Can a muslim woman move out of her parent's home? [Archive] - Ummah.com

AbuMubarak

12-06-04, 12:08 PM

( HONOURING PARENTS- B)

HONOURING PARENTS (i) Can you rejct choise of parensts (ii) Fathers right over son's weath (iii) Whom to Prefer Mother or wife? (iv) Parents refusing to accept your choice (v)What can
one do after the death of parents ?
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Do you have the right to opposed to the choice that your parents have choosen for you?.

Praise be to Allaah.

The basic principle is that one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of both parties, because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) which says that the Prophet SAW said: “A virgin cannot be married until her consent has been sought and a previously-married woman cannot be married until she has been consulted.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her consent?” He said, “If she remains silent.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419)

Consent is essential in the case of the husband, and also in the case of the wife. The parents have no right to force their son or their daughter to marry someone they do not want.

But if the person whom the parents have chosen is righteous, then the child, whether male or female, should obey the parents in that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 865).

But if obeying them will lead to divorce later on, then the child does not have to obey them in that, because consent is the foundation of the marital relationship, and this consent must be in accordance with sharee’ah, which is approval of the one who is religiously committed and of good character.

Shaykh Dr. Khaalid al-Mushayqih

A child is not considered to be disobedient or sinful if he does not obey his parents in this regard.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.

Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344.

According to a hadeeth about the father’s rights over his son, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” Does this apply to daughters who work and earn a good salary, if her father is not in any real need, so long as she is under his care?.
Praise be to Allaah.

This hadeeth includes both sons and daughters. This is also indicated by the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of that which you consume is that which you earn, and your children are part of that which you earn.” Narrated by the five. But that is subject to the condition that this does not cause any harm to the child, whether male or female, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “there should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” And there is other evidence which says the same thing. And the father should not take for the purpose of accumulation, rather he should just take what he needs.

May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions

To whom should a married man should give much preference, either his mother or wife?:

Praise be to Allaah.

The Muslim should always give preference to his mother, because it says in a hadeeth that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Who among the people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” …

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5514; Muslim, 4621).

But the wife takes precedence over the mother in one case, and that is the matter of spending. If the husband cannot afford to spend on both his wife and his mother because he is poor, then in this case he should put his wife before his mother. The Muslim has to give what is due to each person who has a right over him, and he has to help the one who is oppressed. If his mother mistreats his wife, he has to put a stop to it, in a kind and fair manner.

And Allaah knows best.

You proposed a girl but your parents refuse to accept

Praise be to Allaah.

You have to please your mother, and part of your honouring her is responding to her requests. But if your heart is attached to this girl, then you have to convince your mother to accept your marriage to her, especially if she is not giving any good reason for her objections. If she can give you a good reason, then look for someone else, and may Allaah compensate you with someone better. Whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.

If a person was disobedient towards his parents, and they died angry with him, how can he put things right so that they will not ask him to put it right in the Hereafter

There is no way to stop them asking him to put things right in the Hereafter, but now that he has felt regret for what he did, he should make lots of du;aa; for them and ask Allaah to forgive them, give charity on their behalf if he can, honour the friends etc, whom they loved, uphold their ties of kinship, pay off their debts and do whatever else he can.

From Fatawa al-Imaam al-Nawawi, p. 96. (www.islam-qa.com)
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Based on Q & A on Islam.qa.com
BROTHER IN ISLAM
KHALID BIN UMAR

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