mixed marriages

[LiveIslam]

salam

theres a person i want to get married to inshallah who is a revert and non bangali. BUT im worried my parents are going to say no as they have a lot of pride about what ppl wil think and also they are very traditional. i knw this person is good for me as he is very praticing muslim and make me a better muslim.

i wants sum advise. u ppl think i shud listen to my parents or think about my future?

jazallah

salam

[NaDiA!]

W'Salaam

My sis was in a similar situation... we're pakistani and ofcourse r parents r traditional when it comes to marriage... The guy my sis liked was chinese but had converted to islam a year ago. My sis thaught my parents wud never agree but she got the courage to tell them that she wanted to get married to him.. When she told my parents my dad and bro were shockingly ok with it. and said as long as he is a gud muslim and keeps u happy we dont have a problem with it.. However, my mum was not ok with it! she was thinking wat will people say, wat will family think etc... but all in gud time with Allah's will she came round and realised wat a nice guy he was and wud keep my sis happy... now mashallah they've been married for 2 years and have the cutest baby ever!!

ofcourse u have 2 listen to ur parents aswel as think about ur future.. im sure if ur parents get to know him they will realise he is gud for u and will keep u happy inshallah.. and thats wat every parent wants for their children..

Just keep in ur faith in Allah... as Allah knows best..



salam

theres a person i want to get married to inshallah who is a revert and non bangali. BUT im worried my parents are going to say no as they have a lot of pride about what ppl wil think and also they are very traditional. i knw this person is good for me as he is very praticing muslim and make me a better muslim.

i wants sum advise. u ppl think i shud listen to my parents or think about my future?

jazallah

salam

[Abu Noah]

W'Salaam

wat will people say, wat will family think etc... but all in gud time with Allah's


i am a muslim convert and my wife is of pakistani origin, her parents still have a hard time with the above, what people will think about them what people will say.

it gives a vary bad impression of the community that they live in, but inch'alla things will improve.

[Jammie]

:salams


Bengalis are tough nuts to crack as you well know. Indeed, Bengalis couldn't even marry Bengalis unless they are from the right part of Bongoland. You know all of this as well as I do and the typical suggestion is to quote Islam to them but, more often than not, culture tends to superscede for them.

My advice, therefore, is to keep persevering and explaining to them and trying to bring them round. Remember to maintain a topmost level of politeness and not to get angry even if they are very unreasonable. If they angry or start spouting abuse, then simply walk away and come back the nexy day and try again. Try to explain to them that what other people think is not important when they are thinking such stupid things.

"What will other people say?" - A typical Bengali line, and I so hate it.

May Allah grant you what is good for you in this life and the Hereafter.

[PaGaL~LaDo0]

^ameen


may Allah do whatevers best for you inshAllah :D

[LiveIslam]

jazaallah

jammie uoy are totally right bangalis are so had to convince especialy my mother she has a lot of pride which will be very tough. but inshallah it works out

[TinyTerror]

Assalamualaikumjazaallah

jammie uoy are totally right bangalis are so had to convince especialy my mother she has a lot of pride which will be very tough. but inshallah it works out
So true! My mum is the same. She think she's openminded becasue she's willing to accept Pakistanis too :rolleyes: LOL! :inlove:

My dad on the other hand couldn't care less. Once he brought a chinese revert round for my sis and mum nearly had a fit but my dad was quite firm becasue he really liked the dude and he was really practising. (Well my sis said no on accounts of her being even tinier than me and he was 6'5"!!! Poor dude he really liked her :( but that's besides the point :p )

Wa Alaikumassalam

[LiveIslam]

you dont understand my mum she has to be the best and right at everything. we cant teach my mum but she can teach us. she wants to show that her family is the best then wen we are at home she will say this family is like this and that why cant you lot be like that. i dnt knw hw im going to get around her. as for my dad he just dosent want to let his gals go.

[TinyTerror]

Assalamualaikumyou dont understand my mum she has to be the best and right at everything. we cant teach my mum but she can teach us. she wants to show that her family is the best then wen we are at home she will say this family is like this and that why cant you lot be like that. i dnt knw hw im going to get around her. as for my dad he just dosent want to let his gals go.
:( That must be tough

Alhamdulillah my mum's just a joker and though she objects, usually becasue of language barriers (she speaks bengali and urdu fluently but her english is weak) she does accept the islamic aspect when my dad asserts it! :inlove:

I think maybe just have sabr. Allah tests us all and inshallah if you keep praying and just wait it out eventually she will get bored of trying to get you married to whoever SHE likes and give in to your request! If it's meant to be it will happen just don't give in. Islamically your parents do not have the right to turn away a prospective on unislamic grounds. They do have the right to evaluate the dude to see if he is of good character and can support you etc but NOT over race/colour etc

Allah knows best

I make dua for you sweeetie :)

Wa Alaikumassalam

[LiveIslam]

jazallah

thanx for the advise just what i need sister

salam

:up:

[Ar-Raya]

Asalam Alaikum Wa Ramatualahi Wa Barakatu...

You said that your worried that your parents will say no...
Well you wont know until you ask them...You should talk with them,then(InshaAllah they wont,but)if they say no you have a starting point...to work from.ie trying to convince them...
If they do say yes...MashaAllah.
You wont know until you ask...







having said that...i think i need to take my own advise...lol

[janathi]

salam

theres a person i want to get married to inshallah who is a revert and non bangali. BUT im worried my parents are going to say no as they have a lot of pride about what ppl wil think and also they are very traditional. i knw this person is good for me as he is very praticing muslim and make me a better muslim.

i wants sum advise. u ppl think i shud listen to my parents or think about my future?

jazallah

salam

Assalamualykum wrwb

Sis , In my opinion you should listen to your parents.

They brought you up with dedication and love you dearly. You asking for this could break thier hearts. Especially in todays society, there are mixed marriges that are taking place alot. There is nothing wrong with it however islamaically. Alhamdulillah

You may feel, he is the right person to marry, have you thought how your future will be with him? Language barrior? cultural needs? etc

I personally haven't gone through that phase of life yet, so am just sharing an opinion.I have seen broken hearted parents and Walla its horrible.

If your parents are understanding, then yes go ahead and discuss it with them..if Allah (swt) wanted your union to take place it will happen Insha'allah.

The Bangladeshi culture is very narrow minded, I HAVE TO AGREE!

No matter how much you love this brother sis...don't forget the poeple who will never forget you! Your Parents!

Insha'allah I will pray for you Insha'allah

May Allah (swt) guide you to the right.

Insha'allah

Ameen

Wa'salaam

[Yusuf!]

Pray to Allah swt

then tell them and aslong as he can support you and is a muslim and you want nicah as i understand it islamically then they cant say no. not on a race reason anyway! inshallah you will be ok

[Ibn Khattab]

may Allah help you sista. just make the most of this month of ramadan, especially during the odd nights of the last 10 days. during this time, duas are more likely to be accepted so make the most of it and ask Allah for the best.

[Siddiqa]

Pray Istikharah (very important)... and do what you must when it comes to convincing your parents. Don't give up easy. I know culture and family don't make it any better. Many of us either are or have been in this situation. I would say... be persistent.... respectfully persistent.

Most importantly... know that... if it does not come to pass, it was because it was never meant to be, to begin with. The pen has written, the ink has dried. :)

Allah will give you whats best FOR YOU, even though you may think otherwise. Allahu Alam wa `Alaa!

May Allah make this easy for you. Aameen.

[United]

Should you be speaking to a guy without your parents permission. Isn't this HARAAM???

In islam there is a concept of WALI'AMR....i suggest you lot read up on this.

[LiveIslam]

salam

i know that you shouldnt speak to guys without ur parents permission. but if u like a guy there is nothing wrong with that.

[ummbilal]

Pray Istikharah (very important)... and do what you must when it comes to convincing your parents. Don't give up easy. I know culture and family don't make it any better. Many of us either are or have been in this situation. I would say... be persistent.... respectfully persistent.

Most importantly... know that... if it does not come to pass, it was because it was never meant to be, to begin with. The pen has written, the ink has dried. :)

Allah will give you whats best FOR YOU, even though you may think otherwise. Allahu Alam wa `Alaa!

May Allah make this easy for you. Aameen.


Allhumdulilah, this is exactly what i was going to say, its hard trying to keep your parents happy and choose someone u want to share your life with,

Amin to the above, sister.