View Full Version : for you married brothers out there
a controversial one here.... are you married brothers content with just one wife?? :D
Muslim19
30-07-02, 08:14 PM
Originally posted by seven
a controversial one here.... are you married brothers content with just one wife??
I'm the first to vote and i'm proud of it. Support of it (Marrying again).
You must be reading my mind. I griefed so much for the Ummah to deprive herself from what Allah(swt) has made permissable. Of cause it is not automatic, everything in Islam in based on Knowledge and the condition of the fulfilment of the Hudud (Laws of Allah) and Conditions of Marriage.
How are wish... Ya Allahu You know best.
Muslim19
30-07-02, 08:28 PM
Insha Allah, I forget to say Insha Allah, Insha Allah!
I'm in fact, insha Allah, seeking a second marriage. Please the Ummah pray for me to be a blessing to me and you.
Ya Wakil be our strange and Patron on this and many crucial issues that needs Your dire attention, inspite of us (Muslims). Amin thumma Amin!!!
StickyPeas
30-07-02, 09:14 PM
lol... sorry (i voted) was jus really really curious ;)
AbuMubarak
30-07-02, 10:56 PM
one can be content with one wife and still see a sister to marry
Muslim19
31-07-02, 07:35 AM
Originally posted by AbuMubarak
one can be content with one wife and still see a sister to marry
Exactly. Alhamdullillah!
we still have to understand on thing. That is how we do take the Commandments of Allah (swt), take for example Iqra! (Read), first revelation sent down to Hadrat Muhammad (saw), the slave and messenger of Allah. Yet do we (Muslim) honour this Commandment, if we have, then the present sad and unfortunate state of the Ummah will not have happen.
We will be forerunners to Knowledge, Advancement, Peace & Security, and proper Heirs to Prophet Muhammad (saw), worthy Ambassadors to Allah (swt).
The Abuse and Neglect of the ayats of the Noble Qur'ăn led to the lack of understanding (Fiqh) of Modern Marriage and appreciation of solutions provided by Islam.
I hope you're following? Any ideas?
AbuMubarak
22-08-02, 06:34 PM
i came back to this post to see what the votes were, but i am suprised that not many voted
is everyone married already?
brothers all maxed out?
Muslim19
22-08-02, 07:16 PM
Originally posted by AbuMubarak
i came back to this post to see what the votes were, but i am suprised that not many voted
is everyone married already?
brothers all maxed out?
I'm wondering too.
Marriage now has become another jihad (striving). On serious note at the rate brothers are killed around the world more than the womenfolks is alarming. The sum total of all the killings that is.
Thus, marrying again and again will improve matters.
Sorry sisters not out of disrespect, but encourage it. ;)
And men please honour the Nisaa with respect and love, so that you can earn the Good Pleasure of Allah(SWT).
I'm working on mine, insha'Allah. May Allah(SWT) bless our good intentions and give us victory mubin.
Amin!!!
Interesting post.. ;) :insha: whenever I get married I may be in a better position to add my opinion to the poll .. but the rest of the brothers can surely contribute..
c'mon brothers, marriage is not that bad. You must wrk at it like you would wrk at anything. Allah has given us common sense, we must use it. Not mis use it by allowing the women to think you are the "MEN" of the house.
Sabar and you will get your fruit, Inshah-allah.
abu yusaf
07-02-05, 09:53 PM
I'm affraid we will fall short of the noble sahaba who not only married several wives, but also had concubines too!
no stamina that's whaT I say
Mary Carol
07-02-05, 11:16 PM
Good thing the Noble Sahaba had the means.
In these times the Muslims have to remember that additional wives bring additional responsibilities.
Such a task is not to be entered upon lightly since a family is a huge responsibility.
More than one family is not as easy as it seems.
I see no reason why a person would need or want more then one wife.
BubbleGum
08-02-05, 03:46 AM
I see no reason why a person would need or want more then one wife.
Interesting. I saw an episode of 'Nature' many years ago profiling a family in Central West Africa. In an interview with the wife she openly complained about her lazy husband who was not ambitious and successful enough to acquire a second wife. With her three kids and so many chores needed to be done, she felt she deserved the extra help.
Perhaps there are some who "Didn't want a second wife but my first wife made me get one."?
~Bub
"Didn't want a second wife but my first wife made me get one."?
Do you know are women who actually believe to have more wives is better because in this case they are exempt to see the husband face the whole day:scratch:
:evilb:
Siddiqa
08-02-05, 05:25 AM
Oooooooo!
Controversy... controversy... fav topic of the brothers, much to the dismay of the sisters ;)
Hey! Can I vote? :P
Songbird
08-02-05, 05:28 AM
Oooooooo!
Controversy... controversy... fav topic of the brothers, much to the dismay of the sisters ;)
Hey! Can I vote? :PLol, erm, nope missy, coz you iz da wrong gender!
Cheeky girl!
Siddiqa
08-02-05, 05:33 AM
Lol, erm, nope missy, coz you iz da wrong gender!
Cheeky girl!
Awwww.... shucks!!!! :(
Spoilt sports! :freedom:
ze leetle elper
08-02-05, 07:46 AM
Why was this poll not public? :p
Songbird
08-02-05, 07:56 AM
Maybe coz your hubby initiated it and he don't want YOU to know his answer? :P
I am more troubled by the last option:
"I don't know.... still working on the first wife! " - What should i understand by this?? its a kind of tame of the lion:scratch:
moshyman
08-02-05, 08:11 AM
Don't people sleep these days?:eek2:
Don't people sleep these days?:eek2:Why are you asking this?
moshyman
08-02-05, 08:13 AM
Coz im bored and tired and stuff...:rolleyes:
The married life is the culprit for "bored and tired"?
moshyman
08-02-05, 08:20 AM
I have no idea...
Actually I do...
Uni is the cause...
outlandish
08-02-05, 09:53 AM
I'm wondering too.
Marriage now has become another jihad (striving). On serious note at the rate brothers are killed around the world more than the womenfolks is alarming. The sum total of all the killings that is.
Thus, marrying again and again will improve matters.
Sorry sisters not out of disrespect, but encourage it. ;)
marrying again and again will improve matters?Sure we wont do much to stop the killings but we will marry again and again.
about this sunnah all are so eager to implement,but when asked about fardh like going on jihad,get excuses in return...
If a man thinks he can treat his wives equally in terms of finance and spending time (and the other numerous things required to mke a marriage work) then good fr him.
I definitely dnt envy him!!!
Ws
back in my married days i use to beg my husband to get a second wife who was a good housekeeper, and a good cook, so that i can come home to a clean house and a prepared meal at night! she should also be rich, and live in a big house, so that we can move there after the marriage! lol
:up:
Interesting. I saw an episode of 'Nature' many years ago profiling a family in Central West Africa. In an interview with the wife she openly complained about her lazy husband who was not ambitious and successful enough to acquire a second wife. With her three kids and so many chores needed to be done, she felt she deserved the extra help.
Perhaps there are some who "Didn't want a second wife but my first wife made me get one."?
~Bub
Chained_Water
08-02-05, 06:31 PM
Zydee.. did you remember to tell him that she has to be unattractive and obese too? ..oh and hairy
:banan:
she'd be the dream co-wife ;)
Czar II
08-02-05, 11:51 PM
Am not married, I wouldn't mind more then one I suppose if she agreed!
imagine if all 4 wives fell pregnant simultaneously
Muslimah1210
09-02-05, 02:21 AM
Salams,
lol, you guys are cracking me up proper.
walaikum salaam wr wb.
imran1976
09-02-05, 04:36 AM
salams,
well yesterday i don't know what happened to my wife, she was askin me imran do u want to have a 2nd wifehttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_213.gifhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif
Chained_Water
09-02-05, 04:46 AM
She probably wanted to hear you say no and tell her she's all you need etc.
Take a hint bro! :)
Mr_Jailer
09-02-05, 05:53 AM
She wanted him to say yes so she can get some peace and quiet :freedom: .
Supernova Nebula
09-02-05, 07:46 AM
Just a personal opinion. Im not going to interpret the verse on polygamy as I'm not qualified to do so, a verse well-known among brothers especially, and I believe so many brothers memorize it:rolleyes: . It just that I would say that brothers who have the intention to marry more than one, to think about this matter fairly, properly and far-sightedly. I'm just afraid what is sunnah will become fitna, when u marry another woman, neglect the first one and the children, put them in difficult situation - this is what I call as Zulm that u commit upon them, remember that your wife and your children are amanah. Fine, if your first wife and you have no problem with the polygamy issue, may Allah reward her for having strong iman. But if u dont have the means to do so, not even can afford to support one family, better stay away from it and be content with one family. True, Allah is the Provider, but dont take this as a plain justification to marry more than one. One Sahabah ra was reprimanded by Abu Bakr ra (it was him if i'm not mistaken) for his blind trust in Allah.
I know few women in real life whose husbands have more than one wives, subhanaLlah their lives are upside down, if not the first one was divorced, the children neglected not having enough father's love they become rebellious and problematic children, fail in their studies, some hate their fathers so much and become abusive. True however, there are cases where polygamy is a bless. True, polygamy is sunnah, but is not the only sunnah, they are many other sunnah for brothers to practice inshaAllah.
P/s: Most women wish to be the first and the last;)
moshyman
09-02-05, 07:52 AM
You cannot marry another wife without the prior consent of the first. Plus, you have to treat them all equally, both financially and emotionally. If you do not have the means, then you cannot marry another wife.
imran1976
09-02-05, 09:09 AM
You cannot marry another wife without the prior consent of the first.
is that your personal view point???
moshyman
09-02-05, 09:11 AM
no, Islamic
imran1976
09-02-05, 09:15 AM
no, Islamic
Please can u explain this in the light of Quran & Sunnah!!!
yes, polygamy is great. Marry many and have a great time. Really, how could u live with just one lady? Seriously, there should be at least 6 minimum. One for each different occasion.
If you want to see what type of ladies are best for different situations, i suggest u visit www.supercars.net (http://www.supercars.net)
moshyman
09-02-05, 09:40 AM
Tut tut, get outta here...
yes, polygamy is great. Marry many and have a great time. Really, how could u live with just one lady? Seriously, there should be at least 6 minimum. One for each different occasion.
If you want to see what type of ladies are best for different situations, i suggest u visit www.supercars.net (http://www.supercars.net)
I'll let you bring out the statistics of extra-marital affairs in the West and the rate of divorces because of these - and I'll also let you tell how many of the mistresses have any rights under the law?
I can tell exactly why the men feel the need to be with more women, i heard this on discovery but only if you will not be offended:D
moshyman
09-02-05, 10:01 AM
I think one is enough for me...:inlove:
I will not tell you than because i would not like to be criticized :D Even if was discovery theory,not mine.
Mary Carol
09-02-05, 11:01 AM
Don't polls belong in The Polling Station?
http://www.ummah.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=106
I can tell exactly why the men feel the need to be with more women, i heard this on discovery but only if you will not be offended:D
dont worry,i wanna know wat the theory is
:evilb: ok i will tell them but you have request it:evilb:
According with the theory:
Men have some primary instincts which cannot be kept in rein. Like other living species, they feel the need to pro-create, to transmit their genes to more and more generation through the childrens. For that need more and more women. One can ensure only a certain type of children, from more will be more kind of childrens. This need make them to search more women, even if for one night, one month. In practice, we can see that how often the man step in the bulb and from the mistress upto x women we can find in his portofolio. Are men even proud of this conquests.
Now off course that is written in their genes, they are doing this even if in the daily life we can't see the childrens because often they are aborted or they took measures to avoid the children. The men behaviour is very close to the animal behaviour from this point of view and because of this you will not see often that fidelity.
Muslim girl they compared the men behaviour with the same of an animal, to be more exactly.
:evilb:
Upto here is the theory. I was agreed with that because :
1.I have noticed how men loves the war. Even if we could live together in peace, unfortunately, because of men, the women need to suffer and try to understand why the cat we don't have peace, why we can't understand each other? Is another animal instinct, the warrior instinct, but if the animal is only protecting the teritory and hunting for food, men are doing that only for their x reasons.
2.Are men who succeed to understand their woman, are this men too ,even if we met them so rare in the real life, they are living somewhere and, if they can understand their wife judgement it means they will try the best don't go around with other women or even to propose them another wife.
But this men firstly need to read Outlandish thread and after admit the women actually have grown a brain and they are not walking sins. We have our pride, our feelings and they cannot step on daily basis on them.
:evilb: ok i will tell them but you have request it:evilb:
According with the theory:
Men have some primary instincts which cannot be kept in rein. Like other living species, they feel the need to pro-create, to transmit their genes to more and more generation through the childrens. For that need more and more women. One can ensure only a certain type of children, from more will be more kind of childrens. This need make them to search more women, even if for one night, one month. In practice, we can see that how often the man step in the bulb and from the mistress upto x women we can find in his portofolio. Are men even proud of this conquests.
Now off course that is written in their genes, they are doing this even if in the daily life we can't see the childrens because often they are aborted or they took measures to avoid the children. The men behaviour is very close to the animal behaviour from this point of view and because of this you will not see often that fidelity.
Muslim girl they compared the men behaviour with the same of an animal, to be more exactly.
:evilb:
Upto here is the theory. I was agreed with that because :
1.I have noticed how men loves the war. Even if we could live together in peace, unfortunately, because of men, the women need to suffer and try to understand why the cat we don't have peace, why we can't understand each other? Is another animal instinct, the warrior instinct, but if the animal is only protecting the teritory and hunting for food, men are doing that only for their x reasons.
2.Are men who succeed to understand their woman, are this men too ,even if we met them so rare in the real life, they are living somewhere and, if they can understand their wife judgement it means they will try the best don't go around with other women or even to propose them another wife.
But this men firstly need to read Outlandish thread and after admit the women actually have grown a brain and they are not walking sins. We have our pride, our feelings and they cannot step on daily basis on them.
yep, think u got it down to a t there sis, but it dont mean we gotta except it!!!!!!!
What do you try to say me:scratch:
What do you try to say me:scratch:
i said,i think u are corecct in what u are saying but that us ladies do not have to be happy with the way the men behave do we, we have a right to be upset,angry if they go behind our backs and have other women!
Slayeress_
09-02-05, 03:02 PM
i hate men who play
Now depends, that depend of each woman,there is a no common recipe. Each woman feels in other way, some are not affected and are quite happy to see him less.
Slayeress_
09-02-05, 03:08 PM
well...........u only know if ur married innit.
im not. so i guess i cant judge
Yuo have right but a wrong step could destroy your entire life:(
Slayeress_
09-02-05, 03:14 PM
im not getting married
One day you will:),no?
But i wrote in this thread because i saw how proud are they, how they like to tease us, about the 2,3,4 wife. I would not be so sure about this tragedy, that depend from woman to woman.
im not getting married
trust me,i been married and u dont know what ur missing,u will soon change ur mind when the right person comes along!
May be should have a thread where the married people could give advice to the not married one. Learn from them.:)
May be should have a thread where the married people could give advice to the not married one. Learn from them.:)
care to give us some advice then sis Amal? :D
May be should have a thread where the married people could give advice to the not married one. Learn from them.:)
sorry sis WAS married,that is (not in it thru no fault of my own may i add!) but yeah i got a few things to say on da topic!!!
outlandish
09-02-05, 07:32 PM
I'll let you bring out the statistics of extra-marital affairs in the West and the rate of divorces because of these - and I'll also let you tell how many of the mistresses have any rights under the law?sorry brother but we have our own problems too,go to the arab countries like dubai etc,men do have 4 wifes there,but coz the women get neglected they have other friends as well that keep them happy.
polygamy has not been practised properly and such things happen,its been made such a joke by such men whom cant practise it properly,and only know that islam allows 4 wifes,but dont know all the other things that they have to adhere to when they have 4 wifes. Islam provides a solution for all things in the social structure,as and when situation requires,when there are more women they have to cared for by someone,since men are the caretakers. I have a hard time believing that polygamy is just coz men cant be satisfied with one, and this is mostly the reason men use to marry,ignoring women whom really need their support. Wasnt it sunnah as well to marry divorces,than why are always the young ones opted when men go for another wife?
It never was a must,nor recommended,than why always sooo much tress on it,as if trying to make it a must. Isnt that like changing things in islam as well,which we always condemn soo much whenever someone tries changing something in the Quran?
im not getting married
good on ya!
muslimah85
30-09-06, 05:17 PM
Lol @ thread
what does br seven have to say about this issue now? :p
Lol @ thread
what does br seven have to say about this issue now? :p
Why are you bumping up such an old thread? :rubeyes:
was it you bumping all these threads? thats so childish :rubeyes:
muslimah85
30-09-06, 05:22 PM
Why are you bumping up such an old thread? :rubeyes:
was it you bumping all these threads? thats so childish :rubeyes:
s0meone else bumped it :confused:
cos I saw it in new posts?
~Heart4Islaam~
30-09-06, 05:26 PM
Make dua for me i am engaged :D
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