View Full Version : Would you marry...
susu12092
12-06-08, 03:40 PM
Would you marry a divorced man with a 9 month old baby???
Why?/Why not?
Are you seriously making another one of these threads? Please tell me it has some personal significance to you. I don't mean to sound rude but the forum has been bombarded with threads such as these and it's getting a little tedious.
susu12092
12-06-08, 04:24 PM
Are you seriously making another one of these threads? Please tell me it has some personal significance to you. I don't mean to sound rude but the forum has been bombarded with threads such as these and it's getting a little tedious.
Well..apparently I wasnt aware of that. But it WOULD be nice if you could tell me where I could find the other similar threads.
Would you marry
... a scholar? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171066&highlight=marry)
... a divorcee? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156498&highlight=marry)
... a mujahid? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144550&highlight=marry)
... a christian or a jew? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127360&highlight=marry)
... ur cousin (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108571&highlight=marry)
... a shi'a guy or girl? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168963&highlight=marry)
... you? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=102907&highlight=marry) :eek3:
... a niqaabi? (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172259&highlight=marry)
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173163
susu12092
12-06-08, 04:46 PM
Would you marry
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173163
Im sorry but that has nothing to do with the question I asked.
Abu Mus'ab
12-06-08, 04:52 PM
I wouldn't marry a man.
MrOnline
12-06-08, 05:08 PM
I wouldn't marry a man.
Neither would i. :rolleyes:
...But if i was a woman, then naaaahh i wouldn't. :o
susu12092
12-06-08, 05:11 PM
Neither would i. :rolleyes:
...But if i was a woman, then naaaahh i wouldn't. :o
Y NOT?
MrOnline
12-06-08, 05:20 PM
Y NOT?
[[[Let's pretend i'm a woman called Amina, lulz]]]
"I'm not married, although i do hope to get married in the future. I'd like my partner to boast a clean slate, just like moi. In that i don't want a guy who's been married before and had kids. It just wouldn't be the same. However, if i was a divorced woman then then yes, of course, i'd definitely marry that guy with the 9 month old baby."
Are you seriously making another one of these threads? Please tell me it has some personal significance to you. I don't mean to sound rude but the forum has been bombarded with threads such as these and it's getting a little tedious.
Leave the sister alone...If she wants to put a thread up about this then let her...Why dont you just not say anything and move onto the next thread??
And no I would not marry a bloke lol
Oppressed
12-06-08, 06:05 PM
Depends if he'd keep me happy..and is goodlooking :o with 6pack abs.. and broad defined shoulders with an awesome physique. and loves to use GHDs :o
Depends, is the 9 months mother dead or living with her? :rolleyes:
Abu Mus'ab
12-06-08, 06:43 PM
Depends if he'd keep me happy..and is goodlooking :o with 6pack abs.. and broad defined shoulders with an awesome physique. and loves to use GHDs :o
let me guess, hassnetwork?
Depends if he'd keep me happy..and is goodlooking :o with 6pack abs.. and broad defined shoulders with an awesome physique. and loves to use GHDs :o
By any chance is this guy gay?
9 month old is pushing it. hmmmm possibly 6 months
Abu Mus'ab
12-06-08, 06:45 PM
Would you marry a divorced man with a 9 month old baby???
Why?/Why not?
This is actually a good thread you brought up, there's a thread asking if men would marry a woman with children, but i dont remember seeing a thread asking if a woman would marry a man with children, so i want to see the (honest) outcome of this thread it's just a shame you didn't add a poll as well.
This is actually a good thread you brought up, there's a thread asking if men would marry a woman with children, but i dont remember seeing a thread asking if a woman would marry a man with children, so i want to see the (honest) outcome of this thread it's just a shame you didn't add a poll as well.
I think your going to have to wait a longgg time :D
Abu Mus'ab
12-06-08, 06:57 PM
By any chance is this guy gay?
I guess anyone would think that from reading that post :rotfl:
The sad part is that he wasn't joking :|
Pippin1376
12-06-08, 07:01 PM
Would you marry a divorced man with a 9 month old baby???
Why?/Why not?
If he's a good man, then of course I would. I don't really see the problem of having a kid involved.
poppy22
12-06-08, 07:36 PM
No.
This is because i am too selfish to look after a child at this time. Maybe in the future.
Cartman
12-06-08, 07:37 PM
please quit...
This Threads Suck
/thread
Ibrahim70
12-06-08, 07:43 PM
Would you marry a divorced man with a 9 month old baby???
Why?/Why not?
no.
Why?
Cause i aint batty :up:
Al-Farooq
12-06-08, 08:47 PM
please quit...
This Threads Suck
/thread
What was the point in that reply?....if you don't like the thread, don't reply...it really is THAT simple.
How would you like it if people responded to your threads in this manner?
Back on topic...
If I may change it to a divorced sister, to make it relevant to me, it's something I would seriously consider, mainly because of the fact there is a child who needs a father involved.
Divorced sisters/brothers with children should really be at the head of the queue when it comes to choosing a partner (provided one is mature enough to deal with the responsibility), but in fact the opposite seems to be true - they are very much seen by many as "a last resort" which is an utterly despicable attitude. But it's an attitude that is unlikely to change any time soon, as we seem to be slowly sinking deeper into a cultural quagmire where social stigmas and fear of gossip seems to be given more consideration than the examples of Rasoolullah (salAllahu alayhe wa salaam) and the pious predecessors (radhiyAllahu anhum).
Ibrahim70
12-06-08, 08:49 PM
If I may change it to a divorced sister, to make it relevant to me, it's something I would seriously consider, mainly because of the fact there is a child who needs a father involved.
Divorced sisters/brothers with children should really be at the head of the queue when it comes to choosing a partner (provided one is mature enough to deal with the responsibility), but in fact the opposite seems to be true - they are very much seen by many as "a last resort" which is an utterly despicable attitude. But it's an attitude that is unlikely to change any time soon, as we seem to be slowly sinking deeper into a cultural quagmire where social stigmas and fear of gossip seems to be given more consideration than the examples of Rasoolullah (salAllahu alayhe wa salaam) and the pious predecessors (radhiyAllahu anhum).
A divorced Sister with a 9 month old baby?
Mmmmmmmmmmm yes I would if me and the Sister 'clicked'.
As you say Bro...............every child needs a Father in their lives.
susu12092
12-06-08, 08:50 PM
Depends, is the 9 months mother dead or living with her? :rolleyes:
She's not dead.
susu12092
12-06-08, 08:51 PM
This is actually a good thread you brought up, there's a thread asking if men would marry a woman with children, but i dont remember seeing a thread asking if a woman would marry a man with children, so i want to see the (honest) outcome of this thread it's just a shame you didn't add a poll as well.
thats a good idea.
I think I'll do that:up:
susu12092
12-06-08, 08:55 PM
I thought I might add something...idk it may be kinda selfish, but I wouldnt want my husband to have any 'connection' with any other woman, even if it is his childs mother.
Abu Mus'ab
12-06-08, 09:14 PM
no.
Why?
Cause i aint batty :up:
That joke is already used up, you lot are going to get this thread locked then i won't even be able to gather data anymore :torture:
turquoise
12-06-08, 09:21 PM
Salaam,
No, because I don't like kids. Also, assuming he's a decent parent, he'll love the kid more than he loves me, and that would be too uneven for me. If I had kids from a previous relationship, or planned/wanted them in the near future, then that would probably be different.
Asaalam,
Why not, there must be sisters willing to marry the brother, and the little girl needs a mother too.
Jazakallah
ButterflyRei
13-06-08, 05:05 AM
I would. I am divorced with kids myself and I would prefer to marry a man that has been married before and has kids. We would be on the same wave length and would have matching baggage!
Plus, I love babies! And I get another without accually being pregnant? Count me in!
Stylish-Girly
13-06-08, 02:06 PM
Alot of work there isnt it, you wont get time to chill with your husbind coz you'll be too caught up in looking after a baby, 9 months is way too young.. Think about sleepless nights :rubeyes: i couldnt be dealing wi that!
work shy gypsy, or just gypsy :rolleyes:
Stylish-Girly
13-06-08, 02:28 PM
work shy gypsy, or just gypsy :rolleyes:
Whats that? :rubeyes:
Whats that? :rubeyes:
:rubeyes: you're missing out! never heard of a gypsy? how about travellers? or Roma...no?
Stylish-Girly
13-06-08, 02:37 PM
:rubeyes: you're missing out! never heard of a gypsy? how about travellers? or Roma...no?
Oh i really am aint i, of course i know gypsy just dont know work shy gypsy :buttkick: its probably the ones who dont work blah
Err wouldnt the mother have custody of the baby if its 9months old :eek3:
Stylish-Girly
13-06-08, 02:38 PM
Err wouldnt the mother have custody of the baby if its 9months old :eek3:
Just say she abandoned it
Oh i really am aint i, of course i know gypsy just dont know work shy gypsy :buttkick: its probably the ones who dont work blah
:p
none of them work, bit like you shying from looking after a 9 month baby :torture:
susu12092
13-06-08, 04:00 PM
Err wouldnt the mother have custody of the baby if its 9months old :eek3:
exactly thats what im thinking, and the mother would kinda be an interference with you relationship. right?
imported_MMS
13-06-08, 04:15 PM
depends how cute the child is
Would you marry a divorced man with a 9 month old baby???
Why?/Why not?
yes because the child needs a mother, (i presume something happened to the mother ie: shes insane/ passed away or she would be with her child)
susu12092
13-06-08, 04:25 PM
yes because the child needs a mother, (i presume something happened to the mother ie: shes insane/ passed away or she would be with her child)
no she has custody of the child. And the father does too.
Thats the problem.
no she has custody of the child. And the father does too.
Thats the problem.
so masha Allah when the baby is with his/her father alhamdulillah u could care for him/her , and when with the mother more time with ur husband. sounds good to me masha Allah
Abu Mus'ab
13-06-08, 05:01 PM
exactly thats what im thinking, and the mother would kinda be an interference with you relationship. right?
You're misunderstanding her, Ebony was quoting what the sharia says, the sharia says that the mother gets custody of the child if the child is so young, so there would be no 'interference', this 'interference' is a result of following western laws.
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:03 PM
You're misunderstanding her, Ebony was quoting what the sharia says, the sharia says that the mother gets custody of the child if the child is so young, so there would be no 'interference', this 'interference' is a result of following western laws.
Ohhh...I see.:up:
You're misunderstanding her, Ebony was quoting what the sharia says, the sharia says that the mother gets custody of the child if the child is so young, so there would be no 'interference', this 'interference' is a result of following western laws.
true but then again lot of muslim women like to go out to work.. so giving father equal custody allows them to do that, but then again maybe she doesnt have a choice in that, i cant imagine any other reason why a mother would allow such a young child to go to its father or why a father would take custody of a baby. Allahu alam.
Abu Mus'ab
13-06-08, 05:25 PM
true but then again lot of muslim women like to go out to work.. so giving father equal custody allows them to do that, but then again maybe she doesnt have a choice in that, i cant imagine any other reason why a mother would allow such a young child to go to its father or why a father would take custody of a baby. Allahu alam.
Well i do know some reasons, i know of some people who would take custody of the child just to spite the other parent, and i know of those who don't want their children and so just dump the child on one parent etc etc.
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:27 PM
Well i do know some reasons, i know of some people who would take custody of the child just to spite the other parent, and i know of those who don't want their children and so just dump the child on one parent etc etc.
Most likely it will be joint custody, the every other weekend thing.
Well i do know some reasons, i know of some people who would take custody of the child just to spite the other parent, and i know of those who don't want their children and so just dump the child on one parent etc etc.
:( yea true in some cases and so sad, poor baby children should never be treated like that.
Most likely it will be joint custody, the every other weekend thing.
so baby is full time with mum, and dad has his baby every other weekend ?
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:28 PM
so baby is full time with mum, and dad has his baby every other weekend ?
yes
oh well i understand that to be just visiting, its not having custody, its only every other weekend so i still dont see any problem at all then insha Allah.
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:32 PM
oh well i understand that to be just visiting, its not having custody, its only every other weekend so i still dont see any problem at all then insha Allah.
Its not the baby I have a problem with, its the mom that I don't want in me and my husbands life.
Its not the baby I have a problem with, its the mom that I don't want in me and my husbands life.
ok so now were getting down to the real issue :) well she wouldnt be in his life, if she is his ex-wife.. she is still our sister in Islam, so we treat her well and insha Allah everyone abides by islamic ettiquette maybe orgainse for a neutral relative to drop the baby off to visit insha Allah if there are problems getting along.
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:38 PM
ok so now were getting down to the real issue :) well she wouldnt be in his life, if she is his ex-wife.. she is still our sister in Islam, so we treat her well and insha Allah everyone abides by islamic ettiquette maybe orgainse for a neutral relative to drop the baby off to visit insha Allah if there are problems getting along.
You're right, I just have to remember islam, and do everything for the sake of Allah.;)
.. I just have to remember islam, and do everything for the sake of Allah.;)
cant go wrong if u do that ukhti insha Allah, have a sabr and be kind with her insha Allah so she can feel content that her baby will be well cared for and loved, and insha Allah your husband ( or should say husband to be insha Allah) will love u all the more for assisting in making his situation easier for him and his child , and all will be well insha Allah. may Allah ta ala give u all what is best for your deen amin.
susu12092
13-06-08, 05:50 PM
cant go wrong if u do that ukhti insha Allah, have a sabr and be kind with her insha Allah so she can feel content that her baby will be well cared for and loved, and insha Allah your husband ( or should say husband to be insha Allah) will love u all the more for assisting in making his situation easier for him and his child , and all will be well insha Allah. may Allah ta ala give u all what is best for your deen amin.
jazek allah sis!:inlove:
Tahiyah
14-06-08, 05:12 PM
Its not the baby I have a problem with, its the mom that I don't want in me and my husbands life.
but she will always be in his life simply because she is the childs mother. he isnt responsible to her, but he is responsible to the child. some women will use the child to get to the man, guilt trip him, ect.
i guess it depends on what kind of a person she is. inshaa Allah, she is happy and stable in her own relationship and will not be a bother to you.
sometimes in these situations too, when you and him start having your own children, this can cause jealousy issues...
anyhow my little sister, only a true prince deserves you..;)
Stylish-Girly
14-06-08, 09:51 PM
:p
none of them work, bit like you shying from looking after a 9 month baby :torture:
Oh :D n i didnt know gypsys dont work, thought they probably took on them short term contracts :p i wonder what they live off
no she has custody of the child. And the father does too.
Thats the problem.
if its an every other weekend thing then that shouldnt be much of a problem, if you're into the brother do what your heart says aslong as your parents are cool with it.
depends how cute the child is
You always come out with funny replies :p
susu12092
14-06-08, 10:06 PM
but she will always be in his life simply because she is the childs mother. he isnt responsible to her, but he is responsible to the child. some women will use the child to get to the man, guilt trip him, ect.
i guess it depends on what kind of a person she is. inshaa Allah, she is happy and stable in her own relationship and will not be a bother to you.
sometimes in these situations too, when you and him start having your own children, this can cause jealousy issues...
anyhow my little sister, only a true prince deserves you..;)
Thank you! :D
I'd marry him for the child and to make sure that the child has a good upbringing by a mother figure even if I'm not the biological mother, this way i'd win the fathers trust among other things. Theres nothing wrong with marrying a man with a baby.
Abu Mus'ab
15-06-08, 10:50 AM
interesting :1popcorn:
sometimes in these situations too, when you and him start having your own children, this can cause jealousy issues...
yep, that happened to my cousin with her ex-step mother :rubeyes:
the results of that are just horribley horrible.
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