Marriage is making me OLD

[MizMuslimahUK]

:salams well alhamdulilah i have been happily married for nearly 3 yrs Allah has blessed me with my compatiable partner i got married when i was 19 yrs old and i have 2 beautiful children. Lately i have been filling very distant from me friends i have a good group of friends and we are all the same age but since i'm the only 1 whos married with kids i feel left out and because of the responsbilites that i have upon its hard for me to fun with them like i use to.

Alhamdulilah they good invite me in alot of the activties that they good they always come round my house for hang out but i feel that my package is alot bigger now therefore i can't go out with them to lectures as often as i want since my kids are very young and its making soooo bored and old. I miss the old years but alhamdulilah i would'nt change anything for what Allah(swt) has blessed me with now.

Its funny though they soo much want to get married and settle down like me. I think then we'll all be in the same situation.

[salsabeela]

awwwwwwwww mashaAllah tabarakAllah you are narried with two beauties im happy for you :o.

u know what, no matter what i feel there is always a situation where a person feels left out. either your the only one not married, or the only one married, or the only one living in south london or.....it goes on lol

subhanAllah! dont worry and just keep in touch with them and make sure nobody freezes out nobody inshaAllah

wasalamu alaikum

[Brother Noor]

mashAllah, well im very happy that you are happily married with 2 beautiful children already, that really is amazing and a blessing.. its not as common nowadays,

i can completely understand what you mean though..

for example there are times i reallly want to get married and i mean really really want to, due the fitnah of this dunya, and so that i have someone to care and etcetc and enable things to become permissable and easier in this life,
but then i dont usually look at it in the way you do, none the less.. natrually its easier for a bro to go out with his brothers then a sister with kids to go out with hers. Allahu Alam,

but even currently, i have a few friends here and there in south london, and me being the bro i am i tend to want to hang around bros that are well mannered and practicing as i am.. and those type of friends arnt so easy to come around.. in my area.. and they are always all over the place.

also its the time of year where everyone is studying and revising for exams, whereas im here at home doing more or less nothing because iv finished uni for the year, studying design gives you that advantage of finishing earlier as there are no exams and its all c/w

but yea.. at the moment, im getting soo bored.. and have nothing to do....

if there are any bros in south london.. give me a bell and we'll chill iA if you ever read this :)

at the moment cos im at home all day or really have nothing to do, im either doing my painting, revising for al maghrib exam and thats it. :S

[Medievalist]

Sister it may feel lonely but tbh you've got the best position out of your friends in the sense you are fulfilling your role as wife and mother :up:

I understand where you're coming from as all my schoolfriends are still single cept one but even they dont have kids yet - so yeh I feel old beyond my age. Its just that you have more responsibilities compared to the others but then getting married and having kids - thats what lifes all about innit? The rest of its superficial, the way I see it my family is my future inshaALLAH. make and army of futures lol..

[Kubs]

Mashallah you have been blessed with 2 kids......nothing can come close.

Be happy and content with your situation.......there is nothing more rewarding and beautiful in this world then having to bring up your own flesh and blood.....

:up:

[shaquille20]

say Alhamdulillah for wat Allah has given you...

[PiElle2]

yes! marriage is making you feel OLD... but in reality, NO ONE thinks you are old... LOL...

everything has a measure of time, sis.

you may feel like you are being bogged down now, but as soon as your kids grow up, you get your freedom earlier than your peers!

look at your time properly, and you'll realise you have it so much better than your friends...

so you should celebrate everyday for what you have and you'll feel young everyday!

:hidban:

[.: Anna :.]

sis insha allah maybe u can meet some sisters who have got kids aswell and are married, so u will have that in common with them? not to get rid of ur other friends but have these ones in addition. even if they are older than u it doesnt matter, if u get on with them. and like the others said, what u have got is a blessing masha allah so dont let yourself feel down about it :love: i understand some of it cos i got married at similar age (18) and some sisters used to say to me "oh you're so boring now, you always have to go home, you don't come out to things" (i did go to things actually :p but less...) but its a better position to be in, even your friends wish they could be married and settled down aswell and so many sisters wish for that so dnt dwell too much on the negative side insha allah

[razz]

i totally understand wht ur going thru. i am 22 and hve one daughter and all my friends have just now graduated from university and they r living their carefree lives while i am in complete family mode lol but sometimes when i do feel a lil bit down, my husband always reminds me tht i am in a better position than all of them cuz i have already started my family so i have a head start in everything, which is true. but i simply cannot wait for my friends to also be in the same stance as i am so they can understand wht true life really is :)

[MizMuslimahUK]

i totally understand wht ur going thru. i am 22 and hve one daughter and all my friends have just now graduated from university and they r living their carefree lives while i am in complete family mode lol but sometimes when i do feel a lil bit down, my husband always reminds me tht i am in a better position than all of them cuz i have already started my family so i have a head start in everything, which is true. but i simply cannot wait for my friends to also be in the same stance as i am so they can understand wht true life really is :)

mashallah thnx for the good replies it feels good to be abale to have someone in the same position as me. In my community if your 35 and single your young but if your 18 and married your considered as old which is confusing really.

[neelu]

Mashallah sis just look at the other threads in this section about either unhappy breaking marriages, infidelity or single people finding it so hard to find a compatible spouse and then you'll realise why people on here think you're so blessed. I have the opposite problem; I'm 30 and still single so it seems like all my friends are married and busy with their own kids:o