View Full Version : Y Do Divorced Brothers Only Want To Marry Single Sisters
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:28 PM
[b]salaamz Everyone,i Been Wandering Why It Is That Divorced Brothers Are So Funny About Marring Div Sisters They Onli Wanna Marry Single Sisters Thats Very Sad for the divorced sisters,or They Wanna Go Back To Pakiland And Find A Girl,wots Gonna Happen To The Gud Sisters Who R Div Thru No Fault Of Their Own What About Their Future ,as Muslims We Shud Be More Accepting And Divorced Brothers Shud Consider Divorced Sisters,i Would Like To Hear Ure Views About This especially From Brothers
The above doesn't apply to everyone, obviously.
Recently I came across a case where a brother married a woman who was a divorcee, and also older than him. She was not from Pak, nor was he.
Also wanted to add, the brother had never been married.
Black_Rose
16-02-06, 04:32 PM
:wswrwb:
I've been wondering why some users on this forum capitalize every word :scratch:
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:33 PM
The above doesn't apply to everyone, obviously.
Recently I came across a case where a brother married a woman who was a divorcee, and also older than him. She was not from Pak, nor was he.
sis thats wonderful mashallah but very very rare
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:33 PM
:wswrwb:
I've been wondering why some users on this forum capitalize every word :scratch:
oh and did she have kids?
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:34 PM
:wswrwb:
I've been wondering why some users on this forum capitalize every word :scratch:
lol i dunno jus happened
Some of the singleton brothers and I have to say this unfortunatley, but they have got their panties twisted in a knot.
Depends on the person and how accepting they are, some men have no problem with it while others are as thick as brick work. Some dont want a woman with children already which is just bad really in my opinion, and I dunno sis, akhhhh
Some men these days :rolleyes: Not being helpful here am i!? :p
On a personal note, my grandmother got married twice, the first hubby she had 3 children from him but he treated her in a sort of bad way so she filed for divorce, she then got married to my dads father and she had a further 8 children from him, he went on to love her, cherish her but unfortunatley died during the war back home.
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:38 PM
Some of the singleton brothers and I have to say this unfortunatley, but they have got their panties twisted in a knot.
Depends on the person and how accepting they are, some men have no problem with it while others are as thick as brick work. Some dont want a woman with children already which is just bad really in my opinion, and I dunno sis, akhhhh
Some men these days :rolleyes: Not being helpful here am i!? :p
On a personal note, my grandmother got married twice, the first hubby she had 3 children from him but he treated her in a sort of bad way so she filed for divorce, she then got married to my dads father and she had a further 8 children from him, he went on to love her, cherish her but unfortunatley died during the war back home.
salaam sis thats a wonderful story bout ure grandma mashallah maybe there is hope loli wanna hear from the bros?
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 04:44 PM
The prophet (saw)'s first marriage was to a widow.. even though she was not a divorcee, the point is she had been married before..
The majority of women that the prophet (saw) married had been married before..
A certain divorcee Zainab (ra) comes to mind here who married the prophet (saw). This was a marriage inspired by Allah (swt)..
The point is our beloved messenger (saw) placed no distinction in his choice of maritial partners. In fact to marry a divorcee is to follow his example..
It just depends on the brother and his priorities..
hopeful
16-02-06, 04:48 PM
The prophet (saw)'s first marriage was to a widow.. even though she was not a divorcee, the point is she had been married before..
The majority of women that the prophet (saw) married had been married before..
A certain divorcee Zainab (ra) comes to mind here who married the prophet (saw). This was a marriage inspired by Allah (swt)..
The point is our beloved messenger (saw) placed no distinction in his choice of maritial partners. In fact to marry a divorcee is to follow his example..
It just depends on the brother and his priorities..
i guess so...:(
.: Anna :.
16-02-06, 04:52 PM
I think the reason why is like a social stigma thing for some people, eg some parents would be too outraged like "no way, ur not marrying a divorced woman!"
Others are worried thinking "this woman has been divorced before, maybe she was blameworthy for that, and maybe she has bad qualities" etc.
It's sad bc as Yusra said, Rasoolallah :saw: did not say "I am too good to marry divorcees" so no-one of us should think we are too good to do that.
It's not necessarily someone's fault if they got divorced, and I'm sure they did not WANT to go thru a bad marriage and a divorce, but thats qadr, and sometimes life is like that... circumstances can produce these kinda results unfortunately
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 04:52 PM
anyways any sister is this situation should not dispair..
she does not deserve a brother who looks down on her or refuses to accept her simply because she is divorced..
It takes duah and tawakkal in Allah (swt).. decent brothers do exist.. it just takes patience ..
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 04:55 PM
i think divorced brothers only want to marry SINGLE sisters cus....
its haram to marry married sisters :scratch:
MalikOne™
16-02-06, 04:58 PM
i think divorced brothers only want to marry SINGLE sisters cus....
its haram to marry married sisters :scratch:
:rotfl: exactly
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 05:03 PM
interesting..
the sisters skipped the discrepency found in the title as we can see what the sister is trying to say..
whereas the brothers who too know what was meant.. decide to turn it into a joke rather then actually answer the question..
some brothers are intimidated by women who have been married already..
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:05 PM
:rotfl: exactly
obviuosly u think its funnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy NOT and ure fwend too al hiraab
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:07 PM
interesting..
the sisters skipped the discrepency found in the title as we can see what the sister is trying to say..
whereas the brothers who too know what was meant.. decide to turn it into a joke rather then actually answer the question..
some brothers are intimidated by women who have been married already..
i agree prob lil kids
interesting..
the sisters skipped the discrepency found in the title as we can see what the sister is trying to say..
whereas the brothers who too know what was meant.. decide to turn it into a joke rather then actually answer the question..
some brothers are intimidated by women who have been married already..
That is very true.....for many reasons...the women is mature, experienced, she knows what she wants from a marriage, she knows her Islamic rights-her previous husband may have not given her her rights.....etc etc.. there are probably other reasons too :rolleyes:
So I think brothers may go for a sister who hasnt been divorced because HE THINKS she will be more naive and might not speak her mind as much..'HE THINKS' is the key phrase here :rolleyes:.....
I would think that the brother would want to marry someone who has experienced the same thing as him ???? They can relate to one another, and inshAllah give each other strength....
But how many un-divorced sisters marry divorced brothers ??? Is it quite common ???
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 05:14 PM
the prophet (saw) said marry virgin women :rolleyes: the advice was mutlaqun regardless of whether one had been married before or not... that is why men prefer to marry unmarried wives... also the ulema have stated the divorcee women are much more stubborn etc one of the reasons why they dont need permission to remarry from their mehram...
personally its a matter of choice... some brothers prefer virgins others dont mind... but its not good to look down on divorced sisters like the pakis and indians do...
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:17 PM
That is very true.....for many reasons...the women is mature, experienced, she knows what she wants from a marriage, she knows her Islamic rights-her previous husband may have not given her her rights.....etc etc.. there are probably other reasons too :rolleyes:
So I think brothers may go for a sister who hasnt been divorced because HE THINKS she will be more naive and might not speak her mind as much..'HE THINKS' is the key phrase here :rolleyes:.....
I would think that the brother would want to marry someone who has experienced the same thing as him ???? They can relate to one another, and inshAllah give each other strength....
But how many un-divorced sisters marry divorced brothers ??? Is it quite common ???
my thread was writen as sum1 spking from experience ,i have found that the onli SINGLE BROTHERS are interested becoz they are passport visa seekers FLIPPIN HECK how sad as for the divorced brothers i agree with the above nawar s statement.nevertheless i will not be dissallusioned i know it will be hard but i have my faith in ALLAH swt
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 05:18 PM
my thread was writen as sum1 spking from experience ,i have found that the onli SINGLE BROTHERS are interested becoz they are passport visa seekers FLIPPIN HECK how sad as for the divorced brothers i agree with the above nawar s statement.nevertheless i will not be dissallusioned i know it will be hard but i have my faith in ALLAH swt
marry an arab theyre not fussed... really for them divorce is like common day thing....
Le Croyant
16-02-06, 05:20 PM
The prophet (saw)'s first marriage was to a widow.. even though she was not a divorcee, the point is she had been married before..
The majority of women that the prophet (saw) married had been married before..
A certain divorcee Zainab (ra) comes to mind here who married the prophet (saw). This was a marriage inspired by Allah (swt)..
The point is our beloved messenger (saw) placed no distinction in his choice of maritial partners. In fact to marry a divorcee is to follow his example..
I think the reason why is like a social stigma thing for some people, eg some parents would be too outraged like "no way, ur not marrying a divorced woman!"
Others are worried thinking "this woman has been divorced before, maybe she was blameworthy for that, and maybe she has bad qualities" etc.
It's sad bc as Yusra said, Rasoolallah :saw: did not say "I am too good to marry divorcees" so no-one of us should think we are too good to do that.
It's not necessarily someone's fault if they got divorced, and I'm sure they did not WANT to go thru a bad marriage and a divorce, but thats qadr, and sometimes life is like that... circumstances can produce these kinda results unfortunately
True...
But at the same time we see that women don't want thier husbands to have more than one wife even though the Prophet Mohammed :saw: practised polygyny & so did the sahaba.
How many sisters who have never been married before are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters who have never been widowed or divorced are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters r willing to let thier husband have a second wife (third & fourth r too far of an option)?
I think many brothers I know are open minded abt marrying a divorcee or widow but thier families are not willing to let that happen, esp thier mom & sisters. And this seems to b the trend.
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:20 PM
marry an arab theyre not fussed... really for them divorce is like common day thing....
are u 4 real???
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:22 PM
True...
But at the same time we see that women don't want thier husbands to have more than one wife even though the Prophet Mohammed :saw: practised polygyny & so did the sahaba.
How many sisters who have never been married before are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters who have never been widowed or divorced are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters r willing to let thier husband have a second wife (third & fourth r too far of an option)?
I think many brothers I know are open minded abt marrying a divorcee or widow but thier families are not willing to let that happen, esp thier mom & sisters. And this seems to b the trend.
to be honest its an option i have thought about ...
hopeful
16-02-06, 05:23 PM
True...
But at the same time we see that women don't want thier husbands to have more than one wife even though the Prophet Mohammed :saw: practised polygyny & so did the sahaba.
How many sisters who have never been married before are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters who have never been widowed or divorced are willing to get married to a brother who's already married.
How many sisters r willing to let thier husband have a second wife (third & fourth r too far of an option)?
I think many brothers I know are open minded abt marrying a divorcee or widow but thier families are not willing to let that happen, esp thier mom & sisters. And this seems to b the trend.being a co - wife
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 05:28 PM
are u 4 real???
sis im being real im not joking.... 99 percent of arabs dont care about it.... its more of a cultural thing with pakis that u can marry divorcees... most of my arab friends would be cool with it....
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 05:39 PM
the prophet (saw) said marry virgin women :rolleyes: the advice was mutlaqun regardless of whether one had been married before or not... that is why men prefer to marry unmarried wives... also the ulema have stated the divorcee women are much more stubborn etc one of the reasons why they dont need permission to remarry from their mehram...
personally its a matter of choice... some brothers prefer virgins others dont mind... but its not good to look down on divorced sisters like the pakis and indians do...
ok so now the issue is not about whether a woman is divorced or not.. it is about her sexual disposition?? ok well.. in that case if a woman is divorced and still a virgin.. then there can really be no excuse in not marrying her??
What society needs to address is this stigma, and we need to remove and change it, not simply go and look to arab men to sort out the problem........
this is a problem in our society...what are these sisters supposed to do??? dont they need husbands??? what if they have children????......yet brothers still choose to marry a virgin...yes the Prophet (saw) encouraged it, he would have also seen to the fact that divorced women should not be left unmarried...
what about the qualities a divorced sister can bring ??? she may not be a virgin, whats the big deal...she has experience, understanding and maturity........
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 05:46 PM
you see before back in the days... when marriage was as marriage should be... marrying a divorcee was not much of an issue... you marry a divorcee you can always marry another whose a virgin... or you marry a virgin and you take for your second wife a divorcee... nowadays with the difficulty that most men only marry once they prefer their wives to be virgins... im not saying one is right or wrong but thats the truth...
for a divorced bro hes thinking ok divorcee virgin ... and primarily any person marries forthemselves not to go benefit other people... so he will take the virgin... i mean mashallah it would be nice to think he would marry the divorcee but that just aint the case is it...
Le Croyant
16-02-06, 05:54 PM
ok so now the issue is not about whether a woman is divorced or not.. it is about her sexual disposition?? ok well.. in that case if a woman is divorced and still a virgin.. then there can really be no excuse in not marrying her??
If a woman got married & the marriage is not consummated and if the couple seprate then the case is called annulment not a divorce.
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 05:57 PM
i reckon one the reasons might be fear. for example a woman say who has been in a marriage..and it went bad.lets say for arguments sake she was not in the wrong..but she will always keep relating her past expereinces to say her new hubby..who aint been married b4..and she will always have tht fear tht this hubby may be the same..and this fear and constant expression of it can take a toll on the marriage..so bros may fear this..however divorced bros shud not overlook divorced sisters either..if anything they can relate to one another maybe...
as shallow as this may sound :embar:
i dont think i could marry a divorced brother unless there was something very special about him
heck, i dont think i cud even marry a brother whos been engaged or even touched by another woman
jealousy :outta:
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 06:34 PM
as shallow as this may sound :embar:
i dont think i could marry a divorced brother unless there was something very special about him
heck, i dont think i cud even marry a brother whos been engaged or even touched by another woman
jealousy :outta:
lool..not many of those around :p
.: Anna :.
16-02-06, 06:50 PM
lool..not many of those around :pof course there are :S I think??
AbdurRaheemG
16-02-06, 07:01 PM
:lailah: Polygamy was always the answer, we just need a few more people to believe in it. Men and women muslims alike...
:lailah: Polygamy was always the answer, we just need a few more people to believe in it. Men and women muslims alike...
its not the answer for everyone, i think about 90% of men couldnt treat them equally :torture:
Talha-1
16-02-06, 07:15 PM
Women are strange, they ask the questions and answer them themselves. I don't think we have any divorced brothers to actually give you a sincere response, and everything in this thread is nothing but speculation, even the question itself is posed with a biased premises.
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:23 PM
Women are strange, they ask the questions and answer them themselves. I don't think we have any divorced brothers to actually give you a sincere response, and everything in this thread is nothing but speculation, even the question itself is posed with a biased premises.
hmm speculation ive told it from my own experience,and from the views from sum of the bros here i think it may well be a fact, sad but true .I used to get really upset about it ,i think the brother that wud take on a div wiv kids wud be a really special unique person.I dont know how and when society will change ,im told dat islam treats women good and fair ,but from what i can see it is a problem with the asians mostly.Infact with the non muslims its not even an issue .....
AbdurRaheemG
16-02-06, 07:24 PM
its not the answer for everyone, i think about 90% of men couldnt treat them equally :torture:
It's Allahs answer, that'll do for me, and good luck to the 90% of men you imagine are so unjust.
:lailah:
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:25 PM
Women are strange, they ask the questions and answer them themselves. I don't think we have any divorced brothers to actually give you a sincere response, and everything in this thread is nothing but speculation, even the question itself is posed with a biased premises.
i also think the divorced brothers here are hiding lol come out come out lol,lets hear ure views....
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:26 PM
It's Allahs answer, that'll do for me, and good luck to the 90% of men you imagine are so unjust.
:lailah:
yep and Allah (swt) also says if u cannot be just then marry one :)
yep and Allah (swt) also says if u cannot be just then marry one :)
here here :up:
AbdurRaheemG
16-02-06, 07:31 PM
hmm speculation ive told it from my own experience,and from the views from sum of the bros here i think it may well be a fact, sad but true .I used to get really upset about it ,i think the brother that wud take on a div wiv kids wud be a really special unique person.I dont know how and when society will change ,im told dat islam treats women good and fair ,but from what i can see it is a problem with the asians mostly.Infact with the non muslims its not even an issue .....
I speak as a divorcee, with no kids who married a divorcee with a son, we now have 4 kids and alhamdulillah we are 10 years down the line and still together.
The 'virgin', quality of woman is a bit overrated and indicates a general naivety too life, in general. You lose your virignity but only once! What a damning thing that must be..lol
I am an european who embraced Islam, so maybe my cultural views are different, but then i embraced Islam not asian or arab culture
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:32 PM
:confused: :lailah:
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:33 PM
I speak as a divorcee, with no kids who married a divorcee with a son, we now have 4 kids and alhamdulillah we are 10 years down the line and still together.
The 'virgin', quality of woman is a bit overrated and indicates a general naivety too life, in general. You lose your virignity but only once! What a damning thing that must be..lol
I am an european who embraced Islam, so maybe my cultural views are different, but then i embraced Islam not asian or arab culture
mashallah bro :D
AbdurRaheemG
16-02-06, 07:34 PM
yep and Allah (swt) also says if u cannot be just then marry one :)
Allah knows best in all matters, all I offered was Allah's prescription to the particular ailment in this thread. It was a sister speaking as a divorcee who finds brothers attitudes towards divorcees rather lacking.
I suggested Allah's solution, never to be scoffed at.:lailah:
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:34 PM
here here :up:
and if u can treat em equally..then u siss r shafted :p heheheh :D :D :D
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:36 PM
quick Q for the siss..say ur hubby did have the means to treat a second wife equally..and he went off n married a second wife..how would u react? and lets say he does prove to treat her equally..
Talha-1
16-02-06, 07:37 PM
I have no qualms with marrying a divorced sister, on condition that the divorce was justified. My personal preference would be to marry a sister who is at least upto five years older than myself. I'm quite mature for my age, and because of that I would like to have a mature wife, not one who is extremely childish and filled with vanity. Saying that, it's not something I pay much attention to.
yep and Allah (swt) also says if u cannot be just then marry oneNo, it's the fear of not being just. Allah (swt) already knows we cannot be just. Also this is more in relation to material things, not emotions and feelings, and love etc.. etc...
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:37 PM
and if u can treat em equally..then u siss r shafted :p heheheh :D :D :D
:confused: wott?????
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:38 PM
quick Q for the siss..say ur hubby did have the means to treat a second wife equally..and he went off n married a second wife..how would u react? and lets say he does prove to treat her equally..
is this q 4 me?
It's Allahs answer, that'll do for me, and good luck to the 90% of men you imagine are so unjust.
:lailah:
Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (4:129)
:up:
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:39 PM
and if u can treat em equally..then u siss r shafted :p heheheh :D :D :D
shafted??
you guys cuss us.. yet you wanna marry more of us.. :scratch:
and at the end of the day how many women are prepared to be second wife.. even among divorcees.. if there are many then alhumdulillah..
I rarely come across sisters who say they would like to be second wife..
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:41 PM
shafted??
you guys cuss us.. yet you wanna marry more of us.. :scratch:
and at the end of the day how many women are prepared to be second wife.. even among divorcees.. if there are many then alhumdulillah..
I rarely come across sisters who say they would like to be second wife..
why u cussins bros den who divorced and want to marry virgin women??
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:41 PM
is this q 4 me?
for all d siss :)
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:41 PM
I have no qualms with marrying a divorced sister, on condition that the divorce was justified. My personal preference would be to marry a sister who is at least upto five years older than myself. I'm quite mature for my age, and because of that I would like to have a mature wife, not one who is extremely childish and filled with vanity. Saying that, it's not something I pay much attention to.
No, it's the fear of not being just. Allah (swt) already knows we cannot be just. Also this is more in relation to material things, not emotions and feelings, and love etc.. etc...
ok.. i see..
so if a man fears that he will not do justice then he should refrain?
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:43 PM
why u cussins bros den who divorced and want to marry virgin women??
.... erm.. ok..:scratch:
quick Q for the siss..say ur hubby did have the means to treat a second wife equally..and he went off n married a second wife..how would u react? and lets say he does prove to treat her equally..
well i would proably be very :(:(:( and :crying::crying::crying:
but i wouldnt stand in his way
and divorce is not an option for me :nono::insha:
Talha-1
16-02-06, 07:44 PM
ok.. i see..
so if a man fears that he will not do justice then he should refrain?
Yes, it's about taqwa. If he fears he cannot be as humanly just as possible with all his wifes than it is better for him to just marry one.
The fear would be the responsibility of the Amaana/trust from Allah (swt), which is the wife.
the way i see it virgin women are more preferable...:) i guess thats my answer.im not cussin..:rolleyes:
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:45 PM
for all d siss :)
i personnely do not have a problem wiv polygamy in either case if i am the first wife and hubby wants second wife or for myself to be a co wife ,I know not all women approve of this
ok.. i see..
so if a man fears that he will not do justice then he should refrain?
some men think they can be just but its not easy at all, sometimes even parents treat their kids differently its just soemthing u cant control at times and do it unknowingly :rubeyes:
well i would proably be very :(:(:( and :crying::crying::crying:
but i wouldnt stand in his way
and divorce is not an option for me :nono::insha:
im sorry but im a jealous girl and i couldnt see my man with another woman..i know polygamy is allowed in islam...but no i cudnt hack it.:( its just too painful.
AbdurRaheemG
16-02-06, 07:46 PM
Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (4:129)
:up:
Therefore, Allah knows it will be difficult for a man to treat his wives justly, this does not negate the order to marry 2, 3 and 4 if not 1, though.
In this same ayat Allah's admonishment or warning is always coupled in Quranic tradition with the al Gafur, ar Raheem. So comes his wonderful mercy upon which we all rely! Humans do wrong , they sin theya re unjust, just know that it is to Allah whom we turn to seek that forgiveness. Not the first or second or third wife...hehe:D
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:48 PM
quick Q for the siss..say ur hubby did have the means to treat a second wife equally..and he went off n married a second wife..how would u react? and lets say he does prove to treat her equally..
thats a hypothetical question so I'l give u an answer of the same nature..
Most of us would feel exactly the same way you would if it was the other way round..
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:49 PM
some men think they can be just but its not easy at all, sometimes even parents treat their kids differently its just soemthing u cant control at times and do it unknowingly :rubeyes:
aye obviosuly there r some men who cant handle it..but some siss always come out with this argument as tho ALL bros cant handle a second wife..obviously its natural to feel jealous..but everything which is permitted in Islam..if done accordingly..is good for man...and tht which has been refrained in Islaam is also for the success and good of man.
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:50 PM
thats a hypothetical question so I'l give u an answer of the same nature..
Most of us would feel exactly the same way you would if it was the other way round..
but if ur hubby went ahead with it? how would u react? how would u respond?
Talha-1
16-02-06, 07:51 PM
Most of us would feel exactly the same way you would if it was the other way round..The bad trait of a man is that he could have relations with many women, yet feel absolutely no love for any of them. From what I’ve heard/read, this is not the case with women. But Allahu alim.
hopeful
16-02-06, 07:52 PM
anyways,ive given up "actively" looking for marriage partener,im gonna concentrate on my career and other stuff i cant be bothered any more:)
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:53 PM
but if ur hubby went ahead with it? how would u react? how would u respond?
how would you respond hypothetically speaking??
If it happened to me it would just increase me in piety inshaAllah..
I'd have less love for my husband and more love for Allah (swt)..
subhanAllah.. isnt that amazing :)
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:53 PM
oh for the record..personally myself if i had the ability to maintain and support two wives equally..i wouldnt marry a second..for the sole reason of the feelings of the first wife. :D
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 07:53 PM
how would you respond hypothetically speaking??
If it happened to me it would just increase me in piety inshaAllah..
I'd have less love for my husband and more love for Allah (swt)..
why less love for ur husband? he hasnt done anything wrong has he?
Le Croyant
16-02-06, 07:54 PM
sis im being real im not joking.... 99 percent of arabs dont care about it.... its more of a cultural thing with pakis that u can marry divorcees... most of my arab friends would be cool with it....
This quite true...
My dad's side is Indian & they quite uptight abt marrying divorcees & widows.
But my mom is an arab, so is my wife and thier families are quite accepting of it. If its a divorced man/woman they prefer to do some research but they won't reject someone based on that criteria.
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 07:57 PM
why less love for ur husband? he hasnt done anything wrong has he?
no .. of course not..
you accept it..
but there is no sin on a woman if she loves her husband less.. its like jealousy.. out of her control..
oh for the record..personally myself if i had the ability to maintain and support two wives equally..i wouldnt marry a second..for the sole reason of the feelings of the first wife. :D
gulps<----im not marrying u now!!!:D :P
gulps<----im not marrying u now!!!:D :P
:rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes:
emel :eek::eek::eek:
ABDELWAHHAB
16-02-06, 08:13 PM
anyways,ive given up "actively" looking for marriage partener,
as-Salaamu wa Alaykom wa-Rahmatullaahi wa-Barakaatuh Ukhtee Hopeful
in'shaa'ALLAH Praying Du3aa to ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best solution and the only solution in order to help you Ukhtee Hopeful get married soon in'shaa'ALLAH.
SubhaanALLAH wa ALHAMDULILLAHI RABBIL 'ALAMEEN wa ALLAHU AKBAR
ALLAHumma salli ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama salayta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, wa baarik ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama baarakta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, fil alameen innaka hameedun majeed.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful get married very soon to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage in this world to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage to a chaste Mumin Man in the Akhirah in the most wonderful delightful beautiful gardens on river Kawther in the highest Jannatul.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in this world.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the highest Jannatul .
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in this world always.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the Highest Jannatul.
Emelianenko
16-02-06, 08:14 PM
:rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes:
emel :eek::eek::eek:
oh oh..erm :embar: vaj gee! :embar:
Can you explain to me what 'arabs' your talking about? Because where I come from, divorce is heavily frownded upon and most divorcees dont have high chances of getting married again or find another partner because of this sick cultural mentality of theirs.
You just made one big generalisation which just goes to show how little you know about Arabs:rolleyes:
marry an arab theyre not fussed... really for them divorce is like common day thing....
oh oh..erm :embar: vaj gee! :embar:
thanx for telling me :torture:
as-Salaamu wa Alaykom wa-Rahmatullaahi wa-Barakaatuh Ukhtee Hopeful
in'shaa'ALLAH Praying Du3aa to ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best solution and the only solution in order to help you Ukhtee Hopeful get married soon in'shaa'ALLAH.
SubhaanALLAH wa ALHAMDULILLAHI RABBIL 'ALAMEEN wa ALLAHU AKBAR
ALLAHumma salli ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama salayta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, wa baarik ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama baarakta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, fil alameen innaka hameedun majeed.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful get married very soon to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage in this world to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage to a chaste Mumin Man in the Akhirah in the most wonderful delightful beautiful gardens on river Kawther in the highest Jannatul.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in this world.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the highest Jannatul .
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in this world always.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the Highest Jannatul.
Ameen to your duas brother.
Again your wrong, you should consider changing your 99% to 9.9% of Arabs, that would be more suiting.
Your Arab freinds, their views and their likes and dislikes dont represent the entire Arab world.
Divorcees are looked down upon as second class citizens only unless if they get lucky with love.
sis im being real im not joking.... 99 percent of arabs dont care about it.... its more of a cultural thing with pakis that u can marry divorcees... most of my arab friends would be cool with it....
anyways,ive given up "actively" looking for marriage partener,im gonna concentrate on my career and other stuff i cant be bothered any more:)
sis, thsi is a test for u from allah swt, have patience (which is a very hard thing to do in any situation) and inshallah wen allah swt thinks the time is right, he will open the doors of happiness to u.AMeen
Dont let wats wbeen said in this thread get u down , everyone is different!
Al-Irhaab
16-02-06, 08:21 PM
Can you explain to me what 'arabs' your talking about? Because where I come from, divorce is heavily frownded upon and most divorcees dont have high chances of getting married again or find another partner because of this sick cultural mentality of theirs.
You just made one big generalisation which just goes to show how little you know about Arabs:rolleyes:
hey im talking abt uk arabs... not yall lebanese arabs ... :rolleyes:
uk arabs are chilled out abt it...
Righhhhhhhhhht!! Im a UK arab and I tell you something my dad would rather spew than marry me to a divorcee male. (Culture and you have to deal with it!)
and I tell ya, they not chilled out about it:rolleyes: Arabs live in another world:rolleyes:
hey im talking abt uk arabs... not yall lebanese arabs ... :rolleyes:
uk arabs are chilled out abt it...
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 08:24 PM
sis, thsi is a test for u from allah swt, have patience (which is a very hard thing to do in any situation) and inshallah wen allah swt thinks the time is right, he will open the doors of happiness to u.AMeen
Dont let wats wbeen said in this thread get u down , everyone is different!
ameen..
also sis remember with every hardship there is relief ... indeed with every hardship there is relief.. (inna ma'al usri yusra)
subhanAllah .. :crying:
ameen..
also sis remember with every hardship there is relief ... indeed with every hardship there is relief.. (inna ma'al usri yusra)
subhanAllah .. :crying:
subhanallah that is true
hey sis why u getting upset :there:
ur_yusra
16-02-06, 08:28 PM
subhanallah that is true
hey sis why u getting upset :there:
the mercy of Allah (swt) is so great..
with every hardship comes relief but the relief is double that of the hardship..
subhanAllah..
hopeful
16-02-06, 08:29 PM
Again your wrong, you should consider changing your 99% to 9.9% of Arabs, that would be more suiting.
Your Arab freinds, their views and their likes and dislikes dont represent the entire Arab world.
Divorcees are looked down upon as second class citizens only unless if they get lucky with love.
[B]so .......now we divorced wimen are second class citizens[/:rubeyes: B]
hopeful
16-02-06, 08:30 PM
ameen..
also sis remember with every hardship there is relief ... indeed with every hardship there is relief.. (inna ma'al usri yusra)
subhanAllah .. :crying:
inshallah:D
the mercy of Allah (swt) is so great..
with every hardship comes relief but the relief is double that of the hardship..
subhanAllah..
subhanallah, sometimes it is overwhelming u r right.
Talha-1
16-02-06, 08:32 PM
You know, to find the right spous is hard, even for those who are not divorced.
hopeful
16-02-06, 08:32 PM
as-Salaamu wa Alaykom wa-Rahmatullaahi wa-Barakaatuh Ukhtee Hopeful
in'shaa'ALLAH Praying Du3aa to ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best solution and the only solution in order to help you Ukhtee Hopeful get married soon in'shaa'ALLAH.
SubhaanALLAH wa ALHAMDULILLAHI RABBIL 'ALAMEEN wa ALLAHU AKBAR
ALLAHumma salli ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama salayta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, wa baarik ‘ala Sayyiddna Muhammed wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Muhammed, kama baarakta ‘ala Sayyiddna Ibraaheem wa ‘ala Aali Sayyiddna Ibraaheem, fil alameen innaka hameedun majeed.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful get married very soon to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage in this world to a chaste Mumin Man.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful have the most delightful wonderful happiest Marriage to a chaste Mumin Man in the Akhirah in the most wonderful delightful beautiful gardens on river Kawther in the highest Jannatul.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in this world.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala make you Ukhtee Hopeful become the most wonderful sweetest kindest moralist chaste Righteous Happiest Happily Married Muminah who will have the most wonderful beautiful moral sweetest kindest Heart in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the highest Jannatul .
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in this world always.
May ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta'ala shower an extremely immense infinite amount of the most extremely wonderful beautiful delightful magnificent sweetest Barakah on to you Ukhtee Hopeful and all of your Family in the Akhirah in the most extremely wonderful magnificent delightful beautiful gardens on the river Kawther in the Highest Jannatul.
ameen:)
hopeful
16-02-06, 08:32 PM
You know, to find the right spous is hard, even for those who are not divorced.
i agree :)
I know it sounds harsh but where I come from, in theory yes they are when it comes to marriage related issues. (Most importantly because shes not a virgin-really depends how open minded the man is about things, not all men are like that but the overwhelming majority are!)
[b]so .......now we divorced wimen are second class citizens[/:rubeyes: B]
Le Croyant
16-02-06, 08:40 PM
Can you explain to me what 'arabs' your talking about? Because where I come from, divorce is heavily frownded upon and most divorcees dont have high chances of getting married again or find another partner because of this sick cultural mentality of theirs.
You just made one big generalisation which just goes to show how little you know about Arabs:rolleyes:
I wastalking abt Saudi & Bahrain. My mom's from Saudi and I grew up there and my wife's a Bahraini. Divorce is frowned upon in these places too but they can get married again, won't to have to sit in some corner of the house like divorcees in the sub-continents r treated.
You know, to find the right spous is hard, even for those who are not divorced.
Aye, tell me about it!
Its about ownership. Although many guys wont admit it, guys can be very jealous, just like women. I think this is one of the reasons why men wont marry a divorced women.
hopeful
17-02-06, 09:32 AM
Its about ownership. Although many guys wont admit it, guys can be very jealous, just like women. I think this is one of the reasons why men wont marry a divorced women.
hmmmmmmmm
salaam
these are the views of people i have met and are not my views
in first place - men of all ages would love to marry a young virgin. older men would travel back home to pakistan etc where they have a better chance of finding one. it is the idea of marrying one that appeals to them
in second place - they might consider a widow. prefer her not to have any children
in third place - they may consider a divorcee also prefer her not to have any children. unfortunately regardless of how her husband was, may he be abusive, drunk or a womaniser, its normally the woman that gets the blame for letting him to do what he did. hence the reason for most not to consider marrying a divorcee. i hear this from other women. what happened to sisters backing each other???
naturally the above applies if the marriage is going through the arranged marriage route.
all above goes out of the window/is ignored if the man meets a divorcee/widow and falls in love with her.
i am a divorced brother looking for a single woman (do not wish to approach a married woman :-) ) would prefer her not to have children
why do i not prefer her not to have children?
well because i have three young angels living with me whose ages range from 4 to 10. if she had children then there might be problems when they fight and if i tell them off. however it wont be any problems if she had one or two children in a different age group
she must be practising
:inlove: if you feel you are suitable for this role then please apply....:inlove:
.:up: :rolleyes:
:hidban:
salaam
these are the views of people i have met and are not my views
in first place - men of all ages would love to marry a young virgin. older men would travel back home to pakistan etc where they have a better chance of finding one. it is the idea of marrying one that appeals to them
in second place - they might consider a widow. prefer her not to have any children
in third place - they may consider a divorcee also prefer her not to have any children. unfortunately regardless of how her husband was, may he be abusive, drunk or a womaniser, its normally the woman that gets the blame for letting him to do what he did. hence the reason for most not to consider marrying a divorcee. i hear this from other women. what happened to sisters backing each other???
naturally the above applies if the marriage is going through the arranged marriage route.
all above goes out of the window/is ignored if the man meets a divorcee/widow and falls in love with her.
i am a divorced brother looking for a single woman (do not wish to approach a married woman :-) ) would prefer her not to have children
why do i not prefer her not to have children?
well because i have three young angels living with me whose ages range from 4 to 10. if she had children then there might be problems when they fight and if i tell them off. however it wont be any problems if she had one or two children in a different age group
she must be practising
:inlove: if you feel you are suitable for this role then please apply....:inlove:
.:up: :rolleyes:
:hidban:
talk about plugging yourself :p
mashallah @ 3 cuties
talk about plugging yourself :p
mashallah @ 3 cuties
do u reckon it will work? :rolleyes:
do u reckon it will work? :rolleyes:
inshallah watevea is meant to happen for u will happn, no matter wat or how u*plug* yourself :)
Refugee
17-02-06, 01:36 PM
Oh man there is a lot of generalising on this thread
hopeful
17-02-06, 01:56 PM
salaam
these are the views of people i have met and are not my views
in first place - men of all ages would love to marry a young virgin. older men would travel back home to pakistan etc where they have a better chance of finding one. it is the idea of marrying one that appeals to them
in second place - they might consider a widow. prefer her not to have any children
in third place - they may consider a divorcee also prefer her not to have any children. unfortunately regardless of how her husband was, may he be abusive, drunk or a womaniser, its normally the woman that gets the blame for letting him to do what he did. hence the reason for most not to consider marrying a divorcee. i hear this from other women. what happened to sisters backing each other???
naturally the above applies if the marriage is going through the arranged marriage route.
all above goes out of the window/is ignored if the man meets a divorcee/widow and falls in love with her.
i am a divorced brother looking for a single woman (do not wish to approach a married woman :-) ) would prefer her not to have children
why do i not prefer her not to have children?
well because i have three young angels living with me whose ages range from 4 to 10. if she had children then there might be problems when they fight and if i tell them off. however it wont be any problems if she had one or two children in a different age group
she must be practising
:inlove: if you feel you are suitable for this role then please apply....:inlove:
.:up: :rolleyes:
:hidban:
salaamz,my marriage was arranged i have kids ,if i knew that my marriage was gonna finish like this on my own withy kids i would have obviously planned things diff.i am grateful to God for the good things in my life ,i have been approached many many times for marriage ,but as soon as i tell them im a div with kids they back off ,ok ,fair enough ,no actually its fair enough for the brothers who have never been married b4 but div ones with kids should not be so choosyTHATS WOT I FIND UNFAIR ,and bro i think ull have to go back home to find ure wifey coz even i could get someone single from there no probs ,they all gonna wanna say "yes please" to come over .no offence just a fact
inshallah watevea is meant to happen for u will happn, no matter wat or how u*plug* yourself :)
i have started looking for a partner last year. suprised to find some women will not accept a man with kids but it is okay the other way round where the man sometimes accept a woman with kids. some act as if they want a meal ticket, they just want a man to provide for her and her children.
i have met some women who cant have children but find my kids are too young.
well their loss my gain.
to be honest i have only put my details on free websites for muslim partners. have not asked the family to ''hunt'' me a bride :D
Al-Irhaab
17-02-06, 02:04 PM
you both should just marry each other and that will sort out both your problems... :rolleyes:
and we could have a wedding party to boot :inlove:
i have started looking for a partner last year. suprised to find some women will not accept a man with kids but it is okay the other way round where the man sometimes accept a woman with kids. some act as if they want a meal ticket, they just want a man to provide for her and her children.
i have met some women who cant have children but find my kids are too young.
well their loss my gain.
to be honest i have only put my details on free websites for muslim partners. have not asked the family to ''hunt'' me a bride :D
bro should put the word out wiht family and friends, that is the best place to start, and that way they can seed out the baddies inshallah :p
ur kids sound soo cute mashaallh, then again im a sucker for kids :p :p especailly wen they have chubby cheeks :D
bro, serious put the word out with friends and family
oh oh..erm :embar: vaj gee! :embar:
lol..chill emel i didnt mean to embarass ya...i was just joking ...u need to absorb some humour..lol...:rolleyes:
anyways what does vaj gee mean?:confused:
you both should just marry each other and that will sort out both your problems... :rolleyes:
and we could have a wedding party to boot :inlove:
hmmmm i wonder then again how would you all take it if we met through internet and got married? i remember a topic discussing about finding a partner via internet and how some were against the idea.
hmmmm i wonder then again how would you all take it if we met through internet and got married? i remember a topic discussing about finding a partner via internet and how some were against the idea.
we have had people in the past, from this forum who have gone onto marry one and another :D
Emelianenko
17-02-06, 07:40 PM
aye and some mod the place n all :p :p
we have had people in the past, from this forum who have gone onto marry one and another :D
eeekkk (gulps) that is scary...dont ask me why...some baddd memories..:rubeyes:
eeekkk (gulps) that is scary...dont ask me why...some baddd memories..:rubeyes:
why? who u married to from the forum :p
why? who u married to from the forum :p
eeeeekkkk no one sis...dont embarrass me...im only 19 sis..it just cannot be done....just a baddd memory.....(bows her head in shame!)
salaamz,my marriage was arranged i have kids ,if i knew that my marriage was gonna finish like this on my own withy kids i would have obviously planned things diff.i am grateful to God for the good things in my life ,i have been approached many many times for marriage ,but as soon as i tell them im a div with kids they back off ,ok ,fair enough ,no actually its fair enough for the brothers who have never been married b4 but div ones with kids should not be so choosyTHATS WOT I FIND UNFAIR ,and bro i think ull have to go back home to find ure wifey coz even i could get someone single from there no probs ,they all gonna wanna say "yes please" to come over .no offence just a fact
just want to clarify things. i love children. they bring such happiness to ones life especially when they are young. i am happy to marry a woman with children as long as she is wise enough to hear both sides of the story when her and my children fight.
Al-Irhaab
17-02-06, 07:46 PM
hmmmm i wonder then again how would you all take it if we met through internet and got married? i remember a topic discussing about finding a partner via internet and how some were against the idea.
who cares what people think :rolleyes:
find out the sis's mehram go and meet the mehram discuss if u like each other get married :inlove:
Emelianenko
17-02-06, 07:49 PM
eeeeekkkk no one sis...dont embarrass me...im only 19 sis..it just cannot be done....just a baddd memory.....(bows her head in shame!)
who did u chek den? :p loool
who cares what people think :rolleyes:
find out the sis's mehram go and meet the mehram discuss if u like each other get married :inlove:
dont think she needs one of she divorced
eeeeekkkk no one sis...dont embarrass me...im only 19 sis..it just cannot be done....just a baddd memory.....(bows her head in shame!)
come on spill the beans. tell us of your experience. trust us you will feel better :up:
hopeful
17-02-06, 07:51 PM
just want to clarify things. i love children. they bring such happiness to ones life especially when they are young. i am happy to marry a woman with children as long as she is wise enough to hear both sides of the story when her and my children fight.
bro salaamz,i think all children fight ,mine do although i have seen worst,but the thing is bro if i married a bro who had kids i wud treat dem ALL same i would respect the bro if he wud discipline the kids whether they be mine or his and if i was to do the same i wud expect the bro to back me up also ,i think when u have had a rough marriage ,these lil things are not such big obstacles ,i truly beleive ...love me love my kids from both parteners point of view
:rolleyes: who did u chek den? :p loool
err ahem..i will never answer that..
sheeeesh,leave me alone!!!...
anyways emel may i just remind u that u have repd to 26 what do u have to do????
eeeeekkkk no one sis...dont embarrass me...im only 19 sis..it just cannot be done....just a baddd memory.....(bows her head in shame!)
k, ill take your word for it. :)
hopeful
17-02-06, 07:54 PM
hmmmm i wonder then again how would you all take it if we met through internet and got married? i remember a topic discussing about finding a partner via internet and how some were against the idea.
i tried the internet its always ....u exchange emails and talk on msn ,i found the bro wud be all nice and islamic and den all of a sudden he wud start talkin all dirty and wanna meet up and stuff :shock:
i tried the internet its always ....u exchange emails and talk on msn ,i found the bro wud be all nice and islamic and den all of a sudden he wud start talkin all dirty and wanna meet up and stuff :shock:
trust me i am not like that :) i repect women
trust me i am not like that :) i repect women
respect holds marriage..
hopeful
17-02-06, 08:46 PM
trust me i am not like that :) i repect women
:).....
oh oh..erm :embar: vaj gee! :embar:
lool....i know what it means :D
AbuMubarak
17-02-06, 11:07 PM
i think divorced brothers only want to marry SINGLE sisters cus....
its haram to marry married sisters :scratch:
i have seen this title for two days now, and thought the same thing
anyway, muslims have way too much cultural baggage, from racism, to tribalism, to nationalism, to all types of other things
all of these, including the sisters point about brothers not wanting to marry divorced women is a symptom of a very well-known problem
muslims have to return to quran and sunnah, in every level
the companions of the prophet would hurry and marry a woman who was divorced, old and not married, widowed, whatever
its not good to have unmarried women, its a fitnah, but it seems many cultures will leave a divorced women as if she is tainted
Emelianenko
17-02-06, 11:09 PM
lool....i know what it means :D
who told ya wha it means eh motiyay? :D :D :p
who told ya wha it means eh motiyay? :D :D :p
ahaahh...thats for me to know n u to find out;)
anyways..what context were u saying it moto?:p
Y Do Divorced Brothers Only Want To Marry Single
Because you can't marry a pair?
Because you can't marry a pair?
sheesh...congratualtions..u got the answer!!:D :D
What do I win? I gots ta win sumfin!
AbuMubarak
18-02-06, 12:28 AM
does anyone actually say, sumfin?
What do I win? I gots ta win sumfin!
tut u thiko:D u won a rep that got u to rep power 15'''''ayyyyyye
does anyone actually say, sumfin?
I think so. I read it in a book during an English Literature class.
does anyone actually say, sumfin?
Yep. The very same people who say "free" instead of "three"
Goldilocks and the free bears! A gall-bladder warming story set in China about young girl with peroxide blonde hair who takes on the Chinese medical authorities whilst eating porridge.
Inspired by a false story it contains elements of untruth.
Arsalan
18-02-06, 01:28 AM
Goldilocks and the free bears! A gall-bladder warming story set in China about young girl with peroxide blonde hair who takes on the Chinese medical authorities whilst eating porridge.
Inspired by a false story it contains elements of untruth.
Might i recommend you somefan like this:
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost.php?p=968703&postcount=40
somefan!
Nay-nee-nee-woh-oh, dig-ee-nay-nay-no-no-no,
Nay-nee-nee-woh-oh, zig-ee-nay-nay-no-no-no,
Nay-nee-nee-woh-oh, zig-ee-nay-nay-no-no-no,
Ooh-yeah-eh, ooh-yeah-eh, ooh-noo-no-no-no-no-no!
somefan somefan
some fan
x 5
add pepper, honey and caustic soda.
hopeful
18-02-06, 08:42 AM
does anyone actually say, sumfin?
i agree:D
Al-Irhaab
18-02-06, 09:50 AM
trust me i am not like that :) i repect women
right so ask the sis for her dads number or brother or if her son is old enough to be mehram :rolleyes:
go and discus marriage and get married... end of story ... oh wait and then we get to come to the waleema aswell :D but not gujjerati food if any of u are gujjerati.... has to be paki food...
hopeful
18-02-06, 09:58 AM
right so ask the sis for her dads number or brother or if her son is old enough to be mehram :rolleyes:
go and discus marriage and get married... end of story ... oh wait and then we get to come to the waleema aswell :D but not gujjerati food if any of u are gujjerati.... has to be paki food...
.......
:rolleyes: erm are you all trying to say i should get in touch with hopeful :rolleyes:
Al-Irhaab
18-02-06, 04:32 PM
:rolleyes: erm are you all trying to say i should get in touch with hopeful :rolleyes:
your middle name aint genius by any chance is it... :rolleyes: you both complaining, you both divorcess, you both got kids... what more do u want...
your middle name aint genius by any chance is it... :rolleyes: you both complaining, you both divorcess, you both got kids... what more do u want...
:rolleyes: erm are you saying i should contact her? :rolleyes:
signed
wazza 'the genius' h****
ur_yusra
18-02-06, 05:57 PM
your middle name aint genius by any chance is it... :rolleyes: you both complaining, you both divorcess, you both got kids... what more do u want...
I didn't know you had matchmaking qualities.. :scratch:
.. guess you learn something new everyday.. :rolleyes:
Pack it in children :rolleyes:
SoulAsylum
18-02-06, 08:08 PM
Seems to have worked :rolleyes:
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Samira.erin
18-02-06, 08:31 PM
marry an arab theyre not fussed... really for them divorce is like common day thing....
Ouch! I'm surprised "an arab" hasn't disputed this yet. I'm about to divorce my arab husband and even tho this might add to the "common day" myth, I worry that I'll be left on the shelf simply because they are fussy.
hopeful
18-02-06, 08:52 PM
Ouch! I'm surprised "an arab" hasn't disputed this yet. I'm about to divorce my arab husband and even tho this might add to the "common day" myth, I worry that I'll be left on the shelf simply because they are fussy.
ws sis ermm i think ull find a sister did spk up for the arabs luk at the earlier posts:smilie:
Samira.erin
18-02-06, 09:56 PM
Righhhhhhhhhht!! Im a UK arab and I tell you something my dad would rather spew than marry me to a divorcee male. (Culture and you have to deal with it!)
and I tell ya, they not chilled out about it:rolleyes: Arabs live in another world:rolleyes:
Thanks. Obviously blinked & missed it!
Totally agree with the above quote.
In fact - why would I want to go looking for the same single-mindedness all over again?:confused:
Calling all you English male reverts! :up:
ur_yusra
18-02-06, 10:46 PM
Thanks. Obviously blinked & missed it!
Totally agree with the above quote.
In fact - why would I want to go looking for the same single-mindedness all over again?:confused:
Calling all you English male reverts! :up:
lol.. u go girl :p
Emelianenko
19-02-06, 12:27 AM
Im a black english revert..will i do :embar:
Abu.Bakr
19-02-06, 05:55 AM
Y Do Divorced Brothers Only Want To Marry Single Sisters
Well I'm not divorced, I'm not even married. But I would like to imagine that the sister I am going to marry is single InshaAllah :(
Or should I read the whole thread to get a better understanding of the topic? hehe
I think that the whole idea of not wanting to marry a woman because she isn't a virgin is absurd. I am looking at the very real possibility of being a widower soon and if I did remarry I wouldn't care. I don't want to marry an 18 year old, I would be looking for someone that was closer to my age and life experience that I would have something in common with. Her past would have made her who she is now and that is the package that I would either want or reject, no other criteria except who she is at the minute that I get to know her.
hopeful
19-02-06, 08:49 AM
I think that the whole idea of not wanting to marry a woman because she isn't a virgin is absurd. I am looking at the very real possibility of being a widower soon and if I did remarry I wouldn't care. I don't want to marry an 18 year old, I would be looking for someone that was closer to my age and life experience that I would have something in common with. Her past would have made her who she is now and that is the package that I would either want or reject, no other criteria except who she is at the minute that I get to know her.
:75: :smilie:
hopeful
19-02-06, 08:55 AM
Well I'm not divorced, I'm not even married. But I would like to imagine that the sister I am going to marry is single InshaAllah :(
Or should I read the whole thread to get a better understanding of the topic? hehe
what i actually meant was .......why are divorced men not considering divorced wimen instead they want never marrioed b4 wimen to marry ...it just dont seem fair coz theres a lot of divorced around....and may i add its usually the hubbys fault anyways.....but look ure single never been married ...u can choose wot u like oh and when i say single i mean never been married b4 i think sum peeps gettin confused:D
what i actually meant was .......why are divorced men not considering divorced wimen instead they want never marrioed b4 wimen to marry ...it just dont seem fair coz theres a lot of divorced around....and may i add its usually the hubbys fault anyways.....but look ure single never been married ...u can choose wot u like oh and when i say single i mean never been married b4 i think sum peeps gettin confused:D
i agree sis, this stigma of automatically blaming the woman for the divorce is disgusting , and its culture that has brought this in not islam, wen are people gonna learn?
one of my friend's hubbie left her after a couple of years (he got his passport:rolleyes: ) , pooor girl was at his feet , begging him not to leave her :( , anyways, as soon as he left her, his family went around to everyone's house (relatives ) and said how my friend is a B****, she sleeps around.........and she beats up her husband..these are the reasons he left her!.......:freedom: :55:
people need to wake up.
hopeful
19-02-06, 09:40 AM
i agree sis, this stigma of automatically blaming the woman for the divorce is disgusting , and its culture that has brought this in not islam, wen are people gonna learn?
one of my friend's hubbie left her after a couple of years (he got his passport:rolleyes: ) , pooor girl was at his feet , begging him not to leave her :( , anyways, as soon as he left her, his family went around to everyone's house (relatives ) and said how my friend is a B****, she sleeps around.........and she beats up her husband..these are the reasons he left her!.......:freedom: :55:
people need to wake up.
sis if i thought that there was sumfing i cud do i wud to change peoples perceptions,
sis if i thought that there was sumfing i cud do i wud to change peoples perceptions,
sis there is nothign u can do, except tell people where they are wrong, after that its upto them wat they wanna do.
which is probably why the problem still continues
sis if i thought that there was sumfing i cud do i wud to change peoples perceptions,
the most important thing is that your family and friends knows the truth about your relationship, that they know you are the innocent party. that all that matters
adults, like kids, always blame others for the problem even if its their own fault. the sad thing is people love dirty laundry. they love to listen, absorb and believe the bad things of life wether its the truth or not. women love to gossip.
the most important thing is that your family and friends knows the truth about your relationship, that they know you are the innocent party. that all that matters
adults, like kids, always blame others for the problem even if its their own fault. the sad thing is people love dirty laundry. they love to listen, absorb and believe the bad things of life wether its the truth or not. women love to gossip.
lol @ women love to gossip, i dont see the men in the families excatly coming to inncent parties defence wen women "gossip" about certain people, they jsu sit back and chuckle and nod in the right places, they are the same as them!
(some men not all, b4 i get it in the neck from the bros on here)
i am dreading to see what replies i would get when i mentioned women love to gossip
lol @ women love to gossip, i dont see the men in the families excatly coming to inncent parties defence wen women "gossip" about certain people, they jsu sit backand chukle and nod in teh right places, they are the same as them!
(some men not all, b4 i get int he neck form the bros on here)
men are wise enough to interrupt women gossiping. they wish to lead a peaceful and a long life :D
men are wise enough to interrupt women gossiping. they wish to lead a peaceful and a long life :D
like i said.................your are guilty as HELL :D
Emelianenko
19-02-06, 11:51 AM
u ever seen when aunties get together :p
"baji did ju see Kalsooms Kameez..eww...
and leads to...
"haa baji kalsoom said tu dafoo huu...haaa nazar lagee vaaa"
:p :p
Samira.erin
19-02-06, 12:36 PM
the most important thing is that your family and friends knows the truth about your relationship, that they know you are the innocent party. that all that matters
adults, like kids, always blame others for the problem even if its their own fault. the sad thing is people love dirty laundry. they love to listen, absorb and believe the bad things of life wether its the truth or not. women love to gossip.
Sadly the problem lies in the fact that it's a man's world. Family and friends might believe u, but that's not enough if all ur friends are female and ur family aren't muslim.
At the end of the day the women believe the women and the men believe men. In a small community it's highly likely that when ur looking to remarry, the person ur interested in might not be interested in u because of the biased gossip he's heard. When sharia'a says you shouldn't mix how do you change the male viewpoint if he can't get to know you first. After all aren't most arranged marriages based on recommendations and reputation.
hopeful
19-02-06, 01:18 PM
[QUOTE=Samira.erin]Sadly the problem lies in the fact that it's a man's world. Family and friends might believe u, but that's not enough if all ur friends are female and ur family aren't muslim.
At the end of the day the women believe the women and the men believe men. In a small community it's highly likely that when ur looking to remarry, the person ur interested in might not be interested in u because of the biased gossip he's heard. When sharia'a says you shouldn't mix how do you change the male viewpoint if he can't get to know you first. After all aren't most arranged marriages based on recommendations and reputation.[/QUOTE salaam samira sis i understand and agree wiv u i think we cant judge a book by its cover but then again like u say we are not alowed to mix ,we cant really get to know each other and i suppose it all comes down to references
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