I need some advice *desperately*

[Anon_Ashamed]

Assalam wa alaikum,

I am sorry to be posting this anonymously and asking for advice on this matter, but I have no-one else I can talk to about this and nowhere to turn. It has been eating away at me for the last few years and I have even begun to lose faith. I have some really important life decisions to make and I really don't know what to do.

I am a male not far off from 25 years old, and even though I had denied it for years, I have come to the acceptance that I am attracted to men. I have been denying it for so long but it just hasn't gone away. Where to begin? This isn't a lifestyle choice, because if I had a choice, this path would not be it. Looking back, I was attracted to men from the age of 7 (there is no way I could have consciously chosen this at that age) - that is the earliest I recall. This developed more in high school, aged 11 onwards. I thought (or to be honest, hoped) it would go away, but it didn't. Lots of people (and I am sure I would have done the same if I was 'straight') say and assume that it's a lifestyle choice, or that it's a conscious decision, but believe me...unless you are in that position, you can never truly understand. I cannot say enough that I did not choose this, I did not want this and I really, really want it to go away. I would go as far as saying that I'd rather have a deadly cancer right now with 3 months to live than being gay if I had the choice.

I live with my family, a couple of brothers and my parents. I have a sister who is married and obviously has her own family. I was brought up with good Islamic values and teachings, and just general good etiquette etc. by my parents. I read the Quran regularly from a young age, did salaat etc. My brother is likely going to get married soon, and then it will be my time. What am I to say? What am I to do? This is beyond taboo - especially in my culture. It practically doesn't exist. You NEVER discuss things like this because it 'never' happens. So I can't tell my family. And I can't get married and make some poor girl miserable. But then there will be questions. Why am I not getting married?

I have not found an answer, but the only way out I see is to run away and just disappear from my family. Begin a new life somewhere where nobody knows me. This will be very hard, but I fear it is my only option. It will not just be hard financially, but mentally as well. I will have to leave all my friends and family. My parents are not well, either. My dad needs a lot of help with things: getting around, giving his medicine etc. He is old and generally not well. My mother is in a better state, but she has arthritis in her knees. I do a lot of things for my family and friends, hardly EVER saying no if someone needs help. I nearly always say yes because I feel bad if I can't help someone - I go out of my way to do things for family even though I have a very busy working life and a lot of my spare time is used helping other people. I feel that if I run away, I will leave my family in a bad state...because I do so much for them, who will do this? How will they cope with everything, including having a runaway son?

What about girls? I see them and think/can say they're attractive, but that's as far as it goes - I don't have any desire for them, and it's not because of my choosing not to do so. Is there some sort of dua I can read, or some medicine I can take to make me have a desire for them? I would work non stop to pay for it if I could.

My parents and Imam taught me with good values from a young age, and I cannot thank them enough for it. I was brought up to be respectful to others and especially be respectful towards women. My friends see this in me and often say how I will make a woman extremely happy one day - how she will have a kind, respectful helpful husband that won't make her do all the work and will treat her well. A couple of my friends are married and have kids. I love kids, when I am around theirs or my nieces and nephews, I always entertain them and generally help out looking after them. It saddens me that I will never be able to have any. I would love to have a wonderful woman to spend the rest of my life and have children with. But I can't, and I can't do anything about it.

And now I am here, at 24. Why am I in this state then? Can someone please give me an answer or at least some sort of solution because I really can't go on. I didn't ask for this. I have made dua so much times to Allah to make me normal, but nothing has happened - I'm still the same. I am really beginning to question my faith over this. Why has this happened to me? Why is there no way out? Like I said already, this is beyond taboo...and I really don't have anyone I can speak to about this. I have good friends, good family, but I cannot tread this subject matter with any of them. I am afraid of their reaction and just generally afraid of saying it in person to them. Right now, I am considering just saving up some money and completely disappearing. Maybe moving country or just really, really far away, because I see no other way out.

Please don't hate on me for this...I really didn't choose this and the person who hates me the most is myself. I appreciate you for taking the time to read through all of this, and welcome your advice.

Many thanks.

A_A

[LastFriday]

So far you've just mentioned to me the perfect candidate for any woman out there! You did not mention how your attracted to men. I mean, you said you look at women and the furthest you say is that they are attractive? How bout for men? Akhi, If you really are the person you say you are, then WHY not get married? If you sincerely ask Allah (swt) to help you divert these feelings then Marriage MIGHT be the solution. How will you make her life miserable? To me so far you have been curtailing these "desires" you have so far, unless you've already fallen prey to them. Often marriage can solve these types of desires / problems and Allah (swt) can put love between anyone. I'll tell you one thing though, Running away from your problems WILL NOT solve anything. You say your a caring person and Always help out, but you are willing to take such a bold step to hurt SO many around you who praise you and CARE for you? Clearly caring doesn't work ONE way, you care for them, most likely they care for you!

[XRUHYX]

Really sorry and sad to hear about the situation ur in, please be patient and make lots of dua, maybe approach an imam and see what can be done.

I would not recommend for you to run away from your family and disappear as I can not even begin to imagine how a mother or father or even a sibling would feel and how they would cope with the grief of losing a brother, a son or even just a family member!

I think you should just be patient and carry on making dua, especially late in the night.

Hope Allah helps you overcome ur problem and makes you happy again.

[Armand]

As salaam alaikum my brother,

I must commend you for your courage to open up, even if that is on an online message board. Having learned a great deal about this subject I am aware of the pain and suffering that is induced by this mental illness. Unfortunately, most Muslims will not show you any empathy since they lack a proper understanding of this condition. In fact, most of them don't even see the drastic difference between sex with one's own sex and feelings for one's own sex. Whether or not a person is born in this state is irrelevant; it is not acquired by an individual's volition. You have my support.

First off, you need rid yourself of all this unneeded stress. I would not advise you to leave your own family; this is a trick the Devil is using to put you to misery. Also, your doubts about the faith are not justified. Allaah the Compassionate does not hold you to account for thoughts outwith your control. We are reminded in the Qur'an that our evil thoughts shall be forgiven so long as we resist them and do not act upon them. Call to mind the following ayaah.

On no soul does Allaah place a burden greater than it can bear {2:286}

You are a beautiful human being beloved to Allaah (swt), and you are not blameworthy in the least. Our Lord has also informed us that He only tests those whom He loves -- the greater the test the more you are beloved to Him. It has been observed that young boys who have been sexually molested in their early age are highly vulnerable to homosexual affection as they grow into adulthood. Some of them actually develop an attraction towards kids of the same gender. I'm not implying anything here, I say this merely for the sake of knowledge. Personally, I don't believe that your sexuality can be reversed, though there are reports of people who claim to have overcome this disease and turned heterosexual, mostly Christians.

Do you have any feelings for beautiful girls at all? Do you think that ruminating on your affection for men sort of clouds your feelings for girls? Have you attempted to find out if in fact you are bisexual?

If not, then you are going to face a colossal challenge in life as a Muslim. I'm certain if you had the support of your family and friends it would be much easier to deal with this issue. Do you think there is any possible way you can reveal this to your family? Understand, however, that you aren't alone. Plenty of religious folks suffer from the pain of sexual disorders. The first thing I would do is speak with a knowledgeable scholar on the matter, preferably online, since my guess is that your local Imam(s) might not comprehend it. Here's a link to one of the most traditional websites for Muslim guidance and council, where you will find a Q&A Answers section where you can submit any questions you might wish to ask.

www.sunnipath.com

My brother, no one has the right to hate you. Don't give in to Shaytan by hating yourself. Praise your Rabb in every state. Allaah makes no mistakes.

Finally, you will find that if you devote your whole self to Him and increase your imaan you will be more at peace, and you'll find it easier to cope with the fitnas of this life.

O you who believe! if you fear Allaah, He will grant you a criterion (to judge between right and wrong), remove from you (all) evil (that may afflict) you, and forgive you: for Allaah is the Lord of grace unbounded. {8:29}

All the best, and God bless (you will be in my duas),

Armand

[LiveIslam]

I got this from sis Anna it helped me.

Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator. He will create another way for you. Do not flee from your trials; patience in adversity is the foundation of all virtue, of compassion and sainthood.
- Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani

Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.
Shaikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani

[Anon_Ashamed]

tThank you for your responses.

So far you've just mentioned to me the perfect candidate for any woman out there! You did not mention how your attracted to men. I mean, you said you look at women and the furthest you say is that they are attractive? How bout for men? Akhi, If you really are the person you say you are, then WHY not get married? If you sincerely ask Allah (swt) to help you divert these feelings then Marriage MIGHT be the solution. How will you make her life miserable? To me so far you have been curtailing these "desires" you have so far, unless you've already fallen prey to them. Often marriage can solve these types of desires / problems and Allah (swt) can put love between anyone. I'll tell you one thing though, Running away from your problems WILL NOT solve anything. You say your a caring person and Always help out, but you are willing to take such a bold step to hurt SO many around you who praise you and CARE for you? Clearly caring doesn't work ONE way, you care for them, most likely they care for you!That's the problem, I cannot bring myself to get married when I have no sexual desire for women. Maybe I didn't explain it properly before, but saying someone is attractive and actually being attracted to them is a completely different thing (well, in my experience anyway). Say I got married - I could provide for this woman, treat her well, be respectful towards her and do all I can to make her happy. Just like a man has needs though, so does a woman, and there would be one way that I could not please her at all. I have once heard of a story from a colleague at work, that she went to a wedding...and the the marriage ended within the first few days because the man was gay. I certainly do not want to put a woman through this and ruin her life or put my family and friends through such drama. I am extremely frightened by the prospect of such a thing happening. You say it is such a bold step to hurt them by running away, but to me, it is even a bigger step to hurt them by revealing this deficiency.Really sorry and sad to hear about the situation ur in, please be patient and make lots of dua, maybe approach an imam and see what can be done.

I would not recommend for you to run away from your family and disappear as I can not even begin to imagine how a mother or father or even a sibling would feel and how they would cope with the grief of losing a brother, a son or even just a family member!

I think you should just be patient and carry on making dua, especially late in the night.

Hope Allah helps you overcome ur problem and makes you happy again.Yes, I care for my family and my family care for me...but I cannot stress enough how I cannot go through with even trying to begin explaining this to them. I'd love to approach an imam...but the one I studied under, is quiet elderly now and he is an extremely high status in this continent. I respect and admire him, but I cannot go to him with this. There is a relatively young moulana that I know and he has known me from a young age...he is more in touch with the youth and realities of today, but I don't even have the courage to go to him with this. I was thinking of writing him a letter or something...but even then, I am afraid he will find out who wrote it. This is my biggest fear, and I don't think I'll ever overcome it :(First off, you need rid yourself of all this unneeded stress. I would not advise you to leave your own family; this is a trick the Devil is using to put you to misery. Also, your doubts about the faith are not justified.Unfortunately, I really see no other way out - like I said, there is no one I can talk to about this...and between telling my family my situation and leaving them without saying anything, the first way seems to me the lesser way of hurting them. I cannot go through with explaining this to them, wouldn't know where to begin and how to explain this to my family. I know my doubts of faith are wrong, but I have prayed so much to find a solution, and I have not found an answer or a way out. As far as I know, I was born with this, and there is nothing I can do to make it go away.Personally, I don't believe that your sexuality can be reversed, though there are reports of people who claim to have overcome this disease and turned heterosexual, mostly Christians.I have come to this realisation, which is why I have come to post about my problem here. I honestly don't see any way out...if I ever did reveal this to my family/friends, I would be disowned completely - there is no chance that they would understand or likely even attempt to.Do you have any feelings for beautiful girls at all? Do you think that ruminating on your affection for men sort of clouds your feelings for girls? Have you attempted to find out if in fact you are bisexual?I only wish I was. As far as I have known, I don't have an physical desire for them - at one time I thought (or just hoped) that I did, but it amounted to nothing.

Finally, I can't reiterate enough: I cannot tell my family, friends or anyone. I am cowardly afraid of the backlash, and I do not want to put myself or anyone through this ordeal. I am in such a desperate state that I have even considered looking for a female who is in the same predicament as me and getting married to her :(

Thank you for all your feedback, I welcome any more and pray that I can find a proper solution to this.

[Brother84]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Brother, I urge you to be patient and remain faithful to God. This life is short and consider this your "test" from Allah. We all have our own tests in different ways.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with liking men -- the sin is when you ACT OUT on these emotions. So definitely stay away from getting involved with any man.

This is a personal question so if you don't want to answer it, then don't. Do you get aroused physically by men? If no, if you don't get aroused by men or women physically then you should go to the doctor there may be some sort of treatment.

Don't see western psychologists, they'll tell you to get involved in male relationships.

I think you should seek the advice of your local Imam, the young one, or someone you can trust. In the end, stay away from sin and Allah will guide you. You might marry a woman who knows this or to a woman who has a similar problem. Either way, seek the counsel of the imam, he should be able to help you.

Best of luck.

Never give up hope in your Creator.

[Russo]

Salaam Bro

Sorry to hear of your situation.

I cant give you any advice on how to change your sexual orientation but the one advice I could give is DO NOT get married, otherwise you will ruin some innocent girl's life.

You need to sort yourself out and getting married wont be the answer.

Just be strong and say "no" if your parents pressure you. I know loads of single brothers in their early 40's who are not yet married and they held out (not because they were gay) because they just didnt want to marry young.

Use whatever excuse you can find to hold out.

Inshallah, you will find a resolution to your issue. Perhaps visit an imam?

[Medievalist]

People are tortured with all sorts of satanic thoughts. Sometimes the devil whispers thiefing to us, sometimes he whispers perving on women, sometimes perving on men, sometimes being jealous of so and so, sometimes hitting at someone etc etc.

We arent responsible for the initial thought because thats from shaytaan. What we are responsible for is the entertainment of that thought or its implementation. So when a person sits and thinks . . . hmmm I liked that watch in the display cabinet, if I got at this time and do x,y,z I'll be able to slip it into my pocket and leg it. Or when he sits and thinks oh he's nice - then its sin.

You're getting too hung up on these thoughts. You say you think women are beautiful, how do you know you're not sexually attracted to them because you've never been with one? Tbh bro ALLAH's put it naturally in a man that he's attracted to a woman. When a man starts gazing at another man with lust then as a punishment his desire for women is decreased and his lust for the man is increased. This needs to be reversed and the way to do it is to marry.

There have been cases in the past where homosexual thought sufferers (just made the term up) recieved counselling and/or hormone treatment etc and were successful.

Im not assuming anything but my advice is that if you're undercover watching gay porn then thats pushing you further on this disease. You should stop immediately because you're feeding your habit.

Secondly you need to try and be in wudhu all the time. Being paak at all times greatly weakens shaytaans control on you. If you're not reading 5 times namaz then you need to start now because undoubtedly namaz protects us from lewdity.

Dont worry about marrying and being unattracted or whatever. Thats a load of BS. If a man really wants to be straight then when he marries ALLAH will put the natural desire for the woman back in his heart. Perhaps its because you are unsure what a woman is that you dont know if you're attracted or not.

[reeer]

If you think you are gay, then accept it. but for the sake of being Muslim never practice it.

maybe you'll think differently in the future maybe not, maybe you'll never change your thoughts, but you have control over your actions.

this is your test, most Muslims like to have some form of hardship, they talk about testing alot, little do they know that if they thought they were gay, what kind of a trail would they go through?

really? it must be hard for you, changing oneself can be a very hard task.

take control over the smaller sins, they are more harmful as they lead to the bigger sins, which you can never take back or change.

And I know its hard to ever take this as a reality, but when you go through hardship you really do know that this life is just nothing.

[Armand]

As salaam alaikum,

That's the problem, I cannot bring myself to get married when I have no sexual desire for women. Maybe I didn't explain it properly before, but saying someone is attractive and actually being attracted to them is a completely different thing (well, in my experience anyway). Say I got married - I could provide for this woman, treat her well, be respectful towards her and do all I can to make her happy. Just like a man has needs though, so does a woman, and there would be one way that I could not please her at all. I have once heard of a story from a colleague at work, that she went to a wedding...and the the marriage ended within the first few days because the man was gay. I certainly do not want to put a woman through this and ruin her life or put my family and friends through such drama. I am extremely frightened by the prospect of such a thing happening. You say it is such a bold step to hurt them by running away, but to me, it is even a bigger step to hurt them by revealing this deficiency.

Marriage aside for a moment, if I may ask you two questions: in what country do you reside and how old are you? Your answer will be very much appreciated.

Revealing this specific deficiency is no different than revealing any other form of disorder, that is if you can manage to convince your family how your sexuality is not and was not based upon some sort of personal decision or anything; you've already mentioned that you recognized what you are at the tender age of seven. In my view, the simplest way to accomplish this is to find a moderate and knowledgeable scholar (or Imam) who will understand your condition and actually assist you in coming out of the closet and state your sexual orientation openly to your loved ones.

I say you approach your younger moulana with the name of Allaah (swt). Anon, he's known you ever since you were young, and he would help you as much as he can, without revealing your secret to anybody. For this there are reasons:

1) Clearly you are a man of intelligence. Insha'Allaah, the moulana will empathize with you and support you (especially in having you family accept you as for who you are) if you explain things the way you have on this message board.

2. It isn't your fault - his perspective of you will not change. In fact, he will take it as an act of faith and fear of God, which means you have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

There is absolutely zero need to feel ashamed. Try this, and with his help, insha'Allaah you will be surprised how things will turn out in a way shaytan never allowed you to expect. Pray to your Lord and you will find that by His love and grace He has way out in store for you. He will do it, if you ask Him.

I only wish I was. As far as I have known, I don't have an physical desire for them - at one time I thought (or just hoped) that I did, but it amounted to nothing.

I presume you have already "tested" yourself on this one?

Finally, I can't reiterate enough: I cannot tell my family, friends or anyone. I am cowardly afraid of the backlash, and I do not want to put myself or anyone through this ordeal. I am in such a desperate state that I have even considered looking for a female who is in the same predicament as me and getting married to her

There will be no backlash provided you have the slightest of faith and trust in Allaah; therefore please consider the above and take action.

Then, when you have taken a decision put your trust in Allaah. For Allaah loves those who put their trust (in Him) {3:159}

[prashantnew]

Mashallah some good advice here, my 2 cents worth would be:

Do NOT run away....if you run away you will be far away from your social support system, and then may be vulnerable and it may lead you down a slippery slope.

Subhanallah, you've identified that you MAY have a problem, just try your hardest not to sucome to shaitaans whispers. Read the story of Prophet Job, and persevere with patience.

[Eeeeemaan]

[QUOTE=reeer;2608467]If you think you are gay, then accept it. but for the sake of being Muslim never practice it.

Do not accept it!!!!
I don't want to go on a bashing session as this will not benefit you in any way but i think you need some clarity in your thoughts. if you grasp the true dynamics of your situation then hopely U may be able to tackle it.
Allah created you upon a fitrah, natural disposition and that is not homosexuality.
"Of all the creatures ofthe world, will you approach males, and leave those whom Allah has created for you to be your wives? Nay, you are a trespassing people!" (Al-Shu'ara', 26:165-166)
Allah is not unjust and would not instill these desires within you and then forbid them. It is shaytaan who is prompting you. you say you have no choice in how you feel. that is petfectly possible but it is not Allah putting you in that predicament. It is purely shaytaan who is robbing you of free will and not allowing you to practise what is pure.
The reason you find it so hard and hate yourself for what you are feeling is the iman inside you. the Prophet saw said (and I am paraphrasing) that iman will not allow the heart to find peace in a matter that is wrong or haram.
To accept being gay and not practising it is not sufficient. To accept it is to come one stept closer to practising it. and anyway what kind of a life is it to accept one thing for yourself and never realise it in reality. this is oppression against oneself. and i reiterate Allah is not unjust and neither does he ask us to be, even to our ownselves. you must never accept it.
Forget about marriage for now and concentrate your efforts on reverseing this plot of shaytaan. by the nature of Islam you must first realise that you have a choice and by not actually practising sodomy, you have already made the right choice.

[unregistered321]

dear brother
there is always a way out and there is always hope,always.
may Allah relieve you of your anguish ameen. like others have said and i reiterate, i understand this to be a test from Allah but im gonna come from a particular slant. if we see hardships as challenges and tests then there must be results right? this particular test which is very difficult, would appear to test ones self-restraint from something you feel is natural but were it to manifest would be unnatural.

restraining and trusting in Allah's guidance is a great struggle and a blessing. but i guess we have to ask ourselves, why do we struggle? or why must we struggle? what is the benefit? whats the result?. well we ought to struggle to prove our strength of character, and there is a great blessing in striving at times of difficulty and challenges because i see at as an opportunity to worship Allah and submit to His guidance and to struggle to please Him .

the benefits? and results?, the benefit is righteousness, the peace of mind and heart knowing inside that we are doing the right thing (ie following Allah's guidance) and gaining Allah's immense blessings and pleasure for struggling for His Sake. and brother this world is certainly not the only life. have we forgotten about the next life? the ever-lasting life? were each righteous soul is made experience bliss and granted true happiness and what they wish forever. especially those that strove for His Sake.
inshallah

[Forgettable]

Pray five times a day, ask from Allah to protect you from Shaytaan and his whispers. Don't
listen to music or watch bad TV programs. Do optional fasts sometimes.

Make good Muslim friends and spend more time with them. If you run away on your own, you will be less resistant to temptation, Shaytaan will use this tool. Being alone is better than the company of bad people. Being with good people is better than being alone.

Don't approach even the slightest temptation, resist even the passing glance, no sin is so
small that it cannot lead to something worse. If you don't this will lead you to the destruction of your ownself and will drop you into the burning, raging, painful, distressing, disgusting, horrible, blazing, screaming Hell Fire to burn for ETERNITY - that is no simple matter.

www.straightstruggle.com

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111880

Bro, with the help of Allah swt, you can do this. Don't reveal your sins unnecessarily (thoughts are not sins, actions are), it will cause more problems than solutions. But if you need help with thoughts it is best to go to someone reliable - a reliable Muslim, preferably scholar.

We got your back bro, and inshaAllah we will be making du'a for you (I made one just now). Allah swt is the best support to rely on. Be steadfast, and May Allah keep us all steadfast, and if Allah allows us, see you in Jannah bro!

[greenshirt]

asalaamu alaikum akhi

firstly, remember that you are not alone. i think this is helpful to remember.

now you are going through a hard time, no doubt. i would say you are going through one of the hardest tests a man could have. but remember, you have done NOTHING wrong by just having these desires. only if you act out.

if you do not want to hurt a girl, then akhi you do not have to marry. ibn tayimiyyah(ra) never got married, nor did imam nawawi(ra). these great scholars never got married! so, you don't have to. and if your parents ask, just tell them that you don't want to. it may be hard for them to accept, but the reality needs to be faced.

now if you want to get married, try marrying a muslimah in a situation like yours. a lesbian muslimah who you could marry. you guys could be friends. you do not have to engage in any actions you dont want to. but akhi, you guys can be great friends, start a family, etc. or, you could marry an asexual muslimah. a woman who fathoms the idea of intercourse.

i admit that it would be hard for you to find a woman in this situation, because though there are many, most do not admit it. but akhi, they exist. dont doubt it!

let me tell you something.. right now, you are going through a very hard time. not only are you worried about marriage and your parents, but i know youre worried about your own life.. you are probably upset that you will never be able to be with a nice guy who you can love and be together with for the rest of your life. you are wondering why all these straight people can marry, love, and be so happy, but you cant without being labeled a sinner.

akhi, this is understandable. but let me tell you, the more you are tested in this life, and you pass, then the greater the reward in the next. sure, you have been chosen for something very very very hard. but if you pass, think about how very very easy it will be in the next life.

remember that this life is so short. and remember and reflect on the next life. that has always helped me.

akhi, just hang in there. know that you are not alone, and know that you are not a bad person for simply having these desires. know that you are being tested, but the greater the test, the greater the reward insha allah.

akhi, i will make dua for you. i will keep you in my prayers. if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.

wa salaam

[Deborah1976]

Hi everyone.

As i am a new member to the forum, i am just having a quick look through the current posts and this was one of them.

May i just say how wonderful it is that the community on here are so supportive to this member. It installs greater faith for myself, that there are TRUE friends out there, and giving me more guidance-Insha Allah, to move forward.

Once again, Well done! And Blessings to Brother in distress.

D.

[me.sawda]

:salams
:insha: everything will be fine bro.

Ask assistance with patience and prayer from Allah:up:

[miss-islamic]

I know a girl who ended up getting married to a gay guy. She is going to stick it out with him. If gay people do get married they should put themselves under pressure and fulfill their marital duties, if not tell their spouse. If not then it’s injustice and haram too. :( Try talking to that young imam you spoke of bro( or maybe one you don’t know so well and have to see all the time would be better in this situation?). He might know a sis in the same position or another that is willing to stick it out with you (they get a lot of reward if they do…). Some gay people can’t stand the opposite gender at all and marriage is probably not the best option for them. DON’T run away or tell you family & friends. Good luck.

[dhakiyya]

for security reasons we don't allow people to as others to contact them via email on this forum. There is a sticky thread explaining why.

[Al-Nasser]

you are not homosexual

you are bisexual

and we don't hate you for this