What do women think of the multiple wife ruling? [Archive] - Ummah.com

PeaceCharity

05-04-02, 10:25 AM

Originally posted by F R E S H
We have gone over this many times before but those who are ignorant amongst us, Islam does see men as a greater being to women, is it that hard to understand!

I beg to differ, :mad: in Islam only piousness makes one better than another; not gender, color, age, race...

If you you need, :rolleyes: I can post some daleel later, insha'Allah.

As for the question about polygny... ;)

I accept it, as I see that it is needed to keep society 'clean'(?), and because I would like all of my sisters to have the opprotunity to have families of their own. :)
-Love for your brother/sister what you love for yourself.-

-Charity :o

Bash ah Rat

05-04-02, 02:41 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Brother Fresh, a man who speaks such wisdom normally, has maybe erred or misrepresented himself in this statement.

You cannot say women are inferior to men, it is true that there are fundamental differences in man and woman but this does not mean man is superior to woman.

I completely agree with the counter statement made by Peace Charity.

As for polygamy, there are many benefits of it. Mainly I think it is quite evident that man has a greater sexual desire and Islam recognises this and has therefore catered for it.

As for my views on polygamy, I think it is entirely upto the preference of the individual. I personally would not get married more than once as Inshallah I will be happy enough with one wife.

shaver

05-04-02, 03:10 PM

I think that the Quran does mention that men are superior to women so Fresh is using the Quran to back up his statement.

The remark about sexual desires- why should men be allowed to have multiple wives just to have sex? It seems to me that this view of marriage is rather physical and takes away from the relationship.

Do people not wish for one man-one woman marriage?
If Islam is the best religion why do the laws compromise because of man's lack of self-control?

Yours,
Shaver

F R E S H

05-04-02, 11:04 PM

Salaam people lol i am shocked that i wrote Islam sees women in a gretaer light that women, when we all know Islam has a high esteem for women, all i can say for my earlier post is i must have submitted it before actually reading thankyou Brother Bash for bringing that to my attention, so people typing error or mere stupidity on my part----...

Sultan

05-04-02, 11:44 PM

shaver

07-04-02, 04:51 PM

F R E S H

08-04-02, 12:02 AM

Shaver in Islam four wives are allowed to a muslim man but before a man can marry say his second wife he must have the permission of his first wife, so calling is sex crazed just shows ure ignorance to the situation ! If his first wife has no problem with it and he has a good reason, Islam allows it so what is the problem!

Bash ah Rat

08-04-02, 11:29 AM

Asslamau alaikum

As far as I am aware there is no evidence to show that the wifes consent is either sought or required before a man can get married again.

Although I do agree with you Fresh regarding the fact that it would be wise to consult ones wife before getting married again, and as a muslim wife she would have no argument against it.

Sorry Brother Fresh for seemingly criticising what you have written, its just that I always read with great enthusiasm your comments as they are so insightful and thought provoking.

Its just on these very few occasions I think you may have wavered, nothing personal. I just felt it is best to have things clarified.

EVILution

08-04-02, 12:28 PM

Brother Bash Ah Rat, let Brother Fresh think the way he is so far, atleast this way he'll be faithful to his wife, not that anyone will want to marry him in the first place! :D

Bash ah Rat

08-04-02, 01:16 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Muslim youth, I don't know whether you have a grudge against Brother Fresh but if you have you should not be using Islam to further your grudge.

As to the criticism you made of Fresh, Firstly I corrected Brother Fresh as this forum is primarily there to educate the ummah and if people were not corrected on there errors a lot of mis-information would be around.

It is haram for you to slander another brother or sister and you should ask for forgiveness and hope that the Brother is not offended by what you have said.

I'm also dissapointed in the fact that you have tried to bring me into this by referring to me.

I hope you take note of this muslim youth, this type of behaviour is not befitting of a muslim.

I'm sorry if I have sounded a bit harsh but that was not my intention, I just wanted to stress the importance of civilty. As I believe by "putting" people "down", people degenerate the topics and therefore people will not partake in discussions in fear of being belitttled.

EVILution

08-04-02, 06:35 PM

I bet Fresh is going to love every word he reads from your post, I hope your happy brother Bash.
Lol, I just hope Fresh see's where I'm getting at unlike some. :p :p :p

julaybib

08-04-02, 09:25 PM

Hey, hey, hey! Let's not lashing out at each other.:eek:

Verily Man is in loss,
Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.
(Al Ashr 2-3)

Don't you guys understand, that Shaver finds the concept of polygami difficult because he's not supposed to get married! Ohh, lonely and cold nights ahead...:D

F R E S H

08-04-02, 11:14 PM

Salaam Brother bash not seen you here for awhile all is well i hope !!!!! As for me getting married people that is a qadaa wal qadar issue so lets leave it at that. Bash is right the primary goal of this forum is to eductae not to slander ! Now as for muslim youths comments i take them in the best of content as ajoke because we as muslims cannot judge intentions only actions and i see that post as a joke so no offence will be taken, but bash does have a point we as muslims should act with sincerity and civility to everyone we meet and greet....... and brother bash i would have to disagree with your post i have heard evidence to say a wife's permission is required but i will get back to you on that matter !

salaam

Bash ah Rat

09-04-02, 08:55 AM

Assalamu alaikum

Jazakallah Brother Fresh, I am very well. It is good to see you are continuing to carrying out the good work of the dawah to the ummah. May Allah reward you.

I'm sorry Muslim Youth you seem to have misinterpreted my comments, it is not about siding with people or keeping people happy.

My intention is solely to pass on the little knowledge that I have to aid the ummah in living to the Deen that was given to us by our glorious prophet Muhammed (may Allah bless him).

Inshallah I do not intend any harm in my comments

EVILution

09-04-02, 05:29 PM

Originally posted by F R E S H
....and brother bash i would have to disagree with your post i have heard evidence to say a wife's permission is required but i will get back to you on that matter !

salaam

Aslaam u Alaikum brother,

I have not read that you HAVE to have the permission from your wife/wives if you want to marry again. But what I do know is that in some marriage certificates you can include this condition that without the wives permission you can't remarry. So basically I'd say it's probably more of a culture thing, rather than Islam.

For example, if a Pakistani man remarries, the first wife cries so much as if he's committed suicide (I have seen it with my eyes)! Stupid in my opinion but true.

And brother's from my part I will try to post as peacefully as possible.

Waslaam.

amal

09-04-02, 05:30 PM

The woman is not being viewed as lesser beings than men. Even if the religion give them the freedom to marry four times in this days hardlly can find a man which has more than one wife. They know the women cannot accept the idea to share the beloved man. Anyhow if you choose carefully the woman with which share your life you will be happy with only one :)

shaver

10-04-02, 03:58 PM

Can I ask people about this please?
I found it on "that site" but if the info contained is accurate it is truly disturbing.

[link removed by mods]

Please tell me these Hadiths are corrupted, otherwise I am truly appalled as will all Muslim women.

Yours,
Shaver

Bash ah Rat

10-04-02, 04:27 PM

Assalamu alaikum

Shaver, as far as I am aware the Hadiths are true. However:

You need to understand the context they were given in, in that they were to serve as a warning to women that they should be wary and stay away from these types of sins.

This in no means refers to women as un equal, more over it implies they tend to commit this kind of sin and should therefore refrain from it.

shaver

10-04-02, 04:34 PM

Bash- so will more women be in hell than men?

Are women more sinful than men then?

Yours,
Shaver

julaybib

10-04-02, 10:34 PM

No way! This hadith never tries to generalize women as being more sinful. The fact that there are more women in hell just means that there were, are and will be more women who live carelessly than men. No women should be worried about it, as long as they are consistent with their religion.

F R E S H

10-04-02, 11:48 PM

Regarding the permission required of the first wife, i have no learnt that no the permission of the first wife is not required but a man if he is going to marry more than once should be able to keep both wifes happy otherwise he ahould refrain from having a second, third or fourth wife

salaam

p.s then again i have heard it migh be a fiqh issue according to ure school of thought but hanafi school says no permission is required !

Sultan

10-04-02, 11:53 PM

Originally posted by shaver
Sultan- no where in the bible is polygamy allowed. The monogamy idea comes from Genesis, before the fall of Adam.

Adam and Eve become one flesh.

Hence monogamy. It is not a stupid question. I am seriously interested in how women in Islam view what, is to me, a very sexist law allowing sex crazed men to justify their lustful urges.

Sultan- how many wives do you have?

Yours,
Shaver

Shaver. You tell a lie again.

Read your bible. Abraham (PBUH) had two wives. Read how many Soloman (PBUH) had? If you say the Bible forbids polygomy, THEN PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Bash ah Rat

11-04-02, 08:39 AM

Assalamu alaikum

Shaver, Im not aware that women are more sinful than man and I dont think that this hadiths implies this. Merely it just implies that women should guard against these sins, so they will avoid hell.

Also the reason why there are more women in hell than men maybe due to the fact that eventually the population on earth will be such that there will be fifty women to one man. Mybe then this relates to why there are more women in hell than men?

shaver

11-04-02, 01:24 PM

Sultan- the bible records many sins of man. This does not mean that God allows it. Solomon had hundreds of wives and his heart turned from God. That does not mean that we should all do likewise.

The bible records the sins of all the great men of the bible to show that they need Jesus' sacrifice.

I do not like being called a liar, especially when I speak the truth. So please refrain. If there is a law about polygomy in the bible it is not to my knowledge. So, Sultan, you are misinformed here. You are misreading the bible.

The Quran mentions unbelievers ascribing partners to God, does that mean that The Quran allows it? NO!!
It just records it to show the sinfulness of man.

yours,
Shaver/

amal

11-04-02, 06:21 PM

Fresh do you really believe a man can make happy 2,3, 4 wives? May be he can ensure a good life for them , material speaking ,but if you think at woman feelings very hard you will find one which is happy .

Sultan

11-04-02, 07:42 PM

Shaver,

It seems I am more knowledgable on the bible than you are.

There is no law prohibiting polygomy. I have checked out a couple of jewish websites on the subject.

The fact is, during 'old testament' times, polygomy was the norm. It was only during 'new testament' times, when Isreal was greatly influenced by greek ideas (polygomy was abhored by the greeks) that monogomy became the norm.

To ascribe marriage as a sin is ridiculous in the extreme.

shaver

12-04-02, 10:46 AM

Sultan- My point is that polygamy was not the ideal that God set down in Genesis, before the fall. The laws in the Old testament are highly suggestive, if not commanding, of a one wife ruling. Check out the whole coveting etc.

Your knowledge of the bible is sometimes ok but generally your reading is out of context and highly suspect. As this case shows.

Yours,
Shaver

jamila

13-04-02, 08:51 PM

Originally posted by shaver
Sultan- My point is that polygamy was not the ideal that God set down in Genesis, before the fall. The laws in the Old testament are highly suggestive, if not commanding, of a one wife ruling. Check out the whole coveting etc.

Your knowledge of the bible is sometimes ok but generally your reading is out of context and highly suspect. As this case shows.

Yours,
Shaver

Abraham, 'the father' of the sky religions, had 3 wives. Moses, the founder of the Jewish religion, had 2 wives. David had a number of wives, but I forget how many. Solomon was never turned against by Allah. Where does it say thet in the Bible or elsewhere. He had 100 wives and 300 concubines. He must have been a superman! Alexander the Great (probably Dhul Qarnayn - but this is not certain) had 2 wives. Several Church Fathers had more than one wife, and Luther approved of Polygamy. Keep your lies to yourself and talk straight. It seems, from your inumerable posts, you cannot help but lie and misrepresent not only what little you know of Islam, but what little you know of Christianity. And the manner of your genralizations, with their opointed implications, is enough for us to realise, if you are the 'good Christian' you purport to be, just how much Christianity is based on conmanship and falsehood.

shaver

15-04-02, 04:54 PM

Jamila- again, my point is that those people sinned when they had multiple wives. The ideal that God set down was one wife. Just because the bible records the sins of men, it does not mean that sin is allowed.

Alex the Great- has nothing to do with the commands of God!

Solomon in 1 Kings 11v9- "The LORD became angry with Solomon
because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice."

So, you did not make any point in your last post.

Yours,
Shaver

jamila

16-04-02, 05:18 AM

Originally posted by shaver
Jamila- again, my point is that those people sinned when they had multiple wives. The ideal that God set down was one wife. Just because the bible records the sins of men, it does not mean that sin is allowed.

Alex the Great- has nothing to do with the commands of God!

Solomon in 1 Kings 11v9- "The LORD became angry with Solomon
because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice."

So, you did not make any point in your last post.

Yours,
Shaver
So? What's your point? I've yet to see evidence that any of the Prophets were "turned away from" due to having multiple wives, including your irrelevant (to this question) quotation above. :rolleyes:
Jamila

heena

16-04-02, 09:28 AM

Assalaam-u-alaikum
I want to reply to the question that what muslim women think about the multiple wife ruling.
For me personally,it would be quite ok if my husband would marry a widdow or a woman who is poor and needs a husband to support her and take care of her.But he have to behave equally with both of us as it is stated in Quran that if your are doubted that you cannot treat your wives equally than one marriage is enough.I don not think at all that their is any uneguality or unfairness with women in this ruling.I donnot think that it can work that a woman have more that one husband at a time :rolleyes:
As this is not the last world,this is just an examination for us.The real world is in heaven or hell,We have to sacrifice too.I agree that it is a bit difficult to accept another wife to your husband but as muslims we have to take care of the whole ummah (nation) and i am not so selfish that i only think about my own feelings and not of my other muslim sisters.Actually i am not very good in English otherwise i would have described you my opinion in a better way.:)
But i donnot understand why you people don't understand the purpose of this ruling.It's not so surprizing.For me never to get married as nuns and perhaps some priest do is much more surprizing than that.That person is really considered a very good christian who do this .And if all people would not marry to be a very goood christian what would happen to the whole human race or mankind?
Or maybe i have a very little knowledge of christianity. i have just seen in movies tht nuns are regarded as they are really pious and near to God.
I respect all religions and don't want to hurt any body's feeling when the religions are concerened.I don't think that i have said any such thing but if i have i am sorry for that :)
Take care
Allah hafiz/bye

hen

18-04-02, 05:28 PM

Dear Heena,

You stated..."For me never to get married as nuns and perhaps some priest do is much more surprizing than that.That person is really considered a very good christian who do this .And if all people would not marry to be a very goood christian what would happen to the whole human race or mankind?
Or maybe i have a very little knowledge of christianity. i have just seen in movies tht nuns are regarded as they are really pious and near to God.
I respect all religions and don't want to hurt any body's feeling when the religions are concerened.I don't think that i have said any such thing but if i have i am sorry for that ."

I grew up with lots of Catholics altho I am not. I have several cousins who are nuns too. They do it to devote themselves to God and to serving God without any restraints . Some people in the US admire them others think they are weird. Right now in the Catholic church there is a debate about this because of the abuse problems that have surfaced there. There are a few in Protestant Church who abstain from marriage to serve the Lord but they are very few . Anyways the standard for being considred a good Christian is if the person is following Christ seriously.

Hen

heena

19-04-02, 10:02 AM

Thanks for the information Hen.:)
I just stated it because there are many christians who critize multiplewife ruling in Islam.While there are many things in christianity which can be critisized and are being citisized.In this stage i think we should stop critisizing eachother and accept each other with our beliefs and religion.
Thanks again for replying
Bye

hen

19-04-02, 02:33 PM

Heena,

Yes most Christians dont understand the multiple wife thing. Polygamy is even agaisnt the law here in the US. So yes its very foreign to our way of thinking. Personally, I think I would hate to have another woman in my house, around my husband. I think I would be jealous or be depressed and not feel loved. Especially if I was the older of the two (or three or four). I mean do the wives have to compete for their husband's attention or affection? Who cooks dinner and who cleans? What does the husband do when all 4 of them have PMS at the same time? Seriously, think about it. Certainly the husband would have a favorite and then all the other wives would get mad at the favorite one and make her life miserable. I wonder what percentage of the Muslim population worldwide practices polygamy? Do you know? And of the ones who do how many wives REALLY like it?

Anyways, please be assured that I do accept you and respect your religious conviction.

Hen

jamila

19-04-02, 09:27 PM

Hen,
Actually, you're right practically speaking. It is difficult for men to be fair. But there are guidelines.

1. Equal time sharing. Each wife has "her day" with her husband, starting at sunset and finishing at sunset. We have this 'day' whether or not we have our period.
2. Penetration and lower body sex is prohibited when we've got the period.
3. We get to look after our man on this day (cooking, cleaning, talking, relaxing with him).
4. We have a right to a home each (separate). This might consist of no more than a room, but it's ours.
5. Whatever a man gives as a gift to one, should be given to all.
6. Each wife has the right to necessities - these may differ from wife to wife, but should not include special luxuries.
7. Like everything else, chores should be shared equitably. Perhaps in rotation, like the days.
8. Travelling rights. A man who is travelling may need to take one of his wives, but not all. But he should be fair in selecting. The prophet (sawa) suggested the use of 'short straws' whenever such a decision (which should be "treated") came up.
9. Men naturally have favorites. but they should not let that influence their fairness. The Qur'an says that a man should not leave one of his wives hanging, even if he should dislike her.
10. I only know of one friend who actually likes being one of two wives.

There are lots of ways and means to make the institution of polygamy not only bearable, but an enjoyable and sharing experience. But practice is never the same as the theory. None of our men are perfect, are they? Nor are we.
jamila

Banu

22-04-02, 10:12 PM

In Islam Polygamy is allowed BUT under the condition that he will be equal with all the wives. There is a Hadith which I tried to search but couldn't find. However I read it definitely.
I don't remeber the exact wording but it more or less implies that whoever married more than one wife and if he failed to do justice in his relation with his wives he will be resurrected on Qiyamah with disbalance shoulder (I think if I am not wrong the wording is that his one shoulder will be touching the ground).
So Islam just do not give a carte blanc to men. There are conditions which has to be fulfilled. If someone fail to follow it, it is not the fault of Islam. That person will be fully accountable on the day of judgement.
If someone find that Hadith please quote it.

wassalam

Bash ah Rat

23-04-02, 10:03 AM

Assalamu alaikum

Banu, I think this is the hadith you are referring to:

Sunan Adu Dawud
Book 11, Number 2128:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.

There is also this hadith that puts this into context in that one can only control his actions not his nature in that he cannot help if he loves one wife more than the other/s:

Sunan Adu Dawud
Book 11, Number 2129:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:

The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) used to divide his time equally and said: O Allah, this is my division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what Thou possessest and I do not.

julaybib

23-04-02, 04:19 PM

Yup, I couldn't agree more. A wife is not a mere possession, it is a trust from Allah. Everyone of us is a shepherd, and we are accountable for the well being of our flocks. The more sheep you have, the longer it takes to count it, let alone assessing their well being. That's why some pious companions viewed wordly possession as calamity rather than blessing.

Banu

23-04-02, 04:27 PM

Waliakumussalam

Yes thats the Hadith. Jazakallah Khair

silkworm

20-04-06, 08:01 AM

Shaver, Hi there, first of all let me tell you that the site "answering islam" is an anti-islamic site, if you are interested in Islam, its great to have you here, if not answeringislam is best for you. If you are looking at Islam through Christian eyes there you will find thousand faults. Islam, infact have never considered women as weaker part but as a delicate part of human lives. Pre-islamic culture used to bury their daughter alive as they thought that daughters brings anxiety to their lives.

This was a notion as all the Chiefs of the tribes were rich and they never wanted to part their wealth in case their daughter is married to some other clan or tribe. Prophet Mohammad pbuh had only one wife that was a virgin, besides her all were widows. His first wife Khadija was 15 years senior in age. Western nation's idea of freedom allowed women to jump from bed to bed, and since I live in US i have been told by a 20 year old girl that she had 20 bed partners since stepping into puberty.

Do you think this is a decent way to "distribute" the most precious gift God has ever given to women so freely??? And then you talk about shyness, respect, self-esteem and wait for HIVs, Herpes, Gonorrhea, Genital worts and other STDs???.

How many women I have seen crying with pain, because of the ongoing sexcapades, they really don't know what to do and what to say - They are just been dumped for life and lost their respectable treasure for just one night of fun.

OthaEllen

20-04-06, 08:16 AM

What do the muslim women here think about the law in the Quran whereby men are allowed up to 4 wives?

Do they mind being viewed as lesser beings than men?

I would really like to hear from you muslim women on this one.

Yours,
Shaver

I am not muslim yet I see the value in polygamy. It can allow for the support and protection of widowed/divorced women, prevent infidelity, etc...

silkworm

22-04-06, 10:41 AM

ur_yusra

22-04-06, 01:08 PM

What do the muslim women here think about the law in the Quran whereby men are allowed up to 4 wives?

Do they mind being viewed as lesser beings than men?

I would really like to hear from you muslim women on this one.

Yours,
Shaver

If Allah (swt) says my husband can have another three wives.. then my husband can have another three wives.. all I expect in return is that he treats me the way Allah (swt) ordains him to treat all his wives - with justice..

Period :up:

OthaEllen

22-04-06, 08:51 PM

Othaellan, I am glad you agreed to it. That is exactly what it is meant for the Prophet Mohammad pnuh to give protection to widowed and divorced women. He was setting an example for Moslems otherwise he would not have done it. Now having so many widows and divorced women in that time, that would have had created a "social problem" and his actions were meant to discourage "corruption" and "infidelity" in society. All his marriages were made public and nothing was done secretly.

The reasons for polygamy, as outlined in Islam, are very honorable. I fail to see how non-Muslims can attack this Islamic practice since the emphasis is mostly on the protection of women and children. A man who marries an additional wife and offers her support/protection is doing far more for society than the man who simply has sexual relations with the widow/divorcee.

On the other hand, most Muslimah's that I have known, or that I've encountered on forums, do not support polygamy. I've yet to be given a good answer as to why a lot of Islamic women feel they should deny their husbands (and society) of this arrangement. In a sense, the inability for Muslim women to accept polygamy does more damage to this Islamic practice, than the voiced opposition offered by non-Muslims.:confused:

neelu

22-04-06, 09:39 PM

What do the muslim women here think about the law in the Quran whereby men are allowed up to 4 wives?

Muslim men have permission from Allah (swt) to have up to four wives. I don't have a problem with Allah's (swt) laws. They are far superior to any man made religion and/or ideology.

Do they mind being viewed as lesser beings than men?

I would really like to hear from you muslim women on this one.

I don't want to be viewed as a lesser being than a man, that's why I'm a Muslim. It's only in non Muslim culture/society that women's body parts are referred to as 'assets'- a comodity to be bought or sold.

Neelu
(A Muslim woman)

dhakiyya

22-04-06, 10:52 PM

If Allah (swt) says my husband can have another three wives.. then my husband can have another three wives.. all I expect in return is that he treats me the way Allah (swt) ordains him to treat all his wives - with justice..

Period :up:

I agree :up:

I don't think that such a ruling implies that women are less than men... it implies that men and women have differences that Islam accounts for. Men can have more than one wife without affecting the number of children that each of them can have. However, if a woman has two husbands, there is no certainty which is the father without DNA tests, and if one is more fertile than the other, the more fertile one will have the child every time and the less fertile is a lot less likely to father any children.

Polygamy is allowed for men only if they have the means to support each wife and all the children they have, and is able and willing to treat each wife equitably. He has to sleep with them in rotation unless the wife whose turn it is willingly gives up her turn, and he has to satisfy the sexual needs of all the wives too.

Also, polygamy is not compulsory, a woman who does not want to allow her husband to take a second wife is allowed to have it written into her marriage contract that he is not allowed to take another wife. Therefore no woman is forced to accept polygamy, however there are many, myself included, who would/do allow their husbands to have more than one wife.

There are many advantages to the women, not least of which your own duties are halved (if the two of you live in the same house and care for each others children) whilst his are doubled (he has to earn a lot more money, ensure that two of you are happy, provide for twice as many children etc)

Also all societies naturally have more women than men, in order for everyone to marry you have to have some polygamy. The exception to such societies are ones where the birth rate is artificially skewed by people aborting female foetuses because males are preferred to females. Islam forbids this in no uncertain terms, and just because its done in a hospital does not make it any better than the actions of the pagan arabs who buried their daughters, before Islam taught them that was wrong. So basically Allah prefers polygamy to infanticide of female babies. Hardly what I would consider "implying women are less than men"

Proud_2B_Muslim

23-04-06, 03:34 AM

On the other hand, most Muslimah's that I have known, or that I've encountered on forums, do not support polygamy. I've yet to be given a good answer as to why a lot of Islamic women feel they should deny their husbands (and society) of this arrangement. In a sense, the inability for Muslim women to accept polygamy does more damage to this Islamic practice, than the voiced opposition offered by non-Muslims.:confused:
Interestingly, my sister and I were discussing polygyny in Islam just last night. The fact that that some Muslimahs do not support this practice at all was the basis of our discussion.

If we Muslim women believe there is something "wrong" or "not quite right" about polygyny, then the problem lies within us and not with the practice itself. Indeed, if we harbor negative feelings and attitudes towards a convention that is very much part of the Sunnah, then we should embark on some deep soul-searching and try to align our thoughts and emotions with the ideas and concepts of Islam.

This is not to say that women must be co-wives or even that they be enthusiastic about the prospect of their husbands taking on more than one wife.

However, we should not be resentful or bitter towards this practice, either.

Brothers should also understand and realize that feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and inadequacy will most likely occur on the part of their wives and this is only natural. After all, even the wives of the Prophet :saw: would become jealous and try to side against him on occasion. So if the Mothers of the Believers (radi-Allahu Ta'ala 'anhum), who were on a higher and nobler status than ordinary Muslimahs, encountered problems related to polygyny, then brothers should certainly not expect more from their own wives.

Instead, the men should find ways to reassure their wives using wisdom and gentleness--not by belittling their feelings--and thus, find ways to deal with the additional problems. These additional problems are not some sort of "punishment" for the brothers who take on more than one wife; rather, as stated above, such problems will likely occur due to the natural and innate feelings of jealousy from the women.

So, in the end, even if some of us Muslim women do not wish to be co-wives, or some brothers do not wish to engage in polygyny, at least we should not look down upon this noble and dignified Islamic tradition, either.

Maureen

23-04-06, 03:54 AM

Shaver, I don't know why you come here asking such a stupid question.

If you have read your Bible, you will realise that polygomy is allowed.

Yet again, it is christian culture, not religion that banned polygomy.

And guess where monogomist christian ideas came from?

From pagan ROME!
Poligomy is not allowed in the Bible. Apart from the religious significance,
I have never been able to work out how a female can get intimacy (not sexual) with a male, if he has three other females on the go at the same time. Marriage is something that has to be constantly worked at on a one to one basis. I can only surmize that where there are four females in the marriage, that the contribution toward intimacy to each one from the male is shallow.

OthaEllen

23-04-06, 06:43 AM

dhakiyya

23-04-06, 04:58 PM

Poligomy is not allowed in the Bible. Apart from the religious significance,
I have never been able to work out how a female can get intimacy (not sexual) with a male, if he has three other females on the go at the same time. Marriage is something that has to be constantly worked at on a one to one basis. I can only surmize that where there are four females in the marriage, that the contribution toward intimacy to each one from the male is shallow.

That would be an assumption you have made about people you know nothing whatsoever about. In any case there are plenty of examples of people in western society who are in love with more than one person, a few (like pagans, hippies etc) have their "polyamory love nests" or whatever they want to call them, whilst many are married to one and carrying on a love affair with the other, loving his wife too much to divorce her, and loving his mistress too much to dump her. Islam allows men to be in love with more than one woman but insists absolutely that each of them has the same, legally defined and undeniable rights equitably.

Sultan is right, monogamy was a roman influence on early Christianity. There are many examples of prophets (as) in the bible having more than one wife. I lost count how many Solomon (as) had. I don't recall anything from the bible that Jesus (as) said to forbid the practice either.

However I will re-iterate the point that although many Muslim women, myself included, think polygamy is an acceptable or even a good idea, for those that really don't think they will be able to cope with their husband having another wife, they are allowed to have it written into their marriage contract that their husband is not allowed to take another wife. This is because Allah knows that although some polygamy is necessary for society, and that it is a preferable situation for some families, that for some couples it is not such a good idea. Not to mention the fact that many men will not meet the required criteria to take more than one wife (i.e. the ability to support them all financially and treat them all equally)

Maureen

24-04-06, 01:01 AM

what about abraham, sara, and hagar?
Abraham was married to Serai only. Hagar was the maid, with whom he had a son. He committed adultery yes, but not poligomy

Maureen

24-04-06, 01:14 AM

That would be an assumption you have made about people you know nothing whatsoever about. In any case there are plenty of examples of people in western society who are in love with more than one person, a few (like pagans, hippies etc) have their "polyamory love nests" or whatever they want to call them, whilst many are married to one and carrying on a love affair with the other, loving his wife too much to divorce her, and loving his mistress too much to dump her. Islam allows men to be in love with more than one woman but insists absolutely that each of them has the same, legally defined and undeniable rights equitably.

Sultan is right, monogamy was a roman influence on early Christianity. There are many examples of prophets (as) in the bible having more than one wife. I lost count how many Solomon (as) had. I don't recall anything from the bible that Jesus (as) said to forbid the practice either.

However I will re-iterate the point that although many Muslim women, myself included, think polygamy is an acceptable or even a good idea, for those that really don't think they will be able to cope with their husband having another wife, they are allowed to have it written into their marriage contract that their husband is not allowed to take another wife. This is because Allah knows that although some polygamy is necessary for society, and that it is a preferable situation for some families, that for some couples it is not such a good idea. Not to mention the fact that many men will not meet the required criteria to take more than one wife (i.e. the ability to support them all financially and treat them all equally)
I realise that hippies and similar group have these love nests, but they are not following the Christian teachings. Others choose to have so-called partners and this too is not of the Christian tradition.
I understand what you are saying about the reasons for poligomy, but it still does not answer the question about intimacy. I cannot see myself for example, being married to someone, who also is married to three others, and being able to reach a satisfying level of intimacy.
I do not actually dissaprove of females getting themselves into a poligamous relationship if their religion dictates it is alright, but I see them as disadvantaged to be in that situation.

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 01:23 AM

I realise that hippies and similar group have these love nests, but they are not following the Christian teachings. Others choose to have so-called partners and this too is not of the Christian tradition.
I understand what you are saying about the reasons for poligomy, but it still does not answer the question about intimacy. I cannot see myself for example, being married to someone, who also is married to three others, and being able to reach a satisfying level of intimacy.
I do not actually dissaprove of females getting themselves into a poligamous relationship if their religion dictates it is alright, but I see them as disadvantaged to be in that situation.

How many men actually have four wives.. :rolleyes:

Most men can't even cope with one nowadays.. :D

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 01:37 AM

How many men actually have four wives.. :rolleyes:

Most men can't even cope with one nowadays.. :D
Sudais, Shuraim, :p :p :p

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 01:47 AM

Sudais, Shuraim, :p :p :p

they have four wives??

I like shuraim mashaAllah..

Arabs are probably most prominent in keeping more then one wife..

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 01:55 AM

they have four wives??

I like shuraim mashaAllah..

Arabs are probably most prominent in keeping more then one wife.. Aye the Imaams of the holy mosques have got 4 wives MashaAllah. Arab women are used to it though..its like also cultural thing for them and its widely accepted amongst arab women for their husband to marry more than once.

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 01:58 AM

Aye the Imaams of the holy mosques got 4 wives MashaAllah. Arab women are used to it thought..its like also cultural thing for them and its widely accepted amongst arab women for their husband to marry more than once.

yeh its social norm for them..

I think women bought up in this country would probs have a much harder time dealing with it since I guess we are used to one woman for one man concept..

and then.. theres jealousy.. erm.. actually im sure arab women get jealous. :confused:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 02:00 AM

yeh its social norm for them..

I think women bought up in this country would probs have a much harder time dealing with it since I guess we are used to one woman for one man concept..

and then.. theres jealousy.. erm.. actually im sure arab women get jealous. :confused: Aye thts something which exists in Humans naturally to feel jealousy. But as u said, since its not common here its harder for muslimahs from here to accept the idea of it. But Arab women they tend to accept it cus its been running in arab culture for yonks.

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 02:08 AM

Aye thts something which exists in Humans naturally to feel jealousy. But as u said, since its not common here its harder for muslimahs from here to accept the idea of it. But Arab women they tend to accept it cus its been running in arab culture for yonks.

yeh Aisha (ra) was jealous.. which leads me to the question.. why did I ask such a stupid question in the first place..

Maybe its the time.. I think ive been dominated by a retrovirus..

Did you know you can't kill a virus because its not actually alive in the first place.

janathi

24-04-06, 02:35 AM

Sudais, Shuraim, :p :p :p

:salams

'akhi long time no see how you doing.. you havent been here for weeks have you?'

:p

:wswrwb:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 03:36 AM

:salams

'akhi long time no see how you doing.. you havent been here for weeks have you?'

:p

:wswrwb: Okie summats going on :torture::torture:

ur-yusra made tht same comment to al-irhaab on another thread...whats ur point huh kido :rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes: :p :p :p

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 03:46 AM

Okie summats going on :torture::torture:

ur-yusra made tht same comment to al-irhaab on another thread...whats ur point huh kido :rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes: :p :p :p

:eek: :eek: :rotfl: :rotfl:

that is such a coincidence..

janathi said the same thing as me.. sis we must have some sort of psychic link :p

emel i think janathi was asking you a genuine question..

answer nicely.. :torture:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 03:48 AM

:eek: :eek: :rotfl: :rotfl:

that is such a coincidence..

janathi said the same thing as me.. sis we must have some sort of psychic link :p

emel i think janathi was asking you a genuine question..

answer nicely.. :torture:
LOL :p nah man..some freaky deaky stuff going on :p :p u two said the EXACT same thing :eek: thts freaky deaky man :p :eek3:

but erm..aye sis Janathi im good wid ur duas alhamdulillah :p :p :D :D :eek3:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 03:49 AM

LOL :p nah man..some freaky deaky stuff going on :p :p u two said the EXACT same thing thts freaky deaky man :p :eek3:

but erm..aye sis Janathi im good wid ur duas alhamdulillah :p :p :D :D :eek3:

Maybe ur imagining it..:rubeyes: after all it is nearly five in the morning.. :eek:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 03:54 AM

Maybe ur imagining it..:rubeyes: after all it is nearly five in the morning.. :eek: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1077664&postcount=119 :rubeyes: :rubeyes:

:eek3: it maybe 5 but im awfully sharp :eek: :eek:

:p :p

spit it out..wat r u and janathi upto :p :eek3: :eek3:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 03:58 AM

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1077664&postcount=119 :rubeyes:

:eek3: it maybe 5 but im awfully sharp :eek: :eek:

:p :p

spit it out..wat r u and janathi upto :p :eek3:

I dnt see nothing.. :p

I think we got some jinns looming about being mischeivous.. :eek3:

yeh yeh thats the only explanation :rubeyes:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 03:59 AM

I dnt see nothing.. :p

I think we got some jinns looming about being mischeivous.. :eek3:

yeh yeh thats the only explanation :rubeyes:
U dnt see nothing?? :rubeyes: well it is 5 in the morning :p :p

Jinns..i Dun knu VuT ur In Da Bin LoOoOooOol WooOoOoOOoOoOo sTp ChtNg Vet Man WoOoOooooOooO :eek3:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:02 AM

U dnt see nothing?? well it is 5 in the morning :p :p

Jinns..i Dun knu VuT ur In Da Bin LoOoOooOol WooOoOoOOoOoOo sTp ChtNg Vet Man WoOoOooooOooO :eek3:

omg did u just get possessed by pagal laddoos kareen.. :rubeyes:

looks like ummah.com is officially infested with jinns :outta:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:06 AM

omg did u just get possessed by pagal laddoos kareen.. :rubeyes:

looks like ummah.com is officially infested with jinns :outta: WoOoOoOooO vaT tHe RaAaAaAaS jU sy boOoOt me..Erm LadoOooOs KaREn..In Da Bin WoOoOoO lOoOoOoOooOOOOoOOOL :rubeyes:

aye man..Ummah.com has officialy got Jinn users :p :p :outta: :outta:

hey i tell u bout time when we got sent Jamat to sundarban jungles in Bangladesh..only one mosque in the whole jungle and it was in middle of a graveyard :eek: :eek: :eek: and we stayed der for 3days :eek3: :eek3: :eek3: place was infested wid..............

JiIiIiIinNnNzZz wOoOoOO :eek:

:rotfl: :embar:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:09 AM

WoOoOoOooO vaT tHe RaAaAaAaS jU sy boOoOt me..Erm LadoOooOs KaREn..In Da Bin WoOoOoO lOoOoOoOooOOOOoOOOL

aye man..Ummah.com has officialy got Jinn users :p :p :outta:

hey i tell u bout time when we got sent Jamat to sundarban jungles in Bangladesh..only one mosque in the whole jungle and it was in middle of a graveyard :eek: :eek: :eek: and we stayed der for 3days :eek3: :eek3: :eek3:

noway?? did u see anything dodgy???

by the way who am I spking to? emel or pagal ladoo :rubeyes:

Sajids on Noor radio.. :outta:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:12 AM

noway?? did u see anything dodgy???

by the way who am I spking to? emel or pagal ladoo :rubeyes:

Sajids on Noor radio.. :outta:
Erm aye man saw summat VERY dodgy..m glad we got outta der nxt day LOL :eek:

Erm..this is..Ladoos KarEeEeN :eek: BOO!!! :eek3:

Saj cant b on radio :eek: right bout now hes prob got a jinn holding him down making him wet his bed :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:14 AM

Erm aye man saw summat VERY dodgy..m glad we got outta der nxt day LOL :eek:

Erm..this is..Ladoos KarEeEeN :eek: BOO!!! :eek3:

Saj cant b on radio :eek: right bout now hes prob got a jinn holding him down making him wet his bed :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

No I could swear he was on the radio just 2 mins ago..

Im scared.. :crying:

What did you see by the way :confused:

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:19 AM

No I could swear he was on the radio just 2 mins ago..

Im scared.. :crying:

What did you see by the way :confused:
only thing i heard was a possible scream by saj :eek: im sure tht Jinzz still bugging him :p

what did i see..aaah u dnt wanna kno..wallahi it was crazy..i was so glad we got outta der nxt day :eek:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:22 AM

only thing i heard was a possible scream by saj :eek: im sure tht Jinzz still bugging him :p

what did i see..aaah u dnt wanna kno..wallahi it was crazy..i was so glad we got outta der nxt day :eek:

lol.. jinzz? that sounds like part you, part pagal laddoo :rubeyes:

hmmm I was thinking about that freezing at night thing.. what if it isnt jinns and its just our brains acting dumb.. what if we're all just paranoid..

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:25 AM

lol.. jinzz? that sounds like part you, part pagal laddoo :rubeyes:

hmmm I was thinking about that freezing at night thing.. what if it isnt jinns and its just our brains acting dumb.. what if we're all just paranoid..
Maybe i am part JinNnn :rubeyes:

Maybe it is paranoia..but what i saw in bangladesh was as real as it gets..tell me..u ever seen an 8/9 foot bengali :eek: :eek:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:28 AM

Maybe i am part JinNnn :rubeyes:

Maybe it is paranoia..but what i saw in bangladesh was as real as it gets..tell me..u ever seen an 8/9 foot bengali :eek: :eek:

lol..

erm.. I dont know many bengalis but they're relatively short... :rubeyes:

You saw an elongated bengali ?

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:38 AM

lol..

erm.. I dont know many bengalis but they're relatively short... :rubeyes:

You saw an elongated bengali ?
Well thts what i was hoping it was..but nah..it was a jinn..middle of night..man i was laying bricks when i saw tht THING lool

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 04:39 AM

Well thts what i was hoping it was..but nah..it was a jinn..middle of night..man i was laying bricks when i saw tht THING lool

what did it look like ??????????????????????????

did u do a runner..

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 04:48 AM

what did it look like ??????????????????????????

did u do a runner.. Nah..well see..on tht Jamat was moi..3 other brits..a revert from Australia..and 3 local bengalis..at night time..like tht mosque was just on small place..one room..and at night time they wud make sure the...it wasnt a door but like dem bars..like in prison..one of those..locked up..no way in or out..only locals could open it..first coupla nights we thought why they doing dis..then one night..Aussie brother had habit of waking for Tahajud mashaAllah and waking us all up..so i wake up tahajud..and i see this massive fing walking past our feet..pitch black..but the face...half had no features..the other half..no skin..jus rotten flesh type..was disgusting..i went :eek: and then acted as though im still asleep...at fajr lol..i goes to Aussie how come u didnt wake us..he like man if u saw wha i saw..u wudnt have got up either..m like dude i did see it :eek: nxt day i packed bags i goes sack tht i aint spending another night here..den local told me mosque is bang middle of local graveyard :eek3:

Hayaa

24-04-06, 05:01 AM

Nah..well see..on tht Jamat was moi..3 other brits..a revert from Australia..and 3 local bengalis..at night time..like tht mosque was just on small place..one room..and at night time they wud make sure the...it wasnt a door but like dem bars..like in prison..one of those..locked up..no way in or out..only locals could open it..first coupla nights we thought why they doing dis..then one night..Aussie brother had habit of waking for Tahajud mashaAllah and waking us all up..so i wake up tahajud..and i see this massive fing walking past our feet..pitch black..but the face...half had no features..the other half..no skin..jus rotten flesh type..was disgusting..i went :eek: and then acted as though im still asleep...at fajr lol..i goes to Aussie how come u didnt wake us..he like man if u saw wha i saw..u wudnt have got up either..m like dude i did see it :eek: nxt day i packed bags i goes sack tht i aint spending another night here..den local told me mosque is bang middle of local graveyard :eek3::rubeyes: graveyard ?? thats scary... :l

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 05:34 AM

:rubeyes: graveyard ?? thats scary... :l
Well its not like the graveyards here..like tombstones and so on..nope..saw few dug up places but we thought just prob some construction work might be starting ya kno :rubeyes:

ur_yusra

24-04-06, 12:34 PM

Emelianenko

24-04-06, 03:41 PM

thats scary... :S:S.. wonder what it was...
Well, like i said..their was no way in or out of tht place until a local didnt come at fajr and unlock the place..Jinn encounters are not rare at all in bangladesh.

janathi

24-04-06, 04:29 PM

:salams

:rotfl:

but erm..aye sis Janathi im good wid ur duas alhamdulillah :p :p :D :D :eek3:

:p ..Masha'Allah Akhi! May Allah(swt) indeed always bless you all with the best of health Ameen! :inlove: :p

:wswrwb:

ur_yusra

25-04-06, 04:00 AM

Well, like i said..their was no way in or out of tht place until a local didnt come at fajr and unlock the place..Jinn encounters are not rare at all in bangladesh.

hmmm why do they have such disgusting looking jinns walkin around in a graveyard then..??

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 04:20 AM

ur_yusra

25-04-06, 04:32 AM

lol like i said Jinn encouters r very common in bangladesh :p the fact tht we was in jungle kinda environment ie sundarban and in middle of graveyard, i wasnt to surprised AFTERWARDS at what we had seen.

ok.. :p

no jinn infestations today..

Im sleepy.. :rubeyes:

My aunty saw a jinn in india apparently.. she fainted..

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 04:37 AM

ok.. :p

no jinn infestations today..

Im sleepy.. :rubeyes:

My aunty saw a jinn in india apparently.. she fainted.. lol how come u aint asleep? :p

Oh man..im giving my first Gusl to a dead body today ia :eek3:

ur_yusra

25-04-06, 04:40 AM

lol how come u aint asleep? :p

Oh man..im giving my first Gusl to a dead body today ia :eek3:

lol.. that should be hmmm.. interesting.. reminder of death I guess..

Im not asleep because Im revising turberculosis :torture:

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 04:42 AM

lol.. that should be hmmm.. interesting.. reminder of death I guess..

Im not asleep because Im revising turberculosis :torture:
Aye was death in family yesterday. So i wanna learn how to give Gusl so m gonna hop along inshaAllah.

LOL..when r exams?? InshaAllah Allah make all u students successfull in ur studies :p ameen

ur_yusra

25-04-06, 04:45 AM

Aye was death in family yesterday. So i wanna learn how to give Gusl so m gonna hop along inshaAllah.

LOL..when r exams?? InshaAllah Allah make all u students successfull in ur studies :p ameen

what exams :confused:

I only revise for the fun of it.. :rubeyes:

ameen to the duah..

sidenote: Exams are in two weeks.. :crying:

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 04:47 AM

what exams :confused:

I only revise for the fun of it.. :rubeyes:

ameen to the duah..

sidenote: Exams are in two weeks.. :crying:
LOL! aaaaaah u poor students :p

I remember when i had my last exam and i threw all me notes away :D :D

den i got called in for a VIVA and cudnt find em again :eek3:

ur_yusra

25-04-06, 04:52 AM

LOL! aaaaaah u poor students :p

I remember when i had my last exam and i threw all me notes away :D :D

den i got called in for a VIVA and cudnt find em again

doOoo u lak slp lak? :eek3:

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 04:56 AM

doOoo u lak slp lak? :eek3:
omg :rubeyes: Ladoos Kareens possessed you today :eek3:

aye i do sleep lak :p but got lot of stuff to sort out in bit..for todays funeral..if i go sleep now i KNOW i wont wake up till bout 5pm :eek3:

Te'oma

25-04-06, 06:14 AM

hmmmm define irony...a thread about multiple wives spinning off to jinns...connection...you never know :D

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 06:25 AM

hmmmm define irony...a thread about multiple wives spinning off to jinns...connection...you never know :D
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Dude brace urself for some retaliation from the Jin...Sorry Sisters :p :D :D :D :p

Te'oma

25-04-06, 06:56 AM

Hey bro...no worries...I have raised 4 daughters and a lived most of my life with my wife...I have the reflexes of a cat and can duck and weave better then mohammed ali :D

*runs off to hide in the bro's forum :D*

Emelianenko

25-04-06, 07:07 AM

umm umayr

25-04-06, 03:45 PM

Te'oma

26-04-06, 07:56 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl:

*pokes his head out...* is it safe yet :p

umm umayr, your point is 100% spot on

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 08:44 PM

*pokes his head out...* is it safe yet :p

umm umayr, your point is 100% spot on
LOOOOL..nah dude its never safe wid dese women about :p :rotfl:

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 08:46 PM

LOOOOL..nah dude its never safe wid dese women about :p :rotfl:

.... :rolleyes:

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 08:47 PM

.... :rolleyes:
..... :embar:

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 08:49 PM

..... :embar:

lol.. you brothers make me laugh.. :rolleyes: .. :p

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 08:53 PM

lol.. you brothers make me laugh.. :rolleyes: .. :p
lool..the feelings mutual :p u sis's r trouble makers :p just look at ur "hit the wife" thread :p LOL

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 08:55 PM

lool..the feelings mutual :p u sis's r trouble makers :p just look at ur "hit the wife" thread :p LOL

I know I kinda regret making that thread.. :nervous:

It wasnt supposed to turn awry..

But hey if you look carefully u'l find its the brothers who are failing to have a 'peace'ful debate :p

aamilah

26-04-06, 08:55 PM

asalams
i would just like to say one thing regarding this thread to 'shaver'

muslim women find it much better of their husbands to marry again and faithfully let their wives know

we are not like you DISBELIEVERS who marry and then sneakly gos out with numerous girls-like a playboy

you disbelievers perv, rape, use women like objects without to give them respect and make your relationship lawful-because whilst doing so you disrespect ur wife!!!

whilst muslim men, when are married and plan to marry again with a pure contract!!...they do so with izza, without deceiving their wives!!!

:up: MashaAllaah sis, well said.

Its a huge test of imaan for sisters and Im sure i red a hadith which outlined that the acceptance of Jihad of the battlefield for a man is his test of Imaan and for a woman, her test of Imaan is her acceptance of being a co-wife. Correct me if Im wrong inshaAllaah...

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 08:58 PM

I know I kinda regret making that thread.. :nervous:

It wasnt supposed to turn awry..

But hey if you look carefully u'l find its the brothers who are failing to have a 'peace'ful debate :p
LOL..u started the thread and bogged off :p as usual..sis's instigating battles and then bogging off :p tut tut go sit in the corner now :p

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 09:04 PM

LOL..u started the thread and bogged off :p as usual..sis's instigating battles and then bogging off :p tut tut go sit in the corner now :p

:shock: ... NO!! I was actually interested in the topic.. but then BROTHERS started going off on a tangent so I lost interest.. the debate was supposed to be about when disciplining becomes necessary not whether the rulings in the Qur'aan still hold validity (nauthobillah)..

You know I even considered asking for it to be closed.. :torture:

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 09:08 PM

:shock: ... NO!! I was actually interested in the topic.. but then BROTHERS started going off on a tangent so I lost interest.. the debate was supposed to be about when disciplining becomes necessary not whether the rulings in the Qur'aan still hold validity (nauthobillah)..

You know I even considered asking for it to be closed.. :torture:
LOL!!!! ur fault still :p Nah i think cus "hit/tap" is the closest word one can use in the anglais language to describe tht verse in the Quran some ppl are taking it way out of context and going off on a tangent :rolleyes: still..u instigated it and advise u strongly to put a request in to have it closed u wee war monger :p :p

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 09:12 PM

LOL!!!! ur fault still :p Nah i think cus "hit/tap" is the closest word one can use in the anglais language to describe tht verse in the Quran some ppl are taking it way out of context and going off on a tangent :rolleyes: still..u instigated it and advise u strongly to put a request in to have it closed u wee war monger :p :p

Well if it couldnt get any worse..

they're doing a whole show about it on the radio now..

:rotfl:

Emelianenko

26-04-06, 09:22 PM

Well if it couldnt get any worse..

they're doing a whole show about it on the radio now..

:rotfl:
LOL!!!!!! ur joking me aye????? :eek3:

ur_yusra

26-04-06, 09:25 PM

LOL!!!!!! ur joking me aye????? :eek3:

No.. :rolleyes:

Its finished now

NOT Zarqawi

26-04-06, 09:35 PM

we are not like you DISBELIEVERS who marry and then sneakly gos out with numerous girls-like a playboy

you disbelievers perv, rape, use women like objects without to give them respect and make your relationship lawful-because whilst doing so you disrespect ur wife!!!

LOL

what the %!#$b are you talking about man

sure some people do those kinds of things but I wouldn't say it's only the "disbelievers"

Karaite777

10-12-06, 10:15 PM

Sultan- no where in the bible is polygamy allowed. The monogamy idea comes from Genesis, before the fall of Adam.

Adam and Eve become one flesh.

Hence monogamy. It is not a stupid question. I am seriously interested in how women in Islam view what, is to me, a very sexist law allowing sex crazed men to justify their lustful urges.

Sultan- how many wives do you have?

Yours,
Shaver

Shaver,

You are incorrect, for in Sefer HaTorah (Book of the Torah; i.e., the Five Books of Moses), among the miswoth (commandments) that YHWH gave unto the children of Yisra'el (Israel), provisions were made for a man with more than one wife, which were that he was not allowed to neglect his other wives - emotionally, financially, or sexually.

These are the instructions of YHWH, the deity of Avraham, the deity of Yitskhaq, the deity of Ya'aqov, and Sefer HaTorah makes it clear that if anyone diminishes from them that he is cursed by YHWH, or if he adds to them that he is cursed by YHWH.

Thus, for you to state that polygny is not found in the Bible is wrong, because if Sefer HaTorah makes provision for such, and the Tanakh (Old Testament) in itself shows several locations where men had more than one wife, by you stating that polygny was not in the Tanakh you are diminishing from the Torah.

Next, although I do not accept the New Testament, for I do feel that it does add to, and diminish from the commandments found in Sefer HaTorah on many occasions, the discourse from Paul about having one wife was not against polygny, but was a discourse that people in positions of ministers should not have more than one wife, much like that of the Kohen Haggadhol (High Priest) of the children of Yisra'el who was the only person not allowed to practice polygny amont the children of Yisra'el. But Paul makes it clear that this is merely his opinion, and not the word of YHWH which the Torah is, because he understood that if he would have declared it to be the word of YHWH then he would have been cursed.

Next, as to women not being equal to men is not the case, and merely because such would be the case in your culture does not make it so in another culture. You are do something that is somewhat detestable, which is egocentrism, believing your culture, and the values, views, and understandings of things to be the only correct way to understand things, and applying them to other people's understanding, and thus cursing them based on such, or understanding their culture based on such.

I am Qara'i Yuhudhi (Karaite Jewish), and thus a Jew, and I have to state that Muslims are closer to us than Christians are; however, like unto Christians we accept not there revelations, not out of hatred, but out of the fact that as I mentioned, if something adds to, or diminishes from the miswoth (commandments) then it is considered cursed to us, and the Qur'an does such. This does not mean that I hate Muslims, because I do not, but rather that while they accept the Qur'an as their revelation, I cannot accept it for anything more than Arabic literature.

Still though Islam is closer to Judaism than Christianity is to Judaism.

Yohanan bin-Dawidh HaQara'i