islam - culture ??????????

[rukayya]

salam alaikum, well my dear sisters, i am revert to islam, married for 5 years, cant have children, so my husband married another wife form his home country. at the very moment he forgets to pray, took riba from a bank. astarfirullah. but my sister is not even with us. sometimes i get in conflict with him. he wants to be that i am like a woman from his home country. but i am not that. i want to learn more about islam. learn arabic. want to wear the niqab in a western country. well, he is not cruel to me or things like that. doesnt beat me, or something. what can i do, yeah, i make du'a. should i be patient? are there other sisters who married a husband form another country other culture? how to manage conflicts like that. he says his mother was never in conflict with her husband. ... i do not want to speak about him cause i love him. i only want some suggestions form you. inshaAllah. allah forgive me inshaAllah.
wa salam

[neelu]

Walaykum Salam,

First of all mashallah congratulations on your conversion to Islam:up: Secondly, I'm so sorry to hear that you cannot have children. Are you sure that it isn't possible? Have you had medical tests to confirm it?

Sorry those are side issues- back to the main topic. I'm not married so don't have any experience of your situation. I will say from an Islamic point of view though, this would be a great opportunity to learn Arabic inshallah and maybe even try your hand at learning to cook some dishes from his home country that he likes. I don't see anything wrong with that as I know how some brothers can miss being able to speak their original language and the atmosphere which they associate with being at 'home'- but I think any expectations beyond that would be unfair because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that you are your own person with your own background, heritage and lifestyle which you're accostomed to and comfortable with. Obviously you wouldn't implement the aspects of your heritage which are haraam or from jahiliya as that's not what I'm referring to- I mean you also have your language, mindset etc and can't permanently ignore it either.

How do you feel about his second marriage and how does the other wife feel? Do you want to have a separate life from her or do you want to become friends with her? I personally feel that in one way it might help if you become friends as that can bring the family closer but that largely depends on your personality and the personality of the other wife (as some women can become jealous of each other and fall into disputes)- so try not to feel too pressured either way and adjust to the situation in whichever way suits your needs better inshallah.

[Unique1]

salam alaikum, well my dear sisters, i am revert to islam, married for 5 years, cant have children, so my husband married another wife form his home country. at the very moment he forgets to pray, took riba from a bank. astarfirullah. but my sister is not even with us. sometimes i get in conflict with him. he wants to be that i am like a woman from his home country. but i am not that. i want to learn more about islam. learn arabic. want to wear the niqab in a western country. well, he is not cruel to me or things like that. doesnt beat me, or something. what can i do, yeah, i make du'a. should i be patient? are there other sisters who married a husband form another country other culture? how to manage conflicts like that. he says his mother was never in conflict with her husband. ... i do not want to speak about him cause i love him. i only want some suggestions form you. inshaAllah. allah forgive me inshaAllah.
wa salam

wa alaikumsalam
sister remind ur husband abt the importance of salah and that its more important we be good muslims then trying to be asians.Allah has created us to worship him.Speak to him calmly and explain ur thoughts.(i know its not much of a advise but im not married so i cant really help.)

[rukayya]

Walaykum Salam,

First of all mashallah congratulations on your conversion to Islam:up: Secondly, I'm so sorry to hear that you cannot have children. Are you sure that it isn't possible? Have you had medical tests to confirm it?

Sorry those are side issues- back to the main topic. I'm not married so don't have any experience of your situation. I will say from an Islamic point of view though, this would be a great opportunity to learn Arabic inshallah and maybe even try your hand at learning to cook some dishes from his home country that he likes. I don't see anything wrong with that as I know how some brothers can miss being able to speak their original language and the atmosphere which they associate with being at 'home'- but I think any expectations beyond that would be unfair because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that you are your own person with your own background, heritage and lifestyle which you're accostomed to and comfortable with. Obviously you wouldn't implement the aspects of your heritage which are haraam or from jahiliya as that's not what I'm referring to- I mean you also have your language, mindset etc and can't permanently ignore it either.

How do you feel about his second marriage and how does the other wife feel? Do you want to have a separate life from her or do you want to become friends with her? I personally feel that in one way it might help if you become friends as that can bring the family closer but that largely depends on your personality and the personality of the other wife (as some women can become jealous of each other and fall into disputes)- so try not to feel too pressured either way and adjust to the situation in whichever way suits your needs better inshallah.

salam alaikum, thank you for your replais. yeah, i agreed with his new wife. i know her, at the moment there is a lot of trouble, cause she wants divorce allah u aleem without reason. i like her, i hope she will come back. but i am quiet puzzled at the moment. :( i supported my husband to marry her. alhamd. cause when i call myself a muslimah i have to take all ayats, all halal things for me, in the cause of allah.
alhamdu. my husbands' mother LOVES me more than his other wife. alhamdu. although she is form his home country, speakes his language etc. pp.
well, he has also a lot of sabr with me, married for 5 years and no children. :inlove: i do not want to destroy all things in one second as you understand. inshaallah. having sabr....
wa salam