The Muslim Home – 40 recommendations

[AbuMubarak]

40 Naseeha Li-Islaah il-Booyout



Book by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Introduction

Bismillaah il-Rahmaan il-Raheem

In the Name of Allaah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

All praise be to Allaah, we praise Him and seek His help and
forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own
selves and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides, no one can
lead astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I
bear witness that there is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner
or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and
Messenger.

The home is a blessing.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And Allaah has made for
you in your homes an abode…" [al-Nahl 16:80]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Here Allaah, may He
be blessed and exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His
slaves: He has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them,
to which they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives them all
kinds of benefits."

What does the home represent to each one of us? Is it not the place
where he eats, enjoys intimacy with his wife, sleeps and rests? Is it
not the place where he can be alone and can meet with his wife and
children?

Is the home not the place that offers cover and protection to women?
Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): "And stay in your
houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of
ignorance…" [al-Ahzaab 33:33]

If you think about those who are homeless, who live in shelters, or
on the streets, or as refugees scattered in temporary camps, then you
will realize the blessing of having a home. If you listen to a
distressed homeless person saying, "I have nowhere to settle, no
fixed place to stay. Sometimes I sleep in so and so's house,
sometimes in a café or park or on the sea-front, and I keep my
clothes in my car", then you will realize the disruption that results
from not having the blessing of a home.

When Allaah punished the Jews of Banu Nadeer, He took away this
blessing and expelled them from their homes, as He said
(interpretation of the meaning): "He it is Who drove out the
disbelievers among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the
tribe of Banu al-Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering."
Then He said: "… they destroyed their own dwellings with their own
hands and the hands of the believers. Then take admonition, O you
with eyes (to see)." [al-Hashr 59:2].

There are many motives for the believer to pay attention to putting
his house in order.

Firstly: protecting himself and his family from the Fire of Hell, and
keeping them safe from the burning punishment: "O you who believe!
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel
is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and)
severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive
from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded." [al-Tahreem 66:6 –
interpretation of the meaning].

Secondly: the great responsibility borne by the head of the household
on the Day of Reckoning.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah
will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock
(those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or
neglected it, until He asks a man about his household."

Thirdly: the home is a place to protect oneself, to keep away from
evil and to keep one's own evil away from people. It is the refuge
prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (strife, tribulation).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Blessed is the one who controls his tongue, whose house is
sufficient for him, and who weeps over his mistakes."

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There
are five things, whoever does one of them, Allaah will be with him:
visiting the sick, going out for jihaad, entering upon his leader
with the intention of rebuking and respecting him , or sitting in his
home so that the people are safe from him and he is safe from the
people."

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The
safety of a man at times of fitnah is in his staying home."

The Muslim can see the benefit of this advice when he is residing in
a foreign land where he is unable to change much of the evil around
him. Then he will have a refuge which, when he enters it, will
protect him from doing haraam things or looking at haraam things, and
will protect his wife from wanton display and unveiling, and will
protect his children from bad company.

Fourthly: people usually spend most of their time at home, especially
when it is very hot or very cold, when it is raining, early or late
in the day, and after finishing work or school, so this time should
be spent in worship and halaal pursuits, otherwise it will be spent
in wrongdoing.

Fifthly and most importantly, paying attention to the home is the
most important means of building a Muslim society, because the
society is formed of the households and families that form its
building blocks. Households form neighbourhoods, and neighbourhoods
form societies. If the building blocks are sound, the society will be
based on the laws of Allaah, standing firm in the face of enemies and
filled with goodness that evil cannot penetrate. Then Muslim homes
will produce pillars of society who will reform and guide it aright,
such as exemplary dai'yahs, seekers of knowledge, sincere
mujaahideen, righteous wives, caring mothers and all other types of
reformers.

Because this subject is so important, and our homes are full of so
many shortcomings and evils and examples of negligence, this begs the
very important question:

What are the means of reforming our homes?

The following contains advice on this topic. May Allaah benefit us
from it, and cause the Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the
Muslim home.

All the following advice revolves around two things: achieving our
interests, which is by establishing that which is right and good, and
warding off evil, by removing that which can cause it or bring it
into our homes.


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Forming the household

Making a good choice when choosing a wife

"And marry those among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no
wife and a woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon
(pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants
(female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His
Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-
Knowing (about the state of the people)." [al-Noor 24:32 –
interpretation of the meaning].

The head of the household must select a righteous and suitable wife
based on the following conditions described in various ahaadeeth:

"A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her
beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your
hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!" (Agreed upon).

"This world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in
this life is a righteous wife." (Reported by Muslim, 1468).

"Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue
[remembering Allaah] and a believing wife who will help him with
regard to the Hereafter." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/282, and al-Tirmidhi
and Ibn Maajah from Thawbaan. Saheeh al-Jaami', 5231).

According to another report: "A righteous wife to help you with your
worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could
have." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi. Saheeh al-Jaami', 4285).

"Marry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud before the
other Prophets of your great numbers on the Day of Resurrection."
(Reported by Ahmad. Saheeh al-Irwa', 6/195).

"I advise you to marry virgins, for their wombs are more fresh, their
mouths are more sweet and they are more content with little."
According to another report: "… and they are less likely to deceive."
(Reported by Ibn Maajah. Al-Silsilah al-Saheeh, 623).

Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so
a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as it says in the
saheeh hadeeth: "One of (the elements of) happiness is a righteous
wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and when you are away,
you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your
property. And one of (the elements of) misery is a bad wife who when
you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and
when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard
to herself and your property."

On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation of
the prospective husband who is proposing marriage to the Muslim
woman, and to agree to his proposal in accordance with the following
conditions:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If
there comes to you one with whose religion and character you are
pleased, then marry your daughter [or sister, etc.] to him, otherwise
there will be fitnah and great corruption in the land."

All of the above must be achieved through asking the right questions,
verifying facts, gathering information and checking sources, so that
the home will not be corrupted or destroyed.

The righteous man and righteous woman together will build a righteous
home, because "the vegetation of a good land comes forth (easily) by
the Permission of its Lord, and that which is bad, brings forth
nothing but a little with difficulty…" [al-A'raaf 7:58 –
interpretation of the meaning].

Striving to guide one's wife

If one's wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is
from the Bounty of Allaah. If she is not that righteous, then it is
the duty of the head of the household to strive to guide her. Any of
the following scenarios may apply:

A man may marry a woman who is not religious in the first place,
because he himself is not religious at first, or he may have married
her in the hope of guiding her, or under pressure from his relatives,
for example. In these cases he must strive hard to guide her.

A man must also realize from the outset that guidance comes from
Allaah, and that Allaah is the One Who reforms people. One of His
blessings to his slave Zakariya was, as He said (interpretation of
the meaning): "… and [We] cured his wife for him…" [al-Anbiya'
21:90]. This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious.
Ibn `Abbaas said: "She was barren and could not have children, then
she had a child." `Ataa' said: "She was harsh of tongue, and Allaah
reformed her."

There are various means of guiding or reforming one's wife, such as:

Paying attention to correcting her worship of Allaah in all its
aspects, as will be discussed in detail below.

Striving to strengthen her eemaan, such as:

encouraging her to pray at night (qiyaam al-layl)

encouraging her to read Qur'aan

encouraging her to memorize adhkaar and remember the appropriate
times and occasions for saying them

encouraging her to give charity

encouraging her to read useful Islamic books

encouraging her to listen to useful Islamic cassettes that can
increase knowledge and strengthen eemaan – and continuing to supply
her with them.

choosing good, religious friends for her, with whom she can form ties
of sisterhood and have good conversations and purposeful visits.

protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for it to reach
her, by keeping her away from bad companions and bad places.

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Creating an atmosphere of faith in the home

Making the home a place for the remembrance of Allaah

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The
likeness of a house in which Allaah is remembered and the house in
which Allaah is not remembered is that of the living and the dead,
respectively."

We must make our homes places where Allaah is remembered in all kinds
of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading
Qur'aan, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading different kinds
of Islamic books.

How many Muslim homes nowadays are dead because there is no
remembrance of Allaah, as mentioned in the hadeeth. What must they be
like when all that is heard therein is the music of Shaytaan with
instruments and singing, and backbiting, slander and gossip?

What must they be like when they are filled with evil and sin, such
as the haraam mixing of the sexes and wanton display between
relatives who are not mahram or with neighbours who enter the home?

How can the angels enter a home like this? Revive your homes with all
kinds of dhikr, may Allaah have mercy on you!

Make your homes a qiblah

What is meant is taking the home as a place of worship.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And We inspired Moosa
and his brother (saying): `Take dwellings for your people in Egypt,
and make your dwellings as places for your worship, and perform al-
salaah, and give glad tidings to the believers.'" [Yoonus 10:87].

Ibn `Abbaas said: "They were commanded to take their dwellings as
places of prayer [lit. mosques]."

Ibn Katheer said: "This – and Allaah knows best – was because of the
intensity of the tribulation that they were facing from Pharaoh and
his people. They were commanded to pray much, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): `O you who believe! Seek help with
patience and prayer…' [al-Baqarah 2:153], and as it was reported in
the hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him), when he was distressed by something, would pray."

This explains the importance of worshipping at home, especially at
times when the Muslims are in a position of weakness, as happens in
some places where the Muslims cannot pray openly in front of the
kuffaar. In this context we may think of the mihraab of Maryam, which
was her place of worship, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): "… Every time Zakariya entered the mihraab to visit her, he
found her supplied with sustenance…" [Aal `Imraan 3:37]

The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used to be keen to
pray at home – apart from the fard or obligatory prayers (which they
prayed in congregation in the mosque) – and there is a moving story
concerning this. Mahmood ibn al-Rabee' al-Ansaari reported
that `Utbaan ibn Maalik – who was one of the Companions of the
Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and was one of
the Ansaar who had been present at Badr – came to the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "I am
losing my sight, and I lead my people in prayer. When it rains, the
valley between me and them gets flooded and I cannot get to their
mosque to lead them in prayer. O Messenger of Allaah, I would like
you to come to come and pray in my house so that I can take it as a
place for prayer." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said, "I will do that, in sha Allaah." `Utbaan
said: "The next day the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and Abu Bakr came in the morning. The Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked for
permission to enter, and I gave him permission. He did not sit down
until he entered the house, then he said, `Where would you like me to
pray in your house?' I showed him a corner of the house, then the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood
up, said Takbeer, and we stood in a row behind him, and he prayed two
rak'ahs and gave the salaam at the end of the prayer." (Reported by
al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/519)

Spiritual training for the members of the household

`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray
qiyaam at night, and when he prayed witr he would say, `Get up and
pray witr, O `Aa'ishah'" (Reported by Muslim, Muslim bi Sharh al-
Nawawi, 6/23).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "May
Allaah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he
wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her
face." (Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawood. Saheeh al-Jaami', 3488).

Encouraging the women of one's household to give charity is another
means of increasing faith. This is something very important which the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged, when
he said, "O women! Give in charity, for I have seen that you form the
majority of the inhabitants of Hell." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-
Fath, 1/405).

One of the new ideas is to have a box at home for donations to the
poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because
it is their vessel in the Muslim home.

If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyaam
al-Beed (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and
Thursdays, Taasoo'aa' and `Aashooraa' (the 9th and 10th of
Muharram), `Arafaah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha'baan, this
will be a motive for them to do likewise.

Paying attention to adhkaar and Sunnah du'aa's that have to do with
the home

Adkhaar for entering the home:

Muslim reported in his Saheeh that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When any one of you enters
his home and mentions the Name of Allaah when he enters and when he
eats, the Shaytaan says: `You have no place to stay and nothing to
eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allaah when
he enters, [the Shaytaan] says, `You have a place to stay.' If he
does not mention the name of Allaah when he eats, [the Shaytaan
says], `You have a place to stay and something to eat.'" (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 3/346; Muslim, 3/1599).

Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If a man goes out of his
house and says, `Bismillaah, tawakkaltu `ala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa
quwwata illaa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in
Allaah, there is no help and no strength except in Allaah),' it will
be said to him, `This will take care of you, you are guided, you have
what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytaan will stay away
from him, and another shaytaan will say to him, `What can you do with
a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Reported by Abu
Dawood and al-Tirmidhi. Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 499)

Siwaak

Imaam Muslim reported in his Saheeh that `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) said: "When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered his house, the first thing
he would do was use siwaak." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Tahaarah,
chapter 15, no. 44).

Continuously reciting Soorat al-Baqarah in the house to ward off the
Shaytaan

There are a number of ahaadeeth concerning this, such as:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Do not make your houses into graves. The Shaytaan flees from a
house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited." (Reported by Muslim,
1/539)

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Recite Soorat al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Shaytaan does
not enter a house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited." (Reported
by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak. 1/561; Saheeh al-Jaami', 1170).

Concerning the virtues of the last two aayaat of this soorah, and the
effect of reciting them in one's house, he (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah wrote a document two thousand years
before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the
Throne, and He revealed two aayaat of it with which He concluded
Soorat al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three
consecutive nights, the Shaytaan will not approach it." (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 4/274, and others. Saheeh al-Jaami', 1799).

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Islamic Knowledge in the home

Teaching the family

This is an obligation which the head of the household must undertake,
in obedience to the command of Allaah (interpretation of the
meaning): "O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your
families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones…" [al-Tahreem
66:6]. This aayah is the basic principle regarding the teaching and
upbringing of one's family, and enjoining them to do what is good and
forbidding them to do what is evil. There follow some of the comments
of the mufassireen on this aayah, in so far as it pertains to the
duties of the head of the household.

Qutaadah said: "He should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid
them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance with the commands
of Allaah, and help them to do that."

Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: "It is the Muslim's duty to teach his
family, including relatives and female slaves, what Allaah has
enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden."

`Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "Teach them and
discipline them."

Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "We must teach our
children and wives the religion and goodness, and whatever they need
of good manners. If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) used to urge the teaching of female servants, who
were slaves, what do you think about your children and wives, who are
free?"

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his
Saheeh: "Chapter: a man's teaching his female slaves and wife." Then
he quoted the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him): "There are three who will have two rewards: … a man who
has a female slave whom he teaches good manners and teaches her well,
and teaches her knowledge, and teaches her well, then he frees her
and marries her: he will have two rewards."

Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this
hadeeth: "The chapter heading refers specifically to female slaves,
and to wives by analogy, i.e., teaching one's free wife about her
duties towards Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger is more clearly
essential than teaching one's female slaves."

In the midst of all a man's activities, work and other commitments,
he may forget to allow himself time for teaching his wife. One
solution to this is to allocate some time for the family, and even
for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home. He can
let everyone know the time and encourage them to come regularly, so
that it will be an ongoing commitment for him and for them. Something
similar happened at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him).

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Chapter: can the
women be given a day exclusively for them to seek knowledge"? and
quoted the hadeeth of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased
with him): "The women said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): `The men always crowd us out and we cannot reach
you, so set aside a day for us when we can come to you.' So he set
aside a day when he would meet them and teach them."

Ibn Hajar said: "A similar report was narrated by Sahl ibn Abi Saalih
from Abu Hurayrah, according to which [the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)] said: `Your appointment is in the
house of so and so,' and he came to them and spoke to them.'"

What we learn from this is that women should be taught in their
houses, and we see how keen the women of the Sahaabah were to learn.
Directing teaching efforts to men alone, and not to women, is a
serious shortcoming on the part of dai'yahs and heads of households.

Some readers may ask, suppose we set aside a day, and tell our
families about it – what should we study in these gatherings? Where
do we begin?

I suggest that you begin with a simple program to teach your family
in general, and the women in particular, using the following books:

The tafseer of al-`Allaamah Ibn Sa'di, entitled Tayseer al-Kareem al-
Rahmaan fi Tafseer Kalaam al-Mannaan, which is published in seven
volumes and is written in an easy style; you can read it or teach
somes soorahs and passages from it.

Riyaadh al-Saaliheen – you coul discuss the ahaadeeth quoted, along
with the footnotes and the lessons learned from them. You could also
refer to the book Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen.

Hasan al-Uswah bimaa thubita `an Allaahi wa Rasoolihi fi'l-Nuswah, by
al-`Allaamah Siddeeq Hasan Khaan.

It is also important to teach women some of the ahkaam of fiqh, such
as the rulings on tahaarah (purity) and menstrual and post-partum
bleeding, salaah, zakaah, siyaam (fasting) and hajj, if she is able
to go; some of the rulings on food and drink, clothing and adornment,
the sunan al-fitrah, rulings on mahaarim (who is a mahram relative
and who is not), rulings on singing and photography, and so on. Among
the important sources of such information are the fatwas (rulings or
edicts) of the scholars, such as the collections of fatwas by
Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-
`Uthaymeen, and other scholars, whether they are written fatwas or
fatwas recorded on tapes.

Another matter that may be included in a syllabus for teaching women
and family members is reminding them of lessons or public lectures
given by trustworthy scholars and seekers of knowledge which they can
attend, so they can have a variety of excellent sources for learning.
We should not forget either the radio programs of Idhaa'at al-Qur'aan
al-Kareem; another means of teaching is reminding family members of
the particular days when women can attend Islamic bookstores, and
taking them there, within the guidelines of sharee'ah [i.e., proper
hijaab, etc.]

Start building an Islamic "library" in your home

Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting them
develop a understanding of their religion and help them adhere to its
rules, is having one's own Islamic library at home. It does not have
to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in
a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family
members to read them.

You could put books in a clean and tidy corner of the living room,
and in a suitable place in a bedroom or guest room; this will make it
easy for any member of the family to read constantly.

In order to build a library properly – and Allaah loves things to be
done properly – you should include references so that family members
can research various matters and children can use them for their
studies. You should also include books of varying levels, so that old
and young, men and women can all use them. You should also have books
for giving to guests, children's friends and family visitors, but try
to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and
with the sources and classification of the ahaadeeth properly given.
You can make the most of Islamic bookstores and exhibitions to build
a home library, after consulting and seeking advice from those who
have experience in the field of books. One way in which you can help
family members to find a book when they want it is to organize the
books according to subject, with books of Tafseer on one shelf, books
of hadeeth on another, fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family
members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the
library, to make it easier to look for books.

Many of those who want to start a home library may ask for titles of
Islamic books. Here are a few suggestions:

Tafseer:

Tafseer Ibn Katheer

Tafseer Ibn Sa'di

Zubdat al-Tafseer by al-Ashkar

Badaa'i' al-Tafseer by Ibn al-Qayyim

Usool al-Tafseer by Ibn `Uthaymeen

Lamahaat fi `Uloom al-Qur'aan by Muhammad al-Sabbaagh

Hadeeth

Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib

`Aml al-Muslim fi'l-Yawm wa'l-Laylah (or: Al-Saheeh al-Musnad min
Adhkaar al-Yawm wa'l-Laylah)

Riyaadh al-Saaliheen and its commentary Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen

Mukhtasar Saheeh al-Bukhaari by al-Zubaydi

Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim by al-Mundhiri and al-Albaani

Saheeh al-Jaami' al-Sagheer

Da'eef al-Jaami' al-Sagheer

Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb

Al-Sunnah wa Makaanatuhaa fi'l-Tashree'

Qawaa'id wa fawaa'id min al-Arba'een al-Nawawiyyah by Naazim Sultaan

`Aqeedah

Fath al-Majeed Sharh Kitaab al-Tawheed (edited by al-Arnaa'oot)

A'laam al-Sunnah al-Manshoorah by al-Hakami (ed.)

Sharh al-`Aqeedah al-Tahhaawiyyah, edited by al-Albaani

The series on `Aqeedah by Umar Sulaymaan al-Ashqar in 8 parts

Ashraat al-Saa'ah by Dr. Yoosuf al-Waabil

Fiqh

Manaar al-Sabeel by Ibn Duwiyyaan

Irwa' al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani

Zaad al-Ma'aad

al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah

Fiqh al-Sunnah [also available in English translation]

Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Saalih al-Fawzaan

Collections of fatwas by different scholars (`Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz,
Muhammad Saalih al-`Uthaymeen, `Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen)

Sifat Salaah al-Nabi (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by
Shaykh al-Albaani and Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz [available in
English under the title The Prophet's Prayer Described]

Mukhtasar Ahkaam al-Janaa'iz by al-Albaani

Good manners and purification of the soul:

Tahdheeb Madaarij al-Saalikeen

Al-Fawaa'id

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi

Tareeq al-Hijratayn wa Baab al-Sa'aadatayn

Al-Waabil al-Sayib

Raafi' al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim

Lataa'if al-Ma'aarif by Ibn Rajab

Tahdheeb Maw'izat al-Mu'mineen

Ghadhaa' al-Albaab

Seerah and biographies

Al-Bidaayah wa'l-Nihaayah by Ibn Katheer

Mukhtasar al-Shamaa'il al-Muhammadiyyah by al-Tirmidhi, abridged by
al-Albaani

Al-Raheeq al-Makhtoom by al-Mubaarakpoori [available in English
translation]

Al-`Awaasim min al-Qawaasim by Ibn al-`Arabi, ed. by al-Khateeb and
al-Istanbooli

Al-Mujtama' al-Madani (2 vols.) by Shaykh Akram al-`Umari [available
in English under the title Madinan Society at the Time of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]

Siyar A'lam al-Nubala'

Minhaj Kitaabat al-Taareekh al-Islaami by Muhammad ibn Saamil al-
Salami

There are many other good books on various topics, such as those by:

Shaykh Muhammad ibn `Abd al-Wahhaab

Shaykh `Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Naasir al-Sa'di

Shaykh `Umar Sulaymaan ibn Ashqar

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Ismaa'eel al-Muqaddim

Prof. Muhammad Muhammad Husayn

Shaykh Muhammad Jameel Zayno

Prof. Husayn al-`Awayishah's books on al-Raqaa'iq (topics to soften
the heart and strengthen eemaan)

Al-Eemaan by Muhammad Na'eem Yaaseen

Al-Walaa' wa'l-Baraa' by Shaykh Muhammad Sa'eed al-Qahtaani
[available in English translation]

Al-Inhiraafaat al-`Aqdiyyah fi'l-Qarnayn al-Thaani `Ashara wa'l-
Thaalith `Ashara by `Ali ibn Bukhayt al-Zahraani

Al-Muslimoon wa Zaahirat al-Hazeemah al-Nafsiyyah by `Abd-Allaah al-
Shabaanah

Al-Mar'ah bayn al-Fiqh wa'l-Qaanoon by Mustafa al-Sibaa'i

Al-Usrah al-Muslimah amaam al-video wa'l-tilifiziyon by Marwaan Kijik

Al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah I'daadaatuhaa wa mas'ooliyaatuhaa by Ahmad Abu
Bateen

Mas'ooliyat al-Abb al-Muslim fi Tarbiyat Waladihi by `Adnaan
Baahaarith

Hijaab al-Muslimah by Ahmad al-Baaraazi

Wa Jaa'a Dawr al-Maajoos by `Abd-Allaah Muhammad al-Ghareeb

Books by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd

Abhaath al-Shaykh Mashoor Hasan Salmaan

There are many other useful, good books – what we have mentioned is
only by way of example, and is by no means a complete list. There are
also many useful pamphlets and booklets, but it would take too long
to list everything. The Muslim should consult others and think hard.
Whomever Allaah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His
religion.

Home audio library

Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for
evil. How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allaah?

One of the ways in which we can achieve this is to have a home audio
library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars, fuqaha',
lecturers, khateebs and preachers.

Listening to tapes of Qur'aan recitation by some Imaams, for example
those recorded during Taraaweeh prayers, will have a great impact on
family members, whether by impressing upon them the meanings of the
Revelation, or by helping them to memorize Qur'aan because of
repeated listening. It will also protect them by letting them hear
Qur'aanic recitation rather than the music and singing of the
Shaytaan, because it is not right for the words of al-Rahmaan
(Allaah) to be mixed with the music of the Shaytaan in the heart of
the believer.

Tapes of fatwas may have a great effect on family members and help
them to understand various rulings, which will have an impact on
their daily lives. We suggest listening to tapes of fatwas given by
scholars such as Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Muhammad
Naasir al-Deen al-Albaani, Shaykh Muhammad al-`Uthaymeen, Shaykh
Saalih al-Fawzaan, and other trustworthy scholars.

Muslims must also pay attention to the sources from which they take
fatwas, because this is the matter of religion, so look to where you
take your religion from. You should take it from someone who is known
to be righteous and pious, who bases his fatwas on sound ahaadeeth,
who is not fanatical in his adherence to a madhhab, who follows sound
evidence and adheres to a middle path without being either extreme or
too lenient. Ask an expert. "… Allaah, Most Gracious: ask, then about
Him of any acquainted (with such things)." [al-Furqaan 25:59 –
interpretation of the meaning – Yusuf Ali's translation].

Listening to lectures by those who are striving to raise the
awareness of the ummah, establish proof and denounce evil, is very
important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim
home.

There are many tapes and lectures, and the Muslim needs to know the
features of the sound methodology so as to distinguish sound
lecturers from others and look for their tapes, which they can listen
to with confidence. Among these features are:

The lecturer should be a believer in the `aqeedah of the Saved Group,
Ahl al-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah, adhering to the Sunnah and firmly
rejecting bid'ah. The speaker should be moderate, neither extremist
nor lenient.

He should base his talks on sound ahaadeeth, and beware of weak and
fabricated ahaadeeth.

He should have insight into people's situations and the realities of
the ummah, and should offer the appropriate remedy for any problem,
giving the people what they need.

He should speak the truth as much as he can, and not utter falsehood
or please the people by angering Allaah.

We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them,
whether by helping them to memorize Qur'aan by listening to a young
reader, or du'aa's to be recited at various times of day and night,
or Islamic manners, or nasheeds (religious "songs" with no
instrumental accompaniment) with a useful message, and so on.

Putting tapes in drawers in an organized fashion will make it easier
to find them, and will also protect them from getting damaged or from
being played with by young children. We should distribute good tapes
by giving or lending them to others after listening to them. Having a
recorder in the kitchen will be very useful for the lady of the
house, and having a recorder in the bedroom will help a person make
good use of time until the last moments of the day.

Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge to visit
the home.

"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a
believer, and all the believing men and women…" [Nooh 71:28 –
interpretation of the meaning].

If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (noor),
and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and
discussion with them. The bearer of musk will either give you some,
or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant
scent. When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors,
and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said,
this offers an educational experience to all. If you bring good
people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in
a wreaking havoc.

Learning the Islamic rulings with regard to houses.

These include:

Praying in the house

With regard to men, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "The best of prayer is a man's prayer in his house –
apart from the prescribed prayers." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-
Fath, no. 731).

It is obligatory to pray (the five daily prayers) in the mosque,
except if there is a valid excuse. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: "A man's voluntary
prayers in his house will bring more reward than his voluntary
prayers at other people's places, just as his obligatory prayers with
the people are better than his obligatory prayers alone." (Reported
by Ibn Abi Shaybah. Saheeh al-Jaami', 2953).

With regard to women, the deeper inside her home her place of prayer
is, the better, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "The best prayer for women is [that offered] in the
furthest part of their houses." (Reported by al-Tabaraani. Saheeh al-
Jaami', 3311).

A man should not be led in prayer in his own home, and no one should
sit in the place where the master of the house usually sits, except
with his permission. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "A man should not be led in prayer in his
place of authority, and no one should sit in his place in his house,
except with his permission." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2772).
I.e., no one should go forward to lead him in prayer, even if they
recite Qur'aan better than he does, in a place that he owns or where
he has authority, such as a householder in his home, or an imaam in a
mosque. Similarly, it is not permitted to sit in the private spot of
the head of the master of the house, such as a bed or mattress, etc.,
except with his permission.

Seeking permission to enter.

"O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you
have asked permission and greeted those in them, that is better for
you, in order that you may remember. And if you find no one therein,
still, enter not until permission has been given. And if you are
asked to go back, go back, for it is purer for you. And Allaah is All-
Knower of what you do." [al-Noor 24:27-28 – interpretation of the
meaning].

"… so enter houses through their proper doors…" [al-Baqarah 2:189 –
interpretation of the meaning].

It is permissible to enter houses that are empty if one has some
legitimate business there, such as a house prepared for
guests. "There is no sin on you that you enter (without taking
permission) houses uninhabited (i.e., not possessed by anybody),
(when) you have any interest in them. And Allaah has knowledge of
what you reveal and what you conceal." [al-Noor 24:29 –
interpretation of the meaning].

Not feeling too shy to eat in the houses of friends and relatives,
and in houses of friends and relatives and others to which one has
the keys, if they have no objection to that. "There is no restriction
on the blind, nor any restriction on the lame, nor any restriction on
the sick, nor on yourselves, if you eat from your houses, or the
houses of your fathers, or the houses of your mothers, or the houses
of your brothers, or the houses of your sisters, or the houses of
your father's brothers, or the houses of your father's sisters, or
the houses of your mother's brothers, or the houses of your mother's
sisters, or (from that) whereof you hold keys, or (from the house) of
a friend. No sin on you whether you eat together or apart…" [al-Noor
24:61].

Telling children and servants not to barge in to the parents' bedroom
without permission at the times when people usually sleep, i.e.,
before Fajr, at siesta time and after `Isha', lest they see something
inappropriate. If they see something accidentally at other times,
this is forgivable, because they are tawwaafeen (those who go about
in the house) and it is difficult to stop them. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): "O you who believe! Let your legal
slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the
age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your
presence) on three occasions: before Fajr prayer, and while you put
off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the `Isha prayer.
(These) three times are of privacy for you; other than these times
there is no sin on you or on them to move about, - attending
(helping) you each other. Thus Allaah makes clear the aayaat (verses
of this Qur'aan, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission
for visits, etc.) to you. And Allaah is All-Knowing, All-Wise." [al-
Noor 24:57].

It is forbidden to look into the houses of other people without their
permission. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Whoever looks into someone's house without their
permission, put his eyes out, and there is no diyah or qisaas [blood
money or retaliation] in this case." (Reported by Ahmad, al-Musnad,
2/385; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6046).

A woman who has been divorced by talaaq for a first or second time
[and could still go back to her husband] should not leave or be made
to leave her home during the `iddah, and she should still be
supported financially. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): "O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at
their `iddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately)
their `iddah (periods). And fear Allaah your Lord (O Muslims), and
turn them not out of their (husband's) homes, nor shall they
(themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open
illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allaah.
And whoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he has
wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may
be that Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e., to
return her back to you, if this as the first or second divorce)." [al-
Talaaq 65:1]

It is permissible for a man to forsake his rebellious wife inside or
outside the home, according to the interests prescribed by sharee'ah
in any given case. The evidence for forsaking her inside the home is
the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "… refuse to share their
beds…" [al-Nisa' 4:34]. With regard to forsaking women outside the
home, this is what happened when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) forsook his wives, leaving them in
their apartments and staying in a room outside the houses of his
wives. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Talaaq, Baab fi'l-Eelaa').

One should not stay alone overnight in the house. Ibn `Umar (may
Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade being alone and said that a
man should not stay overnight alone or travel alone. (Reported by
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/91). This is because of the feelings of
loneliness etc., that come from being alone, and also because of the
possibility of attacks by enemies or robbers, or the possibility of
sickness. If one has a companion, he can help fight off attacks, and
can help if one gets sick. (See al-Fath al-Rabbaani, 5/64).

Not sleeping on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, lest
one fall. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Whoever sleeps on the roof of a house that has no
protecting wall, nobody is responsible for what happens to him."
(Reported by Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, no. 5041; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6113;
its commentary is in `Awn al-Ma'bood, 13/384). This is because one
who is asleep may roll over in his sleep, and if there is no wall he
may fall off the roof and be killed. In such a case, nobody would be
to blame for his death; or his negligence would cause Allaah to lift
His protection from him, because he did not take the necessary
precautions. The hadeeth may mean either.

Pet cats do not make vessels naajis (impure) if they drink from them,
or make food naajis if they eat from it. `Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Qutaadah
reported from his father that water was put out for him to make
wudoo', and a cat came and lapped at the water. He took the water and
did wudoo' with it, and they said, "O Abu Qutaadah! The cat drank
from it." He said, I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: `Cats are part of the
household, and they are among those who go around in your houses.'"
(Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami', 3694).
According to another report he said: "They [cats] are not naajis;
they are among those who go around [al-tawwaafeen wa'l-tawwaafaat –
refers to children, servants, etc.] in your houses." (Reported by
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami', 2437).

[ Table of Contents ]


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Knowing the advantages of khushoo' in salaah

These include:

- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "There is no Muslim man who, when the time for a prescribed
prayer comes, he does wudoo' properly, has the proper attitude of
khushoo', and bows properly, but it will be an expiation for all his
previous sins, so long as they were not major sins (kabeerah). And
this is the case for life" (Reported by Muslim, 1/206, no. 7/4/2)

- The reward recorded is in proportion to the degree of khushoo', as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A
slave may pray and have nothing recorded for it except a tenth of it,
or a ninth, or an eighth, or a seventh, or a sixth, or a fifth, or a
quarter, or a third, or a half." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; Saheeh al-
Jaami', 1626).

- Only the parts of his prayer where he focused and concentrated
properly will be of any avail to him. It was reported that
Ibn `Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "You will only
have from your prayer that which you focused on."

Sins will be forgiven if you concentrate properly and have full
khushoo', as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "When a slave stands and prays, all his sins are brought and
placed on his head and shoulders. Every time he bows or prostrates,
some of them fall from him." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-
Kubraa, 3/10; see also Saheeh al-Jaami'). Al-Manaawi said: "What is
meant is that every time a pillar (essential part) of the prayer is
completed, part of his sins fall from him, until when he finishes his
prayer, all his sins will be removed. This is in a prayer where all
the conditions are met and the essential parts are complete. What we
understand from the words "slave" and "stands" is that he is standing
before the King of Kings [Allaah] in the position of a humble slave."
(Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa, 3/10; see also Saheeh
al-Jaami').

- The one who prays with khushoo' will feel lighter when he finishes
his prayer, as if his burdens have been lifted from him. He will feel
at ease and refreshed, so that he will wish he had not stopped
praying, because it is such a source of joy and comfort for him in
this world. He will keep feeling that he is in a constricting prison
until he starts to pray again; he will find comfort in prayer instead
of wanting just to get it over and done with. Those who love prayer
say: we pray and find comfort in our prayer, just as their leader,
example and Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said, "O Bilaal, let us find comfort in prayer." He did not say "Let
us get it over and done with."

- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "My
joy has been made in prayer." So whoever finds his joy in prayer, how
can he bear to look for joy anywhere else, or to keep away from it?

(Al-Waabil al-Sayib, 37).

Striving to offer du'aa' at the appropriate times during the prayer,
especially in sujood

There is no doubt that talking to Allaah, humbling oneself before
Him, asking things from Him and earnestly seeking His help, all help
to strengthen the slave's ties to his Lord and increase his khushoo'.
Du'aa' is an act of worship, and we are commanded to make du'aa'.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… call upon Him in
humility and in secret…" [al-An'aam 6:63]. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever does not call on
Allaah, Allaah will be angry with him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
Kitaab al-Da'waat, 1/426; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi,
2686).

It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) used to make du'aa' at specific places in the prayer, i.e.,
in sujood, between the two prostrations and after the Tashahhud. The
greatest of these is in sujood, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "The closest that the slave
can be to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so increase your du'aa'
[at that time]." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab maa
yuqaalu fi'l-rukoo' wa'l-sujood. No. 215). And he said: "… As for
sujood, strive hard to make du'aa' in it, for it is bound to be
answered for you." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab al-
Nahy `an qiraa'at al-Qur'aan fi'l rukoo' wa'l-sujood, no. 207).

One of the du'aa's which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) used to recite in his sujood was: "Allaahumma'ghfir li
dhanbi diqqahu wa jillahu wa awwalahu wa aakhirahu wa `alaaniyatahu
wa sirrahu (O Allaah, forgive me my sins, the minor and the major,
the first and the last, the open and the hidden)." (Reported by
Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab ma yuqaalu fi'l-rukoo' wa'l-sujood,
no. 216). He also used to say, "Allaahumma'ghfir li maa asrartu wa
maa a'lantu (O Allaah, forgive me what I have done in secret and done
openly)." (Reported by al-Nisaa'i, al-Mujtabaa, 2/569; Saheeh al-
Jaami', 1067).

We have already described some of the du'aa's that he used to recite
between the two sajdahs. (See section 11).

One of the things that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
used to recite after the Tashahhud is what we learn from the
hadeeth: "When any one of you finishes the Tashahhud, let him seek
refuge with Allaah from four things, from the punishment of Hell,
from the punishment of the grave, from the trials (fitnah) of life
and death, and from the evil of the Dajjal (`Antichrist')." He used
to say,

"Allaahumma innee a'oodhu bika min sharri maa `amiltu wa min sharri
maa lam a'mal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from the evil of what
I have done and the evil of what I have not done)."

"Allaahumma haasibni hisaaban yaseeran (O Allaah, make my accounting
easy)."

He taught Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) to
say, "Allaahumma innee zalamtu nafsi zulman katheeran, wa la yaghfir
al-dhunooba illa anta, faghfir li maghfiratan min `indaka warhamni
innaka anta al-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allaah, I have wronged myself
very much, and no one can forgive sin but You. Grant me forgiveness
from You and have mercy on me, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most
Merciful)."

He heard a man saying in his Tashahhud: "Allaahumma inne as'aluka yaa
Allaah al-Ahad al-Samad alladhi lam yalid wa lam yoolad wa lam yakum
lahu kufuwan ahad an taghfir li dhunoobi innaka anta'l-Ghafoor al-
Raheem (O Allaah, I ask You O Allaah, the One, the Self-Sufficient
Master, Who begets not neither is begotten, and there is none like
unto Him, to forgive me my sins, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most
Merciful)." He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to
his companions: "He has been forgiven, he has been forgiven."

He heard another man saying, "Allaahumma innee as'aluka bi-anna
laka'l-hamd, laa ilaaha ill anta wahdaka laa shareeka lak al-Mannaan
yaa badee' al-samawaati wa'l-ard, yaa dhaa'l-jalaali wa'l-ikraam, ya
hayyu yaa qayyoom, innee as'aluka al-jannah wa a'oodhu bika min al-
naar (O Allaah, I ask You as all praise is due to You, there is no
god but You Alone, with no partner or associate, the Bestower, O
Originator of the heavens and earth, O Possessor of Glory and Honour,
O Ever-Living, O Self-Sustaining, I ask You for Paradise and I seek
refuge with You from Hell)." The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said to his companions: "Do you know by what did
he ask Allaah?" They said, "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He
said, "By the One in Whose hand is my soul, he asked Allaah by His
greatest Name (ismuhu'l-a'zam) which, when He is called by it, He
responds, and if He is asked by it, He gives."

The last thing he would say between the Tashahhud and the Tasleem
was: "Allaahumma'aghfir li maa qaddamtu wa ma akhkhartu wa maa
asrartu wa maa a'lantu wa maa asraftu wa maa anta a'lam bihi minni
anta'l-muqaddim wa anta'l-mu'akhkhir, laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah,
forgive me what I have done in the past, and what I will do in the
future, and what I have concealed, and what I have done openly, and
what I have exceeded in, whatever You know about more than I. You are
the Bringer-Forward, and You are the Delayer, there is no god except
You)."

(These du'aa's and others, along with their isnaads, are to be found
in Sifat al-Salaah by al-`Allaamah al-Albaani, p.163, 11th edn.)

Memorizing du'aa's like these will solve the problem that some people
have of remaining silent behind the imaam when they have finished the
Tashahhud because they do not know what they should say.

Adhkaar to be recited after prayer

These also help to strengthen khushoo' in the heart and reinforce the
blessings and benefits of the prayer.

Without a doubt, one of the best ways of preserving and protecting a
good action is to follow it up with another. So the one who thinks
about the adhkaar that come after the prayer will find that they
begin with seeking forgiveness three times, as if the worshipper is
seeking forgiveness from his Lord for any shortcomings that may have
occurred in his prayer or his khushoo'. It is also important to pay
attention to naafil (supererogatory) prayers, because they make up
for anything lacking in the fard (obligatory) prayers, including any
failure with regard to khushoo'.

Having discussed things that help us to have khushoo', we now move on
to a discussion of

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Meetings at home

Removing anything that may distract the worshipper

Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: " `Aa'ishah had a
decorated, colourful curtain which she used to cover the side of her
house. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said
to her, `Take it away from me, because its decorations keep
distracting me when I pray.'" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-
Baari, 10/391).

Al-Qaasim reported that `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her)
had a cloth with decorations on it, which she used to cover a small
sunken alcove (used for sleeping or storage). The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray facing it, and he
said, `Take it away from me, because its decorations keep distracting
me when I pray.' So she took it away and made pillows out of it."
(Reported by Muslim in his Saheeh, 3/1668).

Another indication of this is the fact that when the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered the Ka'bah to pray in
it, he saw two ram's horns. When he had prayed, he told `Uthmaan al-
Hajabi, "I forgot to tell you to cover the horns, because there
should not be anything in the House to distract the worshipper."
(Reported by Abu Dawood, 2030; Saheeh al-Jaami', 2504).

This also includes avoiding praying in places where people pass
through, or where there is a lot of noise and voices of people
talking, or where they are engaging in conversations, arguments etc.,
or where there are visual distractions.

One should also avoid praying in places that are very hot or very
cold, if possible. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) told us to delay praying Zuhr in summer until the hottest part
of the day was over. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: "Praying when it is intensely hot prevents a person from having
the proper khushoo' and presence of mind, and he does his worship
reluctantly, so the Prophet wisely told them to delay praying until
the heat had lessened somewhat, so that they could pray with presence
of mind and thus achieve the purpose of prayer, i.e., having khushoo'
and turning to Allaah." (Al-Waabil al-Sayib, Daar al-Bayaan edn.,
p.22)

Not praying in a garment that has decorations, writing, bright
colours or pictures that will distract the worshipper

`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up to pray wearing a
checkered shirt, and he looked at the patterns in it. When he had
finished his prayer, he said, "Take this shirt to Abu Jaham ibn
Hudhayfah and bring me an anbajaani (a garment with no decorations or
checks), because it distracted me when I was praying." According to
another report: "These checks distracted me." According to another
report: "He had a checkered shirt, which used to distract him whilst
he was praying." (Reports in Saheeh Muslim, no. 556, part 3/391).

It is better not to pray in a garment that has pictures on it, and we
should be especially careful to avoid garments with pictures of
animate beings, like many garments that are widely available nowadays.

Not praying when there is food prepared that one wants to eat

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Do not pray when there is food prepared." (Reported by Muslim,
no. 560).

If food has been prepared and served, or if it is offered, a person
should eat first, because he will not be able to concentrate properly
and have khushoo' if he leaves it and gets up to pray when he is
wanting to eat. He should not even hasten to finish eating, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If the
dinner is served and the time for prayer comes, eat dinner before
praying Salaat al-Maghrib, and do not rush to finish your meal."
According to another report: "If dinner has been put out and the
iqaamah has been given for prayer, eat dinner first and do not rush
to finish it." (Agreed upon. Al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Aadhan, Baab
idhaa hadara al-ta'aamu wa uqeemat al-salaah; Muslim, no. 557-559).

Not praying when one needs to answer the call of nature

No doubt one of the things that can prevent proper khushoo' is
praying when one needs to go to the washroom. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade praying when one is
suppressing the urge to urinate or defecate. (Reported by Ibn Maajah
in his Sunan, no. 617; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 6832).

If anyone is in this position, he should first go to the bathroom and
answer the call of nature, even if he misses whatever he misses of
the congregational prayer, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "If any one of you needs to go to the
toilet, and the prayer has begun, he should go to the toilet first."
(Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 88; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 299)

If this happens to a person whilst he is praying, he should stop
praying, go and answer the call of nature, purify himself then pray,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said, "There is no prayer when there is food prepared or if one is
suppressing the urge to expel waste matter." (Saheeh Muslim, no.
560). Without a doubt, this trying to suppress the urge takes away
khushoo'. This ruling also applies to suppressing the urge to pass
wind.

Not praying when one feels sleepy

Anas ibn Maalik said, "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "If any one of you feels sleepy when he
is praying, he should sleep until he [is rested enough to] know what
he is saying," i.e., he should take a nap until he no longer feels
drowsy. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 210).

This may happen when one is praying qiyaam al-layl, at the time when
prayers are answered, and a person may pray against himself without
realizing it. This hadeeth also includes fard prayers, when a person
is confident that he will still have enough time to pray after taking
a nap. (Fath al-Baari, Sharh Kitaab al-Wudoo', Baab al-wudoo' min al-
nawm).

Not praying behind someone who is talking (or sleeping)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade this;
he said: "Do not pray behind one who is sleeping or one who is
talking." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 694; Saheeh al-Jaami', no.
375. He said, a hasan hadeeth).

- because one who is talking will distract the worshipper with his
talk, and one who is sleeping may expose something that will distract
the worshipper.

Al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "As for praying
behind people who are talking, al-Shaafa'i and Ahmad ibn Hanbal
considered this to be makrooh, because their talk distracts the
worshipper from his prayer." (`Awn al-Ma'bood, 2/388).

As regards not praying behind someone who is sleeping, a number of
scholars thought that the evidence for this was weak (including Abu
Dawood in his Sunan, Kitaab al-Salaah, Tafree' Abwaab al-Witr, Baab
al-Du'aa', and Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, Sharh Baab al-Salaah khalf
al-Naa'im, Kitaab al-Salaah).

Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, quoted the hadeeth
of `Aa'ishah in his Saheeh, Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naa'im: "The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray
whilst I was lying across from him on his bed…" (Saheeh al-Bukhaari,
Kitaab al-Salaah).

Mujaahid, Taawoos and Maalik thought it makrooh to pray facing
someone who was sleeping, lest he expose something that would
distract the worshipper from his prayer. (Fath al-Baari, ibid.)

If there is no risk of that happening, then it is not makrooh to pray
behind someone who is sleeping. And Allaah knows best.

Not occupying oneself with smoothing the ground in front of one

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported from Mu'ayqeeb
(may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning a man's smoothing
the ground when he prostrates, "If you have to do that, then do it
only once." (Fath al-Baari, 3/79).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Do not wipe (the ground) when you are praying, but if you have
to, then do it only once." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 946; Saheeh
al-Jaami', no. 7452).

The reason for this prohibition is so as to maintain khushoo', and so
that a person will not make too many extra movements in prayer. If
the place where one is going to prostrate needs to be smoothed, it is
better to do this before starting to pray.

This also applies to wiping the forehead or nose when praying. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to prostrate
in water and mud, which would leave traces on his forehead, but he
did not bother to wipe it off every time he raised his head from
sujood. It remained there because he was so deeply absorbed in his
prayer and his khushoo' was so strong that he took not notice of it.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Prayer
is an occupation in itself." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari,
3/72). Ibn Abi Shaybah reported that Abu'l-Darda' said: "Even if I
were to get red camels, I would not like to wipe the gravel from my
forehead." `Ayaad said: "The salaf did not like to wipe their
foreheads before they finished praying." (al-Fath, 3/79).

Just as a worshipper should avoid anything that will distract him
from his prayer, by the same token he should avoid disturbing others.
This includes:

Not disturbing others with one's recitation

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "All of you are speaking to your Lord, so do not disturb one
another, and do not raise your voices above one another when
reciting" or he said, "in prayer." (Reported by Abu Dawood, 2/83;
Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 752). According to another report, he said, "Do
not compete with one another in raising your voices when reciting
Qur'aan." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/36; Saheeh al-Jaami', 1951).

Not turning around during prayer

Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: `Allaah
continues to turn towards His slave whilst he is praying, so long as
he does not turn away, but if he turns away, [Allaah] turns away from
him." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 909; Saheeh Abi Dawood).

Turning away during prayer is of two types:

The turning away of the heart to something other than Allaah.

The turning away of the eyes.

Both of them are not allowed, and are detrimental to the reward for
the prayer. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) was asked about turning away during prayer, and he
said: "It is something that Shaytaan steals from a person's prayer."
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Adhaan, Baab al-Iltifaat fi'l-
Salaah).

The one who turns away with his heart or his eyes during prayer is
like a man who is called by the ruler and made to stand before him,
and when the ruler starts to address him, he turns away, looking to
the right and the left, not listening to what the ruler is saying and
not understanding a word of it, because his heart and mind are
elsewhere. What does this man think the ruler will do to him?

The least that he deserves is that when he leaves the ruler, he is
hated and no longer valued. One who prays like this is not equal to
one who prays with the proper presence of mind, turning to Allaah in
his prayer in such a way that he feels the greatness of the One
before Whom he is standing, and he is filled with fear and
submission; he feels too shy before his Lord to turn to anyone else
or to turn away. The difference between their prayers is as Hassaan
ibn `Atiyah said: "The two men may be in one congregation, but the
difference in virtue between them is as great as the distance between
heaven and earth. One of them is turning with all his heart towards
Allaah, whilst the other is negligent and forgetful." (Al-Waabil al-
Sayib by Ibn al-Qayyim, Daar al-Bayaan, p. 36).

As for turning away for a genuine reason, this is OK. Abu Dawood
reported that Sahl ibn al-Hanzaliyyah said: "We started praying –
Salaat al-Subh (Fajr) – and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was looking at the ravine." Abu
Dawood said: "He had sent a horseman at night to guard the ravine."
This is like when he carried Umaamah bint Abi'l-`Aas, and when he
opened the door for `Aa'ishah, and when he came down from the minbar
whilst praying in order to teach them, and when he stepped back
during Salaat al-Kusoof (prayer at the time of an eclipse), and when
he grabbed and strangled the Shaytaan when he wanted to interrupt his
prayer. He also ordered that snakes and scorpions should be killed
even during prayer, and a person who is praying should stop and even
fight one who wants to pass in front of him whilst he is praying. He
told women to clap during prayer [if they spot a mistake on the part
of the imaam], and he used to wave or gesture to people who greeted
him whilst he was praying. These and other actions may be done in
cases of necessity, but if there is no necessity, then they are just
idle gestures that cancel out khushoo' and are therefore not allowed
during prayer. (Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 22/559).

Not raising one's gaze to the heavens

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to
do this and issued a warning against it. He said: "When any one of
you is praying, he should not lift his gaze to the heavens, lest he
lose his sight." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/294; Saheeh al-Jaami', no.
762). According to another report, he said: "What is wrong with
people who lift their gaze to the heavens whilst they are praying?"
According to another report, he said: "that they raise their gaze
when they make du'aa' during salaah?" (Reported by Muslim, no. 429).
He spoke out strongly against it, to the extent that he said, "Let
them stop it, or their eyesight will be taken away." (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad, 5/258; Saheeh al-Jaami', 5574).

Not spitting in front of one when praying

This is incompatible with khushoo' and good manners before Allaah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When
any one of you is praying, let him not spit in front of himself, for
Allaah is before him when he prays." (Reported by al-Bukhaari in his
Saheeh, no. 397).

He also said: "When any one of you stands up to pray, he should not
spit in front of himself, because he is talking to Allaah – may He be
blessed and exalted – as long as he is in his prayer place; and he
should not [spit] to his right, because there is an angel on his
right. He should spit to his left, or beneath his feet, and bury it."
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 416, 1/512).

He said: "When one of you stands to pray, he is talking to his Lord,
and his Lord is between him and the qiblah, so none of you should
spit in the direction of his qiblah, but to his left or under his
feet." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath al-Baari, no. 417, 1/513).

If the mosque is furnished with carpets and so on, as is the norm
nowadays, if a person needs to spit, he can take out a handkerchief
or whatever, spit into it, and put it away again.

Trying not to yawn when praying

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "If any one of you feels the urge to yawn during prayer, let
him suppress it as much as he can, lest the Shaytaan enter…"
(Reported by Muslim, 4/2293). If the Shaytaan enters, he will be more
able to disturb the worshipper's khushoo', in addition to laughing at
him when he yawns.

Not putting one's hands on one's hips when praying

Abu Hurayrah said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) forbade putting the hands on the hips during
prayer." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 947; Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab
al-`Aml fi'l-Salaah, Baab al-Hadhr fi'l-Salaah).

Ziyaad ibn Subayh al-Hanafi said: "I prayed beside Ibn `Umar and I
put my hand on my hip, but he struck my hand. When he had finished
praying, he said, "This is crossing in prayer. The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to forbid
this." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/106 and others. Classed as saheeh
by al-Haafiz al-`Iraaqi in Takhreej al-Ihyaa'. See al-Irwaa', 2/94).

It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said that this posture is how the people of Hell rest; we
seek refuge with Allaah from that. (Reported by al-Bayhaqi from Abu
Hurayrah. Al-`Iraaqi said, its isnaad appears to be saheeh).

Not letting one's clothes hang down (sadl) during prayer

It was reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) forbade letting one's clothes hang down during
prayer or for a man to cover his mouth. (Reported by Abu Dawood, no.
643; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 6883. He said, this is a hasan hadeeth).
In `Awn al-Ma'bood (2/347) al-Khattaabi said: "Al-sadl: letting one's
clothes hang down all the way to the ground." It was reported in
Marqaat al-Mafaateeh (2/236): "Al-sadl is completely forbidden
because it has to do with showing off, and in prayer it is even
worse." The author of al-Nihaayah said: "It means wrapping oneself up
in one's garment, leaving one's hands inside and bowing and
prostrating in it." It was said that the Jews used to do this. It was
also said that al-sadl meant putting the garment over one's head or
shoulders, and letting its edges come down in front and over one's
upper arms, so that a person will be preoccupied in taking care of
it, which reduces khushoo', unlike garments that are tied up properly
or buttoned, which do not distract the worshipper or affect his
khushoo'. These kinds of clothes are still to be found nowadays in
some parts of Africa and elsewhere, and in the way some Arabian
cloaks are worn, which distract the worshipper and keep him busy
adjusting them, retying them if they become loose and so on. This
should be avoided.

The reason why it is forbidden to cover one's mouth was explained by
the scholars as being because that prevents a person from reciting
Qur'aan and doing sujood properly. (Marqaat al-Mafaateeh, 2/236).

Not resembling animals

Allaah has honoured the son of Adam and created him in the best way,
so it is shameful for the son of Adam to resemble or imitate animals.
We have been forbidden to resemble or imitate a number of postures or
movements of animals when we pray, because that is contrary to
khushoo' or because it is ugly and does not befit the worshipper who
is praying. For example, it was reported that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade three things in
prayer: pecking like a crow, spreading one's forearms like a
carnivore, or always praying in the same place like a camel keeping
to its own territory. (Reported by Ahmad, 3/428). It was said that
when a man always prays in the same place in the mosque, making it
his own, it is like a camel keeping to its own territory. (Al-Fath al-
Rabaani, 4/91). According to another report: "He forbade me to peck
like a cockerel, to sit like a dog or to turn like a fox." (Reported
by Imaam Ahmad, 2/311; Saheeh al-Targheeb, no. 556).

This is what we were able to mention about the means of attaining
khushoo', so that we may strive for them, and about the things that
detract from khushoo', so that we can avoid them.

There is another issue that has to do with khushoo', to which the
scholars attached so much importance that it is worthy of mention
here:

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Good manners at home

(21) Spreading kindness in the home.

`Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: `When
Allaah – may He be glorified – wills some good towards the people of
a household, He introduces kindness among them.'" (Reported by Imaam
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami', 303). According to
another report: "When Allaah loves the people of a household, He
introduces kindness among them." (Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and
others; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 1704). In other words, they start to be
kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness
in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and
with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through
harshness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Allaah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He
does not reward for harshness or for anything else." (Reported by
Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr wa'l-Sillah wa'l-Aadaab, no. 2592).

(22) Helping one's wife with the housework.

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think
that it will undermine their status and position if they help their
wives with this work.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do
whatever other work men do in their homes." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad
in al-Musnad, 6/121; Saheeh al-Jaami', 4927).

This was said by his wife `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her),
when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house; her
response described what she herself had seen. According to another
report, she said: "He was like any other human being: he would clean
his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." (Reported by Imaam
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671). She (may
Allaah be pleased with her) was also asked about what the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in
his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the
time for prayer came, he would go out to pray." (Reported by al-
Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162).

If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:

We would be following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him)

We would be helping our wives

We would feel more humble, not arrogant.

Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on
the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up
the child or wait a little while for the food. Let these ahaadeeth be
a reminder and a lesson.

(23) Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the
family.

Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the
things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and
friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Jaabir to marry a virgin,
saying, "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her
and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she
could make you laugh?" (The hadeeth is reported in a number of places
in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: "Everything in
which Allaah's name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for
four things: a man playing with his wife…" (Reported by al-Nisaa'i
in `Ushrat al-Nisa', p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaami'). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat his
wife `Aa'ishah affectionately when doing ghusl with her, as she (may
Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allaah and I used
to do ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take
all the water so that I would say, `Leave some for me, leave some for
me,'" – and both of them were in a state of janaabah (impurity).
(Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 4/6).

The ways in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) showed affection towards young children are too famous to need
mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hasan and
Husayn, as mentioned above. This is probably one of the reason why
the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they
would rush to welcome him, as reported in the saheeh
hadeeth: "Whenever he came back from a journey, the children of his
household would be taken out to meet him." He (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) used to hug them close to him, as `Abd-Allaah ibn
Ja;far said: "Whenever the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet
him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in
front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah."
(Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi,
8/56).

Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there
are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes that do not involve lying], no
affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes
against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following hadeeth:
from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
kissed al-Hasan ibn `Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was
sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: `I have ten children and I have
never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at him and said: `The one who
does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"

(24) Resisting bad manners in the home.

Every member of the household is bound to have some bad
characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on.
These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed.

Some people think that corporal punishment is the only way to deal
with such things. The following hadeeth is very educational on this
topic: from `Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: "If
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try
to ignore him until he repented." (See al-Musnad by Imaam Ahmad,
6/152. The text of the hadeeth is also in Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 4675).

It is clear from the hadeeth that turning away and forsaking a person
by not speaking to them, rather than resorting to punishment, is
effective in such circumstances, and may be more effective than
physical punishment, so let parents and caregivers think about this.

(25) "Hang up the whip where the members of the household can see
it." (Reported by Abu Na'eem in al-Hilyah, 7/332; al-Silsilat al-
Saheehah, no. 1446).

Hinting at punishment is an effective means of discipline, so the
reason for hanging up a whip or stick in the house was explained in
another report, where the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Hang up the whip where the members of the household
can see it, for this is more effective in disciplining them."
(Reported by al-Tabaraani, 10/344-345; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no.
1447)

Seeing the means of punishment hanging up will make those who have
bad intentions refrain from indulging in bad behaviour, lest they get
a taste of the punishment. It will motivate them to behave themselves
and be good-mannered. Ibn al-Anbaari said: "There is nothing to
suggest that it should be used for hitting, because [the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] did not command anyone
to do that. What he meant was: keep on disciplining them." (See Fayd
al-Qadeer by al-Mannaawi, 4/325).

Hitting is not the way to discipline; it is not to be resorted to,
except when all other means are exhausted, or when it is needed to
force someone to do obligatory acts of obedience, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): "… As to those women on whose part
you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share
their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)…" [al-
Nisa' 4:34] – in that order. There is also the hadeeth: "Order your
children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them if they
do not do so when they are ten." (Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/334; see also
Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 1/266).

As for hitting unnecessarily, this is aggression. The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised a woman
not to marry a man because he always had his stick on his shoulder,
i.e., he used to beat his wives. On the other hand, there are those
who think that they should never use this method of discipline at
all, following some kaafir educational theories; this is also a
mistaken opinion that goes against the sharee'ah.

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Evils in the home

Beware of non-mahrem relatives entering upon women when their
husbands are absent.

Men and women should sit separately during family visits.

Be aware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in
the house.

Kick immoral people out of your houses.

Beware of the dangers of TV.

Beware of the evils of the telephone.

You have to remove everything that contains symbols of the false
religions of the kuffaar or their gods and objects of worship.

Removing pictures of animate beings.

Do not allow smoking in your homes.

Do not keep dogs in your homes.

Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).

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The home inside and out

Choosing a good location and design of home.

No doubt the true Muslim pays attention to the choice and design of a
home in ways that others do not.

With regard to location, for example:

The home should be close to a mosque. This has obvious advantages:
the call to prayer will remind people of prayer and wake them up for
it; living close to the mosque will enable men to join the
congregational prayers, women to listen to the Qur'aan recitation and
dhikr over the mosque's loudspeakers, and children to join study-
circles for memorization of Qur'aan, and so on.

The home should not be in a building where there are immoral people,
or in a compound where kuffaar live and where there is a mixed
swimming pool and so on.

The house should not overlook others or be overlooked; if it is, he
should put up curtains and make walls and fences higher.

With regard to design and lay out, for example:

He should pay attention to the matter of segregating men and women
when non-mahrams come to visit, e.g. separate entrances and sitting
areas. If that cannot be done, then use should be made of curtains,
screens and so on.

Covering windows, so that neighbours or people in the street will not
be able to see who is in the house, especially at night when the
lights are on.

The toilets should not be sited in such a way that one faces the
qiblah when using them.

Choosing a spacious house with plenty of amenities. This is for a
number of reasons:

"Allaah loves to see the signs of His blessings on His slave."
(Hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2819. He said: This is a hasan
hadeeth).

"There are three elements of happiness and three elements of misery.
The elements of happiness are: a righteous wife, who when you see her
she pleases you, and when you are absent from her you feel that you
can trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a compliant
riding-beast that helps you to keep up with your companions; and a
house that is spacious and has plenty of amenities. The elements of
misery are: a wife who when you see her you feel upset, she keeps
attacking you verbally, and when you are absent from her you do not
feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a
stubborn riding-beast that if whip it, you get tired, and if you do
not whip it, it does not help you to keep up with your companions;
and a house with few amenities." (Hadeeth narrated by al-Haakim,
3/262; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 3056).

Paying attention to health-related matters such as ventilation,
natural light and so on. These matters depend on financial ability
and feasibility.

(38) Choosing the neighbour before the house.

This is a matter which has to be singled out for discussion because
of its importance.

Nowadays neighbours have more impact on one another, because houses
are closer together and people live together in buildings, apartments
and compounds.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
told us of four causes of happiness, one of which is a righteous
neighbour, and four causes of misery, one of which is a bad
neighbour. (Reported by Abu Na'eem in al-Hilyah, 8/388; Saheeh al-
Jaami', 887). Because of the seriousness of the latter, the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek refuge with
Allaah from bad neighbours in his du'aa': "Allaahumma innee a'oodhu
bika min jaar al-soo' fi daar il-muqaamah fa inna jaar al-baadiyah
yatahawwil (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from a bad neighbour in
my permanent home, for the neighbour in the desert [i.e. on a
journey] moves on)." He commanded the Muslims to seek refuge with
Allaah from a bad neighbour in a permanent home because the neighbour
in the desert will eventually move on. (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-
Adab al-Mufrad, no. 117; Saheeh al-Jaami', 2967).

There is no room here to talk about the influence a bad neighbour may
have on a couple and their children, or the kinds of nuisance he can
cause, or the misery of living next to him. But applying these
ahaadeeth quoted above to one's own life should be sufficient for the
one who is possessed of understanding. Another practical solution is
that implemented by some good people who rent neighbouring homes for
their families, so as to solve the neighbour problem. This may be an
expensive solution, but a good neighbour is priceless.

(39) Paying attention to necessary repairs in the home, and making
sure that the amenities are in good working order.

Among the blessings of Allaah in this modern age are the "mod cons"
that He has bestowed upon us, which make many things easier and save
time, such as air-conditioners, fridges, washing-machines and so on.
It is wise to have the best quality of appliances that one can
afford, without being extravagant or putting oneself under financial
strain. We should also be careful to distinguish between useful
extras and extravagant additions that have no real value.

Part of caring for the home includes fixing appliances and amenities
that break down. Some people neglect these things, and their wives
complain about homes crawling with vermin, with overflowing drains
and piles of stinking garbage, filled with broken and worn out
furniture.

No doubt this is one of the obstacles to happiness in the home, and
causes problems in the marriage and health problems. The smart person
is the one who hastens to fix these things.

Paying attention to the family's health and safety procedures.

When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would blow on them and
recite al-Mi'wadhatayn (last two soorahs of the Qur'aan). (Reported
by Muslim, no. 2192).

When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and
it would be made for him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he
would say, "It will strengthen the heart of the one who is grieving
and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick just as any one
of you wipes the dirt from her face." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no.
2039; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 4646).

One of the ways of taking safety precautions is:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "When evening comes, keep your children inside, for the
shayaateen (devils) spread out at that time. Then when an hour of the
night has passed, let your children go, lock the doors and mention
the name of Allaah, cover your pots and mention the name of
Allaah,even if you only place a stick across the top of your vessel,
and extinguish your lamps." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 10/88-
89).

According to a report narrated by Muslim, he (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Lock your doors, cover your vessels,
extinguish your lamps and tie your knots properly [i.e., cover your
jugs properly – in those days they would cover them with a piece of
cloth and tie it], for the Shaytaan does not open a door that is
closed, or uncover something that is covered, or untie a knot that
you tie. And the mouse could set the house on fire (i.e. it could
pull out the wick of the lamp and set the house on fire)." (Reported
by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/103); Saheeh al-Jaami', 1080).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do not
leave fires lit in your houses when you go to sleep." (Reported by al-
Bukhaari, al-Fath, 11/85).

And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

[AbuMubarak]

The Sins Of Youth
From : Al-Haramain .org

In this issue we feature sins and their harmful effects. Some special mention is needed regarding young Muslims, especially those in their teenage years.

It is often taken for granted that these are the years of carelessness and not those of serious thought. This is not an Islamic position. Indeed we find youth in the time of the Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) performing heroic deeds and very serious in their practice and dedication. Examples such as Ali Ibn Abi Taalib, Ibn Abbaas, Anas Ibn Malik, Usaamah Ibn Zaid, Mus'ab Ibn 'Umayr, Ammaar Ibn Yaasir and others (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een) will be forever remembered for their sacrifices and willingness to give their lives in the cause of Islam at tender ages.This is a character assessment checklist aimed at the youth to assist them in making their own assessment of themselves and decide if changes in their character are in order. Parents too can use it as a gauge.

In fact, what is listed are sins certainly not limited to youth. Each point is an interrelated sin that either weakens eemaan or comes from weak eemaan. Some stem from others while others lead to something worse. Possessing any of them makes change necessary because to continue doing them may lead to worse sin, hypocrisy and disbelief. It may not seem like it, but even you, as young as you are, could face death at any moment. Do you want to meet Allah in a sorry moral condition? One step toward correction is recognizing one’s faults and setting out to do the opposite.

A second step is honestly seeking Allaha help and asking His forgiveness. There have been people who commit terrible sins and Allah has guided and forgiven them after true repentance and struggle with themselves. Certainly you can too.

Look at yourself and ask yourself if you do any of the following:

1. Lie to and disobey parents .

2. Raise your voice to or abuse parents or other family members.

3. Disregard the advice of parents.

4. Disrespect adults.

5. Break your promises.

6. Insult the opposite sex.

7.Freely mix with the opposite sex by flirting or looking lustfully at them Backbite and gossip.

8.Look at bad movies and listen to music, especially sexually explicit types or that have a lot of profanity.

9.Use profanity Lie or steal.

10. Devise ways to avoid anything Islamic.

11. Spend your money on what is haraam.

12.Think mostly of yourself and little of others .

13.Do as little as you can to assist in the home.

14.Put minimum effort into schoolwork.

15.Imitate, respect or love the ways and manners of kuffaar.

16. Act hard with Muslims and easy with kuffaar .

17. Smoke or do drugs.

18. Mostly keep company with weak and sinful Muslims or kuffaar.

18. Waste a lot of time and never study the deen.

19. Find it easy to do wrong and difficult to do right.

20. Hate to be reminded of religious duties.

21. Feel little or no sense of shame or modesty.

22. Hate proper hijaab.

23. Do not enjoy listening to the Quran.

24. Only try to learn Arabic or how to recite the Quraan if pressured.

25 . Donât go to the masjid or consistently go late to prayer (for males) when there is no obstacle to doing so regularly and on time.

26. Dislike going to prayers or concentrate little in them and hurry to get them over with.

27.Rarely give charity or gifts.

28. Avoid the company of striving Muslims.

29. Rarely or never make extra (sunnah) prayers

Read anything else other than the Quraan or authentic hadeeth that is of little or no value or haram.

30 . Read the Quraan or the hadeeth only if forced to Attend circles of Islamic knowledge only if forced and pay little attention.

31. when you do Never give thanks, seek forgiveness from Allah nor seek refuge from wrong doing.

32 . Dont use the faulty logic that I am young so I want to enjoy as much as I can before I get old and I will ask forgiveness before I die!

Such people almost never change on their own. They usually get worse because sins become a part of their character that they can no more rid themselves of than they could the noses on their faces. Being good or right according to Islam has absolutely no importance in their lives. Almost anything else is more important than their religion and they couldnt care less about how Allah sees them. They may even be ashamed to be Muslim! This is a sure sign that they are headed for the worst fate if they dont change.

You are a Muslim and you must not take a defeated attitude or think that your sins affect you only. When the Muslims complain of their position or situation it is because there are too many of them who take the attitude that Islam is not the number one concern in their lives and it is not important to follow or that its for old people. Are you a part of the problem or part of the solution? Practicing Islam to the fullest is a cause for great inner joy, satisfaction and happiness and totally eliminates the desire or need for any other means to feel good, better or best.

May Allah help you to be the kind of youth that all Muslims can be proud of and not ashamed of or whom they disdain. We pray that you are a boon and not a burden to Islam and the Muslims.

This can only occur if you are first a youth that Allah taala is pleased with.

[AbuMubarak]

Dilemma Facing the Youth


Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen rahimahullaah

Published by Idara Isha'at-e-Diniyat (P) Ltd.

It gives me great pleasure to present to my brothers a very serious problem not only in Islaamic society but in every society, and that is the problem facing the youth in this age. The hearts of the youth are sick with psychological problems which sometimes makes them uneasy with life and they spend their energies in trying to free themselves from those difficulties and removing that sorrow.

The removal of the difficulties will will never take place except with Deen (Religion) and character in which there is the strengthening of society and the betterment of this world and the hereafter. With this (religion and character), goodness and blessings will descend and evil and calamities will end.

Countries do prosper except with the help of its citizens and religion does not gain strength except with its followers. When the followers of Islaam will stand up for it, Allaah will help them no matter how many enemies they have.

Allaah Ta'ala says: "O believers, if you help Allaah's cause, he will help you and make your feet firm (against your enemies) and those who disbelieved, woe unto them and their actions are in vain." [47:7,8]

If Deen (religion) cannot be strong except with it's followers, then it is necessary for us, the followers of Islaam and it's flag-bearers, that we firstly strengthen ourselves so that we may become worthy of leadership and guidance. It is imperative that we learn from the book of Allaah (The Qur'aan) and the Sunnah of His Rasool (Messenger) sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam which will equip us for speech, action, guiding and inviting. This will enable us to carry the weapons of the guidance of Islaam to all those who seek the truth and also to wield it against all those who seek falsehood. Then it is neccesary for us to put into practice what we have learnt from the Qur'aan and Sunnah, on the basis of Eemaan (faith), conviction and sincerity our character should not be one of speech only because if speech is not backed up by action, it's effect will not extend beyond the speaker and this speech will have an opposite effect: "O believers, why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful in the sight of Allaah that you say that which you do not practice." [61:2-3]

It is most appropriate for us that we start at the beginning and ponder over our youth and their thoughts and actions, so that we may increase those which are good and correct those who are incorrect because the youth of today are the men (and women) of tomorrow and they are the foundation on which a future nation will be built. It is for this reason that the text of the Sharee'ah (Islaamic Law) has encouraged giving the youth due consideration and directing them to which is good and correct. They are the basis of the Ummah of which it's future will be built and if their reformation is grounded upon the strong pillars of the Deen (Religion) and character, there will be a brilliant future for this Ummah, if Allaah wills.

A glance at the youth If we closely examine the the youth, it will be possible for us to conclude that the youth are generally of three types:

Rightly guided youth,

deviated or perverted youth and

youth who are confused (between evil and good).

The First Type

Rightly guided youth are:

Youth who firmly believe in all the implications of this Kalima (the shahadatain). They termly believe in their Deen (Religion). Eemaan (Faith) is beloved to them and they are content and satisfied with their Eemaan. They consider aquiring Imaam as a profit and deprivation from it as a big loss. Youth who worship Allaah sincerely. They worship Allaah alone who has no partner.

Youth who follow the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam practically in his speech and action because they believe that he is the Messenger of Allaah and the leader of all Messengers.

Youth who establish salah (Prayer) perfectly to the best of their ability, because they believe in the benefit and the religious, worldly and social merit found in prayer and the dangerous consequences of neglecting salah for both the individual andd the nation.

Youth who give Zakah in full to those who are deserving of it, because they believe that Zakah fulfils the needs of Islaam and it is one of the five Pillars of Islaam.

Youth who fast during the month of Ramadaan. They stop themselves from their desires and cravings, whether it is summer or winter because they believe that actions are for the pleasure of Allaah. Thus they give preference to that which pleases Allaah over that which they desire.

Youth who perform the compulsory duty of Hajj (Pilgrimage) to the sacred house of Allaah because they love Allaah. Thus they love the house of Allaah and they love going to the places of his mercy and forgiveness and collaborating with his Muslim brothers who come to these places.

Youth who believe in Allaah who is their Creator and the Creator of the skies and the earth, because they see from amongst the signs of Allaah that which leaves no doubt even for a moment whatsoever in the existence and being of Allaah. They see in this vast unique universe, in the form and system of the universe, that which clearly indicates towards the existence of it's Creator and His total power and complete wisdom, because it is not possible for this universe to come into existence on it's own, nor is it possible for it to come into existence coincidentally.

The reason for this is that the universe was non-existent before it was brought into existence, and that which is non-existent cannot bring anything into existence, because it itself is non-existent. It is not possible that the universe camee into existence coincidentally because it has a unique well-arranged system, which does not change nor deviate from the procedure predestined for it. "You will never find a change in the system of Allaah." [33:62] "You will never fmd any reversal in the system of Allaah." [35:43] "You will not see in the creation of the most gracious any disparity, so turn your vision again. Do you see any rupture? Then turn your vision again, a second time, your vision will return to you dull an in a state of fatigue." [67:3-4] The fact that this universe has a unique, well-arranged system, prevents it's existence being coincidental. That which is in existence coincidentally will also have a system which is coincidental, which is likely to change or be disturbed in a short period of time.

Youth who believe in the angels of Allaah because Allaah has given information regarding them (the angels) in his book the Qur'aan and his Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has given information regarding to in the Sunnah (the traditions). The Qur'aan and Sunnah explain their qualities, their worship and their actions to which they rigidly stick to for the goodness of the creation. This clearly points to the existence of the angels.

Youth who believe in the Books of Allaah. Allaah revealed these books to his Messengers as a source of guidance for the creation towards the straight path. It is not possible for the mind of man to understand the intricacies of worship and social life except with the books of Allaah.

Youth who believe in the prophets and Messengers of Allaah whom Allaah sent to his creation to call them towards good and enjoin them with good and prevent them from evil so that people do not have any proof against Allaah after the sending of prophets. The very first Messenger was Nooh alayhis-salam and the last Messenger was Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

Youth who believe in the last day in which people will be resurrected after dying, so they may be compensed for their actions. Whoever does good equal to an atom, will reap it, and whoever does evil equal to an atom, will reap it. This is the consequence of this world, otherwise what is the benefit of life and what is the wisdom of life if there is no day for the creation in which the doer of good will be compensated for his good, and the perpetrator of evil, punished for his evil?

Youth who believe in the predestination of good and evil. Thus they believe that everything is with the decree of Allaah and his divine foreordainment. This is despite their belief in causes and their related effects and that for both good and evil there are means. Youth who adhere to the advice of Allaah, His Messengers, His book, the leaders of the Muslims and the general masses. They interact with Muslims with frankness and openness - the way it is incumbent upon them. They neither mislead, deceive nor conceal anything.

Youth who call towards Allaah with deep insight, in accordance to the manner Allaah has laid down in his book. "Call towards the path of your Sustainer with wisdom and sound advice and debate with them in a manner that is befitting." [16:125]

Youth who enjoin good and forbid from evil because they believe that in this is the success of the nation. "You are the best of nations, taken out for the guidance of mankind. You enjoin good and forbid from evil and you have full faith in Allaah." [3:110]

Youth who strive in the changing of evil in the way established by the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "Whomsoever from amongst you see an evil he should change it with his hand. If he does not have the power to do this, then he should change it with his tongue. If he does not have the ability to do even this, then he should change it with his heart (by scheming in the eradication of this evil)." (Hadith)

Youth who speak the truth and accept the truth, because truth leads to good and good leads to paradise. A person will continue being truthful and pursue the truth until Allaah records him as being a truthful person.

Youth who love good for the general Muslims because they believe in the saying of An-Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "None from amongst you can be a true believer until he loves for his (Muslim) brother that which he loves for himself." (Hadith)

A teenager who is cognizant of his responsiblity to Allaah and his nation. He strives always for the goodness of his Deen (Religion), his nation and homeland, keeping far from egoism and far from giving consideration to his own good at the expense of the good of others.

A teenager who strives for the pleasure of Allaah and with the help of Allaah in the path of Allaah. He strives with sincerity without pride or want of reputation. He strikes with the help of Allaah without being conceited and without depending on his own might and power. He strives in the path of Allaah for the upliftment of his Deen without exceeding the bounds and without laxity. He strives with his tongue, hand and wealth in the manner that the needs of Islaam, and the Muslims demand of him.

Youth who have character and Deen in them, thus they are of refined character, religion, gentle, liberal, noble-minded. clean-hearted, steadfast, enduring and resolute. They do not waste any opportunity nor do they let compassion overcome intelligence and the need for reformation.

A teenager who is systematic. He works with wisdom and silence despite being firm and excellent in his work. He does not waste any opportunity but instead occupies himself in actions which are beneficial for him and his nation. Together with this, this teenager safe-guards his Deen, character and conduct. Thus he is extremely distant from those qualities which contradict this, like kufr (disbelief), apostasy, inequity, disobedience, lowly character and evil mutual relations.

These types of youth are the pride of a nation and a symbol of it's prosperity and Deen. These are the youth who will obtain the good of this world and the hereafter. They are the youth who we hope that Allaah, with his grace, will use to rectify the corruption amongst the Muslims and illuminate the spiritual path of the seekers of truth.

The Second Type

The second type of teenager is the one who is corrupt in his beliefs, irresponsible in his conduct, himself misled, ingulfed in vice.

He does not accept the truth from anyone nor does he refrain from falsehood and he is selfish in his conduct.

He is a teenager who is stubborn.

He does not yield to the truth nor does he renounce falsehood.

He does not care about his neglect of the rights of man nor the rights of Allaah.

He is a confused teenager bereft of impartiality in his thinking and in his behaviour.

Likewise he lacks balance in all his affairs.

A teenager who is conceited with his own opinion as if truth flows from his tongue. He, in his opinion, is free from mishaps, while others are a source of mistakes and slip-ups as long as they contradict his opinion.

A teenager who has turnned away from the straight path in his deen and the accepted norms of conduct. The evil of his conduct has been made alluring to him. Therefore he regards it as virtuous. Thus he is the greatest of losers in respect of his deeds.

These are the ones whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they presumed that they were doing good. He is an evil omen upon himself and a misfortune for his society, one who is driving his nation towards the lowest stage. He is a barrier between his nation and their respect and munificence, a lethal influence, difficult to treat - except if Allaah wishes. Allaah has power over everything.

The Third Type

The third type of teenager is he who is confused and doubtful. He recognises the truth and is content with it. He lives in a guarded society except that the doors of evil have opened up for him from every direction. This has created doubt in his beliefs, deviation in his conduct, weakness in his action, a foray from known practices and an influx of diverse falsehood. Thus he is in eternal thought and inner search. Opposing this influx or movement (of falsehood) is uncertainty. He does not know whether the truth lies in the prevailing idealogies or in the way of his pious predecessors and his safeguarded society. He is thus in doubt - sometimes he accords preference to one side and sometimes the next according to the strength of the influx of these thoughts.

This type of teenager is passive in his life. He is in need of captivating strength which will guide him towards the enclosure of truth and the path of goodness. How easy will this be if Allaah does not prepare for him a person who calls towards good, who is wise, knowledgeable and of good intentions?

These types of teenagers are found in abundance. They obtain a smattering of Islaamic education but they acquire much more secular knowlege which conflicts with the basics of Deen either in reality or in their presumptions. Thus they are helpless between the two cultures. It is possible for them to gain liberation from this helplessness by establishing themselves upon Islaamic education and acquiring this education from it's original sources - the book of All