Quest
09-02-06, 01:19 PM
Most sisters look at this issue from one angel, which is the selfish angle (how it will effect me etc), this is because they analyze this issue with bad logic bad reasoning. this is understandable but we fail to realise that this world is like a transit, we should inshahallah live like travelors or atleast strive to do so, it is when sisters become friends of the dunya that they begin to see things from the western way of life. Islam is not just a doctrine of love, it is also a doctrine which is real in every sense of the word, from theory to practice islam is real, this is why many kafirs cannot understand the practical side to islam, simply because they were fed cute theorys which cannot be implemented in life all their lifes.
we muslims have to keep our eyes on the price. we have to decide things with our minds to at times, they say use ur head dont let it use u, many women think about polygamy using the heart, thus why they get angry and are overwhelmed with emotion, use your mind with good reasoning and wisdom then u will see many things become easier to comprehend.
if u have a husband which is a real man in every sense of the word, and ur sister has an abusive one whom is inadequate, the true test of your faith would be after u answer the following question,(suppose she is now divorced from him, and she for some reason cannot remarry) Will u watch her strugle and be unhappy or would u share yours with her ?
if your answer was the latter, congratualations, u have tasted the true sweetness of iman, if ur answer was no, and the core reason to this NO, was because u couldnt handle the effect it would have on you, then there are still traits of jahiliya withinn u. the most selfish 1 letter word "I" avoid it, the most kindest 2 letter word "We" cherish it.
Yes i am a woman, and yes i agree a husband marrying more then one wife is a huge test for the believing woman, this is a test where even the wife of the prophets proved weak in and at times some failed and repented for.
u may wonder why this is ? the reason is because us woman are tested through jealousy, and when he marrys another woman, shaytan is swift in sowing enmity, but shaytan is only stronger when u prove to be weak in the circumstance. Just like some animals pounce on their prey when they sense fear, shaytan makes his move when he senses weakness.
there are 2 situations (if i was married), and was faced with polygamy, i would feel ok if my husband took another wife, that is if there was truely shortage of good men and i had one of the handful of good men, say this shortage was due to war, knowing my husband returned safely and there are sisters whose husbands died for the sake of allah, the last thing i would want is them to feel burdened, i would want them to look at the loss of their husbands as a victory, it should me a moment to celebrate, not a moment of un subsideing sorrow, or feeling a sense of sacrifice. i would share my husband (if he was ok with it), for u cannot have true faith, not untill u want for your sister what u want for yourself.
the other situation is if i prove to be barren (god forbid) if i cannot have children.
Sisters, i am no hypocrit, i would not request to be tested by allah with this case of polygamy, but i dont kid myself about such a test not being a possibility, simply because i consider myself attractive, or adequate as a wife for him. if allah wishs to test u someway he will even if the whole of mankind and jinn gathered to plot differently there is nothing u can do when allah wills a thing all he says to it is be.
Many people are of the impression that a husband takes a second wife simply because the 1st proved to be inadequate, we need to cleanse our minds of this false notion, it is bcoz of this stigma many sisters fear polygamy...<a stubborn fact which wont go away.
When a man takes another wife, people gossip, some woman focus on the wrong thing, instead of why he did it, they focus on the question "what are people gonna say" thus my theory or should i say fact that most sisters fear polygamy because of the stigma that it leaves behind is substantiated for.
My sincere advice to u all, to all those sisters whom allah tests with this, be patient, leaving him, demanding divorce will not increase ur credibility in the eyes of the people any more then u think it decreased it in the 1st place. care what allah thinks not people, this issue of polygamy, i make duca against it, i would not want to be tested with this, but if some day i was, i know leaving him is not the answer, it is better that u be patient , especialy if he is a good husband. there is a reward in patience, do not ruin ur chances for gaining this reward because u feel in leaving u do urself justice, and u prove something to the public.
Allah said marry women in 2's 3's or 4's if u cant be just between them marry only one.
to the brothers whom read this, if u know u cannot be just, please spare your sisters from unwanton hurt or jealousy by not marrying others for the sake of proving masculinity and what not.
To the sisters, allah did not legislate polygamy inorder to bring shame upon u, the western woman mock us for this (despite many of the brothers not marrying more then one) simply because they feel superior, they think their doctrine of love is better then our perfect way of life, they are in competition with us, and thus use polygamy as a way to mock us as a tool to attack us, and it saddens me when i see muslim woman down talking a law of allahs just so they can relate or be in harmony with what those kafira's dictate and say is the norm. even if u agree, keep it to yourself, disscuss this with your own if u must.
I hate when we let these kafira's win, 1st we let them set the example of dress for us, then we let them decide what laws should be moral or not. I say They win because u have sisters whom down talk polygamy, whom threat divorce and say stuff akin to 'i would __ ___ ___ if he married someone else", dont u see u are falling into their trap ? this exactly what they want you to do, 1st step of removing islam according to their plan, is to make the muslims hate their diin bit by bit, its called divide and conquer, u have to know your enemy know their mind, then believe me game recognises game.
let them mock and kid themselves about life, just know that by adhereing to islam, u are a true realist, know that allah put the muslim woman in the front line, and polygamy is not to hurt u or cause u problems, it is a wisdom from allah, many may not understand this hikmah muslims included, but none the less it doesnt mean the wisdom is non existent, blessed be allah whom doesnt do anything unless it serves a purpose.
One more time this life is like a transit, if ur gonna be attached to anything be attached to that which will follow u into the next life, be attached to your deeds.
fi amaanilaah
we muslims have to keep our eyes on the price. we have to decide things with our minds to at times, they say use ur head dont let it use u, many women think about polygamy using the heart, thus why they get angry and are overwhelmed with emotion, use your mind with good reasoning and wisdom then u will see many things become easier to comprehend.
if u have a husband which is a real man in every sense of the word, and ur sister has an abusive one whom is inadequate, the true test of your faith would be after u answer the following question,(suppose she is now divorced from him, and she for some reason cannot remarry) Will u watch her strugle and be unhappy or would u share yours with her ?
if your answer was the latter, congratualations, u have tasted the true sweetness of iman, if ur answer was no, and the core reason to this NO, was because u couldnt handle the effect it would have on you, then there are still traits of jahiliya withinn u. the most selfish 1 letter word "I" avoid it, the most kindest 2 letter word "We" cherish it.
Yes i am a woman, and yes i agree a husband marrying more then one wife is a huge test for the believing woman, this is a test where even the wife of the prophets proved weak in and at times some failed and repented for.
u may wonder why this is ? the reason is because us woman are tested through jealousy, and when he marrys another woman, shaytan is swift in sowing enmity, but shaytan is only stronger when u prove to be weak in the circumstance. Just like some animals pounce on their prey when they sense fear, shaytan makes his move when he senses weakness.
there are 2 situations (if i was married), and was faced with polygamy, i would feel ok if my husband took another wife, that is if there was truely shortage of good men and i had one of the handful of good men, say this shortage was due to war, knowing my husband returned safely and there are sisters whose husbands died for the sake of allah, the last thing i would want is them to feel burdened, i would want them to look at the loss of their husbands as a victory, it should me a moment to celebrate, not a moment of un subsideing sorrow, or feeling a sense of sacrifice. i would share my husband (if he was ok with it), for u cannot have true faith, not untill u want for your sister what u want for yourself.
the other situation is if i prove to be barren (god forbid) if i cannot have children.
Sisters, i am no hypocrit, i would not request to be tested by allah with this case of polygamy, but i dont kid myself about such a test not being a possibility, simply because i consider myself attractive, or adequate as a wife for him. if allah wishs to test u someway he will even if the whole of mankind and jinn gathered to plot differently there is nothing u can do when allah wills a thing all he says to it is be.
Many people are of the impression that a husband takes a second wife simply because the 1st proved to be inadequate, we need to cleanse our minds of this false notion, it is bcoz of this stigma many sisters fear polygamy...<a stubborn fact which wont go away.
When a man takes another wife, people gossip, some woman focus on the wrong thing, instead of why he did it, they focus on the question "what are people gonna say" thus my theory or should i say fact that most sisters fear polygamy because of the stigma that it leaves behind is substantiated for.
My sincere advice to u all, to all those sisters whom allah tests with this, be patient, leaving him, demanding divorce will not increase ur credibility in the eyes of the people any more then u think it decreased it in the 1st place. care what allah thinks not people, this issue of polygamy, i make duca against it, i would not want to be tested with this, but if some day i was, i know leaving him is not the answer, it is better that u be patient , especialy if he is a good husband. there is a reward in patience, do not ruin ur chances for gaining this reward because u feel in leaving u do urself justice, and u prove something to the public.
Allah said marry women in 2's 3's or 4's if u cant be just between them marry only one.
to the brothers whom read this, if u know u cannot be just, please spare your sisters from unwanton hurt or jealousy by not marrying others for the sake of proving masculinity and what not.
To the sisters, allah did not legislate polygamy inorder to bring shame upon u, the western woman mock us for this (despite many of the brothers not marrying more then one) simply because they feel superior, they think their doctrine of love is better then our perfect way of life, they are in competition with us, and thus use polygamy as a way to mock us as a tool to attack us, and it saddens me when i see muslim woman down talking a law of allahs just so they can relate or be in harmony with what those kafira's dictate and say is the norm. even if u agree, keep it to yourself, disscuss this with your own if u must.
I hate when we let these kafira's win, 1st we let them set the example of dress for us, then we let them decide what laws should be moral or not. I say They win because u have sisters whom down talk polygamy, whom threat divorce and say stuff akin to 'i would __ ___ ___ if he married someone else", dont u see u are falling into their trap ? this exactly what they want you to do, 1st step of removing islam according to their plan, is to make the muslims hate their diin bit by bit, its called divide and conquer, u have to know your enemy know their mind, then believe me game recognises game.
let them mock and kid themselves about life, just know that by adhereing to islam, u are a true realist, know that allah put the muslim woman in the front line, and polygamy is not to hurt u or cause u problems, it is a wisdom from allah, many may not understand this hikmah muslims included, but none the less it doesnt mean the wisdom is non existent, blessed be allah whom doesnt do anything unless it serves a purpose.
One more time this life is like a transit, if ur gonna be attached to anything be attached to that which will follow u into the next life, be attached to your deeds.
fi amaanilaah