What's all the fuss about women marrying reverts?

[Lovetolaugh]

There are only some sisters who marry reverts and these men are Muslims so what's the big deal?

On the other hand, men have been marrying reverts and non-Muslims for a long time. And for them the skin color weight a lot in their choice as men in most cultures want women lighter than themselves (other than the West where people now want to get tanned). In some places in the North side of the Middle-East, I was told any white girl who walks in will get excellent potentials but if she has blue eyes and blond hair wow that's the top no matter how the rest of her appearance and beauty is.

Beauty and physical appearance is more than the skin color but maybe some complexions can help the person being seen as beautiful depending on who is looking.

My point is why: do you have to insist they are marrying White? Did the sisters say they are marrying a White revert because he is White. We all have more things to offer than our skin color so why reduce things to the color or race? Are men being a little jealous here?

To the sisters: I make another reading of these stories. It is nice to see there are also male reverts with all the female reverts and other non-Muslim White women Muslim men are marrying. We need even more brothers to enter this religion if we dont want all Muslim men to ask for polygamy soon ;) revert sisters, bring your brothers :)


To the brothers: relax and want for your brothers what you want for yourself. That's Islam right? And follow my advice in the other thread: make it to the gym and keep up a good shape and treat your wife well when you get one. As I said in the other discussion, in my book, White doesn't mean handsome but it doesnt mean they can't be :) I am sure you agree some competition is healthy :D

Maybe for a woman, having a perfect complexion is still important but for men seriously there is more than skin color and as for the idea women would want children who are light/white skinned, well you can't control anybody's choice and you are extrapolating.

[Ameer_khattab]

braaaaaaaa:coolbro:

[muhammed_1428]

ok cool, all done.

Brother wants a revert, good for him.

Sister wants a revert, good for her.

I just want some pizza right about now

Moving on *picks up phone to dial*

[Sister-Ameena*]

:salams There is no fuss about marrying a revert. But to personally seek out a white revert and turn down brothers from, say your own race, is a little bit foolish, sad and seems a bit like self-hatred.

[Regulus de Leo]

:salams There is no fuss about marrying a revert. But to personally seek out a white revert and turn down brothers from, say your own race, is a little bit foolish, sad and seems a bit like self-hatred.

Isn't a mandated racial preference racism?

[Sister-Ameena*]

Isn't a mandated racial preference racism?

:salams Yes and no. No because it's a preference, meaning you ''prefer'' a certain race which doesn't necessarily mean that you dislike other races. And yes because by personally seeking someone from a certain race, you're subsequently turning down a person from another race for that reason, making one a racist. :)

[Enigma Dreamer]

This is getting too much now. Islam is clear. You can marry any Muslim girl for her beauty, wealth, lineage and/or religion BUT the religious one is better. So it is up to a person if they prefer a certain race, I don't see anything wrong with it because that doesn't tantamount to believing race x is superior than race y, just the appearance. If sisters are marrying reverts because they find revert brothers are more pious, don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe it is good and may make the ummah stronger and come together. There are no shortage of sisters so brothers, let us stop whining.

[Metroid]

ok cool, all done.

Brother wants a revert, good for him.

Sister wants a revert, good for her.

I just want some pizza right about now

Moving on *picks up phone to dial*

I want some ice cream toped with almonds, peanut and walnut
That's all

[Lovetolaugh]

ok cool, all done.

Brother wants a revert, good for him.

Sister wants a revert, good for her.

I just want some pizza right about now

Moving on *picks up phone to dial*




It is not that easy because you have to call early for your order and they don't offer drive through yet :p

[Lovetolaugh]

:salams There is no fuss about marrying a revert. But to personally seek out a white revert and turn down brothers from, say your own race, is a little bit foolish, sad and seems a bit like self-hatred.


Sister, I don't see a problem if a sis asks about a brother and finds through her friends/relatives. I personally wouldn't have the gut to go to an imaam and ask for a specific background/race but if there are sisters who can do that, I say "More power to them"! Maybe the men of her background in the area where she lives don't have what she is searching for. Should she go back home and sponsor a man who she will be dependant of her?

[Lovetolaugh]

Maybe it is good and may make the ummah stronger and come together. There are no shortage of sisters so brothers, let us stop whining.


:up: agree there is no shortage of sisters. It is almost the other way around.

[Metroid]

:up: agree there is no shortage of sisters. It is almost the other way around.

Unless you use online dating/matrimonial=>shortage of sisters

[Convert]

I am a white revert. And yes, there are some sisters who only want to marry a revert. I had several offers of marriage.

Why? I don't know.

We know less about Islam and the Quran than most Muslims in the Masjid, especially at first.

Actually, it was a turn off. At least to me.


When I did feel it was time to try and find a wife. I had 3 conditions.

1) She must be religious

2) She wears hijab

3) I perfered she spoke Arabic (but this wasn't a deal breaker)

All other factors, such as race and ethniciy I left up to Allah swt


By a chance encounter, I was blessed with a wife who meet my 3 conditions and much more!!

Moral of the story: Give it to the will of Allah swt, and you won't be disappointed!!!

[zaki]

brothers and sisters tend to go for reverts because they hear so many stories about how born Muslim follow other things like this tribe does this or this culture does that and the more you hear the more you believe that everyone from a certain race will be doing this or that.

[Lovetolaugh]

To Convert:

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. With our trust in Allah, we will be all winning. Glad to know Allah blessed you with the kind of wife you wanted.

We can't always know what's behind people's choices and life will always favor some people more than others but we have to get over it.

Allah made the Quran in Arabic so Arab people have something that others don't. Born Muslims may know or be more familiar with Quran and islamic laws than reverts. A blue eyed sister may be sought by many born Muslims. This is called life.



To everyone:

Instead of questioning sisters who make this choice maybe born Muslim brothers should be looking for what they aren't doing and that some reverts may be doing right. Maybe it is not just a race/origin thing.


Can you stand up for your wife if your own mother is unfair with her?
Can you maintain a wife/children and provide proper housing etc?
Are you going to stay in the place where you live in the next 5 years or you may suddenly have to move to X country?
If Allah bless with one marriage, are you going to upgrade and search for a second one right after that (some do)?


I dont place White reverts on a pedestal but I don't think we should reject them either. I also believe people can have different background but common characteristics. We dont marry only for common ethnic background well at least not all of us. Character, religion, education level, physical appearance are more important.


Do Indians from Mauritius, Trinidad or India share a lot? I can at least say that my Mauritian friends had only one thing Indian: they love basmati rice-best brand name-even their names weren't Indian.

I am Somali but never been to Mogadishu neither have my parents and I can't read Somali dont live in a area where I see my distant distant "cousins" should I be cruising the country to find one? It depends how much you identify yourself with your nationality. For some people, nationality is the main thing in their life so they have to protect it. I don't feel that way and it doesn't bother me the Ethiopian flight attendant confuses me with an Ethiopian.

When my friend and his Caribbean fiance wanted to match me with this French revert years ago, I said I wasn't interested. But if I have liked him and it was mutual I am sure we wouldn't have been too different. We had the same educational background around same age and lots of other things.

[Regulus de Leo]

It's very simple. Modern Muslim women are looking for men who are both religious and who will treat them as an equal.

See article below.

http://www.infocusnews.net/content/view/22447/135/

"I tend to meet two types [of men]," says Maryam*, 28, who has also been searching for a mate since college. "The first is the practicing Muslim brother who has his act together, but unfortunately has some really incompatible ideas about women and gender roles. The second type I meet is progressive and open-minded and is truly looking for a partner in life, but is not a

practicing Muslim."

"For me," Afaf says, "a good man is someone who lives a balanced life between Western and Eastern culture, giving precedence to religion." "

[vermeersch]

I just want some pizza right about now

What's a revert pizza ? lasagne ?

[PiElle2]

sorry what's the fuss about again....? what toppings for the pizza... hmmm....

[Lovetolaugh]

Nice article.


"We’ve been pushing young women to get educated and to get jobs, and now they’re being penalized for their ambition"


Sometimes it is even worst. I grew up in a family that didn't know how to raise a girl and prepare her for marriage as the only known model was Boys. So I got educated and then had to care for my family because not all the Boys made by the factory did understand their role as men after their father passed away.


Education is not the only thing that distract girls from marriage. Sometimes, it is our families. Our families may not know what is our best interest. They want our best interest but they may not know it. Girls/women should keep ambition in check and not take brothers' responsibilities (or husband's). It is good to be modern but not at the point of reversing roles.

Girls/women, let's keep our priorities right and marriage should be our priority.



"However, while these men are impressed with a successful and active woman, they do not consider her ‘marriage material,’" Ezzeldine adds.
"Despite the elevation of women, many men have maintained traditional ideas as to the type of wife they seek. After all, they do not see anything wrong with the way their mother was."



My impression is that some men maybe most don't feel adequate if their wife is more successful and women often need a man they can admire. The question is should Muslim men try to work harder or should women pretend less smart than they are?
I actually find that there are men who prefer a woman who has a job/career but it is often for financial issues. They may prefer the wife to work but they still want a docide one with no opinion.



Getting back to the topic of reverts, I am sure there are all sort of converts and I dont know if all of them treat their wife as an equal and are religious but we are progressing in the discussion and after all, it may be deeper than ordering a pizza :)

[LastFriday]

nothing wrong with that.

[Fairy]

I dont think there is any fuss. I am a woman and I dont want to marry a revert. No biggie!! Who cares if they do, it is not like you're going to run out of women to marry !! :rolleyes:

[-Shamil-]

i like your avatar^ is that the egyptian player from the afrcan nations?

[Oppressed]

does anyone knows of any latino reverts? :coolbro:

[Lovetolaugh]

I almost forgot about this discussion.

Thanks for replying Last Friday, Fairy, Shamil and Oppressed even if I didn't understand everything.

Fairy, I agree with you. It is not a big deal if some people prefer reverts. By "what's the fuss", I meant why do you care about the sisters who choose to marry reverts?

Oppressed, I dont know any Latino converts where I am other than the rare ones I meet in the masjid 1 every 3 year. I used to know one sister but I lost her contact.