Fear of marriages

[PiElle2]

assalaamu' alaikum...

bismillah...

I know there are lots of muslim bros and sis looking forward to getting married, some are engaged to do so and some are still looking for a suitable one to settle down with... (may Allah bless each and everyone with a pious partner)

And some are happily married (may Allah continue to bless their marriages) and some are even having problems (may Allah increase the mercy and love between them and guide them to a blissful marriage).

What about those who have fear in getting married for whatever reason/s, they can't even get started to look at marriages in a right way... let alone get married, what advice or books or hadiths, ayats or anything that can help?

Please state if your advice is for a bro or a sis, cos i feel they are of different nature thus require different approaches...

(Am sorry if this has been discussed before, please feel free to point me to those threads...)

:jkk: (jkk)

[zynah]

Bumpppppppppppppppppppppp!

[turquoise]

Salaam,

My advice is the same for both brothers and sisters, though they'll probably focus on different aspects. First, figure out exactly what you're scared of. 'Marriage' by itself isn't all that scary an idea - there must be something more specific. Is it the commitment? The responsibility? The practical aspects?

Once you have that figured out, you can set about trying to solve it. Depending on what the issue is, it may solve itself with the right partner. For example, I've gotten very used to living independently - coming and going as I please, eating what I want when I want, etc. The idea of marriage sounded good, but not good enough to justify changing everything I like about my current lifestyle. So, hamdulillah, I found someone who has similar views and preferences. My intention was to remain unmarried unless/until I found a man who I was really compatible with, and with whom I would be able to keep the best aspects of my single lifestyle.

Also, remember that you don't have to get married, and if you don't feel ready, there's no need to rush. If, in your view, the negatives outweigh the positives... it's an individual decision that no one else can or should make for you. That view may change in time, or it may not. Nothing wrong with it either way.

I'm a bit confused by this topic, actually. It sounds like the purpose is 'how to talk someone into getting married when they don't want to'... and I guess I don't see much benefit in doing that. Sorry if I misunderstood something.