Ebony
15-12-03, 03:14 PM
http://www.islamicedu.com/mohadrat.asp?order=3&num=72
apologies in advance, the article is a bit long.
bt its a good read
The Advantages of Getting Married
There are several religious and secular advantages in getting married, some of which are the following.
1. God has favored his creatures with the institution of marriage. He says: “One of His signs is that he created for you spouses from among yourselves to be a solace to you, and planted love and compassion in you towards each other” (XXX: 21). As He made the wife a solace, He also made her a comfort: “They are comfort to you, and you to them” (II: 187) and a tillage: “Your women are tillage for you” (II: 223).
2. Marriage is a course followed by God's messengers as God tells us: “We sent messengers before you, and we provided them with spouses and offspring” (XIII: 38)
God says that His prophet Moses worked for a few years as a shepherd, and thus he saved his marriage dowry. He also says that Solomon had many wives. Abu Hurairah, may God bless him with His favor (GBHF), quotes the Prophet, peace be upon him (PBUH), as saying:
Solomon, son of David, said once, “Today I am going to sleep with seventy women, and each of them will bear a knight who will fight for the cause of God.” His companion (who is an angel) said, “God Willing.” Solomon, however, did not say it. None of the women gave birth to anything except one deformed baby. Had Solomon said the words he would have indeed had his knights fighting for God's cause (Unanimously verified).
A group of the Prophet's Companions inquired about the manner of worship in Islam and came to the conclusion that they can have their own worship practices. Some of them avoided any contact with people. The Prophet, peace be upon him, however, announced that marriage was a thing he practiced and that his example was to be followed. In the Two Anthologies of Verified Traditions (Al-Bukhari, 4675; Muslim 2487), Anas (GBHF) is quoted as saying:
A group of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) asked the Prophet's wives about his private practices. One of these Companions [later] said, “I will marry no woman.” Another said, “I will eat no meat.” A third said, “I will not sleep on a bed.” The Prophet praised and extolled God and said, “How come some people have said such and such. I, however, pray and sleep, fast on some days and do not on others, and I get married to women. A person who shuns my example does not belong with me.”
It is then God's Will that messengers—who are the most devout, knowledgeable, and busy of all people—should have wives, and marriage is one of the features of the example (sunna) they have set for people. There is, consequently, no excuse for anybody to elude marriage unless there is some reason that keeps him from it. Otherwise, that person will contradict the example and practice of God's messengers.
3. God orders guardians, and consequently society in general, to get single people, whether male or female, married, as already mentioned: “Get the single among you married, as well as honest male and female slaves that you have. If they are poor, God will provide for them, out of His Bounty. God is Munificent and All-Knowing” (XXIV: 32).
4. The Prophet (PBUH) made a general order, addressed to all young men of his nation throughout the ages: “Young people, let any one of you who can afford it get married, as this would help keep eyes lowered and sexual organs restrained. Let any young man who is unable to get married resort to fasting, for it is a shield for him” (Al-Bukhari, 4677; Muslim, 2486; Al-Tirmithi, 1001; Al-Nisaii, 2210). Usually women are included when something is addressed to men.
5. Through marriage, a person acquires the best of this world's acquisitions. Abdullah Ibn Amr, may God bless both him and his father with His favor, quotes the Prophet (PBU?H) as saying: “Life is property, and the best property is a good wife” (Al-Nisaii 3180; Ibn Maja, 1845). Al-Tabarani quotes Ibn 'Abbas, may God bless both him and his father with His favor, and he in turn quotes the Prophet as saying, “When a person is possessed of four things, he possesses the best of this life and the Hereafter: a thankful heart, a tongue that keeps invoking God's name, a body that endures affliction, and a wife that does not mishandle herself or his property” (Ibn Maja, 1846).
6. Marriage is the complementary half for religious worship. The Prophet (PBUH) is quoted by Al-Hakem after Anas (GBHF) as saying, “When God favors a person with a good woman, He has helped him with half of his religious obligation. Let him then avoid displeasing God over the other half.” In another version cited by Al-Baihaqi, the Prophet says, “When a person marries, he has fulfilled half of his religious obligation. Let him then avoid displeasing God over the other half.”
Marriage is regarded as half of religious obligation, since the Prophet (PBUH) says in another tradition, “Let a person secure for me what he has between his jaw-bones [meaning the tongue] and between his thighs, and I will secure Paradise for him” (Al-Bukhari, 5993, quoting Sahl Ibn Sa'd; also Al-Tirmithi, 2332). When a person gets married, he secures the chastity of his sexual organ.
7. The Prophet (PB?UH) does not only encourage and urge people to marry, but he also forbids celibacy. Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas (GBHF) says, “God's Messenger (PBUH) declined to allow 'Uthman Ibn Madh'un to be celibate. Had he permitted him, we would have had ourselves castrated” (Al-Bukhari, 4685; Muslim, 2488; Al-Tirmithi, 1003; Al-Nisaii, 3160).
8. The Prophet (PBUH) also forbids excess in worship to the extent of neglecting the rights of one's wife and family. He said to Abdulla Ibn 'Amr Ibn Al-'Aas, may God bless both him and his father with His favor:
“Abdullah, I am told that you fast your days and stay up all night.”
Abdullah says that he answered, “Yes, God's Messenger.”
The Prophet said, “Do not, but rather fast some days and refrain from fasting on others, and stay up a while and sleep a while. Your body has demands on you, your eyes have demands, your wife has demands, and your visitor has demands . . .” (Al-Bukhari 4800)
It is clear then that marriage is better than complete devotion to worship, so naturally it is better than other occupations.
9. Marriage is a means to get support from God. Abu Hurairah quotes the Prophet (PBUH) as saying, “Three people have a claim to God's support: a correspondent who means to perform well, a man who gets married and means to be chaste, and a man fighting for God's cause” (Al-Tirmithi, 1579; Al-Nisaii, 3096; Ibn Maja, 2509).
10. Marriage is the means for the Islamic nation to grow in number and for the Prophet to boast of the great number of his followers. He says, “Take in marriage a woman who is loving and fertile, because I am going to boast your numbers, compared with other nations” (Abu Dawood, 1754; Al-Nisaii, 3175).
11. Marriage has a healthy effect. Two psychologists at Chicago University compiled very specific statistics on cases of madness they were treating and discovered that out of every 100 mad men and women, 83 were single and 17 married. The percentage of crime is also higher among single people; statistics show that there are 38 single criminals for every 18 married ones.
12. One of the most important purposes and benefits of marriage is the protection it gives against sin, which is what the Prophet referred to in saying that it “helps to keep eyes lowered and sexual organs restrained.” In another verified tradition, he says, “There is no trial I leave behind me more harmful to men than that by women; women were the trial of the Israelites” (Al-Bukhari, 2706; Muslim, 4933; Ibn Maja, 3988; Ahmad, 20751). This is particularly true today as the trial by women is wide-spread in all Muslim countries.
13. Marriage opens for both husband and wife forms of worship that are unavailable otherwise, such as their amicable relationship, gentle companionship, taking care of the children, offering them tenderness and compassion, and getting busy in pursuing their interests—all in an effort to get closer to God, the Most Glorious and Sublime. In fact they receive reward even for their intercourse and gratifying their desire. Muslim, in his anthology, cites a quotation of the Prophet (PBUH) by Abu Tharr (GBHF) in which he says, “And in your flesh there is charity.” His Companions asked, “God's Messenger, do we gratify our desire and yet receive a reward for that?” He said, “How about when you do that illicitly, is there no sin involved? Similarly there is a reward when you do it in a legitimate manner” (1674).
up
Earlier Generations and Marriage
Because of their awareness of the Prophet's example and their resolve to follow it, earlier Muslims are known for promoting marriage and giving it great importance. Here is a selection of their statements and stories which indicate that interest.
Al-Bukhari quotes Sa'id Ibn Jubair as saying, “Ibn 'Abbas asked me, 'Are you married?' I said I was not, so he said, 'Do get married. The best people of this nation are those who have the highest number of wives.'” Al-Bukhari says there is a version narrated by Ahmad Ibn Manee' which adds, “This was before hair grew on my face” (4681; also see Ahmad, 1944).
Ibn Abu Shaibah quotes Shaddad Ibn Aous (GBHF) after having lost his vision, “Let me get married, for God's Messenger (PBUH) urged me not to meet God while I am celibate.”
Mu'aath (GBHF) is also quoted as saying while he was in his deathbed sickness, “Let me get married, for I hate to meet God while I am celibate.”
Maisarah is cited as saying, “Tawoos told me, 'You either get married or I will tell you that, as Omar said to Abu Al-Zawair, the only thing that keeps you from it is either impotence or debauchery.'”
Tawoos is also quoted as saying, “A young man's devoutness is complete only when he gets married.”
Meanwhile, Ibn Mas'ood said, “If I lived in this world for no more than ten, I would like to have a wife for that duration.”
Al-Maroozi says:
Imam Abu Abdullah, i.e. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, told us, “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) married fourteen times, and left nine widows. Had Bishr Ibn Hareth married, he would have had everything. If people abstained from marriage, there could be no fighting campaigns, no pilgrimage, and so on, and so on. The Prophet (PBUH) used to wake up in the morning, having nothing at all, and yet he had nine wives when he died. He opted for marriage, encouraged it, and forbade celibacy. A person who departs from the example of the Prophet (PBUH) is in the wrong. Jacob, although in distress, married and had children. The Prophet (PBUH) says, 'I am made to like women.'”
I [i.e. Al-Maroozi] told him, “But Ibraheem Ibn Adham is quoted as saying, 'The ordeal the father of children has. . . .'”
He did not let me finish my sentence. “You have fallen in one of the pitfalls,” he cried. “Consider the example of Muhammad (PBUH) and his Companions.” Then he added, “A child crying for bread in his father's arms is better than such and such. How can a devout celibate catch up?”
Ibn Qudama also quotes Imam Ahmad as saying, “A person who encourages you to abandon marriage is encouraging you to abandon Islam.”
Imam Ahmad himself married on the day following the death of his wife, the mother of his son Abdullah.
Ya'qoob used to report to Al-Mahdi, the Abbasid Caliph, at night. He would offer advice on desirable things regarding the harbors, reinforcement, and getting the single married.
Finally, Abd Al-Mumen Al-Maghribi, says:
A man without a spouse is like a barefoot person. Celibacy encourages adultery, and marriage is a signal for prosperity. When a person marries, he chains some of the devils plotting against him. He also fortifies one half of his religion, so avoid displeasing God over the other half. Man's religiousness is undermined by two desires, that of the stomach, which is the minor, and of the sexual organ, which is the greater of the two. So perform your prayers and fortify your two forts.
Jurists and Marriage
Jurists, at the opening their chapters on marriage, mention the attitude of Islam towards marriage, pointing out how important it is. I will cite here some of their statements in as much as time allows.
Scholars of the Hanafi School, place the chapter on marriage after those dealing with the rites of worship. In his Commentary on Fath Al-Qadeer (Inspiration of the Most-Potent), Al-Kamal Ibn Al-Hammam justifies that by saying that marriage
is so close to worship that being occupied with it is better than full dedication to worship, as we, God willing, will demonstrate. Therefore, [the author] places the rites of worship before it. . . . Then he mentions how it is regarded and the differences of scholars over it. He concludes that its being regarded as better than full dedication to worship is more valid. He says, “In general, what is best is to follow precedents rather than what seems to a person to be better because it is, on the surface, worship and devotion. God could not have accepted for His Prophet anything less than the best of everything. His status until his death was that of a married man. It is impossible that God would have allowed him to leave what was better all through his life.” . . . When one considers what marriage involves of improvement of manners, increasing a person's tolerance through intimacy with creatures of the same species, child raising, taking care of the interests of someone who cannot manage on his own, supporting relatives and oppressed people, allowing for the chastity of close female relatives as well as himself, sparing them and himself temptations and the need for frugality. . . when one considers all this, he would hardly think before he confirms that marriage is better than full devotion.”
Ibn Rushd says, “In general marriage is desirable and recommended. . . . When a person needs to get married, cannot go on without a woman, and has no female slaves to sleep with, marriage for him is an obligation.”
Al-Kasani says, “There is no contesting that marriage is an obligation in the case of yearning. A person who yearns to have a woman and cannot tolerate being without one is a sinner if he fails to marry.”
Ibn Qudama of the Hanbali School says in his book Al-Mughni (The Sufficient Book):
In the matter of marriage people are of three types. Some of them fear that they might be led to sin if they do not marry. For such a person, marriage, according to the majority of jurists, is an obligation, because it will make him chaste and keep him from sinning. Marriage is his only option. The other type is that of a person for whom marriage is recommended. This is a person who has sexual desire but can keep himself from sin. For such a person, as believed by those who are entitled to give an opinion, being occupied with marriage is better than full devotion to recommended worship rites. This is also the apparent meaning of statements by Companions of the Prophet, as well as their practice. . . .
Ibn Qudama proceeds to cite examples, some of which are quoted above.
Al-Qurtubi says, “There is a unanimity that a capable person who fears hazards to his faith or to himself resulting from celibacy should get married.”
Sheikh Al-Islam [Ibn Taimiyah] says, “If a person feels the urge to get married and fears to be in distress if he does not, he should give it priority over obligatory pilgrimage. If he fears no distress, pilgrimage has priority. Imam Ahmad, as quoted by Saleh and others, states that, and Abu Bakr has opted for it.”
Other Cultures and Marriage
Marriage is essential to human nature as formed by God. Infidel nations, therefore, have paid special attention to it, either because they recognize its benefits or following the recommendations of what is left to them of their corrupt religions.
Nations of the past gave marriage special importance. Celibacy for them was disgraceful, and many of them believed that a person who died unmarried was deprived of God's mercy. They applied unfavorable, embarrassing adjectives to such a person, and he was usually inclined to avoid people.
In 1661, Louis XIV issued a decree exempting married people of the age of 20-25 from taxes, and in 1798 he issued regulations of rent values and tax collection in which he doubled the taxes on bachelors who were 20 or older.
Wise people in the West, in the face of widespread permissiveness and debauchery, call for early marriage. Will Durant says:
We do not seem to be aware of the social evil that we can attribute to delayed marriage. Undoubtedly, part of that evil results from a latent desire for polygamy that we still have, but, most probably, the major part results from the unnatural delay of marital life. The permissiveness that we witness after marriage most likely results from the habits developed before it. We may try to understand the biological and social causes of this flourishing industry, or may bypass it as inevitable, which is the point of view of many thinkers today. It is, however, a disgrace to regard with pleasure the fact that half a million American girls offer themselves at the alter of permissiveness. Nor is the other side of the picture less depressing, for every man who postpones marriage tends to go out with call girls who loiter in the streets in explicit indecency.
In times of old, people married early, and that was the right solution for the sexual problem. Nowadays, the age of marriage is being postponed, and there are those who do not mind changing several engagement rings. A government that manages to make laws to facilitate early marriages will be worthy of our appreciation, because it will be offering the best solution for the sex problem of our times.
If people who live in permissive, lecherous societies and have no moral objection to illicit relationships are pointing out the importance of marriage, those whom God has protected from sin and who are aware of its dangers have a better call to do the same.
The Benefits of Early Marriage
When a young man and a young woman marry at an early age, they reap several benefits.
1. They get all the above-mentioned advantages and values of marriage.
2. Young men and women today are tormented by the temptations and stimulation they are exposed to everywhere. When young people postpone marriage, they have one of two alternatives, with no third. They either commit sin, and then hopefully suffer pain and sorrow for what they have done, or are protected by God, the Most Glorious and Sublime, and they conquer their desires and their own evil, but still they live in confusion and frustration.
3. Marriage brings psychological stability and comfort. “One of His signs is that he created for you spouses from among yourselves to be a solace to you, and planted love and compassion in you towards each other.”
Contemporary studies have demonstrated the psychological and social stability which marriage produces. A Western writer says, “Permanent celibacy exposes a person to all types and forms of psychological disorder. The soul gets corrupted and it acquires mercilessness, cruelty, frivolity, rashness, and instability.” George Inktell says, “Since the beginning of the twentieth century, celibacy has represented endless misery that often ends with suicide or madness.”
When young men or women postpone marriage they are depriving themselves of the opportunity of securing stability in that important stage of their lives.
4. Married people acquire a feeling of responsibility. Education these days has helped to raise individuals who are dependent on others and unable to shoulder any responsibility. A young person spends sixteen years or more studying, and during that period he has no fixed income. Usually he is a dependant of his parents. A young man badly needs to have a feeling of responsibility, and an early marriage develops such a feeling in him.
5. Early married contributes to a healthy upbringing of children, because the age gap between early-married parents and their children, particularly the older ones, is not wide. The eldest child reaches the age of adulthood, as defined in Islamic Law, before the father is 40. In such a situation, parents find it easier to deal with their children, understand their problems, and educate them.
6. The children will take over the household chores and relieve their parents. When the parents reach the age of 40, the children are already capable of doing chores and errands for the household, which gives the father some free time, which he can exploit, and allow him to achieve things worthy of the stage of maturity that he has reached.
7. Early marriage offers a greater likelihood of begetting good children, since it allows better upbringing, as already mentioned. And also it gives a better chance of having a large number of children. The Prophet (PBUH) says: “When a man dies his work comes to an end except for three things, a running charity, scholarship that others benefit from, and good offspring praying for him” (Muslim, 3084, quoting Abu Hurairah).
8. Early marriage in most cases means early parenthood, and the age of parents influences the intelligence of children. Al-Mawardi says, “The best children in physical appearance, behavior, and manners are those born to a mother who is 20-30 years of age.”
Recent studies have concluded that the chance of having retarded children is higher in the case of mothers under 20 or over 35 than those between 20 and 35. Recent studies have also concluded that the percentage of deformed and mentally retarded children gets higher the older the father is, and it is particularly high for fathers over 45.
apologies in advance, the article is a bit long.
bt its a good read
The Advantages of Getting Married
There are several religious and secular advantages in getting married, some of which are the following.
1. God has favored his creatures with the institution of marriage. He says: “One of His signs is that he created for you spouses from among yourselves to be a solace to you, and planted love and compassion in you towards each other” (XXX: 21). As He made the wife a solace, He also made her a comfort: “They are comfort to you, and you to them” (II: 187) and a tillage: “Your women are tillage for you” (II: 223).
2. Marriage is a course followed by God's messengers as God tells us: “We sent messengers before you, and we provided them with spouses and offspring” (XIII: 38)
God says that His prophet Moses worked for a few years as a shepherd, and thus he saved his marriage dowry. He also says that Solomon had many wives. Abu Hurairah, may God bless him with His favor (GBHF), quotes the Prophet, peace be upon him (PBUH), as saying:
Solomon, son of David, said once, “Today I am going to sleep with seventy women, and each of them will bear a knight who will fight for the cause of God.” His companion (who is an angel) said, “God Willing.” Solomon, however, did not say it. None of the women gave birth to anything except one deformed baby. Had Solomon said the words he would have indeed had his knights fighting for God's cause (Unanimously verified).
A group of the Prophet's Companions inquired about the manner of worship in Islam and came to the conclusion that they can have their own worship practices. Some of them avoided any contact with people. The Prophet, peace be upon him, however, announced that marriage was a thing he practiced and that his example was to be followed. In the Two Anthologies of Verified Traditions (Al-Bukhari, 4675; Muslim 2487), Anas (GBHF) is quoted as saying:
A group of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) asked the Prophet's wives about his private practices. One of these Companions [later] said, “I will marry no woman.” Another said, “I will eat no meat.” A third said, “I will not sleep on a bed.” The Prophet praised and extolled God and said, “How come some people have said such and such. I, however, pray and sleep, fast on some days and do not on others, and I get married to women. A person who shuns my example does not belong with me.”
It is then God's Will that messengers—who are the most devout, knowledgeable, and busy of all people—should have wives, and marriage is one of the features of the example (sunna) they have set for people. There is, consequently, no excuse for anybody to elude marriage unless there is some reason that keeps him from it. Otherwise, that person will contradict the example and practice of God's messengers.
3. God orders guardians, and consequently society in general, to get single people, whether male or female, married, as already mentioned: “Get the single among you married, as well as honest male and female slaves that you have. If they are poor, God will provide for them, out of His Bounty. God is Munificent and All-Knowing” (XXIV: 32).
4. The Prophet (PBUH) made a general order, addressed to all young men of his nation throughout the ages: “Young people, let any one of you who can afford it get married, as this would help keep eyes lowered and sexual organs restrained. Let any young man who is unable to get married resort to fasting, for it is a shield for him” (Al-Bukhari, 4677; Muslim, 2486; Al-Tirmithi, 1001; Al-Nisaii, 2210). Usually women are included when something is addressed to men.
5. Through marriage, a person acquires the best of this world's acquisitions. Abdullah Ibn Amr, may God bless both him and his father with His favor, quotes the Prophet (PBU?H) as saying: “Life is property, and the best property is a good wife” (Al-Nisaii 3180; Ibn Maja, 1845). Al-Tabarani quotes Ibn 'Abbas, may God bless both him and his father with His favor, and he in turn quotes the Prophet as saying, “When a person is possessed of four things, he possesses the best of this life and the Hereafter: a thankful heart, a tongue that keeps invoking God's name, a body that endures affliction, and a wife that does not mishandle herself or his property” (Ibn Maja, 1846).
6. Marriage is the complementary half for religious worship. The Prophet (PBUH) is quoted by Al-Hakem after Anas (GBHF) as saying, “When God favors a person with a good woman, He has helped him with half of his religious obligation. Let him then avoid displeasing God over the other half.” In another version cited by Al-Baihaqi, the Prophet says, “When a person marries, he has fulfilled half of his religious obligation. Let him then avoid displeasing God over the other half.”
Marriage is regarded as half of religious obligation, since the Prophet (PBUH) says in another tradition, “Let a person secure for me what he has between his jaw-bones [meaning the tongue] and between his thighs, and I will secure Paradise for him” (Al-Bukhari, 5993, quoting Sahl Ibn Sa'd; also Al-Tirmithi, 2332). When a person gets married, he secures the chastity of his sexual organ.
7. The Prophet (PB?UH) does not only encourage and urge people to marry, but he also forbids celibacy. Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas (GBHF) says, “God's Messenger (PBUH) declined to allow 'Uthman Ibn Madh'un to be celibate. Had he permitted him, we would have had ourselves castrated” (Al-Bukhari, 4685; Muslim, 2488; Al-Tirmithi, 1003; Al-Nisaii, 3160).
8. The Prophet (PBUH) also forbids excess in worship to the extent of neglecting the rights of one's wife and family. He said to Abdulla Ibn 'Amr Ibn Al-'Aas, may God bless both him and his father with His favor:
“Abdullah, I am told that you fast your days and stay up all night.”
Abdullah says that he answered, “Yes, God's Messenger.”
The Prophet said, “Do not, but rather fast some days and refrain from fasting on others, and stay up a while and sleep a while. Your body has demands on you, your eyes have demands, your wife has demands, and your visitor has demands . . .” (Al-Bukhari 4800)
It is clear then that marriage is better than complete devotion to worship, so naturally it is better than other occupations.
9. Marriage is a means to get support from God. Abu Hurairah quotes the Prophet (PBUH) as saying, “Three people have a claim to God's support: a correspondent who means to perform well, a man who gets married and means to be chaste, and a man fighting for God's cause” (Al-Tirmithi, 1579; Al-Nisaii, 3096; Ibn Maja, 2509).
10. Marriage is the means for the Islamic nation to grow in number and for the Prophet to boast of the great number of his followers. He says, “Take in marriage a woman who is loving and fertile, because I am going to boast your numbers, compared with other nations” (Abu Dawood, 1754; Al-Nisaii, 3175).
11. Marriage has a healthy effect. Two psychologists at Chicago University compiled very specific statistics on cases of madness they were treating and discovered that out of every 100 mad men and women, 83 were single and 17 married. The percentage of crime is also higher among single people; statistics show that there are 38 single criminals for every 18 married ones.
12. One of the most important purposes and benefits of marriage is the protection it gives against sin, which is what the Prophet referred to in saying that it “helps to keep eyes lowered and sexual organs restrained.” In another verified tradition, he says, “There is no trial I leave behind me more harmful to men than that by women; women were the trial of the Israelites” (Al-Bukhari, 2706; Muslim, 4933; Ibn Maja, 3988; Ahmad, 20751). This is particularly true today as the trial by women is wide-spread in all Muslim countries.
13. Marriage opens for both husband and wife forms of worship that are unavailable otherwise, such as their amicable relationship, gentle companionship, taking care of the children, offering them tenderness and compassion, and getting busy in pursuing their interests—all in an effort to get closer to God, the Most Glorious and Sublime. In fact they receive reward even for their intercourse and gratifying their desire. Muslim, in his anthology, cites a quotation of the Prophet (PBUH) by Abu Tharr (GBHF) in which he says, “And in your flesh there is charity.” His Companions asked, “God's Messenger, do we gratify our desire and yet receive a reward for that?” He said, “How about when you do that illicitly, is there no sin involved? Similarly there is a reward when you do it in a legitimate manner” (1674).
up
Earlier Generations and Marriage
Because of their awareness of the Prophet's example and their resolve to follow it, earlier Muslims are known for promoting marriage and giving it great importance. Here is a selection of their statements and stories which indicate that interest.
Al-Bukhari quotes Sa'id Ibn Jubair as saying, “Ibn 'Abbas asked me, 'Are you married?' I said I was not, so he said, 'Do get married. The best people of this nation are those who have the highest number of wives.'” Al-Bukhari says there is a version narrated by Ahmad Ibn Manee' which adds, “This was before hair grew on my face” (4681; also see Ahmad, 1944).
Ibn Abu Shaibah quotes Shaddad Ibn Aous (GBHF) after having lost his vision, “Let me get married, for God's Messenger (PBUH) urged me not to meet God while I am celibate.”
Mu'aath (GBHF) is also quoted as saying while he was in his deathbed sickness, “Let me get married, for I hate to meet God while I am celibate.”
Maisarah is cited as saying, “Tawoos told me, 'You either get married or I will tell you that, as Omar said to Abu Al-Zawair, the only thing that keeps you from it is either impotence or debauchery.'”
Tawoos is also quoted as saying, “A young man's devoutness is complete only when he gets married.”
Meanwhile, Ibn Mas'ood said, “If I lived in this world for no more than ten, I would like to have a wife for that duration.”
Al-Maroozi says:
Imam Abu Abdullah, i.e. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, told us, “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) married fourteen times, and left nine widows. Had Bishr Ibn Hareth married, he would have had everything. If people abstained from marriage, there could be no fighting campaigns, no pilgrimage, and so on, and so on. The Prophet (PBUH) used to wake up in the morning, having nothing at all, and yet he had nine wives when he died. He opted for marriage, encouraged it, and forbade celibacy. A person who departs from the example of the Prophet (PBUH) is in the wrong. Jacob, although in distress, married and had children. The Prophet (PBUH) says, 'I am made to like women.'”
I [i.e. Al-Maroozi] told him, “But Ibraheem Ibn Adham is quoted as saying, 'The ordeal the father of children has. . . .'”
He did not let me finish my sentence. “You have fallen in one of the pitfalls,” he cried. “Consider the example of Muhammad (PBUH) and his Companions.” Then he added, “A child crying for bread in his father's arms is better than such and such. How can a devout celibate catch up?”
Ibn Qudama also quotes Imam Ahmad as saying, “A person who encourages you to abandon marriage is encouraging you to abandon Islam.”
Imam Ahmad himself married on the day following the death of his wife, the mother of his son Abdullah.
Ya'qoob used to report to Al-Mahdi, the Abbasid Caliph, at night. He would offer advice on desirable things regarding the harbors, reinforcement, and getting the single married.
Finally, Abd Al-Mumen Al-Maghribi, says:
A man without a spouse is like a barefoot person. Celibacy encourages adultery, and marriage is a signal for prosperity. When a person marries, he chains some of the devils plotting against him. He also fortifies one half of his religion, so avoid displeasing God over the other half. Man's religiousness is undermined by two desires, that of the stomach, which is the minor, and of the sexual organ, which is the greater of the two. So perform your prayers and fortify your two forts.
Jurists and Marriage
Jurists, at the opening their chapters on marriage, mention the attitude of Islam towards marriage, pointing out how important it is. I will cite here some of their statements in as much as time allows.
Scholars of the Hanafi School, place the chapter on marriage after those dealing with the rites of worship. In his Commentary on Fath Al-Qadeer (Inspiration of the Most-Potent), Al-Kamal Ibn Al-Hammam justifies that by saying that marriage
is so close to worship that being occupied with it is better than full dedication to worship, as we, God willing, will demonstrate. Therefore, [the author] places the rites of worship before it. . . . Then he mentions how it is regarded and the differences of scholars over it. He concludes that its being regarded as better than full dedication to worship is more valid. He says, “In general, what is best is to follow precedents rather than what seems to a person to be better because it is, on the surface, worship and devotion. God could not have accepted for His Prophet anything less than the best of everything. His status until his death was that of a married man. It is impossible that God would have allowed him to leave what was better all through his life.” . . . When one considers what marriage involves of improvement of manners, increasing a person's tolerance through intimacy with creatures of the same species, child raising, taking care of the interests of someone who cannot manage on his own, supporting relatives and oppressed people, allowing for the chastity of close female relatives as well as himself, sparing them and himself temptations and the need for frugality. . . when one considers all this, he would hardly think before he confirms that marriage is better than full devotion.”
Ibn Rushd says, “In general marriage is desirable and recommended. . . . When a person needs to get married, cannot go on without a woman, and has no female slaves to sleep with, marriage for him is an obligation.”
Al-Kasani says, “There is no contesting that marriage is an obligation in the case of yearning. A person who yearns to have a woman and cannot tolerate being without one is a sinner if he fails to marry.”
Ibn Qudama of the Hanbali School says in his book Al-Mughni (The Sufficient Book):
In the matter of marriage people are of three types. Some of them fear that they might be led to sin if they do not marry. For such a person, marriage, according to the majority of jurists, is an obligation, because it will make him chaste and keep him from sinning. Marriage is his only option. The other type is that of a person for whom marriage is recommended. This is a person who has sexual desire but can keep himself from sin. For such a person, as believed by those who are entitled to give an opinion, being occupied with marriage is better than full devotion to recommended worship rites. This is also the apparent meaning of statements by Companions of the Prophet, as well as their practice. . . .
Ibn Qudama proceeds to cite examples, some of which are quoted above.
Al-Qurtubi says, “There is a unanimity that a capable person who fears hazards to his faith or to himself resulting from celibacy should get married.”
Sheikh Al-Islam [Ibn Taimiyah] says, “If a person feels the urge to get married and fears to be in distress if he does not, he should give it priority over obligatory pilgrimage. If he fears no distress, pilgrimage has priority. Imam Ahmad, as quoted by Saleh and others, states that, and Abu Bakr has opted for it.”
Other Cultures and Marriage
Marriage is essential to human nature as formed by God. Infidel nations, therefore, have paid special attention to it, either because they recognize its benefits or following the recommendations of what is left to them of their corrupt religions.
Nations of the past gave marriage special importance. Celibacy for them was disgraceful, and many of them believed that a person who died unmarried was deprived of God's mercy. They applied unfavorable, embarrassing adjectives to such a person, and he was usually inclined to avoid people.
In 1661, Louis XIV issued a decree exempting married people of the age of 20-25 from taxes, and in 1798 he issued regulations of rent values and tax collection in which he doubled the taxes on bachelors who were 20 or older.
Wise people in the West, in the face of widespread permissiveness and debauchery, call for early marriage. Will Durant says:
We do not seem to be aware of the social evil that we can attribute to delayed marriage. Undoubtedly, part of that evil results from a latent desire for polygamy that we still have, but, most probably, the major part results from the unnatural delay of marital life. The permissiveness that we witness after marriage most likely results from the habits developed before it. We may try to understand the biological and social causes of this flourishing industry, or may bypass it as inevitable, which is the point of view of many thinkers today. It is, however, a disgrace to regard with pleasure the fact that half a million American girls offer themselves at the alter of permissiveness. Nor is the other side of the picture less depressing, for every man who postpones marriage tends to go out with call girls who loiter in the streets in explicit indecency.
In times of old, people married early, and that was the right solution for the sexual problem. Nowadays, the age of marriage is being postponed, and there are those who do not mind changing several engagement rings. A government that manages to make laws to facilitate early marriages will be worthy of our appreciation, because it will be offering the best solution for the sex problem of our times.
If people who live in permissive, lecherous societies and have no moral objection to illicit relationships are pointing out the importance of marriage, those whom God has protected from sin and who are aware of its dangers have a better call to do the same.
The Benefits of Early Marriage
When a young man and a young woman marry at an early age, they reap several benefits.
1. They get all the above-mentioned advantages and values of marriage.
2. Young men and women today are tormented by the temptations and stimulation they are exposed to everywhere. When young people postpone marriage, they have one of two alternatives, with no third. They either commit sin, and then hopefully suffer pain and sorrow for what they have done, or are protected by God, the Most Glorious and Sublime, and they conquer their desires and their own evil, but still they live in confusion and frustration.
3. Marriage brings psychological stability and comfort. “One of His signs is that he created for you spouses from among yourselves to be a solace to you, and planted love and compassion in you towards each other.”
Contemporary studies have demonstrated the psychological and social stability which marriage produces. A Western writer says, “Permanent celibacy exposes a person to all types and forms of psychological disorder. The soul gets corrupted and it acquires mercilessness, cruelty, frivolity, rashness, and instability.” George Inktell says, “Since the beginning of the twentieth century, celibacy has represented endless misery that often ends with suicide or madness.”
When young men or women postpone marriage they are depriving themselves of the opportunity of securing stability in that important stage of their lives.
4. Married people acquire a feeling of responsibility. Education these days has helped to raise individuals who are dependent on others and unable to shoulder any responsibility. A young person spends sixteen years or more studying, and during that period he has no fixed income. Usually he is a dependant of his parents. A young man badly needs to have a feeling of responsibility, and an early marriage develops such a feeling in him.
5. Early married contributes to a healthy upbringing of children, because the age gap between early-married parents and their children, particularly the older ones, is not wide. The eldest child reaches the age of adulthood, as defined in Islamic Law, before the father is 40. In such a situation, parents find it easier to deal with their children, understand their problems, and educate them.
6. The children will take over the household chores and relieve their parents. When the parents reach the age of 40, the children are already capable of doing chores and errands for the household, which gives the father some free time, which he can exploit, and allow him to achieve things worthy of the stage of maturity that he has reached.
7. Early marriage offers a greater likelihood of begetting good children, since it allows better upbringing, as already mentioned. And also it gives a better chance of having a large number of children. The Prophet (PBUH) says: “When a man dies his work comes to an end except for three things, a running charity, scholarship that others benefit from, and good offspring praying for him” (Muslim, 3084, quoting Abu Hurairah).
8. Early marriage in most cases means early parenthood, and the age of parents influences the intelligence of children. Al-Mawardi says, “The best children in physical appearance, behavior, and manners are those born to a mother who is 20-30 years of age.”
Recent studies have concluded that the chance of having retarded children is higher in the case of mothers under 20 or over 35 than those between 20 and 35. Recent studies have also concluded that the percentage of deformed and mentally retarded children gets higher the older the father is, and it is particularly high for fathers over 45.