What is a Jew?

[History]

I thought this was cute. For those with interest.
Respectfully,
History

What is a Jew?
by Zalman Velvel
--http://www.sssrealty.com/story/whatjew.htm

Good evening and thank you for coming tonight and showing your support of Chabad.

If you look around, you can see, our Founders' Dinners have been growing and include many different segments of our community. For those of you that are new to Chabad, let me personally welcome you, and calm your worst fear - you're not having a heart attack ... kosher food just takes longer to digest. Don't worry, the heartburn eventually goes away- around midnight - 2 days from now.

By the way, if you are really having a heart attack, don't worry, we seated a Jewish doctor at every table. And if, God-forbid, the doctor should make a mistake, there's two Jewish lawyers on each side of them.

Tonight I would like to talk about a question that has rattled around in my head for over 40 years. I first heard it when I was 8 years old - the year was 1956, and Elvis Presley was the king of rock and roll. It was also the year my parents changed synagogues - this was a very painful decision- the dues were higher at the new synagogue - but the new Rabbi was supposed to be funny.

I was looking forward to this funny new Rabbi, because, to me, at eight years old, the height of comedy was knock-knock jokes. For those of you who didn't grow up with knock knock jokes, us baby-boomers will illustrate. Knock knock - Who's there? Thea. Thea who? Thea later alligator. Let's try another. Knock knock. Who's there? Sheila. Sheila who? Sheila be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes. Okay, one last one. Knock knock. Who's there. Bridget. Bridget who? London Bridget's falling down ... falling down. Hey look, that was before cable tv and video games and we were desperate for entertainment.

Well, when it was time for his sermon, the new Rabbi stood at the podium, cleared his throat, and asked: "What is a Jew?"

Then the Rabbi answered for God. I guess Rabbis have always liked to do that:

"A Jew follows the laws in My Torah."

Then the Rabbi looked up, and whispered, "But God, every Jew makes mistakes .....even Rabbis. Is someone still Jewish even after they break our laws?"

"Yes, my son, if you make mistakes, you are still Jewish. I did not make you perfect."

The Rabbi smiled and looked up again. "So God, how many mistakes are we allowed? Is there a number - like 10?"-- "Yes, 10 mistakes could be allowed." Then the Rabbi asked, how about 20? -- "Yes, in certain cases, 20 could also be allowed."

The Rabbi began to hondel with God, like Abraham, only in reverse. It was the first time I ever saw someone "Jew 'em up!". He asked for permission to make a 100 mistakes, then a thousand. A lady sitting up front objected strenuously. "A thousand sins! That's too many!"

"What's so big about a thousand?" The Rabbi argued. "If you only make one mistake a week, and with fifty two weeks a year, by the time you are in your twenties, you would have already have made more than a thousand mistakes. And who do we know only makes 1 mistake a week? Who among us spends even a day without at least one lie, without coveting someone with more, or slandering someone with gossip?"

Then the Rabbi continued, "Perhaps you're thinking, if we are allowed a thousand sins, why bother following the Torah in the first place?" All around me people were nodding their heads. Before we could throw out our Bibles, the Rabbi quickly threw out a second definition:

"A Jew believes in one God." "That much I know ...no, that is not enuff," he answered. "There are other religions that believe in one God, but still don't have anything approximating our guilt."

This got a laugh. He waited, and then posed a third answer: "A Jew is someone with a Jewish soul." Then, like a good Rabbi, he responded with another question. "What is a Jewish soul and how can you tell if you have one? Does it mean if you yearn for an onion bagel with cream cheese and lox, but you're a Buddhist, there is a Jewish soul inside you trying to get out?"

We were confused, and the Rabbi knew it. "Maybe you're wondering," he asked. "If we can't settle on a simple definition of what a Jew is, what are we doing in this fancy synagogue?

"Yeah," I thought, "what am I doing here? There hasn't been even one good knock knock joke."

"Because," he answered, "A Jew is someone who goes around asking, 'What is a Jew?' "

It was a great finish. The congregation loved it, and my parents were glad they changed synagogues.

I put funny Rabbi's question in the back of my dresser draw, to be joined later by my bar mitzvah tallis and tfilin. Then I proceeded to the fundamental American imperative: "Show me the money!" and the fundamental question : "How can I get more of it without paying so much in taxes?" I didn't set foot in a synagogue for over 30 years. My Judaism had dissolved into the American melting pot.

Then, one day, a young Chabad Rabbi stood at the door of our office. "Knock Knock Who's There? Hassidim. Hassidim, but I don't believe 'em!" He asked if I could find him a good deal on a building for a synagogue. I helped him get a building - he helped me get back my heritage.

One day, I asked the Chabad Rabbi, Rabbi Minkowicz for his definition. I said, "Rabbi, what is a Jew?"He stroked his beard, and then said: "A Jew is someone with a Jewish soul." "But Rabbi, how can you tell if someone has a Jewish soul?" He said, "That's easy. If they like to eat onion bagels with cream cheese and lox ..."

No, that was not his answer. He said, "Only God can tell who has a Jewish soul." I should have expected that answer. Chabad tries to refrain, as much as possible, from judgements. They want to allow people freedom to grow, and change, while they learn, without the burden of being judgmental. Compassionate? Yes. But how do you put it into practice ?

And now, perhaps you're wondering, "Hmmm. This guy gave us his former Rabbi's answer, and Chabad's answer to "What is a Jew?" Is he ever going to give us the definitive answer?" Well, wonder no more. Drum roll please .....:

"What is a Jew?" ... "A Jew is someone who goes around asking, ...."

The truth is I haven't found the definitive answer ... but I can share the best one I have heard so far. It comes from my wife - who is a recent convert.

She listened to me prepare this speech, and then she said, "You know, sweetheart, you're such a dummy! The answer is right in the Torah." By the way, she never called me a dummy before she converted. I think I got more respect before she studied Torah. And now she's telling me that in the Torah there's a commandment to shop. She said her friend Marlene would back her up.

"The Torah says," my wife continued, "that a Jew should be a light unto the world."

"A Jew should be a light unto the world ..."

When I heard my wife's answer, I swear, I heard angels sing. I had to leave the house and go outside. And there, under the stars, I felt God's presence like never before. A palm tree even began to glow. Scared, I whispered, "Lord, is that you?"

Lightning danced across the sky, and the thunder almost made me deaf.

"Lord, please answer me, How does a Jew become a light unto the world?"

The lightning stopped, and the thunder ceased. Then I heard a loving voice, the most loving voice I have ever heard, say , "Follow the laws in My Torah, Zalman Velvel!!"

Now, because of the first Rabbi, the funny one, I was prepared for this answer. I negotiated a much better deal than he did - I Jewed God up to allowing two thousand mistakes - But there was a catch- the darkness created by each mistake had to be accompanied by spreading an equal amount of light.

I want to thank all of you for coming and showing your support for Chabad. It is an organization that has as its ultimate goal the spreading of light through wisdom, and understanding. We are all here tonight because of the light this organization has brought to our lives. Thank you, and good night.

THE END

[History]

Your welcome Mary Carroll

Respectfully,
History

[This is me]

here is something more authemtic from the bible and the quran about who is the jew, especially for muslims.


Who are the ‘People of the Book’ in the Glorious Qur’aan? (http://www.islam-is-the-only-solution.com/people-of-the-book.htm)

[ygalg]

here is something more authemtic from the bible and the quran about who is the jew, especially for muslims.


Who are the ‘People of the Book’ in the Glorious Qur’aan? (http://www.islam-is-the-only-solution.com/people-of-the-book.htm)

"the criteria is the quran has abrogated all scriptires by default" (pretty strong statement)



From now on, use your Koran as your back up.

If you have something to say oppose the bible, be my guest.

but to suggest there are passages will back you up, look above your quotation (ok?)

[a mu-min]

Your welcome Mary Carroll

Respectfully,
History

the person mary carrol is a muslim. here she is asking a "jew" what a jew is. it's almost like asking the devil what's the devil's mission. you fail to obtain islamic knowledge by asking those or even reading baqarah might have give you a glance of what jews are all about, but instead of asking a muslim for the question you ask a jew what is he going to tell you jews are light of the world. what are you going to ask him next who was muhammed (sas). YOu really should open your eyes instead of asking people about questions behind back door.

[Mary Carol]

the person mary carrol is a muslim.

Correct, so far.

here she is asking a "jew" what a jew is.

Have I missed something?

Where and when did I ask anyone what a Jew is? :confused:


btw, History thanks for the great post.

Very informative and you were right, it did make me smile. :)

[ygalg]

"making mistake it is human, to forgive its divine"
I think "carol brunette" said that<O:p</O:p

[History]

I apologize, mary carol.
You graciously added to my positive "reputation" for this old post (dated 6-22-04) which I then opened to remind myself which one it was. I then inadvertanly thanked you here instead of via a Private Message.
I apologize if doing so brings you grief from some less compassionate and less respectful posters.

Many blessings.

Respectfully,
History

[sharonbn]

I must say after reading the complete article: I did not care for the article at all.
I think it presents a narrow, obsolete and arrogant view typical of religious Jews.
The narrow and arrogance comes from total disregard to the majority of the Jews today: secular Jews.
The obsolete comes from total disregard to what happened in the Jewish and general worlds in the past 200 years.
This article and indeed the majority of orthodox Jews live in a world frozen in time. They disregard philosophical and cultural advancements of the 19th and 20th centuries, such as the enlightenment movement, Humanism, Universalism and Nationalism.

but what most hurts me is their TOTAL disregard, unthankfulness and arrogance towards the culture, philosophy and achievements of the secular Jewry. We secular Jews are viewed as babies (little children) who went astray from the way of the torah and religious laws. Although we are considered part of the Jewish people, everything about us is wrong and "unjewish": Our way of life, our cultural idols, our sacred cows, and our achievements.

Secular Jews responded to European persecution of Jews by founding the Zionist movement. During the Holocaust, entire communities perished because the Rabbis refused to let the people immigrate to Israel because of their hate and disgust of the Zionist project.

Secular Jews came to the land of Israel when it was an empty barren ill infested dead land. They had a vision of national home for the Jewish people. This vision not only was not shared by religious Jews, it contradicted their view. To this date, majority of orthodox Jews reject the state of Israel and disregard its role in saving and maintaining the Jewish people. Secular Jews build the land with their sweat and blood. My two grandfathers were pioneers. One of them was a mason who built roads and houses in Israel in the 30s. The other was a founder of the "Shomer" organization, the first Jewish active defense organization. He rode a horse and carried a rifle but was famous and welcomed among Jews and Arabs alike.

We Secular Jews take pride of our biggest achievement: modern state of Israel. We celebrate its establishment and mourn the lives lost defending it against formidable enemies. Although all Jews celebrate religious holidays that commemorate events from 2000 years ago, religious Jews refuse to participate in secular holidays and memorial days. They refuse to pay their respect for their fellow man who dies defending their lives.

We Secular Jews have a turmoil long and successful history. We see ourselves as children of the enlightenment era with its humanistic and nationalistic heritage. We created great works of art and culture. We created a thriving science and technological industries, leading the world in bio-technology, agriculture science and high tech. We have much to be proud of, to celebrate and remember. We are part of the Jewish people. We are the majority of the Jewish people. but share our memories and visions alone.

[Ali_Khan]

secular jew? isnt that an oxymoron?

[sharonbn]

goes to show how much you know about Jews....

[History]

Dear Sharon,
Thank you for your post.
Not that I wish to argue with a fellow Jew (though, now that I think of it, isn't that our way? >smile<).
I believe you've overstated and generalized your complaint.
Though, and here's a first, I agree with Ali Khan that a Jew without G-d (in the strictest meaning of secular) is not a Jew. But when Jews speak of "secular" Jews, we are not inferring atheism, and the term is relative! A Reform Jew is "secular" to a Conservative Jew who is "secular" to an Orthodox Jew who, among themselves, will consider other Orthodox Jews "secular" in comparison to themselves. Jews differ between these denominations (and outside them) as well as within each denominations on the manner and extent of their observance of Torah--primarily because Judaism has no iconoclastic doctrine, like Christianity and Islam, for example. There is room for interpretation on how to observe G-d's Commandments. For some it is strict prayer at the appointed times, for others it is observance of the Sabbath at home, for others it is doing for others as G-d Wills, etc. All are acknowledging the G-d of Israel. We are not "all or nothing" Jews, we are Jews striving to be better Jews--i.e. better human beings under Him. To a certain extent, we are all "secular" Jews.

Religious Jews have been returning to join our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisrael for 2000 years. They established the great learning centers in Safed and elsewhere. Many in the first (modern) aliyah in the 19th century came back to live for religious reasons. And the orthodox majority, by definition as well as in practice, are religious Zionists supportive of the Jewish State from even before ISrael was reborn--especially under Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook and the Mizrachi. Overwhelmingly Orthodox Jewry around the world supports Israel as the homeland of the Jewish people.
[http://www.ucalgary.ca/~elsegal/363_Transp/Orthodoxy/Zionism.html]

The few ultra-orthodox anti-political Zionists are few. There are fundamental Israeli Orthodox Jews who feel strongly regarding their manner of observance should be the norm for the State, and are less inclined (for religious reasons) to take up arms to defend her, trusting that G-d will provide. The majority of World Jewry understand something that some of our brethren may forget: deeds are required under G-d.
[Rabbi Chanina said]: One whose deeds exceed his wisdom, his wisdom endures. But one whose wisdom exceeds his deeds, his wisdom does not endure.
--Talmud, Pirke Avot III:10
Perhaps this is the source of your frustration?

But the humorous story I shared is true, for "religious" or "secular" Jew (however you wish to define them)...
"Lord, please answer me, How does a Jew become a light unto the world?"

The lightning stopped, and the thunder ceased. Then I heard a loving voice, the most loving voice I have ever heard, say , "Follow the laws in My Torah, Zalman Velvel!!"

Now, because of the first Rabbi, the funny one, I was prepared for this answer. I negotiated a much better deal than he did - I Jewed God up to allowing two thousand mistakes - But there was a catch- the darkness created by each mistake had to be accompanied by spreading an equal amount of light.
And I would say this is true not only for we Jews but for every single human being!
We are to be ethical people. We are to be just, compassionate, kind, loving, caring, helpful people--to all people. As Rabbi Hillel once said, "This is the sum of Torah. Now go and study(and do) it"

Respectfully,
History

[Ali_Khan]

goes to show how much you know about Jews....yeah you just taught me that Zionist are just a bunch of self hating misfits. They dont want to be jewish, they want to be secularists.

[Mary Carol]

yeah you just taught me that Zionist are just a bunch of self hating misfits. They dont want to be jewish, they want to be secularists.

Wrong forum.

This is Peace and Calm..

[islamik queen]

asalamualykum brothers n sisters!!

can i ask you why we muslims hare the jews?:rubeyes:

[marjan]

Barbara Streisand

[Paris]

asalamualykum brothers n sisters!!

can i ask you why we muslims hare the jews?:rubeyes:

If you hate a Jew, then shouldn't you know why you hate the Jew? How are we supposed to know the cause of your feelings?

I know that I don't hate the Jews.

[cabrao]

can i ask you why we muslims hate the jews?:rubeyes:

Barbara Streisand



hahahahaha!!! nice!


btw History, nice post. especially the wife saying 'shopping is one of the divine commandments' lol.


and to the poster of why muslims hate the jews, I dont think all Muslims hate Jews, just the radicalized, fascist sects who destroy dissent, preach hate and have no understanding of itjihad. You have to think for yourself, not blindly follow what some degenerates preach.