islamic_circles
17-05-05, 08:40 AM
Islamic Circles Presents:
BENGALI MUSLIM MARRIAGE EVENT
Date: Saturday 21st May 2005
Time: 2pm - 6pm
Venue: Jagonari Centre, 183-185 Whitechapel Road, London, E1 1DW
Aponi kimba aponar chele othoba meyer biyer bepare bhabsen?
Tahole aj'i amader shathe jugajuj korun ..
Afne kiba afnar fuwa ba furir biyar khotha cintha khorrai ni?
Te ayz amrar loge zugazug khoroin jano ..
Invited guests include: Maulana Abul Hussain (East London Mosque),
Br Abu Muntasir Ali (JIMAS), Hafiz Hasan Ali (Dewsbury),
Br Shahnawaz Haque (Psychotherapist)
Looking for a suitable spouse has been a difficulty that many
Muslims have been facing in the UK. This problem has become
especially acute in recent years with rising divorce rates,
fear of differences, lack of family contacts, career pressures
and an ongoing struggle to live as Muslims by striking a healthy
balance between cultural and contextual values. Marriage events
are one of the few efforts being made to deal with this issue.
However, not enough is being done, and mosques and Islamic
organisations are failing to address what is increasingly
becoming a serious problem.
Despite making up a significant proportion of the UK's Muslim
population, research and experience has shown that Bengalis are
much less likely to attend matrimonial events of the format that
have been arranged so far. There are a number of social and
cultural reasons behind this. For this reason, an event has been
organised specifically for Muslims originating from Bangladesh
or West Bengal. This will be an opportunity for brothers and
sisters to meet in a halal environment. Parents and guardians
are strongly recommended to attend.
People of all statuses are welcome, especially those who are
divorced. Discussions will cover issues affecting Bengalis in
particular, e.g. staying with in-laws, cooking fish, living
in a Council flat or a house, ageism (kuri'te buri hoye jai,
tiri'she dat pore jai!), taboos against divorcees, etc.
Pre-registration is required. No booking means strictly no entry.
This event is not for those who have overstayed their student
visas or are looking to gain residency. Only British citizens,
permanent residents, and their guardians are welcome.
DEADLINE FOR BOOKING: WEDNESDAY 18TH MAY 2005
For more information please contact:
Tel: 07092 032 136 / 07092 032 763
E-mail: marriage@islamiccircles.org / islamic_matrimonials@yahoo.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------
FAQ about the Bengali Muslim Marriage Event
Please read these notes carefully before deciding on whether to come to the event.
1. What will happen on the day? Will there be introductions? How does the system work?
This marriage event is not meant to be a series of talks or a seminar. It is expected that those who attend will be actively looking to get married or be an accompanying family member of someone who is. Insha'Allah the emphasis will be on solutions and getting people together rather than simply analysing the problems.
A person who is interested in participating in the event will be sent a profile form requesting basic details, including personality, interests and characteristics sought in a spouse. Once a participant has sent in their completed form, a simple card profile will be created using the main points within the form. These cards will be on display throughout the event. A brother or sister who is interested in a particular profile will contact the designated profile facilitators, normally a married brother or sister, who will try to arrange a brief meeting at an appropriate time during the event or make a note of the query so that a proper follow up can be organised after the event. Similarly, if someone would like to enquire about a person whom they or their parents have noticed during the event, they will also be able to contact one of the profile facilitators and take things from there.
2. Do I have to attend the discussion session? Yes it is compulsory. There are two main objectives for this event. Firstly, to openly discuss and find solutions to the problems being faced by Muslims in getting married. Secondly, to give people the opportunity to meet one another in an Islamic manner within a stress-free setting. You are either part of the problem by being selfish and not participating, or you are part of the solution by getting involved. This event is not for armchair critics and philosophers.
3. Will lunch be provided? No, because this will slow down the day and past experience has shown that a lot of unnecessary mess is created due to lack of table manners. Participants are encouraged to have lunch before coming to the event or they may bring their own lunch. However, light refreshments will be available throughout the day, i.e. fruit juices, tea, coffee, biscuits, etc. This is not a wedding party but we hope that many weddings take place after this!
4. I can’t bring my parents or a mahram, and I don’t have anyone who can influence them, can I bring a friend instead? No, irrespective of the situation. You need to try harder. Once you get married your friend will not be holding your hand all your life. One needs to grow up and deal with the issues in an appropriate way. If you are divorced, a widower, or your parents are deceased, then these conditions would not necessarily apply. However, we highly recommend that you come alone or bring someone who is married. Exceptions can be made in the case of disability or other genuine circumstances.
5. Why do I have to bring a passport or proof of ID? This is due to security reasons and to prove who you really are. Marriage is a serious and sensitive matter and we do not want the event to degenerate into a cattle market for red passports.
6. Is there a charge and why? We are not a large organisation or profit-making venture and have hired rooms in a centre, which costs money. In order to pay for the hire charges and other related costs there will be an entry fee of £5. Given that other marriage events are charging up to £50 or more, and bearing in mind that the average costs for weddings often go into the thousands, £5 is very reasonable for a community based project.
7. Is there a deadline for bookings? The deadline is Wednesday 18th May 2005. No more bookings will be accepted after this date. The entry fee is to be paid in cash on the day. All cancellations must be made by Wednesday 18th May, after which there will be a cancellation fee.
8. Will there be segregation? This is not an Islamic talk or conference - it is a marriage event where one of the main objectives is to help people find suitable spouses in an Islamic way.
9. When will I get a chance to see and speak to other participants? After the general discussion you will have the opportunity to meet others. Meetings are to be arranged through the designated profile facilitators.
10. If I wear niqab will I have to take it off? No, this is entirely your choice.
11. I feel that I am not practicing, can I still come? Of course you can - you are more than welcome. We would rather you participated in this event than have to meet a partner in a place of potential vice.
12. What should I wear on the day? Wear whatever you feel most comfortable with. Although this is not an interview or a wedding, first impressions do count so it’s definitely worth making some effort.
13. My parents have difficulty understanding English. Are there any arrangements for this? Yes, all speakers are able to speak Bengali as well as most of the volunteers who will be helping out on the day.
14. Anyone arriving after 2.30pm will not be allowed into the event, irrespective of the distance travelled or whether a booking has been made in advance. Those who come early may get a chance to meet other participants in the presence of profile facilitators. All participants are required to stay for the whole programme.
15. Please make your own travel and accommodation arrangements, especially if you are coming from outside London.
16. Profile cards will contain basic information without disclosing your name or contact details. No photos will be displayed on the profiles. You will be given a unique reference number identifying you on the day.
17. Unfortunately we do not have crèche facilities. Please do not bring any children and spare us the discomfort of having to turn you away.
18. There will be no refunds, regardless of whether you found someone compatible or not.
19. Full instructions about the format of the event will be given on the day.
20. No audio-visual recording of any form will be permitted during the event and cameras will not be allowed.
21. Prayer facilities will not be provided, as there is a large mosque opposite the venue.
General Etiquettes for the Day
One should first purify their intentions, i.e. to seek the pleasure of Allah by fulfilling one’s obligation to seek a marital partner in a halâl way. It should be treated as a form of ‘ibâdah (worship), so that this will set a precedent for one’s willingness to adhere to Islamic etiquettes throughout the event.
1. Try to be in a state of wudû’.
2. Listen carefully and follow all the instructions set out by the organisers.
3. Forgive the organisers and facilatators for their shortcomings.
4. The best starting point is to recognise that you are a humble servant of Allah who is attending the event because you, like all the other participants, are looking for a spouse, and therefore want to behave in the best of manners.
Etiquettes Before Entering the Main Hall
1. Arrive by 1.45pm at the latest. After 2.30pm a charge of £5 may be levied on latecomers. Insha’Allah we will start on time. Punctuality is seriously lacking amongst Muslims, especially when it comes to Islamic activities. Doors will close by 3pm irrespective of whether one has booked previously or not.
2. Please bring a printout of your confirmation e-mail as proof of your booking. Print your profile card and bring it with you on the day. If you haven’t then you will have a chance to write it by hand. If your handwriting is poor it is not something we can take responsibility for. Profiles will be placed on a board at one side of the hall.
3. Participants will not be allowed to record the event. Anyone found using a recording device will be asked to leave the course and there will be no refund.
4. If you need to use the toilet, try to make sure you do so before the event begins or during the breaks.
5. Payment is by cash only. No payment means no entry to the event.
6. Those who turn up on the day without pre-booking will be declined. Please spare yourself and others the embarrassment and book in advance.
Etiquettes in the Main Hall
1. Fill up the front seats first.
2. Put on your ID badge where people are able to see it clearly.
3. Mobile phones must be switched off or put on silent. If your call is an emergency, raise your hand and one of the organisers will allow you to leave the room to answer the call.
4. Light refreshments will be available, please try not to make a mess.
5. Keep any questions and comments to the allocated discussion session.
6. Please stay in the hall unless you really need to go out. This makes it easier for the profile facilitators to find you if someone has taken an interest in you.
Anyone who is found to be uncooperative or is a nuisance, rude, loud-mouthed or disrespectful towards fellow particpants or organisers will be escorted out with no refund.
General Tips for the Event
1. Be patient at all times. If a profile is being seen to then please wait. Do not leave the event unless you have informed the organisers as we do not want to chase people who are no longer there.
2. We welcome constructive criticism but not cheap attempts at rubbishing the efforts of other Muslims, because these are ultimately of no benefit to the Muslim community or those who are sincerely looking to get married. We need to try all permissible avenues available, including Muslim marriage events.
3. It is important to recognise that finding a suitable spouse is a massive problem for Muslims today. It has to be addressed practically, not just through lectures and seminars about the fiqhi (juristic) nature of marriage and the ideal scenario. Education of the whole community is required, including parents and even the ‘ulamâ who also need to work with social scientists such as marriage counsellors and psychotherapists to find realistic solutions. We hope that the marriage event will be a humble product of this. Such initiatives are new to the community, and they need to be tested within the framework of the Sharî‘ah. It will take time for us to fully understand them but they can only improve if people participate in them, facilitate their organisation, and provide constructive feedback.
Finally, forgive us for adopting a somewhat strong stance and please do not take offence to anything that has been said. It is a response to the behaviour of many ill-mannered “practicing” Muslims, who need to be reminded about things that they really ought to know better.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
We hope you will take up this offer - Jazakumullah Khairan
Wassalaam 'alaikum wa rahmatullaah.
Admin - Islamic Circles
- Islamic Circles is a community-based initiative that has been running at
the Froud Centre since January 2001. We hold Islamic lectures and Arabic
classes on a weekly basis, and also organise with a wide range of regular
events and activities, including short courses, seminars, workshops on
issues relevant to the Muslim community, social gatherings like Eid parties,
matrimonial services and events and much more.
BENGALI MUSLIM MARRIAGE EVENT
Date: Saturday 21st May 2005
Time: 2pm - 6pm
Venue: Jagonari Centre, 183-185 Whitechapel Road, London, E1 1DW
Aponi kimba aponar chele othoba meyer biyer bepare bhabsen?
Tahole aj'i amader shathe jugajuj korun ..
Afne kiba afnar fuwa ba furir biyar khotha cintha khorrai ni?
Te ayz amrar loge zugazug khoroin jano ..
Invited guests include: Maulana Abul Hussain (East London Mosque),
Br Abu Muntasir Ali (JIMAS), Hafiz Hasan Ali (Dewsbury),
Br Shahnawaz Haque (Psychotherapist)
Looking for a suitable spouse has been a difficulty that many
Muslims have been facing in the UK. This problem has become
especially acute in recent years with rising divorce rates,
fear of differences, lack of family contacts, career pressures
and an ongoing struggle to live as Muslims by striking a healthy
balance between cultural and contextual values. Marriage events
are one of the few efforts being made to deal with this issue.
However, not enough is being done, and mosques and Islamic
organisations are failing to address what is increasingly
becoming a serious problem.
Despite making up a significant proportion of the UK's Muslim
population, research and experience has shown that Bengalis are
much less likely to attend matrimonial events of the format that
have been arranged so far. There are a number of social and
cultural reasons behind this. For this reason, an event has been
organised specifically for Muslims originating from Bangladesh
or West Bengal. This will be an opportunity for brothers and
sisters to meet in a halal environment. Parents and guardians
are strongly recommended to attend.
People of all statuses are welcome, especially those who are
divorced. Discussions will cover issues affecting Bengalis in
particular, e.g. staying with in-laws, cooking fish, living
in a Council flat or a house, ageism (kuri'te buri hoye jai,
tiri'she dat pore jai!), taboos against divorcees, etc.
Pre-registration is required. No booking means strictly no entry.
This event is not for those who have overstayed their student
visas or are looking to gain residency. Only British citizens,
permanent residents, and their guardians are welcome.
DEADLINE FOR BOOKING: WEDNESDAY 18TH MAY 2005
For more information please contact:
Tel: 07092 032 136 / 07092 032 763
E-mail: marriage@islamiccircles.org / islamic_matrimonials@yahoo.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------
FAQ about the Bengali Muslim Marriage Event
Please read these notes carefully before deciding on whether to come to the event.
1. What will happen on the day? Will there be introductions? How does the system work?
This marriage event is not meant to be a series of talks or a seminar. It is expected that those who attend will be actively looking to get married or be an accompanying family member of someone who is. Insha'Allah the emphasis will be on solutions and getting people together rather than simply analysing the problems.
A person who is interested in participating in the event will be sent a profile form requesting basic details, including personality, interests and characteristics sought in a spouse. Once a participant has sent in their completed form, a simple card profile will be created using the main points within the form. These cards will be on display throughout the event. A brother or sister who is interested in a particular profile will contact the designated profile facilitators, normally a married brother or sister, who will try to arrange a brief meeting at an appropriate time during the event or make a note of the query so that a proper follow up can be organised after the event. Similarly, if someone would like to enquire about a person whom they or their parents have noticed during the event, they will also be able to contact one of the profile facilitators and take things from there.
2. Do I have to attend the discussion session? Yes it is compulsory. There are two main objectives for this event. Firstly, to openly discuss and find solutions to the problems being faced by Muslims in getting married. Secondly, to give people the opportunity to meet one another in an Islamic manner within a stress-free setting. You are either part of the problem by being selfish and not participating, or you are part of the solution by getting involved. This event is not for armchair critics and philosophers.
3. Will lunch be provided? No, because this will slow down the day and past experience has shown that a lot of unnecessary mess is created due to lack of table manners. Participants are encouraged to have lunch before coming to the event or they may bring their own lunch. However, light refreshments will be available throughout the day, i.e. fruit juices, tea, coffee, biscuits, etc. This is not a wedding party but we hope that many weddings take place after this!
4. I can’t bring my parents or a mahram, and I don’t have anyone who can influence them, can I bring a friend instead? No, irrespective of the situation. You need to try harder. Once you get married your friend will not be holding your hand all your life. One needs to grow up and deal with the issues in an appropriate way. If you are divorced, a widower, or your parents are deceased, then these conditions would not necessarily apply. However, we highly recommend that you come alone or bring someone who is married. Exceptions can be made in the case of disability or other genuine circumstances.
5. Why do I have to bring a passport or proof of ID? This is due to security reasons and to prove who you really are. Marriage is a serious and sensitive matter and we do not want the event to degenerate into a cattle market for red passports.
6. Is there a charge and why? We are not a large organisation or profit-making venture and have hired rooms in a centre, which costs money. In order to pay for the hire charges and other related costs there will be an entry fee of £5. Given that other marriage events are charging up to £50 or more, and bearing in mind that the average costs for weddings often go into the thousands, £5 is very reasonable for a community based project.
7. Is there a deadline for bookings? The deadline is Wednesday 18th May 2005. No more bookings will be accepted after this date. The entry fee is to be paid in cash on the day. All cancellations must be made by Wednesday 18th May, after which there will be a cancellation fee.
8. Will there be segregation? This is not an Islamic talk or conference - it is a marriage event where one of the main objectives is to help people find suitable spouses in an Islamic way.
9. When will I get a chance to see and speak to other participants? After the general discussion you will have the opportunity to meet others. Meetings are to be arranged through the designated profile facilitators.
10. If I wear niqab will I have to take it off? No, this is entirely your choice.
11. I feel that I am not practicing, can I still come? Of course you can - you are more than welcome. We would rather you participated in this event than have to meet a partner in a place of potential vice.
12. What should I wear on the day? Wear whatever you feel most comfortable with. Although this is not an interview or a wedding, first impressions do count so it’s definitely worth making some effort.
13. My parents have difficulty understanding English. Are there any arrangements for this? Yes, all speakers are able to speak Bengali as well as most of the volunteers who will be helping out on the day.
14. Anyone arriving after 2.30pm will not be allowed into the event, irrespective of the distance travelled or whether a booking has been made in advance. Those who come early may get a chance to meet other participants in the presence of profile facilitators. All participants are required to stay for the whole programme.
15. Please make your own travel and accommodation arrangements, especially if you are coming from outside London.
16. Profile cards will contain basic information without disclosing your name or contact details. No photos will be displayed on the profiles. You will be given a unique reference number identifying you on the day.
17. Unfortunately we do not have crèche facilities. Please do not bring any children and spare us the discomfort of having to turn you away.
18. There will be no refunds, regardless of whether you found someone compatible or not.
19. Full instructions about the format of the event will be given on the day.
20. No audio-visual recording of any form will be permitted during the event and cameras will not be allowed.
21. Prayer facilities will not be provided, as there is a large mosque opposite the venue.
General Etiquettes for the Day
One should first purify their intentions, i.e. to seek the pleasure of Allah by fulfilling one’s obligation to seek a marital partner in a halâl way. It should be treated as a form of ‘ibâdah (worship), so that this will set a precedent for one’s willingness to adhere to Islamic etiquettes throughout the event.
1. Try to be in a state of wudû’.
2. Listen carefully and follow all the instructions set out by the organisers.
3. Forgive the organisers and facilatators for their shortcomings.
4. The best starting point is to recognise that you are a humble servant of Allah who is attending the event because you, like all the other participants, are looking for a spouse, and therefore want to behave in the best of manners.
Etiquettes Before Entering the Main Hall
1. Arrive by 1.45pm at the latest. After 2.30pm a charge of £5 may be levied on latecomers. Insha’Allah we will start on time. Punctuality is seriously lacking amongst Muslims, especially when it comes to Islamic activities. Doors will close by 3pm irrespective of whether one has booked previously or not.
2. Please bring a printout of your confirmation e-mail as proof of your booking. Print your profile card and bring it with you on the day. If you haven’t then you will have a chance to write it by hand. If your handwriting is poor it is not something we can take responsibility for. Profiles will be placed on a board at one side of the hall.
3. Participants will not be allowed to record the event. Anyone found using a recording device will be asked to leave the course and there will be no refund.
4. If you need to use the toilet, try to make sure you do so before the event begins or during the breaks.
5. Payment is by cash only. No payment means no entry to the event.
6. Those who turn up on the day without pre-booking will be declined. Please spare yourself and others the embarrassment and book in advance.
Etiquettes in the Main Hall
1. Fill up the front seats first.
2. Put on your ID badge where people are able to see it clearly.
3. Mobile phones must be switched off or put on silent. If your call is an emergency, raise your hand and one of the organisers will allow you to leave the room to answer the call.
4. Light refreshments will be available, please try not to make a mess.
5. Keep any questions and comments to the allocated discussion session.
6. Please stay in the hall unless you really need to go out. This makes it easier for the profile facilitators to find you if someone has taken an interest in you.
Anyone who is found to be uncooperative or is a nuisance, rude, loud-mouthed or disrespectful towards fellow particpants or organisers will be escorted out with no refund.
General Tips for the Event
1. Be patient at all times. If a profile is being seen to then please wait. Do not leave the event unless you have informed the organisers as we do not want to chase people who are no longer there.
2. We welcome constructive criticism but not cheap attempts at rubbishing the efforts of other Muslims, because these are ultimately of no benefit to the Muslim community or those who are sincerely looking to get married. We need to try all permissible avenues available, including Muslim marriage events.
3. It is important to recognise that finding a suitable spouse is a massive problem for Muslims today. It has to be addressed practically, not just through lectures and seminars about the fiqhi (juristic) nature of marriage and the ideal scenario. Education of the whole community is required, including parents and even the ‘ulamâ who also need to work with social scientists such as marriage counsellors and psychotherapists to find realistic solutions. We hope that the marriage event will be a humble product of this. Such initiatives are new to the community, and they need to be tested within the framework of the Sharî‘ah. It will take time for us to fully understand them but they can only improve if people participate in them, facilitate their organisation, and provide constructive feedback.
Finally, forgive us for adopting a somewhat strong stance and please do not take offence to anything that has been said. It is a response to the behaviour of many ill-mannered “practicing” Muslims, who need to be reminded about things that they really ought to know better.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
We hope you will take up this offer - Jazakumullah Khairan
Wassalaam 'alaikum wa rahmatullaah.
Admin - Islamic Circles
- Islamic Circles is a community-based initiative that has been running at
the Froud Centre since January 2001. We hold Islamic lectures and Arabic
classes on a weekly basis, and also organise with a wide range of regular
events and activities, including short courses, seminars, workshops on
issues relevant to the Muslim community, social gatherings like Eid parties,
matrimonial services and events and much more.