View Full Version : Women seeking divorce without justification.
The Strategist
09-07-05, 07:45 AM
In Islam divorce has been strongly discouraged. Men seeking divorce are usually given counsel against the idea, even in circumstances where the wife has made the marriage truly difficult. For a woman to seek divorce usually is much more difficult. Unless she can establish that a man is sexually impotent, a drug addict or an abusive tyrant, divorce just for the heck of it is just not a possibility.
However, in the West, new legislation in most countries after the Womens' Lib of the 70s, has made divorce possible without establishing blame. Either party claiming that the marriage has irretrievably broken down is sufficient. As a result, divorces have become a common 'no big deal' phenomenon. The impact of this trend has had its consequences on Muslims too, not just in the West, but elsewhere as well.
The consequences of divorce can be horrendous. That ahadith say that a divorce shakes the Throne of Allah is a sufficient indication to any Muslim about the undesirability of the option. In the West, divorces are not only easy but the consequences are highly favourable for women. The man is always seen as the villain and the woman a victim, even if she is an adulterous characterless tart who has been squarely responsible for the split.
Such women, not only walk away with half the man's assets, but also the children and everything else the man has worked for, all his life. Though technically a woman cannot be divorced without establishing good reason, most decent men would allow such wannabe divorcee women have their way, if they persist in their desire to quit the marriage.
If a simple theft is punishable in Islam with the chopping of hands (or fingers) for an unrepentant thief, what should be the punishment for such women who divorce from their husbands without a valid justification ?
If a simple theft is punishable in Islam with the chopping of hands (or fingers) for an unrepentant thief, what should be the punishment for such women who divorce from their husbands without a valid justification ?
First of all, i think you based your thread on few cases what you have heard.
We should begin your thread with what we understand by "valid justification" and "tyran". People might react differently at the same issue.
For me a tyran its a man who is abusing me with words, (through what he says),its really not necessary to make karate on my bones.
0 woman would divorce when the things are pink.
The Strategist
09-07-05, 12:07 PM
First of all, i think you based your thread on few cases what you have heard.
We should begin your thread with what we understand by "valid justification" and "tyran". People might react differently at the same issue.
For me a tyran its a man who is abusing me with words, (through what he says),its really not necessary to make karate on my bones.
0 woman would divorce when the things are pink.
Though this might sound far fetched, there have been hundreds of cases where Muslim women have left one man for another, just because what he seemed to offer was 'pinkier' that the 'pink' she already had.
What should we do with such women, who have made such a mockery of the institution of marriage?
Did you talk with them? Its their statement:"i leave my husband because the big X has more money? or other things?"
To pronounce a divorce in my country you need to say more than that. Even in muslims countries, the man its enough to say 3 times i divorce you, but the woman need to fight to can obtain it.
The Strategist
09-07-05, 04:09 PM
Did you talk with them? Its their statement:"i leave my husband because the big X has more money? or other things?"
To pronounce a divorce in my country you need to say more than that. Even in muslims countries, the man its enough to say 3 times i divorce you, but the woman need to fight to can obtain it.
The thread seeks a discussion on how such women should be looked upon.
You seem to question the fact that such divorces ever happen. Well, take it from me, I have seen some very closely.
It might be enough for a man to say 'I divorce you' three times in some countries. In some other Muslim countries, it is much more difficult than that for a man to get divorce. For example with the Shia the man has to have two just witnesses before the divorce can come into effect.
But all the above is not the point. The point here is, is it fair for a woman to walk out on a man and seek a union with a wealthier man? And if any woman does this, how should she be treated? Should she be allowed to walk away with the fact that she has broken a family for a selfish reason?
why is it the woman has to be at fault?
The Strategist
10-07-05, 04:29 AM
why is it the woman has to be at fault?
Not saying that she has to be at fault. The question is: What if she IS at fault?
lonely_me
10-07-05, 06:02 AM
Who can really tell when or if she is at fault? Sometimes women get hurt psychologically speaking and know for sure that they cannot go on with such a husband...now he may not see a problem with his attitude and can never imagine the reasons why she's asking for divorce. People too may not realise the situation and would start to blame the woman, yet only the wife feels it, because she's the one hurt, the one abused so to speak. That doesn't make a monster out of her. It's better to ask for divorce than live a life where she has to pretend and perhaps decieve her husband. If she stays with a husband whom she cannot tolerate, love, or accept then that more of a mental adultry on her side as she may start to think of other men and stuff...
Two, If a woman asks for divorce without any justification then I guess the answer to your question is in this hadith:
"if a woman asks for a divorce for no reason will never smell the scent of paradise"
Isn't that enough punishment?!
Finally, trust me... divorce is such a horrible thing and no sane woman would ever seek it unless it's her last option... I repeat 'sane'.
The Strategist
10-07-05, 06:12 AM
Two, If a woman asks for divorce without any justification then I guess the answer to your question is in this hadith:
"if a woman asks for a divorce for no reason will never smell the scent of paradise"
Isn't that enough punishment?!
Finally, trust me... divorce is such a horrible thing and no sane woman would ever seek it unless it's her last option... I repeat 'sane'.
I guess you have answered the question. That is indeed enough punishment. Have known cases where women, apparently sane, but perhaps insane in fact, have sought and got divorces from decent men and married rogue manipulative misfits and broken their families.
Rare perhaps, but seen it happen.
lonely_me
10-07-05, 06:17 AM
It happened, happens and will always happen... We're human beings, we err, we regret and eventually we pay a real high price for that.
The Strategist
10-07-05, 01:18 PM
It happened, happens and will always happen... We're human beings, we err, we regret and eventually we pay a real high price for that.
Wise words.
I still consider you should look at mens faults before to judge a woman. Because if Lonely me mentioned about hell for women i have no clue which place should be make for mens to can pay for womens suffering.
serious
11-07-05, 07:08 AM
I think some times there are reasons we do not see as a major and sensible by just focusing at what we think is the only giant reasons
A man can be kind and generous to his wife but he lacks very minor activity that makes the wife dislike him and even wish the divorce
The reasons might not be of the same implication to every couple. what one sees is a chief might be a minor to the other and what one needs from his spouse can also fluctuate, hence any reason for a divorce has a reasonable base
Well I am talking about the most people and not very rare weird cases any way however
Patience is needed before it takes place for any reason untill it becomes the only option
:)
The Strategist
11-07-05, 07:09 AM
I still consider you should look at mens faults before to judge a woman. Because if Lonely me mentioned about hell for women i have no clue which place should be make for mens to can pay for womens suffering.
That is precisely the social attitude I am questioning. It is the man who is blamed by default. No matter what the woman does. Always.
The Strategist
11-07-05, 07:13 AM
I think some times there are reasons we do not see as a major and sensible by just focusing at what we think is the only giant reasons
A man can be kind and generous to his wife but he lacks very minor activity that makes the wife dislike him and even wish the divorce
The reasons might not be of the same implication to every couple. what one sees is a chief might be a minor to the other and what one needs from his spouse can also fluctuate, hence any reason for a divorce has a reasonable base
Well I am talking about the most people and not very rare weird cases any way however
Patience is needed before it takes place for any reason untill it becomes the only option
:)
Divorce is the last option and the most hated option. Unless the issues are blatantly serious, there is no excuse for either a man or a woman to destroy a sacred institution just for their selfish excuses.
That is precisely the social attitude I am questioning. It is the man who is blamed by default. No matter what the woman does. Always.
Trust me 99% from cases the man is guilty.A gentle, caring man would make his wife happy, even if the budget is minor. The rich family are not always happy, i want to say the money doesn't bring the happiness.
Wife always struggle to keep her family but unfortunatelly ...mens:rolleyes:
serious
11-07-05, 09:00 AM
...mens:rolleyes:
mara there is difference between men and male
so do you want to say males ?
i do agree
mara there is difference between men and male
so do you want to say males ?
i do agree
Do you see a diference between males and mens? The hormons and their ego are always the same.
Where is the difference?
serious
11-07-05, 08:42 PM
Yes the difference is when we say man it is both man's deed and the gender together in one person
but a male just by holding males gender is not a man if he has not the real charactersitic of a man and we see such examples these days
for example if a man uses his musles against his wife he is a male and not man etc...
lonely_me
11-07-05, 08:56 PM
Mira:
Because if Lonely me mentioned about hell for women
Sweetie, that's based on a hadith
..
... and I don't recall a hadith that talks about men in such a situation. Perhaps there is one that I'm not acquainted with....who knows.. Allahu a'alam...
Besides, 99% of men are guilty??? hmmm...wonder why then 2/3 of the 'inhabitants' of hell are 'women'!? * a rhetorical question* .
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