AbuMubarak
04-07-02, 12:50 PM
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah
Fatwaa from “Al-Masaa’il ul-Maardeeniyyah”
Translated by Aboo `Abdillaah Muhammad al-Jibaalee
Hudaa, November 1995
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:
That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others.
That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.
People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said:
"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
Thus the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa'ishah, radhiallahu `anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered:
"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?
Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.
As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.
And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.
Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah ta`ala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah ta`ala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.islaam.com/Article.asp?id=405
The young lady is not to be forced to marry a man
she does not want to marry
Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Is it allowed for a father to force his daughter to marry a specific man that she does not want to many?
Response: Neither the father nor anyone other than the father may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not want to many. In fact, her permission must be sought. The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((The non-virgin [without a husband] must not be married until she is consulted. A virgin must not be married until her permission is sought)).
They said: "O Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) how is her permission given?" He said:
((By her being silent)).
Another narration states:
((Her silence is her permission)).
Yet a third narration states:
((A virgin's father seeks her permission and her permission is her remaining silent)).
The father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Similarly, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon all of them. If one is married without permission, then the marriage is not valid. This is because one of the conditions of the marriage is that both partners accept the marriage. If she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is not valid.
The only exception is in the case of the father and his daughter who is less than nine years of age. There is no harm if he gets her married while she is less than nine years old, according to the correct opinion. This is based on the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) marrying ‘Aa.ishah without her consent when she was less than nine years old, as is stated in authentic hadeeth. However, if she is nine years old or more, she cannot be married, even by her father, except with her consent.
The husband should not approach the woman if he knows that she does not want him, even if the father approves of it. He must fear Allaah and not approach any wife that did not want him even if her father claims that he did not coerce her. He must avoid what Allaah has forbidden for him. This is because the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) ordered that her permission must be sought. We also advise the woman to fear Allaah and to accept the man if her father finds that he is suitable to marry her, as long as the prospective groom is good in his religion and character. This is true even if the one who is doing the marrying is not the girl's father [but her legal guardian]. We make this advice because there is lots of good and lot of benefits in marriage.
Also, there are lots of hazards in living as a maiden. I advise all young ladies to accept those men who come to them if they are qualified. They should not use schooling, teaching or other causes as an excuse to avoid marriage.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/interview/9991018_23.htm
Woman’s right to refuse marriage to someone
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question:
I have a question for my friend. She is 17 years old and they just moved here from their home country and her guardians and mom want her to marry her cousin who lived in their same house back home but this girl really refuses to marry him because she dislikes for some reason and she is begging and crying in front of her mother not to make her marry him. This girl is saying she will not be happy with him
My question is does any girl have the RIGHT to say no for her marriage if she does not like the man? This girl is Islamic and going to school and she doesn't know anybody to talk to but she really doesn’t want to marry him and her mother is utterly pressuring her by telling her she will die and she will be destroyed if she doesn’t marry this guy and her mother is telling her that nobody will marry her because she is not beautiful and rich.
Sorry it was long question but please reply me as soon as possible.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). This situation about which this sister is asking is a common one and occurs often as a result of a clash of desires between parents and their daughter. It could be for a benefit or interest the mother or father sees and the young woman doesn’t, and each regards the issue from a different perspective or with a particular consideration. And perhaps the opinion of the parents is the appropriate and correct one as a result of their prior trials and longer experience in life, and perhaps the woman sometimes looks to the appearance of the groom more than anything else, whereas the parents may look to other considerations, such as his family status, or his long-term career or employment. Of course none of this means that the woman’s opinion isn’t sometimes more correct and preferable, particularly when the opinion of the parents stems from a benefit they may realize if the marriage is accomplished, and they do not actually make the priority their daughter who is the most important thing in this issue. And while being vigilant in advising you of the importance of obeying one’s parents and struggling with oneself to realize their wishes and desires and giving their opinion the priority, the point must clearly be made that the following two hadeeth from the Prophet (peace be upon him) must be abided by and carried out, as within them are the complete answer to your question and questions from others in similar situations:
The first hadeeth:
If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami’ #270). (“fitna” here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred)
The second:
Buraida (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a young woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son (i.e. her cousin) in order to raise his standing among the people,” so the Prophet (peace be upon him) put the matter in her hands (i.e. asserted that the validity of the marriage is conditioned on her approval and negated by her refusal). So she said, “I authorize and endorse what he has done but I wanted women to know that fathers cannot force their will in these matters.”
And it was narrated by Nisaa’I via Abdullah ibn Buraida via Aa’isha that a young woman came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his standing among the people and I am unwilling (to agree to it)”, so she said, “Sit until the Prophet (peace be upon him) comes.” So the Prophet (peace be upon him) came and she informed him of the situation, so he sent for her father and invited him (over) and asserted that the matter is in the bride’s hands. So she said, “Oh Prophet of Allah I have authorized and endorsed what my father has done, but I wanted to know if women had a say in the matter or not.” (Sunan al-Nisaa’I, Kitaab al-Nikaah min Sunanihi and it is sahih).
I ask Allah for you success and guidance to that in which there is blessings for you and your family, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A;
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds;=qa&lv;=browse&QR;=60&dgn;=3
Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question:
I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don't like the guy who she loves. Any suggestions??
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).
‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).
So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
Islam Q&A;
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds;=qa&lv;=browse&QR;=4602&dgn;=3
Fatwaa from “Al-Masaa’il ul-Maardeeniyyah”
Translated by Aboo `Abdillaah Muhammad al-Jibaalee
Hudaa, November 1995
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:
That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others.
That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.
People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said:
"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
Thus the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa'ishah, radhiallahu `anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered:
"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?
Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.
As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.
And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.
Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah ta`ala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah ta`ala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.islaam.com/Article.asp?id=405
The young lady is not to be forced to marry a man
she does not want to marry
Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Is it allowed for a father to force his daughter to marry a specific man that she does not want to many?
Response: Neither the father nor anyone other than the father may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not want to many. In fact, her permission must be sought. The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((The non-virgin [without a husband] must not be married until she is consulted. A virgin must not be married until her permission is sought)).
They said: "O Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) how is her permission given?" He said:
((By her being silent)).
Another narration states:
((Her silence is her permission)).
Yet a third narration states:
((A virgin's father seeks her permission and her permission is her remaining silent)).
The father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Similarly, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon all of them. If one is married without permission, then the marriage is not valid. This is because one of the conditions of the marriage is that both partners accept the marriage. If she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is not valid.
The only exception is in the case of the father and his daughter who is less than nine years of age. There is no harm if he gets her married while she is less than nine years old, according to the correct opinion. This is based on the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) marrying ‘Aa.ishah without her consent when she was less than nine years old, as is stated in authentic hadeeth. However, if she is nine years old or more, she cannot be married, even by her father, except with her consent.
The husband should not approach the woman if he knows that she does not want him, even if the father approves of it. He must fear Allaah and not approach any wife that did not want him even if her father claims that he did not coerce her. He must avoid what Allaah has forbidden for him. This is because the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) ordered that her permission must be sought. We also advise the woman to fear Allaah and to accept the man if her father finds that he is suitable to marry her, as long as the prospective groom is good in his religion and character. This is true even if the one who is doing the marrying is not the girl's father [but her legal guardian]. We make this advice because there is lots of good and lot of benefits in marriage.
Also, there are lots of hazards in living as a maiden. I advise all young ladies to accept those men who come to them if they are qualified. They should not use schooling, teaching or other causes as an excuse to avoid marriage.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marriage/interview/9991018_23.htm
Woman’s right to refuse marriage to someone
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question:
I have a question for my friend. She is 17 years old and they just moved here from their home country and her guardians and mom want her to marry her cousin who lived in their same house back home but this girl really refuses to marry him because she dislikes for some reason and she is begging and crying in front of her mother not to make her marry him. This girl is saying she will not be happy with him
My question is does any girl have the RIGHT to say no for her marriage if she does not like the man? This girl is Islamic and going to school and she doesn't know anybody to talk to but she really doesn’t want to marry him and her mother is utterly pressuring her by telling her she will die and she will be destroyed if she doesn’t marry this guy and her mother is telling her that nobody will marry her because she is not beautiful and rich.
Sorry it was long question but please reply me as soon as possible.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). This situation about which this sister is asking is a common one and occurs often as a result of a clash of desires between parents and their daughter. It could be for a benefit or interest the mother or father sees and the young woman doesn’t, and each regards the issue from a different perspective or with a particular consideration. And perhaps the opinion of the parents is the appropriate and correct one as a result of their prior trials and longer experience in life, and perhaps the woman sometimes looks to the appearance of the groom more than anything else, whereas the parents may look to other considerations, such as his family status, or his long-term career or employment. Of course none of this means that the woman’s opinion isn’t sometimes more correct and preferable, particularly when the opinion of the parents stems from a benefit they may realize if the marriage is accomplished, and they do not actually make the priority their daughter who is the most important thing in this issue. And while being vigilant in advising you of the importance of obeying one’s parents and struggling with oneself to realize their wishes and desires and giving their opinion the priority, the point must clearly be made that the following two hadeeth from the Prophet (peace be upon him) must be abided by and carried out, as within them are the complete answer to your question and questions from others in similar situations:
The first hadeeth:
If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami’ #270). (“fitna” here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred)
The second:
Buraida (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a young woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son (i.e. her cousin) in order to raise his standing among the people,” so the Prophet (peace be upon him) put the matter in her hands (i.e. asserted that the validity of the marriage is conditioned on her approval and negated by her refusal). So she said, “I authorize and endorse what he has done but I wanted women to know that fathers cannot force their will in these matters.”
And it was narrated by Nisaa’I via Abdullah ibn Buraida via Aa’isha that a young woman came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his standing among the people and I am unwilling (to agree to it)”, so she said, “Sit until the Prophet (peace be upon him) comes.” So the Prophet (peace be upon him) came and she informed him of the situation, so he sent for her father and invited him (over) and asserted that the matter is in the bride’s hands. So she said, “Oh Prophet of Allah I have authorized and endorsed what my father has done, but I wanted to know if women had a say in the matter or not.” (Sunan al-Nisaa’I, Kitaab al-Nikaah min Sunanihi and it is sahih).
I ask Allah for you success and guidance to that in which there is blessings for you and your family, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A;
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds;=qa&lv;=browse&QR;=60&dgn;=3
Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
(www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question:
I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don't like the guy who she loves. Any suggestions??
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).
‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).
So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
Islam Q&A;
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds;=qa&lv;=browse&QR;=4602&dgn;=3