion and i would like to choose a one is better if not equal to me so that we compete together for mercy of Allah and correct each other.... when we fall short and warn each other when we cross the limits....
Read on the previous posts about how the conduct of the husband should be whether he has to command her or does the wife has to obey the commands of her or should the relationship should be like student-teacher. In regards to that remember what some of students of knowledge came across when few years back after the death of Sheikh Muqbil, rahimallah, they went to meet the wives of sheikh from uk..and they answered that " We learnt many things from the shiekh but one thing which really stands out is that whenever sheikh has to say something to be done he would always say Allah and His messenger has commanded us to do things like .....and Allah and His messenger has commanded us to do things like....everytime if the sheikh has to say something to his wives or correcting he would say Allah and His messenger has commanded us to do things like....
Perhaps it such a small statement but contains vital instructions as to how to convey and communicate with your beloved.....
Well with my fingers crossed i will see who will join me to get this thread back again up and running....
barakallaheefeekum
abukatheer irfan ibn maqbool.
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 11:55 AM
i know wat u mean sis, u get more slack from your own sometimes wen u try to further yourself in your imaan/religion :rolleyes:
hecks sometimes my family (i.e sisters or cousins) start on me sometimes, one even said "well if u dont like the country u know wat u can do" ( we were talking about teh govts and tehir forign policies) :eek: :(
i feel liek giving them a good shake sometimes!
Me too about the shake thing....its sad though that we ar soo divided that we can't even be happy when a sister/brother is trying to furhter their deen...Insha'Allah in uni i mix with the right ppl from the begining...but every1 has to start some where...dnt even come onto fam....my aunt rang me the other day saying she was worried that we (muslims) were goin to blow up her plane when she is going to egypt...and that she was so glad i was moderate....im like dead when my mums family find out i wear the abaayaa...its not goin to be a pretty site...but i have tried so hard to make islam nice for them....they will never be happy until i completly leave it...ba'ayda shaar....
May Allah keep us on the straight path...and bring us closer to him
Well i guess it depends - does she even prays or if she wear shorts pants, drinks, goes clubbing, smokes etc
well if she prayed, didn't drink or smoke or go clubbing, if she wore a hijab covering the head but like with trousers....
n abukatheer does that mean if she only wore a headscarf that wouldn't be enough for you? i mean like basically i wear combats and jumpers and stuff with a headscarf....so to you that would show i'm too weak in my religion?
i dno i was thinking this cos i really really really want my husband to be bearded, but then when you look around you see it's practically only the girls wearing abayas and everything that are married to the bearded folk
:up:
I think the most important thing is if the girl is open minded to the deen and wants to learn not everyone is on the same level.
Id want her to know why shes wearing the Hijab not because me or her parents forced her too. Also knowing why you wear the hijab is important because that gives u more understanding of the total hijab not just the cloth over ur head.
salaam,
ya Omar u r rite,:masha:
abukatheer
23-02-06, 01:16 PM
well if she prayed, didn't drink or smoke or go clubbing, if she wore a hijab covering the head but like with trousers....
n abukatheer does that mean if she only wore a headscarf that wouldn't be enough for you? i mean like basically i wear combats and jumpers and stuff with a headscarf....so to you that would show i'm too weak in my religion?
i dno i was thinking this cos i really really really want my husband to be bearded, but then when you look around you see it's practically only the girls wearing abayas and everything that are married to the bearded folk
Asalaam alaikum rahmatullahee wa barkatuhoo
Well i reiterate my point in a different angle i, abu katheer irfan ibn maqbool, for marriage i am not going to go the girls family and say " hey you folks listen i want your daughter to cover up completely black and i dont want her to reveal anything of her" absolutely not. Whom am i to say that dressing has been legislated by Allah and amply practiced by generations and generations so for selecting a girl for marriage hijab comes way down the line and beard as well. First is aqeedha so i will evaluate on aqeedah perhaps people did not mention this particular point which is so integral. Manhaj no one speaks about it now adays...
Sorry for arriving at your question this late.. i simply mean hijaab what the shareeah has legislated. However covering the face is not wajib as per Sheikh Albani but the other scholars have said that she has to even cover her face. '
Barakallaheefeekum
abukatheer irfan ibn maqbool.
Refugee
23-02-06, 01:33 PM
well if she prayed, didn't drink or smoke or go clubbing, if she wore a hijab covering the head but like with trousers....
n abukatheer does that mean if she only wore a headscarf that wouldn't be enough for you? i mean like basically i wear combats and jumpers and stuff with a headscarf....so to you that would show i'm too weak in my religion?
i dno i was thinking this cos i really really really want my husband to be bearded, but then when you look around you see it's practically only the girls wearing abayas and everything that are married to the bearded folk
Well if she wears combats or jeans then it depends if its too tight to show her figure or lose to keep her comfortable - especially now a days i am sorry to say this but alot of girls wear jeans and stuff so low that you could see her, how should i put it, her undies - thats a no-no for me - but lose stuff which doesnt show her figure is probably ok i guess i think i could marry a person like that.
Look i am not the judge who decide if someones faith is weak or not - i am not perfect - all i could say is Allah (swt) forgive us and direct us to the right path and Allah (swt) indeed knows best :up:
Black_Flag
23-02-06, 01:37 PM
i posted a vote on this 1! but only 2 c the results....man the non-bearded bro's have da most votes...
Refugee
23-02-06, 01:43 PM
i posted a vote on this 1! but only 2 c the results....man the non-bearded bro's have da most votes...
Most of the people who voted on the non-bearded section are sisters
m-shahzad
23-02-06, 01:47 PM
Most of the people who voted on the non-bearded section are sisters
:rotfl::rofl1::rotfl::rofl1::rotfl::rofl1:
Black_Flag
23-02-06, 01:48 PM
oooh loooool...really? *embarassed*
m-shahzad
23-02-06, 01:51 PM
oooh loooool...really? *embarassed*
Never mind:D
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 01:59 PM
Most of the people who voted on the non-bearded section are sisters
lool thats true thats what i did too....
Refugee
23-02-06, 02:03 PM
:rotfl::rofl1::rotfl::rofl1::rotfl::rofl1:
And i believe its a good thing that the sisters dont have beards :up: - otherwise there will be a cause for concern :(
elefantebianco
23-02-06, 02:09 PM
And i believe its a good thing that the sisters dont have beards :up: - otherwise there will be a cause for concern :(
yeah lool...i agree if we had beards that would be scary but how else could we be part of the poll....
Black_Flag
23-02-06, 02:18 PM
u mean we didnt have 2 grow a beard 2 post on this poll...oh damn!
Well if she wears combats or jeans then it depends if its too tight to show her figure or lose to keep her comfortable - especially now a days i am sorry to say this but alot of girls wear jeans and stuff so low that you could see her, how should i put it, her undies - thats a no-no for me - but lose stuff which doesnt show her figure is probably ok i guess i think i could marry a person like that.
Look i am not the judge who decide if someones faith is weak or not - i am not perfect - all i could say is Allah (swt) forgive us and direct us to the right path and Allah (swt) indeed knows best :up:
but you all would prefer someone that wore an abaya right?....someone that didn't would need something else about her to really stand out right?
Black_Flag
23-02-06, 02:22 PM
not necessarily sister...i mean u cant generalise us girls into what brothers want and what they dont. guys are different and so are we. i kno from experience that bearded guys do ask for sisters who do not wear abaya and seemingly are "less religous" then they are themselves.
i kno men who have the opinion that they should marry a sister who is "less religous" ( i hate using that term) than them mostly, so thay can help her increase in taqwa and also to help the guy 2 increase in taqwa. (of course allah is the one that guides or misguides etc).
jst my opinions...
Refugee
23-02-06, 02:36 PM
but you all would prefer someone that wore an abaya right?....someone that didn't would need something else about her to really stand out right?
Well wearing lose clothing is important abaya is not - which i.e. doesnt display her figure. Thats all i care. Women not showing off.
abdulhamid
23-02-06, 03:05 PM
i too feel i wouldn't marry her. i have been married before to a woman who was back and forth on her deen trying to serve two masters, the kufar and Allah ta ala. she decided the kufar was more important to her and she is therefore no longer my wife. however, she did manage to pull do my emaan (through my own aid as well <it takes 2>) as i saw signs of this in the beginging but wanted to love her and give her a chance for the sake of Allahu ta ala. i have come to realise and see that the deen and emaan is far too more important than allowing myself to get sucked back into a false world and lifestyle soo many muslims i see coming to the US and hear about in the UK along with the ones already there. the whole ummah is hurting as we have left our deen to mimick the kufar instead of being the strangers and travelers the Prophet(SAW) told us to be like.
may Allahu ta ala bless us all with companions who we can grow with and have as sources of encouragement to increase our deen. Ameen
Ruprecht
23-02-06, 03:28 PM
I don't actively descriminate based on how "religious" a woman is.
However if a woman wasn't christian or only paid lip service to christian beliefs, I doubt the relationship would get that far.
I tend to find myself attracted to Christian women more so than non-Christian women anyway (beyond physical attraction that is) .
janathi
23-02-06, 04:04 PM
:salams
hmm look what I found..interesting...:scratch:
CHECKING OUT THE BROTHER'S ISLAM BEFORE MARRIAGE
Unknown Author
1. Make sure the brother has the correct understanding of Tawheed. (see the Fundamentals of Tawheed by Bilalal Philips)
2. Make sure the brother believes and understands in the five pillars and the six articles of faith?
3. When the brother comes to meet with you check to see if he is correctly Islamicly dressed and that his beard is growing.
4.If he is a follower of any groups that have deviant practices or if he is following a group whose practices put them OUT of Islam you may rethink marrying him. Some of these groups are Nation of Islam, Shia, Ahmadiayah, Rashad Khalifa followers, Qadianis, 5% Nation, 12ers , and other unnamed groups. 12ers and other unnamed groups that are well known among the believers to have problems with their aqeedah
5. Ask him if he understands blind following of the Madhhabs (See Blind Following of Madhhabs by Shaykh Muhammad Sultan al-Ma'soomee al Khajnadee)
6. Some "scholars" have a modernistic slant, ask him which scholars he regularly refers to for Islamic materials and /or answers.
7. Has he pledged bayah to any one? If he has, this is a misunderstood
practice, and you many need to talk to him about it. See Huda Magazine.
8. Do you try to lower your gaze when looking at other women? Do you needlessly chat with women?
9. Will he expect his wife to be in the company of non-maharim men in your home or while visiting others, including his brothers?
10. Do you pray all the prayers on time, all 5, and the Sunnah prayers?
11. Do you fast all of Ramadan?
12. Do you engage in voluntary fasting?
13. Do you read Quran everyday or the translation of the meanings?
14. Do you remember to say your duas at certain times, like before eating, after eating, at time of sleep, when traveling, etc.?
15. Do you refrain from backbiting and slander?
16. Do you refrain from idle talk?
17. Are you careful to check your grocery products for haraam ingredients?
18. Are you able to divide your time reasonably between work and Islamic activities and your family?
19. Have you performed Hajj and/or Umrah?
20.Many scholars consider Music and photography (still and moving pictures, 1,2 and 3 D included) Islamicly unacceptable. Ask him if he partakes in these activities. Bukari# 7.110 Narrated by 'Aisha: " I bought a cushion having on it pictures (of animals). When Allah's Apostle saw it, he stood at the door and did not enter. I noticed the sign of disapproval on his face and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I repent to Allah and His Apostle. What sin have I committed?' Allah's Apostle said. "What is this cushion?" I said, "I have bought it for you so that you may sit on it and recline on it." Allah's Apostle said, "The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, 'Give life to what you have created (i.e., these pictures).' " The Prophet added, "The Angels of (Mercy) do.
:wswrwb:
muslim_sis
23-02-06, 05:05 PM
:salams
hmm look what I found..interesting...:scratch:
:wswrwb:
good piece ... but, asking questions simply like , do u pray on time ? do u fast ? do u do this and that etc... people can easily ''yes i do all of those, mashallah'' - but in reality not do them, hence just trying to impress.
...i fink one should go around the way they ask (sisters can refer to sis section;)lol)
muslim_sis
23-02-06, 05:23 PM
interesting poll, you know appearences can be decieving, i know hijaabis who have weak imman, and people who have just converted with more taqwa,
a beard doesnt make u a good muslim, nor the length of your trousers, its whats in your heart that counts and how u impliment that,
inshaallah Allah will guide us all,
i would recommend to brothers, marry a sister MORE pious than u so you can strive to be better, inshaallah.
Those qualities of a muslims mentioned: wearing a hijaab, growing a beard etc... these are teaching of the prophet, its sunnah,its our part of our deen. we cant argue against it..ok, people abuse it, but that doesn't mean to say that one carrying out these obligations shouldn't be regarded as a good muslims... of course if a sister/brother is practising their deen, their strong beliefs (in the truth) will inevitably make them want to follow the commands of Allah , as He has perfected our deen , as Al Islam!!!
and as u said ''whats in your heart that counts and how u impliment that''
whats in our hearts, inshallah Al Islam and how u implement that will influence ur appearance and approaches to life in general...
I see your point about how people abuse this,astaghfirallah, but just coz some silly odd people abuse it doesnt mean we dont take seriously the sunnah of the prophet...He is our exemplar...as are his companions an example for us...are we even near that!!!?
.......
regarding the topic question , the amount of knowledge one knows isn't a problem, whether they know little or a lot, BUT what matters is how or whether they practise upon it and their striving towards the straight path, hence , learning more and practsing -through this whole journey here in this life we should never stop seeking knowledge-but rather continue to better ourselves.
Allah guide us to that which is right, guide us to the straight path. Ameen .
Al-Dhikr
23-02-06, 06:46 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,if she wore a hijab covering the head but like with trousers....Sister in the Qur’an Allah (swt) commands the Muslim women to cover themselves with a Jilbaab. The following is Sheikh Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali & Muhammad Muhsin Khan's translation of the meaning of the Qur'an.
O Prophet! Tell your wifes and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Surah/Chapter 033 - Al Ahzab, Verse 59]
That is what it says, I have not added to it at all.
The veil in my (uneducated) opinion is not compulsory, but the cloak i.e. the Jilbaab that covers the shape of the body (and clothing) is a requirement. But saying that there are some opinions who say loose clothing is sufficient, and Allah (swt) knows best.
Personally I would like my wife to wear the Jilaab, as well as the Niqaab (Veil), although I would not think to mention the Niqaab for fear of directly/indirectly pressurising her to do something which she her self neither wants, not is ready for. i dno i was thinking this cos i really really really want my husband to be bearded, but then when you look around you see it's practically only the girls wearing abayas and everything that are married to the bearded folkIf I may be bold enough to ask, why do you want to marry a brother with a beard, as apposed to one without a beard?
The beard if from the Sunnah, and so is the Abaya/Jilbaab. It would only seem logical that a person whom is trying to follow the Sunnah would want to marry a person who likewise follows the Sunnah. My experience in life has taught me that you only get what you give.
I want a pious wife, that would no doubt require me to be at least try to be pious.
I don’t know if what I’ve said is making any sense, and I do realise that this topic is very dear to you. Please don’t take what I’ve said to heart, I in no way mean to hurt or cause any such pain to you (or anyone other Muslim for that matter), and by chance if I’ve hurt you, then I ask for your forgiveness.
Ma’aSalaama
ObserverIII
23-02-06, 06:56 PM
Less religious... How is an agnostic to define the degree of his/her religiousness?
Al-Dhikr
23-02-06, 07:06 PM
Dear ObserverIIILess religious... How is an agnostic to define the degree of his/her religiousness?That’s an interesting question. Might I propose God consciousness being a criteria. How much the person in question thinks of God when going about in their day to day activities in life.
Kind regards
Na'eemah
23-02-06, 07:10 PM
mashallah to the brothers who said they wouldnt marry someone less religious than them...i say this bcos in islam we are encouraged to marry someone for their religion! So if i was a boy, i would have voted NO! im quite shocked that most of the brothers said yes :torture: :rubeyes: :S
PaGaL~LaDo0
23-02-06, 08:07 PM
mzt sed yea s0 d@ dey cud hlp mke er m0r rlgz!
hmmmmm k this is where i feel crap lol hmm
i dno i've just always wanted to marry a bearded man, obviously strong in his religion too, but someone that's strong in their religion AND can have a beard in these times must be strong as a person....plus inshAllah he would feel more shame to abstain from ever sinning in public since not only would he be worsening things for himself but as a charecteristically 'muslim looking man' he would be representing his religion openly so would inshAllah try and humble himself....
hmmmm i still wear a hijab so i'd say that i am still recognisably a muslim...and wearing my hijaab ensures that i take steps to preserve my modesty too and try and act like a muslimah should.....just i don't know why i won't wear an abaya....hmmm that's where this whole issue lies....if i did i, i wouldn't even need to worry about this........i know that if my husband asked me to wear it i definately would....but i dno at the moment i dno....
i know that i should wear one, and thinking about me putting myself first rather than the command of Allah makes me feel crap but i just don't know why i won't and the fact i realise all this probably makes it a million times worse that i don't aswell....if i did wear it before marriage i know i would want to be properly ready and make sure that i'd never go from wearing it back to not wearing it...hmmmmmmmmm *headache* lol
janathi
23-02-06, 10:31 PM
good piece ... but, asking questions simply like , do u pray on time ? do u fast ? do u do this and that etc... people can easily ''yes i do all of those, mashallah'' - but in reality not do them, hence just trying to impress.
...i fink one should go around the way they ask (sisters can refer to sis section;)lol)
:salams
lol I agree sis!..Subhan'Allah :p
Those qualities of a muslims mentioned: wearing a hijaab, growing a beard etc... these are teaching of the prophet, its sunnah,its our part of our deen. we cant argue against it..ok, people abuse it, but that doesn't mean to say that one carrying out these obligations shouldn't be regarded as a good muslims... of course if a sister/brother is practising their deen, their strong beliefs (in the truth) will inevitably make them want to follow the commands of Allah , as He has perfected our deen , as Al Islam!!!
and as u said ''whats in your heart that counts and how u impliment that''
whats in our hearts, inshallah Al Islam and how u implement that will influence ur appearance and approaches to life in general...
I see your point about how people abuse this,astaghfirallah, but just coz some silly odd people abuse it doesnt mean we dont take seriously the sunnah of the prophet...He is our exemplar...as are his companions an example for us...are we even near that!!!?
.......
regarding the topic question , the amount of knowledge one knows isn't a problem, whether they know little or a lot, BUT what matters is how or whether they practise upon it and their striving towards the straight path, hence , learning more and practsing -through this whole journey here in this life we should never stop seeking knowledge-but rather continue to better ourselves.
Allah guide us to that which is right, guide us to the straight path. Ameen .
Ameen!!!..Subhan'Allah beautifully said my sis!:inlove:
:wswrwb:
hmmmmm k this is where i feel crap lol hmm
i dno i've just always wanted to marry a bearded man, obviously strong in his religion too, but someone that's strong in their religion AND can have a beard in these times must be strong as a person....plus inshAllah he would feel more shame to abstain from ever sinning in public since not only would he be worsening things for himself but as a charecteristically 'muslim looking man' he would be representing his religion openly so would inshAllah try and humble himself....
hmmmm i still wear a hijab so i'd say that i am still recognisably a muslim...and wearing my hijaab ensures that i take steps to preserve my modesty too and try and act like a muslimah should.....just i don't know why i won't wear an abaya....hmmm that's where this whole issue lies....if i did i, i wouldn't even need to worry about this........i know that if my husband asked me to wear it i definately would....but i dno at the moment i dno....
i know that i should wear one, and thinking about me putting myself first rather than the command of Allah makes me feel crap but i just don't know why i won't and the fact i realise all this probably makes it a million times worse that i don't aswell....if i did wear it before marriage i know i would want to be properly ready and make sure that i'd never go from wearing it back to not wearing it...hmmmmmmmmm *headache* lol
:salams sis,
May Allah make it easy for you to wear an abayah and may he allow us all to practice the deen of al Islam to its fullest :)
Dont worry about it to much inshaAllah, maybe you could post in the sisters forum for advice and explain whats stopping you and why you feel uncomfortable in it etc.
.: Anna :.
24-02-06, 07:38 AM
:salams sis,
May Allah make it easy for you to wear an abayah and may he allow us all to practice the deen of al Islam to its fullest :)
Dont worry about it to much inshaAllah, maybe you could post in the sisters forum for advice and explain whats stopping you and why you feel uncomfortable in it etc.she doesnt hav access, but random if u wna apply for access then make a help desk ticket insha allah.
u are pagal ladoos sister right? so we shud not hav problem wit ur access, n we can talk 2 u about jilbab and stuff... quite a few sisters in the sis area started wearing it only recently within this last year or so so insha allah we can tell u how it went n all
elefantebianco
24-02-06, 11:36 AM
hmmmmm k this is where i feel crap lol hmm
i dno i've just always wanted to marry a bearded man, obviously strong in his religion too, but someone that's strong in their religion AND can have a beard in these times must be strong as a person....plus inshAllah he would feel more shame to abstain from ever sinning in public since not only would he be worsening things for himself but as a charecteristically 'muslim looking man' he would be representing his religion openly so would inshAllah try and humble himself....
hmmmm i still wear a hijab so i'd say that i am still recognisably a muslim...and wearing my hijaab ensures that i take steps to preserve my modesty too and try and act like a muslimah should.....just i don't know why i won't wear an abaya....hmmm that's where this whole issue lies....if i did i, i wouldn't even need to worry about this........i know that if my husband asked me to wear it i definately would....but i dno at the moment i dno....
i know that i should wear one, and thinking about me putting myself first rather than the command of Allah makes me feel crap but i just don't know why i won't and the fact i realise all this probably makes it a million times worse that i don't aswell....if i did wear it before marriage i know i would want to be properly ready and make sure that i'd never go from wearing it back to not wearing it...hmmmmmmmmm *headache* lol
salams ya ukhti fi deen illah,
Insha’Allah this reaches you in the best health and highest state of imaan....i feel firstly i need to say Masha'Allah for you recognise the need to wear it and Insha’Allah tala Allah will make it easy for you and strengthen your imaan so that you do...
Its hard to jump into wearing the abaayaa i only started last month...so my advice is try and find clothes that cover your figure...and preserve your modesty...its even hard at times to wear scarf so *pat on the back* for doing that....:D in due time you will find that no matter how baggy your clothes are you do not feel that they completely cover you...and then you will start looking into it more...to be honest i think it comes down to hanging out with the right crowed...although my friends are not practising muslimah15 (my lil sis) try and encourage one another...may be you can find some one to do this...so at times when your imaan is weak they will help you pull it up....i will now stop ranting on...my dear sister may Allah give you happiness in this life and the next...and a husband that you can help one another excel in the deen. :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
p.s do not feel like crap your in my prayers insha'Allah Allah make this an easy journey...
PaGaL~LaDo0
24-02-06, 04:22 PM
^ yea shez ma sis :( :p she d0z wr lze clthinshe juz c0z v n0 ppl d@ ave wrn da jilbaab den tuk it 0f d@z y she wntz ta mke sre itz da rte tng n shez rdy 4 it innit :D
elefantebianco
24-02-06, 04:33 PM
^ yea shez ma sis :( :p she d0z wr lze clthinshe juz c0z v n0 ppl d@ ave wrn da jilbaab den tuk it 0f d@z y she wntz ta mke sre itz da rte tng n shez rdy 4 it innit :D
yeah i understand what you mean my lil sis said that too...she does not want to have to take it off so when she finally puts it on she would like it to be permenant...May Allah make it easy for all of us...:D
abukatheer
24-02-06, 06:31 PM
Asalaam alaikum rahmatullahee wa barkatuhoo
Allhumdulilah as you have the desire and will to protect yourself and value yourself Allah will make things easy for you ...and about thinking million times makes things difficult then just relax because shaytaan always whispers in your mind so i believe the imaginations of it being difficult and making feel low is nothing but the trick of shaytaan ..
barakallaheefeekum
abukatheer
abukatheer
24-02-06, 06:32 PM
salams ya ukhti fi deen illah,
Insha’Allah this reaches you in the best health and highest state of imaan....i feel firstly i need to say Masha'Allah for you recognise the need to wear it and Insha’Allah tala Allah will make it easy for you and strengthen your imaan so that you do...
Its hard to jump into wearing the abaayaa i only started last month...so my advice is try and find clothes that cover your figure...and preserve your modesty...its even hard at times to wear scarf so *pat on the back* for doing that....:D in due time you will find that no matter how baggy your clothes are you do not feel that they completely cover you...and then you will start looking into it more...to be honest i think it comes down to hanging out with the right crowed...although my friends are not practising muslimah15 (my lil sis) try and encourage one another...may be you can find some one to do this...so at times when your imaan is weak they will help you pull it up....i will now stop ranting on...my dear sister may Allah give you happiness in this life and the next...and a husband that you can help one another excel in the deen. :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
p.s do not feel like crap your in my prayers insha'Allah Allah make this an easy journey...
Asalaam alaikum rahmatullahee wa barkatuhoo
Allhumdulilah as you have the desire and will to protect yourself and value yourself Allah will make things easy for you ...and about thinking million times makes things difficult then just relax because shaytaan always whispers in your mind so i believe the imaginations of it being difficult and making feel low is nothing but the trick of shaytaan ..
barakallaheefeekum
abukatheer
__________________
hmmm thank u everyone......this thread just started me asking a simple question but its made me think more and more about what i should do before i start deciding what i would like my husband to be like...
just if i were to wear it if my husband asked me to would that be wrong because i didn't have the strength to do it beforehand? hmmmmmmmm
Al-Dhikr
24-02-06, 09:10 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,just if i were to wear it if my husband asked me to would that be wrong because i didn't have the strength to do it beforehand? hmmmmmmmmI don't believe that would be wrong at all, but like others said, all actions must be done for the pleasure of Allah (swt) alone, even obeying your husband is done for Allah's (swt) pleasure (all other pleasures are only an off shoot), as long as the action does not cause Allah's displeasure, in that case you can't do it.
But remember no matter who tells you to do it, at the end the strength must come from you and you alone (with Allah's (swt) help). Ask yourself, what makes you so sure you'll have the strength just because someone else asked it of you, you'll still have to do it yourself, and face the reality of it very much alone. Your husband will not be there with you 24/7, wherever you go.
I remember when I first came back into the Deen, I was so excited and I wanted to tell the whole world about what I’d found i.e. the truth. But it seemed no one listened or even cared, maybe due to my own fault, in my excitement I had become very confrontational. But I remember something a brother once told me, I forget who he was but he said to me; “The only person you can change is yourself (with Allah’s (swt) help).”
Ma'aSalaama
abukatheer
24-02-06, 09:24 PM
hmmm thank u everyone......this thread just started me asking a simple question but its made me think more and more about what i should do before i start deciding what i would like my husband to be like...
just if i were to wear it if my husband asked me to would that be wrong because i didn't have the strength to do it beforehand? hmmmmmmmm
Asalaam alaikum rahmatullahee wa barkatuhoo
What do i say now.... yeah.. my apologisies for not able to exactly remember the dua which sheikh ul islam ibn taymiah use to pray. What i read and heard from pretty reliable folks around me about shiekh ul islam ibn taymiah is that he use to wipe his face on the ground (mud not the mats in the mosque or tiles at home) and he use to say absolutely in tears O Allah the Lord of mikaeel, israfeel.... its a dua inshallah if time permit i will quote entirely and ask Allah for anything he wanted in fact dua is an integral part of our life and many dont know the power of dua its a real cause of concern. As its very obvious that you have the will and intentions and you long ..i would suggest you to pray salaah and ask Allah to give you the strength indeed Allah has guided and indeed Allah will strengthen you as well just stick on and pray and ask to Allah alone as much as you can for anything and everything Inshallah the day is not far that you will be absolutely glad in this world as well in the hereafter happily married to a really pious and practicing brothers( All brothers reading pray to Allah)
And for now just pray at time of Tahjud its one of the time for the prayers to be answered...and i mean ask dua with full strength and by submitting yourself and inshallah you will have the strength to do all that pleases Allah alone.....
About you wearing coz your hubby asked you to do...in fact he is enjoining good and you are practicing good. There is nothing wrong in that ...perhaps the tafsir of suratul Asr by Imaam Ibn Katheer would help you understand the principle quite clearly......this is my opnion....
Well i guess now i better sign off
Whatever i said if it is true then indeed is from Allah alone and anything wrong in this then it is from me (seeks forgiviness for that)
Barakallaheefeekum
abukatheer irfan ibn maqbool
bint-shariqah
10-03-06, 08:00 AM
salamz guys!
amm not showin off or anyfink but Salah Bukhatir is ma skewl's chairman! :D hes a great man indeed...and i love hys voice as well! mashallah! nyways dats all folks!
xxx rida
:salams,
For me it would be neccessary, at least the basics, which is the jilbaab and hijab.Thats like saying would I marry a girl who doesnt do her 5 prayers...The fardh is neccessary, Sunnahs are preferred, but wouldnt be deciding factor.
Works both ways. (If) I was a bro without a beard d someone who wears Niqaabi said to me no cos I dont have a beard, thats fair enough..
OFF TOPIC: KAAAAAAAAAAF, HAAAA, YAAA, AYN SAAAAAAAD (listen to Surah Maryam by Salah Bukhatir, its sooo beautiful mashaAllah)
ThE aPpReNtIcE
11-03-06, 11:48 AM
i think..i would marry a girl..who has less eman..and work on her to be better..
MalikOne™
11-03-06, 11:57 AM
The question is would she marry you?? Ive witnessed it- a woman with less emaan going for a bro with high emaan- it doesent work out, because they cant relate on alot of levels..
ThE aPpReNtIcE
11-03-06, 11:58 AM
idk..i ve been on both levels (i guess)..and it could work..i mean if she has the will to change...or the heart
MalikOne™
11-03-06, 11:59 AM
idk..i ve been on both levels (i guess)..and it could work..i mean if she has the will to change...or the heart
Yeh but if she doesent it will not work.
ThE aPpReNtIcE
11-03-06, 12:10 PM
thats true thats why u gotta check it out before u hook it up..
tauheedul
11-03-06, 01:56 PM
I woul probably marry a girl who is less religious. If she isnt that religious, you make them understand and by allahs will he will bestow hidayat upon her insha'allah. But a pious woman is one in a million and if i find one i will marry her ASAP even if she is a revert.
;) :up:
If the time came, probably, 'cos I don't really know anyone who wears a hijab.
slmz :)
12-03-06, 08:51 PM
im changing the gender.. to if it was a guy
the beauty of marriage is that u always learn from one and other.. ur always there 4 each other, man and woman. husband and wife.....
islam teaches 'ilm and encourages it by all means.. there fore u would teach ur partner how to become a better mslim and this will help u become a better person inshaallah. :)
w.slmz
shaima
*islamia
12-03-06, 10:58 PM
As Salamu Alakium Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatu,
I think the brothers should marry a religious woman. Piety is one of the things Rasolullah (asws) said to marry a woman for. If shes not pious, shes not eligible. Honestly, I cant blame brothers for not marrying sisters who arent religious, its hard to find religious women these days...
And as for dresscode, a headscarf, isnt hijab. Anyone can throw on a scarf. Hijab has rules.
1)Condtions of Hijab: 1.Hijab for a women is to cover the whole body except hands and face 2. not to be attractive 3.---- 4. for a hijab of a women to be loose and not tight 5. Hijab to not be wornwith perfume 6. Not to reseble the clothing of men 7. not to resemble clothing of Kufar, nor of the famous
Pants are a def no no sisters. No matter if they are loose, or you have a large shirt to cover your backside, it doesnt matter. They are resembling the clothes of the Kuffar, and it still shows the shape of your legs. Anyways why do you wanna look like a disbeliever, destined for hell??!!
ze leetle elper
16-03-06, 11:52 AM
This thread is too long to read... :zzz:
However, in terms of marrying someone who has more or less 'imaan' than you -- Idon't think is such a black and white question.
Imaan is never constant. It fluctuates in all of us every day of our lives. Sometimes we feel low in imaan and far from Allah (swt). Sometimes we feel close to Allah (swt) and our imaan is strong.
This is true for every person; what is important here is not the 'strength' of the imaan (because that is changeable) but the actions which bring about the strength/weakness in that fluctuation.
This could be anything from being a very determined person, able to will yourself to keep on going even when the odds seems against you. Or it could be nafl actions such as fasting/ salah. Or it could be someone who has a deep love, respect and honour for Islam in their hearts therefore would never be totally astray even throughout very difficult times.
It is also to keep in mind that everyone is coming from their own perspectives of the world. We were all brought up differently. We all had different childhood experiences. We read different books/ saw different things/ formed different opinions. Some of us are stronger, some are gentler. Some of us are open to various suggestion. Some are adamant in thier own way. We had different friends, different relationships with our siblings an parents.
All those things affect how and what a person is like. Essentially we can only view that person from our own perspective, because that is all we have ever known.
So the point is (yes there is one somewhere :D ) that its not so easy to make standard judegment on things like 'I would marry someone with more/less imaan or knowledge or religious appearance' etc., because that is not the all and end all of a person. Like we are ourselves, all of us have feelings and emotions, ideas and dreams, opinions and character...which is not necessarily easily *seen* or *observed* in a single glance. Some of those things take years to discover, some take a few weeks.
SoulAsylum
16-03-06, 11:56 AM
The question is would she marry you?? Ive witnessed it- a woman with less emaan going for a bro with high emaan- it doesent work out, because they cant relate on alot of levels..
Its got nothing to do with imaan......
its about personality and wether ther compatible.
MalikOne™
16-03-06, 12:03 PM
Its got nothing to do with imaan......
its about personality and wether ther compatible.
Imaan shapes ones personality to quite a large extent....
:smack: @)
SoulAsylum
16-03-06, 03:25 PM
Imaan shapes ones personality to quite a large extent....
:smack: @)
Imaan does'nt shape every part of ur personality...
like which football team you support, which food do you like,
where you want to travel, what you like in life - adventure, quietness, simplicity, action and so on and so on.
MalikOne™
16-03-06, 07:21 PM
Imaan does'nt shape every part of ur personality...
like which football team you support, which food do you like,
where you want to travel, what you like in life - adventure, quietness, simplicity, action and so on and so on.
No not every part...but it does play quite a significant part, if ur emaan is generally high, then your personailty would be one of Islamic Nature and things of interest or most importance will be ones of Islamic Value, and if your partner doesent hold the same values then things could go wrong, anyway I hate theorising marriage, because Marriage is not theory its practical...everybody handles things in different ways. I was jus using one example I had witnessed which I probably had percieved wrong anyway...
peace2u
17-03-06, 03:55 AM
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
As a female, I can't really answer that question but I can say that I would not want to marry a man that is not religious or at least as religious as me. That is because I want someone who will lead me to Jannah not away from it. It's not about saying I'm better than this person or that, but it's about being around those who will not influence you in the wrong way.
Peace
Al-Muhaajiroun
17-03-06, 06:05 AM
This is a difficult one, but I think that I'd be open enough to find out about her before I married her, as I'd assume my future wife (or her parents) would do for me. If I were to find someone who I thought I could inshallah spend a long and happy life together whilst perfecting our deen, then I'd consider it. After all, does anyone really know who they're marrying?
A sister with hijab who may be conniving; a brother with a fist length beard who is arrogant and stupid; or any combination therein: how do we really know unless we look behind the symbols? Even before marrying someone who seems religious, we must find out about them because the shaytaan could assume any form. How are we to know that behind a beard or hijab does not lurk something sinister, unless we find out?
So in conclusion; if I saw a genuine intention to be a good and practising muslimah and wife, then yes, I'd consider it.Thats why its all about the Istikarah Bruv:D
is there any way of finding the true cause or root of something you won't do even though you should?
PaGaL~LaDo0
02-04-06, 04:05 PM
thnk u :D :p
very interesting thread.
hmm any wise words to add......
When we go out to the local market to buy an item, be it a car, a shoe, some vegies, whatever it is, we look at the current state of the item. We would never put our money in something that has been promised to us to come good in the future. E.g "the shoe will start shining two weeks later".
That is only money, it comes in via one hand and out through the other.
Using the same analogy how would a sane person invest their life in a person whos current state is not according to Quran and Sunnah?
To say the least it is a big gamble, especially since we do not have the faculties to estimate what would be the future progress of that person. The person can have a 'good heart' etc, but as a human we dont really know. We can only weigh things by what we see. Are they following the Quran and Sunnah, do they follow the Far'aid, Salah, Hijab, Zakah, Sawm, Hajj etc.
According to the Sunnah we are taught to look for certain things in a partner. If we were to say "Oh inshallah she/he will become good" then we are actually not following the hadith.
In an emotional sense we do feel attachment and attraction and we may get shadowy about what is the right decision. However if we detach ourselves and look at it by merit, then the answer would be, only if they are following Quran and Sunnah would I then take them as a partner.
That isnt always true, e.g., when you buy a land, you may do so knowing that its value will increase in a few years... :p
But anyway, I guess it would depend on the Istikhara... :)
That isnt always true, e.g., when you buy a land, you may do so knowing that its value will increase in a few years... :p
But anyway, I guess it would depend on the Istikhara... :)
lol can you buy land from your local market? :rolleyes:
The rule still applies, one does buying based on its current state. For example you go to a suburb and the whole area has beautiful level blocks, with good frontages and access and nice views, and nice homes being built, one would invest in that area, because you know it has potential.
I doubt you would go down to the bronks, were there are shanty towns, sewrage running down the side of the street, blocks unleveled, bad access, no views etc, would you invest in that?
hmmm you're using the extremes....
what about an area about to get redeveloped.....like the london docklands lol, that was in a proper bad state but now its like the place to be...
i think if someone has the drive to do something and they just need that little kick start to get them going....people should be glad to help but then i so know that they don't think like that based on first judgements hmmm i dno
lol, Random is absolutely right, there are many many slums in London being redeveloped, and the prices are going to rocket..
BUT ANYWAY, the point Hekmaa is making is that if you did do something like this, it would be a gamble, similarly, if you did marry someone not as religious..it would be a gamble..
But hey, TAWAKAL ALLAH ALL THE WAY...
:p
AbuMusaab
19-07-07, 12:16 AM
I said no, but I would say depends and it would depend on her making some changes.
:salams
lol alhamdulillah just niqaab now inshaAllah inshaAllah :hidban: :hidban:
I said no, but I would say depends and it would depend on her making some changes.
:salams
depending on changes?
yeh but aki thats the whole point right u mary sum1 less "religious" then u so eu can help them and guide them and help them mkt them changes to become evn better and more "religious" then ur selves..so u kids can be EVAn more practsing right? coz if u marry sum1 less practsing say and they dont want to change then they wudnt relly wanna maryy u wud they coz they'd know ud expect chagnes to happen init?
:salams
depending on changes?
yeh but aki thats the whole point right u mary sum1 less "religious" then u so eu can help them and guide them and help them mkt them changes to become evn better and more "religious" then ur selves..so u kids can be EVAn more practsing right? coz if u marry sum1 less practsing say and they dont want to change then they wudnt relly wanna maryy u wud they coz they'd know ud expect chagnes to happen init?
yeh that's true..I see that alot..I would say that it depends on the extent really of which the girl appears less of a practising muslim if u wanna call it ie no niqab/jilbab...
yeh that's true..I see that alot..I would say that it depends on the extent really of which the girl appears less of a practising muslim if u wanna call it ie no niqab/jilbab...
yeh but then again theres siters out there who r like proper practsing , very knoledgeble but sum times lack the self confidnce to wear jilbab and niqaab evan a scaaf thingy.. but i guess this time of stuff does show the persons outward emaan tho right..like the brother wid beards and roll ups..r not nes the most religious..as some brothers r proper Rel. hafiz and all sorts and everything but no beards and dnt roll up..so look like normal joe's
Emelianenko
19-07-07, 12:47 AM
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
oui
oui
loooooool..does that mean yes?
Emelianenko
19-07-07, 12:54 AM
loooooool..does that mean yes?
na3m :p
yeh but then again theres siters out there who r like proper practsing , very knoledgeble but sum times lack the self confidnce to wear jilbab and niqaab evan a scaaf thingy.. but i guess this time of stuff does show the persons outward emaan tho right..like the brother wid beards and roll ups..r not nes the most religious..as some brothers r proper Rel. hafiz and all sorts and everything but no beards and dnt roll up..so look like normal joe's
yes good point but would u not agree that hijab is quite imporant when going for the other half...ie forget jillys n niq's bu you'd at least want someone with modest dressing (like i sed it depends on extent to which she appears less of a practiser than yaself)...i mean imaan in islam is what drives you to cover yaself...right?..but I gets what ya mean when tlkin bout the bros..
insomniac
19-07-07, 01:05 AM
yes good point but would u not agree that hijab is quite imporant when going for the other half...ie forget jillys n niq's bu you'd at least want someone with modest dressing (like i sed it depends on extent to which she appears less of a practiser than yaself)...i mean imaan in islam is what drives you to cover yaself...right?..but I gets what ya mean when tlkin bout the bros..
ya see even with sisters there are some who do not cover in hijaab yet their intentions are in the right place and subhanAllaah they are much better in character than I am.
Given that a practising guy gives them a chance most these gals would be observing hijaab in no time at all insha'Allaah :up:
Emelianenko
19-07-07, 01:06 AM
yes good point but would u not agree that hijab is quite imporant when going for the other half...ie forget jillys n niq's bu you'd at least want someone with modest dressing (like i sed it depends on extent to which she appears less of a practiser than yaself)...i mean imaan in islam is what drives you to cover yaself...right?..but I gets what ya mean when tlkin bout the bros..
yes and no. I mean one cud be wearing hijab and pants so tight their bottoms bout to explode. I mean what is the significance of the hijab then? or wearing a hijab/beard and not gaurding gazes...i mean it may look the part but its a lot lot more than just covering ones head or growing a beard.
i mean a sis may not look at lads and not wear hijab..what drives her to gaurd gazes? Imaan right?
:salams
yeh but then again..a ssiter lowering her gaze out of her emaan shud relaise that the aya's aboout hijab 2 ?
Emelianenko
19-07-07, 01:14 AM
:salams
yeh but then again..a ssiter lowering her gaze out of her emaan shud relaise that the aya's aboout hijab 2 ?
and vice versa for one who may wear hijab and not gaurd gazes.
as stated earlier, mashaAllah there are lasses who in the head are clued up and good head on shoulders and as with everyone, bit of effort and they excel many,
insomniac
19-07-07, 01:14 AM
:salams
yeh but then again..a ssiter lowering her gaze out of her emaan shud relaise that the aya's aboout hijab 2 ?
but then what of the sister in hijaab who cannot lower her gaze?
ImaanSeeker
19-07-07, 01:18 AM
:salams
yeh but then again..a ssiter lowering her gaze out of her emaan shud relaise that the aya's aboout hijab 2 ?
It's quite a paradox. I agree that that some sisters without hijaab may have more taqwa than their hijaabi counterparts.
And it makes one wonder why they don't just observer hijaab? It may stem from a number of reasons: her family does not like it, no one in her family observes hijaab, she may not understand the importance of hijaab due to lack of awareness, etc.
For a sister like this to start wearing hijaab, all she might need is a religious brother to marry her and give her the slight push to start wearing hijaab.
But having said that, I might be a hypocrite for saying this, but I still would have a tough time marrying someone who presently is not wearing hijaab/niqaab. It's just too big a risk to take for a life long commitment.
Saeed Al-Muslim
19-07-07, 01:18 AM
:salams
lol alhamdulillah just niqaab now inshaAllah inshaAllah :hidban: :hidban:Wa Alaikum Salaam,
I am so sorry, I was reading through this thread again and I voted without realising it would bump it up.
P.s. Masha'Allah
P.p.s. I've read the whole thread again, it's funny how you see small details you've missed the first time round.
OK soi a sister doesn't wear hijaab but lowers her gaze (mashaAllah) but is she is allowing fr all other guys to take a peek at her muslim/not...of course whether that is the case would depend on the bro's haya too
insomniac
19-07-07, 01:22 AM
OK soi a sister doesn't wear hijaab but lowers her gaze (mashaAllah) but is she is allowing fr all other guys to take a peek at her muslim/not...of course whether that is the case would depend on the bro's haya too
:confused: sorry sis I didn't understand :o
It's quite a paradox. I agree that that some sisters without hijaab may have more taqwa than their hijaabi counterparts.
And it makes one wonder why they don't just observer hijaab? It may stem from a number of reasons: her family does not like it, no one in her family observes hijaab, she may not understand the importance of hijaab due to lack of awareness, etc.
For a sister like this to start wearing hijaab, all she might need is a religious brother to marry her and give her the slight push to start wearing hijaab.
But having said that, I might be a hypocrite for saying this, but I still would have a tough time marrying someone who presently is not wearing hijaab/niqaab. It's just too big a risk to take for a life long commitment.
Good point ..
AbuMusaab
19-07-07, 01:25 AM
I do not expect her to be perfect, and I will not demand too much. But her heart should be open, insha'Allah, and we can help each other.
It's quite a paradox. I agree that that some sisters without hijaab may have more taqwa than their hijaabi counterparts.
And it makes one wonder why they don't just observer hijaab? It may stem from a number of reasons: her family does not like it, no one in her family observes hijaab, she may not understand the importance of hijaab due to lack of awareness, etc.
For a sister like this to start wearing hijaab, all she might need is a religious brother to marry her and give her the slight push to start wearing hijaab.
But having said that, I might be a hypocrite for saying this, but I still would have a tough time marrying someone who presently is not wearing hijaab/niqaab. It's just too big a risk to take for a life long commitment.
:salams
i comlety agre wid yah..but then what happens to all them ssiters needing that little support and extra boost??? but i see where ur cumin from, i jst wudnt find it easy to propose to sum1 who didnt wear hijab at least 2...
hmm i jst dnt know i guess i jst got over RESPECT for our sister in jilbab and NIQAB man !!! may allah bless them..seeing them on road jst gives yah an emman boost right there..like yeh..shes muslim, shes covered and shes my sis! looool *ahem* i think ima stop there now...
yes and no. I mean one cud be wearing hijab and pants so tight their bottoms bout to explode. I mean what is the significance of the hijab then? or wearing a hijab/beard and not gaurding gazes...i mean it may look the part but its a lot lot more than just covering ones head or growing a beard.
i mean a sis may not look at lads and not wear hijab..what drives her to gaurd gazes? Imaan right?
:confused: sorry sis I didn't understand :o
Sorry forgot to quote..what I mean is that she has faith to lower her gaze but she should help others to do so too...if not in hijaab then of course she is allowing herself to be looked at by dudes...right..I mean that may not be the intent wallahu alam..I'm just sayin
insomniac
19-07-07, 01:30 AM
Sorry forgot to quote..what I mean is that she has faith to lower her gaze but she should help others to do so too...if not in hijaab then of course she is allowing herself to be looked at by dudes...right..I mean that may not be the intent wallahu alam..I'm just sayin
this is where she may need the push from a potential religious beardo husband unless she realises before hand which is also the case :) :up:
ImaanSeeker
19-07-07, 01:38 AM
:salams
i comlety agre wid yah..but then what happens to all them ssiters needing that little support and extra boost??? but i see where ur cumin from, i jst wudnt find it easy to propose to sum1 who didnt wear hijab at least 2...
hmm i jst dnt know i guess i jst got over RESPECT for our sister in jilbab and NIQAB man !!! may allah bless them..seeing them on road jst gives yah an emman boost right there..like yeh..shes muslim, shes covered and shes my sis! looool *ahem* i think ima stop there now...
:wswrwb:
Yeah bro, those sisters that wear hijaab, jilbab, niqaab, they truly are the golden standard of the Ummah. MashaAllah, they represent the modesty, chastity and dignity that our Beloved Prophet :saw: taught us. May Allah(swt) reward them.
I think many brothers need to learn from these sisters as well. I think today brothers are more scared and embarrassed than sisters, to look and dress like muslims.
:wswrwb:
Yeah bro, those sisters that wear hijaab, jilbab, niqaab, they truly are the golden standard of the Ummah. MashaAllah, they represent the modesty, chastity and dignity that our Beloved Prophet :saw: taught us. May Allah(swt) reward them.
I think many brothers need to learn from these sisters as well. I think today brothers are more scared and embarrassed than sisters, to look and dress like muslims.
:salams
*smiles* gota give it to u mte..cudnt hve put it better my self!!!
its a shame the ssiters are mre proud nowa days of beeing seen as muslims then brothers....i think the question shud be flipped and brothers shud be asking "covering" sisters wud ya marry us ...coz me thinks a time as cum where brothers need strong willed sisters to put them into shape ..and bring them upto par!..
but jst as a side point..i thiink when one gets married there whole insecurity thing goes for the people wid less taqwaa when there with sum1 now if u get me? like wid sisters they wudnt mind covering and wearing niqaab brother dnt think twice about look slighty strange wid roll ups and stuff...
( i say less taqwaa coz i cudnt put it any other way..as in they really worry about what people think instead of what allah has commanded us to do and what he thinks of us)
perfectpearl
19-07-07, 05:36 AM
If I was a man...yes ...becuase people can change for the better...
Lambo5688
19-07-07, 06:24 AM
If she has good character and isn't the "wild" type. Why not?
Songbird
19-07-07, 06:34 AM
:wswrwb:
Yeah bro, those sisters that wear hijaab, jilbab, niqaab, they truly are the golden standard of the Ummah. MashaAllah, they represent the modesty, chastity and dignity that our Beloved Prophet :saw: taught us. May Allah(swt) reward them.
In an *ideal* world yes.
But sadly wearing the full hijab, jilbab and niqab doesn't always align with what's underneath.
Don't be so foolish to think that a Niqabi is a pillar of piety and the non-hijabed/non-niqabed sister isn't.
I can tell you for a fact, that Niqab sisters do not always act so honorably, and the same applies for some Hijabed sisters I know/am friends with.
What is worse? A sister that doesn't cover her hair but exudes every other quality a Muslimah should, or one that covers her hair, wears legging under her knee-length skirt, whilst puffing away on a cigarette outside a restaurant?
Which sister do you want representing Islam?
In an *ideal* world yes.
But sadly wearing the full hijab, jilbab and niqab doesn't always align with what's underneath.
Don't be so foolish to think that a Niqabi is a pillar of piety and the non-hijabed/non-niqabed sister isn't.
I can tell you for a fact, that Niqab sisters do not always act so honorably, and the same applies for some Hijabed sisters I know/am friends with.
What is worse? A sister that doesn't cover her hair but exudes every other quality a Muslimah should, or one that covers her hair, wears legging under her knee-length skirt, whilst puffing away on a cigarette outside a restaurant?
Which sister do you want representing Islam?
Very well said, i agree whole heartedly.
In an *ideal* world yes.
But sadly wearing the full hijab, jilbab and niqab doesn't always align with what's underneath.
Don't be so foolish to think that a Niqabi is a pillar of piety and the non-hijabed/non-niqabed sister isn't.
I can tell you for a fact, that Niqab sisters do not always act so honorably, and the same applies for some Hijabed sisters I know/am friends with.
What is worse? A sister that doesn't cover her hair but exudes every other quality a Muslimah should, or one that covers her hair, wears legging under her knee-length skirt, whilst puffing away on a cigarette outside a restaurant?
Which sister do you want representing Islam?
Ditto...but it's really upsetting when you see/know sisters like this...May allah guide us all ameen!!!!!!!!
:salams
lol alhamdulillah just niqaab now inshaAllah inshaAllah :hidban: :hidban:
theres no rush ur face isnt exactly the fitnah causing type is it :o
Abu Mus'ab
19-07-07, 12:41 PM
im sure there are some decent bro's without beards but for me its a must
personally i feel beardless guys look gay :outta:
:rotfl:
ImaanSeeker
19-07-07, 12:56 PM
In an *ideal* world yes.
But sadly wearing the full hijab, jilbab and niqab doesn't always align with what's underneath.
Don't be so foolish to think that a Niqabi is a pillar of piety and the non-hijabed/non-niqabed sister isn't.
I can tell you for a fact, that Niqab sisters do not always act so honorably, and the same applies for some Hijabed sisters I know/am friends with.
What is worse? A sister that doesn't cover her hair but exudes every other quality a Muslimah should, or one that covers her hair, wears legging under her knee-length skirt, whilst puffing away on a cigarette outside a restaurant?
Which sister do you want representing Islam?
I referred to those who do it for the sake of Allah(swt).
Why get married to a girl who looks less religious than you? Should we not be giving priority to the sisters who are making an effort for the sake of allah?
:salams
But then again dnt u think its good to HELP those who need that little bit extra help n stuff 2 mke that effort..like if u hve this one religious sister who could marry this less practisng brother and inshallah put him into shape...then isnt that better? or visa verca if u get me..?
Emelianenko
19-07-07, 06:34 PM
Why get married to a girl who looks less religious than you? Should we not be giving priority to the sisters who are making an effort for the sake of allah?
whose making most effort etc is only known to Allah.
:salams
But then again dnt u think its good to HELP those who need that little bit extra help n stuff 2 mke that effort..like if u hve this one religious sister who could marry this less practisng brother and inshallah put him into shape...then isnt that better? or visa verca if u get me..?
Na3m..that is true and needed...like 4 example a brother who was not too much practising..if he were to marry a pious sister it is likely that she could have helped inshaAllah boost his imaan. However if he were to marry a ahem 'modern' girl she'd make him do other things that may adversely cause for him to weaken his imaan......it's really sad when this is the case.
Songbird
20-07-07, 02:18 AM
Why get married to a girl who looks less religious than you?
Less religious than you?
Like it's some kind of competition on who looks more or less religious?
Is that how you judge sisters? "Oh sister A looks far more religious than sister B. I'll pick her!" :rolleyes:
So you -- a mere fallible mortal - judges religosity by a piece of fabric?
I can easily find you a Hijabed sister in Australia and no doubt you will judge her to be more religious than say my best friend in Europe who doesn't veil.
What does that veil tell you? That she veils. You don't know why she veils [some do it simply due to parental pressure], nor do you know how pure her heart is.
And what if I then told you that I have seen Hijabed sisters snogging brothers at an Eid festival, in full view of other Mu'mins? Does that not matter to you? Are they still more religious because they cover their hair than the sister who remains chaste, and doesn't veil?
Seriously brother, learn to look beyond a person's appearance or you could be setting yourself up for some major life-lessons when/if you ever find a girl.
A non-hijabed sister may be deemed 'less religious' to you, but you have no idea of what internal turmoil she may be going through. I know for a fact my best friend wont wear it because she's afraid of the public backlash in her community. Another friend of mine wont wear it because her husband doesn't like it [charming I know], and her Iman has plummeted since she married him.
To you and your myopic view of sisters, both sisters are deemed less religious than me, because I veil. But how do you know I'm a better sister? I could be indulging in zina on a nightly basis, and my Hijab wont tell you that. But no doubt you will judge me 'better' than them.
So before you feel like judging the sisters and pitting them against each other, try and put yourself in their shoes.
Wearing Hijab takes effort and deep-rooted Iman to be wearing it properly. It also needs a supportive husband who will encourage it if you're not wearing it.
And once you do wear it, you KNOW you will face lewd comments and so forth being hurled at you. Put yourself in your fellow sister's shoes and make 70 excuses for her before you start pooh-poohing the 'religious' one, against the so-called irreligious one.
Brothers on the whole have it so much easier living in a non-Muslim society. I have never been abused when I'm with a brother, and every abuse I've copped -- albeit all verbally -- has taken place when I'm walking alone in the street.
Non-veiled sisters know what we go through and knowing that crap we cop, isn't making their Jihad any easier. Brothers like you who judge them so superficially, will only ever be a hinderance to them to start wearing the Hijab.
Songbird
20-07-07, 02:20 AM
whose making most effort etc is only known to Allah.
Exactly.
Ain't like every sister is walking around with an "effort-barometer" over their head.
Abandoned-Mind
20-07-07, 02:20 AM
Less religious than you?
Like it's some kind of competition on who looks more or less religious?
Is that how you judge sisters? "Oh sister A looks far more religious than sister B. I'll pick her!" :rolleyes:
So you -- a mere fallible mortal - judges religosity by a piece of fabric?
I can easily find you a Hijabed sister in Australia and no doubt you will judge her to be more religious than say my best friend in Europe who doesn't veil.
What does that veil tell you? That she veils. You don't know why she veils [some do it simply due to parental pressure], nor do you know how pure her heart is.
And what if I then told you that I have seen Hijabed sisters snogging brothers at an Eid festival, in full view of other Mu'mins? Does that not matter to you? Are they still more religious because they cover their hair than the sister who remains chaste, and doesn't veil?
Seriously brother, learn to look beyond a person's appearance or you could be setting yourself up for some major life-lessons when/if you ever find a girl.
A non-hijabed sister may be deemed 'less religious' to you, but you have no idea of what internal turmoil she may be going through. I know for a fact my best friend wont wear it because she's afraid of the public backlash in her community. Another friend of mine wont wear it because her husband doesn't like it [charming I know], and her Iman has plummeted since she married him.
To you and your myopic view of sisters, both sisters are deemed less religious than me, because I veil. But how do you know I'm a better sister? I could be indulging in zina on a nightly basis, and my Hijab wont tell you that. But no doubt you will judge me 'better' than them.
So before you feel like judging the sisters and pitting them against each other, try and put yourself in their shoes.
Wearing Hijab takes effort and deep-rooted Iman to be wearing it properly. It also needs a supportive husband who will encourage it if you're not wearing it.
And once you do wear it, you KNOW you will face lewd comments and so forth being hurled at you. Put yourself in your fellow sister's shoes and make 70 excuses for her before you start pooh-poohing the 'religious' one, against the so-called irreligious one.
Brothers on the whole have it so much easier living in a non-Muslim society. I have never been abused when I'm with a brother, and every abuse I've copped -- albeit all verbally -- has taken place when I'm walking alone in the street.
Non-veiled sisters know what we go through and knowing that crap we cop, isn't making their Jihad any easier. Brothers like you who judge them so superficially, will only ever be a hinderance to them to start wearing the Hijab.
Maybe by looks brother Rageh means "seems" - through contact etc?
Abandoned-Mind
20-07-07, 02:21 AM
Exactly.
Ain't like every sister is walking around with an "effort-barometer" over their head.
Show me where the ones who are please?
Songbird
20-07-07, 02:30 AM
Allah swt gave us brains and common sense [well most of us] so we don't need any stupid banner over our heads.
If you like a sister, find out what her character is like and if she's not wearing the hijab, then take that as your sign to enjoin the good.
If you're serious about a non-hijabed sister, that may be a test placed before you by your Rabb.
I remember years ago having this Arab brother interested in me but as soon as he knew I didn't veil [and I was adamant back then I wouldn't], he gave up.
And that didn't exactly make me want to wear it either.
Had the brother exuded some patience with me as Allah swt commands us to, persevered with me and waited another year or so, he would have found me praying all my salat and wearing the Hijab with pride all via a tragedy I went through in my life and all via my own volition.
RashidD
20-07-07, 03:23 AM
That's all good and well sis but what about the brother's own trials? Perhaps he wasn't willing to wait so long, the fitnah works both ways so if he did get married to someone else then that's Qadr. And personally if you were adamant you wouldn't veil, i don't blame him for giving up... See the logic? It's like saying if a brother insisted he's gonna shave/ be a faasiq, would you keep trying for such a long time?
Also, make excuses for brother nami. Some of us are looking for wives to help us in our Deen, as well as vice versa.
RashidD
20-07-07, 03:26 AM
I'm not saying he shouldn't marry her or enjoin the good, just not so amused by some of the unduly harsh comments from some people. It's a brother's choice and one of the things he judges for marriage is Deen.
Songbird
20-07-07, 03:49 AM
Also, make excuses for brother nami. Some of us are looking for wives to help us in our Deen, as well as vice versa.
I know I should make excuses, but I also know a few sisters on this board that don't veil and who may be struggling and reading his comments are hardly going to encourage them in their struggle.
Songbird
20-07-07, 03:50 AM
That's all good and well sis but what about the brother's own trials? Perhaps he wasn't willing to wait so long, the fitnah works both ways so if he did get married to someone else then that's Qadr. And personally if you were adamant you wouldn't veil, i don't blame him for giving up... See the logic?
Nope.
RashidD
20-07-07, 04:02 AM
I know I should make excuses, but I also know a few sisters on this board that don't veil and who may be struggling and reading his comments are hardly going to encourage them in their struggle.
In which case we should offer them all the help they need and encourage our sisters! May ALLAH (Azzawajall) guide them and make it easy for them, ameen. Apologies to the sisters if my comments came across is an unfavourable light. BarakALLAH Feekum.
:salams
But then again dnt u think its good to HELP those who need that little bit extra help n stuff 2 mke that effort..like if u hve this one religious sister who could marry this less practisng brother and inshallah put him into shape...then isnt that better? or visa verca if u get me..?
true, but i still wouldn't because there are many sisters who make an effort who can't get married because brothers are chasing sisters who are not really interested in islam...
Less religious than you?
Like it's some kind of competition on who looks more or less religious?
Is that how you judge sisters? "Oh sister A looks far more religious than sister B. I'll pick her!" :rolleyes:
no, but that is what this thread is about.
insomniac
20-07-07, 09:47 AM
Why get married to a girl who looks less religious than you? Should we not be giving priority to the sisters who are making an effort for the sake of allah?
key word looks religious....Allaahu alim of the inwardly religious
key word looks religious....Allaahu alim of the inwardly religious
i'm assuming that means a brother without a beard, a sister without a hijaab. i wouldn't marry a sister without a hijaab.
that's just 1 example and it is not the only thing i would look at, but it is 1 of the things that i would definitely look at.
insomniac
20-07-07, 09:57 AM
i'm assuming that means a brother without a beard, a sister without a hijaab. i wouldn't marry a sister without a hijaab.
that's just 1 example and it is not the only thing i would look at, but it is 1 of the things that i would definitely look at.
and that's your choice alhamdulillah :up:
marriage for everyone is based on different things...and it is difficult to know people's intentions hence dua'a is to be made insha'Allaah when seeking a sincere partner
as intentions take some time to pick up on
and that's your choice alhamdulillah :up:
yep, definitely my choice. why would anyone want to get married to someone who likes to show herself to all men by not covering up? :p
again, this is only 1 of the many things i would look at.
asalaamualaikum
just wondering any bearded bros out there.....
would you marry a girl appearingly less religious than you?
e.g. didn't wear an abaya or jilbaab or niqaab....or would this be a necessity? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well just wondering.....if it depends on other stuff...share your views
walaykumasalaam
Wearing the niqaab, abayah or the jilbab doesn't make you more religious. :)
PiElle2
20-07-07, 10:30 AM
judge the sisters and you will be judged. :p
Wearing the niqaab, abayah or the jilbab doesn't make you more religious. :)
:salams
but thats why i said ap