Hamzah bha
17-02-06, 09:24 PM
> The Wedding of Fatima (r)
>By Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat, with notes (in brackets) from the webmaster
> Fatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) was the youngest daughter of our beloved
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the
>most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is
>Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her,
>grieves me.'
> When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals
>for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
> Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me
>that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could
>this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the
>Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry
>Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was
>extremely pleased and asked, 'Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in
>Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
> The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of
>course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
> So, Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan
>(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was ordered by
>the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few
>other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr,
>Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu
>Ánhum).
> When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and
>gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu).
>He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah
>in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Áli has accepted.' He
>then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony
>between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after
>the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
> When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's
>(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry
>accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). After the Éesha Salaat, the
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission
>and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it
>and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu
>Ánha) and made Duá for them.
> The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver
>bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one
>cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather
>pitcher.
> In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the
>worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes
>very simple and easy to fulfill.
> SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
>
> o "Engagements" are contrary to the Sunnah. A verbal proposal and
>answer is sufficient.
>
> o To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after
>having reached the age of marriage is incorrect. (Note: But on the other
>hand, some parents pray day and night endlessly for a quick marriage to a
>good-looking, highly educated, well-off person who comes from a grand
>family of great repute...in the case of a groom, a groom with a high-flying
>job, etc. The minute we find such a groom or bride, we jump to grab
>him/her. But how many of us spend sleepless nights praying not for a speedy
>grand marriage but a marriage which is filled with love, happiness,
>blessings and piety?)
>
> o There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for
>the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in
>gathering the people from far off places. (Note: The money could instead be
>spent in charity, to gain the blessings of the poor.)
>
> o It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than
>the bride. (Note: The Prophet's first marriage was to Khadija, who was 15
>years older than him. She was a widower and he was a virgin. They were so
>happy together that he did not remarry until she passed away, even though
>polygamy was widely practised during that time - before the advent of
>Islam)
>
> o If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of
>performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
>
> o It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour
>to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in
>giving less. (Note: The dowry is an obligation upon the groom's family, not
>the bride's family!)
>
> o It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the
>means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings. (Note: On the
>contrary, weddings are arranged on such a grand basis that often parents
>cannot perform obligatory acts like Hajj for the next few years because
>they lack funds, which were spent on the weddings of their children)
>
> o It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one
>does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our
>respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
>(Note: We spend thousands of dollars to impress people. We are sentimental
>- "I want my daughter/son to have the best." However, think about it this
>way...the people you impress will forget the wedding after a few weeks,
>your daughter/son's marital happiness may float on the extravagance of
>her/his wedding for a short while but ultimately, it will depend on just
>one thing: God. What is the use angering and disappointing God when it is
>His blessings, and nothing else - not even the grandest, most impressive
>wedding, that will ensure your children are happy? Ask yourself, are you
>getting your children married so you can show off and enjoy a grand wedding
>or because you want your children to experience happy, guided and blessed
>married lives?)
> o The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an
>act of sin and totally against Shariáh. (Note: Teenagers and young adults,
>if prompted, will admit the level of flirting, 'checking out' and showing
>off that goes on during weddings, where everyone is dressed to put on a
>show, not to watch a wedding take place.)
>
> o There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties
>in Islam. (Note: Another source attests that a simple gathering of women
>and girls to apply mehdi or henna on the bride is allowed)
>
> o Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of
>marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
>(Note: On the contrary, the bride misses her prayer because her make-up
>will be washed away if she performs ablution...guests who are also dressed
>up delay their prayers for similar reasons. The couple and guests should
>perform ablution before going to the wedding and should perform their
>prayers there. The organisers of the wedding should also make arrangments
>for guests to perform their prayers. How can we expect our marriages to be
>successful and blessed if we abandon the first pillar of Islam, in pursuit
>of the perfect wedding?)
>
> o It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage. (Note: If she
>adorns herself and dresses up, it should be for her own satisfaction, her
>family's happiness and for her husband - not for hundreds of male wedding
>guests that will come to have a look at her. The bride should not be
>treated like a trophy - all dolled up, sitting quietly on a stage for all
>to see, pretending to be reserved and shy (as is the custom and culture) -
>this is demeaning for she is a thinking individual - not something to
>decorate and show off.)
>
> o The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in
>holding a feast has no basis in Shariáh. (Note: The Islamic tradition is
>for the bride's family to hold a simple nikah ceremony where the marriage
>contract is signed. The big feast should only take place as the walima,
>which is the obligation of the groom's family. Sadly, often low-income
>parents of young girls delay getting their daughters married because they
>feel pressed by society to throw a big feast.)
>
> o For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the
>boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of
>the Qurãnic law of Hijaab. (Note: It is rather funny - in most cultures, a
>man and woman get engaged and they spend time together like they are
>already married. But as soon as the nikah takes place, they are told to
>stay separate and maintain 'modesty'. In many cultures, the nikah takes
>place in the morning and the wedding reception at night or several weeks or
>even months, later. Strangely, the same couple who was engaged and mixing
>freely, is not allowed to mix freely between the nikah and the wedding
>reception thrown by the bride's family. It is as ridiculous as the Western
>concept of mixing freely before and after the engagement but as soon as the
>bride puts on her wedding dress, it's bad luck for the groom to see her! In
>Islam, the engagement is not a licence to mix freely - the nikah is. It is
>as good as getting married and the
> couple can do everything together and have the wedding reception and the
>walima later.)
>
> o It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and
>also go out together. (Note: In this day and age, every other person around
>us could be a weirdo. We rarely become engaged to the children of families
>that we know very well so it is difficult to find out what kind of a person
>we are getting married to. Certain scholars attests that meeting, in the
>presence of Mahram men, and getting to know each other, within the rules
>set by the Quran is allowed.)
>
> o Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter
>gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
> § Presents should be given within one's means (it is not
>permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
> § To give necessary items;
> § A show should not be made of whatever is given.
>
> o It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah. In
>Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care
>should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are
>incurred in the process.
>
> o To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
>
>In aping Western and Hindu methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many
>customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
> Some examples are:
>
> • Displaying the bride on stage;
>
> • Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
>
> • Receiving guests in the hall; (Note: The Mosque is the center
>of life for true Muslims and weddings should be held there. According to
>the Tradition of the Prophet(S.A.W.) marriages performed in the House of
>Allah, immediately preceded and followed by prayers, will attract the
>maximum of Allah's Blessings. Obviously, people know very well that the
>mosque is no place for the unIslamic cultural practices they promote at
>their weddings and so make alternative arrangements.)
>
> • The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a
>feast which has no basis in Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the
>feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
>
> It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in
>India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom,
>from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not give Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) anything
>except Duá. (Note: Unfortunately, the fathers of millions of daughters
>across the world, especially South Asia, incur debts and become poor and
>miserable because 'culture' pressurises them to give dowry to their future
>son-in-laws. Some girls are forced to remain single for years because they
>cannot afford the dowry - some commit suicide, as do their deperate
>fathers. In parts of South Asia, dowry-murders, among Hindu families, are
>commonplace whereby - a new bride is tortured or murdered by her in laws
>because her family did not give a large enough dowry. This is completely
>UnIslamic - the dowry or Mahr is to come from the groom to the bride, not
>the other way around.)
>By Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat, with notes (in brackets) from the webmaster
> Fatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) was the youngest daughter of our beloved
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the
>most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is
>Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her,
>grieves me.'
> When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals
>for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
> Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me
>that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could
>this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the
>Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry
>Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was
>extremely pleased and asked, 'Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in
>Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
> The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of
>course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
> So, Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan
>(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was ordered by
>the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few
>other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr,
>Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu
>Ánhum).
> When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and
>gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu).
>He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah
>in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Áli has accepted.' He
>then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony
>between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after
>the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
> When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's
>(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry
>accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). After the Éesha Salaat, the
>Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission
>and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it
>and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu
>Ánha) and made Duá for them.
> The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver
>bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one
>cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather
>pitcher.
> In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the
>worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes
>very simple and easy to fulfill.
> SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
>
> o "Engagements" are contrary to the Sunnah. A verbal proposal and
>answer is sufficient.
>
> o To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after
>having reached the age of marriage is incorrect. (Note: But on the other
>hand, some parents pray day and night endlessly for a quick marriage to a
>good-looking, highly educated, well-off person who comes from a grand
>family of great repute...in the case of a groom, a groom with a high-flying
>job, etc. The minute we find such a groom or bride, we jump to grab
>him/her. But how many of us spend sleepless nights praying not for a speedy
>grand marriage but a marriage which is filled with love, happiness,
>blessings and piety?)
>
> o There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for
>the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in
>gathering the people from far off places. (Note: The money could instead be
>spent in charity, to gain the blessings of the poor.)
>
> o It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than
>the bride. (Note: The Prophet's first marriage was to Khadija, who was 15
>years older than him. She was a widower and he was a virgin. They were so
>happy together that he did not remarry until she passed away, even though
>polygamy was widely practised during that time - before the advent of
>Islam)
>
> o If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of
>performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
>
> o It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour
>to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in
>giving less. (Note: The dowry is an obligation upon the groom's family, not
>the bride's family!)
>
> o It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the
>means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings. (Note: On the
>contrary, weddings are arranged on such a grand basis that often parents
>cannot perform obligatory acts like Hajj for the next few years because
>they lack funds, which were spent on the weddings of their children)
>
> o It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one
>does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our
>respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
>(Note: We spend thousands of dollars to impress people. We are sentimental
>- "I want my daughter/son to have the best." However, think about it this
>way...the people you impress will forget the wedding after a few weeks,
>your daughter/son's marital happiness may float on the extravagance of
>her/his wedding for a short while but ultimately, it will depend on just
>one thing: God. What is the use angering and disappointing God when it is
>His blessings, and nothing else - not even the grandest, most impressive
>wedding, that will ensure your children are happy? Ask yourself, are you
>getting your children married so you can show off and enjoy a grand wedding
>or because you want your children to experience happy, guided and blessed
>married lives?)
> o The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an
>act of sin and totally against Shariáh. (Note: Teenagers and young adults,
>if prompted, will admit the level of flirting, 'checking out' and showing
>off that goes on during weddings, where everyone is dressed to put on a
>show, not to watch a wedding take place.)
>
> o There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties
>in Islam. (Note: Another source attests that a simple gathering of women
>and girls to apply mehdi or henna on the bride is allowed)
>
> o Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of
>marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
>(Note: On the contrary, the bride misses her prayer because her make-up
>will be washed away if she performs ablution...guests who are also dressed
>up delay their prayers for similar reasons. The couple and guests should
>perform ablution before going to the wedding and should perform their
>prayers there. The organisers of the wedding should also make arrangments
>for guests to perform their prayers. How can we expect our marriages to be
>successful and blessed if we abandon the first pillar of Islam, in pursuit
>of the perfect wedding?)
>
> o It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage. (Note: If she
>adorns herself and dresses up, it should be for her own satisfaction, her
>family's happiness and for her husband - not for hundreds of male wedding
>guests that will come to have a look at her. The bride should not be
>treated like a trophy - all dolled up, sitting quietly on a stage for all
>to see, pretending to be reserved and shy (as is the custom and culture) -
>this is demeaning for she is a thinking individual - not something to
>decorate and show off.)
>
> o The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in
>holding a feast has no basis in Shariáh. (Note: The Islamic tradition is
>for the bride's family to hold a simple nikah ceremony where the marriage
>contract is signed. The big feast should only take place as the walima,
>which is the obligation of the groom's family. Sadly, often low-income
>parents of young girls delay getting their daughters married because they
>feel pressed by society to throw a big feast.)
>
> o For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the
>boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of
>the Qurãnic law of Hijaab. (Note: It is rather funny - in most cultures, a
>man and woman get engaged and they spend time together like they are
>already married. But as soon as the nikah takes place, they are told to
>stay separate and maintain 'modesty'. In many cultures, the nikah takes
>place in the morning and the wedding reception at night or several weeks or
>even months, later. Strangely, the same couple who was engaged and mixing
>freely, is not allowed to mix freely between the nikah and the wedding
>reception thrown by the bride's family. It is as ridiculous as the Western
>concept of mixing freely before and after the engagement but as soon as the
>bride puts on her wedding dress, it's bad luck for the groom to see her! In
>Islam, the engagement is not a licence to mix freely - the nikah is. It is
>as good as getting married and the
> couple can do everything together and have the wedding reception and the
>walima later.)
>
> o It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and
>also go out together. (Note: In this day and age, every other person around
>us could be a weirdo. We rarely become engaged to the children of families
>that we know very well so it is difficult to find out what kind of a person
>we are getting married to. Certain scholars attests that meeting, in the
>presence of Mahram men, and getting to know each other, within the rules
>set by the Quran is allowed.)
>
> o Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter
>gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
> § Presents should be given within one's means (it is not
>permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
> § To give necessary items;
> § A show should not be made of whatever is given.
>
> o It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah. In
>Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care
>should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are
>incurred in the process.
>
> o To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
>
>In aping Western and Hindu methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many
>customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
> Some examples are:
>
> • Displaying the bride on stage;
>
> • Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
>
> • Receiving guests in the hall; (Note: The Mosque is the center
>of life for true Muslims and weddings should be held there. According to
>the Tradition of the Prophet(S.A.W.) marriages performed in the House of
>Allah, immediately preceded and followed by prayers, will attract the
>maximum of Allah's Blessings. Obviously, people know very well that the
>mosque is no place for the unIslamic cultural practices they promote at
>their weddings and so make alternative arrangements.)
>
> • The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a
>feast which has no basis in Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the
>feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
>
> It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in
>India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom,
>from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi
>(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not give Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) anything
>except Duá. (Note: Unfortunately, the fathers of millions of daughters
>across the world, especially South Asia, incur debts and become poor and
>miserable because 'culture' pressurises them to give dowry to their future
>son-in-laws. Some girls are forced to remain single for years because they
>cannot afford the dowry - some commit suicide, as do their deperate
>fathers. In parts of South Asia, dowry-murders, among Hindu families, are
>commonplace whereby - a new bride is tortured or murdered by her in laws
>because her family did not give a large enough dowry. This is completely
>UnIslamic - the dowry or Mahr is to come from the groom to the bride, not
>the other way around.)