My wearing hijab makes hubby unhappy

[Bahia]

Help! What do I do? My husband - a good man and a practising Muslim - is not happy about me beginning to hear the hijab. Because of his hesitation, I waited a long time to start, thinking he just needed a bit of time but last week I decided that I simply had to start wearing hijab.
He is mostly ignoring the whole thing; for example, he hasn't told his family.
I am so disappointed by his lack of support. I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world. Covering is difficult enough without this.

[dour]

Well, I am not a Muslim, but some Muslims I have talked too say that the hijab is a culture thing and not and not Islam, others say it is not necessary as long as you dress modestly in the first place. Just passing the information I have heard along.

[swan]

What a bunch of bologna!

Hijab is obligatory on muslim women. If a muslim womans husband expects her to disobey Allah, he is 100% in the wrong and she is to obey Allah over him.

Your husband sounds as if he is weak in his deen and for some odd reason embarassed by your covering? Find out why he feels the way he does and attack the problem at the roots. If he is bothered by it, then tell him he is bothered by one of the commands of Allah and that this is an issue for him to work out with his Creator.

You are obeying Allah, dont let anyone stop you from that. Your hijab is your badge of honour. May Allah make it easy for you and open your husbands eyes and put the love of the deen in his heart. Amin.

[swan]

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7179

[Ali_Khan]

Where can I get a wife like this?

[outlandish]

Originally posted by Abdul Qadeer
Where can I get a wife like this?
:rolleyes:

[Bahia]

Thanks for your support, Swan. Yes, I think he is oddly embarrassed; he doesn't want us to 'stand out' in any way. In fact, he feels that being conspicuous (by covering) is immodest. He also is, perhaps, afraid that I may encounter bad reactions from people.
I am covering but at what price to my marriage? I find it very hard to accept these bad reactions in my own (Muslim) home.

[Huda]

obedience to creation should not be done when it conflicts with obedience to the Creator

so Allah's commands take precedence over all creation and what they say or think...

[Khuzamah]

Originally posted by Bahia
Help! What do I do? My husband - a good man and a practising Muslim - is not happy about me beginning to hear the hijab. Because of his hesitation, I waited a long time to start, thinking he just needed a bit of time but last week I decided that I simply had to start wearing hijab.
He is mostly ignoring the whole thing; for example, he hasn't told his family.
I am so disappointed by his lack of support. I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world. Covering is difficult enough without this.

:there: I can kinda understand how you feel because when I started wearing Hijab some of my family weren't really happy about it either, but now you've finally started doing it... you've done the hardest part :) and insha Allah give it a bit of time and your husband will become more used to it & be glad u decided to wear it. I think my mum had the same kinda worries, that people would stare or make nasty comments and that kinda thing, but the reality is that its usually not as bad as people expect, and maybe when your husband sees that it doesnt necessarily lead to everyone staring or giving you funny looks then he might see it as less of a problem.
As other people said, he's the one whos in the wrong here really, and he should be giving you support!! maybe you can talk to him about it? and explain to him why you need to feel suported by him and that he accepts your decision to wear it, and make sure he understands WHY u feel that u need to wear it aswell.
I hope you sort the situation out... insha Allah I'm sure it'll all be ok, just remember you're doing it for the sake of Allah. May He make it easy for you :)

[AbuZayd Al-Britaani]

This is a sad situation. Sister, I am sure that if you persevere in a polite and loving manner your husband will eventually come around. Try food - it usually does the trick :) Either way sis remember the Hadith of Rasul Allah “There is no obedience of the creation wherein there is disobedience to the Creator” and beg for Allah's mercy and assistance so that he may make this trial pass for you.

[Chained_Water]

Originally posted by dour
Well, I am not a Muslim, but some Muslims I have talked too say that the hijab is a culture thing and not and not Islam, others say it is not necessary as long as you dress modestly in the first place. Just passing the information I have heard along.

some kaafirs never miss an opportunity to try and lead a muslim astray :rolleyes:

why not mention all the muslims who present quranic and sunnah proofs to show that it is necessary?

anyways, sis Bahia.. I agree with anna, you have done the hardest part, so have strength and patience now and inshaAllah your husband will soon see the good in your actions, as well as your devotion to your deen and his respect and love for you will increase. Its important to always remember the reason why you are covering, and that is to please Allah(swt) and obey Him.. and He(swt) will make things easier for you inshaAllah.. so just keep doing dua..

and definately talk to your husband about it, if he is practising he surely knows that it is a requirement.. if he doesn't explain to him that it is.. if he does then talk to each other about how you feel and try to work things out. hopefully he will understand.. and see that rather than something to be embarrassed or worried about, he should be 100% behind you and proud of you for taking this step.

may Allah(swt) make things easier for you! ameen.

[dour]

Not trying to lead anyone astray.
Just repeating what I have heard other Muslims told me, take it or leave it does not matter to me what women (or men) choose to wear on their own.

People can cover themselves in tin foil, cloths pins, and drape themselves in a tarp of all I care, just as long as it is not forced upon by others or by the government. If you note, I pointed out that I was in fact not a Muslim and I was just repeating what others have said.

[Chained_Water]

Originally posted by dour
Not trying to lead anyone astray.
Just repeating what I have heard other Muslims told me, take it or leave it does not matter to me what women (or men) choose to wear on their own.

People can cover themselves in tin foil, cloths pins, and drape themselves in a tarp of all I care, just as long as it is not forced upon by others or by the government. If you note, I pointed out that I was in fact not a Muslim and I was just repeating what others have said.

Fair enough and I did note it you saying you are non-muslim as my post indicated :)

It just seemed telling that you pointed out the minority view that is *never* backed up by Quran or Sunnah, rather than the truth as found in Quran/Sunnah and taught by all scholars and people of knowledge about Islam...

anyways, neva mind

[swan]

its hard to believe that some muslim men can act this way about their wives. i know a sister whose husband would get upset if she didnt wear make-up when she would go out. can you imagine that? how sad.

this is a result of fearing others more than Allah and to much love of the dunya. May Allah save us all from it. amin.

brother Abdul Qadeer, there are many sisters out there who are proud to wear hijab. it shouldnt be hard for you to find a wife like that at all. (Inshaa Allah)

[swan]

Originally posted by dour
Not trying to lead anyone astray.
Just repeating what I have heard other Muslims told me, take it or leave it does not matter to me what women (or men) choose to wear on their own.

People can cover themselves in tin foil, cloths pins, and drape themselves in a tarp of all I care, just as long as it is not forced upon by others or by the government. If you note, I pointed out that I was in fact not a Muslim and I was just repeating what others have said.


dour, i understand what your saying and i dont think your trying to start any fitnah here. i too, have met muslims who say this. however, the Quran clearly states how a woman should dress, and muslims should follow the Quran.

Judaism also has rules on modest dress, as well as Christianity. if people of other religions dont believe in following their own religious rules, well, that is on them.

[Ali_Khan]

Originally posted by outlandish
:rolleyes:

what did i say wrong??

[ZawjatuRaafi]

Subhanaa Allah Ukhti Bahia May Allah reward you IMMENSELY WITH GOOD AMEEN!!!!!

Inshaa Allah ukhti have sabr and remember that when you take one step towards Allah He will take two towards you!!! HMMM i wonder where that comes from now that I think about it, well anyhow when you go closer to Allah Allah loves you more so keeping working towards being closer to Him and you will be just fine inshaa Allah!!!...

As for your husband I would hate to see that this sort of thing could cause a hardship in marriages subhanaa Allah but it often can. All you can do at this point is continue to fulfill your obligations to your Lord, then to your husband. Maybe wear khimars that are pretty to your husband colors he likes on you. Gee I am not real sure I wear all black and I suppose I am not always the most appealing to the eye in that sense but ya know what... i dont dress in this manner when outside my home for my husbands pleasure Thats something we must remember, We dress in a manner that is not pleasing to the masses when outside in part though for his pleasure so remind your hubby of this. Show him the difference in how you were once appriocahed by men to now. I know it changed drastically for me when I began covering and the more I covered the more respect I was given by MOST. There was an incident the other day where a car pulled up next to me and the man driving just stared for so long til the light changed then he yelled to me You know you look very scary and strange. Well al hamdulillah my purpose was fulfilled because we must remember our goal is to be strangers on this earth and that helps me to not become disheartened when i hear things like this.

Anyhow sis it is an obligation and this is to your lord and I am sorry to say it in this way but yes even before our beloved husbands who we never want to displease. Just keep showing him the beauty in this, do not beat him over the head with daleel in a manner that makes him feel less then in knowledge or anything like this just talk to him, make him see how much it means to you. Keep hitting that rug and asking Allah to change the heart of your husband with regards to this, ask that he strengthen you both wake for tahajjud and wake him too, strive to show him the beauty in such acts of worship, and although yes there can be scary moments outdoors remind him that we should never fear anything but Allahs wrath on us for not fuliflling our obligations to Him...

I have no idea of I made sense as usual i think I have rambled on May Allah have mercy on you ukhti and set your affairs in order in a manner that is most pleasing to Allah swt Ameen

[Bahia]

May Allah bless you all for your kindness. You have no idea how important your words of encouragement have been to me.

[ZawjatuRaafi]

ameen ukhti just have faith and keep striving towards what is pleasing to Allah and always remember your reward is with Him and you'll get through your hardships...

[AhmedSyed]

Try food - it usually does the trick

:rotfl:

So true! Make biryani when he does not expect it and surprise him.

[fairuzah]

i still remember the first time i wear hijab in my school (chinese school)....i was bullied by the bad boys...they pulled my hijab....i cried and i told my father...hehehe...

[Khuzamah]

Originally posted by fairuzah
i still remember the first time i wear hijab in my school (chinese school)....i was bullied by the bad boys...they pulled my hijab....i cried and i told my father...hehehe...

aww did ur Dad sort em out for you? :D