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serene vortex
21-05-08, 09:05 AM
During a shopping trip with my friends an unpleasant incident occurred which a dilemma was presented.

A Muslimah from out group who extracted money from the cash point noticed a woman loitering nearby, when we went to the store she was there as well appearing distracted. Whilst shopping my friend realised that her money was missing, it was three figure sum.

She realised that it was the woman loitering near us and that she had taken her money when my friend was looking at something whilst away from us for a few minutes.

The dilemma is not regarding the money, if it was I would replace the money and that would be the end of the topic.

We managed to get thr security guard ti help us and he showed us the woman coming into the store and showed us what she looked like clearly and presented us with a decision

To press charges or not?

The problem is the woman herself- I persuaded my friend not to for the following reasons

1) She was dressed as a refugee maybe Bosnian as she was light skinned she was wearing a scarf on her head- maybe she was really poor the refugees that do come from Bosnia they do beg :( and they have kids too- maybe she was desperate? I know it doesn’t excuse what she did but I’d rather she took the money out of desperation like this than some drug addict desperate for money for their next fix

2) She could be Muslim, she wore a scarf around her head and as she is female (whether she is Muslim or not) i don’t feel comfortable that she would spend time in jail, it’s a sad outcome that I wouldn’t want any woman to be in

3) i don’t have much faith in the justice system – they’ll probably file a report and that’s it, it’s not like this case will take precedent over other larger issues.


My friend thinks my feelings are clouding the issue and believes

1) the woman was a professional thief as the money was deep in her pocket and she did not feel a thing and that the scarf could be a cover up

2) That I’m looking at the issue wrong and that my feelings are clouding the scenario as if it was drug addict male then I would have no problem letting her report him.

i managed to persuade her not to go forth and pursue it further but let it go yet i am in turmoil – did I do the right thing?
i would like to pray Istikhara but then the feeling in my heart already shows that not reporting the woman was best yet it’s about justice as well, i feel that woman will be accountable for the crime she commited if not here then in the court of Allah on the Day of Judgement

Yet I am so conflicted if I did the right thing and persuaded my friend to let it go- personally if it was me I would let it go, money is money and I wouldn’t want to place a female in a cell, she didn’t look tough at all- just a short, middle aged woman.

Did i do the right thing?:(
As it's still not too late to press charges all we have to do is let the security guard know we changed our minds in the next few days.

.: Anna :.
21-05-08, 09:18 AM
Its actually not your decision, let your friend make up her own mind?

Chained_Water
21-05-08, 09:39 AM
No dilemma, you press charges.

Personally I think your reasoning is slightly ridiculous, just 'cuz she is a woman and might be Muslim she should get away with it? Nonsense.

parwaaz
21-05-08, 10:14 AM
woman wearing scarves and long skirts (of bosnian origin)often in groups of 3/4 and drag 2/3 kids each with them, who also spread there hands at others to beg. waht i dont understand is that if uk citizens can make ends meet with the benefits they are given, why can t these refugees/asylum seekers. evem if they are desparate, the way they go abt making money is not correct.

so it looks like you may have let a genuine thief of teh hook, just cos she wears a scarf and is a muslim!

AHMED BHAI
21-05-08, 12:10 PM
being a "poor muslim"

DOESNT justify stealing..youre probably one of many..and do not hesitate


this muslim sticking together nonsense is really warped sometimes..in other cases too..

Al-Nasser
21-05-08, 12:52 PM
what you did was right

it's a non Muslim country and no Muslim should feel comfortable about turning a Hijabi Muslimah to the non Muslim police

Joha
21-05-08, 01:39 PM
Unfortunately you'd probably have done better to press charges. That way she may be brought to the attention of social workers.

Often these women who walk around with kids in groups are either smuggled in or brought in legally but controlled by a gang which takes all they steal/beg in return for a roof in a rotten overcrowded room with 50 others. Chances are she either is being forced, or she has no where to live.

It's probably in her best interest to be brought to the attention of social workers, via the police if need be.

Khubaib
21-05-08, 03:49 PM
Is there a way you could approach her and talk to her yourself? It's a difficult decision but as long as you're money was returned I wouldn't want to spend valuable time pressing charges. However, perhaps you can ask them to keep her profile on record in case she "strikes again." If she doesn't seem violent I would just let it go.

Irfan GBH
21-05-08, 05:52 PM
Just because she was wearing "hijaab" doesn't mean she was Muslim. It's more likely she's a Romanian Gypsy - they traditionally wear similar clothing to Muslims and they pretend they are Muslim and they go begging outside the Masjid. Press charges, not like she's gonna get her hands chopped off, she shouldn't be allowed to get away with stealing as it'll only encourage her to steal again - and next time she might pickpocket someone who really needed the money!

PK Aali
22-05-08, 12:24 PM
Its actually not your decision, let your friend make up her own mind?

they want to help their friend, is that a sin now?

.: Anna :.
22-05-08, 01:31 PM
they want to help their friend, is that a sin now?

no :rolleyes:
but their friend wanted to press charges, and that is up to them. so there is only to a limit that you can give your advice or opinion, after that let them do what they want.

serene vortex
22-05-08, 01:55 PM
The issue was regarding the bad feelings i had by persuading my friend to stop pressing the charges, she was going to press charges but i made her change her mind and i felt confused afterwards whether i had done the right thing. Not the actual crime itself.

As there is good and bad in both situations, yes she did target my friend and no there isn't an excuse for stealing and i wasn't helping her get away with it.

The security guard knows how she looks like, if she enters the store again then they will certainly keep an eye on her and ensure that no one else suffers the same fate as my friend

And i'm not going to encourage or discourage my friend any longer- whatever course of action she decides to take is fine, i did feel slightly guilty for persuading her to such an extent to reverse her decision but decided that rather than to go up to her and tell her how much turmoil this scene has caused me i will remain silent and let her make up her own mind, if she decides to not press charges that's ok- and if she does that's ok too i won't encourage her either way.

All this was strengthened by reading Istikhara and i i realised that even if we did see the woman again- whether she is Muslim or not we're hardly going to tackle her to the ground and beat the living daylights out of her for stealing Plus as Muslims we know Allah is our judge, she will have to stand up in the court of Allah and her crime will be presented and she will be held accountable for it.