Why do youths hate marriage! [Archive] - Ummah.com

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EVILution

10-05-02, 12:21 PM

Aslaam u Alaikum,

Some opinions.

Waslaam.

Muslim Sista

10-05-02, 12:37 PM

Salaam,
I think youths hate marriages because it takes away their freedom.

Bash ah Rat

10-05-02, 03:04 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Living in a corrupt society (england) our youth is exposed to the kufr way of life and look at it on its face value and they see it as fun and do not realise the implications of it.

This then entices them to enjoy that society and forget there deen, which they have moved away from.

Then there are all the cultural aspects that tie in with marriage:

- get married within the family
- you dont have a choice in who you marry

All these wrong influences portray the wrong image of marriage and for this reason it puts off people.

F R E S H

10-05-02, 03:30 PM

As always bash ah rat continuing to influence the social forum, with his affluent mannerisms, and general sincerity !!!!

Wasalaam

AnnaMarie

10-05-02, 06:07 PM

i don't think youths hate marraige.I know that when I am out of college and in my twenties i will want to be married but right now I am only 18 and its not that I hate marraige but I know I wouldn't be ready for one because I am so young.I will not be stable in a job or in myself.Also I don't think I have grown up enough inorder to to be responsible enough to care for children.But to each his own.

Ebony

11-05-02, 11:31 AM

aa#

i think most of the youths wud agree with muslim sis...it takes away their freedom. they c it as limiting their freedom as to what they can and cant do. Probably coz of the experiences of other ppl around them..or mayb coz they just dnt 'jump' at the idea of it. Trust me..some ppl r defintely not MATURE just coz theyre 18..lol :o (not talking about myself, of course!) plus..if u marry young..like some ppl do in other countries at 13/14 (yes tht stil happens, folks) how r u suposed 2 take care of ur husband when u dnt hve a clue hw2take care of urself!? its only after a few years..when u reach ur mid to late teens do u hve any idea of what 'responsibilty' is.. well thts my point of view. :)

Ws

Bash ah Rat

11-05-02, 04:17 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Very good point brother, it is true due to the luxuries in this kuffar society children mature at a later age and therfore are only prepared for marriage at a later age.

I believe you cannot provide a specific age as when is best to get married as each person is different, for some it will be beneficial to get married at a young age for others it is not.

I for one cannot wait to get married as inshallah it will strengthen my deen and will help me in my search to increase my Iman. If all brothers and sisters saw marriage in its islamic meaning they would all strive to get married as soon as possible.

I cannot stress the importance of marriage enough and I have a good understanding as to its benefits and am grateful for Allah (swt) of allowing this beautiful bond between man and wife.

The beauty of Allah's creation can only be marvelled at.

EVILution

13-05-02, 11:52 AM

Aslaam u Alaikum,

Another question why do men adore getting married while most women don't?

F R E S H

13-05-02, 08:44 PM

Men adore getting married lol, well if you find the right partner marriage will and is a blessing !?! There is nothing to fear but as previous posts have suggested people loose the islamic value of marriage in the face of cultural values and that in my view looses the shine of marriage !

Bash ah Rat

14-05-02, 09:51 AM

Assalamu alaikum

I think if you see the number of views each thread gets, the ones with the most views are marriage related. This shows that there is a keen interest of the ummah regarding marriage.

What you have to understand here is that the process of marriage has been highly doctrinated with culture and the Islamic rulings have been put aside.

An example that many of you maybe able to relate to:

People (particularly women) are no longer given a choice in relation to who they are going to marry, they are basically told! and if you argue, you are going against the wills of your parents. Whereas Islam says it is up to the individual to decide if they wish to marry a person or not.

As to the preference issue in relation to men and women, the reason here is that (my opinion) men are given more choice and are not as pressured to get married to a particular person and often can get married to who they want as they have that element of freedom to find a suitable partner.

Whereas women are not given this 'freedom' and are therefore forced into marriage against their will and for this reason they do not like marriage.

I think this is the main reason for men being 'for' marriage and women 'against' it.

Ebony

27-02-05, 05:04 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Very good point brother.

Sister

dour

27-02-05, 05:12 PM

People, both men and women, might want to be on their own for a bit. Focus on higher education and career and worry about starting a family latter in life. People are living longer and there is no longer a big rush or reason to start a family at a young age.

Abdul-Curim

27-02-05, 06:27 PM

dour , are you a jew ?

*sista

27-02-05, 06:33 PM

assalamualaikum

naaah i think it is a generalisation saying that the youth dont like marriage....i dont think thats true - perhaps those who arent practising,,then yeah they juss like to doss around etc anyway

but as for practisin muslim sisters..i think even those who are around 16-18 are up for marriage (thats from what i have seen in vast MAJORITY of the sisters)

so i wouldnt say - 'it takes away their freedom' - thts a naive point of view..and its the view of a narrow minded person who aways wana have the kufar kind of :freedom: .... naah i dont agree with that...freedom?! maan what kind of freedom do u guys want who say marriage takes away the freedom?!!?!?

those ppl who have such an opinion should rethink it - and realise the importance of marriage esp in this day and age..

dour

27-02-05, 06:41 PM

dour , are you a jew ?

Does it really matter what I am?

PaGaL~LaDo0

27-02-05, 08:51 PM

wo0o0ho0o00o man ma m8 she got engaged @ 15 n gttin marrid diz decemba-feb tym w0o0h00oo00o cnt w8 inshAllah itz gnna b jkez man n shes propa appy bout er marg man itz rckz ow0o00o0oo0h0o0o :D :D :D :D :D

slmz :)

27-02-05, 08:58 PM

^^^ ye so have i got a frend like that huma but shes tottaly against it! she dnt wana get married :(^^^

PaGaL~LaDo0

27-02-05, 09:11 PM

^^^ ye so have i got a frend like that huma but shes tottaly against it! she dnt wana get married :(^^^

ahh man dun la...dtz vel sad....y doz she nt lak da fella or summic?

i memba wen me m8 gt engaged she rng me up goz i need 2 c ya i woz lak im cmmin out so v wnt 4 diz looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong wlk lo0o0ol n she tld me everyfin n i woz lak :( ur gnna leve me but wo0o00oho00o0o :D :D :D her weddinz gnna b jkz inshAllah

i hope all goes well for your friend inshAllah

w0oo0o0h0o :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

slmz :)

27-02-05, 09:13 PM

she duznt even NO the fella... frced marriage but i aint sure wots goin on.... congrats 2 ur frend tho!

PaGaL~LaDo0

27-02-05, 09:15 PM

she duznt even NO the fella... frced marriage but i aint sure wots goin on.... congrats 2 ur frend tho!

ahhhh man dtz da wrzt man inshAllAH all will go well for her :D inshAllah

fnxz :D :D :D :D :D

Ebony

28-02-05, 08:17 PM

... naah i dont agree with that...freedom?! maan what kind of freedom do u guys want who say marriage takes away the freedom?!!?!?

by "freedom" what is meant is tht most youngesters may have a problem/issue with having to be accountable fr what they do, where they go; to tell their spouse tht they r going to such and such a place etc may to them feel like a restriction of their "freedom"

Though im sure most do tht anyway with their parents as it is...only diff is tht u would do so with your spouse after marriage

Ws

muslimah85

28-02-05, 08:21 PM

they probaby hate men in genral simple!:up:

Ebony

28-02-05, 08:23 PM

they probaby hate men in genral simple!:up:

maybe :p

Ahlam

28-02-05, 08:36 PM

Asalamu alaykum

Too much stress....
Think about his/her feelings...
Too complicated issue...
The torture of the wedding...
Family members gawping as though you have a huge mole growing from your cheek?

Ebony

28-02-05, 08:39 PM

muslimah85

28-02-05, 08:40 PM

lol!

Ahlam

28-02-05, 09:10 PM

Been there done tht eh? :D

LOL! Actually nope….

me_omar

28-02-05, 09:45 PM

i don't think that they necessarily hate marriage, but marriage is not a joke and maybe they have seen so many marriages that are complete failures !

muslimah85

01-03-05, 07:31 AM

thats very true br omar! but the way i look at it marraige is what u make it, if u both put in the time, effort and love inshllah it will succeed. I can't wait!lol :inlove:

Naiha

01-03-05, 09:58 AM

to me the younger generation see marriage as a obstacle in their way of freedom, but there is a majority of youngsters who are actual influenced by their peer groups into thinking that marriage is a negative thing...to me you have to face reality..someday or another everyone is to get married...if ppl don't start facing it and start to change their way of thinking then it may lead them having problems in the future with either their parents or life partner....marriage is essential thing in life....yeah we youngsters want to be indepedant and all that....and i think we all at some point start to feel like life is going to be like this for us...us getting on with our own lives,....standing on our own two feet......but life is incomplete..and according to our deen marriage is a farz....

Siddiqa

01-03-05, 08:29 PM

Multitude of reasons...

Like some of you mentioned, so no point in me iterating. Not to mention, a bit impatient today. :D

A couple of reasons... commitment phobia and having too high of expectations from/in relationships.

The oh so influential media has much to do with instilling unrealistic expectations of love/people in our minds. Everyone is on the lookout for that prince charming or that princess, with whom to live happily ever after. Blah blah blah... *you guys know the rest*

Not to mention, the feminist movement that promotes women to remain single and "blissful"... whilst on the other end, you have something similar goin on with the guys.

*...told you I was impatient* ;)

muslimah85

01-03-05, 08:35 PM

:nuts:

Songbird

03-03-05, 02:21 AM

Sometimes I wish icons were not allowed on this discussion forum.

What exactly does your icon say, Muslimah85?

Black_Flag

04-03-05, 09:40 AM

~*UC*~

05-03-05, 06:16 AM

Crono

05-03-05, 09:13 PM

Ya Allah... gatting married couldn't come any slower, i don't think i'll ever get married, as eger as i want to..i will prolly turn down every proposal i get (if any) untill my frinds practicly force me to get married..l.

i need to be more social...i am to shy to even talk to my own mother :/... and i live with her

simplicity

07-03-05, 05:12 PM

marriage?? :rubeyes: i think i'm too young to even think about it though my mum loves to say i'm old enought to be married. :rolleyes: well, there's the problem of finding the right guy. and once the seach is over,there's still the issue if the right guy actually wants to get married. there's financial stability to make sure. and if i even want children. see. so many things to tackle..

veilofmysoul

07-03-05, 10:11 PM

Assalam-u-Alaikum =)

Ahem... if u want a real answer about the whole youth thing with marriage ..I would love to answer..=)... i think im the youngest here and if im not then..thaz kool..but im pweetty sure i am
anyways back to the subject -
As a youth i dont hate marriage and neither do i think it takes away my rights or freedom.. to tell u the truth if i got a proposal today i would take it into consideration (this does not mean i want u to propose =P ). I think marriage is a great thing..all my life i never wanted to have a best friend... i've always kept those things about me that are most precious to me for myself until i get married and then i hope to share them with my hum safar - husband - life long partner. inshAllah i'm hoping marriage will strengthen the Iman of the youth and May it help us succeed in this life and the next. A husband and wife are supposed to love each other in a way that they will help the other improve on their flaws and help each other succeed. Of course all of us girls have our knight in shining armor in our minds of how we want the man of our dreams, but the most important characteristic is Deen. If the husband and wife both have deen or are making efforts towards it then thats the best way.
Life isnt always perfect and we have to be greatful to Allah of what kind of Life long partner we get. I donno maybe i dont hate marriage is because i have a hope in my mind and i have faith in Allah that inshAllah he will give me the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armor. Whatever happens, is from Allah we should all be thankful to the most Merciful. And even if the guy isnt the man of my dreams..we can work on that..transform him (kidding) =P

well this is my answer ... I as a youth have nothin against marriage, but the main thing is that if i get married before i finish my edumacation then i want my husband to let me continue my studies afterwards..its not immpossible, nothin is impossible..and if he doesnt..then bye bye B4 i marry him

I think there are other ppl out there who are afraid of marriage because of the commitment... maybe they think they wont be able to be the perfect wife, because i do no ppl who have this thinking. and some just want to be free and think of marriage as something that will stop them from achieving goals.

But inshAllah whatever happens is from Allah and be thankful with what u have and ask Allah to guide those who have gone astray and to strenghten the bond between those who have become weak..Ameen Allahumma Ameen Ya Rabil Alameen

Take care

Wa Assalam-u-Alaikum =D

~~:wacko: :nuts:

ThE aPpReNtIcE

07-03-05, 10:52 PM

hey im young..but i aint afraid of marriage..im ready :P

Muslim Sista

08-03-05, 12:29 PM

allah help u

moshyman

08-03-05, 12:31 PM

Well I'm off to get married now...

Unknownone

08-03-05, 02:16 PM

I do not think youths hate marriage, but rather, there are too many restrictions imposed on them by family and society. Nowadays, people wait until they are in their late twenties or early thirties, where they have completed their education and have a job so that they can support their future family.

If a youth wants to get married, parents usually reply by saying "you are still too young", "you can't even take care of yourself how will you take care of your wife?", "finish your studies". I understand that some of these are fine, but we must remember it is Allah who sustains us, and so, not marrying from the fear that we won't be able to look after ourselves and our spouse after marriage is to me, wrong.

I doubt also, that any youth actually talk openly about marriage with parents because they usually get shunned or are too humble to do that. I think parents have a duty towards their children in preparing them for this important aspect of life. If a youth wishes to marry, then do not put him off by saying "you cannot take care of yourself". No, a child does not learn responsibility if responsibility is not given to him. The implications and complications of marriage must be discussed so that a youth makes the right decision.

muslimah85

08-03-05, 08:07 PM

hey im young..but i aint afraid of marriage..im ready :P

how old ae you bro? remeber we always go into marraige naively no one is ever ready (not that i'd no i aint married) bt from what i've heard:torture:

Unknownone

08-03-05, 08:24 PM

You never know, he might be ready :) But he should try and see if he fits one of the criteria for marriage.