Islamic Wedding Party?

[PeaceCharity]

Question:
I am a new muslim and my parents are chirstian, they agree to take part in an Islamic wedding but what are the steps we need to go about it? They are having it at their house and agreed to the food and beverage requirements for the party following the ceremony. We are trying to have it so that everyone is comfortable. But I have no idea what to do before, during or after and want to make sure everything is in place so that later I don't have to find out that it is void becaue of a step not taken. I thought we were already married but I found out that we did not do it right. I need to know.


Answer:
Praise be to Allah.



With regard to having a wedding party in the Islamic manner, you have to keep away from the things which are forbidden in sharee'ah but which many people do not pay attention to during celebrations, such as the following:


With regard to the woman: going to a male, non-mahram hairdresser to have her hair done; or adorning herself in ways that are haraam, such as thinning the eyebrows by plucking them, or wearing tattoos, or wearing hair extensions, or other kinds of haraam things, becaue the Prophet -sallallahu 'alayhi wasalam- cursed the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has that done, the one who adds hair extensions and the one who asks to have that done; imitating the kuffaar in their dress, because usually the wedding dress shows many of the woman's charms and her body, in such a way that the dress is very revealing -we seek refuge with Allah- and also a great deal of money is wasted on the dress.


Among the haraam actions that have to do with the man are: shaving his beard for the wedding night, which is done on the grounds that this makes him look more handsome, but this is something which is haraam according to the sharee'ah; letting one's clothes hang below the ankle (isbaal).


There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party:


1. Mixing of men and women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter.


2. Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves.


3. Drinking alcohol or eating pork.


4. Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife.


5. Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam - so how about wearing such things in front of men?


6. People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing.


7. The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband's love for his wife and vice versa.


Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed the marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems.

[EVILution]

Aslaam u Alaikum sister,
As you mentioned about the handshake between people of opposite sexes, well I always get offered hands for a handshake from my muslim cousins, but what do I do I can't say "no" because I don't want to embarrass them but I also know it's forbidden.

[Outcider]

Muslim youth, very interesting to learn that handsakes are actually forbidden. I sensed something like this once in Lebanon, but I didn't really know. Thanks again.

But did you know why people shake hands? Well, in the Middle Ages men usually carried a sword in their right hand. Shaking a hand with the right hand reveals that the man has no sword in that hand and therefore he cannot be an enemy.

[AnnaMarie]

I am confused here.It is a sin to pluck your eyebrows??!!!!!!why exactly?

[Ebony]

coz during the Prophets time the prostitutes used 2 pluck their eyebrows.
i had heard that it was ok 2 tidy them up..but if ur shaping them then thts not permissble.

correct me if i'm wrong :)
ws

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Ebony it is true what you have written, I had not heard that exact reason but it is interesting to know. I could not find an exact Hadith which validated your statement but I think this one is applicable.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 832:

Narrated 'Abdullah :

Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get it done for themselves, and those who remove hair from their faces, and those who artificially create spaces between their teeth to look beautiful, such women as alter the features created by Allah. Why should I not then curse those whom Allah's Apostle has cursed and that is in Allah's Book?

[AnnaMarie]

Ok OK I have more questions here.I personally don't change the shape of my eyebrows but I use those little wz strips to get rid of some of the stay hairs.Would that be considered bad.And also I got braces put on my teeth a few years ago becasue I had teeth that were stuck and weren't coming in.Would that be considered bad as well?

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Anne Marie, the fundamental question you have to ask yourself is:

What you do in relation to changing your physical appearance, what is the real intention behind it? If you are you trying to beautify yourself, then it is wrong. If it is not e.g. if it is due to some health or hygiene reason then that is fine.

Removing some of your eyebrows I think you'll find comes under beautifying oneself therefore it is wrong.

As for the braces you had them so that your teeth come out properly, that is not related to beautifying yourself so that is fine.

What you should remember is that Allah created you and you should therefore be pleased with his creation not try to change it. I do understand due to the corrupt society we live in there are pressures on us all to change our appearance to look in a certain way. We must withstand this pressure and live according to the will of Allah and our goal should be to please him rather than his creation.

Inshallah this answers your question

[AnnaMarie]

thanks for the answers Bash!

[EVILution]

Aslaam u Alaikum brother,

But what if you try to beautify yourself just cos you feel good, not to show-off or something or because you want to change the way Allah(swt) created you.

Waslaam.

[AnnaMarie]

what about shaving arm pits and legs?!!I am sorry but I will never stop shaving my arm pits!I don't think people would be happy if I started to smell!!!And I could never have hairy legs.

[PeaceCharity]

Originally posted by AnnaMarie
what about shaving arm pits and legs?!!I am sorry but I will never stop shaving my arm pits!I don't think people would be happy if I started to smell!!!And I could never have hairy legs.

We shouldn't make things too difficult. The hadeeth mentions the hair on the face only, so based on this hadeeth removing any other hair would be okay.
Anyway, I believe there is another hadeeth which says you should remove the hair under the arm (arm pits)... and so on...
Can anyone quote this hadeeth?
-Charity

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Muslim youth, but you should be happy with the way you look anyway. However I have read Hadiths that say you should beautify yourself for your husband.

Anne Marie, shaving of the armpits is one of the acts of cleanliness, which is an obligation on every Muslim (it should be done at least once every forty days).

As for shaving your legs there is no evidence that prohibits it or sanctions it. However I am not able to tell you whether it is allowed because:

Having read upon haram and halal I have found that there seems to be a contradiction or a misunderstanding on my part.

I have read that:

1) Everything is halal for you except that which there is clear prohibition. Therefore you have halal and haram.

2) There is a grey area between halal and haram, which is classed, as doubtful and it is best to stay away from it, as it may be haram.

So basically shaving of the legs could fall in to either category. Sorry!

Peace Charity,

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 779:

Narrated Abu Huraira : I heard the Prophet saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits."

Sahih Muslim, Book 002, Number 0497:

Anas reported: A time limit has been prescribed for us for clipping the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, that it should not be neglected far more than forty nights.

[PeaceCharity]

Jazakum Allah Khair.

Originally posted by Bash ah Rat
Assalamu alaikum

Peace Charity,

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 779:

Narrated Abu Huraira : I heard the Prophet saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits."

Sahih Muslim, Book 002, Number 0497:

Anas reported: A time limit has been prescribed for us for clipping the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, that it should not be neglected far more than forty nights.

[Ebony]

but isnt it permissble 2 remove facial hair if it causes u 2 resemble a man? like..upper lip..or..a beard forming perhaps..? i thought it was.


Bash..not evry1 is happy with their looks..and mayb they shud try2 b happy with themselves first..b4 trying2 look beautiful for their husbands.. for the sisters who arent married, tht is.
i;m not saying..flaunt urselves to evry and any passing member of the opp. sex..just tht mayb u want 2 look 'beautiful' 4 urself 1st..after all if u r happy with the WAY u look..then tht affects ur mental state 2. which is the reasn, perhaps, y some sisters wear make-up...though they dnt need it..it gives their self-confidence a little 'boost'

meaning...plastic surgery just 2 change the way u look..coz u dnt like it, when theyre no underlying medical reason 4 it...shud b avoided.

feel free 2 correct me if i'm wrong (i aint perfect..yes its true ;) ) :)

w/salaam

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Ebony, it is not permissable for women to shave any facial hair even if it grows to an extent that it is noticeable. This is made clear in Hadiths.

As for your explanation why sisters beautfy themselves your reasons may well be true but it is still wrong.

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Re: the earlier posts on shaving the legs.

Having clarified the issue I raised before on the definition of the haram and halal. I now believe that the isssue of shaving the legs is doubtful as there is no explicit evidence on it.

Islam asks you to keep away from the doubtful things as they may be haram.

[PeaceCharity]

Originally posted by Bash ah Rat
Assalamu alaikum

Re: the earlier posts on shaving the legs.

Having clarified the issue I raised before on the definition of the haram and halal. I now believe that the isssue of shaving the legs is doubtful as there is no explicit evidence on it.

Islam asks you to keep away from the doubtful things as they may be haram.

Question:


I would like to know what the ruling is concerning Muslim women shaving their legs. The legs are not one of the areas mentioned in the hadeeth about things which are consistent with the fitrah. Does this mean that it is haram for women to shave them? Maybe it would also be haram as an imitation of the kuffar. However, a woman may want to do it in order to please her husband. What do the scholars say about this issue?

Answer:

Praise be to Allah.

I have already answered this question: please see the responses to questions nos. 451 and 742. In summary, it is permitted to remove the hair of the legs. Islamic schools of thought say that a woman may remove all her body hair, such as that on the arms or legs, if removing it will increase her beauty, but she must leave whatever makes her beautiful, so she is forbidden to shave the hair on her head. (al-Mawsu‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 18/100).

The woman is also forbidden to remove the hair on her face, especially plucking the eyebrows, because the promised punishment for doing that is clearly stated. For more details of the guidelines on women’s beautification, see question# 261.




Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

[Ebony]

right...ok

So women r not suposed2 shave their legs.. wat about waxing? not only the legs but arms 2..? i'm just letting u know of some of the practices sisters do..not being fully aware whether thyre haram or not.

ws

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Jazakallah Peace Charity for your post.

However I think you should be aware of a few evidences:

In Islam every action you do must be based on evidence, now if an issue has no evidence it is doubtful. It is best to stay away from doubtful things as they maybe haram.

So again as the link you have provided stated there is no evidence to this issue and therefore you should refrain from of it.

A word of caution should be used in relation to these on-line Imams, what I have written seems to me pretty fundamental in Islam (the definition of Haram and Halal) and if an Imam does not know this (as other wise he would not have written what he has). Then you should be wary.

A more important and general point you should be aware of is:

- Whenever you read something make sure it is backed up by clear evidence, (Quran, Sunnah (Hadiths), Ijma Sahaba and Anology). This particular answer the Imam gave was backed with no evidence.

So Ebony and Peace Charity I hope I have clarified your question, that I believe it is doubtful and you should refrain from it.

[Ebony]

Taken frm www.ask-imam.com

Is it permissible for a wife to remove her facial hair?

Please can you tell me if it is possible for a wife to remove her facial hair in order to appear more feminine and attractive / pleasant for her husband? Especially if she fears looking like a man. I only refer to the facial hair not thet of eyebrows obviously. Also is it possible to remove this hair permanently or would this be considered alteration. May Allah reward you.

It is permissible for a female to remove the facial hair besides her eyebrows.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

**************************************************

[PeaceCharity]

Originally posted by Bash ah Rat
Assalamu alaikum

Jazakallah Peace Charity for your post.

However I think you should be aware of a few evidences:

In Islam every action you do must be based on evidence, now if an issue has no evidence it is doubtful. It is best to stay away from doubtful things as they maybe haram.

So again as the link you have provided stated there is no evidence to this issue and therefore you should refrain from of it.

A word of caution should be used in relation to these on-line Imams, what I have written seems to me pretty fundamental in Islam (the definition of Haram and Halal) and if an Imam does not know this (as other wise he would not have written what he has). Then you should be wary.

A more important and general point you should be aware of is:

- Whenever you read something make sure it is backed up by clear evidence, (Quran, Sunnah (Hadiths), Ijma Sahaba and Anology). This particular answer the Imam gave was backed with no evidence.

So Ebony and Peace Charity I hope I have clarified your question, that I believe it is doubtful and you should refrain from it.


Jazakum Allah Khair brother,
However, as you before stated "Everything is halal for you except that which there is clear prohibition".

As for the evidence, Shaykh al-Munajid stated:
"Islamic schools of thought say that a woman may remove all her body hair, such as that on the arms or legs, if removing it will increase her beauty, but she must leave whatever makes her beautiful, so she is forbidden to shave the hair on her head." He took this from (al-Mawsu‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 18/100).
In another question he states:
In Islamic shari’ah, hair is divided into 3 types:

First: Hair that has been ordered to remain, such as man’s beard.

Second: Hair that has been ordered to be removed, such as pubic hair, the hair of the armpits, and the extension of the mustache if it reached the lips.

Third: Hair about which we are told nothing, such as hair of hands, legs, chest, and back; this hair is permissible to be removed and Allah is the most Knowledgeable.

Shaykh Al-Munajid is not only an 'on-line imam', but a reputable imam and shaykh in the Eastern Province of the Arabian Peninsula, who has authored many good Islamic books.

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

Again where is the evidence? you cannot undertake an action unless there is evidence for it.

[jamila]

Originally posted by Bash ah Rat
Assalamu alaikum

Again where is the evidence? you cannot undertake an action unless there is evidence for it.
From Islamic Fatwa Concerning Women
approved by The Senior Scholars Committee of Saudi Arabia
300. What is the ruling concerning the following:
a. Removing pubic and underarm hairs for women
b. Removing leg and arm hairs for a woman
c. Removing eyebrows at the request of her husband.

1. Removing pubic and underarm hair is a SUNNAH. It is best to pluck the underarm hairs and shave the pubic hairs. There is no harm if they are removed by other means.
2. There is no harm in removing leg and arm hairs. I have seen no harm in that.
3. Removing eyebrow hairs at the request of a husband is not allowed. Allah's Messenger (sawa) cursed the one who has it done and who does the removing. This is in reference to anyone who has eyebrow hairs removed.
Sheikh Bin Baz
Grande Mufti of Saudi Arabia (deceased)

319.
Is it allowed for a woman to remove or lighten the hairs of her eyebrows if they appear in a disfigured manner?

This question has two aspects to it. The first is if that is done by plucking out those hairs. that is forbidden. Indeed, it is a great sin. It is an act whose performer the Prophet, sawa, cursed. Second is to have the hair trimmed or clipped. On this there is a difference of opinion among scholars. Is this also a kind of removing the eyebrows or not? It is best to avoid the act and for a woman not to do it.
As for the hair that is uncommon or unusual, such as what grows on part of the face where women usually do not have hair growth, as in having a mustache or cheek hair growth, there is no harm in removing that kind of hair. This is because it goes against what is normal, and is a kind of disfigurement for the woman.
As for the eyebrows, it is normal for them to be either very thin or very thick and wide. Both of these are normal. If something is normal, it should not be opposed, because the people will bot percieve it as a blemish. In fact they might consider its thiness or its thickness as a thing of beauty. Therefore it is not a type of blemish that calls for removal.
Shayk Muhammad ibn Uthaymeen
Deceased

I have two or three more fatawa in similar vein from the same muss-haff.

I suggest that you don't search around for the details of what is 'between' halal and haram. If it is something of normal bodily charachteristics, don't change it (unless specifically ordered to by the prophet, such as removal of pubic and underarm hair). If it is abnormal, there is no harm in 'normalizing' whatever the problem is. And don't judge a problem by by its effect on your opinion of beauty, but by its biological naturalness.
Jamila

[Khawlah]

salaam alaikum,

Can I just stress the importance of pleasing Allah in EVERYTHING. We might not like the idea of not plucking our eyebrows but we must follow what was revealed and please Allah wholeheartedly NOT our desires. We simply cannot pick and choose what suits us or search for a fatwa which meets our desires!

[jamila]

Salam alaykum, Khawla,
Yes. I agree.
I suggest reading all the fatwa together above (not opinions of the contributers) and you'll find they are basically in agreement, with only minor differences. Then decide what is right, not what you would like.
jamila

[Outcider]

The detailed instructions in Jamila's post concerning hairs here there and everywhere were quite hilarious to a male and a non-Muslim. I should not really comment, because they have no relevance to me, but I just want to bring up one point.

In all religions there are little things which may be funny in some other people's minds. This is one such thing and reading about the reasons for it makes me understand the Islamic religion better. Thanks, Jamila.

[Bash ah Rat]

Assalamu alaikum

You make a very good point.

What ever evidences I say, or give one should question them and ask people of knowledge. I have limited knowledge and only write about what I have read, by no means should anyone carry out an action based on what I have said on its own.

The purpose of me writing is to invoke thought and raise questions which one should ask and find out about.

As to on-line imams I am not a fan of them, the reason fro this is that many of them do not provide evidence. Also you do not know there backgrounds and if they are mustajhids to make these hukms.

As to removing the hair I still not have seen superior enough evidence to contradict the fact that it is not permissable.

[ummbilal]

bumpity bump

i feel wedding plans coming on....

[muslim_sis]

bumpity bump

i feel wedding plans coming on....
so u have been diggin then lol :rolleyes:
mashallah ...

[ummbilal]

i didnt realise the forum was this old lol and look theres ebony^^

[Ebony]

i didnt realise the forum was this old lol and look theres ebony^^

Im as old as the forum :p Well since it changed names...used to be called something else.

Sad isnt it? :rotfl: