Offering Condolences

[AbuMubarak]

Question Reference Number:: 13988
Title: Ruling on offering condolences and thanking people for condolences in newspapers and magazines

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Question:


It has becomes widespread in recent times for people to offer condolences through newspapers and magazines and for the family of the deceased to respond with thanks for condolences in the same manner. What is the ruling on doing this? Does it come under the heading of the kind of death announcements that are forbidden in sharee’ah?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes… what I think is that this comes under the heading of the kind of death announcements that are forbidden; even if it does not, it is still extravagance and a waste of money.

Condolences are not like congratulations which people may be keen to offer whether the one who has been bereaved is sad or not. What is meant by offering condolences is that if you see a person who has been bereaved and his sorrow is plainly visible, you try to give him moral support and help him to bear that loss. This is the point of offering condolences. It is not something you do as a mere act of courtesy. If the people understood the purpose of offering condolences they would not go to the extreme of publishing them in the newspapers or gathering for that purpose or receiving people and offering them food, etc.



Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen ¡ 70 Su’aalan fi Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz, p. 53. (www.islam-qa.com)

[frank chu]

originally posted by AbuMubarak
...or receiving people and offering them food, etc.
In my experience, the bereaved receive people and are offered food, not offer food. Concerned, supporting friends bring food so that the grieving family has less to worry about while they grieve and deal with funeral preparations.

[AbuMubarak]

thats what was meant, frank

[frank chu]

originally posted by AbuMubarak
If the people understood the purpose of offering condolences they would not go to the extreme of publishing them in the newspapers or gathering for that purpose or receiving people and offering them food, etc.
So the Shaykh is saying that we shouldn't offer food just like we shouldn't put condonlences in newspapers (is he talking about obituaries?)?

[Tahiyah]

can i disagree with this shaykh? i mean offering food is a charity, (especially if the one who passed on was the one who provided food for the mourning family.)

we dont have to say, i am sorry for your loss or sorry so and so died, because Allah knows best when it is someones time to go, not us, and we should not be sorry for what Allah knows best.

we can still offer support and offering condolences can be done through duaa, praying for the deceased and for Allah to make it easy on those who are mourning thier loss?

and obituaries are a way of alerting people that someone died. we dont all live in small towns and villages. in large areas this is helpful. havent you ever read the obits and found out that someone you know has passed on? i dunno.. i think maybe its an okay "innovation", i mean not all innovations are haraam ones.

anyhow, just my thoughts.. i am no scholar.

[MalcomBanned4?]

Bringing food is just one way of helping out, not because the family will go hungry but to save them the time of shopping and cooking. Close friends and family will also clean house and help with arrangements. Chances are people that print condolences in newspapers are either from out of town and won't attend services or giving notice to others that maynot know. extravagance and a waste of money $10-$20 for a newspaper ad or several hundred to take off work, travel to their town, get a hotel and attend services? Neither?

[Mary Carol]

Originally posted by Tahiyah
can i disagree with this shaykh? i mean offering food is a charity, (especially if the one who passed on was the one who provided food for the mourning family.)

we dont have to say, i am sorry for your loss or sorry so and so died, because Allah knows best when it is someones time to go, not us, and we should not be sorry for what Allah knows best.

we can still offer support and offering condolences can be done through duaa, praying for the deceased and for Allah to make it easy on those who are mourning thier loss?

and obituaries are a way of alerting people that someone died. we dont all live in small towns and villages. in large areas this is helpful. havent you ever read the obits and found out that someone you know has passed on? i dunno.. i think maybe its an okay "innovation", i mean not all innovations are haraam ones.

anyhow, just my thoughts.. i am no scholar.

Your thoughts mimic mine.

But do we as Muslims act the same to a Non-Muslim's death?

My family just lost a loved one, not a Muslim.

However I was "supposed" to act, my instincts compel me to offer the family all that I can give them to get through this crisis.