high divorce rates amongst muslims

[Al-ghurabah]

salam lately you will notcie alot of muslims are going through divorce daily. this is makruh in islam (disliked by allah swt)
What are the reasons for this. The shariah courts of uk are very busy dealing with so many cases. ive herd of few cases as i knew someone from the shariah court. its ajeeb the way muslims think and act these days.

One speaker from usa sujjexted reason is because most partners have high expectations of each other and marraied life before marriage. He was saying guys to impress the girls give high opinions of themselves. he will say i have good job im practising im all that. but after marriage they find out its not. therefore girl is dissapointed. visa-versa.

The main reason is actually the absence of the shariah in our lives. hence living under non islamic laws a muslim is not obliged to obey allah as there is no punishment.

for example in the UK to have an affair is not a crime. rather its promoted in soaps and even politicians do it.

so a muslim knows he will face no punishment and does it. its also the society which is non islamic and these ideas are promoted.


we need to establish a state which will run under shariah law.

in the meantime we need to be realistic and be honest with our potential partners and not have any un- realistic expectations. We need to learn what marriage in islam is about and read the seerah of the prophet and the sahabah's see how they went about marriage life.

also we need to know that allah is allwasy watching us. therefore every sin is being recoreded.


may allah help us to remain in a happy marriage.

[AbuSadiq]

salam lately you will notcie alot of muslims are going through divorce daily. this is makruh in islam (disliked by allah swt)
What are the reasons for this. The shariah courts of uk are very busy dealing with so many cases. ive herd of few cases as i knew someone from the shariah court. its ajeeb the way muslims think and act these days.

One speaker from usa sujjexted reason is because most partners have high expectations of each other and marraied life before marriage. He was saying guys to impress the girls give high opinions of themselves. he will say i have good job im practising im all that. but after marriage they find out its not. therefore girl is dissapointed. visa-versa.

The main reason is actually the absence of the shariah in our lives. hence living under non islamic laws a muslim is not obliged to obey allah as there is no punishment.

for example in the UK to have an affair is not a crime. rather its promoted in soaps and even politicians do it.

so a muslim knows he will face no punishment and does it. its also the society which is non islamic and these ideas are promoted.


we need to establish a state which will run under shariah law.

in the meantime we need to be realistic and be honest with our potential partners and not have any un- realistic expectations. We need to learn what marriage in islam is about and read the seerah of the prophet and the sahabah's see how they went about marriage life.

also we need to know that allah is allwasy watching us. therefore every sin is being recoreded.


may allah help us to remain in a happy marriage.

Akhi, Jazaakal Laahu Khair.

Actually you have spoken the truth on the need to have a well organised islamic state or shari'ah compliant society, despite the fact that it is not going to be easy these days. However, Allah Has promised that it shall come to pass, so no matter the glaring impossiblity today, one day, the perceived strong will become weak, while the weak strong, INSHA'ALLAH.

Yes, the rate of divorce is very high among we the Muslims (especially here in Africa), though its very insignificant, compare to what is obtainable in the west (a non-islamic society). However, the muslims have no alternative than being honest to one other either before or after consummation. Because until we follow Allah's Sharee'ah in our daily lives first, before it becomes established in the society. If not, we shall continue to wander in the darkness with the kuffar.

May the Almighty Allah deliver us, amin.

[Salahudin]

it looks like shaytan is succeeding in his mission, ofcourse we are in his playground.

I think the cause is a compination of many things, and I would say most are due to pre-marriage plans or the lack of clear objectives and intentions.

[jannah1978]

assalamu alaykum,

was reading this with interest.

I guess high expectations can be one reason for divorce but I think one important one is pairing together incompatible spouses and not marrying for the right reasons such as deen and piety.

When I married I had the 'forced arranged marriage' thing. My parents chose the spouse and I didn't like him at all but despite all my pleas they insisted I married him because culturally he was the right colour with the right profession but his eman was zero. I have become more devout and am eager for a devout husband and if I had stayed with him I doubt I would have been on my journey to Jannah.

there are very muslims in this country as it is but when your parents further narrow down the search to a particular colour, village, town it becomes a game of chance in finding compatibility.

[rukayya1424]

assalamu alaikum,

yeah, i have also made this experience, around me. well, the reason i think, a lot of people have not taken islam by heard. this means, they do not practice it in all fields of life. one reason for this is that we do not have a real islamic state!
people do not have enough sabr.
one couple, at first they were friends then the woman became muslimah, alhamdulillah. but time goes by and problems came, she did not understand and so she is not able to practice islam how it is really is and she doesn't understand the culture of her husband. so family breaks. :(
and as you said, a lot of people have too much material expectations in life. but a muslim should not have this. life is not for dunya. the porphet said, that a man should marry for one reason; he should proof the imaan of his commen wife. this is a very important aspect, because it is the women job to educate the next generation of the ummah.
the ummah is weak today because of family-breakdown among muslim families.
in my opinion the muslim women plays an important role.
at first, a lot of muslim women in the west, or in arab countries do not wear proper hijab. how many muslimahs have "excueses" for not covering, "i must earn money", "i will wear it when i am old" etc. pp. so this causes fitnah among the ummah, family breakdown etc. fitnah is the most dangerous enemy for the ummah today, muslims get weak and so the kuffar can invade our lands.
second; a muslim has to fear Allah ta ala in all aspects of his / her life! this means not only to do your 5 daily prayers.
third; sabr; the medicine of a muslim is sabr in all aspects of life. how did the sahabah resisted the tortures of the kuffar!? the answer is sabr! and what are the muslims doing today? some do their 5 daily prayers but that's all!!

may Allah give us sabr in dunya.

wa'salam

[Hekmaa]

When it comes to marriage, and life between two people its is MUCH more important that the two INDIVIDUALS follow the Shariah within themselves, and within the house. Even in Islamic countries, and countries that are running Shariah, the rates of divorce are high. Shariah states are not against divorce, nor does it close the door of divorce. If couples are unhappy with each other, they can still get divorce even under the shariah.

However if there is Quran and Sunnah, and the Shariah of Allah in practice in our lives, then our lives will be molded to be more tolerant, more accepting, more patient, more God fearing etc, which will lead couples to comprimise with one another, rather then demand from one another.

It is this demanding attitude that creates divides, because he nor she budge, and they both ride high on their horses.

Unless there is good conduct like that of the Holy Prophet in our lives, there will always be divorce. Islam does not keep two unhappy people forcefully in a marriage, however Islam does teach them how to be happy in a marriage.

[Ebony]

Why Aren't Marriages Working Out? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55405&highlight=marriage+divorce+love)

[Coventry Sister]

Mufti Muhammad Noman Daji

In an ideal world, a Muslim should ask a Mufti regarding Islamic rulings in situations that concern them. However, this is not the case where people do not ask, are scared to know the outcome or basically not bothered.
As a Mufti and passionate about educating the community about the whole of Islam i try my best to fulfill my responsibility with the approach i find appropriate. There are many issues in the community that needs to be resolved which we Muslims - not only Scholars - need to play a part in resolving.

I am involved in a lot of educational events mainly for brothers but also try to organise as many for sisters as i possibly can (there is more that could be done but i require more Aapas who can deliver them) that i think are relevant to current society for the local community but still people do not take interest as i would expect. I organised an event on 'Marriage' a few years a go where we covered a lot of marital issues. I am thinking of organising a series of events regarding all aspects of Marriage and Divorce primarily for prospective / newly weds - but open to all - that will cover both issues comprehensively. It will Insha Allah be before the marriage season next year - summer 2006. Also, i intend to deliver a special presentation on 'Divorce' next summer in the 'Summer Course' i organise where this topic will be discussed.

[Al-Irhaab]

divorce is not makruh .... the prophet (saw) divorced twice.... it is mubah but is one of those mubahs that should be avoided at all cost unless neccessary.

[peace2u]

I learned this a while ago but forgot:embar: what's the difference between Mubah and Makruk???

Peace

[Supernova Nebula]

I learned this a while ago but forgot:embar: what's the difference between Mubah and Makruk???

Peace

Mubah means ure allowed to do something, eg. it's mubah to exchange gifts with your friends during Eid:inlove: . Makruh means somehting like abominable but not haraam eg. prophet saw detested a kind of lizard eaten by the sahabah but he didnt make it haram for them to eat, he just kept quiet. correct me please if you have better explanations. same with talaq, although, Allah detests it, but it's allowed and not haram.

[jimm]

so a muslim knows he will face no punishment and does it. its also the society which is non islamic and these ideas are promoted.



if a muslim thinks this, then no matter how 'religiously based' societal laws are, he will still do the same thing. The reasons why marriages fail is because there are two humans who are part of it. It happens, people dont get along, they begin to hate each other. Its all a part of life.

[marseille]

Salaam everyone,
Divorce rates are rising because alot of muslims now dont know theyre marriagal rights. This is due to ignorance. If both the husband and wife knew what theyre rights were they wouldnt be struck with as many problems. Obviously every couple have problems, its normal, but you do also get some people that give up too easily. Marriage isnt supposed to be easy, which alot of couples going into marriage think it is.

Culture does have a large part to play in it too.
Cultural differences and cultural domination in the marriage blow our rights out of the window. People following what theyre fathers have taught them and what theyre fathers have taught them beleiving this is the right way and not wanting and afraid to change years of tradition in the family.
I know that in a lot of eastern cultures the wife has to prioritise her husbands parents and she has to serve them bacause they are his priority, but what many people fail to realise is that this is a culturally twisted law implied into islam. Women who have been brought up to beleive that this is islammic will do it, no questions asked and this can cause stress for her. Looking after a house, cooking, serving her children, serving her husband, educating herself to islam, educating her children and then having the additional responsibility to serve and cook for her husbands parents is very stessful. This can cause for her to become tired and overworked, therefore she is too tired by the end of the day to spend quality time with her husband and fulfill his rights effectivly, which in cause can cause him to commit adultery. This is just an example and doesnt happen in all cases.
I also know that with some arab and asian cultures the wife has to sit quietly and not argue with her husband but the husband can say whatever he wants to her. That the daughter inlaw has to 'distance' herself from her parents and prioritise her parent inlaws. The husbands dont lift a finger in the house. They expect fresh food on theyre table when they wakeup and as soon as they get home from work. The husband demands the house spotless but if he is messy, the wife should clean up after him. He doesnt have anything to do with her parents and she shouldnt see her parents more than she sees his. She isnt even allowed to see her parents on the 1st day of eid because she has to spend the whole day with his parents. And he doesnt have much to do with the children. Because he has been granted with the right of obedience from the wife he tends to feels belittled if she asks him to do something for her. This is also an example and doesnt apply to every person of an arab or asian culture its just based on experiences of knowing people who have had marriagal problems asuch.
When reading the above examples, it may sound like i am blaming the men in these cultures, but in fact it is both the husbands and wives faults. If the wives studied theyre rights and the husbands studied the rights too they will only realise that men and womens rights are equal apart from the maintanence, food and clothing for the wife and the obedience from the wife. What i mean by obedience from the wife, it doesnt mean he can boss her around and she has to listen with the husband totally disregarding her happiness and welfare (which is the case in the cultures that i have come across), what it really means is that after consultation between the couples, the husband has the final decision to what is reasonable.
Also ive noticed in the western and eastern culture is that women tend to expect alot off theyre husbands. When they look for a husband, they tend to want to marry doctors and men of high status. And men tend to look for women with good looks and even with a career. I agree with what was posted before about intentions before you get married.

Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The
Prophet (s.a.w) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons:
for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so
try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed."

We have been clearly guided for the success of a marriagal spouse, but many people are blind to it. I do think that there needs to be more marriagal talks about islam. This will help. People do need to study marriagal rights before they get married, it is very important. Thats not just one of the couple, both the husband and wife do. People need to be more aware because it is half of our deen, which makes it a very important and effective test for us. Or even if a certain type of counselling is given to the proposed couple about rights and obligations before they marry, that may help. But then it may be a bit of a long shot. Its down to the individual and wether Allah swt wants to open theyre eyes.

Inshallah Allah swt will open those eyes that are closed and keep open the eyes that are open in this test. May Allah swt grant you all happy marriages Inshallah.

[Te'oma]

The main reason is actually the absence of the shariah in our lives. hence living under non islamic laws a muslim is not obliged to obey allah as there is no punishment.


I find this a little disturbing. Why would a good muslim need to have the fear of punishment hanging over him. I thought that the believer obeyed without coersion.