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How do you decline to shake the opposites sex's hand without sounding rude or embarassing them?
Ive been put into this situation twice in the last week and i hate it. Once after my french speaking exam, the examiner was like well done when id finished and shook my hand. And then today on the bus home a guy had to sit next to me because there was no space and he introduced himself, put his hand out to shake my hand. He was also trying to have a convo with me. I felt bad cos i was being as blunt and to the point as i could, but i feel like i might have represented islam badly as i feel like i came across very cold. I know he was just be kind and friendly and he plucked up the courage to speak to me, but i feel bad.
Unregistered389
12-05-08, 08:48 PM
a friend of mine says 'in my religion, we don't shake hands with people of opposite gender'
it worked because i witnessed it and it was said in a kind friendly manner, and of course the other person has to be open-minded too so they don't get offended or whatever. even if they do, oh well.
think of it as a da'wah opportunity. teach people about the real islam. :) a lot of the time the person will ask "why" because it can seem a little absurd to non-muslim who have no knowledge, so explaining why we cant in a polite way gains you and our religion a great deal of respect :up:
How wierd, I was in this very same predicament today :smack: a guy at uni who I've seen for the whole year thought he'd introduce himself :smack::smack:, the above poster was right, just explain that you don't shake hands with the opposite gender - as for that guy on the bus...don't feel too bad about that- it's a little bit wierd for somebody to be introducing themselves to you on the bus...I don't want to doubt his intentions but :asta:
jezzak allah khayran.
how do explain why in a concise mannar lol?
.: Anna :.
13-05-08, 08:24 AM
Just say I dont shake hands...
they probably know it but maybe when they offer their hand they forgot or something. Alot of people would be aware of it atleast to an extent so when u mention, they will realise and you dnt have to fully explain each time unless they look confused :p
dhakiyya
13-05-08, 08:42 AM
how about having a small card that explains that Muslims don't shake hands with the opposite gender, and giving one to them when they put their hand out to shake hands. Also make sure the card says that you 100% appreciate their respect and good faith in offering to shake hands and thank them for it (or some such thing) - then say that Muslims don't shake hands with the opposite gender
just say muslims dont shake hands with the opposite gender, its nothing personal. i`ve never met anyone who had a problem with that yet alhamdulillah, if they look embaressed (as some ppl ) do just say its ok u didnt know :up:
Lol dhakiyya.
As for the guy, it was on my college bus which i get everyday to and from college. So you recognize everyone on the bus, so its not too weird. Im sure he was just trying to be friendly. But when the convo was like ending cos i wouldnt give full answers and ask him questions, he got his book out his bag, and apologised for reading and said "i dont mean to be antisocial". It was embarassing.
Many young people in the west don't realize that it is improper for a man to offer an unrelated woman his hand FIRST in greeting. Upon introduction, the woman may extend her hand FIRST if she desires, and only then should the man shake her hand. Shaking hands is the woman's decision.
This is, unfortunately, a mostly forgotten rule of etiquette. I still notice it practiced among older gentlemen however.
dhakiyya
13-05-08, 03:52 PM
Many young people in the west don't realize that it is improper for a man to offer an unrelated woman his hand FIRST in greeting. Upon introduction, the woman may extend her hand FIRST if she desires, and only then should the man shake her hand. Shaking hands is the woman's decision.
This is, unfortunately, a mostly forgotten rule of etiquette. I still notice it practiced among older gentlemen however.
this is western ettiquette? how interesting, I didn't know that.
Enigma Dreamer
13-05-08, 04:12 PM
how about having a small card that explains that Muslims don't shake hands with the opposite gender, and giving one to them when they put their hand out to shake hands. Also make sure the card says that you 100% appreciate their respect and good faith in offering to shake hands and thank them for it (or some such thing) - then say that Muslims don't shake hands with the opposite gender
and offer a link to an Islamic site where they could learn Islam. Sounds a brilliant idea :)
Subtle Silence
13-05-08, 07:14 PM
Just do the following:
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NQV0BDIbQ_Y&hl=en&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NQV0BDIbQ_Y&hl=en&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
On a serious note just tell the person the truth, "we don't shake hands" (in the nicest possible way), or even though it sounds terrible just ignore the hand :o . And if the awkwardness level rises too high you can always run like the wind. :outta:
y'know, if you don't feel like explaining, and you're in a social situation - just keep your hand away...and as he or she starts to stretch out theirs, wave.
Most people are fine with that.
I always thought it was the case too that you only stick your hand out to a lady if she offers it first...
Subtle Silence
13-05-08, 10:20 PM
[/URL]Just do the following:
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NQV0BDIbQ_Y&hl=en&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NQV0BDIbQ_Y&hl=en&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
On a serious note just tell the person the truth, "we don't shake hands" (in the nicest possible way), or even though it sounds terrible just ignore the hand :o . And if the awkwardness level rises too high you can always run like the wind. :outta:
ooops sorrry, forgot you cant embed:
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHS1Kt7LZwI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHS1Kt7LZwI)
who d man
13-05-08, 11:17 PM
protection bby i mean glovez
salaam,
i don't shake...
In a professional environment, being the only muslim woman in my company, how do I explain to colleagues and clients the reason for not shaking and all?
Jazakullah khayran
abu eeman
19-05-08, 01:15 PM
salaam sister
i work in the city in a professional environment one of my roles means i have to go to meeting and 50% of the time females will attend the meetign as well simply explaining to them is my way of getting round it all.
they shouldnt make and issue of this as it is discrimination. If they do make an isuee speak to h r
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