How do I get myself a spouse

[Butterfly18]

salaam.
hiya all.
this question is mainly for the ladies (but men may comment too if u like). well the title says it all
how do I get myself a spouse?!

I mean i don't go weddings or clubbing or anything like that! and with all the lowering of gazes etc i don't really know how on earth i am ever supposed to get married ?! :rubeyes:

I thought it was something that would just come when ur old enough. well i am, i am ready as hell. Well i have already decided i will tie the knot soon, i.A but how am i going to find a suitable spouse. And don't give me these weir matrimonial sites, because i'm too old fashioned for that.

if you cant think of a decent and practical way, how did YOU found yourself a hubby? (or wife if ur male).

[Amethyst]

Ask Parents To Enquire Through Help Of Relatives Insh`Allah :)

[Butterfly18]

didn't i say this is mainly for ladies!!:55:

[Ibrahim70]

didn't i say this is mainly for ladies!!:55:

:o ok Im a Brother but please hear me out yea?

Yea?

Good :)

You could ask at the local Masjid if there are any Brothers that the Imam could recommend to you. You could try some of the online sites like MuslimMatch (for example), you could stalk someone on ummah and read their posts and if you like the sound of this Brother then PM them ummmmmmmmm or just attend some Islamic events and ask other Sisters to ask for you?

Just random thoughts from a Brother :o

[Hiking]

:o ok Im a Brother but please hear me out yea?

Yea?

Good :)

You could ask at the local Masjid if there are any Brothers that the Imam could recommend to you. You could try some of the online sites like MuslimMatch (for example), you could stalk someone on ummah and read their posts and if you like the sound of this Brother then PM them ummmmmmmmm or just attend some Islamic events and ask other Sisters to ask for you?

Just random thoughts from a Brother :o

:0: what kind of advice is that?? Parents sis, ask your parents or carers/other sisters, or your wali. Failing that go to your local masjid, although I'd find it a bit strange going to ask the imam direct - almost as though you take your shopping basket and go there to buy a hubby :scratch:

[Butterfly18]

:o ok Im a Brother but please hear me out yea?

Yea?

Good :)

You could ask at the local Masjid if there are any Brothers that the Imam could recommend to you. You could try some of the online sites like MuslimMatch (for example), you could stalk someone on ummah and read their posts and if you like the sound of this Brother then PM them ummmmmmmmm or just attend some Islamic events and ask other Sisters to ask for you?

Just random thoughts from a Brother :o

oke.
how am i supposed to talk to the imaam. i dont even see him. im a girl remember.

and as i said the internet im too oldfashioned for.

as far as ummah concerned, well they sent me to google and asda.

islamic events? hmm interesting. but am i not supposed to lower the gaze??? see this is really tricky u see this marriage bussiness. why is it so hard.

other sisters? only problem there, is, they aint me? so they wouldnt know what i like, and say they approach a brother and i end up not liking him. big problemo

thanks for the effort tho ;)

[Jilbabi]

Omg im so sad why are people being so cheeky and horible

sis i would advise you to tel sisters you know, tel them you are serious about finding some1...talk to your parents and actuali discuss what you are looking4in a spouse

yh get in touch with local masjid...or any aalimahs you knw give them your number cos they may knw sum people looking...also ask your friends

basically any1 you know .. make sure they knw your serious otherwise people will forget lol

i pray you wil find sum1 reli pious sis inshaAllah :up:

[Hiking]

*sighs* Im a BROTHER did you really expect a suitable answer!! :smack:

Does that mean the brothers don't have tact?
Only kidding, don't kick it all off in here!!

oke.
how am i supposed to talk to the imaam. i dont even see him. im a girl remember.

and as i said the internet im too oldfashioned for.

as far as ummah concerned, well they sent me to google and asda.

islamic events? hmm interesting. but am i not supposed to lower the gaze??? see this is really tricky u see this marriage bussiness. why is it so hard.

other sisters? only problem there, is, they aint me? so they wouldnt know what i like, and say they approach a brother and i end up not liking him. big problemo

thanks for the effort tho ;)

Does seem quite a pickle. I think it doesn't much matter about knowing sisters at these events etc. Don't they usually set up a matrimonial stall somewhere? Just sign yourself up :scratch: although I've never done that before, I could be wrong

[Ibrahim70]

thanks for the effort tho ;)

..........well inshallah some of the Sisters will recommend some solutions to you. Maybe this should be in the Sisters section so us Brothers cant see what your stalking skills are like? ;)

[Butterfly18]

Does that mean the brothers don't have tact?
Only kidding, don't kick it all off in here!!



Does seem quite a pickle. I think it doesn't much matter about knowing sisters at these events etc. Don't they usually set up a matrimonial stall somewhere? Just sign yourself up :scratch: although I've never done that before, I could be wrong

what on earth is that?

[Hiking]

Astaghfirullah!!!

As I told someone before, make a wanted poster!! But put your own pic on it and ur wali's mobile number - and make the title 'Wanted?' :p

[Butterfly18]

Omg im so sad why are people being so cheeky and horible

sis i would advise you to tel sisters you know, tel them you are serious about finding some1...talk to your parents and actuali discuss what you are looking4in a spouse

yh get in touch with local masjid...or any aalimahs you knw give them your number cos they may knw sum people looking...also ask your friends

basically any1 you know .. make sure they knw your serious otherwise people will forget lol

i pray you wil find sum1 reli pious sis inshaAllah :up:

tank u. finally a sister! :)

well i can tell my sisters. thats would be a good idea.

still dnt know what to do at the local masjid tho?

[Hiking]

what on earth is that?

Sometimes when they have big events (such as the unity fayre - which ROCKED) marriage websites such as muslimmatch.com put up stalls where people can sign themselves up

[Butterfly18]

..........well inshallah some of the Sisters will recommend some solutions to you. Maybe this should be in the Sisters section so us Brothers cant see what your stalking skills are like? ;)

A sisters section?! :rubeyes: how can i get inthere?

[Jilbabi]

wel sis i think you should tel your dad/brothers/uncles to go to the imam or you could go to the aalimahs and find out

like they could have a look out 4 you, potential spouse and what you may be lookin 4...as you would list your specifications :up:

[Butterfly18]

As I told someone before, make a wanted poster!! But put your own pic on it and ur wali's mobile number - and make the title 'Wanted?' :p

lol. very funny.

[Hiking]

tank u. finally a sister! :)

well i can tell my sisters. thats would be a good idea.

still dnt know what to do at the local masjid tho?

What is that supposed to mean? I AM A SISTER!!!:(

And I said this before, seriously:

Parents sis, ask your parents or carers/other sisters, or your wali.

Sheesh:rolleyes:


Oh and you need 1000 posts to get into the sisters section. And to have been a member for a year

PS I apologise if I sound like a flippant bloke:(

[Jilbabi]

A sisters section?! :rubeyes: how can i get inthere?

u need a 1000 posts and its gna take years lol it fel slike that 2 me :o

[Butterfly18]

wel sis i think you should tel your dad/brothers/uncles to go to the imam or you could go to the aalimahs and find out

like they could have a look out 4 you, potential spouse and what you may be lookin 4...as you would list your specifications :up:

so u wouldnt be too embarresed to do that u mean? me: so dad, brother, uncle i'd like to let you know i am finnaly recuiting a husband. 3 2 1 goooooo

[Butterfly18]

What is that supposed to mean? I AM A SISTER!!!:(

And I said this before, seriously:



Sheesh:rolleyes:


Oh and you need 1000 posts to get into the sisters section. And to have been a member for a year

sorry pumpkin:o tanks for the advice

[Medievalist]

On a serious note: ladies should speak to their mothers/sisters who will take the necessary steps. But to be honest in our culture the girls just have to sit tight and wait for someone to come and ask for them, so you can only be patient. :up:

[Jilbabi]

mayb not directly tel ur dad ..tel you mum2 tel your dad lol :o

[Jilbabi]

On a serious note: ladies should speak to their mothers/sisters who will take the necessary steps. But to be honest in our culture the girls just have to sit tight and wait for someone to come and ask for them, so you can only be patient. :up:

yh sumtimes that can hav serious consequences cos then the girls get left on the shelf..the fathers should try2 get their daughter/sisters a potential spouse 2 make life easier ...culture just makes life a bit hard sumtimes

[Butterfly18]

mayb not directly tel ur dad ..tel you mum2 tel your dad lol :o

is that really how its done? i mean i dnt know of anyone who got married that way so its a bit strange for me. i geuss its the safe way? is that how you got married? (if u are married that is) if im being too personal, dont answer!

[Butterfly18]

Hang on a minute, forgot to ask the most important question here..

are you old enough to get married :scratch: but i guess age doesnt matter sometimes, well are you physically, and emotionally able to do so?

or are we giving advice to some bachi :(

what u mean old enough! there is no such age.

[Butterfly18]

and whats bachi?

[Jilbabi]

is that really how its done? i mean i dnt know of anyone who got married that way so its a bit strange for me. i geuss its the safe way? is that how you got married? (if u are married that is) if im being too personal, dont answer!

yhh wel thats the way i knw sis lol

no am not married make dua also i do :up:

but yh i mean i think im breaking the ice..we should be able2 speak2 our parents about this issue cos they are the people we want2 set us up right so they are who we should speak2

this way you are invovling your parents and you make them feel invovled ..which bulids a gud bond

[Hiking]

hmm.. i hope you dont.. i hate deep-throat women

:rubeyes:

what u mean old enough! there is no such age.

and whats bachi?

Bachi is little girl. Old enough means..well...how old are you? :scratch:

[Butterfly18]

yhh wel thats the way i knw sis lol

no am not married make dua also i do :up:

but yh i mean i think im breaking the ice..we should be able2 speak2 our parents about this issue cos they are the people we want2 set us up right so they are who we should speak2

this way you are invovling your parents and you make them feel invovled ..which bulids a gud bond

but what if ur parents arent religious enough to get you a decent upright husband. do i still involve them?

[Butterfly18]

:rubeyes:





Bachi is little girl. Old enough means..well...how old are you? :scratch:

old enough to get married :)

[Hiking]

but what if ur parents arent religious enough to get you a decent upright husband. do i still involve them?

old enough to get married :)

Lol point taken :D do you go to uni at all? Have you tried your isoc?

[Jilbabi]

but what if ur parents arent religious enough to get you a decent upright husband. do i still involve them?

then mayb sum1 like your aunts who may be practiising

or speak2 ur parents becos then you can understand each other that way

tel them what type of person you are looking for and mayb that way you can help them become more practising inshaAllah?

[Ibrahim70]

old enough to get married :)

*Ibrahim takes notes*

Joking Sis joking! :p

Inshallah the other replies (not mine!) have helped you :)

[scribble]

A sisters section?! :rubeyes: how can i get inthere?

Here (http://www.ummah.net/forum/showthread.php?t=145896)


:rolleyes: And please, stop embarrassing yourself people.

[Jilbabi]

*Ibrahim takes notes*

Joking Sis joking! :p

Inshallah the other replies (not mine!) have helped you :)

loool ah bro that cracked me up

[Butterfly18]

loool ah bro that cracked me up

me too :)

[Medievalist]

Lol point taken :D do you go to uni at all? Have you tried your isoc?

isoc? at uni? thats terrible suggestion.

[Butterfly18]

Here (http://www.ummah.net/forum/showthread.php?t=145896)

3. The following are the MINIMUM requirements you must meet before applying.
1000+ posts [If we feel too many of these are meaningless spam or random posts, we will reject your application and ask you to wait longer.]
6 months membership.

not very usefull is it. thanks anyway:up:

[scribble]

Actually you asked how to get into the sister's section. My answer was a link to the thread telling you exactly how. :up:

Wanna get married, talk to the parents. Simple.

You don't need three pages full of spam telling you how.

[Butterfly18]

Lol point taken :D do you go to uni at all? Have you tried your isoc?


isoc?? umm well i go to hadith class but everything is segregated

[Hiking]

isoc?? umm well i go to hadith class but everything is segregated

:-/ then you prolly don't have an isoc. Try talking to the sisters/teacher of that class?

[Butterfly18]

Actually you asked how to get into the sister's section. My answer was a link to the thread telling you exactly how. :up:

Wanna get married, talk to the parents. Simple.

You don't need three pages full of spam telling you how.

its not that simple im afraid! as far as my parents concerned they will take any phd dr with lots of money and a big house. not neccisarly what im lookin for

[Butterfly18]

QUOTE=Hiking;2603960]:-/ then you prolly don't have an isoc. Try talking to the sisters/teacher of that class?[/QUOTE]

:smack:[

its a male shaykh that does it for us

[Medievalist]

Were you not involved in that whole isoc debate before? If not, I apologise on behalf of my manly self :o but not all isocs are bad

cant remember but they aint the place to find a spouse. All you got in Isocs is a bunch of randy undercover youth.

[Butterfly18]

seriously ppl! im sure its not this difficult. getting married is supposed to be easy

[Hiking]

QUOTE=Hiking;2603960]:-/ then you prolly don't have an isoc. Try talking to the sisters/teacher of that class?

:smack:[

its a male shaykh that does it for us[/QUOTE]

Do you have any female teachers? I'm afraid I'm not much help then sis, and I'm just spamming your thread. Sorry :(

Where are all the married sisters??

[Hiking]

cant remember but they aint the place to find a spouse. All you got in Isocs is a bunch of randy undercover youth.

:0: sounds like a recipe for a few marriages :coolsis:

[Butterfly18]

:smack:[

its a male shaykh that does it for us

Do you have any female teachers? I'm afraid I'm not much help then sis, and I'm just spamming your thread. Sorry :(

Where are all the married sisters??[/QUOTE]

thats what im wondering. they're probably putting the kids to bed.
aah well thank for ur help. and the spamming :p

[Medievalist]

:0: sounds like a recipe for a few marriages :coolsis:
depends on a persons standards I guess and their concept of honour and shame.

[.: Anna :.]

its not that simple im afraid! as far as my parents concerned they will take any phd dr with lots of money and a big house. not neccisarly what im lookin for

well try to explain to your mum what you are looking for in a spouse, ie religious etc...
its possible u can find someone who you will like and they also will like. talking to mum mayb a good first step. if they dnt realise you are keen to get married soon, proposals may even come and they dnt take them seriously, thinking ur not ready?
also if u let them know u are interested, if they hear about someone mayb they wil be able to make some enquiries. also let ur friends know, if they are married mayb they will know of someone through their husband.
and make dua about it, if it is something u really want them making dua regularly will help you in it. Allah can provide husband from u from somewhere you dont expect

[Butterfly18]

well try to explain to your mum what you are looking for in a spouse, ie religious etc...
its possible u can find someone who you will like and they also will like. talking to mum mayb a good first step. if they dnt realise you are keen to get married soon, proposals may even come and they dnt take them seriously, thinking ur not ready?
also if u let them know u are interested, if they hear about someone mayb they wil be able to make some enquiries. also let ur friends know, if they are married mayb they will know of someone through their husband.
and make dua about it, if it is something u really want them making dua regularly will help you in it. Allah can provide husband from u from somewhere you dont expect

aw thank u thats great advice. i suppose i could just tell them since i havent got anything to lose anyway. but remember cultures r hard to change so they'll probably take it on board but that doesnt mean they accept it

[UkhtAlMuslimeen]

:salams
i honestly dont get why as soon as a person mentions wanting to get married....people are like ...isoc! isoc!
you go to university to get a degree!...not a hubby/wife.
....and then someone has to go and mention QM :smack:

[.: Anna :.]

insha allah u might find someone in a good job, well off and everything which they are looking for, and also very religious and excellent character. in that case i cnt see why they will have a problem. and such people are not impossible to find so let them know and keep making dua regularly every day :up:

[Hiking]

depends on a persons standards I guess and their concept of honour and shame.

What is shameful about having the fact that you are seeking a partner publicised amongst the muslim community on campus? The 'president' didn't put any specifics, just a few points and asked whether anybody knew a potential suitor. If anything other than that happens at the isocs then of course I don't agree with it. And I mentioned isoc because if you don't feel you have another outlet that may be a possible route.

[Medievalist]

What is shameful about having the fact that you are seeking a partner publicised amongst the muslim community on campus? The 'president' didn't put any specifics, just a few points and asked whether anybody knew a potential suitor. If anything other than that happens at the isocs then of course I don't agree with it. And I mentioned isoc because if you don't feel you have another outlet that may be a possible route.

I repeat: depends on a persons standards I guess and their concept of honour and shame.

[Joha]

:mad: It's coz I didn't introduce myself I think :(

hear here...a metaphorical pat on the head.

But you don't need to, prolific writer that you are, is that really 2000 posts in a month :rubeyes:

Medi - what concept of honour and shame? Is this the same honour and shame that insists a woman dishonours herself if she reports an abusive husband to the police.

tsk...the world can do without that sort.

[wifeseeker]

well, well.
now we hav a husbandseeker.
sis, 2 b honest, going it alone is pretty impossible.
i been trying 2 find a wife 4 ages but so far, its not happening.
the strange thing is, it seems there r a lot of ladies looking but i just don't seem 2 meet em n none of the ppl i know r aware of women who r seeking husbands.
basically i need a woman 2 look 4 a woman 4 me, if that makes sense. similarly i suppose ur gonna need a male 2 look 4 a bloke 4 u.
i been banging my head on the wall 4 about 8 months now but it feels like a life sentence. when 2day goes by its not coming bak n this is always on my mind.
i will make dua 4 u n if u want can help u in ur search.
salaam.

[Jilbabi]

well, well.
now we hav a husbandseeker.
sis, 2 b honest, going it alone is pretty impossible.
i been trying 2 find a wife 4 ages but so far, its not happening.
the strange thing is, it seems there r a lot of ladies looking but i just don't seem 2 meet em n none of the ppl i know r aware of women who r seeking husbands.
basically i need a woman 2 look 4 a woman 4 me, if that makes sense. similarly i suppose ur gonna need a male 2 look 4 a bloke 4 u.
i been banging my head on the wall 4 about 8 months now but it feels like a life sentence. when 2day goes by its not coming bak n this is always on my mind.
i will make dua 4 u n if u want can help u in ur search.
salaam.

loooll i think som1 is hinting sumthing here....

[Hiking]

loooll i think som1 is hinting sumthing here....

:rotfl:

[wifeseeker]

bunch o comedians

[wifeseeker]

ladies n gentlemen.
it is hard finding a suitable companion but nevertheless it is sumthing we should all endeavour 2 do. the whole process bcomes eased if we aid each other.
my olive branch is extended, r there any takers?

[Jilbabi]

ladies n gentlemen.
it is hard finding a suitable companion but nevertheless it is sumthing we should all endeavour 2 do. the whole process bcomes eased if we aid each other.
my olive branch is extended, r there any takers?

yh i wanted to say ..evry1 is reli looking i gues..its just the way u look

dnt u get worid lookin 4 people on the internet

im not in any way sayin my ummah bros/sis r loonies

[Hiking]

ladies n gentlemen.
it is hard finding a suitable companion but nevertheless it is sumthing we should all endeavour 2 do. the whole process bcomes eased if we aid each other.
my olive branch is extended, r there any takers?

:rotfl: what kind of response are you expecting for that? ehm...muslimmatch.com? aren't the brothers at ur local masjid helpin you out?

[Medievalist]

wifeseeker: :rotfl: bro you're a classic.

[wifeseeker]

relax every1, wipe those smiles off ur faces.
i'm the real deal.
personally i don't use the internet as a searching tool. i prefer 2 interact with real ppl in the real world. most of these marriage sites r full o fakers n immigrant wannabe's. i'm looking 4 a sis from the uk.
the response i'm looking 4 is 4 u all 2 go to my profile. put ur tongues bak in ur mouths n then pm me. its generally the 1st step any1 wud take if they were serious about marriage.
i'm a brummie lad, a pathan, 32 n divorced (no kids but want loads.) there u go my hearts on my sleeve.

[Joha]

im not in any way sayin my ummah bros/sis r loonies

:rotfl:

wifeseeker's a subtle chap :D

[wifeseeker]

dear joha.
i am a patient man but i also realise the necessity to advertise where possible. otherwise i'll just b like the cobwebs u c around the house... forgotten.

[Hiking]

Good luck with your hunts wifeseeker and Butterfly 18, sorry I'm not very helpful :( May Allah :Swt: find you both the best spouses asap :insha:

[Joha]

dear joha.
i am a patient man but i also realise the necessity to advertise where possible. otherwise i'll just b like the cobwebs u c around the house... forgotten.

MashaAllah brother. No I admire you, you've certainly got guts. I hope you find who you're looking for.

Keep your iman strong, pray and actively look and InshaAllah you'll stumble across someone who'll make you glad that you waited :)

[Medievalist]

dear joha.
i am a patient man but i also realise the necessity to advertise where possible. otherwise i'll just b like the cobwebs u c around the house... forgotten.

looks like you're also advertising that your house is dirrty :smack:

[wifeseeker]

i'll stumble across em will i.
i am actively looking but i feel i can run n jump as much as i like but until its the will of allah i'm not gonna get anywhere. needless 2 say i will aspire 2 b a steadfast bondsman.
thanks 4 ur dua's.

[Jilbabi]

MashaAllah brother. No I admire you, you've certainly got guts. I hope you find who you're looking for.

Keep your iman strong, pray and actively look and InshaAllah you'll stumble across someone who'll make you glad that you waited :)

i agree .. good things cum2 those who wait.. i knw ur thinkin yh yh..but reli theres a reason as to why your not married yet..mayb Allah has something better planned for you

[wifeseeker]

med evil u just keep coming bak 4 more.
respect.
u know i meant the hard to reach cobwebs right?

[wifeseeker]

i must also apologise 4 sis butterfly. i didn't intend 2 transform ur thread, its not about me, its about u.
sorry.

[wifeseeker]

yeah allah knows my heart n allah knows the type of woman that makes me happy. i havn't met her yet but i catch glimpses of her in other women. such things r difficult 2 quantify n only allah truly knows all. so i'll keep my head bowed in humbleness 2 the lord of all the creation.

[MG]

awww threads like this make me heart melt.

May Allah swt bless all our brothers and sisters with pious, righteous and beautiful husbands and wives ameen

[extempers]

Bismillah,

I don't think I can ever get married. So many expectations on my part and so few of any girls will be met by me :P

[wifeseeker]

my, my.
it seems we hav a captivated audience 2nite.
allah is the provider.
only allah can change the heart.
then all the doors will open.
till then i'll keep trying 2 find the key i.e. sum1's suitable heart.
take care ppl.

[Hiking]

Bismillah,

I don't think I can ever get married. So many expectations on my part and so few of any girls will be met by me :P

Are you being serious? :rubeyes:

[wifeseeker]

bro extempers, y the distress.
it will come but u hav 2 b certain it will.
that is belief.
n even if it doesn't happen, then it was not meant 2 b.
either way b happy.
(sorry if this sounds like a excerp from the matrix)

[Omar Mukhtar]

ask around, tell your parents, friends.

[Butterfly18]

i must also apologise 4 sis butterfly. i didn't intend 2 transform ur thread, its not about me, its about u.
sorry.

its oke ur in the same boat as me put as much advertisement up as u like :) sorry to hear u havent found ur spouse yet. i cant really help you as im still trying to find out how this marriage bussiness runs myself :p may Allah give us all good and rightous spouses ameen!

im still wondering where all the married sistas are:coolsis:

[Umm_Hanzalah]

With Muslims being weak it affects every facet of their lives. When the Ummah is weak and they have no power it also becomes harder to get married. Though it doesn't mean that doing the right thing is impossible. It just means we have to be patient and accept the decree of Allah, as Allah wants us to become better and stronger Muslims by developing our character. Some people may search for a spouse for years and never find one. Others are decreed to get married early and find a spouse quickly. Marriage is just one of the many ways Allah tests us, whether we're married or not. We don't know what is good for us. So, I ask Allah to give all of us what is best for us, ameen.

Sister (and wife seeker), I would advise you to let friends and family/aunties know that you are searching ...aunties are quite useful as they often have many contacts. And some friends often have a lot of contacts as well. Once you've done your bit just be patient and get on with ibaadah and learning the deen inshAllah......keep busy so you don't dwell on this matter.

[Joha]

i havn't met her yet but i catch glimpses of her in other women.

:rotfl: Well Allah's made your job easier, you only gotta find a 1/4 of what you want in each, see...

[ThE aPpReNtIcE]

try to find one on ummah.com/forum

kidding

well

maybe im not

[LastFriday]

try to find one on ummah.com/forum

kidding

well

maybe im not

Well you aren't.

1) I think majority of people on Ummah.com are single.

2) I think no one wants to admit it but many know why they are here! Or ONE of their reasons for being here. At least some! And they don't want to admit it, but often just joke it off.Then again, some do have the GUT to say it "WifeSeeker"

3) Believe it or not, IM NOT one of those ^^ >.>"

May Allah (swt) make it easier for all of us.

[ThE aPpReNtIcE]

i dont think the majority are...i think the majority come to 'ave a good ol' time =)

but u want to get married..go to college..ur heart will be ripped out...er ull find a decent spouse =)

[UkhtAlMuslimeen]

i dont think the majority are...i think the majority come to 'ave a good ol' time =)

but u want to get married..go to college..ur heart will be ripped out...er ull find a decent spouse =)
:salams
college...uni.....
do you not go to these places to get an education ....not a spouse.

[angel*]

Mmmm lol i think most people have given you good advice - local masjid - , freinds, relations etc. If none of the above are of any use to you maybe should go out and meet some sister's who might know of someone??
Even if they arnt any help at least you might have made some good friends in your search so not everything will seem so bad, lol loads of ppl on ummah are single and if everyone knew how to get themselves a spouse well everyone would be married by now right? Ia everything will work out for you sis...:o

Uff :smack: Next time, Meddy Hassenetwork ibrahim and phoneix jee go get a room guy's! :torture: :outta:

[Ibrahim70]

Well you aren't.

1) I think majority of people on Ummah.com are single.

2) I think no one wants to admit it but many know why they are here! Or ONE of their reasons for being here. At least some! And they don't want to admit it, but often just joke it off.Then again, some do have the GUT to say it "WifeSeeker"

3) Believe it or not, IM NOT one of those ^^ >.>"

May Allah (swt) make it easier for all of us.

1) Probably true.
2) Probably not true
3) Probably not true :p


Uff :smack: Next time, Meddy Hassenetwork ibrahim and phoneix jee go get a room guy's! :torture: :outta:

Point taken :o

[LastFriday]

1) Probably true.
2) Probably not true
3) Probably not true :p


Take what you want from it >.>

[Sister-Ameena*]

:salams Make it known to other sisters that you trust that you're really looking to get married so if they know any brothers you can try talking to them (with your mahram present of course) and pray and make a lot of du'a. You know, I was in the same position you were in, I really really wanted to get married. Early on in the year, I was so stressed out, my grandmother was very close to dying subhanAllaah and she fell into a coma. A day later, she died. I really couldn't get through it, so I prayed and prayed and prayed and I made du'a to Allaah to help me become the best that I can possibly be. I also asked Allaah to grant me a pious husband to spend my life with. A week later, I was studying for a test and this sweet brother came up to me (me being religious and all), I told him to talk to my mahram. He spoke to someone I knew, his bestfriend from way back, I had meetings with him and we're set to marry next December inshaAllaah. So basically, if you're sincere make du'a and go to Allaah with a clean and pure heart. InshaAllaah you are given a pious husband who you'll dwell in tranquility and Janatul Firdaws in. Ameen. :)

[Grotbags]

:salams:

I have just gone through the whole 7 pages of this thread and deleted the numerous off-topic posts that were submitted here.

I have also infracted 2 people who seem to have made a habit of taking threads of topic with silly and unhelpful posts.

For the other users who have had their posts deleted as being off-topic (please go through this thread and check) take this as your warning, next time you will be infracted if this continues.

If you have nothing constructive or helpful to say to the threadstarter, keep your comments to yourself.

:jkk:

Grotbags

[wifeseeker]

tut tut, so many immature ummah users.
what happened 2 giving glad tidings 2 strangers?
thanku 4 ur advice good ppl.

[AbooEesa]

Allah wu Aalim!

[Kal-El]

I can never do the pursuit of a wife thing. It's hopeless in my eyes. I believe in just 'bumping' into the person, not literally speaking but generally. You fall for each other and you propose, marry, have kids, grow old, live your years together

[OBL]

I can never do the pursuit of a wife thing. It's hopeless in my eyes. I believe in just 'bumping' into the person, not literally speaking but generally. You fall for each other and you propose, marry, have kids, grow old, live your years together

you been watching too many hollywood movies, that never happens only in movies bro.

[Kal-El]

you been watching too many hollywood movies, that never happens only in movies bro.

Which part? Spending the rest of your life with someone or meeting someone on your own without having the preconceived intention of looking for a wife?

[ibn suleman]

:p

[OBL]

Which part? Spending the rest of your life with someone or meeting someone on your own without having the preconceived intention of looking for a wife?

that part.

[sis_niqabi]

salaam.
hiya all.
this question is mainly for the ladies (but men may comment too if u like). well the title says it all
how do I get myself a spouse?!

I mean i don't go weddings or clubbing or anything like that! and with all the lowering of gazes etc i don't really know how on earth i am ever supposed to get married ?! :rubeyes:

I thought it was something that would just come when ur old enough. well i am, i am ready as hell. Well i have already decided i will tie the knot soon, i.A but how am i going to find a suitable spouse. And don't give me these weir matrimonial sites, because i'm too old fashioned for that.

if you cant think of a decent and practical way, how did YOU found yourself a hubby? (or wife if ur male).

ukhti,i ask myself these same questions everyday. im in the same situations as you i don't go out much to wedding or other social events like that either.

i have found the best things to do so that you don't get too depressed about it or frustrated, is to just make a lot of du'aa and lots of acts of worship. and from there just hope Allah answers your du'aa. and keeping yourself occupied with hobbies or work so that you don't think about marriage too much

mom always tells me " you will get married when Allah sees it's fit for you to get married".

so right now it's just not your time to have a husband. when the time is right Allah will send you a good husband inshallah

[Kal-El]

Sister most proposals are made when he/she sees the person they are interested in. If they don't see you, you don't exist in the world - and if you don't exist, how do you expect anyone to knock on your door wanting to marry you?

The only thing you can do, if you dont leave the house much, is to tell your parents and family to look for a brother for you, your desire to find a husband should be common knowledge to the folks that know your family etc, that way you have a network of contacts, meaning if somewhere a brother wants to find a sister and he asks his family or friends, you will be one of the names mentioned and he can get in contact.

But just sitting at home expecting nothing - you wont get nothing. I personally could never do that, no one wants to be alone and each year that passes will make it even more unlikely. So please please dont think "its only a matter of time". You will regret that attitude for the rest of your life

[Jilbabi]

:p

:rotfl:

good one, i like the 'no refund' bit << gives people great hope lol!

[extempers]

Bismillah,

Living in America and having Indian descent, the concept of marriage is scary.

I have seen what happens in arranged marriages and I want no part of that.

I have seen what happens in love marriages and all the materialism and craziness and want no part of that.


There's just so many expectations and so many things that have to be done to be married in this country. Heck, the marriage ceremony itself is a whole world of craziness!

[summer786]

try to find one on ummah.com/forum

kidding

well

maybe im not

^^ ur scary.


here's my take on it, sis. if you can't find someone and you actually really want to get married (:scratch:) then you gotta treat it like a business: interviews, networking, etc. number one source: our sweet podgy aunty-jis. once you tell one they all blab and sooner or later everyones looking out for you.

or if not there are loads of women who specialise in matchmaking. it's like a less dodgy, non-internet shaadi.com. they have a huge book full of photos, you register with them and look through, like a catalogue . the advantage here is that these women acually know the people, so they can tell you the family background, etc.


but while you are looking, i would say: DO NOT make it your number one priority. get the wheels moving and then move on with your life. do what you would normally do. when you get too hung up on it it just eats up chunks of your life.

btw this is all second hand experience im writing (not first :p)

and make duaa of course!!! then whatever happens you know Allah is Nearest to you and well, who is a better Planner?

ws

[belal1]

how do I get myself a spouse?!


as salamu alaikum,

u go to desi land...show ur american/british passport, and say "i'm looking for a wife" then u sit back and wait for all the parents to run to u with pictures of their daughter and bio-data...:coolbro:

as salamu alaikum

[insomniac]

:salams

try via your family, friends or local masjid insha'Allaah.... the reason you are not married right now is a reason know to Allaah swt, tie your camel and rely on Allaah swt :)

[Mumtaz]

Asalamu alaikum.

Have sabr (patience) inshAllah, and ur spouse wil be found soon.

try to be active too, going to weddings, Masjids etc.
Like some sisters and brothers say it alredy tell to ur family and friends so they can help u little pit.

InshAllah Mr.Right will be found as soon as Allah wish for u.:)

[neelu]

I've decided not to bother looking now. Too much headache and I've got enough other cr@p to deal with as it is:rubeyes:

[Jilbabi]

I've decided not to bother looking now. Too much headache and I've got enough other cr@p to deal with as it is:rubeyes:

aww sis dnt loose hope or give up!

Always remember Allah is always with you ;) and He never burdens a soal with more than it can bear! :love:

[neelu]

aww sis dnt loose hope or give up!

Always remember Allah is always with you ;) and He never burdens a soal with more than it can bear! :love:

Yeah exactly- and at this rate I don't think I could bear marriage:p

[Bint ISLAM]

as salamu alaikum,

u go to desi land...show ur american/british passport, and say "i'm looking for a wife" then u sit back and wait for all the parents to run to u with pictures of their daughter and bio-data...:coolbro:

as salamu alaikum

:rofl1::rofl1::rofl1:

[Aisha261121]

assalam walaikum. everybody is saying to tell friends family ect that u are wanting a spouse but can any1 tell me how u find a husband/wife if u have reverted to islam and have no muslim family and very limited muslim friends?i mean it sounds hard enough even when u are born and raised in a muslim family with all the stuff about background cast ect, so for some1 who has reverted it sounds like its guna be near impossible to find some1!
jazakAllahu khayra.

[Umm_Hanzalah]

assalam walaikum. everybody is saying to tell friends family ect that u are wanting a spouse but can any1 tell me how u find a husband/wife if u have reverted to islam and have no muslim family and very limited muslim friends?i mean it sounds hard enough even when u are born and raised in a muslim family with all the stuff about background cast ect, so for some1 who has reverted it sounds like its guna be near impossible to find some1!
jazakAllahu khayra.

Contacts, friends can still help. If you go to Islamic events/circles, you get to meet a lot of other sisters who may be married and often their husbands may know of many brothers looking to get married. Meet other sisters in your area inshAllah.

[SPIDER]

Inshallah consult your family and friends, religious figures in the community and people of knowledge. I kind of understand where you're coming from but inshallah it's important to remember it will happen when Allah SWT wills it to. Keep striving and persevering and Inshallah Allah SWT will bless you with a good spouse.:hidban:

[shariff2]

As-salaamoualaikum

I often wonder about this myself as I have 4 sisters-in-law in the pipeline with one desperately wanting to get married.

The first and foremost is that we need to appreciate taqdeer. What is meant to happen will happen. If we really want something to happen, but it is not meant to happen, it will not happen. If we don't want something to happen, but it is meant to happen, then it will happen.

Allah does not place on us a burden we cannot bear. You can be sure that really you can bear this difficulty.

Tie your camel and trust in Allah. Adopt all halal means possible.
* Build up your network of friends.

*Try to increase your visibility by going with parents/siblings to visit relatives. You need to keep ties with them from an Islamic point of view anyway.

*Try to go to more Islamic circles/talks/events.

*You could also get your parents to organise more get-togethers at your place, inviting as many relatives as possible. I am not saying to have free-mixing at your place, but just more people to pass the word round.

*You could also try to get involved in more charity events.Islamic relief/Muslim Aid are always in need of volunteers.

I know this may sound hypocritical. However it may not be. You are adopting halal ways to find a husband. Nothing wrong with that.

I pray Allah makes it easy for YOU and all sisters to find husbands of great character. Ameen

[muslimahk]

Wasalam,

some advice a shaykh gave me was to make myself more active or more out there. Therefore you will get to know more sisters and they will get to know you.

Its often that sisters will assess the marital status of each other within the first few questions. It usually follows as:
1) Whats your name sis?
.... Habiba
2) MashAllah, and where you originally from??
....... Pakistani
3) MashAllah, and are you married (if there is no evidence of young ones in toe and you are still young)?
.......... err No.

Well there we have it. Once a sister has made a mental note if she finds anyone suitable shell be calling.
I have also been advised that we should do salatul Hajah aswell and ask Allah to fulfill our needs to get married. InshaAllah it will prove useful.

Other than that I believe that Shariff2 has pretty much summed it up.

As to reverts inshaAllah get a trusted wali if you can. It will save you meeting brothers or having to deal with more than one proposal when you have so many enthusiastic friends bringing proposals from here, there and everywhere.

It will also means that you wont get taken advantage of. Reverts are seen as being vulnerable and thus easy prey for those with unsincere intentions.
May Allah make it easy on you, ameen.
Tc

[-Shamil-]

this has probably been mentioned before but if u wanna get married, just join a uni - i know your not supposed to go to uni to get married but it seems to me evryone at uni seems to wanna get married, u'll be sorted in no time - probably have tied the knot before the first courswork deadline

[Joha]

this has probably been mentioned before but if u wanna get married, just join a uni

:smack: No don't

For the sanity of everyone who actually wants to go to university to study!

If you don't drive them up the aisle, you'll sure as hell drive them up the creek.

[-Shamil-]

:smack: No don't

For the sanity of everyone who actually wants to go to university to study!

yeh that was my intention aswell - to study

but then you realise its like some big marriage carnival - i had three proposals last yr - so those wanting to get married should just come to the carnival

[Pakistani_girl]

Salaam,

i have just joined this community.

Your question attracted me straight away, as I feel the same way.

So when you find out how to find a spouse, let me know too!!!

[Qmuslim]

yh, same here

[Aisha261121]

assalam walaikum and jazakallahu khayra to all of you 4 your advice.
who can you use as a wali if u have no muslim family and you dont know any practising muslims who are of good character ?