What do you think?

[brown eyes]

i was wondering if a husband hits his wife and she then contacts the police and he's arrested, should she be made to feel guilty?

if she had no where else to go and no other way of stopping his behaviour, was she justified in calling the Police?

why do society frown upon a helpless women relying on the only means she knows to protect herself and then make her feel like she is the "troublemaker" or perpetrator?

just wondering about your islamic views

[.: Anna :.]

well beating up his wife is wrong according to islam and according to the law... so if she had no other option than to involve police he cant blame anyone other than himself, he got arrested as a consequence for his actions. people in society can be stupid and make comments were its not needed, its none of their business to make her feel guilty about it. either they should do something to help her or keep their remarks to themselves?

[Medievalist]

She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.

Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility.

[angel*]

Mmmm, first things first, he shuldnt be hitting her and like anna said if he did and she called the police then he has no1 but himself to blame.
I don't understand why people think violence is a way of communication :smack: Medds right 2 tho, her family shuld be made aware of what he did and so forth maybe they can sort the whole issue out ?

[nomoreillusions]

She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.
.

right... him hitting her isn't shameful, just her trying to stop it. :rolleyes:



Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility

blame the victim. even better.

[Medievalist]

no blame both. hypothetically speaking if a womans sitting slagging off a mans mother or calling him an illegitimate etc and then he gives her a few slaps which idiot would lay the blame totally on the man?

[nomoreillusions]

no blame both. hypothetically speaking if a womans sitting slagging off a mans mother or calling him an illegitimate etc and then he gives her a few slaps which idiot would lay the blame totally on the man?

hitting is NEVER justified.

If a woman is so bad, just divorce her. If a woman is so bad, maybe counseling is required. But no one is ever 'deserving' of a beating!

[miss-islamic]

no blame both. hypothetically speaking if a womans sitting slagging off a mans mother or calling him an illegitimate etc and then he gives her a few slaps which idiot would lay the blame totally on the man?

And what if it’s the other way around (the husband saying those things, which is the case usually, mind you)…?

[Pippin1376]

She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.

Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility.

Beating is beating. If he did that, then he should face the shame and go to jail. It's his fault for beating her, no one asks to be hit, so she isn't in the wrong.

[umee]

Of course she should seek help from her family if not from local immam or community to get him sorted out but she should never have to put up with being beaten, never.

[BlueberryMuffin]

~VeniVediVenci~ : And we shall defeat Ye

Beating = some sort of punishment or prison. Khallas :blobblue:

[Joha]

She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.

no it doesn't - that's exactly the sort of attitude that leads to the horrific violence against women we see in certain places.

It brings no shame on the women, or her family. The only person it brings shame on is the man who beat her. Serve him right. He doesn't own her - if she is disobedient and he doesn't like her he can divorce her.

[umee]

[QUOTE=Medievalist;2588832]She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.


Your not the one being hit :rolleyes:

[.: Anna :.]

no blame both. hypothetically speaking if a womans sitting slagging off a mans mother or calling him an illegitimate etc and then he gives her a few slaps which idiot would lay the blame totally on the man?

It is not right to presume that because he has hit her, she must have done those things. Maybe the guy is just an idiot, it can happen... not necessarily because of something wrong with the wife.

[Omar Mukhtar]

women should learn to fight back, break their nose if they touch you, or gud clean kick between the legs would do it he won't touch you ever again.

[neelu]

It brings no shame on the women, or her family.

Actually in REALLY backward communities, it is viewed as 'shameful' if a woman does such a thing as a woman standing up for herself is considered to be a sign of disobedience, rebellion, having a "western mentality" and therefore 'shameful':rolleyes: In such backward communities, if a woman is beaten then it is always considered to be her fault and to ensure that, the husband will spread rumours that she is of bad character, manipulative, flirtatious etc even when she isn't and even if the whole town knows that the husband is sh***ing anything in a skirt it's never his fault:o

[Stylish-Girly]

Well you did say she has no where else to go and no other way of stoppin his behaviour, cant really blame a sister here can we, a person cant think straight when they goin through physical torture any means of escape from it seems reasonable at the time regardless of the outcome.. And you cant ever put on lock on peoples mouths so forget them altho i know it must be hurtful :(

[1 Level]

She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.

Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility.



more like shame on you for not being able to give a woman any credit ever when you reply to this sort of topic,brother frankly your mentality on this subject is just wrong,you feel the man is always in the right but you dont ever say it openly and no matter what the woman has been through it is her job to forgive and forget,rude awakening brother but it dont work like that only maybe in your lil fantasy world.

this "shame" aspect wont ever die out unless ppl start thinking to hell with the idiots that say shame shame shame.

[Medievalist]

It is not right to presume that because he has hit her, she must have done those things. Maybe the guy is just an idiot, it can happen... not necessarily because of something wrong with the wife.

a) I said hypothetically
b) it was response to nomoreillusions post

[Medievalist]

more like shame on you for not being able to give a woman any credit ever when you reply to this sort of topic,brother frankly your mentality on this subject is just wrong,you feel the man is always in the right but you dont ever say it openly and no matter what the woman has been through it is her job to forgive and forget,rude awakening brother but it dont work like that only maybe in your lil fantasy world.

this "shame" aspect wont ever die out unless ppl start thinking to hell with the idiots that say shame shame shame.

no actually Im realistic. I ASSUME some things - just like you do. You assume to believe the woman totally and tihnk she's good and the man bad. I choose to assume both her husband and her are normal average people and try to give them both the benefit of the doubt. In that light - advice should be geared to reconciliation and not causing further problems.

I said she should get her elders involved if needs be, but she shouldnt have gone to the cops. If I thought the man wa right to beat her and I knew the reason then I'd come out and say it - just as I said before if a woman is dissing his mom and going on and on then I dont see why a few choice slaps shouldnt be in order; or if she sleeps around or disobeys him stubornly. Im not shy to voice my opinion so please desist from insinuating I have ulterior motives or whatever when I type.

**roll eyes**

[`asiya]

no blame both. hypothetically speaking if a womans sitting slagging off a mans mother or calling him an illegitimate etc and then he gives her a few slaps which idiot would lay the blame totally on the man?

thats not from islam :nono: Allah commands u in the Quran to first advise her, if that doesnt work then to seperate from her in the bed, then if she still continues to behave in a lewd manner, then u can tap her lightly, and as ibn abass stated when he was asked about this ayat of the Quran and was asked what is this hitting ? he said this is the tapping with siwack, and it does not leave a mark and does not cause her pain. so lets seperate the culture from islam here please.

[brjimc]

i was wondering if a husband hits his wife and she then contacts the police and he's arrested, should she be made to feel guilty?

if she had no where else to go and no other way of stopping his behaviour, was she justified in calling the Police?

why do society frown upon a helpless women relying on the only means she knows to protect herself and then make her feel like she is the "troublemaker" or perpetrator?

just wondering about your islamic views

If he hits her, call the police. No guilt! He tore up his husband card when he did that and became a criminal, both in civil law and Islamic law.

According to Isam, Muslim men are to treat their wives well and not abuse them.

The Quran never gives the man the right to abuse his wife, even as a last resort.

[xyz]

Aye i agree, any man who can do such a callous thing as beat his wife deserves to be shopped to the cops. Women due to their nature will always feel the guilt but she should realise that her actions were correct

[1 Level]

no actually Im realistic. I ASSUME some things - just like you do. You assume to believe the woman totally and tihnk she's good and the man bad. I choose to assume both her husband and her are normal average people and try to give them both the benefit of the doubt. In that light - advice should be geared to reconciliation and not causing further problems.

I said she should get her elders involved if needs be, but she shouldnt have gone to the cops. If I thought the man wa right to beat her and I knew the reason then I'd come out and say it - just as I said before if a woman is dissing his mom and going on and on then I dont see why a few choice slaps shouldnt be in order; or if she sleeps around or disobeys him stubornly. Im not shy to voice my opinion so please desist from insinuating I have ulterior motives or whatever when I type.

**roll eyes**


well i do not assume the woman to be good etc what my stance on this issue is no matter what happens a man should not ever raise his hand to his wife full stop,what exactly does a man have to gain by raising his hand?

to me a husband that raises his hand is a coward few slaps or not it is wrong end of,if you feel thats the best way then thats your choice but there are more effective ways to convey your dislike for ones actions,

police wise,would you rather he beat the woman within an inch of her life and she kept it hush hush and a few days down the line told her family when she was able to finally utter a word or 2 over the phone speaking with a battered and bruised face?

police are there to help,families a lot of the time wana sweep things under the carpet and say well just get on with it these things happen nobody ever said marriage was a straight easy simple road,men feel they can get away with anything that superior being feeling that a lot of men employ on their wives is wrong and if the authorities are a womans only safe haven to save herself from a lengthy stay in ICU then so be it good for the woman.

[Naz2007]

there is no excuse for beating up ur wife.disobedient or not. she should only involve the police once she has explained the whole situation to her family and maybe his.once they have spoken to her husband and the beathing still goes on then she should be calling the police. his beating her could end up in her having seriuos injuries or even worse (allah nah karay) but dead, it happens. there is nothing to be ashamed of nor should the family be shamed in any way, im sure they would rather have a their daughtr alive and well rather than her in a bad place. men that usually have bad tempers are the ones that end up hurting their wives, they cant control their anger so doing something physical releases their fustration.

[Medievalist]

what my stance on this issue is no matter what happens a man should not ever raise his hand to his wife full stop,what exactly does a man have to gain by raising his hand?
.

we have different starting points, hence the different responses. nuff said. :)

[maryam_hu]

The Prophet (saw) never raised his hand to a women or a child. A man who beats his wife - i'm am not talking miswak on the leg here - in my humble opinion, doesn't have enough maturity, intellect or common sense to resolve a problem without turning to violence...such a man has mental issues and should seek help.

"Beating" the wife in islam has been taken way out of context and men often use it to justify their violence towards their wives. It not only effects the women physically but also emotionally causing her to resent and hate her husband which isnt a good way of correcting the wife is he feels she has stepped out of line. Infact it just results in the opposite effect, the wife will probably rebel more. Furthermore this isn't a healthy environment for the children to grow up in...islam doesn't advocate or make room for such violence that is harmful and destructive on so many levels.

There are circumstances where the wife has no family to turn to and sometimes her family will not be very supportive or act in a selfish manner. All this "bringing shame on the family" rubbish makes me so sick....why should a women suffer unjustly in silence just so that she can save the families so called honour and if you think about it, do you think a man who beats his wife and a family who ignores or shuns it off have any honour in the sight of Allah Ta'ala? so exactly what honour are we saving here? They are just trying to save their faces for the dunya and people, i'm sorry but no women should suffer in silence for this reason.

I think going to the police as a last resort for the wife is an option that should be taken if there is no other help or way out of this abuse. If the sister is still reluctant to go to the police, then she can consider going to social services.

[1 Level]

we have different starting points, hence the different responses. nuff said. :)



yes we do indeed,you would hit a woman where as i wouldnt.:wacko:

[Medievalist]

yes we do indeed,you would hit a woman where as i wouldnt.:wacko:

lol. In principle I dont see it as wrong in every situation. Alhamdulillah I dont need to. **roll eyes**

[1 Level]

lol. In principle I dont see it as wrong in every situation. Alhamdulillah I dont need to. **roll eyes**


not wrong in every situation? its wrong in all situations regardless,

are you not man enough to seek an method,
do you really think striking a woman resolves the issue,
what sorta respect would a woman hold for her husband once he has given her a few slaps/punches/kicks?

its obvious you are not man enough to settle things without using your hands.

[Medievalist]

not wrong in every situation? its wrong in all situations regardless,

are you not man enough to seek an method,
do you really think striking a woman resolves the issue,
what sorta respect would a woman hold for her husband once he has given her a few slaps/punches/kicks?

its obvious you are not man enough to settle things without using your hands.

much as I'd like to respond to your big words - the thread isnt about me. so get back on topic. and if u wanna discuss it then PM me or open another thread.

[`asiya]

not wrong in every situation? its wrong in all situations regardless,

are you not man enough to seek an method,
do you really think striking a woman resolves the issue,
what sorta respect would a woman hold for her husband once he has given her a few slaps/punches/kicks?
.

thats what some men just dont understand, everytime they beat their wives they automatically kill off her love and respect for her husband, till theres just nothing left at all, and their wives just grow to hate them more and more each day.

[1 Level]

much as I'd like to respond to your big words - the thread isnt about me. so get back on topic. and if u wanna discuss it then PM me or open another thread.


you obviously have no real response to my so called big words what ever those words are,

fact is you use your hands to settle "situations" where you feel a woman must not cross the boundaries of,i think that pretty much settles this situation unless you wana use your hands with me :rolleyes:



im sorry to have taken this off topic but im sure the thread creator wont be complaining as it does still keep within the topics discussion minutely.

[1 Level]

thats what some men just dont understand, everytime they beat their wives they automatically kill off her love and respect for her husband, till theres just nothing left at all, and their wives just grow to hate them more and more each day.


Sister these men are their own enemies,these are the proud king of the castle types who see their wives as a few steps below them rather then on the same level,violence has never solved anything it does more damage to a situation and increases it but unfortunately some brothers feel the need to exercise this power they have by inflicting physical mental and emotional pain on their wives.

[Medievalist]

you obviously have no real response to my so called big words what ever those words are,

fact is you use your hands to settle "situations" where you feel a woman must not cross the boundaries of,i think that pretty much settles this situation unless you wana use your hands with me :rolleyes:



im sorry to have taken this off topic but im sure the thread creator wont be complaining as it does still keep within the topics discussion minutely.

You make a seperate thread and I'll discuss with u innit. or PM me. You wanna act the big man making emotional and flowery words with no real substance. make a thread and I explain innit.

[Medievalist]

Bro. if you want me to discuss this then make a thread or PM me with these above three posts in.

[1 Level]

You make a seperate thread and I'll discuss with u innit. or PM me. You wanna act the big man making emotional and flowery words with no real substance. make a thread and I explain innit.

all i keep hearing is big this big that,im not here to argue with you about how your not able to handle this discussion,your acting like a big baby but i shouldnt have said that because now your guna use the "big man online" etc etc etc

if you wana explain innit explain right here if you wana make a thread be my guest go ahead.

its simple you can not resolve an issue without using your hands,i think that settles it dont you :rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

1 Level:

Its very unfortunate that you have a limited understanding of what other people write. The first point to note is that I dont use my hands; in this light your comments regarding me using my hands to sort out issues is at one time a lie and false assumption. You should have had the decency to read and tried to put your brain into gear before running your fingers.

What I did say is that I think its not an absolute off limits thing to hit a woman. Im sorry if you feel that thats wrong or weak or whatever but thats because you dont appear to understand what life is like and what is permitted and what not. A woman is allowed to be physically chastised if she exceeds limits and does not behave; just as child or a student is liable for physical correction by the father or teacher.

Further - you seem to think men and women are equal. Its quite clear in the religion that in regards to reward, in regards to imaan, in regards to taqwah etc men and women are equal. But in regards to social status, responsibility, strength, intellect, rationality the two are NOT equal. A man has been given a rank over the woman. Thats the truth of the matter. So there is nothing wrong in a man feeling superior, he IS superior in the social sense.

The best way to lead women is the example of the Nabi :saw: and the Noble Companions. Nabi :saw: advised softness and gentlness with them; but there are instances where Nabi :saw: used physical chastisement to emphasise a wrong. The examp,le currently in my mind is regarding the incident where Nabi :saw: exited the chamber of Ummul Mu'mineen Aisha radhiyallahu anha for human need and then They returned and Ummul Mu'mineen pretended to sleep and it goes on and then Nabi :saw: made contact with Ummul Mu'mineen on the chest and chastised her.


The truth is men like you are cuckolds. You have raised women to a rank which they dont hold. The father is always superior to the child, the teacher is always superior to the student, the husband is always superior to the wife - again we're not talking about imaan or taqwah etc. Its in light of this that I say you are a cuckold. For a person to deal with a situation he has to UNDERSTAND teh situation. You dont understand the nature of women or their place; so your way of dealing with things may not be full of violence and thats good, but at the same time you wouldnt be able to lead a woman properly because there are times in a womans life where she is literally blind to common sense and emotion is running high. Your approach is flawed. brother.

[Medievalist]

not wrong in every situation? its wrong in all situations regardless,

are you not man enough to seek an method,
do you really think striking a woman resolves the issue,
what sorta respect would a woman hold for her husband once he has given her a few slaps/punches/kicks?

its obvious you are not man enough to settle things without using your hands.

1. If it was wrong in all situations then ALLAH Ta'ala wouldnt have permitted it in the Book.
2. Yes - at times physical chastisement does resolve issues.
3. Sometimes a woman later realises that what she recieved was good for her.

eg. this is a real situation btw.
A womans husband has just died and she is screaming and wailing and beating her chest and doing all that. Her son controls her but she wont stop. So he gives her two tight slaps.

On the external that is disrespectful and wrong. But in reality physical chastisement in this case was for her good, resolved the issue, and made the woman respect her son more than before.

4. whats obvious is that you're not entirely rational in your understanding of my posts **roll eyes**

[Medievalist]

you obviously have no real response to my so called big words what ever those words are,

fact is you use your hands to settle "situations" where you feel a woman must not cross the boundaries of,i think that pretty much settles this situation unless you wana use your hands with me :rolleyes:



im sorry to have taken this off topic but im sure the thread creator wont be complaining as it does still keep within the topics discussion minutely.

1. I didnt wanna derail the ladies thread but what the heck, not like I aint done this kinda thing before :p

2. fact is that you're making assumptions about me and it shows why you arent really to be taken seriously. Yeh there are situations where I might well use my hands but ALLAH save me and my family from such a situation and such a day- ameen.

[Medievalist]

Sister these men are their own enemies,these are the proud king of the castle types who see their wives as a few steps below them rather then on the same level,violence has never solved anything it does more damage to a situation and increases it but unfortunately some brothers feel the need to exercise this power they have by inflicting physical mental and emotional pain on their wives.

:rotfl:

I think you need to learn what rank a woman has and what rank a man. :coolbro:

[JDR]

:rotfl:

I think you need to learn what rank a woman has and what rank a man. :coolbro:

U got real issues , SubahannAllah I really feel sorry for ur wife if u are married. May Allah give u wisdom from the quran and sunnah .

Personally I think u should banned from giving advice to people cause u always say the wrong thinks we can’t live according the yahile culture!

And higher in what rank?? a women n a man are equivalent in Allah swt eyes! Man is the leader of the house but he never owns the women.
wa Laa hawla wala quwata illa billah!!!

btw I’m not going in discussion with u, It seems u love that…

[neelu]

Dr Zakir Naik said that the Quranic verse about men being given something more than women is in reference to men having a greater degree of responsibility over the women and the household. Unfortunately many men read that and assume it automatically means that men are superior than women etc:rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

topics been discussed. my posts were in response to 1 level. end of.

:salams

[Sister-Ameena*]

:salams Why would anyone ever feel guilty for that? The minute someone lays a finger on you, that's when you have the Popo on speed dial! That's honestly so ridiculous. I mean he (as in the husband) hit her, not the other way around. This honestly has no place in Islam, perhaps in certain cultures, but definitely not in this deen. Gosh, people really need to change their thinking. Violence against women is real and occurs every 2 minutes subhan Allaah. :( The saddest part about it is, nobody cares.

[turquoise]

Salaam,

If my husband insulted my mother, called me illegitimate, etc... I'd talk to him about it afterwards and ask him not to do it anymore. If he continued doing it, then I'd have to decide whether that issue was worth divorcing over. If I decided it was, I would tell him that, and then if the behavior continued, I would divorce him.

Is there a reason this hypothetical man couldn't also do that? Or is it just too much trouble to handle arguments like an adult rather than a 4-year-old?

[ze leetle elper]

Just to clarify that where people are talking about slaps and hitting, I hope this does not involve the face. Hitting or slapping someone on the head area is not permitted and highly disliked.

[Ebony]

Calling the police or bringing outside intervention is considered, in some communities, to bring shame and community reputation of the entire family or even extended family into disrepute.

If he is hitting her and she calls the police then he deserved it, and should have his a$$ beaten to a pulp.

And Medieval as we all know is just as his username suggests, a right old MP TP

[sis_niqabi]

If a man is beating his wife and he won't after (after an imam had advise him and other Muslims have told him to stop) then i see no problem in her going to the police. if my husband was beating and wouldn't stop if he goes to jail then oh well, he shouldn't have been putting his hands on me.


She should have got her family to intervene if he was unjust in his beating her. She shouldnt have to gone to the police, that brings shame on her and her family.

Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility.

i never heard such non-sense in my life

how does it bring shame on her or her family? the only person shame is put upon is her husband who has been hitting her.

and there is no reason why a man should be hitting his wife. men who beat women in today's world don't do it because their wife disobeyed Allah, they beat their wives so that they can feel better about themselves and make their wife feel powerless.
and if a man's wife is extremely disobedient than he needs to divorce her not beat her down.

[LiveIslam]

Perhaps she should also look to WHY he hit her? She may be disobedient in which case she shares part of the responsibility.

2 wrong make it right then for him to hit her :rolleyes:

[LiveIslam]

no it doesn't - that's exactly the sort of attitude that leads to the horrific violence against women we see in certain places.

It brings no shame on the women, or her family. The only person it brings shame on is the man who beat her. Serve him right. He doesn't own her - if she is disobedient and he doesn't like her he can divorce her.

yer excatly ive seen my own relatives going through the same situation and the man is to blame

[ILovepink]

Im just wundrin can u hit ur husband bk wen he hits u? i mean wat goes around cums around. if sum1 in the street wud hit u, u'd hit em bk right? so what makes the husband any different

[muslimma]

:start:

i don't really know what a punch up would resolve though? :confused:

[ILovepink]

atleast he'll think twice b4 he makes a fist next time

[muslimma]

atleast he'll think twice b4 he makes a fist next time

...you can't guarantee that...

the truth is sis that generally men are stronger physically... you would never win...and just get yourself hurt probably...

...but that doesn't mean to say that you should take it lying down

just that there is better and safer ways to address this issue than getting yourself hurt...:up:

[ILovepink]

...you can't guarantee that...

the truth is sis that generally men are stronger physically... you would never win...and just get yourself hurt probably...

...but that doesn't mean to say that you should take it lying down

just that there is better and safer ways to address this issue than getting yourself hurt...:up:


i see what u sayin:up:

[muslimma]

i see what u sayin:up:

:D :alhumdull

[1 Level]

1 Level:

Its very unfortunate that you have a limited understanding of what other people write. The first point to note is that I dont use my hands; in this light your comments regarding me using my hands to sort out issues is at one time a lie and false assumption. You should have had the decency to read and tried to put your brain into gear before running your fingers.

What I did say is that I think its not an absolute off limits thing to hit a woman. Im sorry if you feel that thats wrong or weak or whatever but thats because you dont appear to understand what life is like and what is permitted and what not. A woman is allowed to be physically chastised if she exceeds limits and does not behave; just as child or a student is liable for physical correction by the father or teacher.

Further - you seem to think men and women are equal. Its quite clear in the religion that in regards to reward, in regards to imaan, in regards to taqwah etc men and women are equal. But in regards to social status, responsibility, strength, intellect, rationality the two are NOT equal. A man has been given a rank over the woman. Thats the truth of the matter. So there is nothing wrong in a man feeling superior, he IS superior in the social sense.

The best way to lead women is the example of the Nabi :saw: and the Noble Companions. Nabi :saw: advised softness and gentlness with them; but there are instances where Nabi :saw: used physical chastisement to emphasise a wrong. The examp,le currently in my mind is regarding the incident where Nabi :saw: exited the chamber of Ummul Mu'mineen Aisha radhiyallahu anha for human need and then They returned and Ummul Mu'mineen pretended to sleep and it goes on and then Nabi :saw: made contact with Ummul Mu'mineen on the chest and chastised her.


The truth is men like you are cuckolds. You have raised women to a rank which they dont hold. The father is always superior to the child, the teacher is always superior to the student, the husband is always superior to the wife - again we're not talking about imaan or taqwah etc. Its in light of this that I say you are a cuckold. For a person to deal with a situation he has to UNDERSTAND teh situation. You dont understand the nature of women or their place; so your way of dealing with things may not be full of violence and thats good, but at the same time you wouldnt be able to lead a woman properly because there are times in a womans life where she is literally blind to common sense and emotion is running high. Your approach is flawed. brother.

limited understanding of what ppl write? its plain for all to see what your views on this subject are,the only unfortunate aspect is your opinion on it.

lies and false assumptions? in your little world maybe but from where im sitting everything i have said relates to your views about what a man should do in certain situations to keep wifey under control,and you really should be the last person to bring up the decency factor after how you have come across in threads such as this 1 i think decency coming from you is a bit strong and out of context.

you feel its not absolutely wrong to hit a woman but i feel it is no matter what,maybe your brain can not engage in any other manner but i for 1 hope for your sake and the sake of the sister on the receiving end of what may become a situation in which you feel it absolutely neccessary to raise the hands that it doesnt do the amount of damage mentally and above all physically which can have an ever lasting effect on a relationship.

If you feel you are above women in social standing or w/e then thats you and your bravado world i on the other hand dont feel im above or below any other person no matter what and will treat ppl equally Insha'Allah aslong as i live.

If my approach is flawed because of the fact i dont use violence then so be it flawed all the way to the bank and if this flaw of mine which you believe i have unsettles things and gives a woman "power" and the confidence to be able to speak highly about her loving caring unviolent understanding apreciative equal husband then what more could a man want,id rather sleep happily knowing my wife isnt afraid of me putting her into hospital if she somehow stepped out of line BUT knew because of my nature w/e the situation maybe then it can be resolved without the use of violence,and in your eyes if this is a wrong move then im not fussed atleast i can stand and say i aint no sissy who has to use force to make someone see their wrongs.



1. If it was wrong in all situations then ALLAH Ta'ala wouldnt have permitted it in the Book.
2. Yes - at times physical chastisement does resolve issues.
3. Sometimes a woman later realises that what she recieved was good for her.

eg. this is a real situation btw.
A womans husband has just died and she is screaming and wailing and beating her chest and doing all that. Her son controls her but she wont stop. So he gives her two tight slaps.

On the external that is disrespectful and wrong. But in reality physical chastisement in this case was for her good, resolved the issue, and made the woman respect her son more than before.

4. whats obvious is that you're not entirely rational in your understanding of my posts **roll eyes**


This situation which you have described doesnt really tag along the lines of our discussion and is irrelevant but i can see where you are coming from but if you feel this is some sorta justification for your earlier posts then yes breath happily.

1. I didnt wanna derail the ladies thread but what the heck, not like I aint done this kinda thing before :p

2. fact is that you're making assumptions about me and it shows why you arent really to be taken seriously. Yeh there are situations where I might well use my hands but ALLAH save me and my family from such a situation and such a day- ameen.

I truly do hope so Ameen.



:rotfl:

I think you need to learn what rank a woman has and what rank a man. :coolbro:


sorry brother i dont do ranks :up:

[Medievalist]

Thanks for the reply. Im happy for you bro.


:salams