marriage between cousins know y

[newnida]

Assalamualaikum



I need ur suggestions..,on the following situations.

There are 2 cousins of opposite sex who live in different countries..

They became very good friends.

The male cousin fell in love with female…who was also his friend.

But the F.cousin always thought him of as her brother & friend. so it was as

Big shock 2 her when he told her of his feelings .

But after some time. The girl convinced him 2 just maintain friendship with her.

The guy agreed but he often reminds her what he feels 4 her.

Now this girl feels he will never be just a friend as he says its impossible 4 him.

Do u think this Muslim girl should maintain friendship with him.

The reasons behind her friendship with him were that …1st he was a relative..if she told this 2 her family. it could disturb their relations & 2nd is that he was a very good friend .

Do give me ur advice.







The other thing I want 2 ask u is that can there be just friendship between men & women

& does islam allows just friendship between the 2 sexes .

[newnida]

Asslamualaikum



Is there reasons given in Quran

Y in islam marriage between cousins r allowed

[ze leetle elper]

Why should it not be allowed?

They are not your mahram.

[ze leetle elper]

The male cousin fell in love with female…who was also his friend.

But the F.cousin always thought him of as her brother & friend. so it was as

Big shock 2 her when he told her of his feelings .

But after some time. The girl convinced him 2 just maintain friendship with her.

The guy agreed but he often reminds her what he feels 4 her.

Now this girl feels he will never be just a friend as he says its impossible 4 him.

Do u think this Muslim girl should maintain friendship with him.

You have already answered your own question here.

'Now this girl feels he will never be just a friend as he says its impossible 4 him.'

End of confusion.


The reasons behind her friendship with him were that …1st he was a relative..if she told this 2 her family. it could disturb their relations & 2nd is that he was a very good friend .

Do give me ur advice.

Again, no she should not keep 'friendship' with this man.




The other thing I want 2 ask u is that can there be just friendship between men & women

& does islam allows just friendship between the 2 sexes

I guess not -- look at the example you just gave.

Define friendship. Going out together? Having dinner dates? Going bowling together? Chatting on the phone for hours with one another?

If you were to marry a guy, how would it make you feel if you found out that previously he had been *friends* with a female and done these things? Uncomfortable? Of course it would.

Therefore its best to keep the friendships between your gender -- wait until you get married and then you will have the best male friend...forever :D

[Haz]

Assalamualaikum



The other thing I want 2 ask u is that can there be just friendship between men & women

& does islam allows just friendship between the 2 sexes .



People just love going back to Jahiliyah.

[in_exile]

they should just get married man forget all the friendship thing just get married

[mara]

If she doesn't want to marry with him its better to stop the friendship immediately. He will never move on with his life if she keeps talking with him, giving him hopes something will be change in future.

[newnida]

If she doesn't want to marry with him its better to stop the friendship immediately. He will never move on with his life if she keeps talking with him, giving him hopes something will be change in future.
i simply agree with u, but i told u she is her relative...what should she do....if she ends her friendship with him...its goin 2 effect thier family ties.

[newnida]

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You have already answered your own question here.

'Now this girl feels he will never be just a friend as he says its impossible 4 him.'

End of confusion.




Again, no she should not keep 'friendship' with this man.




[font=Times New Roman][size=3]

I guess not -- look at the example you just gave.

Define friendship. Going out together? Having dinner dates? Going bowling together? Chatting on the phone for hours with one another?

If you were to marry a guy, how would it make you feel if you found out that previously he had been *friends* with a female and done these things? Uncomfortable? Of course it would.

Therefore its best to keep the friendships between your gender -- wait until you get married and then you will have the best male friend...forever :D
hey ur defination differs 4m the friendship they share...as i told u they live in different countries...so they hardly meet...they only exchange emails..share thier problems..& thier day 2 day happenings...
u can say just the innocent stuff...thier friendship as i understand is where they have a great understanding.....
&the thing that they should get married is that..its a thing that is either in hands of allah ...or thier respective parents.

[peace2u]

then she should just tell her family what's up and that she does not want a relationship with him. And the e-mails, if she can't cut it off immediately, then she should put time between e-mails until she can stop it completely. I agree with the post above, she should stick with her gender for friendships until she gets married :)


Peace

[Umm Layth]

How will not being friends with non-mahram cousin break family ties? :scratch:

[Hamza Momand]

no na mehrm cant be friends.if a person wants to marry his cousin so he shall just tell this to his parents.

[Abdurahman]

1stly the ruling for marrying relatives is..............

Praise be to Allaah.

A number of scholars regarded it as mustahabb for a man to marry a woman who is not related to him, and they gave a number of reasons for that:

1 – The child would have good characteristics, because he would take characteristics from his father’s side and his mother’s side.

2 – There is no guarantee that they will not separate which would lead to severing of the ties of kinship.

It says in al-Insaaf (8/16): It is mustahabb to choose a woman who is religiously committed and fertile, a virgin of good lineage who is not a relative. End quote.

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (5/9): A non-relative, because her children will have better characteristics, and because there is no guarantee that they will not separate, which in the case of marriage to a relative would lead to severing of the ties of kinship, which we are enjoined to uphold. And it is said that non-relatives give children with better characteristics and female cousins have more patience. End quote.

Al-Nawawi said in al-Manhaaj: It is mustahabb to choose a religiously committed virgin who is of good lineage but is not a close relative.” Al-Jalaal al-Mahalli said in his Sharh: “Not a close relative” means a non-relative or a distant relative. The one who is distantly related is better than one who is not related at all. End quote from Sharh al-Mahalli ma’a Haashiyat Qalyoobi wa ‘Umayrah, 3/208.

You can see that there is no text concerning this matter, rather it is the ijtihaad of the fuqaha’ which they based on these interests, which differ from one person to another, and from one type of relationship to another. A man may decide to marry a relative so as to protect her and honour her family, or she may be religiously committed and of good character.

The basic principle is that marriage is permissible. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Zaynab bint Jahsh who was the daughter of his paternal aunt, and he gave his daughter Zaynab in marriage to Abu’l-‘Aas who was the son of her maternal aunt, and ‘Ali married Faatimah, and he was the son of her father’s paternal uncle.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after quoting the reasons that the fuqaha’ gave, of seeking good characteristics in the children and the fear of severing the ties of kinship:

What they said is true, but if there is someone among the relatives who is better in terms of other considerations (such as religious commitment, lineage and beauty), then that is better. In the event that they are equal in these terms, then a non-relative is better.

So if a female cousin is religiously committed and of good character, and he is in a weak position and needs kindness and support, then undoubtedly such a marriage serves a great interest. A man should pay attention to his interests in this case. There is no shar’i text concerning this matter that has to be followed, hence a person should do what he thinks is in his best interests. End quote from al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/123.

The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked about marrying relatives and whether that causes retardation in the children.

They replied: There are no saheeh ahaadeeth which forbid marriage to relatives. The incidence of retardation happens by the will and decree of Allaah and is not caused by marriage to relatives as is widely believed. End quote.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 18/13

And Allaah knows best.

2ndly, the ruling for having friends who are non mehrum is............

Praise be to Allaah.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing


Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are: Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning);

"...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said:

""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."

www.islamqa.com (http://www.islamqa.com)

[Al-Nasser]

in Amerikka to marry your cousin is like marrying your sister....while sleeping with someone you are not married to is called "making love" and the silver screen prostitution is called "the adult industry"

Amerikkans are really pious, aren't they?

they should remove "In God We Trust" from their bills and replace it with "Hypocrisy is A Must"

[newnida]

1stly the ruling for marrying relatives is..............

Praise be to Allaah.

A number of scholars regarded it as mustahabb for a man to marry a woman who is not related to him, and they gave a number of reasons for that:

1 – The child would have good characteristics, because he would take characteristics from his father’s side and his mother’s side.

2 – There is no guarantee that they will not separate which would lead to severing of the ties of kinship.

It says in al-Insaaf (8/16): It is mustahabb to choose a woman who is religiously committed and fertile, a virgin of good lineage who is not a relative. End quote.

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (5/9): A non-relative, because her children will have better characteristics, and because there is no guarantee that they will not separate, which in the case of marriage to a relative would lead to severing of the ties of kinship, which we are enjoined to uphold. And it is said that non-relatives give children with better characteristics and female cousins have more patience. End quote.

Al-Nawawi said in al-Manhaaj: It is mustahabb to choose a religiously committed virgin who is of good lineage but is not a close relative.” Al-Jalaal al-Mahalli said in his Sharh: “Not a close relative” means a non-relative or a distant relative. The one who is distantly related is better than one who is not related at all. End quote from Sharh al-Mahalli ma’a Haashiyat Qalyoobi wa ‘Umayrah, 3/208.

You can see that there is no text concerning this matter, rather it is the ijtihaad of the fuqaha’ which they based on these interests, which differ from one person to another, and from one type of relationship to another. A man may decide to marry a relative so as to protect her and honour her family, or she may be religiously committed and of good character.

The basic principle is that marriage is permissible. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Zaynab bint Jahsh who was the daughter of his paternal aunt, and he gave his daughter Zaynab in marriage to Abu’l-‘Aas who was the son of her maternal aunt, and ‘Ali married Faatimah, and he was the son of her father’s paternal uncle.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after quoting the reasons that the fuqaha’ gave, of seeking good characteristics in the children and the fear of severing the ties of kinship:

What they said is true, but if there is someone among the relatives who is better in terms of other considerations (such as religious commitment, lineage and beauty), then that is better. In the event that they are equal in these terms, then a non-relative is better.

So if a female cousin is religiously committed and of good character, and he is in a weak position and needs kindness and support, then undoubtedly such a marriage serves a great interest. A man should pay attention to his interests in this case. There is no shar’i text concerning this matter that has to be followed, hence a person should do what he thinks is in his best interests. End quote from al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/123.

The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked about marrying relatives and whether that causes retardation in the children.

They replied: There are no saheeh ahaadeeth which forbid marriage to relatives. The incidence of retardation happens by the will and decree of Allaah and is not caused by marriage to relatives as is widely believed. End quote.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 18/13

And Allaah knows best.

2ndly, the ruling for having friends who are non mehrum is............

Praise be to Allaah.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing


Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are: Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning);

"...for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs..."

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said:

""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."

www.islamqa.com (http://www.islamqa.com)
Thanks brother , u almost answered all my queries .

Even at the back of my mind I knew that this kind friendship. is not allowed…

But please tell me that these two people (cousins) share emails…that’s the only means of their friendship. is this too not allowed in Islam .they do not c (meet) each other,



U may say the 2 families of these cousins r in touch through them.

So if they end there friendship..(exchange of email) …its obvious its going 2 effect their family relationships..

The only solution I thought 2 this problem was. that they should be formal with each other…& no friendship should be there .

What do u say….

[Abdul-Curim]

in Amerikka to marry your cousin is like marrying your sister....while sleeping with someone you are not married to is called "making love" and the silver screen prostitution is called "the adult industry"

Amerikkans are really pious, aren't they?

they should remove "In God We Trust" from their bills and replace it with "Hypocrisy is A Must"

:rotfl:

[Bubblegoose]

in Amerikka to marry your cousin is like marrying your sister....while sleeping with someone you are not married to is called "making love" and the silver screen prostitution is called "the adult industry"

Amerikkans are really pious, aren't they?

they should remove "In God We Trust" from their bills and replace it with "Hypocrisy is A Must"

Well said.