help and advice

[ananas]

hi to all...

I wanted to ask for an advice.. and please whoever gives it tell me if u r saying that as personal opinion of u know it by Shari'a or Mufti or someone in religious authority..

I'm in love with this guy.. but we r still young to get married , we don't have the resources and i don't think our parents r ready for that yet.. we do feel we will be together forever and we plan to build a family in the future.. meanwhile, we don't want to make any sin .. so we though about writing a commitment paper between the two of us as a marriage contract..

is that ok?! or is it Haram and not valid in God's eyes..

I was also wondering would anyone here agree to be witness of the marriage.. an online witness or something?!!

Thanks..

please answer me asap (u can also email me)

[`asiya]

:rubeyes: i dont know if this is for real but to give the benefit of the doubt,

no this would not be valid, u need a walli to get married, the walli and 2 witnesses must be present with the husband to be, physically with him, u cannot witness something that u cannot see. u should not be speaking to a man alone about marriage.

The prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam said "no man is alone with a woman except that shaitan is the third amongst them" (Tirmidhi)

and certainly not without the knowledge of your walli ( your gaurdian ) if you are born a muslim, that is your father, or blood uncle, or grandfather if ur father is not alive. tell this man who says he wishes to marry you to inform your walli of that, and then stop all contact with him, so that everything can be arranged properly through your walli.

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "There is no marriage except with a wali." #

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Ibn Maajah, 1881, from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash'ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who gets married without her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been consummated, the mahr is hers because she has allowed the man to be intimate with her. If there is a dispute, then the ruler is the walli, of the one who has no wali."

Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 2709.

[ananas]

thanks anyway

although in egypt.. mufti said that zawaj 3orfi is ok, although not favoured!!!

[.: Anna :.]

how old are you? i think the best thing will be to talk to your parents about marriage because as you are thinking like this, it seems you are not really too young.
if you want to just do the contract and stay living with parents for a little while more, why not just do it properly and have the contract done in the right way and with your parents knowledge, but an arrangement like that where u set a future time for you both to live together? That shouldn't be a problem for you since with your idea I don't think you will be living together anyway as parents would not even know.
Keep your parents fully informed and don't do anything without their permission.. that is the best way. And if this guy does not want to agree to that, telling you it is better not to involve parents because of your age or any such reasons, then I don't think he will be good for you.
If you do such a contract behind your families back it probably wouldn't be valid and you will make major problems for yourselves with your families.