Can potential spouses talk (if they are supervised)?

[AhmedSyed]

Salams,

Supposing we have a potential husband's family and a potential wife's family. They both want to look for a potential spouse.

So the next day the boy's family goes over to the house of the girl's family.

Question: Can the potential husband be allowed to go to the potential wife's house?

Question: Can they (the potential mates) have a conversation (that is supervised by both parties)?

I know very little about the correct way to find a bride/groom in Islam, so this is why I am asking you guys. And please do provide proper sources so that I can double check the authenticity.

Thanks.
Ws.

[seven]

you can do both so long as the girl has a mahram present (father, brother, uncle etc)

[ze leetle elper]

Ooooo who's house you going to eh? :D ;)

[Mary Carol]

Ooooo who's house you going to eh? :D ;)

Not mine...:)

...my mahrams only interest in me getting married is "What kind of game system does he have?"

pre-pubescent boys will be boys

[AhmedSyed]

Ooooo who's house you going to eh? :D ;)


Hopefully a ultra-hot-pious-good cooking-funny-athletic-caring-not big mouthed Muslimah :) INSHALLAH

Please make dua for me :help:

[AhmedSyed]

Not mine...:)

...my mahrams only interest in me getting married is "What kind of game system does he have?"

pre-pubescent boys will be boys

it makes all the difference, since he'll be spending his entire day on it most likely :D

[ze leetle elper]

Hopefully a ultra-hot-pious-good cooking-funny-athletic-caring-not big mouthed Muslimah :) INSHALLAH

Please make dua for me :help:

I see you don't ask for much then eh? :D

Don't worry, inshaAllah you will be fine, just eat the samosas and smile sweetly at the parents. ;)

Compliment the mum's cooking, talk gardening with the dad, and try not to choke on that samosa when the ultra-hot-pious-good cooking-funny-athletic-caring-not big mouthed Muslimah walks into the room.. :nuts:

[Mary Carol]

it makes all the difference, since he'll be spending his entire day on it most likely :D

Well, maybe not the entire day? :)

[AhmedSyed]

Well, maybe not the entire day? :)

Ya, maybe he will log on to Ummah.com! LOL! Then we can see Mr. Mariam :D

[AhmedSyed]

I see you don't ask for much then eh? :D

Don't worry, inshaAllah you will be fine, just eat the samosas and smile sweetly at the parents. ;)

Compliment the mum's cooking, talk gardening with the dad, and try not to choke on that samosa when the ultra-hot-pious-good cooking-funny-athletic-caring-not big mouthed Muslimah walks into the room.. :nuts:

I really need the advice, I'm not a socialite (if you couldn't tell already). I'm more of the reserved dude who cracks a good joke every few minutes. But ya, I'll try not to choke, but if I do, I sure hope the ultra-hot-pious-good cooking-funny-athletic-caring-not big mouthed Muslimah knows the hemlick menuver (sp?). :nuts:

[ze leetle elper]

Seriously...just try not to be nervous. :up:

If you do speak to her, try and compile a list of questions you may want to ask her, about herself, her deen or even her social life. :)

Be yourself, be honest and most important of all, try to empty your bowels before going to their house... :help:

[AhmedSyed]

try to empty your bowels before going to their house...

Sure, that chai stuff gets your bladder going.

I just hope "my side" will take the field when it comes time for question asking. I don't like being in the spotlight too long, I burn up. :help:

[ze leetle elper]

Factor 15 should do the trick. :D

Ahh, don't stress lol, I'm sure your parents know what you are like and will help you as much as possible. :)

Make sure you let us know how it goes! :nuts:

[AhmedSyed]

Ahh, don't stress lol, I'm sure your parents know what you are like and will help you as much as possible

ahahhahahhahahaa :rotfl:

My parents (in the name of modesty) will probably say that I...stay up too late (donno if thats a good thing when you are married)...wake up too late (not good) and spend too much time on Ummah! lol! :freedom:

[AhmedSyed]

Make sure you let us know how it goes!

Keep in mind that I have to first:

-Get into Med school
-Get a nice car
-Learn manners (ya right)
-Earn a good amount of cash (cuz my mom said she isn't helping with the whole wife expenses thing :( , which means major debt for me)

And lastly, it would amuse you to learn that I'm in high school, so ya, perhaps if you are willing to wait long enough I'd be able to tell ya.

[ze leetle elper]

Well you don't know what the future holds so keep your options open. ;)

And lastly, it would amuse you to learn that I'm in high school

Awwwwww bless, lemme pull your cheeks! :D

[AhmedSyed]

Awwwwww bless, lemme pull your cheeks! :D
*runs away screaming hysterically*

I like my cheeks :freedom:

[Abdullah al-Muhajir]

Good Lord, so that was why you were heading off so quickly to Pakistan. ;)

Hey dude, you rock good; getting married at 17. I wish I could. :(

[AhmedSyed]

Good Lord, so that was why you were heading off so quickly to Pakistan. ;)

Hey dude, you rock good; getting married at 17. I wish I could. :(
lol,

Naw I'm not exactly going to Pakistan for a "nikah" (I think it is called).

[ze leetle elper]

*runs away screaming hysterically*

I like my cheeks :freedom:
:nuts:

[AhmedSyed]

:nuts:
(The 'Ummahaholic')

Allah hu Akbar.

[ze leetle elper]

*ahem*

So give us the lowdown. :D ;)

[Raven]

try to empty your bowels before going to their house...

Sure, that chai stuff gets your bladder going.

I just hope "my side" will take the field when it comes time for question asking. I don't like being in the spotlight too long, I burn up. :help:
I'm not going to comment on that part, but let me give you some advice.

She's probably just as nervous as you are.

[ze leetle elper]

Even more so!

Because if you go to her house you will at least go in and sit down etc.

SHE has gotta come into the room, and the conversation will drop down to a whisper. :D

[nam]

Sallaam

just be yourself, i know its hard to do for some, but how hard can it be. Be polite and certious, respectful and have some fun. try to make her laugh and be bold if you want. Talk to her directly (this will most likely cause her parents to either think your really horny, a dirty pervert or disrespectful). However, she may think that a ) you have the balls to speak to her and are an open person.

Ok, i have given enough advice.

Allah HAfiz

Nam ("THere are 2 types of ppl in this world, those who enjoy farting and those who dont" 17/08/04)

[lonely_me]

I know this is not new for you to 'know' :D ..but... Islam recommends and encourages.. that a man sees the woman he wants to marry and talk to her in the presence of her mahrams, of course....The prophet (SAW) asked one of the righteous companions (Al-Mu-ghi-ra) to actually go see the lady he was about to marry and that's to develop some feelings towards each other... (Sparks a light!) ...There are rules of decency that should be followed strictly...by both parties (!)...like..an islamic environment...dressing modestly...etc... Collectively those rules save both men and women thier dignity...honor... and reputation...
In islam, Marriage is so sacred a contract (Quran 4:21) ...and... the engagement period should not be taken lightly as it kind of reflects the sort of marriages one is about to have. ..

...To be continued....

lol