Am I going mad?

[Kittles]

Anyone answering this thread "yes" will be dealt with most severely... :D

Do you ever get violent thoughts? Like if someone really upsets you do you ever find yourself thinking that you'd really really like to cause them pain? I get this from time to time, and while I don't think I'd ever act on it, it's really disturbing.

I used to have this manager who really bullied me, almost to the point that I was going to have to quit, and the other day I was thinking about holding him down and literally smashing his face in.

I'm not even a violent person - I've never raised a hand in anger to anyone, ever.

Are there any duas that would help me, or would a doctor be a good idea? Please help.

[Bugatti]

How about a baseballbat:rolleyes:

[Bugatti]

The Prophet (s) said: "Hold fast on moral conduct, for it will unquestionably be in Paradise. Beware of ill-temper, for it will unquestionably be in Hell."

"Allah does not allow the ill-tempered to repent… Whenever the ill-tempered repents from a sin, he engages himself in another greater one."

[abdusamad]

just dont hit yourself because it is muharram.

[MMS]

The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A strong man is not
he who defeats his adversary by wrestling, but a strong man is he who
controls himself at the time of anger."


(1) The first medicine of knowledge is to think over the rewards of
appeasing anger, that have come from the verses of the Quran and the
sayings of the Prophet (pbuh). Your hope for getting rewards of
appeasing anger will restrain you from taking revenge.

(2) The second kind of medicine based on knowledge is to fear the
punishment of God and to think that the punishment of God upon me is
greater than my punishment upon him. If I take revenge upon this man
for anger, God will take revenge upon me on the Judgement Day.

(3) The third kind of medicine of anger based on knowledge is to take
precaution about punishment of enmity and revenge on himself. You
feel joy in having your enemy in your presence in his sorrows, You
yourself are not free from that danger. You will fear that your enemy
might take revenge against you in this world and in the next.

(4) Another kind of medicine based on knowledge is to think about the
ugly face of the angry man, which is just like that of the ferocious
beast. He who appeases anger looks like a sober and learned man.

(5) The fifth kind of medicine based on knowledge is to think that the
devil will advise by saying: " You will be weak if you do not get
angry!" Do not listen to him!

(6) The sixth reason is to think: " What reason have I got to get
angry? What Allah wishes has occurred!"

When you get angry, say: I seek refuge in God from the accursed evil
(A'oudhou billaahi min as shaytaan ir rajeem). The prophet (pbuh)
ordered us to say thus.

The prophet (pbuh) said: Anger is a burning coal. Don't you see your
eyebrows wide and eyes reddish? So when one of you feels angry, let
him sit down if standing, and lie down if sitting.

The prophet (pbuh) said : " When one of you gets angry, let him make
ablution with water as anger arises out of fire." In another
narration, he said:" Anger comes from the devil and the devil is made
of fire."

[Bugatti]

just dont hit yourself because it is muharram.
OKay bruv im cool..


"If you replace evil habits by virtuous ones, you will certainly find that your enemies will become your intimate friends. Only those who exercise patience and who have been granted a great share of Allah's favor can find such an opportunity. (41:34-5)"

[Kittles]

The Prophet (s) said: "Hold fast on moral conduct, for it will unquestionably be in Paradise. Beware of ill-temper, for it will unquestionably be in Hell."

"Allah does not allow the ill-tempered to repent… Whenever the ill-tempered repents from a sin, he engages himself in another greater one."

Does that mean I can't be forgiven for angry thoughts? That's even more frightening...

MMS, that was beautiful. Ameen.

[Ayah]

Anyone answering this thread "yes" will be dealt with most severely... :D

Do you ever get violent thoughts? Like if someone really upsets you do you ever find yourself thinking that you'd really really like to cause them pain? I get this from time to time, and while I don't think I'd ever act on it, it's really disturbing.

I used to have this manager who really bullied me, almost to the point that I was going to have to quit, and the other day I was thinking about holding him down and literally smashing his face in.

I'm not even a violent person - I've never raised a hand in anger to anyone, ever.

Are there any duas that would help me, or would a doctor be a good idea? Please help.

When one is angry, he/she should take our beloved prophet's advice, to prevent the anger from getting out of control.

Book 41, Number 4764:
Narrated AbuDharr:
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.



Book 41, Number 4766: Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di:
AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.



Taken from: Partial Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 41.

The above is a quote from a different post of mine :p It's normal to get angry at work. Just say, "audhubillahi min ash'shaytaan ar'rajeem," meaning,"'I seek protection in Allah from the accursed satan." I used to work with a really annoying manager and I was going to leave my job b/c of her too. My parents told me to just be patient for sometime, and things may change. I really doubted it at the time. A few months later, we got along so so well. It was really miraculous when I think back to the whole situation. Just be the better person. Be cool about things. It's not worth it to react back to the way some ppl act towards you. If someone is nasty to you, think about how much our prophet, peace be upon him, as well as all of the other prophets before him suffered. They were always patient. So let them be an example for you insha Allah. When you let yourself get angry, you'll get even more angry each time you think back to the particular situation. However, if you remain calm and silently pray while you're at work, you'll feel so much better.

May Allah be with you sis.

~ Ayah

[MalikOne™]

Anyone answering this thread "yes" will be dealt with most severely... :D

Do you ever get violent thoughts? Like if someone really upsets you do you ever find yourself thinking that you'd really really like to cause them pain? I get this from time to time, and while I don't think I'd ever act on it, it's really disturbing.

I used to have this manager who really bullied me, almost to the point that I was going to have to quit, and the other day I was thinking about holding him down and literally smashing his face in.



Yeh I do :rolleyes:

There is nothing un-natural- wrong with what you have said above, if someone is oppressing you, you fight back simple as.

If someone upsets me and I have a good reason to be upset as long as they are not muslim they are gonna get what is coming to em and there is nothing wrong with that.

Its easier to control yourself when the person that has aggravated you is a muslim, because you realise if you act a fool, you'll earn the wrath of Allah swt.

If the person is muslim that has upset you, restrain yourself for the sake of Allah swt.

[Ayah]

Does that mean I can't be forgiven for angry thoughts? That's even more frightening...

MMS, that was beautiful. Ameen.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=835&CATE=3 (http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=835&CATE=3)

Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reports that the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) reported from Allah Most High that, “Verily, Allah has written the good and the bad, and then explained it. So whoever inclines to perform a good deed but does not perform it, Allah writes it for him as a complete good deed. Then, if he inclined towards it and actually performs it, Allah writes it for him as ten good deeds to seven hundred time, to many times over. And if he inclines towards a bad deed but does not perform it, Allah writes it for him as a complete good deed. If he inclined towards it and then performed it, Allah writes it as one bad deed.” [Bukhari, 6010 & Muslim, 187]

Imam Zaynal-Din Ibn Nujaym explained in his al-Ashbah wa al-Nadha’ir that:

“The mere whisperings of the soul are not punished, unless one speaks or acts on them, as mentioned in the hadith in [Sahih] Muslim. The summary of what the scholars have discussed on this is that the thoughts of sin or good works that occur to the soul are of five levels:

1. The notion (hajis), which is that which occurs to it;
2. The thought (khatir), which is the notion going through it;
3. The whisperings of the soul (hadith al-nafs), which is the uncertainty is has as to whether to do something or not;
4. Inclination ( hamm ), which is to lean towards doing something;
5. Determination (`azm).

There is scholarly consensus that mere notions are not punished, for they are not from one’s actions… As for thoughts and whisperings of the soul, even though one could avoid them by negating the notion as soon as it occurs, they are, however, not taken to account because of the authentic hadiths related to them…

As for inclination, it has been explained in the authentic hadiths that inclining towards a good dead leads to a good dead being written for one, though if one [merely] inclines to a bad deed this is not written…

As for determination, the scholars of verification hold that it is taken into account… It is mentioned in al-Bazzaziyya that, “If one inclined towards committing sin, this is not sinful, unless one fixed one’s determination on doing so. If one determined to do, one sins, but not the [complete] sin of the actual action…” al-Ashbah wa’l Nadha’ir]

This corresponds to what Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (Allah have mercy on him) explained in his Fath al-Bari, commenting upon the hadith of Ibn Abbas, and he stated that this was the position of Baqillani, and that Qadi Iyad stated that this was the position of the majority of the early Muslims and of the scholars.

And Allah alone gives success.

Walaikum assalam,
Faraz Rabbani

[Al-Irhaab]

just dont hit yourself because it is muharram.


:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Niqaabi]

Sis check out my Anger Management on the Sisters forum.
I think im going to have to start my relaxation techniques again thanks to a few ummah members :rolleyes:

[muslim2b]

the anitcs of your boss should be documented and if possible recorded.

In the first instance it should be reported to his senior, and failing that taking to the director of HR.

It can be financially lucrative for you long run ;)

[Emelianenko]

aye sometime when ppl tick me off i get really violent thoughts..:embar: but i aint got the minerals to even raise me voice :embar:

[Abu.Bakr]

Keep reciting the words "A'uthu billaahi minal shaytaan al-rajeem, bismillah ar-Rahmaan ar-Raheem" and make Wudu.

[SoulAsylum]

Sometimes the best policy is not to react. If they are trying to wind you up, dont give them the pleasure of succeeding, that will empower you and they will end up looking like the fool.

[a muslim]

don't let people bully you around, it can have psychological effect on you.

[Leena_Cnd]

I used to have this manager who really bullied me, almost to the point that I was going to have to quit, and the other day I was thinking about holding him down and literally smashing his face in.

I'm not even a violent person - I've never raised a hand in anger to anyone, ever.

Are there any duas that would help me, or would a doctor be a good idea? Please help.
.
If there is no union go to human resources, do not handle this alone.
First, make note and keep a log of the incidents that trigger, and push your buttons.
If you try to resolve by talking to him, why he is bullying you, :scratch: do NOT do it alone.
If it continues, go to the employer with a witness and notes.
There are other guide lines on how to handle this kind of stess,
check the net.
http://www.mytoxicboss.com/
.
.

[MG]

Anyone answering this thread "yes" will be dealt with most severely... :D

Do you ever get violent thoughts? Like if someone really upsets you do you ever find yourself thinking that you'd really really like to cause them pain? I get this from time to time, and while I don't think I'd ever act on it, it's really disturbing.

I used to have this manager who really bullied me, almost to the point that I was going to have to quit, and the other day I was thinking about holding him down and literally smashing his face in.

I'm not even a violent person - I've never raised a hand in anger to anyone, ever.

Are there any duas that would help me, or would a doctor be a good idea? Please help.


kittles as long as u dont carry out your angry thoguhts , inshallah u will be ok, but i agree with MMS, take refuge in allah swt and recite "aaooz billahi mina shaitan nira jeem" (i ask allah's protection from the accursed devil).


inshallah u will be fine.

[Skeletonkey]

kitties, you're totally nuts.
Sorry!
I have nuclear weapons for sale just in case.

[mara]

After your cat lost, you need some time to be fine again. May be will help you another cat:embar: Until than you will blame everyone and everything....

[abdusamad]

just dont hit yourself because it is muharram.


was this rude?

i got neg repped for it :scratch:

[Ar-Raya]

Is not the reward for intending to do a bad deed/action and then not doing it...Written down as One good deed...(not that we should go around thinking bad deeds to get good ones)...*frowns*...

Kittles...Ukhti you are not alone in this situation...
At work at the moment,My Manager an Ex-Yugoslavian with no knowledge of Politeness and a seeming hatred for Muslims...

I find my patient tested to the limit...
Only last week I found myself red with anger.I could feel that my face was completely red...and it took like ages for me to calm down...
I would say that i am a very calm person(a bit grumpy when tired...OK very grumpy...Well proportionately to tiredness)...
But I found myself thinking certain things...And i didnt like it...

Infact when i went home...I went straight to sleep and I woke Up 17 hours later (astaghfirala i missed my salah)...
But i woke up feeling better about my manager...
Even though we do have these negative thoughts towards tyrants and Oppresors and bullies...We should try as much as possible to have patience for the sake of Allah ta'ala...And knowing that surely every single one of their deeds has been written down And they will be REWARDED justly for their BULLYING

[MalikOne™]

Raah man there was these two black guys (christians) I kno..twins and they were nutters last year, I just saw dem now, they started tlkin to me about the love of jesus and how we're all brothers :rolleyes: blah blah blah and I eventually said to em, if I bwoyed you, wud u get vex they went no, id let god judge them, then I went if I punched you in the face, would you react? they go naa id walk away and leave it to God. Then I went if I jacked you of your fone, are u gona do nething? they were like naa the person would still be my brother, they'd just be mis-understood and god is loving, id leave it to God.

:scratch: damn

[Skeletonkey]

Great.
Just wonderful.
What the hell am I gonna do with all these nuclear weapons now?