View Full Version : destiny and spouse

20-03-11, 10:02 PM
there is a question that frequently comes to my mind...if Allah has already chosen a spouse for us ,then why are we advised to look for his character and other attributes..what if he is not righteous,doesnt pray and still in your fate to get married to him:help::help:
the proposal mentioned in my previous post named "proposal from a not so righteous man"
has been there since 10 years now...its so deeply etched in my mind that i think this is my destiny gulp gulp ....please pray that if he is my destiny then Allah should guide him and make him righteous or else i just cant bring myself to marrying him :(

20-03-11, 10:38 PM
there are so many kinds of destiny.

some destiny is in your hands.

You have the Quaran which gives guidance on how to choose your partner.

Its like jumping in front of a train and saying in Hell it was Allahs will.

I hope you get my point.

20-03-11, 10:57 PM
Watch this and it should help you understand the concept of Qadr better.


22-03-11, 11:59 AM
Who said that Allah has 'already' chosen your life partner? I cannot remember any hadith or Quranic verse that mentions the same. The word 'already' is important, because in either case you cannot marry the person you want, unless Allah decides it for you. It may be that you make consistent duaa, and He finds better partner for you, than you had expected. It may be that you marry following the sunnah way, looking for only character, and He blesses this marriage in many more ways. Allah's blessings and orders are not fixed program, but He continuously bestows mercies and makes decisions for the universe, which are in the form of reward, blessing, mercy, protection, answering a duaa, guidance, and so on.

As for the issue of destiny, one post on this forum prompted me to write something about it, although I don't like to discuss the topic, because the prophhet (peace be upon him) discouraged discussions on destiny. I am copying the link, if you are curious:


Salman Al-Farsi
22-03-11, 12:23 PM
wa alaykum assalam

the answer is we do not know what Allah ta'ala has predestined for us, we do not know if there is anyone for us in this life, it could be that while we are having this discussion one of us may die. None of us know or can possibly comprehend the Almighty's plans.

Its like we know Allah ta'ala is ar-raziq, he has control over our rizq and we will only get what Allah ta'ala has written for us but does that stop any of us from getting a job? We all have to earn because we just dont know whats in our rizq.