few questions regarding marriage

[outlandish]

Assalamuliakom,
I have a few questions to ask,since no one else was seeming to answer them,I will ask here:rolleyes:
1)Do parents have the right to refuse someone because they think the prospective person isnt as educated as their daughter,rest he is perfectly ok, and even istikhara done was ok.
2)Can u in such situations have the right to disagree with ur parents and decide for urself,since u think their decision is not right and is based on wordly things only.
3)Can girls marry without parents permission,I mean like decide whom to marry or not on with their own chose,even if parents pressure otherwise?
Thank u for answering,it concerns a friend of mine so any help would be appreciated

[Huja Usman]

To big for for the ordinary muslim to answer.


visit www.islamonline.net and ask them. You'll get an answer in some weeks

[AbuZayd Al-Britaani]

Generally, females require the permission of their guardian.....tell the girl to try and convince her parents. Afterall, they cannot force her to get married to anyone. There are many previous replies to queries of a similar nature on www.sunnipath.com - do a search.

[dhakiyya]

they can only refuse if they think the man is of poor character or faith (and they need evidence for this)
yes, someone else can act as the guardian in her marriage if her father refuses to do so, though the girl should make all the attempts she can to bring her parents round, having a guardian in the wedding is a last resort, but necessary if her father refuses absolutely to let her marry the man.

This is based on a fatwa my husband got on behalf of a friend whos parents wouldn't let her marry the man of her choice because he was not from the same country as she was.

[outlandish]

Assalamulaikom
JazakAllah for replies ppl
Thing is its not easy to refuse or show parents what their doing or thinking is wrong.Even if u marry or are allowed to marry against their will if their reasons are not right,it has a life long implication,since in the future they might not want to get along with u,and if u have any problem u wont receive any support either,since it will be like it was ur choice,now pay for it urself.
The only reason for being against it is they think he is less educated than their daughter,and coz ppl are than talking why get her married to someone less educated than her,she can get lots better:banghead:

[Ebony]

nowdays some parents want their child's spouse to be more educated/earn a lot of money. most other things arent even taken into consideration!
its jst a poor way of judging some1.

[Chained_Water]

Fatwa (http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=10036)

Another One (Does a man need the approval of his parents for his nikah with a woman to be valid?)

There's loads more that all say pretty much the same thing.. and I've read many others that say the same. I know a brother and sister who had to do this, they sought advice from an expert in fiqh and he did their nikaah for them. Alhamdulillah, they've been happily married for ages now :)

I think if people actually think about this and about all the complex or horrible or unreasonable or impossible and unique situations that individual muslims must find themselves in, they'd see that not being able to make that choice would be unjust. Not all parents are good muslims, or try be, some parents can be abusive, some can be violent, some can be forceful, some can be hateful, some can be stubborn, some can be unjust, some can be impossible to approach or talk to or reason with. Surely, ultimately, in the end a mature adult muslima should have the right to decide to get married against the wishes of such parents, because with all due respect to them, her whole life, her happiness, her fulfilment or her staying away from sin may depend on her making that decision. And I believe these fatwa's and believe that Islam encompasses all scenario's and situations and deals with them justly, because Allah(swt) is Just.

Unrelated but made me smile, lol (http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=1347)

[outlandish]

erm chained water,how was that other link related to this discussion?:eek:
You are righ girls have to stand up is parents aint reasonable,but it aint so easy,since like I said before is u have any problems later on,parents wont side u than,and ur on uw own.Also the in laws will be more stern towards u,since they know u did it on ur own,if u just knew these desi ppl:rolleyes:

[Chained_Water]

Originally posted by outlandish
erm chained water,how was that other link related to this discussion?:eek:
You are righ girls have to stand up is parents aint reasonable,but it aint so easy,since like I said before is u have any problems later on,parents wont side u than,and ur on uw own.Also the in laws will be more stern towards u,since they know u did it on ur own,if u just knew these desi ppl:rolleyes:

sorry that fatwa wasn't related but it popped up when i ran the search lol

and yeh i know it wouldn't ever be easy.. but if they really want to marry of their own choice and parents don't like it.. guess the girls just have to take that, can't keep everyone happy and can't expect miracles.. being able to make your own choice and live with your husband happily should be enough though.. and i guess you have to sacrifice some things, cuz you can make your parents live with it, but you can't make them like it.

[outlandish]

lol ermm ok
yes u are right about it,nothing is easy i guess,as long as ur intention is sincere and u know ur doing the right thing,i guess it will make it more easier
how did ur exams go,long time since i saw u post?
u going somewhere for holidays?

[Chained_Water]

(yeh i wasn't supposed to be posting during exam time.. but i did sneak on here and there.. couldn't help myself)

alhamdulillah sis, most of them were ok :) just gotta wait and see i guess

no i'm staying at home during hols.. but i've lots to do so I'm sure as usual the hols will fly by...

what you got planned sis? (apart from of course continuing to speak up for women and the right to ask questions :) here on ummah.com)

[outlandish]

insha allah u will pass with good grades:)
well my adventures on ummah.com insha allah is going to end soon. Speaking up and asking questions well did get me to hear alot most of the times. Even ppl making fun, so that is a bit too much for me.
Other than that am going on holidays to Pakistan for 2 months,doing a summer job as well right now,finishing projects at uni,and going to visit UAE as well,so alhamdhuillah.:cool:
In holidays I always say I will learn to cook and sew clothes,when I learn a little uni starts again,so i dont do it for some time,and forget again:(